Endless Awakenings
by Butterfly Betty
Summary: Third story in the Awakenings Saga. Join Bella, Edward, Alice, and Jasper as they face their toughest challenge yet, the stress of having school aged kids. Will they be able to survive? Or will this tear them apart? MA, AH. Same pairings as in LA & SA.
1. Chapter 1

JPOV

"Daddy, I can't find my shoes," cried Mackenzie, attaching herself to my leg. I reached down and pulled my baby girl up into my arms and rubbed her back. She buried her face in my neck and continued to cry.

"It's ok, Mackenzie," I soothed. "I'll help you find them."

"Ok, Daddy," sniffed the little blond hair, browned eyed girl in my arms. She looked just like Bella, only she had my honey blond hair.

"Where did you take them off at?" I asked. She pulled back and looked me straight in the eye.

"In the living room but they aren't there now," she said, throwing her arms up. "I looked everywhere."

"Hmm," I said, smiling at her. "Let's check one more time, ok?"

"Ok," she sighed, dramatically.

I set Mackenzie back on the floor but took her tiny hand in mine. We walked out of mine, Edward, Alice, and Bella's bedroom and headed back downstairs to the living room. Whitley was sitting on the couch with one leg pulled up while she tried to tie her own shoes. She was the spitting image of Alice, expect she still had Edward's auburn hair and green eyes. She looked up at me and Mackenzie and smiled.

"Good morning, Daddy," sang Whitley.

"Morning, honey," I smiled. "Do you know where your sister's shoes are?"

"No but I'll help you find them," sighed Whitley.

"Thanks, sissy," whispered Mackenzie.

Whitely and Mackenzie started walking around the room like they were hoping the shoes would jump out and land right in their hands. I chuckled inwardly and got down on the floor. I had a feeling they had gotten pushed under one of the couches. That's what happened last time we had a pair of shoes go missing. Lo and behold, there they were under the couch.

"Found them," I said, pulling out the black Mary Jane's out from under the couch.

"Thank you, Daddy," squealed Mackenzie jumping on my back. "I'll love you forever for finding my shoes."

"Then you are most welcome," I laughed, pulling her off and setting her on the couch. I helped her get her shoes on while Whitley climbed onto my back, wrapping her arms around my neck. I stood up and lifted Mackenzie into my arms. "Breakfast time."

Both girls squealed as I carried them into the kitchen where Edward, Bella, and Alice were. Edward was standing in front of the stove, making pancakes, while Bella and Alice were feeding our boys, Jackson Anthony and Edison Allen, six months and eight months old, respectively. Jackson was the spitting image of me, except for the mop of black hair that covered his head. He had my blue eyes and chubby cheeks, at least according to my mother. Edison looked just like Edward. His hair was dark brown like Bella's and he had Edward's green eyes. Bella and Alice laughed as I squatted down and put both girls back onto the floor.

"Were you two attacking Daddy again?" asked Bella.

"Yep," laughed Mackenzie climbing into her seat next to Bella. "Him helped me find my shoes, Mommy."

"He helped you, not him," corrected Bella. "I'm glad Daddy helped you find your shoes. Now you are all ready for school."

"Yep," giggled Mackenzie.

"Me too," squealed Whitley, climbing up next to her sister. "I'm ready for school too."

"Ok, well, then you had better get started on all these pancakes," laughed Edward, setting a plate in front of each of them.

They both cheered as they dug into the plate of buttermilk pancakes in front of them. Edward settled down in the seat next to me and placed his hand on my back. I looked over at him and smiled. He winked at me before picking up his coffee and turning his attention back to our family.

So much had changed in the past five years since Mackenzie was born. She and Whitley had grown to be such amazing little girls, who loved each other very much. If you didn't know better, you would swear that they were twins. They were pretty close to being the same size and were both full of personality. Although, Mackenzie was definitely the more outgoing of the two.

"I'm done," said Mackenzie, climbing down from the table. She picked up her empty plate and carried it over to the sink.

"Me too," said Whitley, following her sister's lead.

"Well, then, I guess it's time to head off to school," smiled Alice, standing up. "Go get your backpacks and meet us at the front door."

"Yes, Mommy," they both said before heading out of the kitchen.

Bella and Alice got the boys' faces cleaned before handing them to me and Edward. We followed them out to the living room, where we found the girls waiting impatiently for us. Bella and Alice snapped at least a dozen pictures of the girls before we headed out to the van and loaded everyone in. Once we had all of them in their car seats, we headed off to their school.

One of the biggest changes to happen over the last five years was how hard Bella had worked in physical therapy. She had struggled so much after Mackenzie was born but her hard work paid off when Tanya officially released her. Mackenzie was eighteen months old and Bella was finally able to walk without crutches or a cane. She still had a small limp but we really don't see it anymore. Of course, when she got pregnant with Edison we were all afraid that she would have problems with her hip but other than the some mild discomfort, she managed pretty well. It was a relief to see her have so few problems this time around, even if Mackenzie was worth going through it all.

"We're here," said Alice, turning from her position in the passenger seat to look at the girls. "Are you girls ready?"

"Yes, Mommy," squealed Mackenzie.

"Um, yeah," mumbled Whitley.

I could tell Whitley was really nervous as we climbed out of the van. Alice slipped her hand in with Whitley's while Bella was holding onto Mackenzie's. I lifted Jackson out of his carrier while Edward picked up Edison. Edward and I followed Bella, Alice, Whitley, and Mackenzie into the large school.

The hallway was full of kids and their parents. We headed down the hallway to the kindergarten classroom. Emmett, Rose, Kate, Garrett, Jonah, and Jocelyn Marie, their four year old little girl, were standing outside the classroom with Embry, Jared, and Clayton. Jonah was a carbon copy of Emmett from the curly brown hair to the dark brown eyes. Jocelyn Marie, however, was the spitting imagine of Kate. She had long blond hair and bright blue eyes.

"Hey, guys," said Bella, smiling down at our niece and nephew. "Are you guys ready for school?"

"I guess," muttered Jonah. He had an arm wrapped around Emmett and Garrett's legs.

"No, I gonna be all alone, Auntie Bella," whined Jocelyn. "It's not fair."

"I know it's not, sweetie," said Bella, frowning.

"Jocelyn, I promise you are going to be just fine in pre-k," said Rose, squatting down next to their daughter.

"I know, Mommy, but Jonah gets to be with them," cried Jocelyn, gesturing to Whitley, Mackenzie, and Clayton.

"We'll see you on the playground," said Mackenzie, pulling on Whitley's hand. The two girls hugged their cousin. "And we'll see you after school."

"I know," sighed Jocelyn.

"Ok, well, we'd better get her down to her classroom," said Kate, looking at Garrett.

"Jonah, we'll see you later, ok?" asked Garrett, prying him off his leg.

"Ok, Dad," whispered Jonah.

"I love you, Jonah," said Kate, smiling.

"Mom," whined Jonah, looking around. "We talked about that already."

"I know, I know." Kate laughed as she grabbed Jocelyn's hand. "We'll see you after school."

"Bye, Jonah," yelled Jocelyn as Kate and Garrett headed down another hallway to her classroom.

"Bye, Jocelyn," hollered Jonah.

I shifted Jackson from one arm to the other before I followed my daughters into their classroom with Alice, Bella, and Edward following us. Edison had fallen asleep up on Edward's shoulder. Rose, Emmett, Jonah, Embry, Jared, and Clayton followed us into the large classroom. There were only a handful of kids and their parents in the room so far but they all looked back at us.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. White," said their teacher, a middle aged woman with dark brown hair and deep set, brown eyes. She looked around at all of us before letting her eyes fall on the kids. "Who do we have here?"

"I'm Mackenzie Faith Cullen," squealed my lovely daughter. Mackenzie turned and looked at Whitley, who was gnawing on her bottom lip. A habit she picked up from Bella. "This is my sister, Whitley Hope Cullen."

"Ok, well, it's lovely to meet you both," said Mrs. White, kneeling down in front of both girls. "Do you think you can find your desks?"

"Yes," smiled Mackenzie, grabbing Whitley's hand. "Come on, sissy."

"Ok," whispered Whitley. She looked up at us with fear in her eyes but let Mackenzie led her around the classroom.

"I didn't get your names," said Mrs. White, looking at the four of us.

"I'm Edward," said my handsome husband. He placed his free hand on the small of Bella's back. "This is Bella, Alice, and Jasper. Jackson is the little fella over there and this is Edison."

"Well, it's nice to meet you all," she said, smiling. She turned and looked down at Jonah next. "What's your name, young man?"

"Jonah McCarty," he muttered, pushing back into Emmett.

"Jonah, your desk is next to mine," said Mackenzie, coming over and grabbing his hand. She looked at Mrs. White. "Jonah is my cousin and that's Clayton. He's not my cousin but my mommy says he's still family."

"Oh, I see," laughed Mrs. White. "Well, why don't you show them both to their desks?"

"Ok." Mackenzie pulled on his hand and Jonah gulped as he let her pull him away from Emmett and Rose. Clayton hugged both Embry and Jared before following them.

"I'm Rose and this is Emmett," said Rose, gesturing to Emmett.

"It's nice to meet you both," said Mrs. White. "Jonah seems like a very sweet young man."

"Oh, he is," said Kate, as she and Garrett joined us. "I'm Kate and this Garrett."

"I'm Mrs. White."

"I'm Embry and this is Jared," said Embry, slipping his arm around the man standing next to him. Mrs. White seemed surprised to see them touching.

"Well, we should get going," I said, clearing my throat. I looked over at our girls. They were sitting at their desks whispering back and forth to Jonah and Clayton.

We told Rose, Emmett, Garrett, Kate, Embry, and Jared that we would see them at lunch and headed out of the classroom. As soon as we were clear of the classroom, Alice and Bella both started crying softly. They had held it together for the most part but it was still hard letting our girls go like this. I wrapped my arm around Alice as we followed Edward and Bella, who was nestled into Edward's embrace out to the car.

We loaded the boys inside and headed back to the house. Alice, Bella, and I had taken the day off so we could be here for the girls and Edward. He had gotten so used to having a house full of kids that only having the boys had to be a weird feeling for him, even if they would keep him plenty busy.

By the time we pulled up in front of the house, Jackson and Edison were both asleep. Alice and Bella lifted them out of the car and took them up to their room and settled them down for their morning nap. Edward and I went into the living and room and plopped down on the sofa.

"Do you think they will be okay?" asked Edward, looking over at me.

"I'm sure they will be fine, babe," I said, trying to reassure him. "Mackenzie will see it to that Whitley is okay."

"I know," sighed Edward, laying his head back on the couch and closing his eyes.

I moved over and straddled his lap. His eyes flew open and he smiled. I returned his smile as I slid my hands up to his hair, gripping it in my fingers. Edward moved his hands to my hips before sliding them around to my ass. I licked my lips before I leaned down and captured his lips with mine. Edward moaned as he opened his mouth and let my tongue in. I eagerly explored his mouth while his hands kneaded my ass through my jeans.

"So fucking hot," whispered Bella.

I pulled my lips away from Edward's and looked over at our wives. Bella was standing behind Alice with her arms wrapped around her. Alice had her hands on Bella's hips, grinding her ass into our wife. I looked down at Edward, who nodded his head and looked up at the ceiling indicating that he wanted to take this upstairs.

I climbed off his lap and pulled him to his feet, letting my hand graze his rock, hard cock. He let out a hiss and swatted my ass. We went over and pulled our wives into our arms, leading them up the stairs to our bedroom. It had been a while since we had been able to enjoy a midmorning fuck session.

The moment our door was shut, the four of us were tearing our clothes off and letting them land where ever they fell. Alice had Bella on the bed and was buried between her legs before I could even blink. Edward pushed me back on our large bed and lowered his mouth down on my length, engulfing me in his warm mouth.

"Fuck, Edward," I moaned, weaving my fingers back into his hair as he bobbed up and down on my cock. "Your mouth feels fucking incredible."

"Nothing compared to your cock, babe," he murmured, popping me out of his mouth. He ran his tongue along the underside of my shaft until he reached my balls. "Fucking delicious."

"Alice, don't fucking stop," begged Bella, lifting her hips up to meet Alice's mouth and tongue.

"Never," groaned Alice, looking up at her.

Edward engulfed my cock once more, swallowing me down his throat before moving back up. He popped me out of his mouth and climbed onto the bed, wiggling his ass at me. I knew exactly what my man wanted. I moved so that I was behind him. I gripped his hips in my hands and rubbed my cock against his ass, causing him to hiss again.

"Do you want me to fuck that sweet ass of yours, darlin?" I asked, teasing his puckered hole.

"Yes," he whimpered. "Please."

I slapped one of his ass cheeks before I leaned over and grabbed the lube from the drawer in the nightstand. I quickly squirted enough on my fingers to make sure he would be nice and slippery for me. Once he was ready, I placed the tip of my cock at his entrance and slowly sheathed myself inside of his warm, tight ass.

"Oh, fuck, Jas," moaned Edward, dropping his head down onto the bed. "So fucking good."

"Yes, it is," I muttered, pulling back out and pushing back into him.

"Alice," cried Bella, coming hard as Alice fucked her with her tongue.

Alice leaned up and kissed Bella, shoving her tongue into her mouth. Their naked bodies were rubbing against each other's making me harder and Edward push back into me harder. He liked what he saw too.

"Alice," he growled, pulling on her arm. Alice pulled her lips away from Bella's long enough to look at him. "Over here, now."

Alice smiled as she pulled away from Bella and moved over in front of Edward. He dipped his head down and buried his face in her wet sex. I could smell her arousal from here and I knew that she had to taste really good. Bella leaned up and kissed me before she slid in under Edward and took his cock into her mouth.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," moaned Edward.

Alice moved her hand to the back of his head, bringing his mouth back down onto her. I could already feel my orgasm starting to build and I wanted Edward and Alice to come with me. I tightened my grip on Edward's hips as I started thrusting into him harder and harder. He moaned again as he slid his fingers into Alice.

"EDWARD," screamed Alice, releasing her orgasm and coming for him.

"Bella, fuck," growled Edward. His ass clenched around my cock as he came for her. I slammed my hips into him once more before I let go and let my own release wash over me.

"Sweet holy fuck," I moaned.

I rode out my orgasm as Bella and Alice moved so that they were laying up on the pillows. I gently pulled out of Edward and laid down, pulling him back against me. I wrapped my arms around him and looked at our wives, who were wrapped up in each other.

"That was nice," I said, smiling.

"It was fucking hot." Bella giggled as she palmed Alice's breast. "I can't remember the last time we were able to do that in the middle of the morning."

"I can't either," laughed Edward. Just them Jackson started fussing followed closely by Edison.

"We'll get them," said Alice, climbing of the bed with Bella. "You two clean up."

"Ok, love you," I said, smiling.

"Love you, too," said Bella, winking at us.

They quickly got dressed headed out to the get the boys. Edward and I headed into the bathroom and took a shower before putting out clothes back on. We headed downstairs and sat down next to our wives while they feed the boys. I sat there with Edward wrapped in my arms and looked at the difference in how our wives looked now, compared to when we first met them seven years ago.

They were both gorgeous, of course. The years had only enhanced their beauty. Alice had worked hard after both Whitley and Jackson were born to get her figure back. She was toner, firmer in most places than she was. She had cut several inches off her long, black hair but it still reached to just below her shoulders.

Bella's transformation was the most obvious to anyone who knew her after the accident that almost claimed her life. After Mackenzie was born, Bella struggled to lose the last ten pounds or so that she had gained. Neither Edward, Alice, or I cared about the extra weight. After how much she lost because of the accident and her struggle to get her life back, it actually made her look healthier but it was an issue for Bella. When she had Edison, something changed. She just didn't care anymore. She lost all twenty-two pounds she gained with him and a few extra but she's finally content with how her body looks. She still wears her hair in long layers that flow down her back.

I looked over at Edward next. He had changed a lot, too. His change was a lot more subtle than Bella and Alice's. Five years as a stay at home dad had him wearing jeans and t-shirts instead of suits and ties everyday but they looked good on him. Better, in fact. His auburn hair was still messy and gorgeous as it ever was. He had gained a few pounds but so had I.

Just before noon, we loaded the boys back into the car and headed down to Mike's to meet everyone for lunch. Edward parked the van next to Emmett's car. We climbed out and headed inside. Rose, Emmett, Garrett, and Kate were sitting at the large table in the back with Jared, Embry, and our parents. Catherine and Charlotte made a bee line for us and snatched the Jackson and Edison right out of mine and Edward's arms, causing Peter, William, Charlie, Renee, Esme, and Carlisle all to laugh.

"It's nice to see you, too," I teased as I took the seat next to Alice. I rested my arm on the back of her seat. Edward's fingers grazed mine as he placed his arm around Bella.

"Oh, hush," scoffed Charlotte, waving me off. "I've miss my grandsons."

"Me too," smiled Catherine, kissing Edison's chubby cheeks.

"Ok, so did you cry?" asked Carlisle, looking right at Alice and Bella.

"Maybe," muttered Bella, puckering her lips up. She sighed and threw her hands up. "I sobbed like a baby. I managed to make it out of their classroom but I just can't believe our girls are old enough to be going to school already!"

"I cried too," admitted Alice. "Whitley looked so scared."

"I'm sure Mackenzie will make sure she's ok," I whispered, pressing my lips against the side of her head.

"I know," murmured Alice.

"Rose, Kate, did you cry?" asked Esme, raising an eyebrow at the two of them.

"Like I was sending him off to war," admitted Rose, shaking her head. "It was pathetic but he was looking at me like I just told him that he was going to have to eat spinach."

"Jocelyn wouldn't even let me walk her into the classroom," explained Kate. "She stopped me outside the door and told me that she was a big girl and she could take it from there. She turned and walked in and I started sobbing. Garrett had to pull me away from the door."

"Yeah, Jared had to pull me out of the classroom," muttered Embry, shaking his head. "Clay looked at me like I was crazy but I couldn't help it. He's gotten so big already."

"It gets easier," said Charlie, trying his hardest to stifle his laughter. However, he was unable to.

"Shut up, Dad," muttered Bella.

"Hello, everyone," sang Mike, hustling out of the kitchen with a tray full of food. There were two waiters following him with equally big trays of food. "How's everything going?"

"Good," said Bella, smiling as Mike and the two boys behind him started passing out our lunch. "What's on the menu for today, Mike?"

"Well, I thought I would try something new on you guys and see what you think before adding it to the menu," explained Mike, setting a plate of some kind of chicken in front of me. "It's a new chicken recipe that calls for lavender. I haven't used it a lot but I thought it would be something different. Let me know what you think."

"This is good, Mike," moaned Alice, taking the first bit. "Like really good."

"Thanks, honey."

Mike was beaming as he headed back into the kitchen. I cut a bit sized piece off and popped it into my mouth. It was good, tangy but not too tangy. Mike had himself another winner that's for sure. Mike's business had grown to be nearly three times what it was just a few years ago. He had opened up restaurants in San Francisco, Seattle, and New York. It caused him to do quite a lot of traveling but Tyler went with him. Since they didn't have any kids, they could travel that much. When we asked them about adopting like Embry and Jared had, they told us that while they loved kids, they didn't want any of their own. They enjoyed being the cool uncles, as they put it.

After a long lunch with our family, we paid our bill and headed back out to the van. It was time to go get the girls from school. We followed Emmett, Rose, Kate, Garrett, Embry, and Jared to the school. We waited outside the doors that lead to their classroom. The bell rang and Mrs. White opened the door and released all the kids to their parents.

"Mommy, we had so much fun today," squeaked Mackenzie, jumping into Bella's waiting arms. She wrapped her little arms and legs around her.

"I'm so happy you had a good day, honey," said Bella, smiling. She looked down at Whitley, who was wrapped around Edward's leg. "What about you, sweetie? Did you have a good day?"

"Yes, Mommy," answered Whitley. "I had fun. Mrs. White said that I could be her helper all week."

"That's great, Whit." Alice smiled as she knelt down in front of our daughter. "You know what I think we need?"

"What?" asked Whitley.

"Some of Daddy's cookies," whispered Alice, looking up at Edward. Mackenzie and Whitley both squealed and looked over at him.

"Ok, let's go get some," said Edward, laughing.

After bidding the others goodbye, we headed back out to the van. We got everyone buckled in and headed home. The day had been pretty damn amazing.

**So here it is. The first chapter in the Awakenings trilogy. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know by leaving me a review.**


	2. Chapter 2

EPOV

"Are you sure you can get the girls to school all by yourself?" asked Bella, slipping the black high heeled shoe onto her foot and looking up at me. I smiled from my place on the bed as I looked at my beautiful and sexy wife. I had the boys laying next to me, sound asleep.

"Yes, Bella," I smiled. "You know, I have in fact taken all four kids out all by myself before."

"I know," she said, sighing as she walked from the closet and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. She smiled as she took my hand in hers. "I just don't want you to think that we are abandoning you."

"You're not and I don't," I said, returning her smile. "Besides, you know how much I love doing all of this."

"I do," she said, smiling even bigger. She leaned down and kissed me. "Have I ever told you that I think you being a stay at home dad is incredibly sexy?"

"A few times," I smirked, kissing her again. "Around the time that Edison was conceived, in fact."

"Aw, good times," sighed Bella. "I had better get going or I am going to be late for my meeting."

"Ok, I'll see you later," I said, pecking her on the lips again. "Don't forget the girls are starting ballet tonight."

"Oh, how could I forget. They've only reminded me a hundred and one times," she said, rolling her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I laughed.

Bella walked out of our room. Normally Bella, Alice, and Jasper would be here to help get them ready but with taking yesterday off for the girls' first day of school, they had all had to rearrange some meetings. So they had breakfast meetings. Alice and Jasper had already left for theirs and Bella was dangerously close to being late.

I looked down at the two baby boys laying on the bed next to me. When Bella found out she was pregnant with Edison, I'll admit to wanting him to be mine. It might be selfish but I wanted her to have my child. Not that Jackson and Mackenzie were any less mine, because they weren't, but after watching Alice with Whitley, I knew that I wanted to experience that with Bella, too. I knew that Jasper wanted the same with Alice.

Of course, we didn't think about them getting pregnant so close together. Dealing with not one but two pregnant women was…stressful to say the least. They went through the morning sickness stage, the friskiness, the cravings. Oh, the cravings were the worse.

"_Edward," whispered Bella, shaking my shoulders. "Edward."_

"_What?" I mumbled, trying to wake up out of the deep sleep I was in. I looked over at her. She was sitting up on the bed, rubbing her belly. She was almost eight months along. "Are you ok?"_

"_Yeah, I'm fine," she said, smiling. "I'm just hungry."_

"_Ok," I said, looking at the clock. Three in the morning. "What do you want?"_

"_Um," she murmured, thinking about it. Her face broke out in the biggest smile. "Chicken."_

"_Chicken?" I asked, scrunching up my face. The smile automatically fell off her face and I felt like an ass. "I'll go get you some chicken."_

"_You don't have to," she muttered, sniffing as she struggled not to let her tears fall. _

"_I want to," I insisted. _

"_No, you don't," she cried. Of course, this woke Jasper and Alice, who was six months pregnant, up from their own peaceful sleep. They looked from Bella, who was sobbing into her hands, and over to me with rage on their faces._

"_What the hell did you say to her?" snapped Alice, sitting up and wrapping her arms around Bella. "It's ok, baby."_

"_I didn't say anything," I muttered. "She asked for some chicken."_

"_Oh, that does sound good," smiled Alice. "Get me some, too."_

"_Yes, Alice," said Jasper, giving a look that clearly said just agree already._

"_Of course, I'll go get you some chicken," I said, smiling. _

The boys started stirring so I climbed off the bed and lifted them up. I had gotten quite good at lugging the two of them around. Edison was a little bigger than Jackson but not much. With only two months difference between the two of them, they were practically twins. I carried them out of our bedroom and went over to the girls room. I pushed the door open with my foot and smiled.

My beautiful daughters were sound asleep in their beds. Mackenzie was curled up on her side. Her long blond hair splayed out around her. Whitley was laying on her back. She had her arms and legs spread, taking up as much of her bed as she could. Her auburn hair was covering half of her face. I went over to Mackenzie's bed first.

"Mack," I sang. She mumbled something inaudible. I chuckled under my breath as I shifted Edison into my other arm with Jackson. I reached down and shook her shoulders. "Mackenzie Faith, it's time to wake up."

"Not ready," she mumbled.

"I don't care," I chuckled, tickling her side. She started laughing as she climbed off the bed.

"Not fair, Daddy," she pouted, folding her little arms in front of her.

"All is fair in love and war, honey," I smirked. I shifted Edison back into my other arm and moved over to Whitley's bed. She was pretending that she was still asleep, even though she was smiling. It was all part of our morning routine. "Whit, it's time to get up."

"No," she murmured, smiling even bigger.

"Whitley Hope," I laughed, reaching over and tickling her. "Get up!"

"Daddy," she giggled, climbing out of her bed. She ran over to Mackenzie and hid behind her. "Can't find me now, Daddy."

"Oh, I bet I can," I said, laughing as I stood up.

Mackenzie and Whitley squealed as they ran from the room. Edison and Jackson were giggling with us. God, I loved mornings like this. I followed the girls downstairs and put the boys in their highchairs. Mackenzie and Whitley kept them entertained by making funny faces at them while I got them some cereal and the boys' oatmeal ready. They were such good big sisters.

They ate next to us while I fed the boys, alternating which one got the next spoonful. Once the girls were done with their breakfast, they went upstairs to get ready for school. I finished feeding the boys and gave them a bottle before lifting them out of their highchairs and taking them back upstairs to their room.

"How do I look, Daddy?" asked Mackenzie. I looked over my shoulder at her. She had on a pair of multicolor striped tights on, a denim skirt and a hot pink tank top with a white sweater on. She certainly had Alice's fashion sense, that's for sure.

"You look beautiful." I smiled as I turned back to the boys. "But do you know what would really make the outfit perfect?"

"What?" she asked. I looked back at her.

"Shoes," I laughed.

Mackenzie rolled her eyes and stalked out of the room. I could only imagine what she was going to be like at fifteen. I shuddered at the thought of that. I changed the boys out of their pajamas and into shorts and t-shirts. I picked them back up and carried them downstairs. Mackenzie was sitting on the couch, legs crossed at the knee, and her black Mary Jane's on her feet. Whitley was wearing a pair of khaki capris and a red t-shirt that had a white heart on it. She was tying her shoes, something she had worked very hard all summer to learn to do on her own. It was funny how different, yet how similar they were.

"Who is ready for school?" I asked, grabbing the boys diaper bag.

"ME!" squealed Mackenzie and Whitley. I laughed as I placed the bag on my shoulder.

"Ok, let me grab your brothers a bottle and then we are out of here. Get your backpacks on," I said, laughing.

I grabbed them each a bottle and dropped it into the diaper bag before heading back out to the living room. I followed the girls out to our van. I got the boys loaded into their car seats and made sure the girls had their seatbelts on snuggly before running around to the drivers seat and climbing in. Taking one more look to make sure we got everything, I started the van and headed off to their school.

It took us nearly twenty minutes to drive through the early morning traffic. The girls spent the entire drive singing and laughing and talking. I loved every fucking minute of it. Based on the giggles coming out of my boys, so did Edison and Jackson. I've been asked several times over the past five years or so if I like being a stay at home dad. Mostly by our parents, people from the office. Every time I tell them the same thing; this was what I was meant to do.

I loved being home with them. I still did the occasional free lance job through the company, especially when Jasper, Carlisle, and Embry were slammed with more than they could handle, but I was happiest when I was with my kids. Hearing them laughing and being happy, well, that makes every second of the hard days worth it. We definitely have more good days than bad days. I parked the van next to Rose's and climbed out.

"Morning," she said, smiling as she pulled open the side door to her van. Jonah and Jocelyn jumped out of the back.

"Morning, Rose," I said, unbuckling the girls seats belt. They hopped out and started talking with their cousins. I lifted the boys out of their seats and somehow managed to slide the door to the van shut.

"Need some help?" asked Rose.

"I've got them," I smiled. Rose and I headed across the street and into the school. Mackenzie and Whitley each grabbed onto the back pocket of my jeans when we crossed the street. "So any big plans for the day?"

"Nope," chuckled Rose, holding Jonah and Jocelyn's hands in hers as they followed us. "I will probably head down to Kate's shop for awhile this afternoon."

"That'll be nice," I said. Rose held the door open for us. "Thanks. I haven't quite figured out how to grow a third arm yet."

"You definitely need one," she teased.

I laughed as she stopped by Jocelyn's class and dropped her off. Jocelyn went right in and started telling her teacher about how Jonah let her play in his room last night. I headed down the hallway, through the horde of older children that filled the narrow pathway. I walked the girls into their classroom.

"Good morning, Mackenzie, Whitley, and Jonah" said Mrs. White, crossing the room and coming over to us.

"Morning," whispered Whitley, stepping back into me.

"Morning," muttered Jonah.

"Good morning, Mrs. White," smiled Mackenzie.

"Girls, I will pick you up after school. I love you," I said, bending over as well as I could with the boys in my arms and kissing the tops of their heads.

"Love you, Daddy," giggled Mackenzie.

"Love you, Daddy," muttered Whitley. She let Mackenzie led her over to their cubby holes. I looked over at Mrs. White, who looked…I don't know, shocked?

"She's a little shyer than her sister," I said, quietly. Mrs. White just stood there, looking at me. "I guess, we'll see you later."

Since she still didn't say anything, I turned and carried the boys out of the room. That was weird. Rose told Jonah to have a good day and followed me out. We passed Jared and Clayton as they rushed down the hallway, obviously running late, and headed out to our cars. Rose held Edison while I got Jackson loaded into his car seat.

"How'd Jonah and Jocelyn like their first day?" I asked, turning and taking Edison from her.

"Jocelyn absolutely loved it." Rose shook her head and laughed. "All she did last night was tell us stories about every kid in her class. I have a feeling Miss Henderson will have her hands full with that one."

"I'm sure she will," I agreed, smiling. "How about Jonah?"

"He seemed to like it," said Rose. "He spent most of the evening with Emmett and Garrett and watching cartoons. You know how reserved he is, though."

"He'll do better once the year starts going," I said. "Well, I had better get the boys home before they start wailing."

"Ok, Edward," snorted Rose. "I'll see you later. If you get bored, just call me."

"I don't think I remember what bored feels like," I scoffed, sliding the door to the van shut.

Rose laughed as she headed around and climbed into her car. I climbed into my van and headed back to the house. By the time we got there, both of the boys were starting to get fussy. They weren't used to being hauled around so much. I got them into the house and set them down on the floor. I laid down next to them and spent most of the morning having them crawl all over me. It was so much fun.

Around eleven, they started getting sleepy. I pulled them both up onto my chest and carried them upstairs to their room. I settled down in the rocking chair in front of their window and started rocking them back and forth. This was one of my favorite times of my day. When I just got to hold my babies in my arms and enjoy holding them. Usually Mackenzie and Whitley would sit in the hall and play while I got them down for their nap. I missed my girls.

Once they were both asleep, I laid them down in their cribs and grabbed the monitor off the shelf next to the door. I left their door open about halfway before I headed back downstairs and started a load of laundry. After I got a load of towels going, I headed back into the kitchen and started putting the casserole together for dinner tonight.

I made myself a quick sandwich for lunch and settled down at the kitchen table. I had just popped the last bit of my food into my mouth when I heard the boys wake up from their morning nap. I ran up the stairs and smiled when I saw them sitting in their cribs. I changed both of their diapers and carried them back downstairs.

I feed them some strained bananas for lunch and gave them both a bottle before taking them back into the living room. I switched on the television so we would have some background noise and settled them into the playpen. I ran back into the laundry room and switched over the laundry from the washer to the dryer and started a new load. I headed back into the living room and spent the rest of the afternoon playing on the floor with my boys.

Just before three, I changed their diapers again, gave them both a bottle, and loaded them back into the van so we could go get the girls. By the time I pulled up in front of the school they were both sound asleep. I gently lifted them out of the car, nestling them up to my chest so they could sleep more, and headed inside the school to get my daughters.

Jared and Rose were standing outside the doors, taking to quietly to each other as I came up on them. The two of them looked over at me and smiled. The three of us had gotten quite a lot closer over the last five years. After Jared and Embry adopted Clayton, he started working from home. Being a writer made it pretty for him to change his routine. He, Rose, and I hung out a lot and the let kids play.

"Hey, man, did you wear these two out?" asked Jared, placing a gentle hand on Jackson's back.

"Yeah," I whispered. "We had a busy day of crawl all over daddy."

"Aw, the best days," he smiled.

"Are the girls excited about ballet?" asked Rose.

"Oh god yes," I said, laughing softly. "Is Jocelyn?"

"Yes," smiled Rose. "She gets to take dance with the big girls, as she told us. She was bouncing off the walls."

"They'll have fun," I said, smiling. The doors to the school opened and my girls came running out. They both were smiling as they attached themselves to my legs. "Good day, girls?"

"Yep," they both squealed. I laughed softy as I looked up at Mrs. White. She was standing in the doorway to the school, shaking her head. "Is everything ok, Mrs. White?"

"Yes," she said, shortly.

"Ok," I murmured, looking over at Rose, who seemed just as confused as I did. "Then I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, goodbye," she said, stiffly.

She looked down at the girls before looking back up at me. It almost looked like she wanted to say something but decided not to as she turned and headed back into the school. Again, that was weird. I shook my head as I looked down at the girls, who didn't seem to notice the exchange between their teacher and me.

"Ok, well, we should get home and get you two a snack," I said, clearing my throat. I looked over at Rose and Jared. "See you later."

"Later, man," nodded Jared.

"We'll see you tonight," said Rose, smiling.

The girls each grabbed one of my back pockets and we headed across the street to the van. I got the kids loaded inside and headed back to the house. The boys woke up when we got home. The girls munched on some grapes while I changed the boys again and gave them a bottle. When they were done with their snack, I put the boys on the floor to play while the girls read to me.

"We're home," sang Alice, opening the front door. I looked over as she, Bella, and Jasper came into the house.

"Mommy," squealed Whitley, jumping off the couch and landing in Alice's arms.

"Well, hello to you too, sweetie," laughed Alice.

"Mommy, is it time for ballet yet?" asked Mackenzie, clamping down onto Bella's leg.

"Not quite yet," giggled Bella, lifting her up into her arms. "We have to have dinner first."

"Oh," muttered Mackenzie, dryly. "What if I'm not hungry? Can we go now?"

"Sweetie, your class doesn't start until seven," said Bella. "Now, why don't you and Whitley go pick out your tights and leotards that you want to wear. Then Mommy and I will fix your hair."

"Ok," squeaked both girls.

They ran upstairs, laughing together. Jasper went over and picked up the boys, seating them in his lap as he sat down on the couch. Alice and Bella joined us after kicking off their shoes.

"So how was today?" asked Bella, looking up at me. "Did you have any problem getting them all into the building?"

"Nope," I said, smiling. "Rose offered to help but I had everything under control. Mrs. White was acting funny though."

"How?" asked Alice, raising her eyebrow at me. "She seemed fine yesterday."

"Well, it may have just been my imagination but it seemed like she was upset by something," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "There was a look on her face."

"Hmm, maybe she just had a bad day at school or something," suggested Jasper.

"Probably," I agreed. "Anyway, everything went good. The girls have done their homework and I am going to go finish dinner."

"What are we having?" asked Bella, smiling.

"It's a new chicken recipe I found online," I explained. "It was really easy to put together and all I have to do it heat it up."

"Yummy, sounds good," giggled Alice.

The girls came running back downstairs a minute later wearing nothing but their panties. They both had a pair of pink tights and pink leotards with little skirts on them. I headed into the kitchen to finish dinner while Alice and Bella tried to get them ready for their new dance class. Once I had dinner ready, Jasper and I got the boys in their highchairs. The girls, Bella, and Alice settled down around the table and we started dinner.

The girls looked so cute with their hair pulled up into ballerina buns. They had napkins tucked into the top of their leotards so they didn't drip their dinner all over them. Alice and Bella fed the boys some strained carrots, which they both loved. After dinner, Jasper and I got the dishes loaded into the dishwasher and we once again loaded into the van. This time to take the girls to their new ballet class.

Ten minutes later, we pulled the van up in front of a large blue building with a sign that read 'Ms. Di's Dance Studio.' The girls were practically vibrating as we got them out of the car. Bella and Alice led them inside with me and Jasper following them, each with a baby in our arms. Rose, Kate, Emmett, and Garrett were already inside with Jocelyn, who was vibrating, and Jonah, who looked bored.

Ms. Di was an older woman with salt and pepper hair that was pulled up in a bun, just like the girls' hair was. You could tell that she had been a dancer in her day and still took care of her body. She smiled as she looked around at all of us.

"Good evening," she said, politely. "These two beautiful girls have to be Mackenzie and Whitley."

"Yes, ma'am," said Jasper, looking down at our girls. "Girls, this is Ms. Di. Can you tell her hi?"

"Hi," whispered Whitley.

"Hi," said Mackenzie, smiling at the woman.

"Hello," smiled Ms. Di. She looked up at all of us. "I have an observation room up the stairs if you would like to stay and watch your daughters dance."

"Thank you," said Bella, slipping her hand into mine. "We would love to."

Ms. Di smiled and led Whitley, Mackenzie, and Jocelyn into the studio with the other girls. We, along with Emmett, Rose, Kate, and Garrett headed upstairs to the observation room. It was a large room with a couple dozen chairs set up in front of the large glass windows that over looked the girls. There were a few other moms in the room that looked back and smiled at us but didn't say anything. Jonah settled in the corner with his toys while we settled down in the chairs and watched as our daughters started their first lesson.

They mostly worked on getting your feet turned out and proper stretching. Whitley seemed nervous but Ms. Di was very patient with her. It was just her personality and it was nice that Ms. Di wasn't trying to push her to be more like Mackenzie was. I often thought it was funny how even though Whitley was technically mine and Alice's daughter, she was like Bella in so many ways. She was quiet and reserved until she was comfortable. Then she would really open up and be more expressive. Mackenzie was so much like Alice. Vibrate, outgoing, and full of passion and love. I looked down at Edison and Jackson, who were playing in the floor in front of us. I wondered who they were going to be more like, me or Jasper.

"They seemed to enjoy it," commented Bella, standing up when class was over.

"They did," I smiled. "And they did good."

"Yes, they did," agreed Alice, lifting Edison off the floor while Bella picked up Jackson. "Now lets get these kids home and into bed."

We headed downstairs and thanked Ms. Di one more time for the lesson. We told Rose, Emmett, Kate, and Garrett that we would see them, Jonah and Jocelyn later and headed out to the van. We got the kids loaded in once more and headed back to the house.

By the time we got home, both the boys were sound asleep and the girls were close. We got all four of them into the house and ready for bed. Once we had tucked, kissed, and sang to all of them, the four of us headed into our bedroom. We changed into our own pajamas and climbed into our bed. I smiled as I though about the day. It had been a good one.

**Thank you for all the reviews over chapter one. Keep them coming by letting me know what you thought of chapter two. We will see what Alice has to say in the next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**APOV**

When I woke up on Wednesday, I found two sets of hands roaming over my body. I smiled, knowing that it was Jasper and Edward. I would know their hands anywhere. I moaned and pressed my body into Jasper, who was behind me, while hooking my leg over Edward, who was pressed up against me. I could feel both of their cocks, rock hard, pressing into me through the thin material that separated us.

"I need you," I murmured, slowly opening my eyes.

Edward leaned in and pressed his lips to mine while Jasper ran his hand down my side and slipped my nightgown up. He moved his fingers down to the thin silk of my panties. Moving the offensive material out of the way, he pressed his finger into me.

"Jas," I moaned, pulling my lips from Edwards. I turned and captured Jasper's lips, slipping my tongue into his mouth.

Edward pushed my nightgown further up and proceeded to assault my breasts with his lips and tongue. While he was doing that, Jasper was fucking me with his fingers. My body was already starting to shake from my coming orgasm when I felt the bed shift. Pulling my lips from Jasper's I saw Bella sitting on the end of the bed, naked and fingering herself.

"Come here," I purred, reaching for her. She smiled and shook her head no.

"I want to watch," she murmured, seductively. "I want to watch them fuck you hard, baby."

"Oh, fuck," I cried out, letting my orgasm wash over me. Hearing Bella talk dirty was such a huge turn on.

"We plan on it," whispered Jasper, pulling his fingers out of me. Bella reached out and grabbed his hand and brought his fingers to her mouth, sucking my juices off. He moaned and pushed his hips into me. "Now, I need to fuck you now."

I peeled off my nightgown and threw it on the floor. Followed closely by my panties, which had become soaked. Edward and Jasper quickly stripped off their pajama pants and boxers. I climbed onto Edward and slowly took him into my wet sex. He gripped my hips and pushed me down, filling me fully.

"Edward," I moaned.

"I know, baby, I know," he groaned.

Jasper moved behind me and started prepping my ass for him. There was a time when I hated anal sex but having them both inside of me like this was so amazing. I had really grown to love it. Jasper pulled his fingers out of me and placed the tip of his cock at my entrance. Slowly, he pushed in until he was fully sheathed inside of me.

"Oh fuck," growled Bella. I looked over my shoulder and saw her pumping her fingers in and out of her tight pussy, furiously.

"Bella," I moaned, dropping my head into Edward's shoulder.

He and Jasper started moving in and out of me, alternating strokes. I felt the bed shift again but I couldn't look back to see what Bella was doing. I was too busy enjoying the feeling of the two cocks inside of me. Jasper and Edward had their hands on my hips and breasts while they took their pleasure in my body. The bed shifted once again. I looked back to see Bella kneeling behind Jasper. She caught my eye and smiled.

"BELLA!" yelped Jasper, slamming his hips into me. "Fuck, warn a guy before you fuck his ass."

"Oh, Jas, I'm going to fuck your sweet ass now," smirked Bella, pulling back and shoving her strap on back into him.

"Oh, fuck," he growled, dropping his head in between my shoulders.

Every time Bella pushed into him, Jasper would deepen his penetration into me, causing Edward to fill me even more. I ducked my head back into Edward's neck and enjoyed the feeling of my lovers taking my body. Bella was moaning as she fucked Jasper, slamming her hips into him harder and faster. The room was filled with the sounds of our wild, impromptu fuck session. We weren't making love this morning, we were simply fucking and fucking each other hard.

"Fuck," I cried out, slamming my hand into the pillow under Edward's head as I came hard.

"Alice," growled Edward, twitching as he shot his cum inside of my pussy.

"So fucking close," groaned Jasper, pushing into me harder and harder.

"Jas, now!" ordered Bella.

"Yes," he hissed, slamming his hips into me once more and finding his release.

"Oh fucking christ," growled Bella.

Bella fell onto the bed next to us and pulled the silicon strap on off, dropping it onto the floor. Jasper gently pulled out of me and laid down next to her. I climbed off of Edward and laid down on the bed next to him. For a moment, none of us said anything. Then Jasper started laughing. Bella, Edward, and I looked over at him.

"What's so funny?" asked Bella, laying her hand on his bare chest.

"You just…" Jasper laughed as he shook his head. "Fuck, Bella, you just fucked me hard."

"Did you like it?" she asked, smiling.

"Fuck yes," he snorted. "I was just surprised. You aren't normally one to do that. Alice is."

"I know but I was watching you and Edward taking Alice and I just…I don't know. I guess I needed to fuck your ass," said Bella, smiling.

"I'm not complaining," laughed Jasper, climbing off the bed. "I'm just looking forward to doing that again."

Edward and I laughed with him and Bella as we followed them into the bathroom. We quickly showered knowing the kids would be up soon. We headed back into our room and got dressed. Bella grabbed her toy and cleaned it before putting it back up. I couldn't wait to use it next time.

While Jasper and Edward went to get the girls up, Bella and I headed into the boys room. They were sitting up in their cribs, babbling to each other. I wondered what they were saying to each other. Bella and I got the boys dressed and carried them downstairs to the kitchen. Mackenzie and Whitley were already at the table, eating their breakfast.

"Morning, Mommy," squealed Mackenzie.

"Good morning," said both me and Bella. I smiled when I looked over at her. We had gotten so used to both girls calling us mommy that it didn't matter who they were talking to anymore.

"Are you girls ready for another day of school?" asked Jasper, sitting on the other side of Whitley with his cup of coffee.

"Yeah," said Whitley, smiling. "Mrs. White told us that we get to go to the library today."

"That's cool," said Edward, placing his hand on my back. "Are you excited about reading?"

"Yeah, cause she said that if we read good, then at the end of the month we can have a party," explained Whitley.

"Reading is dumb," muttered Mackenzie, getting up from the table.

"No, it's not," said Whitley.

"Yes, it is," said Mackenzie. She put her bowl in the sink and looked back at us. "I don't want to read."

"You are just saying that cause you don't know how to read like I do," smirked Whitley.

"Whitley Hope," I gasped.

"I DON'T WANT TO READ ANYWAY," screamed Mackenzie, storming out of the room. I stood up and looked down at my daughter.

"That wasn't very nice, Whitley. You should be helping her with her reading, not making fun of her," I said, before leaving the kitchen.

Mackenzie was curled up on the couch, crying softly. I frowned as I went over and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck, sobbing into my skin. I settled down on the couch with her and held her until she calmed down.

"I'm just stupid," she muttered.

"You are not stupid," I said, softly. "You are so smart. Reading is just hard for you right now."

"But I want to read," she whined, sitting up. Her brown eyes were red and swollen. "I want to be smart like Whitley is."

"You are smart," whispered Whitley. I looked over my shoulder to see her, Bella, Edward, and Jasper standing behind us. Edward and Jasper were holding the boys and all of them were frowning. Whitley came over and climbed on the couch next to us. "I wish I was funny like you are, Mack."

"You are funny, Whit," murmured Mackenzie. "You make me laugh all the time."

"No, I don't," she said, sadly. "Not like you do."

"Uh huh," insisted Mackenzie.

"I'll help you read, if you want," suggested Whitley, looking up at her sister.

"Really?" asked Mackenzie. Whitley nodded her head. Mackenzie threw herself at Whitley, causing her laugh as she fell back onto the couch. "Thank you, sissy."

"You're welcome," giggled Whitley.

"Ok, ok, break it up," chuckled Edward. "It's time to go to school."

The girls both cheered and ran over to the door and picked up their backpacks. I guess that fight was over. Bella, Jasper, and I helped Edward get the girls and boys into the our van, a Honda Odyssey. After the boys were born, we realized that we needed something with more room. As it was, we barely fit inside of the van.

"Ok, girls, be good at school," I said, kissing them both.

"We will," they said.

After Bella and Jasper kissed them both and we all kissed the boys and Edward, we loaded up in Bella's car and headed down to the office. Twenty minutes later, Bella pulled her car up into her parking space. The three of us climbed out and headed over to the elevator. I kissed them both before heading down to my office.

I checked my email before I heading over to my crafting table and looking down at the plans that I had been working on for a new house that Seth was designing. The owners wanted what they called modern yet rustic. New yet old. I don't think either of them had a clue what in the hell they wanted.

"Knock, knock."

I froze for a split second as I heard a voice I hadn't heard in more than seven years. I turned around and snorted. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," said James Altman, leaning against the doorframe to my office. Even though I hasn't seen him in years, he still looked the same. Still as handsome and cocky as ever. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"No," I said, folding my arms across my chest. Of course, he looked down at my breasts. "My eyes are up here."

"I know," he smirked, looking up at me as he came into my office. He shut he door but I quickly crossed over and pulled it back open. "Don't you trust me?"

"No," I snorted. "What are you doing here, James?"

"Hey, Alice, do you…" Bella trailed off as she spotted the man in my office. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Wow, Swan, you've put on some weight," laughed James, leaning his ugly ass on my desk. "Still look good though."

"Get the hell out of my building," yelled Bella, crunching the paper in her hand. I crossed the room and placed my hand on her cheek.

"Calm down, baby," I murmured.

"Oh, God," groaned James. I looked over my shoulder at him. "You're still fucking her, aren't you?"

"Leave now, James," I snapped.

"I have business to do," he said.

"We don't need your business and we don't want your business," growled Bella. Fuck, that's hot.

"I think you do," he smirked. "Seeing at it would be worth millions to this place."

"We don't need your business," hissed Bella as Jasper and Carlisle came up behind her. Jasper slipped his arm around her waist.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked. James started laughing hysterically. I turned and glared at him.

"Shut up, you stupid fucker," I snapped. He shook his head as he stifled his laughter the best he could.

"Who is this guy?" asked Jasper, nodding at James. I closed my eyes as I looked back over at my husband.

"This is James Altman," I said. Jasper narrowed his eyes at him and he pulled Bella behind him. "James, this is Jasper and Carlisle."

"Oh," muttered Jasper, dryly. "Feel free to get the hell out."

"Is that anyway to talk to a potential client?" asked James, smirking again.

"We are not working with you," growled Bella from her position behind Jasper.

"Look, just hear me out," said James, putting his hands up. "I promise to play nice."

"Fine," said Bella, harshly. "But I am warning you now, James. I will not put with your shit."

"I will be good," he said, again.

I wasn't sure I believed him but it had been over seven years. James followed us down to the conference room and settled down at the table, laying a black briefcase on the table. I sat on one side of Bella while Jasper sat on her other side. Carlisle took the seat next to me, looking confused and irritated about the situation. He was such dad sometimes.

"Ok, let's hear it," said Bella, motioning for him to start.

"You should probably get your boss," suggested James.

"I am the boss," Bella gritted out. "Talk."

"Hmm, boss? Really?" asked James.

"James," I warned.

"Fine, fine. I'm sorry," he said, putting his hands up. "I am looking for a firm to handle my new store and I want you to do it."

"No," said Bella, standing up.

"You didn't even hear me out," sighed James. Bella rolled her eyes and sat back down. She waved her hand for him to continue. "I am opening up a new place down on the beach. I am looking for someone who can build what I see in my head."

"Too easy, James," snorted Bella.

"Ok, I walked into that one," he laughed before turning serious. "Ok, seriously, I'm looking to expand here to LA. I've had some success in San Francisco, Phoenix, and a few other places but this is my home and, well, I'm ready to settle down here. I want only the best to make this place what I know it can be. So I came here."

"What kind of store?" asked Bella, cocking her eyebrow at him. James pursed his lips together before he answered her.

"An adult store," he said a moment later. I burst out laughing, causing Bella to giggle. "Go ahead and laugh. I deserve it."

"Yes, you do," I snorted, shaking my head. "You are asking us to build you a porn store."

"No," he scoffed.

"Sounds like it to me," smirked Bella.

"Ok, so maybe it is but it's classy and refine. Stop laughing, Alice," chuckled James.

"Sorry," I giggled. I took a deep breath and stopped my laughter. "Sorry but really?"

"Yes," he said.

"Ok, why is that funny?" asked Jasper, harshly. I smiled as I looked over at him.

"James was the one who introduced me to the party scene," I explained to Jasper.

"Oh," said Jasper, shifting in his seat.

"Ok, James are you serious about this?" asked Bella, shaking her head. "Because we don't have time for this shit if you are just messing around with us."

"Bella, I have never been more serious," said James. He opened his briefcase and pulled out manila folder. "Look, just take a look at my proposal. If you aren't interested in it, you can tell me to go to hell and I will happily go. I know I've done wrong by the both of you in the past but I am a different man now."

"James," sighed Bella, picking the folder up. "Fine, I'll look over it but I swear to god, if you are playing a game, I will kick your ass all over this city. You know I can do it."

"I do," smiled James, standing up. He looked over to Carlisle and Jasper. "It was nice meeting you."

"Yeah, you too," scoffed Jasper. James picked up his briefcase and walked out of the conference room. I looked over at Bella.

"So what do you think?" I asked.

"I don't know," she sighed, shaking her head as she stood up. "I just don't know."

She headed down to her office while Carlisle and Jasper headed down to theirs. I sighed as I pushed away from the table and went back to work. Of all the people to come trekking into my office, it would have to be James. I settled down at my craft table and pushed all thoughts of James Altman out of my head.

Just before five, I locked up my office and met Jasper and Bella at the elevator. They were standing with Carlisle, Embry, and Seth. He was fidgeting nervously with the gold wedding band that now sat on his left hand. He and Tanya had just gotten married a few weeks go and he still wasn't used to wearing a ring.

"Hey, guys," I said, slipping my hand in with Bella's. "Is it Friday yet?"

"Not yet," laughed Bella. "This has been a long week."

"Tell me about it," snorted Embry. "Clayton has been so tired from school that he has been asleep every night by seven. I feel like I hardly get to see him anymore."

"How's he liking school?" asked Bella as we all stepped onto the elevator.

"He likes it ok," said Embry, shrugging his shoulder. "He doesn't like Mrs. White very much, though."

"Why not?" I asked, thinking about what Edward had told us about her behavior the day before.

"He says that she doesn't talk to him." Embry turned and looked at us. "Have Edward or the girls said anything?"

"Edward mentioned that she was acting strange yesterday but he thought maybe she just had a bad day. You know, trying to adjust to a new classroom and everything," said Jasper.

"Maybe," murmured Embry.

"Well, I'm sure it will all work out," sighed Carlisle as the doors opened in the parking garage. "Night all."

"Night, Carlisle, love you," I call after him.

"Love you, too, sweetheart," He calls back.

We bid Embry and Seth goodnight and climbed into Bella's car. She pulled out into traffic and we headed home. Once she had her car in the garage, we headed inside. Edward was laying on the floor with the boys crawling on him while Whitley and Mackenzie are on the couch together, reading a book. Our beautiful girls.

"What? No hug?" asked Jasper, placing his hands on his hips. The girls squealed as they jumped off the couch and into his arms. "That's better."

"How was school, girls?" asked Bella, picking Jackson up as he crawled over to her. I lifted Edison in my arms, placing a kiss to his cheek.

"It was ok," said Mackenzie. "Whitley is helping me read."

"We heard that," I smiled. "You were doing so good."

"Thanks, Mommy," she beamed.

After dinner, Bella and I bathed the girls while Edward and Jasper got the boys to bed. We tucked the girls in and kissed them both before we headed into our bedroom. Edward and Jasper were already in bed. Bella and I changed into our pajamas and climbed up between them.

"How was Mrs. White today?" asked Bella, looking over at Edward.

"The same," he said, frowning. "I don't really get it, either. She also rude to Kate and Rose when they dropped Jonah off."

"Hmm," said Jasper. "Embry said that Clayton didn't like her. That she doesn't talk to him."

"I haven't seen her talk to him yet," said Edward. "She is very standoffish."

"Should we call her on it?" asked Bella. "I don't want to cause trouble but I don't her treating the kids badly, either."

"I say lets see how the rest of this week goes," suggested Edward. "Then, if we need to, we can schedule a meeting with her next week."

"Sounds like a plan," agreed Jasper.

"Ok, sounds good," said Bella, agreeing with him and Jasper.

"Yeah, let's just hope something changes," I added.

**Thank you for all the reviews. For those of you who don't know who James is, don't worry. He was Alice's ex-boyfriend in Lustful Awakenings. She dumped his ass after he hit on Bella at William and Catherine's anniversary party. **


	4. Chapter 4

**BPOV**

By Friday, we had fallen into a pretty easy routine. We would get up, get the kids ready, help Edward with breakfast, and load the kids up into the van so he could take them to school. He seemed to love it more and more everyday. It was one of the things that I loved the most about Edward. He took to being a stay at home dad with finesse and gusto. He was amazing with the kids and didn't care if society told him that as a man, he should be the one working. Since when did we care about what society tells us, anyway. I saw how much Whitley, Mackenzie, Edison, and Jackson loved their daddy every time they looked up at him.

The only thing that was concerning us was Mrs. White. Edward told us yesterday that she was standoffish and rude to him, Rose, and Jared. He suggested that he take the boys over to Renee and Charlotte this morning so he could go volunteer in their classroom. I think he wanted a first hand view of what was going on because the girls were telling us nothing except that Mrs. White wasn't speaking to them. Edward wanted to see if it was something we needed to be concerned about or if we were overreacting and just needed to give the woman a chance to adjust to a new class full of kids. I wasn't as sure as Edward was but I was willing to let it go and give her the benefit of the doubt. I really didn't want to have to kick the old woman's ass for messing with my girls.

So here I was sitting at my desk in my office on Friday afternoon, staring at James' proposal again. I wasn't sure we should go into business with the man who did everything he could to steal Alice from me, even if at the time I didn't think there was an Alice and me. James had always had a problem with mine and Alice's friendship. Of course, then he hit on me during William and Catherine's thirtieth wedding anniversary and Alice finally told him to fuck off.

_I was standing in front of the bar, sipping on my second glass of champagne and completely bored out of my fucking mind, when James came over and leaned against the bar next to me. It was obvious that Alice had dressed him tonight seeing as he was wearing a suit that actually fit him for a change. Just thinking about Alice brought a smile to my face. _

"_Can I get you another glass?" asked James, thumping his finger against the glass in my hand._

"_No," I sighed, looking away from him. "Shouldn't you be with Alice?" _

"_She is in the ladies room," he said, smiling as he pulled the flute out of my hand and grabbed my hand with his other one. "Dance with me."_

"_No," I snorted, pulling my hand out of his. "You know I don't dance, James."_

"_Just dance one time with me," he said, nearly begging me._

"_No," I said again. _

_I turned and headed out of the ballroom and out onto the patio. The air was cool but not cold. It was warm inside and I needed to cool off a bit. I heard the doors close behind me and I looked back to see James, standing there with a smirk playing on his lips. I rolled my eyes as I looked back over the courtyard._

"_You know, Bella," said James, coming up behind me and pressing his body against mine. I automatically tensed up as I felt his hands on my hips, pulling on the chocolate brown silk dress I was wearing. "You look beautiful tonight but then you always look beautiful."_

"_James," I said, trying to push him off if me. He tightened his grip on my hips, stilling my movements. _

"_I've watched you fucking her all night with your eyes, Bella," hissed James. He brought his lips down onto my neck, suckling hard. "You know, what? She's been fucking you back. Why is that?"_

"_Get the fuck off of me," I snapped._

"_I can't help but wonder, Bella, how it would feel to be buried deep inside of you," mused James, ignoring me. _

"_Too fucking bad you won't find out," growled Alice. James stepped away from me and I turned to see her standing just outside the closed doors. The look on her face was fierce. She looked over at me and her expression softened. "Are you ok? Did he hurt you?"_

"_I didn't hurt her," scoffed James. "We-"_

"_Shut the fuck up," hissed Alice, interrupting him, She moved over to me and placed her hand on mine. "Are you ok?"_

"_I'm fine," I whispered. Alice smiled at me before she turned back to her loser boyfriend. Her expression once again hardened. "Feel free to leave, you asshole. Don't worry about your shit. I'll make sure to burn it for you."_

"_Alice," said James. "Honey, she hit on me."_

"_I heard you, James," spat Alice. "Bella wouldn't have done that to me anyway. Now, get the fuck out of here before I call hotel security and have them drag your ass out of here." _

"_Alice," sighed James, shaking his head. "Fine, I didn't want a dyke for my girlfriend anyway."_

_James turned and walked back into the ballroom, letting the door hit him on the ass. Alice turned and looked back at me, bringing her hand up to my face. "Are you sure you are ok? He didn't bring back any…feelings about him, did he?" she asked._

"_No," I murmured, knowing she was talking about Jacob. "He just put his grimy hands on my dress. What do you think we should do about that?"_

"_Hmm," smiled Alice, leaning into me. "I think you should take it off as soon as we get up to your room."_

"_Me too," I murmured._

"Earth to Bella," sang Alice.

I smiled as I looked up at her. She was standing in the door to my office, looking extremely sexy in a black pencil skirt that hugged her tight, toned body and a red silk blouse. She was wearing my favorite pair of fuck me pumps, black patent leather with a four inch heel. They made her even more sexy than she already was.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, stepping inside and shutting the door behind her. "You looked like you were in another place or time."

"I was," I smiled. "I was thinking about your parents anniversary party."

"Oh," she said, sitting down across from me. "Which part?"

"All of it," I sighed. "But I was just thinking about how we spent all night locked in my room, ravaging each other."

"Aw, good times," smiled Alice. "We almost got caught. Do you remember?"

"Yes," I laughed. "You and I were trying to get to the elevator but you couldn't seem to keep your hands off of me. Just as you pressed me up against the wall outside of the ballroom and slid your hand up my thigh, Charlie came out. I thought for sure he would have known that you were taking advantage of me."

"Me?" she gasped, shaking her head. "No, it was you who was taking advantage of me. You were the one who told me that you were planning on burying your face in my pussy and living there. How could I let that pass?"

"I'd still like to do that, you know," I smirked, standing up.

I went over and locked my office door before sauntering over to Alice, dropping down onto my knees in front of her. She was watching me with hooded eyes and lust that was etched all over her face. I gripped her knees in my hands and pulled her legs apart, roughly. Alice gasped but didn't say anything as I pulled her down so that she was hanging off the edge of her chair.

I ran my hands up her legs slowly, letting my fingers push her skirt up. I finally reached her warm center and I couldn't stop the moan from slipping between my lips. The crotch of her black lace panties was soaked and I could smell how aroused she was. I looked back up at her as I gripped the sides of her panties. Alice smiled as she lifted her hips up, allowing me to pulled them off and drop them on the floor. I leaned back and started kissing and sucking my way up her leg until I reached the outside of her wet sex. Smirking to myself, I moved over and started kissing my way up her other leg.

"Bella," moaned Alice. "Stop teasing me!"

"Shhh, lover," I smiled. "Can't be too loud."

"Baby, please," she begged. I wasted no more time as I leaned in and licked her slit from top to bottom. "Oh, Bella, more. Please, more."

I gripped Alice's thighs in my hands and pushed her legs apart even more as I buried my face into her pussy, thrusting my tongue deep into her. Alice slammed her hand down on the arm of her chair while suppressing the moan that was playing on her lips. I pushed my tongue even deeper into her, letting my nose run across her clit. Alice was panting and gasping for air. She moved one of her hands to the back of my hair, fisting my brown hair into her hands as she shifted her hips to meet my tongue. .

I could feel her body beginning to shake as her orgasm started building. I slid my hand up her leg and slipped two fingers into her tight pussy. Even after giving birth to two babies, she was still so fucking tight. Alice moaned my name as I leaned up and pulled her swollen clit between my lips and sucked hard.

"Bella," she muttered, clenching around my fingers as she came.

I leaned back down and lapped up every drop that my girl was giving me, savoring the taste of her sweet nectar. Once I had licked her dry and cleaned every bit of her off my fingers, I leaned up and kissed her, letting her taste just how amazing she did on my lips and tongue. After a moment, she fell back into her chair, panting once again.

"Jesus, Bella," she gasped. "That was…fucking incredible."

"Thank you," I smirked, standing up. I bent over and picked up her panties off the floor. Smirking, I shoved them into my pocket.

"Can I have my panties back?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Nope," I said, smiling. "I'm giving them to Jasper."

"Jasper?" she asked, standing up and shoving her skirt back down. "Why?"

"Because I feel like teasing him," I said, shrugging my shoulders as I moved back around and sat down behind my desk.

"You are kind of evil, baby," laughed Alice, heading over to the door. "Beautiful and sexy but evil."

"I love you, too," I giggled.

"Love you," she sang, unlocking the door and leaving my office.

I smiled as I looked down at the proposal that was sitting on my desk. As much as I did not like James, I knew that we had to do this. It would be a big project for our firm and it would open other doors to us with other business owners who were looking to expand. The only problem was, was that everyone else was already swamped. Carlisle, Jasper, and Embry were working on ten different projects between the three of them and their teams. Seth and his team had twice as much work on their plate. That really only left me and I wasn't sure I wanted to work on this with James. I really did not like that man.

"Hey, Beautiful," said Jasper. I looked up at him. "Ali said you wanted to see me."

I smirked as I stood up and walked over to him. I pulled out her panties and placed them in his hand as I leaned up and said, "I thought you might like to hold onto these for me."

"Bella," he growled, clenching onto them tightly as he pushed me into the doorframe. He pressed his body against mine and said, "Have you and Ali been playing without me?"

"No," I smiled, bringing my hand down to his hard cock. "I just fucked her with my tongue."

"Not nice to tease," he murmured, pulling on my bottom lip with his teeth. "Maybe I should punish you."

"Maybe," I moaned, putting my hand up on his chest. I pushed him away. "But I have a meeting with Seth and you have work to do, lover."

"Bella," he growled again and my panties were officially ruined.

"Later," I purred, sliding out from under him and walking down the hallway.

I heard him mutter under his breath about me teasing him. Something told me that tonight was going to be an exciting night for me. I walked down to Seth's office and knocked on his door. He hollered for me to come in and I pushed open the door. Seth was sitting behind his desk, working on a stack of papers and looking tired.

"Hey, is now a good time?" I asked.

"Sure," he said, smiling as he set his pen down. "I've about had it with all this paperwork."

"Try being me," I said, giving him a look as I shut the door to his office. I went over and sat down. "I have about four times the amount of paperwork that you have."

"But that's why you are the boss and I am not," he smirked. "What can I do for you today?"

"Straight to the point, eh?" I asked, laughing. "Ok, I received a phone call from Ben last night. He and Angela are looking to build their own house and want us to design it. I thought that maybe you might like to take his account."

"Why me?" asked Seth, raising an eyebrow. "Why aren't you doing it?"

"Well, for one thing, I have a company to run and it looks like I am fixing to take on a rather large, irritating project of my own. You and Ben get along and he loves your work. Plus, I know that you will make sure to give them what they want and make it the perfect place."

"Hmm," hummed Seth, folding his hands together and placing them under his chin. "When can they come down and met with me?"

"They can't," I said, smiling at him. "Angela is just starting a new school year and Ben has five different projects going. I thought maybe you and Tanya could go up and see them," I suggested.

"Bella," groaned Seth, rubbing his face with his hands. "I know what you are doing."

"I am not doing anything but offering you a fantastic account with a dear friend," I said, defending myself.

"Whatever, Bella," snorted Seth. "Ok, I'll talk to Tanya and see if or when she can take some time off. I'll let you know next week."

"Thank you, Seth," I said, standing up. "I'll just let you get back to your paperwork now."

"Gee, thanks," he snorted.

I laughed as I left his office and headed down to my own. I settled back down behind my desk and looked down at the proposal that was still sitting there. Stupid James for coming in here and offering us such a good account. I closed the proposal and shoved it into my desk drawer. I would deal with it next week. I turned and started working on the stack of budget reports I had and pushed James and his account out of my head.

Just before five, I gathered all my stuff together and headed down to the elevator to meet Jasper and Alice. He scowled at me while Alice was smiling. I couldn't help but smile as I joined them. Jasper gripped my hips in his hands and pulled me up to his body, bringing his lips down to my ear. I could feel his breath on my neck. My panties dampened and I got bit back my moan.

"I hope you are prepared to pay for that little game, Isabella," he murmured, nipping at my earlobe.

"I am," I moaned, shuddering against him. Jasper pulled back and looked down at me.

"We'll see, lover," he smirked.

The doors to the elevator opened, causing me to jump. Jasper and Alice both laughed as I followed them in. Definitely going to be a long night but a fun one for sure. The three of us loaded into my car and headed back home. Jasper kept his hand on my thigh, drawing lazy circles up and my leg. I tried my hardest to ignore him but I couldn't. He was just too damn sexy.

I pulled my car up into the garage and climbed out. Jasper wrapped an arm around mine and Alice's waists as we headed into the house. All three of us had smiles on our faces as we walked inside. My smile faded when I saw Edward pacing back and forth in the living room, deep in thought and cursing under his breath.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked. He stopped and looked over at us. "Where are the kids?"

"They are with Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Catherine. They are spending the night," said Edward. "We have a problem."

"What?" asked Alice.

"Mrs. White," said Edward. "She is not only ignoring the kids, but she is isolating them from everyone. Mack, Whit, Jonah, and Clay all sit at a table in the back of the room away from the other kids. Every time she asked a question, she made the point to turn her back on them. I would have questioned her but I didn't want to do it in front of the kids."

"That bitch," I muttered. "Why is she acting like this?"

"I would gather that she has a problem with our unconventional family," sighed Jasper, running his hands through his hair. "I suspected as much when you first told us how she behaved the first day you took the girls to school alone, Edward. After the look on her face when Embry and Jared dropped Clay off on the first day, it would appear that Mrs. White has an issue with families that aren't traditional."

"Well, too fucking bad," I snapped. "She has no right to treat the kids like this. I don't care if she is bigot. The girls deserve better than that and so do Jonah and Clayton."

"Ok, calm down, Bella," said Alice, placing her hand on my shoulder. I took a deep breath as I tried to calm down. Sometimes I still had trouble dealing with stupid. "So what are we going to do about this?"

"I set up a meeting between us and Mrs. White for nine Monday morning," sighed Edward. "I wasn't sure if I should take it straight to the principal or not. I mean, I don't want to cause trouble but I will not put up with the kids getting treated like that because she is a tight-assed bitch."

"Ok, we'll clear our schedules for Monday so we can come in with you," said Jasper, agreeing with him. He looked around at all of us and smirked. "So we have the house to ourselves, right?"

"Yes," said Edward, smiling. Jasper looked right at me and smiled.

"Good," he said, smirking as his eyes raked over my body. I shivered in anticipation. "Because someone was naughty today."

"Oh, really?" asked Edward, moving over and wrapping his arms around our lover. "What did she do, lover?"

"She fucked Ali and teased me with her panties," smiled Jasper. "I think she needs to be punished."

"Me too," murmured Edward, sliding his hand down Jasper's chest. "Shall we start now?"

"Fuck, yes," moaned Jasper.

Without warning, Edward and Jasper came at me, trapping my body between theirs. I moaned as I felt them hardening against me. Jasper roughly yanked my shirt off while Edward ran his hands down my sides, until he reached the button on my black pants. He pulled the button and lowered the zipper before snaking his hand inside and cupping me.

"You are so wet, love," he murmured, pressing his lips along the side of my neck. "Are you enjoying this?"

"Yes," I moaned, feeling his fingers toying with my wet folds. "Please."

"Please, what?" asked Edward. "What do you want?"

"You," I gasped. Once Jasper had my bra off, he sucked my nipple into his mouth and bit down hard. "JAS!"

"You've been naughty, Bella," said Jasper, twisting my nipple between his fingers. He knew exactly what I liked. "It's not nice to tease me like you did. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes," I murmured.

"I think you need to get on your knees, beautiful," whispered Jasper, leaning in and nipping on my earlobe again. "Now."

I didn't question him as I dropped to my knees between my husbands. I could see Alice, propped up on the end of the coffee table, skirt snaked up around her waist, and her fingers buried deep inside of her pussy. Jasper undid his pants and pushed them and his boxers down in one quick move. I gripped his cock in my hand and engulfed him in my mouth, letting him hit the back of my throat.

"Fuck, Bella," growled Jasper, grabbing onto the back of my head. He started thrusting his cock in and out of my mouth, truly fucking me orally. "God, your mouth feels so fucking good."

"Holy shit, Ali," moaned Edward. I peeked over and saw Alice on her knees in front of Edward, taking him in and out of her mouth just as I was with Jasper. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

I turned back to Jasper, trying to take him deeper into my throat every time. He was moaning more and more. His hand was fisted tightly in my hair and I loved the feeling of pain of his hair pulling to the pleasure of having him in my mouth. It was almost enough to make me cum. I relaxed my throat even more and took him down into my throat, swallowing around him.

"Oh, fuck" he groaned, pushing me off of him. "I don't want to cum in your mouth. I want to be in that sweet pussy of yours."

I stood up and kicked my pants and panties off so that they were laying with my shirt and bra. Jasper stripped off the rest of his clothes and bent me over the back of the couch. He positioned himself against me and thrust into me in one quick move.

"OH FUCK!" I cried out, feeling him fill me fully. "Don't stop. Please don't fucking stop!"

"I'm not stopping, baby," he grunted, pulling back just to slam back into me. "I've been thinking about this all fucking afternoon. God, your pussy is so damn amazing, Beautiful."

Edward pulled Alice up by one arm and pulled her over to the couch. He sat down and pulled her against him so that her back was against his chest. He lined himself up to her pussy and plunged inside of her. Alice leaned forward and started riding him, hard and fast. Jasper slapped my ass as he pounded into me.

"JAS!" I yelled, pushing into him.

"That's for fucking my ass the other morning," he grunted. I didn't have to look back at him to know that he was smirking. He smacked my ass again. "That was for teasing me today."

"So close, Jas," I begged. I could feel my orgasm sitting right there, waiting to fall. "Please, let me cum."

"Cum for me now," he growled, slamming into me as he shoved his finger into my ass.

"YES, FUCKING, YES!" I screamed, convulsing around him.

"That's it, baby, that's it," he grunted, pounding into me once, twice, a third time before he erupted inside of me, filling me completely. "FUCK!"

Jasper and I rode out our orgasms before sliding to the floor, panting as we struggled to catch our breaths. Alice and Edward both came together a few minutes later, moaning each other's names and calling out to God. Jasper looked over at me and smiled.

"Now, are you ever going to tease me like that again?" he asked, lazy smile resting on his lips.

"If that's the punishment I get for teasing you, lover, then I will be doing it every fucking day," I smirked.

"Me too," laughed Alice, looking over the back of the couch at us. "Me too."

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews. I apologize for the delay on this chapter but those of you who are reading my new story, Away From The Sun, know why. Because it took me so long to get this up, I gave you all an extra juicy lemon, or two. Enjoy!**


	5. Chapter 5

EPOV

Monday morning came around much quicker than I had been expecting. We had spent all of Friday night just enjoying having the house to ourselves. We loved our kids but we didn't often get time to just fuck anytime we wanted, or as loud as we wanted, either. It was nice to just be able to let loose again and worship each other.

When Bella and I went to pick up the kids from Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte's on Saturday morning, we explained about our problem Mrs. White. They were all just as appalled we were that she was treating the kids like that. It was one thing to treat the four of us like lepers, we were used to it because of our relationship, but to treat our kids, any of our kids, like that was simply unacceptable. They even insisted on watching the boys for us again while the four us went to deal with Mrs. White.

We hadn't been home an hour when William, Catherine, Carlisle, and Esme were standing at our door with equally pissed off looks on their faces. William and Catherine, being lawyers, were going on and on about what type of legal action we could take against her and the school. Alice finally yelled at them to shut the fuck up and let us talk to her before they started drawing up the lawsuit. Carlisle assured Bella he would handle the office staff meeting for her while she was gone for the morning. Relinquishing control of her company, even to my father, was still a struggle for Bella. It probably always would be since for so long that was the only part of her life she felt one hundred percent in control of.

Sunday, we had Emmett, Rose, Garrett, Kate, Embry, and Jared over. The kids played in the backyard most of the afternoon while we sat around the kitchen discussing Mrs. White and what needed to be said.

"We have to make sure that when we go in there that we don't just start screaming that she is a bitch," said Jasper, giving Bella a look.

"What was that look supposed to mean, Jas?" asked Bella, cocking her eyebrow.

"It means that your temper is going to need to be rained in, Beautiful," smiled Jasper, winking at her. Bella rolled her eyes but smiled. How could she not when Jasper was openly flirting with her?

"Fine, I will do my best," said Bella, getting up to get us some more coffee. "But if she smarts off or is rude, I can't promise that I won't jump over the table and beat her ass. I don't care if she is old."

"Almost wish I could see that," smirked Embry, smiling as Bella refilled his cup. "A little ninja Bella."

"She would never see it coming from me," laughed Bella, as she set the coffee pot in the middle of the table and sat down. "Seriously, it's one thing to disagree with us on our lifestyle but to take it out on children. I mean, it's not like we all fuck in front of them or anything."

"Some people just don't see outside of the box," sighed Jared, placing his arm on the back of Embry's chair. "Embry and I have been together for seven years and people still act like we aren't in a serious, committed relationship."

"Which is ridiculous," said Emmett, shaking his head from his seat next to Garrett. He had his arm on the back of Garrett's chair. "I mean, you both are successful, hardworking men who are raising your son to be open minded and people dare second guess your relationship."

"That might be the deepest thing Emmett's ever said," mused Alice, smiling at her big brother.

"Shut up, Alice," he muttered.

"I'm just teasing you, you big oaf," laughed Alice, while the rest of us were chuckling. "But you have a point. How many kids today are being dragged from parent to another every weekend. It doesn't make their moms and dads any less of their parents just because they don't live in the same house. Why should it make a difference that Bella, Edward, Jasper, and I do. Our girls are sweet, caring people. Our boys will be the same. It's just wrong."

"Well, hopefully, you can talk some sense into her," added Rose. "Jonah doesn't like school anyway, then you add a bitch like her making it even harder for him. How is he supposed to enjoy learning when he has to be made to feel like he is a freak?"

"Maybe you should be their teacher, Rose," smiled Bella.

"If the situation doesn't get better, I may start home-schooling him and Jocelyn," said Rose.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yes," said Rose, nodding her head. "I think kids need to be with other kids and school offers them the chance to socialize with those outside of their comfort zone but I will take them both out and teach them myself if I have to."

"Here's hoping you don't have to," I said, smiling at my sister in law.

"You know, we don't have this problem with Jocelyn's teacher," sighed Kate. "Ms. Kennedy pulled me aside on Thursday and asked me straight out what our relationship was. I explained it to her and she smiled as she said that she was curious after Jocelyn talked about her mommies and daddies making cupcakes the night before. But she never acted like she had a problem with it."

"Good, at least one of our kids isn't being taught by bitch," quipped Bella.

The four of us agreed to keep Rose, Emmett, Kate, Garrett, Jared, and Embry in the loop about how our meeting goes. They all offered to come with us but we felt it would be better if we handled this privately and, then if she didn't get a new attitude, they could set up their own meetings and we would give her the verbal beat down of her old life.

"Where's Bella?" I asked, walking out of the kitchen with Edison. Jasper and Alice were on the couch, packing up the boys' diapers back so we could drop them off with their grandmothers.

"Um, she was changing Jackson," said Jasper, looking back at me. "Messy diaper."

"Ah," I said. I turned and headed upstairs. Bella was standing in front of the changing table in the boys' room, laughing with Jackson as she changed his diaper. "I love watching you with the kids."

"Yeah?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at me. "Why is that?"

"Because you make funny faces," I smirked. Bella rolled her eyes as she looked down at Jackson.

"Your daddy is silly, Jack," she laughed. Jackson giggled as he reached up for her. "You think he's silly, too, don't you?"

"He does," I agreed as Bella picked him up. She turned and looked back at us. "He and Edison tell me at least ten times a day how silly I am."

"They can't talk besides a few grunts and some babbling," snorted Bella, moving over to me and Edison.

"It's the way they look at me," I said, seriously. Bella smiled as she leaned in and kissed me.

"You, my love, are a little crazy," she murmured.

"Am not," I whispered, wrapping my free arm around her waist and pulling her closer to me. I pressed my lips down onto her, harder than she had kissed me. I pulled back and looked down at her. She looked a little out of it. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, pretty sure I saw stars," she mused.

I laughed as I followed her out of the room. We headed downstairs to the living room. Alice and Jasper had the boys bags ready so we loaded them back into the car and headed over to the Swan/Whitlock house. I had taken the girls to school this morning and confirmed with Mrs. White about our meeting with her at nine. She simply nodded her head and went about her way. Something told me this wasn't going to be the happy meeting we were hoping for.

I pulled the van up in front of their house and we got the boys out. We carried them into the house and handed them to their grandmothers, who proceeded to smother them with wet kisses. Both of the boys giggles and squirmed in Renee and Charlotte's arms. Jasper and I set their diaper bags next to the front door and looked back at Renee and Charlotte.

"We shouldn't be too long," I said. "We really appreciate you keeping the boys."

"Well, it's a struggle, you know," laughed Renee, rolling her eyes.

"Don't worry about a thing," smiled Charlotte. "Just get that woman straightened out before we have to get involved."

"We will, Mom," chuckled Jasper.

Alice, Bella, Jasper, and I loaded up into the van and headed down to the girls school. I wasn't looking forward to this meeting at all and I was afraid that it was going to get ugly. I knew we had to do something about her but nobody wants to be the parents who causes trouble at the school all the time. It wasn't the best way to get off to a new school year.

I parked in the van in the parking lot and we headed into the school. We stopped by the office and picked up visitors slips before we headed down to Mrs. White's classroom. She was sitting behind her desk, hunched over a stack of papers when I knocked on the door. She looked up and let her eyes roam over the four of us before she stood up.

"Well, come on in," she said, shortly. The four of us stepped into the classroom, pulling the door shut behind us. Mrs. White gestured to a small round table for us to sit at. We took our seats and looked up at her as she sat on the other side of the table. "What can I do for you today? As I'm sure you can imagine, I'm very busy."

"We understand that, Mrs. White," I said, smiling. "We have some concerns that we believe need to be addressed sooner rather than later."

"What concerns are those?" she asked, bluntly as she folded her hands on her lap.

"Well, quite the frankly, we don't like the way you are treating the girls," said Bella, matching the undertone in Mrs. White's voice. I reached over and placed my hand on top of my wife's, trying to keep her from getting too upset. Mrs. White looked down at our hands and shook her head.

"Which girl is yours, Mrs. Cullen?" she asked, harshly. "From the way that Whitley and Mackenzie talk, it's hard to know which one is your daughter and which one belongs to the other Mrs. Cullen."

"That would be because I am both of their mother," said Bella, shortly. "Just as Alice is. It's clear to us that you have a problem with that."

"I have a problem with the fact that you are raising those girls in a house full of debauchery," argued Mrs. White.

"There is nothing wrong with the way we are raising our children, Mrs. White," snapped Jasper. He shifted in his seat so that he was turned towards me, Bella, and Alice. "Our girls, and our boys for that matter, live in a loving, caring home with parents who love them very much."

"You live in a house full of sin," she hissed, standing up. Yep, this was going to get ugly. "Do you have any idea what you are teaching them?"

"We are teaching them to be open minded and caring people who don't judge others," said Alice, standing up. "You are teaching them that they are freaks. My girls don't understand why you are ignoring them and treating them like they are invisible."

"I am doing no such thing," scoffed Mrs. White.

"Yes, you are," I said, standing up and wrapping my arm around Alice's waist to calm her down. "While I was here on Friday, you never once asked them a question. You never once even looked back at them. They love school and you are making it impossible for them to grow."

"It will stop now or I will make it my priority to see that you never teach in this city again," said Bella, standing up. Jasper stood up and placed his hand on the small of her back. "Trust me, I can make that happen. That goes for treating all of the kids fairly because from what I am hearing, you aren't treating Jonah or Clayton any better. Both of those boys are a part of our family and I will go to the ends of the earth for them."

"You can't threaten me, Mrs. Cullen," snapped Mrs. White.

"No, but I can."

The four us turned and saw an older man with salt and pepper hair, leaning against the doorframe to Mrs. White's room. He had an aggravated look on his face as he pushed off and joined us.

"I've made it clear to you, Mrs. White, that your prejudices were not welcomed in my school," said the man. "I will be watching you and your students very closely, as I'm sure the Cullen's here will be. You have been warned for the last time."

"Yes, sir," muttered Mrs. White. She looked at the four of us. "I apologize."

"It's not us you should be apologizing to us," I quipped. "You should be apologizing to our daughters."

"She will," said the man, looking at Mrs. White. "Won't you?"

"Of course," she said, shortly.

"Good," smiled the man. He looked around at us. "May I have walk you out to your car?"

"Um, sure," I said.

Bella, Alice, Jasper, and I followed the man out of the classroom and out into the hallway. He shut the door to Mrs. White's classroom and led us down the hall with a word. In fact, he didn't say a word as he walked us out of the school and to where I van was parked. He turned and looked at us, smiling softly.

"I would like to apologize personally for Mrs. White's treatment of your girls and Jonah McCarty and Clayton Call," he said.

"Who are you?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"I'm sorry," he laughed. "I'm Phil Dwyer. I'm the principal here."

"I'm Edward," I said, nodding at him. "This is Bella, Alice, and Jasper."

"It's nice to meet you all," he said, smiling as he looked around at us. "Again, I would like to apologize for her."

"You shouldn't be apologizing for her, Mr. Dwyer," said Bella. "She's old enough to deal with her own messes."

"Please call me, Phil," he said, softly. "You are right but unfortunately, she's an old bat who is rather set in her ways but I promise you this, I will be watching her very closely. If I suspect that she is mistreating them, any of them, I will handle it swiftly."

"I hope so," said Bella, shaking her head. "Because I really don't want to have to deal with this myself. It won't be pretty."

"I'm sure it won't," agreed Phil. "Anyway, I had better get back to work. Please, let me know if I can do anything else for you."

"Thank you, we will," said Jasper.

Phil turned and headed back into his school. I shared a look with my lovers. Here's hoping that he would actually keep his word to us.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I'm sorry for the delay but, well, I've just had a long week. More to come soon, I hope.**


	6. Chapter 6

**BPOV**

After picking up the boys from the grandmas and dropping them and Edward off at the house, Alice, Jasper and I headed to the office. Our meeting with Mrs. White had gone just as I had expected it to, with the exception of Phil coming to our defense like he had. I was hoping that he would be able to keep an eye on the old bat because I was already one stupid remark from beating her ass and I really didn't want to beat her ass.

As soon as we stepped off the elevator, Embry and Carlisle were ushering the three of us into my office and throwing questions at us. It was amusing to see how worked up both men were to how she had been treating all of our children. Carlisle thought of Clayton as one of his just as everyone else did. I shared a look with Alice and Jasper before I said anything.

"One at a time," I said, putting my hand up.

"How'd it go?" asked Carlisle.

"Did you kick her ass?" asked Embry, eagerly. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head.

"No, Embry, I did not kick Mrs. White's ass," I said. "She's old."

"So?" he asked. "She's a bitch."

"That she is," snorted Alice.

She quickly told them about our meeting with the old bat and every word that she said, including how we were raising our children in a house full of debauchery. I mean who in the hell uses a word like debauchery anymore. I was starting to question her qualifications as a teacher. As Alice told them about Phil intervening on our behalf and making it clear to the old woman that she had better watch her step, both Carlisle and Embry's mouths fell open. I guess they were just as shocked as we were.

"He seriously told her to straighten her ass out or else?" asked Embry.

"Well, not in those exact words," I said, smiling at him, "but that was the gist of it."

"Hmm, well, that was nice of him," chuckled Carlisle. He sighed and shook his head. "Let's just hope that she listens to him because that shit is wrong."

"Here's hoping," I muttered, moving over behind my desk and turning on my computer. "How'd the staff meeting go this morning?"

"It went great," said Carlisle, smiling. "Felt kind of good to be in the bosses seat again."

"Too bad you aren't the boss anymore, though," I smirked and looked up at him. "I told you that you shouldn't have given your company to me."

"That you did," he laughed, heading over to my office door. "I left the budget reports, zoning applications, and plans that need to be reviews on your desk so you can do your job, Boss."

"Thank you so much, Carlisle," I said, sardonically.

"Anytime, sweetheart," he laughed, walking out of my office. Embry and Jasper both laughed as they followed the man out of my office.

"What a jerk," snorted Alice, closing my office door and looking back at me. "Good thing we like him."

"I know, right?" I asked, shaking my head as I sat down behind my desk. I pulled out the proposal from James.

"Are you going to do it?" she asked, sitting down in front of my desk. I looked up at her. "Are you going to take on James' account?"

"Yes," I sighed, laying the folder on my desk. "I don't want to but it could open up a whole new market for us. It'll be good for the company."

"True," she said, nodding her head. "But what if he tries something again?"

"Then I will kick his ass," I smiled. I moved over and sat in the chair next to Alice. "Baby, I will not let that asshole destroy us. You, me, Edward, and Jasper have been through a hell of a lot and James is nothing."

"I know you're right but I would feel better about you not working with him alone," said Alice, grabbing my hand. "I know that everyone is busy but maybe you could see if Edward would be willing to work with you on it."

"He's kind of busy being super dad," I sighed, leaning back in my chair.

"He would make the time to do this with you," said Alice, standing up. "Just think about asking him."

"I will," I smiled. "I had better get to work."

"Me too," laughed Alice. "I am already behind."

"I am, too."

Alice left and I went to work, pushing all thoughts of James and his project out of my head. She was right about me talking to Edward about him helping with this project. It was just that he was so busy with the kids that I didn't want to add to his already full plate but maybe it was better than working with James by myself. I really didn't like James.

I was about halfway through the weeks budget reports when there was a knock on my office door. I yelled for whoever was outside my door to come in and looked over as Seth pushed my door open.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked.

"No, come on in," I said, smiling. Seth shut the door behind him and sat down in front of my desk. "So what's up?"

"I talked to Tanya about heading up to Forks and meeting with Ben and Angela about their house. She said she would love to, so I guess we are off to Forks soon," explained Seth, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"That's great." I smiled and leaned back in my seat. "When were you thinking about going?"

"Maybe this weekend," he muttered. "Tanya has Friday and next Monday off so I was thinking we could make a four day weekend of it."

"Hmm." I nodded my head and suppressed my smile. "Ok, I'll get flights for you and Tanya set up and a hotel reserved for you."

"Ben and Angela said we could stay with them," said Seth, looking anywhere other than at me. I couldn't help but smile. "You know for the sake of saving the company money."

"Of course," I said, waving my hand around. "How considerate of him and Angela."

"Yeah, so I'll be back on Tuesday," muttered Seth, standing up.

"Ok, Seth," I laughed as he walked out of my office. "It's only a matter of time."

I spent the rest of the afternoon finishing up the budget reports and starting on the stack of zoning applications that needed to be filed as soon as possible. Sometimes being the boss really fucking sucked. Just before five, I gathered up all my stuff and headed down to the elevator to meet Jasper and Alice. They weren't there yet but Jessica and Eric were. He was leaning against the wall next to her, rubbing her belly that was popping out.

"Hey, how are you feeling, Jessica?" I asked, joining them.

"I'm tired and fat," she muttered. "How should I be feeling?"

"About like that," I said, letting her attitude roll off of me. She was eight months pregnant and it was August in California. Just the fact that she was leaving the house was pretty damn amazing. "What did you guys do this weekend?"

"Nothing," smiled Eric, looking from his wife and over to me. "We stayed home and enjoyed the air conditioner."

"Not that it helped much," grumbled Jessica, fanning herself. "I don't know how you did this twice."

"It wasn't so bad with Edison," I said. "He was a fall baby and the temps had dropped enough to make it tolerable but Mack…I was miserable."

"I'm pretty sure this baby hates me," she whined, leaning against the wall as Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Seth joined us.

"Why does your baby hate you?" asked Seth, holding the elevator doors open for us.

"Cause he or she is beating the shit out of me," muttered Jessica, turning red from all the attention.

"I don't know about the rest of you but I am ready to get home," I said, smiling at I looked at Jessica. "It's been a long day."

"Very long," laughed Alice, slipping her hand in with mine.

Alice, Jasper, and I bid Carlisle, Seth, Jessica, and Eric goodnight before climbing into my car and heading back to the house. I parked my car in the garage and we headed inside. Whitley and Mackenzie were sitting on the floor with their baby dolls around them. They were ignoring the fact that Edison was gnawing on one of the baby's heads while Jackson was eating the baby's foot. They were amazing big sisters to our boys.

"Mommy!" squeaked Mackenzie as soon as she looked up and saw us watching them. She jumped up to her feet and came running over to me and jumped into my arms.

"Hey, sweetie," I laughed, hugging her. "Did you have a good day at school?"

"Yep," she smiled as I put her on her feet. After hugging Whitley, Edison, and Jackson, the three of us settled on the couch with them in our laps.

"So what happened at school?" asked Jasper.

"Mrs. White pulled me, Whit, Jonah, and Clay out into the hall after lunch and said she was sorry," said Mackenzie.

"But we don't know why she was sorry," said Whitley. "It was really weird. Then after lunch, she moved all of us to the desks in the front of the classroom."

"Do you like sitting up there?" asked Alice, running her fingers through Whitley's hair.

"I guess," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "After we did our reading, she let us play outside for a few minutes. Mack and I played with Jonah, Jocelyn, and Clayton on the monkey bars."

"That sounds like fun," I smiled. "I'm glad you had a good day."

"Except for the reading," muttered Mackenzie, looking away. "That wasn't fun."

"It will be," I whispered, kissing her cheek. "One day, it will just click, my darling girl, and you will love it."

"Can we go play outside?" asked Mackenzie, changing the subject.

"In the backyard," I said, quietly.

Mackenzie and Whitley climbed off our laps and ran through the kitchen. I heard Edward tell them to slow down. I figured this was a good time to talk to him about working on James project with me so I followed the girls. Edward was standing in front of the stove, cooking dinner and wearing a sexy apron. Maybe I could talk him into wearing just the apron for me tonight.

"Hey, baby," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt him sigh which just caused me to smile.

"Hey yourself, love," he said, turning in my arms and kissing me. "How was work?"

"Boring as hell," I sighed. "Mostly paper work."

"You mean you don't enjoy doing all that paper work?" asked Edward, smirking.

"No," I snorted, "I would rather do anything other than paperwork."

"Sucks being the big, bad boss," he smiled, leaning down and kissing me again.

"Can I talk to you about something?" I asked, pulling my lips from his.

"Of course you can," he said, pulling me over to the table. We sat down and he gripped my hand in his. "What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?"

"I've decided to take on James' project," I said, quietly. Edward tensed up as he leaned back in this chair. He hadn't been thrilled to hear about James' entrance into our company last week.

"I see," he muttered. "Are you sure about this?"

"It'll be good for the company," I said. "But I was hoping that you would work on it with me."

"Me?" asked Edward, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, you," I smiled. "Carlisle, Jasper, and Embry are swamped and so is Seth. Jessica and Eric are due like any day now and I do not want to work with James without someone with me. I thought you might do it."

"Bella, it's been years since I've worked on a project," he said, warily.

"I don't care," I said, smiling as I moved over and straddled his lap. I brought my lips down to his ear and snaked my tongue around the shell of his ear. Edward moaned and grabbed my ass, pulling me even closer onto his rock hard cock. "I can be very persuasive, Mr. Cullen."

"Bella," moaned Edward, massaging my ass in his hands. "You're being so fucking mean."

"Am I?" I asked, leaning back. As I did, I shifted against his cock, causing him to hiss. "I don't mean to be mean, baby."

Edward opened his mouth to say something but we heard the backdoor open. I slid off his lap and fell into the seat next to his just as the girls came running into house, whining about being hungry. Edward put a smile on his face and told them to go upstairs and wash up for dinner. Once they were gone, he turned and glared at me, teasingly.

"I am going to fuck you so hard tonight, love," he growled, standing up. "And I will work on that project with you."

"Good," I smirked. "On both accounts."

Edward muttered under his breath as he adjusted himself and went back over to the stove. I laughed quietly and helped him finish dinner. The girls came in followed by Alice and Jasper, who put the boys in their high chairs. The girls started stuffing their goulash into their mouths at an alarming rate.

"Girls, slow down before you choke," I said as I started feeding Edison some peas.

"Yes, Mommy," they said, giggling when they saw each other's dirty faces. I shook my head and looked around at my lovers.

"So Seth and Tanya are going to Forks at the end of the week to work on Ben and Angela's house," I said, giving them all a look.

"Really?" smiled Alice. "Can't say I'm too surprised."

"Me either," chuckled Jasper. "Not after the way they behaved when they came to visit last summer."

"No kidding," snickered Edward, looking over at me. "They were being quite the bunch of teases."

"What does teases mean?" asked Whitley. Edward puckered his lips together as he looked down at the little auburn haired girl.

"It's when you make fun of someone," explained Edward.

"Why would Uncle Seth and Aunt Tanya make fun of Uncle Ben and Aunt Angela?" asked Mackenzie. "That doesn't sound very nice."

"They weren't being mean," I said, clarifying it for them both. "They were just playing around."

"Oh," said Mackenzie, scrunching up her little face. "Grown-ups are weird."

"Yes, we are," I smiled at her. "Now, finish your dinner, sweetie."

"Yes, Mommy," she sighed.

Alice and I finished feeding the boys and took them upstairs for their bath. They loved bath time and especially loved bathing together. By the time we got them out, they had splashed us both so much that we were soaking wet. It didn't matter because it was one of those moments that we never forget as parents. Alice and I got the boys in their pajamas and rocked them to sleep. We laid them in their cribs and headed into our room, shutting the door behind us.

The moment we walked into our bedroom, Edward had me in his arms. He crushed his lips against mine and lifted me up. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me over to the bed, laying me down before him. He pulled his lips from mine and ripped my shirt open, sending buttons everywhere.

"Fuck," muttered Alice. Edward and I looked over at her and found her watching us with hooded eyes. "So fucking hot."

"Yes, they are," muttered Jasper, coming into our room. "The girls are in bed."

"Perfect," murmured Edward, turning back to me.

The look on his face sent shivers through my body and moisture between my legs. Edward was going to make me pay for my teasing earlier. He climbed off the bed and stripped the rest of my clothes off, tossing them on the floor behind me. He didn't say a word as he moved off of the bed. While he walked over to the closet, Jasper had Alice on her knees in front of him while he fucked her mouth with his amazing cock. He was fisting her hair in his hands and she had her hands on his ass. They were incredible to watch. I slipped my hand down between my legs but before I could slip my fingers in, Edward pulled it back.

"No, no, love," he said. "You don't get to touch yourself after you were being mean to me."

"Please?" I begged, feeling the ache between my legs double.

"No," he said, simply.

Edward pulled my arm back and tied it to the bed. He proceeded to tie my other arm to bed and then my legs, leaving me spread out for him. He climbed off the bed and stood there for a moment, watching my chest move as I breathed. He ran his hand up my leg, running his finger over my swollen lips.

"Edward, please," I cried, pleading with him.

"Soon," he murmured.

He stepped back and started stripping off his clothes, slowly showing me each inch of his amazing body. Behind him, Jasper had Alice bent over the arm of the chair and was fucking her hard. Both of them were watching Edward's show with lustful eyes and shallow breaths. I could feel the moisture seeping out between my legs. Edward was finally naked and climbed back onto the bed. He laid down next to me, making sure that Alice and Jasper could see everything that he was going to do to me. That made me even wetter than I already was.

I could feel Edward's cock pressing against my leg, hard and ready for me to take into my body. I didn't care if it was in my mouth, my pussy, or my ass at this point. I just wanted him and I wanted him badly. Before I could voice my request, however, Edward climbed off the bed and went back into the closet. He came back out a few minutes later with my vibrator. I hadn't needed it much on the seven years that I have been with the three of them but we've had some fun playing with it. My body tingled in anticipation.

"You've been a tease, Isabella," he murmured climbing back onto the bed. He turned my vibrator on and ran it over my already hard nipples. They tightened almost to the point that they were painful. "I've been hard since before dinner and it's all because of you."

"Edward," I moaned. He paused and looked down at me.

"Not another sound, Isabella," he said, firmly.

I clamped my mouth shut, stifling my moan. Edward was taking control and I fucking loved it. He smiled as he moved the vibrator down my stomach, toying with my belly button. Every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire, begging for Edward to take me and make me his. Edward moved the toy down until he had it laying against the outside of my pussy, pressing just enough to get me writhing around on the bed.

"Edward, please," I cried.

He pulled the vibrator off of my body and climbed off the bed. I whimpered as I watched him go over to his sock drawer. He pulled out a red and white bandanna. He was smirking as he came over to the bed and climbed back on. Jasper and Alice were still watching us as Jasper took her hard. She had one hand up in his hair, pulling on his blond hair.

"Since you can't seem to shut that fucking mouth of yours," smirked Edward, "I'll have to help you out a little."

Edward stuffed the bandanna into my mouth and tied it behind my head, rendering me speechless and hornier. He settled back on the bed next to me and picked up the vibrator again. He turned it back on and started up at my nipples again, torturing me slowly as he moved it down my body. Once he was back outside of my pussy, he slipped just the head of the vibrator into me, causing my eyes to roll back. He pulled it out and brought it to his mouth and sucked my cum off of it. More moisture between my legs.

"You taste amazing, love," he murmured, bringing his lips down to my ear. "Do you want me to fuck your pussy?"

I nodded my head frantically. Edward smiled again as he brought the vibrator down to my pussy and slammed it inside of me. I screamed against the material in my mouth. Edward started thrusting the toy in and out of me while he played with my nipples. He would suck them into his mouth and bite down on them just how I liked it. I could feel my orgasm building and just as I was fixing to cum, Edward pulled the vibrator out of me, causing me to whimper.

"You don't get to cum just yet, love," said Edward, tossing the toy onto the bed. He moved so that he was between my legs again. "Do you remember what I told you in the kitchen?" I nodded my head again. "I hope you are ready. Do not cum before I tell you to. Do you understand?" he asked.

I nodded my head once again as my body trembled in anticipation. I was barely aware of Jasper and Alice as they sat curled up together in the chair watching Edward's little show. Edward lifted my hips off of the bed and placed the tip of his cock at my entrance. He locked his eyes on mine as he slammed into me, filling me with one fluid move.

It took every ounce of my control not to cum right then and there. He was so deep inside of me, filling me completely. He immediately pulled back out and slammed into me again. Over and over he pounded into me, each time was harder than the time before. Each time I had to fight back the urge to let my orgasm take over and surge through my body. Edward kept his eyes locked on mine as he took my body as his and did what he wanted with it. In the seven years that we've been having sex, he had never been like this. He was raw and aggressive and I loved every fucking minute of it.

"Now, Bella," he ordered, slamming into me again and again. "Come for me now!"

Behind the bandanna that covered my mouth, I screamed and pulled on the binds that held me to the bed. My body exploded as I came harder than I ever had. Edward stilled his hips as he shot his cum deep inside of me, muttered my name under his breath. He fell onto the bed next to me and started undoing the binding that held me down. He ripped the bandanna off my mouth and pulled my body up against his.

"Are you ok?" he whispered. "Did I take it too far?"

"I'm fine," I muttered, weakly. "That was amazing, Edward. Just…fucking amazing."

"For me as well," murmured Edward.

He climbed off the bed with me in his arms. Jasper and Alice followed us into the bathroom and we took a shower together. My legs felt like jelly but the rest of me felt incredible. I could still feel Edward inside of me and I couldn't help but smile. We finished up our shower and headed back into our bedroom. We pulled on our pajamas and climbed into bed. Edward snuggled up behind me, draping his arm around my waist. As I drifted to sleep, I felt his lips curve up into a smile against the side of my neck.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the delay on the chapter but RL has been insane and this coming week will be even worse. **


	7. Chapter 7

I was woken up early Thursday morning feeling a pair little hands patting the side of my face. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over to the side of the bed. Whitley was standing there with tears running down her face. The clock on the bedside table said it was just after three in the morning.

"What's the matter, sweets?" I asked, pulling her onto the bed with me. As she tucked her head into the crook of my neck, I felt Edward, Alice, and Jasper start to stir.

"I had a bad dream," she cried, slipping her arms around my torso. "It was so scary, Mommy."

"It's ok, sweetheart," I whispered, soothingly. "Do you want to tell us about it?"

"A monster broke into the house and killed everyone," she said, sniffing. "I ran from him but he caught me and started stabbing me."

"That is not going to happen," I said, frowning.

"Promise?" she asked, looking up at me with watery eyes.

"I promise," I smiled. "Do you want to sleep with us?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Ok," I murmured.

I pull the blanket over her. She tucked herself into my chest and drifted off to sleep, running her finger along my collarbone. Edward slipped his arm around my waist and let his hand fall on her back as we drifted off to sleep again.

A few hours later, we were woken back up when our alarm clock went off. Whitley groaned but climbed off the bed. She headed back into her room with Alice to wake Mackenzie up while Jasper, Edward, and I got ready for work.

Today, Edward and I were meeting with James to go over his project one more time. When I had called James to set up the meeting on Tuesday, he seemed excited that we were going to be taking on his account. This whole situation with James was just weird. He had never been so gung-ho about anything, especially work. All I really knew was that I was glad that Edward had agreed to work on this project with me. I just didn't trust James, not at all.

"You ok, Beautiful?" asked Jasper, wrapping his arms around my waist. I smiled as I felt his lips on the side of my neck. "You seem distracted."

"Just thinking about the day," I said, turning in his arms. I reached up and straightened his tie. He was wearing a pair of snug khaki pants and a white dress shirt with a blue tie that the girls had gotten him last year for father's day. "You look very handsome."

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm hoping to impress my boss," he smirked. "She's a knock out and I would love to tap that ass."

"Oh really," I laughed, placing my hands on his chest. "Hmm, well, I won't tell your secret if you don't tell mine."

"What secret is that?" he asked, raising a single eyebrow.

"Well, there is this really sexy man that works for me," I said, blushing. "I would love it if he just bent me over my desk someday and took me hard and fast from behind. It's kind of been a fantasy of mine."

Jasper groaned and pressed the full length of his body down onto mine. I could feel his growing erection pressing against the material of his pants. "You are such a naughty tease. Did you not learn anything from Edward's lesson the other night?"

"Oh, I learned plenty," I smirked, pulling away from him. I turned and headed toward our bedroom door. "Like how much I love the punishment for being a tease."

As I walked out of our bedroom, I heard Jasper groan again and vow to make me pay for teasing him. I don't know why I was enjoying teasing him and Edward so much lately but it was really turning me on. I headed downstairs to the kitchen and kissed the tops of the girls' heads before moving over to the boys. Edward and Alice were feeding them some cereal, which they had all over their faces.

"Girls, what would you like for breakfast?" I asked, after kissing the boys. They both giggled and slapped their hands down on their trays.

"Um," they both said, thinking about it.

"Pancakes," said Whitley while Mackenzie said, "Waffles."

"Which is it?" I asked, leaning on the counter.

They looked at each other and sighed. Holding up a fist each, they played a quick three rounds of rock, paper, scissors. Mackenzie own two games to three after she threw down a paper and two rocks. Whitley threw down three pairs of scissors. She took her defeat in stride, however, and graciously ate the waffles I made them. Once they were both done, we loaded the dishes in the dishwasher and got everyone loaded into the van. Well, except for Alice and Jasper. They were driving Jasper's truck into work while I rode with Edward to drop off the girls at school and the boys at the grandparents house.

When we walked into their classroom, the first thing I noticed was that Mrs. White was talking to Rose and Jared, which was something we hadn't seen. I shared a look with Edward as I tightened my grip in Jackson and headed over to them. All three of them looked up at us but only Rose and Jared smiled. Mrs. White just looked.

"Hello, Mrs. White," I said, politely. "How are you this morning?"

"Fine," she said, tightly before looking down at the girls. Her face relaxed and she smiled a real smile at them. "Good morning, girls. Are you ready for a fun day at school?"

"Yep," smiled Mackenzie while Whitley just nodded her head.

"Well, get your stuff put up so we can be ready when the bell rings," said Mrs. White. The girls headed over and put their backpacks up before settling into their seats. Mrs. White looked back over at me and Edward. "Well, I should get ready for the day."

Without saying another words to us, she turned and headed over to her desk. I clenched my jaw shut as I turned and followed Edward out of the classroom, followed closely by Rose and Jared. That bitch was really starting to piss me the fuck off. Oh, so, we call her on her bullshit and she turns into an even bigger bitch to me and Edward. I suppose I should be thankful that she wasn't taking it out on the kids anymore but it pissed me off that she was so rude to us.

"Um, Bella," said Rose, pulling on my arm. I stopped and looked over at her. "You're parked over that way."

"Oh, yeah," I muttered.

"Shake it off, Bella," said Rose. "That woman isn't worth it."

"Yeah, Bells," smiled Jared.

"Easy for you to say," I spat. "You two weren't treated like scum."

I turned and headed down the sidewalk to where the ban was parked. Rose and Jared were just trying to help, I got that, but they hadn't been told that they were mistreating their children. They weren't told that basically, they were horrible parents, who were ruining their children lives.

_Stupid, fucking cow._

Edward and I got the boys loaded into their car seats and headed over Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte's house. Over the last five years, my parents relationship with Peter and Charlotte had only gotten stronger. Charlotte had decided to open a small photo studio here in LA. It didn't take long for her name to spread and she's been quite the hit. Renee never went back to teaching. I think she knew it was going to be hard to find a job with their lifestyle and I don't think she really wanted to. She loved being at home. Since Charlotte set her own hours, the four of them could do anything they wanted. They traveled some but stayed close to home mostly.

"Hey, you ok?" asked Edward, pulling the van up in front of their house.

"No," I said, honestly as I looked over at him. "I don't like that woman and I don't like how she treats us. I know that she's been better toward the girls but how long is it going to be before one of them asks us why Mrs. White doesn't like us?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I was thinking the same thing but I don't know what to do about it. We are watching her closely. Phil is watching her closely. What can we do?"

"I wish I knew."

After we left the boys with Charlie and Peter, who barely said two words to us, we headed back out to the van and down to the office. I could tell that Edward was a little nervous about coming back to work, even if it was only for this one project. He had become so accustom to being at home with the kids that this had to be like jumping into a tank full of sharks. Only this sharks name was James Altman.

Edward and I headed up to my office. He settled down on the sofa so that he could go over James' proposal while I sat behind my desk and went through my emails. Seth and Tanya were heading to Forks tonight and I needed to make sure everything was taken care of. Edward and I had only been in the office for about twenty minutes when there was a knock on the door.

I looked over at him and smiled as I got up from behind my desk and went to open the door. I pulled the oak door open and found James leaning against the doorframe with one hand and a smirk plastered on his face. I was temped to roll my eyes at him but I knew James well enough to know that it wouldn't do any good.

"Come on in," I said, dryly and stepped back.

James smiled and stepped into my office. As I shut the door behind us, I noticed that he seemed to stop short when he saw Edward sitting on the couch with a smug look on his face that clearly said 'Yeah, I tap that ass whenever I want it.' I smiled at him and shook my head before clearing my throat and drawing James' attention back onto me.

"James Altman, this is Edward Cullen," I said, gesturing to my sexy ass man. "Edward, darling, this is James."

"Nice to meet you, James," said Edward, standing up and offering him a hand. "I've heard all about you."

"Hmm, I haven't heard anything about you," smirked James, gripping Edward's hand firmly.

"Of course you haven't," I scoffed. "It's been more than seven years since Alice or I had seen you, James. Come to think about it, it was right before we meet you and Jasper, right Honey?"

"That's right, love," said Edward, smirking this time. He came over and slipped his arms around my waist, planting a kiss to the side of my neck. The look of shock on James' face was priceless.

"Ok, I get the picture," sighed James. "You and Al are happy."

"You know she hates being called Al," I said, scolding him.

"I remember," snorted James.

We moved over to the small circular table and settled down. Edward sat as close to me as he could without actually pulling me into his lap. I loved Caveward so much. James settled across from us and leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers onto the table. For a moment we just sat there, looking at each other. Then, he start laughing.

"I have to say, Isabella," chuckled James, shaking his head. "I figured you and Alice would be shacking up together by now."

"Who's to say we aren't?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. His eyes went wide as he looked from me to Edward. "What you don't think Edward and Jasper know about mine and Alice's relationship? They should seeing as we've been married for almost seven years."

James threw his head back and laughed. "Wow, I was not expecting that."

"Clearly," I muttered, dryly. I opened his proposal and laid it in the middle of the table. "If we can get to work, I have a company to run."

"Wait," said James, snapping his head to me. "Cullen? As in Cullen Architecture? Oh, Isabella, I didn't think you had it in you."

"First, James, it's not Isabella. It has never been Isabella. It's just Bella," I snapped. "Second, if you want us to do this, I wouldn't voice the nasty thoughts that are going through your head right now. I earned my position by working hard."

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry," he said, putting his hands up. "I didn't mean anything by it, Bella."

"Whatever," I muttered, shaking my head. "Now, can we get to work? I do have other things to do today."

"Of course," said James, leaning up to the table. "What did you have in mind?"

"These are some tentative plans that I have drawn up," I said, unrolling them onto the table. "Now, this is what I see…."

As I explained my plans to James, he moved around the table so he could get a better look. I felt Edward tense up a little next to me but he didn't say anything and I knew he wouldn't. My plans for James' store called for us to find a bigger space than what he had originally called for but I felt with the right planning and investments that this place could be more than your typical porn store. He had a lot of potential and, even though I didn't like the man, I wanted this to be a successful business venture for the both of us.

"I loved the look but I'm concerned about how much more this is going to cost me," said James, falling back into his seat. "I'm financing this thing on my own and this is going to bust me."

"James," I said, turning toward him. "I wouldn't suggest these changes if I wasn't one hundred percent confident that you would be successful. I see this place as more than just a porn store. If you would feel more confident, I could see if I can find some investors who might be willing to help with the cost."

"I'll have to think about it," he said, warily. "I mean, I have stores in other places that I have to think about."

"We understand," said Edward. "But you should know that Bella is never wrong about what she sees in a building and if she sees that you could be more successful going a different way, then you should listen to her."

"Like I said, I'll think about it." James looked over at me. "Do you have any property in mind that would better suite your plans?"

"A few places," I explained. "Edward and I would be more than happy to show them to you next week."

"You and Edward, huh?" he snorted. "Ok, well, just let me know when to meet you and I'll think about it."

"I'll be in touch next week," I said, standing up. James and Edward stood up next to me. As James leaned in to kiss my cheek, Edward slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me back a couple of steps.

"Hmm," snorted James. "This is going to be fun."

James turned and walked out of my office, shutting the door behind him. I looked back at Edward. He had a look of pure and utter rage and aggravation set in his face. I turned in his arm and placed my hand on his chest and sliding my other arm up around his neck.

"Hey, don't be mad," I said, slipping my hand into his hair. Edward's eyes closed as he shivered. I knew his body.

"I don't like him," he muttered.

"Neither do I," I admitted.

"But I trust you," whispered Edward. "And I love you."

"I love you, too," I smiled. "As long as you are with me, then I will be ok."

"Yeah, I'll definitely be here when it comes to dealing with that assmuncher," growled Edward.

"Assmuncher?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep," he smile. "I had better go get the boys. See you at home later."

"Later," I murmured, kissing him.

Edward groaned as he walked out of my office and I am pretty sure I saw him adjusting himself on the way out. I laughed inwardly, knowing that I still turned him on. That was one thing about our relationship that never slowed down or lessened in intensity. The four of us were just as explosive as we were the night we met. I settled behind my desk and went to work. There were still stacks of paperwork for me to go through. It was a never ending cycle.

In the middle of the afternoon, my office door opened. I looked over as Jasper came inside, shutting the door behind him. He flicked the lock on my door and looked at me. I started to speak but he held up his hand to stop me. He was smirking as he came around my desk, grabbed my arm, forced me onto my feet. A shiver rocketed through my body from just the anticipation of what he was going to do to me.

"Don't speak," he ordered, pulling my body flush against his.

I couldn't have said anything if I had tried. Jasper was taking me just like I had always wanted him to. He brought his lips down to the side of my neck, sucking on small skin behind my ear. I raised my hands and brought them to his hair, weaving my fingers into his golden locks. Jasper moaned and pushed my upper body down onto the top of my desk. He kept one hand on the middle of my back while his other hand pulled up my skirt. He moaned again when he saw my black lace panties that I had slipped on this morning but that was the only sound he made.

I heard the sound of his belt being pulled undone and the zipper being lowered on his pants. A moment later, I felt his cock pressing into my backside. I wanted to push into him but with the way that he was holding me down, I couldn't have moved unless I hurt him and I didn't want to hurt him. I was so wet that I could feel my juices slipping down my spread legs. Jasper roughly grabbed my panties and ripped them down my legs, leaving them around my knees. Without saying anything, he lined himself up to me and slammed himself into me until his hips were flush with my ass.

It took every ounce of control not to scream out in pleasure. Jasper started thrusting into me hard and fast, slamming his hips against my backside each time. He moved both his hands down to my hips and was gripping them so tightly that I was sure I was going to have bruises but they would be worth it. I reached out and grabbed the other side of my desk, trying to find the leverage to push back into him. Jasper rarely let go like this and just took me or Alice. He was always the more sensual of our two husbands but I loved his side of Jasper.

My legs felt like jelly as Jasper continued to plunge himself into me over and over. I could feel my orgasm building and knew there was no way in hell that I was going to last very long like this. Just as my walls started quivering, Jasper slipped his hand up and covered my mouth and muffling the scream that came out as I climaxed. Jasper pulled of me, spun me around, and pushed me to my knees. I wasted no time in taking him into my mouth, enjoying the taste of myself on him. He thrust his hips into my mouth a few more times before he shuddered and came, sending his tasty cum down my throat. I fell back on my feet and savored the taste of him. Jasper fell to his knees next to me and pulled me into his arms, kissing me.

"Baby, are you ok?" he asked. "Did I take it too far?"

"I'm perfect," I smiled, ducking my head into his neck. "Feel free to do that anytime."

"I will," he laughed, kissing me again. "Let's go home. Alice left with Edward."

"Ok," I murmured.

Jasper and I stood up. I slipped my panties back up my legs, moaning as they came into contact with my sensitive clit. Once Jasper had his pants back on, we grabbed what we needed from our offices, ignored the smirks from Carlisle and Embry, and headed down to the elevator. We found Seth waiting there, rolling onto the balls of his feet. Clearly the man was excited about his weekend away.

"Hey, Seth," said Jasper, clapping him on the shoulder. "You heading out?"

"Yep," he muttered, avoiding all eye contact with me or Jasper. "Tanya and I are heading to the airport."

"Seth, can I give you some advice?" I asked as the three of us stepped into the elevator.

"Can I stop you?" he asked, dryly. I ignored him.

"You and Tanya have been skirting around your attraction to Ben and Angela for months. Now, I'm not saying that you should down to Forks and fuck their brains out-"

"I am," smirked Jasper. I swatted his chest as I went on.

"I'm just saying that you, Tanya, Angela, and Ben should…consider all your options before you let something that could be really good for you, pass you by," I said. The door to the elevator opened in the parking garage and the three of us stepped out. "Just…relax and have some fun."

"We will," said Seth, smiling. "I'll see you next week."

"Ok," I said, stifling my laughter as he walked over to his car. Jasper and I climbed into his truck and I burst out laughing.

"They are so getting together this weekend," snorted Jasper.

"It was only a matter of time," I laughed, looking over at him. "Let's go home."

Jasper smiled and started his truck. He pulled into traffic and we headed back to the house, to our family. Life was good.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Ok, so now the big question. Do we want Seth/Tanya/Angela/Ben's weekend as a part of the outtakes or as a small side story? I leave it to you to decide. **


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, Edward," moaned Jasper. "Don't you dare fucking stop."

"I'm not, baby, I'm not," groaned Edward.

I snapped my eyes open as I felt the bed shift and looked behind me. Jasper was laying on his back with Edward between his legs, sliding his cock between his lips and into his mouth. Moisture flooded my panties. I still loved to watch them together. Jasper had his hand nestled in Edward's hair, guiding him slowly. His eyes were partially closed and he was already panting as Edward stroked the inside of Jasper's thighs. They were so fucking beautiful.

Alice peeked over the top of them and smiled wickedly. She crawled around them and rested so that she was hovering over me. She leaned up on her knees and slipped her black silk nightgown off and tossed it onto the floor, leaving her in a pair of sheer black panties that hid very little. Alice's nipples were pebbled and begging for me to touch, suck on them, love them. She had a sparkle in her eye as she leaned down and licked the outside of my lips. I opened my mouth, desperately wanting her to kiss me. Alice closed the small gap between our lips, slipping her tongue into my mouth. I moaned and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her toned body down onto mine. She slid her hand under my flimsy, sage green nightgown and slowly crept her way up to my breast, palming me in her delicate hand.

"Oh, Alice," I moaned as she moved her lips down to my neck.

I was vaguely aware of Edward and Jasper next to us, moaning and grunting together. Alice had my nightgown pushed up and was sucking on my nipples. I reached up and grabbed her hair, twisting my fingers around her dark locks. Alice sucked and licked her way down my stomach until she reached the top of my red, silk panties.

"I love these fucking panties on you, baby," she purred, gripping the sides. I lifted my hips so she could slide them down. "But I much prefer you like this," she smirked, tossing my panties onto the floor.

I pulled off my last bit of clothing and spread my legs for her, silently begging her to touch me, taste me, to do something, anything to me. Alice knew exactly what I wanted as she leaned down and started kissing her way up my leg started at my knee. Just as she was fixing to reach my pussy, she moved to other leg causing me whimper.

"Patience," she murmured, kissing the sensitive spot behind my knee.

"Baby, I need you," I begged.

Alice smiled as she moved up so that she was nestled between my legs. She smirked as she leaned down and licked my wet folds from bottom to top, slowly. Too slowly. I wanted to grab the back of her head and shove her mouth down onto me, but I didn't. Alice slipped two fingers into me, spreading my folds apart as she slipped her tongue in. I heard a throaty moan and snapped my eyes over to see Edward watching her. His eyes were glued to Alice's tongue and he still had Jasper's cock in his mouth.

I kept my eyes locked on his as I reached down and grabbed the back of her head and said, "Fuck, Ali, your mouth is fucking amazing," I purred. Alice started thrusting her tongue into me. "Yeah, baby, fuck me good."

Edward's green eyes darkened as he sucked his cheeks in, causing Jasper to let out a menacing growl that made my pussy tingle. "Edward, fuck," he gasped, tightening his hand that was locked in Edward's auburn hair. "I'm gonna fucking cum."

Edward turned his eyes back to Jasper, giving him a lustful stare as he relaxed his throat and took him all the way in. Jasper grunted and pushed his head into the pillow as he came, muttering Edward's name under his breath. Edward's eyes fluttered closed as he swallowed every drop that came from him. He released Jasper's cock, leaned up, and gave him a kiss before he moved so that he was behind Alice. He locked his eyes on mine as he lowered Alice's panties and filled her completely. Alice moaned against me. Edward gripped her hips in his hands as he started fucking her hard. This wasn't going to be sweet and gentle love making. No, this was going dirty, raw fucking.

Alice slid her two fingers deeper into me, matching the pace that Edward was driving into her. Jasper was laying on his side, stroking his rapidly hardening cock as he watched us. Alice curved her fingers up, hitting the sweetest spot inside of me. My back arched off the bed as I came, clamping my lips together and locking my cry of ecstasy inside of myself.

Once Alice had lapped up every drop that I gave her, she lifted her head and looked at me. Her chin and lips were coated with my juices. I moved so that I was face to face with her, pressing my lips to hers. I could taste myself on her and, damn it, if I didn't taste good on her lips and tongue. As I was kissing her, I felt Jasper shift over and grab my hips just like Edward was grabbing Alice's. The tip of his cock teased my entrance and I moaned into Alice's mouth. I didn't want to stop kissing her but I wanted him inside of me.

"Do it, Jas," ordered Edward, forcefully. "Fucking take her, already."

Jasper's hands tightened on my hips as he pressed just the tip of his magnificent cock into me. He reached up and fisted my hair in his fingers as he thrust into me, pulling on my hair. The mixture of pleasure and pain brought me to climax again and I screamed into Alice's mouth. She pulled her lips from mine and laid her head on my shoulder. The boys were pounding into us, savagely taking us.

Alice brought her hand up, covering the one that Jasper had in my hair. Feeling them both touching me, sent me over the edge again. I cried out into her neck, letting my orgasm wash over me. My walls clenched down on Jasper pulling him over the edge with me. He twitched inside of me before he spilled his load.

"Oh, fuck, Edward," moaned Alice. "I'm so fucking close."

"Me too, baby, me too," grunted Edward.

As Jasper slid out of me and we laid back on the bed, I saw Edward snake his hand around Alice and press down on her clit. Alice dropped her head down on the mattress as she came, crying out Edward's name. He still his hips after once last thrust and came with her. The two of them dropped onto the bed, panting and gasping for air.

"Do you think our sex life will ever slow down?" asked Alice, smiling.

"I really fucking hope not," I sighed.

"Me either," laughed Jasper, pressing his lips to my neck. "I like that we can still have an orgy like this."

"Me too," murmured Edward. He opened his mouth to say something else but stopped when he heard the boys crying through the baby monitors. He sighed and rolled onto his back. "I guess that's our cue to get up."

Edward climbed off the bed and pulled on his pajamas before heading into the bathroom. A moment later, he came back out and headed out to get the kids up while Jasper, Alice, and I went to take a shower and get ready for work. It was in moments like this that I worried that we relied on him too much to take care of the kids on his own. He would never complain, of course, but he often did the bulk of the work when it came to our mornings and it didn't seem fair.

Jasper, Alice, and I quickly showered and got ready for work. Jasper was wearing a pair of black slacks with a white dress shirt tucked into the waist band. He had on a pair of black leather loafers that Alice had found for him last year. He wasn't much of a tie wearer so he had the top two buttons undone, showing off just a small bit of his chest. He looked up and caught me ogling him as he put on his black, leather belt. Even after seven years together, I still blushed when he caught me looking and quickly turned away. I heard him chuckle as he walked out of the room.

"Are you almost ready?" asked Alice, slipping on her black pumps.

"Yes," I murmured, pulling out my red, peep-toes heels out of the closest.

I slipped them on and looked in the mirror one more time. I was wearing a knee length, black skirt that hugged my ass with a red silk blouse. I thought I looked pretty damn sexy, personally. I looked back at Alice. She was wearing a pair of snug black pants and a creamy ivory shirt. Her black hair was pulled up in a messy twist on the back of her head, causing her to look like she just stepped off the cover of a magazine.

"What are you looking at?" she asked, smirking.

"You," I said, simply. "You look beautiful."

"You are going to make me blush," she murmured, coyly. I ducked my head as I walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her. I leaned my lips down to her ear.

"I love you, Ali," I whispered.

"I love you, too, Bella," she murmured, breathlessly, turning her head and capturing my lips with hers.

My lips parted as her tongue brushed across them, asking to be let in. I moved my hand up to the back of her neck as my other hand, pulled her even closer to me. Alice wrapped her arms around me, holding me just as snuggly as I was her. Our tongues moved against each other's, massaging one another's. It wasn't until we heard a pair of gigglers behind me that I realized we were no longer alone.

I pulled my lips from Alice's and looked back. Whitley and Mackenzie were standing in the doorway of our bedroom with their hands up to their mouths. Even though they were trying to hide them, I could still see their smiles behind their tiny hands. They were both wearing a pair of purple, cotton Capri pants, matching purple shirts with Tinkerbell on them, and their white sketchers.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You and Mommy kiss a lot," giggled Whitley.

"Yeah, almost as much as our Daddies kiss," said Mackenzie smiling.

"Oh," smiled Alice, blushing as she looked back at me. I knew she was thinking about our morning with our darling husbands.

"Did you need something, girls?" I asked.

"Will you braid our hair?" asked Mackenzie.

"We want to look alike today," smiled Whitley.

Alice and I shared a look before we nodded our heads. The girls squealed and came rushing over to us. Alice and I sat down on the edge of the bed with the girls in front of us; Whitley in front of her and Mackenzie in front of me. They giggled and talked about school while Alice and I French braided their hair. They normally didn't like dressing or looking alike but every once in a while, they would do it just to have fun. I always secretly loved it. Maybe it was because Rose and I were never as close as they are as little girls.

Once Alice and I had the girls' hair done, we headed downstairs to the kitchen. The boys were sitting in their highchairs with their breakfasts all over their faces while Jasper tried to feed them. Edward was standing in front of the stove, making the girls some French toast. Alice went to help Jasper with Jackson and Edison while I moved over to Edward and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him sigh and he placed one of his hands on top of mine.

"Have I ever told you that you are a wonderful dad?" I murmured, resting my head on his back.

"A time or two but it's nice to hear," he said, quietly. "Have I ever told you that I love you?"

"One or two million times," I giggled. Edward pulled me to his side and wrapped his arm around my waist, pressing his lips to the side of my head.

"Not nearly enough then," he whispered.

The girls giggled and I blushed at Edward's words. He was such a smooth talker sometimes. We finished making their breakfast together. Edward pulled me into his lap and held me while they ate. He had his hand on the middle of my back, gently rubbing small circles. I slipped my arm around his shoulders and ran my fingers through his hair, causing his eyes to close. I knew he loved it when we played with his hair.

All too soon it was time to leave for work and I reluctantly climbed off Edward's lap. I hugged and kissed the girls, telling them to be good at school. I swear they rolled their eyes in perfect unison as they said they would. The boys both cackled as I kissed their chucky cheeks. Before I walked out of the kitchen with Jasper and Alice, I slipped my arms around Edward and kissed him, whispering my love to him.

The ride to work felt like it took twice as long, even if it didn't. Most days I loved my job but sometimes, I longed to be at home. I parked my car in my parking space and the three of us headed inside. The office was already buzzing as everyone worked. It made me smile to see that they put so much effort into their jobs. I liked to think that it was because I was a good boss, and maybe that was part of it, but I think it was more that they loved their jobs and they loved our little family here.

Jasper and Alice headed down to their offices while I headed down to mine. When I got my laptop up and running, I found that I had an email from James, agreeing to the changes we had discussed at our meeting last week and was wanting to set up a meeting with the realtors for this week to look at locations. While I was glad for the account was going for the company, a part of me was hoping that he would reject our changes and take his business somewhere else. After talking to the realtor, I picked up my office phone and called James.

"This is James Altman." I wanted to roll my eyes at his lame ass greeting but I didn't.

"James, this is Bella," I said.

"Hey, Bella," he said, smoothly. "I'm taking it you got my email."

"How'd you guess," I muttered, dryly. "The realtor can meet with us on Friday morning."

"What time?" he asked.

"First showing is at eight-fifteen," I explained.

"Ok, sounds good," he said. "Did you get a chance to talk to any investors?"

"A couple," I replied. "They want to meet with you after you have found a location."

"Does it seem like they are really interested in investing or are they blowing smoke up my ass?" he asked.

"James, I wouldn't be getting them involved if I wasn't sure they were going to be interested and willing to invest," I said. "I am offering you the chance to take your business to new heights and you are balking at it. I don't understand why you even brought your business to us if this is how you are going to be."

"Wow, can I get a word in, Miss I-love-to-rant?" he laughed. "The reason I came to you is because you and Alice are the only people I trust with my store, Bella. This place is more than just a business opportunity to me. This is my life, my livelihood. Now, I don't mean this to come off the way it is going to, but I am trusting you with something that is very important to me. I need to know that you are giving this everything. Am I making a mistake by coming to you, Bella?" he asked. I sighed as I leaned back in my seat.

"No," I said. "But I need to know that I can trust you, James. Your track record doesn't exactly make me feel very comfortable, either. Have you forgotten Alice's parents anniversary party?"

"Of course, I haven't," he muttered. "I feel like such an ass but I'll be honest, I was jealous as hell of you and Alice."

"I supposed I understand that," I murmured. "I felt the same way when I saw you two together."

"I know," he laughed. "I could tell and I liked to get you all pissed off. You were cute as hell when you got pissed."

"You are such an asshat," I muttered.

"I am," he admitted. "Ok, so we'll meet on Friday morning?"

"Edward and I will be there," I said.

"Edward, huh?" he snorted. "Ok, until Friday then."

I sighed as I placed the phone back down on the base. I pulled out my plans for James' store for at least the hundredth time in last couple weeks and looked over them. Something still nagged at me that I was making the wrong choice by going into business with him. I just wasn't sure why but something felt off about the whole deal. I pushed all thoughts of James out of my head and went back to work.

Just before lunch, someone knocked on my door. I hollered for them to come in and looked over at the door. Seth pushed the door open and smiled but there was something off on his smile. He looked scared and nervous, like I was going to rip him a new asshole or something.

"Hey, Seth," I smiled. "Come on in."

"Actually, Bella, I was hoping you would come have lunch with me," he muttered, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course," he said, nodding his head but it was still off. "I just thought it would be nice to have lunch…You know, catch up and everything."

"Ok," I said, slowly. I stood up and grabbed my purse. "Let's go."

Seth smiled as I walked past him. I wasn't sure what was going on but there was something. It seemed like today was nothing but a lot of something's going on. Seth and I headed down to the parking garage but instead of climbing into one of our cars, we walked up the street to a small deli. They often delivered to over at the company and we were well known here.

When we walked in, I was surprised to see Carlisle and Tanya both sitting at a table in the back. Seth avoided my eyes as we headed back and sat with them; me by Carlisle and him by Tanya. Before anyone could say anything our waitress, Kayla, came over and took our order. I kind of wanted to tell her to get the hell out of here, that we had something important to talk about but I refrained. She took our orders and brought us our drinks and still nobody said anything. I looked up at Carlisle, who looked just as confused as I did.

"Um, are either of you going to tell us what the hell we are doing here?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. Seth and Tanya exchanged a look as they shifted in their seats.

"Well, um," said Seth, clearing his throat.

"Yeah?" I asked, after a moment. "What the hell is going on? Are you fucking dying or something?"

"No," he scoffed. "Do you think this is how I would tell you if I was dying?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" I asked, angrily. "You and Tanya come back from…Oh shit, something happened in Forks, didn't it?" I asked, eagerly. Both Seth and Tanya smiled and looked at each other, which was all the confirmation I needed. "I fucking knew you four were going to get it on."

"Fuck, Bella, do you have to be so vulgar and loud?" hissed Tanya, looking around. Of course, nobody was staring at us.

"Sorry but I knew it," I smirked. "Is that what you were wanting to tell us?"

"Partly," smiled Seth. Tanya hooked her arm in with his and laid her head on his shoulder, equally big smile on her face.

"Oh, guys," I murmured. "You look so happy."

"We are happy," admitted Tanya.

"Which is what makes this so hard," said Seth, taking a deep breath. "I quit."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Let me tell you, I had the hardest trying to get this chapter done today. Anyway, let me know what you thought. For those of you who haven't seen, I have the Seth/Tanya/Ben/Angela story up. It's called Different Awakenings and it's six chapters for now. Go check it out and let me know what you think. **

**Now, for other business. My story, Away From The Sun, was nominated for an Avant Garde Award for Best Must Read. Round one of the Voting opens in the 20th. The link has been posted on my profile so due me a favor and go vote for me. Please and thank you.**


	9. Chapter 9

Seth was quitting. Seth was fucking quitting. I sat there in the booth, staring at him as I let the words sink in. Seth was actually quitting. He had moved his arm so that it was around Tanya, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. I turned and looked at Carlisle.

"I won," I said, simply as I held my hand out.

"Motherfucker," he muttered, pulling out his wallet and slapping a hundred dollar bill in my hand. "I thought for sure Ben, Angela, and Caleb would be moving here."

"I told you that would never happen," I laughed, slipping the money into my purse. "One day, old man, you will learn to listen to me."

"Whatever," he scoffed, shaking his head.

"What the fuck is going on here?" snapped Seth, slamming his hand on the table. Carlisle and I looked over at him and Tanya, who were looking between the two of us. "You two bet on who was going to move?"

"Yeah," I said. "I won. He lost."

"You two…" Seth shook his head as he let his words die. "So you aren't mad?"

"No," I smiled. "Why would I be mad?"

"Well, it's not like I talked to you about this before hand," he muttered. I rolled my eyes as Kayla brought our food out, setting our dishes in front of us.

"Can I get you anything else?" she asked, smiling at Carlisle. All of us knew she had a little crush on him. She never did anything more than smile at him or compliment him on his choice of tie.

"I think we're good," I said, placing my hand on Carlisle's arm. Kayla looked from him to me, eyes darkening just a little, before she turned and walked away. "Wow."

"Is she always like that?" asked Tanya, popping a fry into her mouth.

"Pretty much," muttered Carlisle, dryly. He wasn't comfortable with her little crush and never did anything to encourage it.

"Hmm," snorted Tanya, turning back to her food.

"Don't think we aren't going to talk about this," I smirked. Tanya and Seth both rolled their eyes at the same time. "Come on, guys," I begged. "I need details."

"No, you really don't," smiled Tanya. I ignored her and looked over at Seth, who was blushing and looking right at his food. I heard Carlisle laughing under his breath.

"Seth," I said, softly. He still didn't look up at me. "Seeetttthhhh."

"Bella, you don't need details," he muttered, lifting his eyes up to meet mine.

"Yes, I do," I smiled, nodding my head. "If I'm losing my best architect, I need details."

"Look, all you need to know is that we are together now," he sighed. "Tanya and I refuse to lose them just because we live in different states. We can't ask them to move to us and disrupt Caleb's life anymore than it already is going to be. It's going to be hard on enough on him without asking him to give up his home."

"You think I am just going to let you quit?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow at him.

"It's not like you can stop me," he scoffed. I looked over at Carlisle, who burst out laughing. "You can't."

"Oh, sure I can," I smiled. "In fact, I am because Carlisle and I have something better in mind for you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Seth. Tanya was just sitting there staring at us like we were speaking in tongues or something.

"I'm talking about you, my most dedicated employee, taking over our Forks branch of the firm," I smiled. Seth leaned back in his seat as he looked from me to Carlisle and back.

"Are you fucking serious?" he asked.

"Yes," laughed Carlisle, leaning up. "I hate that the building is just sitting there collecting dust. It's a good space and it needs to be used. Now, I'll understand if you would rather not take on the branch but we hate to lose you, Seth."

"So let me see if I have this straight," said Seth, placing his hands on the table. "Instead of letting me quit, you are essentially transferring my employment to the Forks branch of Cullen Architecture?" he asked.

"We aren't essentially doing anything, that's exactly what we are doing," I smiled. "If you don't want to stay with the company, we will understand, Seth."

"God, no, that's not it," he said, quickly. "So I'd like be the boss of Forks branch, right?"

"Yes," I smiled.

"Can I be a real bastard?" he asked, smirking.

"No," I laughed. "Well, I suppose you can but why would you want to?"

"I don't, I was just wondering what you would say when I asked," he said, shrugging his shoulders. I rolled my eyes at him. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," I said. "Seth, honestly, you outgrew us two years ago. You shouldn't be stuck in the position you are in just because there isn't anywhere else you can go here in LA. We don't want you to leave, but we can't hold you back here either, especially now that you four are seeing what has been right in front of you for years."

"Yeah, we know," he muttered. Seth looked over at Tanya, who was smiling as she stared at her husband. "What do you think, Baby?"

"I think it's a fantastic idea," smiled Tanya. "As long as this is what you want, of course."

"You know it is," murmured Seth. He took a deep breath as he looked back at me and Carlisle. "Ok, I'll do it."

"Great," I cheered. "Now all you need to do is decide who you want to replace you as head of your department here and hire you a staff in Forks."

"I have to decide my replacement?" he asked, gulping thickly. "How am I supposed to decide who is taking my job?"

"The same way I did," I said, shrugging my shoulder. "Flip a coin."

"Bitch," smiled Seth.

"Love you, too, Seth," I smiled. "You work with those guys everyday. You know better than anyone who is going to be able to handle the responsibilities of running that department and dealing with me on a more personal basis. I trust you, Seth, to make the right choice."

"As long as there is no pressure," he muttered.

"There isn't," I said. "If you honestly can't decide in two weeks, then I will make the decision based on your evaluations, their work histories, and experience, but I think you need to be able to leave here knowing that you are leaving your team in the best hands possible."

"I hate when you are so fucking smart," sighed Seth. "Ok, I'll let you know next week so that whoever takes my place can have some time to get a feel for the job before Tanya and I leave for Forks."

"All kidding aside," I smiled. "We are really happy for you both. Ben and Ang are two of our closest friends and we are so happy that you've finally gotten your heads out of your asses and taken the big step."

"Let's just hope that it's not too bumpy," said Tanya. "Because from what Angela and Ben told us, Robert and Ann aren't too happy with them being with us."

"Give them time," I said, reaching across the table and grabbing her hand. "Trust me on this one, sometimes you just have to let them get used to the idea."

"We hope so," she murmured.

Once we were finished with our lunch and Carlisle had paid our bill, insisting that he takes care of it of course, we all headed back to work. I hugged Tanya and whispered how happy that I was happy for her. I really was. She and Seth had been skirting on the line with Angela and Ben for way too long and they needed to find the strength to take the big step. As I settled behind me desk and went back to work, I just hoped that Robert and Ann Weber would get over their problem with their relationship and accept them. After dealing with that myself, I hated the idea of them going through that, too.

Just before five, I gathered up the mountain of paper work I still had to work on and headed down to the elevator. It seemed like there was never enough time in the day to get everything done and each day seemed to bring even more work for me to do. Alice and Jasper were standing next to the elevator with Embry. Jasper took one look at the stack of papers in my arms and sighed.

"Long day, Beautiful?" he asked, pulling the stack out of my arms.

"No, just a busy one," I sighed. "Thought I might try to get some work down before the girls' dance class."

"How are they liking ballet?" asked Embry, stepping into the elevator with us.

"They love it," smiled Alice. "Both of them and Jocelyn have really enjoyed their teacher, as well."

"That's great," said Embry. "I'm thinking of teaching Clay to paint."

"I haven't painted in so long," I murmured.

"Me either," sighed Embry. "You should try to get back into it, though."

"Maybe," I murmured.

Embry headed over to his car while Jasper, Alice, and I headed over to mine. When we got back home, Edward had the boys napping in the playpen while the girls worked on their homework at the dining room table. Who ever heard of homework for kindergarteners? While Alice and Jasper headed into the kitchen to get dinner started, I settled in the chair next to my girls and started on my own work.

"Mommy, what are you doing?" asked Whitley. I smiled as I looked over at her.

"I have homework tonight, too," I said, sadly.

"Is it hard?" asked Mackenzie, looking up from her handwriting sheet.

"Yes," I sighed. "How about if you do mine and I will do yours?"

"No way," she scoffed.

"We will stick with ours," muttered Whitley.

"Smart choice, girls," laughed Edward. I pretended to glare at him. "Uh oh, girls, I think Mommy is mad at me. What should I do?"

"Get her a popsicle," cheered Mackenzie. I laughed as I looked at my beautiful daughter.

"A popsicle?" I asked. She nodded her head proudly.

"They are really good, Mommy," she explained. "Well, except for the yucky green ones. They don't taste very good."

"I see," I laughed, nodding my head and looked over at Edward. "Makes perfect sense to me."

"Me too," he chuckled, standing up.

Edward walked into the kitchen. When he came back, he was holding three popsicles, none of them were green. Both the girls cheered as he handed them a grape and orange one before handing me a cherry one, but not before he placed a kiss on my lips. Of course, that just made both the girls giggle as they ran out of the room with their popsicles glued to their hands.

"Hmm, thank you," I smiled, sucking on the tip of my cherry popsicle.

"You're welcome," he smirked, slipping into the seat next to mine. He reached up and pushed a strand of hair out of my face. "You look tired."

"I am tired," I sighed. "I have so much work to do and not enough time."

"You work too hard," he murmured, leaning on his hand as he looked at me.

"So do you," I smiled. "You do so much for the kids. Do we take advantage of you?"

"No," he said, quickly. "Baby-you, Alice, and Jasper do so much around here."

"Not nearly as much as you," I fretted.

"Maybe but you work full time," said Edward, placing his hand on top of mine. "Besides Alice and Jasper are making us dinner, you help get the girls ready for school. We do this together, Bella. All of us."

"I know," I murmured, reaching over and stroking his cheek. "Just promise me that if you ever feel like we aren't pulling our weight the kids that you will tell us, ok?"

"I promise," he smiled. "Will you promise me something?"

"What?" I asked.

"That you will kiss me," he said, coyly.

I leaned over and gently pressed my lips against his. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered, kissing me again. "Now get back to work."

"Yes, sir," I sighed, leaning back.

Edward went to find the girls while I went back to my paperwork. I could hear Edward and the girls giggling in the living room. I wanted to go in there and join them but I had budget reports and plans that needed to be approved. There were employee certifications to submit, building applications, and so much more. It never ended but it was my job and I loved it, most of the time at least.

"Hey, you still working?" asked Alice, coming into the dining room.

"Yeah," I sighed, looking up at her. "How was your day?"

"Busy," she said, sitting across from me. "I had a meeting all afternoon with Maria Flores. She can't seem to decide what she wants in her new house. One day it's soft and sexy, the next it's loud and abstract. She's driving me fucking insane."

"That woman is crazy," I muttered, looking down at the budget reports I was working on. "She's changed her budget like five times in the last month alone."

"I know, which makes it really hard to be able to design anything for her because I don't know what I can spend," explained Alice. "Plus, today she had her latest boy toy on the phone with her, trying to tell me about office she is setting him up with. He wants western but modern. What the hell is that?"

"I don't know," I snorted, looking up at her. "Cowboy boots and chrome?"

"Nice," smiled Alice. "I'm going to suggest that to him."

"Let me know what he says," I laughed.

I put my work on hold and headed into the kitchen to have dinner with everyone. The girls entertained us with stories of which boys at school chased them on the playground, which only made me and Alice laugh. Edward and Jasper didn't find it nearly as cute as we did. Edison and Jackson spent the entire meal, dropping their toys off the side of the tray. I watched as Edward and Alice picked them up over and over, making the boys giggle harder and harder. It was the game that never seemed to get old to them.

Once dinner was over, Alice and I took the girls upstairs and got them ready for their dance class. They choose to wear their pink tights and pink leotards. Alice and I got their hair put up in their buns and loaded them into the car and headed down to the studio, leaving Edward and Jasper at home with the boys. I tried not to think about how much work I still needed to do but my girls were more important. We pulled up in front and ran the girls inside. Ms. Di was waiting for them in the front room, big smile on her face.

"Hello, girls," she smiled.

"Hi, Ms. Di," they said together. Whitley and Mackenzie settled on the floor and slipped on their ballet slippers.

"Where are those adorable little boys of yours?" asked Ms. Di, placing her hands on her slender hips.

"They are at home with Edward and Jasper," smiled Alice.

"They so adorable," sighed Ms. Di, shaking her head as she looked down at the girls. "Well, are we ready to begin?"

The girls nodded their heads as they picked up their dance bags and headed inside the studio. Alice and I headed upstairs to the observation room and joined the other four moms in the room, including Rose and Kate. Alice and I took the seats next to them.

"Cutting it kind of close, weren't you?" teased Rose.

"Yes, but traffic was horrible," I muttered, looking over at her.

"When is it not here," she snorted.

"Good point," I laughed.

Kate had her hand laying on Rose's thigh, which seemed to bother the other moms. They were looking back and forth between my sister and her wife with looks of shock and scandal on their faces. I rolled my eyes and looked out the glass window and down at our girls. Why wasn't I surprised that they would be looking at them like that?

Alice slipped her hand into mine, drawing my attention to her. She discretely looked from me to them and back before bringing my hand up to her lips and placing a kiss on my knuckles. I smiled as I pulled our hands over to my lips and kissed her knuckles, silently telling her that there was no way in hell we were letting them bother us.

As the girls' class went on, Alice and I kept our hands clamped together. We made small talk with Kate and Rose about Halloween and work. Kate's little bookstore was doing quite well and Rose had started working with her, since both Jonah and Jocelyn were in school all day and she was bored. The whole time we were talking, I noticed the other moms were still looking over at us, even if they were trying to be more careful about making it obvious, anyway. Of course we could hear them whispering, even if we couldn't make out what they were saying.

When Ms. Di released the girls, the other moms raced down the stairs, grabbed their daughters, and rushed out of the studio without as much as a word to Ms. Di. She didn't seem too upset about this, however, and bid us a good night once the girls had changed into their street shoes. Alice and I hugged Rose, Kate, and Jocelyn goodnight and headed back home.

The girls were exhausted so we carried them straight up to their rooms, changed them into their pajamas and tucked them into bed. As much as I wanted to go to bed, I still work to do. So I changed into my pajamas and headed downstairs to the dining room. I settled down at the table and started working. I hadn't been in there more than a few minutes when Jasper brought me a cup of coffee, made just the way I liked it. He kissed me before he headed into the living room and joined Alice and Edward. I was lucky to have them all in my life.

Just after midnight, I finally called it a night and packed up all my work. I headed into the kitchen and poured out my cold coffee and rinsed out my cup, leaving it in the sink. I headed upstairs to our bedroom and joined Alice, Edward, and Jasper in bed.

"Did you get everything done?" whispered Edward, slipping his arm around my waist. I sighed as I nestled myself into him.

"Almost," I murmured.

"Good," he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of my neck. "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight," I said, softly.

"We love you," said Jasper, reaching across Edward and Alice and placing his hand on my hip.

"Both of you," murmured Alice, placing her hand on his. I laid my hand on top of theirs and smiled.

"We love you, too," I smiled.

Holding onto the hands of my lovers, I drifted off to sleep.

**Thank you for all the reviews.**


	10. Chapter 10

**EPOV**

"DADDY!" screamed Mackenzie.

A blood curdling scream that sent fear pulsating though my body. I rushed out the bedroom, pulling my white dress shirt up over my shoulders, and down the hallway to the girls' room. They were both standing in the middle of what looked like every piece of clothing they owned, wearing nothing but their Barbie panties. I quickly gave them both the once over, making sure that neither of them were bleeding or had a broken bone that caused the ear shattering scream that left my daughter's lips.

"Why are you screaming, Mackenzie?" I asked, shortly. Mackenzie bit her lip as she looked up at me, clearly unsure if she was in trouble or not.

"I can't find my purple tights," she whispered, lip trembling. Relief flooded through me; neither of my girls were hurt, just overly dramatic.

"Gees, Mack," I muttered, shuffling into the room. "That was no reason to scream like the house was on fire. You almost gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she whimpered, blinking back her tears. I reached out and brought her into my arms for a hug.

"It's ok, just don't scream like that unless it's a real emergency, ok? Your Mommies, Daddy, and I need to know when you are hurt or sick, not when you can't find your tights," I explained.

"Ok, Daddy," she muttered, sheepishly.

"Now, your tights are downstairs on the dryer," I said, looking from her to Whitley, who was pulling on a pair of blue jeans. "After school, you both are cleaning up this room or you don't get to go to Uncle Embry and Uncle Jared's tonight. Deal?" I asked.

"Deal," they said.

"Ok, finish getting ready for school," I smiled.

Mackenzie took off out of the room, probably in search of her purple tights, while Whitley pulled out her favorite shirt, a yellow t-shirt with a bumble bee on the front, from the pile on the floor. I almost told her that it was too wrinkled to wear, knowing that Alice wouldn't like it, but decided this was just one battle that I wasn't going to fight with her. I headed back into our bedroom to finish getting ready for my day at work with Bella.

Today, she and I were meeting with that scum sucker James Altman to find him the best property for his porn shop. I hated him with a fiery passion, even though I had just met him. The way he stared at Bella, ogling her, made me sick but Bella insisted that his business would be good for her company and, as much as I hated it, she was right. Didn't mean I had to like it and I made sure she knew it, too. She agreed with me that James was a scum sucker but here we were, still doing this project with him. At least we could do it together, that made things a hell of a lot easier for me to handle.

"Everything ok?" asked Jasper, walking out of the bathroom. "Mack's not dying, is she?"

"No," I snorted, pulling a dark blue tie from my closest. "Apparently, she and Whitley decided to destroy their room in search of her purple tights."

"Little drama queen," he laughed.

"She is," I smiled. "But she's our little drama queen, right?"

"She most certainly is," murmured Jasper, coming over and wrapping his arms around me from behind. "I've missed you in a suit."

"You have?" I murmured, placing my hands on his. Jasper slipped his fingers inside my shirt, toying with chest.

"Mmmhmm." Jasper ran his lips along my neck. "You look sexy."

"So do you," I whispered, turning in his arms and kissing him. Jasper's tongue darted into my mouth, filling me completely as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Ok, break it up, you two," laughed Alice, coming into our bedroom. Jasper and I looked over at her. "You will have plenty of time for that tonight but right now, we need to head into the office, Jas."

"Ok," he sighed, looking back at me. "I'll see you later, Babe."

"Love you," I murmured.

"Love you, too," he smiled, kissing me again. He pulled back and I went over to Alice, pulling her into my arms and kissing her deeply. She moaned, sliding her tongue into my mouth. Jasper cleared his throat and she pulled back, panting as she looked over at him. "Thought we needed to go?"

"We do but I really don't want to now," smiled Alice. She turned back to me. "More later, lover."

"You bet your pretty ass there will be more later," I winked, grabbing her ass through the skirt she was wearing.

Alice moaned, pulling herself out of my arms. I would most definitely pay for that later but for now, I was going to enjoy teasing her. It's not like she and Bella hadn't tease the fuck out me and Jasper every chance they got. Jasper slipped his arm around her waist and headed downstairs with her. A moment later, I heard his truck roar to life as they left for the office. I finished getting dressed and headed downstairs. Bella was standing in the living room with Renee and Peter, balancing the boys on her hips while trying to get the girls to get their shoes on. They, however, were ignoring her.

"Girls, move it," I said, calmly. Both girls scurried to their feet and started putting on their shoes. Bella turned and frowned at me.

"That's not fair," she muttered as I took Jackson from her. "They wouldn't listen to me."

"It's because you were saying please," I smiled. "They don't listen to please."

"Whatever," said Bella, picking up her purse. "Let's just go."

Renee and Peter were biting back their laughter at Bella, who noticed but didn't say anything to them. The only reason they listened to me like that was because we've had many days were I sat here, nearly screaming at them to get a move on. We were working on it and the girls were starting to realize that when I said now, I meant five minutes ago.

"Thanks again for keeping the boys for us," I said, shifting Jackson into Peter's arms while Bella handed Edison over to Renee.

"Of course," smiled Renee, kissing his chubby little cheek. "Just have a nice day and don't worry about anything. We are going to take the girls to school, then take the boys to the park, let them get all dirty just in time for you to get home, Edward."

"Gee, thanks, Renee," I snorted, kissing her cheek. "What would I do without you?"

"Have less work to do," she smiled. Peter laughed, placing his hand on the small of her back.

"And have one less mother in law to deal with," he smirked.

"We are not that bad," huffed Renee, yet her eyes were full of amusement.

"Of course you're not, Mom," said Bella, dryly. She turned to the girls, pulling them into her arms for a hug. I'll admit to admiring her ass as she bent over. "Be good girls. Love you."

"Love you, too, Mommy," they both murmured, hugging Bella.

I hugged them both and kissed their cheeks, causing them to giggle like the adorable little girls they were. Bella and I headed out to her car and climbed in. As she headed down to the first lot we were showing James, I thought about how odd it felt not to be in the van. I had become so accustomed to driving it that riding in Bella's car, made me feel different.

Bella pulled up in front of the first place about ten minutes later. There was a tall, red headed woman with bright blue eyes leaning against the side of her black sports car. She brought the cigarette in her hand up, taking a deep drag as Bella and I climbed out of the car. She looked over at the two of us, and started laughing.

"Well, well, well," she said, placing her hand on her hip as she stepped away from the vehicle. "If it isn't Edward Cullen. I didn't think you were working anymore. Too busy taking care of all those kids."

"As soon as I heard Bella was dealing with you, Mags, I made myself available," I smirked, moving over and kissing her cheek. "Been awhile."

"Too long," Maggie O'Brian smiled, bring her hand up to my face. "You look good, though. Almost like you don't spend all day up to your elbows in poopy diapers."

"Could you stop flirting with my husband, Margaret?" asked Bella, smiling as she slipped her arm around my waist. "What would Liam think?"

"That I have great taste," smirked Maggie, leaning across me and kissing Bella's cheek. "But you already know that."

"I do," smiled Bella, looking up at me. Maggie stepped back and pulled another drag on her cigarette, ignoring the looks that came from both me and Bella. She knew we didn't like her smoking.

"So, where is this client that you are meeting?" asked Maggie. "James…whatever his last name was?"

"He's-"

"I'm here," sang James, wrapping his arms around Bella and pulled her away. My vision turned red as I glared at him. Bella reared back and elbowed him in the gut, hard. James dropped his arms from around her, gasping for air. "Damn, Bella, I was just kidding."

"Keep your goddamn hands off me," hissed Bella, pushing him away from her. "Or I swear to fucking Christ, I will cut your cock off and feed it to the closest dog I can find."

"Wow," snorted Maggie, dropping her smoke on the ground and stepping on it. "Your girl has balls, Edward."

"I know. Big ones," I smirked. I stepped over, pulling Bella against me as I glared at James. "Touch her or Alice and I will fuck you up."

"God, you both are so fucking dramatic," James sighed, still rubbing the spot on his stomach.

"What the fuck ever," muttered Bella, turning away from him.

She was shaking against me and I could tell she was still shaken up. Even though it had been seven years since Alex's attack, she still didn't like people grabbing her like that. Just one more way James was a fucking asshole. I leaned down to her ear and whispered just loud enough for her to hear, "It's ok, love."

"Let's get started," said Bella, squeezing my hand to tell me that she heard me. She wouldn't say anything in front of Maggie or James. She would keep her mask on until she either dealt with the feelings inside, or shared them. I understood that.

"Ok," murmured Maggie, smiling softly.

Bella took my hand in hers, which was uncharacteristic for her to do while working, and we followed Maggie into the large field. James followed us without saying anything. I was grateful because the last thing I wanted was to beat his ass; my wife needed me right now.

"So this lot is around 20,000 sqft," said Maggie, turning back to us. "It used to be a small clothing store but the owner passed away and his son closed it and tore down the original building."

"Is this going to be big enough for my building?" asked James, looking back at Bella.

"Yes, we can set the building up on the back side, and give you a large parking lot for all the pervs to come. It would be discreet enough that nobody will be able to make them out if they are seen from the main road," said Bella.

"They aren't pervs, Bella," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Besides, I remember a night or two that you, me, and Al came to a few these types of places."

"Of course, you do," she said, dryly. "Alice and I needed to find ways of keeping each other satisfied, didn't we? Lord knows, you didn't take care of her needs."

"Damn, huge balls, that one," laughed Maggie.

"Seems to me, Bella," said James, shortly as he turned and headed to his car. "If you were taking care of her needs, she wouldn't have so eager to fuck me when we were together."

"Funny, how she always came back to me, though," snapped Bella. James waved her off as he opened his car door.

"Let's go to the next place. This one isn't right," he snarled. Bella took off to our car and I looked over at Maggie, who was stifling her laugh as much as she could.

"Fuck, Edward, I've missed working with you and Bella, together," she murmured.

"Yeah, me too," I muttered.

Maggie headed over to her car while I headed over to where Bella was waiting for me. As we climbed into the car, she started muttering under her breath about what a horses ass he was and how she wished the earth would open up and swallow him hole. I didn't disagree with her, but it wasn't like Bella to talk like this about anyone, with a few exceptions of course. I reached over and grabbed her hand as we followed Maggie.

"Talk to me," I murmured.

"I hate that son of a bitch," she said, looking over at me. "I really fucking hate him."

"Then let him go," I urged. "We don't need his business."

"It's going to open a whole new area up for us," she sighed, looking back at the road. I shook my head as I looked out the window.

"We don't need it that much," I countered.

"Edward, it's going to give us more than just revenue," she said. "Not that we can't use that with the economy the way it is but it's going to open us to more than hotels, house, and the occasional shopping mall."

"I know," I muttered, "but if he puts his hands on you again, I'm going to fucking rip his cock off and shove it in his mouth."

"I believe you, Baby," smiled Bella, looking back over at me. "But I don't want you touching anybodies cock but Jasper's."

"Me either," I smirked. Bella parked behind Maggie and cut the engine. I leaned over and pressed my lips against hers. "I trust you, Bella. I just don't trust him."

"I don't trust him either," she murmured. "Now, let's get this shit done so we can leave this asshole."

I laughed as I climbed out of the car and followed Bella over to where James and Maggie were waiting, standing a good ten feet apart. Maggie gave us a look that clearly said she thought he was an asshole, too. James turned and looked around the lot, which was just a little bigger than the first one but not nearly in as nice of an area as the previous one. James didn't say much as he looked around the lot.

By the time we got ready to leave the fifth lot on the list, my patience with him was wearing thin. He found something wrong with each and everyone of them. From them being too in the open to too closed off, from being too flat and boring to being too hillish and elaborate. Even when Bella told him that part of plans was to make the curb appeal custom to his idea, he wasn't convinced that any of the lots were good enough. Bella told him to think about them again and let her know in a few days if she needed to find some more. I could tell she was getting irritated.

Once James left, Bella and I bid Maggie goodbye and left. Bella still had some things to do at work so she dropped me off at the house and headed back to the office. She worked too hard. I headed inside and found Renee and Peter sitting on the couch. They looked over at me and smiled.

"Where are the boys?" I asked, looking around.

"Napping," smiled Renee, standing up. "By the time we got home from the park, they were passed out in the backseat. They played hard."

"They usually do," I chuckled. I walked them both over to the front door. "Thanks again for watching them."

"Anytime," giggled Renee. "Give the others our love, ok?"

"I will," I said, kissing her cheek.

Renee and Peter left and I headed into the kitchen. I picked up the phone and called Jasper, while getting the boys' lunch ready.

"Hello."

"Hey, Jas," I said, tucking the phone between my head and shoulders. "Everything ready for tonight?"

"Yes, Jared and Embry are going to come get the girls at seven. Carlisle's getting the boys at 6:30. We will be home promptly at 7:15, and then it's show time," he said, quietly. "Are you ready?"

"Fuck yeah," I laughed. "I've been thinking of this all fucking week."

"Me too," he chuckled. "I've gotta go but I'll see you later."

"Ok, love you," I murmured.

"Love you, too," he said, softly.

As I hung up the phone, I heard the boys start waking up. I put the phone on the counter and went to get them. Tonight was going to be epic.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Please, keep them coming. A few recs for you my lovelies. First, A Sub Search by the amazing TeamAllTwilight. She just won a contest with this little tale. She is turning it from a one-shot to a full story so be watching for it. Next, I have Finding Our Home y KinkyMommy. All I can say is Emmett, Carlisle, Jasper, Peter, and Bella. Enough said. Lastly, but certainly not least, Broken Angel by Carlislelover83. Get your tissues ready for this one, girls, cause it's a sad but great story so far. All of these, and so many more great ones, can be found under my favorites. **

**I know I hadn't updated anything in a week but things were crazy here. My daughter spent three days in the hospital and we've been trying to get our heads back on straight sense we came home yesterday. Thank you for having patience with me. **


	11. Chapter 11

**BPOV**

I leaned back in my chair and ran my hands over face, trying to wipe away my exhaustion. Today had been one of the longest days in my life, and I've had plenty of long days. Our meeting with that asshole James hadn't been want I wanted it to be at all. The moment he put his arms around me, fear surged through me. It had been many years since I had felt like that. The last time I truly felt that scared was that night in the parking garage with Alex. I shuddered as I dropped my head down onto my desk. The last thing I wanted to think about was that son of a bitch.

Edward had been pretty clear about his feeling on our business relationship with James Altman. So had Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, Renee, Esme, and every other person in our family. None of them thought that I should have taken on this account and I was starting to think they were right. As good as it was for the company, maybe it would be better to just cut him loose and let him find someone else. That son of a bitch wasn't worth losing my sanity over.

Besides, it's not like we weren't neck deep in accounts as it was. With Seth leaving in a couple of weeks, I was going to be even busier trying to find a replacement for whoever he decided to promote up, over seeing their orientation, and making sure their transition into our family here at Cullen Architecture goes as smoothly as possible. I sighed as I picked up my pen and looked back down at the papers in front of me. Another day, another dollar.

"You work too hard."

I smiled as I looked up at Jasper, who was standing in the doorway to my office. He was leaning casually against the doorframe, lazy smirk resting on his face. My face heated up, like it did every time he, Edward, or Alice looked at me. Jasper knew exactly how hard it was to resist that sexy ass smirk.

"I have a lot to do," I smiled, leaning back in my chair. "How was your day?"

"No work talk," he said, pushing off the doorframe. He strode over to my desk and closed the file I had been working on. "It's time to go home."

"I still have work to do," I said, frowning. Jasper knelt down next to me, bringing his hand up to the back of my neck.

"Baby, it's Friday night and we are going to go home and enjoy a nice, quiet evening with our lovers. Ok?"

Closing my eyes as I felt my body relax under Jasper's touch, I murmured, "Ok."

Jasper leaned up and brushed his lips against mine before standing up. I locked the files up in my desk and followed him down to the elevator. Alice was waiting for us with a huge smile on her face. She was so beautiful. A few minutes later, the three of us climbed into the car and headed home. Home to Edward.

Jasper pulled the car up in the driveway and climbed out. Alice and I had barely climbed out of the car when Edward threw the front door to the house open, rushing down to us. He shared a look and small nod of his head with Jasper before kissing both me and Alice. They were up to something, I knew it. I just didn't know what they could be up to.

Alice and I followed Edward and Jasper into the house. My mouth fell open as I gasped, probably sucking in every ounce of oxygen out of the room. The entire living room was covered in roses, a mixture of mine and Alice's favorites; blush for Alice and blue for me. Edward had some music playing softly in the background and there was a table in the middle of the living room, covered in a white table cloth and our wedding china. It was a little cliché but still the sweetest thing I had ever seen.

"What is going on here?" I asked, finally regaining some sense of myself as I looked at my two amazing husbands.

"Well, we like to call it dinner," smirked Edward, pulling my purse and briefcase out of my hands. "You won't be needing these tonight," he murmured, setting them under the table next to the door.

Grabbing my hand, Edward lead me further into the living room. Alice giggled as she and Jasper followed us in. Edward pulled out my chair for me and I blushed bright red as I slid into my seat. You would have thought that tonight was the first night I had met any of them with the way I was behaving. Alice took the seat next to mine. As the boys headed into the kitchen, she reached over and grabbed my hand.

"Did you know about this?" she asked, smiling.

"No," I murmured. "This must be why they were insisting that the girls go over to Embry and Jared's and the boys go with your parents."

Before Alice could say anything else, our men came out of the kitchen. Each of them were holding plates in their hands. Edward had a bottle of wine tucked under one arm. He set my plate in front of me before placing his own in front of the seat next to me. Jasper did the same with his two plates and sat down across from me. Edward opened the wine and poured us all a glass. As he sat down, I picked up my glass and took a sip.

"This is good," I said. "I can't remember the last time we just got to eat without cutting something up or spooning strained something into someone's mouth."

"No kid talk tonight," smiled Edward, pulling the cover off my plate. "Tonight is just about us."

"Is this…lobster alfredo?" I asked, looking down at my plate.

"Yep," smirked Edward.

"God, I've been craving this," moaned Alice, swirling some around her fork.

She brought it up to her mouth, wrapping her lips around the creamy food, seductively. Jasper pressed his lips together tightly as he watched her eat. I smirked as I leaned over and wiped the corner of Alice's mouth, wiping a smidge off. Jasper's eyes followed my finger as I brought it to my mouth and licked it off. He took a shallow breath as he pulled the cover off of his plate. Alice giggled as we started eating.

Dinner was peaceful, quiet for a change. We didn't talk about work or the kids, weekly plans or birthday parties. We enjoyed being with each other, loving one another. Just enjoyed being together. It was perfect and amazing. It made me realize how much I had really missed this with them. I loved our kids, more than anything, but I missed the quiet time we got to spend together. Once we were done eating, Jasper and Edward gave each other a look before standing up. They came around to us, Edward to me and Jasper to Alice, and held out their hands.

"Come on," murmured Edward.

I kept my eyes locked on his as I placed my hand in his, letting him pull me to my feet. He turned and led me over to the stairs, after Alice and Jasper. As we made our way upstairs to our bedroom, I couldn't help but wonder what they had planned. Knowing these two, it could be anything or everything. They were constantly surprising us.

Jasper stopped outside the door to our bedroom and looked back at us, smiling brightly. "Before we go in there, we have to tell you two the rules."

"Rules?" asked Alice, raising one of her beautiful eyebrows at him. "What rules?"

"First rule, neither you nor Bella are allowed to touch each other," smirked Edward, slipping his arms around my waist. "At least until we tell you that you can."

"What?" I asked. "That doesn't seem very fair."

"The second rule," continued Jasper, ignoring my pout, "is that you must do as we say."

"Or else the punishment will be swift," murmured Edward, running his nose up to my ear. I shivered just at the mere touch of him. "Any questions?"

Before Alice or I could answer them, Jasper opened the door to our bedroom and pulled the two of us in. I expected to see something out of the usual in here but everything looked just as it did. Well, expect for the two chairs at the end of the bed. Jasper and Edward pulled us over and gently pushed us into the chairs. I looked from them to Alice, who looked just as confused as I did about whatever they were planning.

Edward went over and shut the door to our bedroom, mostly out of habit I think, and turned back to Jasper. Smirking, he pulled out the small remote out of his pocket and turned on the stereo. The sexiest music started pouring out of the speakers and they both started moving their hips. Like my panties weren't already soaked, now they were dripping with need for them both. Jasper stepped up behind Edward, but looked right at me and Alice as he started unbuttoning Edward's white dress shirt.

He was moving slowly, too slowly, and it was driving me crazy. I found myself rubbing my thighs together, trying to sooth the burning ache that was building between my legs. I needed someone to touch me, or to at least touch someone. As Jasper finished Edward's shirt, I reached over and grabbed Alice's hand. Both Edward and Jasper stopped moving and looked at me, smirking.

"No touching," tittered Edward.

I pouted again as I pulled my hand out of hers, hearing her huff in annoyance. They could touch each other but we weren't allowed to do the same? It didn't seem fair to me. Edward smiled as he turned in Jasper's arms, snaking up hand up behind his head and fisting our lover's hair. I licked my lips as Edward pulled Jasper's head back and licked down his neck, savoring the flavor of his skin. My hand moved on its own to my breast as Edward slowly and methodically started removing Jasper's shirt. They were purposely egging us on, teasing us with each inch of skin they exposed. It was fucking delicious.

As Edward slipped Jasper's shirt off his arms, letting it fall to the floor, Alice reached over and placed her hand on my leg, slowly making her way up my thigh. She was almost at the edge of my panties when Jasper cleared his throat, nodding at the two of us. Edward smiled as he pulled away from our lover and walked over to the closest, letting his shirt hang open. He came back out a moment later with a handful of neckties. He tossed Jasper a few and they came over to us, binding our legs and arms to the chairs we were sitting in.

"No touching," he said, reminding us of the rules.

I bit my lip to stop myself from complaining. It wasn't like I wasn't enjoying the show we were getting. I was, I just needed to touch one of them or have them touch me. Jasper and Edward moved back to the middle of the room and started moving once again together. My fists were clenched into tight fists as I watched them, grinding against each other. My skirt had ridden up and was barely covering my thighs. I wanted to remove the blasted item and at least fuck myself while I watched them but seeing as I was tied to a chair, legs spread apart, all I could do was watch.

Slowly, Edward and Jasper removed each others clothing, giving us the most erotic strip show we've ever seen. I could vaguely hear Alice panting, murmuring under her breath about how sexy and hot our husbands were. I agreed with her, I just couldn't seem to get my voice to work at all. Edward pushed Jasper up against the wall and brought his lips down to Jasper's collar bone. From my seat, I saw Jasper's entire body shudder in response. My tongue snaked out across my lips as Edward started kissing and sucking his way down Jasper's body, taking in every inch of his luscious body.

"So fucking hot," moaned Alice. I tore my eyes off my lovers and looked over at her. She was watching them, eyes heavy with lust and need.

"Isn't he?" asked Edward. I snapped my eyes over to him. He was watching Alice and I from his knees. Jasper's hard cock was begging him to take him, suck him, feast on him. "What do you ladies want me to do to him?"

"Suck him," we said together.

Edward smiled and turned back to Jasper, who was watching him with hooded eyes. I watched as my husband leaned forward and took Jasper into his mouth, swallowing all of him down his throat. My breath caught in my chest and my panties because completely useless. Jasper moaned, laying his head back on the wall behind him. He moved one of his hands to the back of Edward's head, fisting his auburn hair tightly. I tried to pull my thighs together, desperately trying to sooth the burning ache or at least, get some much needed friction.

"Fuck, Edward," groaned Jasper, pumping his cock in and out of Edward's mouth. His eyes were locked on me and Alice.

Edward brought his hands up, grabbing Jasper's hips, popping him out of his mouth. Jasper was panting as Edward stood up and led him over to me. Smirking, he wrapped his hand around his cock and started stroking himself. He was torturing me, knowing how much I wanted to be the one touching him right now. Edward moved so that he was in front of Alice and started stroking himself.

"Closer," begged Alice, pulling on the ties around her arms.

She was straining, trying in vain to wrap her mouth around Edward's cock. Edward seemed to decide to give her a little mercy as he pushed her back in her chair and moved so that his cock was right outside of her lips. She smiled as she opened her mouth, letting him slid in between her lips and into her mouth. Edward moved one of his hands to he back of her head, controlling every thrust of his hips as he fucked her mouth.

I turned back to Jasper, who was watching me as I watched them. He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly asking me what I was going to do now. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and smiled, knowing how much Jasper enjoyed my innocent act. As I knew would happen, his cock twitched in his hand. He stepped up, bringing his cock right up to my lips. I snaked my tongue out, wrapping around his tip and lapping up the beads of cum that were bubbling at the tip.

"Oh, holy fuck," he groaned, placing his hand on the back of my head.

I smiled as I spread my lips, letting him slid deep into my mouth and throat. He moaned again as he hit the back of my throat. As Jasper started fucking my mouth, moaning and muttering under his breath about how good my mouth was, I was relishing in the amazing taste of his cock, knowing that Edward had just had his own mouth over it. Jasper was panting, gasping for air, and I knew he was getting close. Edward must have already had him on the edge. I shifted my eyes up to Jasper as I relaxed my throat and plunged him down my throat.

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck," he growled, releasing his cum down my throat. I swallowed every drop of it, lapping at the tip of his cock as he pulled it from my mouth.

Jasper didn't say anything else as he dropped to his knees in front of me. He slowly untied my ankles and gripped my knees in his hands, pulling me down in the chair, being careful of the bindings on my arms. He looked up at me as he snaked his hands under my skirt, gripped the sides of my panties. All too slowly, he slid them down my legs, tossing them over his shoulder. My skirt was now bunched up around my waist, exposing me completely to him. I was vaguely aware of Edward and Alice next to us, but my main focus was on Jasper.

He released my knees, only to lean forward and rip open my shirt. Buttons sprayed everywhere. Jasper gripped my white lace bra in his hands, pulling the cups down and releasing my breasts. He leaned in and sucked my nipple into his mouth, while palming my other breast. My head fall back and I clenched my fists, desperately wanting to feel his hair between my fingers. Jasper released my nipple, only to move his lips to my other nipple. I was barely hanging on and he had just started touching me.

Jasper pushed my shirt down my shoulders as he started kissing his way down my stomach, inching closer and closer to where I wanted him to be. Alice let out a loud moan and I looked over. Edward was kneeling between her legs, face buried in her. She was writhing around, pulling on her ties and begging him to make her cum. Edward peeked up at me and smirked, sucking her clit into his mouth. Alice cried out as she shook, nearly climaxing before he pulled back from her.

"Don't fucking stop," she yelled, pulling on the arms of the chair but she couldn't move.

As Edward bent back down and started licking her pussy again, I turned back to Jasper. He was kissing his way up my thigh, slowly edging closer to where I wanted him to be. Just as he was fixing to reach my pussy, he pulled back. I started to whine until he picked up my legs, positioning my feet on the edge of my chair.

"Don't let them fall," he ordered.

I couldn't seem to find my voice so I simply nodded my head, begging him to finally lick me, fuck me, do anything to help alleviate the ache I felt. Jasper tucked his arms around my legs, pushing them back as he leaned in. Slowly, much too slowly, he snaked his own tongue out and licked my slit. I barely kept my legs from falling right off the edge of the chair but I did. Jasper smiled against my lips before slipping his tongue between them, and thoroughly fucking me with his mouth.

You would have thought this was the first time I had ever had him tasting me, instead of the hundredth time he had. Maybe it was because he was slowly teasing me, prolonging the orgasm that was already building inside of me. I had been on the edge before he even touched me and now I was barely hanging on, not quite ready to allow myself to fall over the edge. Just as I was starting to lose control of myself, Jasper pulled back, leaving me panting and aching even more than I had been.

"More," I demanded.

"Soon," he murmured, leaning up and kissing me.

He stood up and turned my chair around so that I was facing the bed. Edward untied Alice's arms and legs from her chair. He lifted her up and carried her over to the bed. I expected Jasper to release me but he didn't. Instead, he climbed onto the bed with Edward and Alice. She laid there while they stripped off her clothes, leaving her as naked as they were. Both Edward and Jasper looked right at me as they moved her so that she was straddling Edward.

He pulled her down on his length, moaning at how tight she was. Alice whimpered as she leaned forward, letting Jasper climb up behind her. He kept his eyes locked on mine as he started working his fingers in and out of her, stretching her. Once she was ready, he placed the tip of his cock at her entrance and slowly pushed in.

All four of us moaned. Them from the pure pleasure they felt by being connected like they were and me from the sheer beauty from seeing my lovers come together like that. My feet were still perched on the edge of my seat and I could feel my own juices sliding out of me. Jasper and Edward started thrusting in and out of Alice, alternating strokes. She was moaning, whimpering with need to let her orgasm go. They had been teasing her just as they had been teasing me.

Over and over I watched as they took her body, made love to her. Over and over I watched as she came close to the edge only to be brought back before she could fall.

She and I were both panting heavily as Jasper leaned down to her ear, and whispered "Cum, Ali. Cum for us now."

Alice screamed as she finally let go and came for them, shuddering between them both. Jasper slowly pulled out of her, still hard and fully erect. Alice slid off of Edward and onto the bed. He rolled over and whispered how much we loved her, over and over as she came down from her pleasure induced high.

Jasper came over and pulled my feet off the chair. He untied my arms and lifted me up. He carried me over to the bed and laid me down, like they had down Alice. She was curled up in a ball, with a content smile on her face and a look of complete and utter joy. I kept my eyes locked on hers as Edward and Jasper stripped off the remainder of my clothes. Once I was completely naked, Jasper laid down on the bed next to me. I tore my eyes off of Alice and looked over at him. He was smiling. I crawled over and lowered myself down on him, sighing at the feeling of him being buried deep inside of me once again.

I leaned down and kissed him, offering Edward my ass as he climbed up behind me. His fingers probed me, stretching me for him. I pulled my lips from Jasper's as Edward placed the tip of his cock at my entrance, slowly pushing in until he was completely buried in me. I never got tired of feeling them inside of me like this. Not ever.

Edward slowly pulled out before pushing back in with a moan. Jasper went next, letting his own noises slip out of his lips. He had his hands resting on my hips, under Edward's hands. Slowly, they alternated strokes, one moving and than the other, until they had a good rhythm going. I could already feel my orgasm starting to build once again. I had been on the edge all night long and it wasn't going to take much for me to fall over the edge, even if I wanted to prolong this moment for as long as I could. They had been teasing me for far too long.

"Oh my fucking…fuck….FUCK!" I cried, shaking as my orgasm finally became too much for me to handle.

Edward quickly pulled out of me and I fell onto the bed next to Alice. She slipped her arm around my waist as Edward climbed onto Jasper, jerking his cock roughly. She brought her lips down to my shoulder as they both moaned, cumming all over their hands and each other's chests. It was fucking hot. Edward fell onto the bed next to Jasper, panting for air.

"Hmm, that was unexpected," I murmured, causing them both to look over at me and Alice. "Guess it's our turn next time, huh?"

"Your turn for what?" asked Jasper, smirking. I smiled as I leaned over and licked Edward's cum off his stomach, causing him to moan.

"To torture you a little," I murmured. "Just remember that Alice and I like to play rough."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry about the delay in updates but the last, oh, month has sucked ass. I got sick, then my computer decided it hated me. Like I said, it sucked ass. Hopefully, life will calm the hell down and I can actually get back to regular updates again. Please be patient while I work on getting caught up on all of my stories. Hope you enjoy this smut filled chapter just in time for the new year. I dedicate this chapter to timidvampire and all my girls over on Twilight FanFic Addicts Facebook page. Have you checked them out yet? If not, do so. They have some great recs. Now, for my own rec, I am suggesting that you go read Life is What Happens by stillwater72. It can be found under my favs. Only a few chapters in but really good so far.**


	12. Chapter 12

"You can't be fucking serious," I exclaimed, throwing my hands up as I fell back into my chair. Seth simply leaned back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest, and nodded his head. "You want to give your job to Tia?"

"Yes," he said, calmly. I gritted my teeth together as I stood up and walked over to my office door, shutting it. A little harder than I meant to, seeing as it slammed shut. "Bella-"

"She's not ready." I turned and faced him. He rolled his eyes as I moved over and took the seat next to him. "She's barely out of college, for fuck sake, Seth!"

"She's more than ready for the responsibility, Bella," he said, calmly. "She's a tough as nails bitch who won't let Corbin and John walk all over her. She kind of reminds me of you."

"Don't suck up to me," I scoffed, falling back into my seat. I brought my hands up, running them through my dark hair. Today had already been a long assed day and it wasn't over. Turning back to Seth, I sighed. "Are you sure that she is the person you feel is honestly ready for this position?"

"Bella, I've thought long and hard about this," started Seth. "The more I looked around at who was in my department and who I could trust with my team, the more I realized that Tia was the only person. She will not go easy on them and she will not put up with their crap."

"Ok, I'll trust that you know your team well enough to leave them in Tia's hands," I said.

"Thank you," he smiled. I shook my head as I turned in my seat and looked at him.

"You're really happy, aren't you?" I asked.

"Very," he said, smiling bigger. "I never knew it would be like this."

"What?" I asked. "Being in a hot foursome?"

"No, finding the people that make you…" Seth sighed as he tried to find the right word.

"I get it," I smiled. "It's like all of the sudden, everything just makes sense."

"Yeah," he murmured. "It scares me a little."

"What does?" I asked, placing my hand on his arm.

"The intensity," he said, looking up at me. "I haven't seen them in a week and I feel like my heart is going to explode. I miss them, both them and Caleb. Every night, Tanya and I lay in our bed, talking about how much we are looking forward to being with them again." Seth leaned forward, placing his face in his hands. I had never seen him so emotional before. "I love T, Bella, but…"

"Hey, you don't have to explain anything to me," I murmured, rubbing his back. "I get it."

"I know you do," he said, looking over at me. "Does it ever change?"

"No," I smiled, feeling my blush spread as I thought about our weekend. "Well, yes. You fall into a rhythm of balancing work, family, friendships, but the passion, it never goes away," I murmured, smiling. "At least for us, it hasn't."

"I hope it won't for us, too," whispered Seth. I took a deep breath as I stood up.

"Shall we go meet with Tia?" I asked.

"Yep," muttered Seth, standing up.

I picked up my coffee cup and followed him out of my office. Today had been a long day, and I was needing all the caffeine that I could get into my body. I had spent all morning in a meeting with accounting, trying to get budget reports filed for the upcoming quarter. It took us nearly four hours just to get through half of what I had. Tomorrow, we would be right back at it. My head was killing me, I was exhausted, and the day wasn't even close to being over for me.

Once I had refilled my coffee, I followed Seth down the hallway and over to Tia's office. Tia Sinclair was a tall, thin woman who was barely in her mid-twenties. She had long silky black hair and rich olive skin. I had hired her on here a little over a year ago after she completed her studies at Brown University. She had been highly sought after by several firms in the area but came straight to us, asking for a job. I was a little reluctant at first but she has fit in pretty well with our little family.

"Knock, knock," I smiled, rapping my knuckles on her door. Tia looked up at us and smiled. Her dark grey eyes sparkled. "You busy?"

"Nothing that I can't take a break from," she said, motioning for us to come in. Seth shut the door behind us and we settled down in front of her desk. "What can I do for you today?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about a new position here," I started. Tia's eyes widened as she looked from me to Seth. "Now, I know that you are not aware of this yet, but Seth is leaving us."

"What?" gasped Tia, bringing her hand up to her lips as she looked over at him. "Why?"

"My wife and I are moving out of state," said Seth, smiling.

"Right," I smiled, turning from him and back to Tia. "So this leaves me in quite the predicament. Who is going to take Seth's place here?"

Tia's forehead furrowed as she looked from me to Seth. I brought my coffee to my lips, taking a sip as she realized exactly what I was getting at. "NO!" she gasped, loudly. I smiled as I placed my coffee cup on the edge of her desk. "I'm not ready for that. Corbin or John should get the job. They've been here longer."

"And they are idiots," I chuckled. "Tia, I like Corbin and John, a lot. They are good guys, loyal to the firm, but neither of them can handle the responsibilities of this job."

"And you think I can?" she asked, leaning back. "I've been here a year. They both have almost ten years experience."

"Yes, and they are great at their jobs but they aren't right for running this department," said Seth. "I considered them, both of them, when Bella told me to pick who I thought was right for my replacement. After almost eight years of working with them, I know them both very well. They are good men, who work hard. They need someone who isn't going to take their shit. Someone who is going to make sure that her team gets their projects done in a timely manor, keeps them motivated, and won't treat them like they are a bunch of idiots. You can't honestly tell me that you think Corbin or John would be able to handle running this department without help?" asked Seth, raising his eyebrows at Tia.

She sighed as she leaned back in her seat. "But they won't be very accepting of my promotion over them. They've been here longer and won't think I've earned it."

"Yes, they will," I insisted. "If they say anything, I will set them straight. Ok?"

"Ok," she murmured. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I smiled, standing up. "Seth will spend the next week training you and then if needed, I will step in after he leaves. Nobody but me, Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice knows that Seth is leaving yet so let's wait until the staff meeting on Friday before we share the news of his departure and your promotion, ok?"

"Of course," she said, quickly. "Thanks again, Bella."

"Thank Seth," I chuckled. "He's the one giving you the job. I'm trusting him that you can do it."

Tia's eyes flew open as I turned and walked out of her office, laughing to myself, and leaving her and Seth watching me. Sometimes it was just too easy to mess with their heads. I stopped by the lounge again and refilled my coffee, inhaling the sweet aroma. My eyes felt like they were going to drop at any moment. Between a full weekend taking the girls to the park, shopping for new shoes, and taking care of the boys, I was exhausted. I didn't see how Edward did it all on his own all the time and I wasn't even alone. He went to the park with us, Alice went shoe shopping, of course, and Jasper helped with the boys Sunday morning. Not only that but I had been up late every night trying to finish everything for our end of the year review. I felt like a zombie.

"How many cups is that for you?" asked Carlisle. I turned and saw him standing in the doorway to the lounge, frown planted on his face.

"Five, six," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I've lost count."

Carlisle nodded his head as he came over and poured the rest of the coffee out. "I think you've had enough," he sighed.

"I have?" I asked as he reached out and pulled the cup out of my hand. "Hey, give that back, thief!"

"Bella-"

"Carlisle," I snapped, ripping the cup out of his hand. Amazingly, I didn't spill any on me. "You don't touch my coffee. We've had this conversation before."

"You need to let me help you," he said, seriously. I rolled my eyes. "Bella, please, you are wearing yourself out."

"I am fine," I insisted, stifling my yawn as much as I could. Carlisle motioned to the fact that I had just yawned. "I'm fine!"

"No, you're not," he whined. "I want to help."

"No," I sang, walking past him. "This is what you get for giving me your company."

Carlisle muttered something about me being a pain in his ass as I walked past him. I ignored him and made my way down to my office, shutting the door behind me. He was only trying to help, and I knew that, but I wasn't going to ask him for help, knowing that it would take time away from Esme, William, and Catherine. I settled down behind my desk, running my hand through my hair again. This was the moment I had been really dreading all day. The moment when I called James Altman and informed him that our dealings with him were now over.

It had been a very difficult decision for me but after thinking it over all weekend, and considering all the pros and cons, I knew that we had to put an end to our business relationship. There was simply no way that I could work with him when I didn't feel like I could trust him. It wasn't fair to Edward or to me to have to put ourselves in a position where neither of us felt comfortable with a client. James would just have to find someone new to take on his account. Dreading the conversation that I was fixing to have, I picked up my office phone and called James.

"This is James Altman," he said, smoothly as he answered the phone. I bit back my smart-assed remark. Like I didn't know who I was calling.

"James, it's Bella," I said. "Look-"

"Hey, Bella," he said, cheerfully. "I was hoping to talk to you today. I wanted to know when we were going to meet with the realtor….Meggy or whatever, about the other property on your list."

"Her name is Maggie," I said, gritting my teeth together. "That's what I needed to talk to you about."

"Ok, sorry. I knew it started with an M, though," he said, uncaringly. Closing my eyes, I brought my hand up to my forehead and tried not to scream at him that he was an idiot. "I've been thinking that we need to look for something in a nicer neighborhood than-"

"James," I snapped, interrupting him.

"What?" he asked, sounding aggravated.

"We are dropping your account," I said, quickly. I waited for him to say something, anything, but he didn't. The line was dead quiet. "James."

"No," he said, finally. "I won't let you drop me. I need you, Bella."

"No." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "James, I can't work with you. You don't respect my personal space, you make comments about mine and Alice's personal life. You bring up things from the past that should have stayed there and I won't do this anymore."

"Bella, I need you," he pleaded. "I can't trust anyone else with my store. It's my baby, my life."

"I'm sorry but I've made up my mind," I said, quietly. "I can refer you to another firm, if you would like."

"That's not what I would like," he hissed, tone turning harsh and cold. "I will not be working with another firm, Isabella. You will get your head out of your ass and finish the job I am paying you to do or I will make sure that you regret it!"

"You listen to me, you stupid motherfucker," I growled, gripping the phone tightly in my hand. "You do not tell me what to do. You should know better than anyone that I don't take kindly to that bullshit. Now, when you decide to act like a grown up and chill the fuck out, then I will refer you to a firm who can handle what you want and what you think you need."

"This is not the end, Bella," he snapped. "Do you fucking hear me?"

"Yeah, it is."

I dropped the phone onto the cradle and dropped my forehead onto my desk. That hadn't gone nearly as smoothly as I had been hoping it would but I should have known, I guess. This was James I was talking about and he was always the most selfish bastard. Always concerned more about what was in it for him than how Alice felt. I never understood what she saw him. Sure, he was handsome but his soul was ugly. I knew in this moment that I had made the right decision about dropping him.

"Hey, you ok?" asked Alice. I looked up and saw her standing in the doorway to my office, with Jasper behind her. Both of them were frowning, obviously concerned about the fact that I was laying my head down on my desk.

"I'm fine," I sighed, leaning back. "Just got off the phone with James."

"What did that asshole say when you dropped him?" asked Jasper, making no effort to hide his dislike for the man.

"He wasn't very pleased and tried to tell me that I was keeping his account," I said, dryly. "He always was an idiot."

"That he was," snorted Alice. "We are heading home."

"Ok, I should be home in a little while," I said, sadly, looking back at my phone. I still had a mountain of phone calls to make today. "I love you both."

"Love you, too," they both said.

"You work too hard," frowned Jasper. "Please consider letting Carlisle help more."

"I will," I murmured, knowing full well that I wouldn't.

Neither Jasper nor Alice believed me as they rolled their eyes and left my office. It wasn't that I was opposed to help, but more of the fact that I knew it was my job. Carlisle had spent almost thirty years running this company on his own. He deserved to enjoy his new position and get all the free time with his lovers. I wouldn't do that to him, no matter how busy I was.

As everyone drifted out of the office and headed home for the day, I found myself on the phone. I called three different contractors we were working with, who were behind on our projects, and put the fear of God into them. Ok, so maybe not but I made it clear that I had better see some progress on these projects or I was going to come to the sites personally and oversee their work. None of them wanted that to happen and quickly said 'Yes, ma'am, we'll get right on top of it.' All three contractors knew me well enough to know that I would follow through with my threat and they wouldn't be happy.

After I got done with them, I started going over the stack of plans that needed validated before we could present them to our clients. I trusted most of the people on our team to do their own plans and present them to clients but for our newest Architects, I felt better about approving their plans ahead of time. It was a safety net for them and me and my company.

I had been working for a few hours when I heard the elevator stop and the doors slid open. The clock said that it was just after eight in the evening so I wasn't sure who in the hell would be here this late. I stood up from my desk, grabbing the first thing my hand touched, and prepared to defend myself. My body was shaking as fear and adrenaline surged through my body. I stepped away from my desk as I noticed a shadow making it's way down the hallway toward my office. I scooted backwards until my back was flush with the wall behind me.

"Bella, are you in there?" I let out the breath that I had been holding as Edward rounded the corner and came into my office. He was smiling until he saw me pressed up against the wall. "Why do are you holding your stapler up like you are going to bash my head in?"

"Because I am going to for scaring the fucking shit out of me," I muttered, tossing the silver stapler onto my desk. "What are you doing here?"

"I am dragging my beautiful wife home," he smiled as he came around the desk and pulled me into his arms. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," I murmured, laying my head on his chest. "But you could have called."

"You would have just said that you were almost done and that you were on your way," he said, "Then I would have had to wait two more hours before you got home and I am impatient today."

"I've got a lot of work to do," I frowned.

"Work that can wait till tomorrow or that you could share with Carlisle," he whispered, moving his lips down to my neck. I moaned, offering him as much of my neck as I could give him. "Your skin tastes delicious."

"Edward," I moaned, bringing my hands up to his hair, pulling his head back.

He looked down at me, lust and need oozing off of him. Crushing my lips to his, I pushed my body into his. Edward moaned again, pressing me against the wall. I could feel his erection growing between us. I slid my hand down his body and palming him through his jeans. Edward thrust his hips into my hands, moaning against the side of my neck.

"Bella," he groaned. "Baby, I need you now."

I leaned up, sucking on his earlobe. "Take me, lover," I whispered. Edward shivered around me. "Take me hard."

Edward turned and captured my lips with his, trusting his tongue into my mouth. His hands roamed up my body, until he had reached the top of my cream colored blouse. Gripping it tightly in under his nimble fingers, he ripped my shirt open, spraying buttons everywhere. I moaned into his mouth, which just spurred him on even more. In a fury, we tore each other's clothes off, ignoring the ripping of fabric and not caring where our shoes landed. I pushed Edward into my chair and straddled his legs, slowly lowering myself down onto him.

"Fuck," we both muttered.

"Baby, you feel so fucking good," he groaned, palming my ass in his large hands. I lifted up and slid back down, hissing at how much he filled me. "Oh Jesus fuck!"

As I slowly took Edward in and out of my body, I slid my hands into his hair, gripping his auburn locks tightly. He was gripping my ass so hard that I was sure I would have bruises in the morning but I didn't really care right now. My focus was on the man who was fucking me hard and fast, taking my body and using it for his own pleasure. My own pleasure.

Edward leaned up and took my nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. I cried out but was unable to actually say anything. Edward's mouth on any part of my body often made me incoherent and this was no different. I could feel my orgasm building, slowly driving me closer to the edge. Edward released my nipple and snaked his hand between us, finding my clit. The moment his fingers touched me, my orgasm shattered, sending me spiraling over the edge.

"OH FUCK!" I screamed, throwing my head back and thrusting down on him wildly.

"Bella, fuck," growled Edward, stilling his hips as he came inside of me.

I fell forward, dropping my head into the crook of his neck as we both panted for air. It certainly wasn't the first time we had had sex in this office or in any office here but it had been awhile and I had missed it. Missed him being here all the time. Edward turned and pressed his lips onto the side of my head, sighing in contentment.

"That was incredible," he murmured. I smiled against the side of his neck.

"It was pretty amazing, wasn't it?" I asked. I leaned back, looking at him. "I've missed this. You and Me."

"Me too," he whispered. "You work too hard." I sighed as I climbed off of Edward and went in search for my clothes. "Bella-"

"I know that I work too hard," I said, pulling my panties on. "But I have a company to run, four kids to help raise, three spouses to keep happy. I am doing the best I can!"

"I didn't mean that you weren't making us or the kids happy, love," said Edward, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me. "I just don't want you to miss out on watching the kids grow up because you are overloading yourself here at work."

"Do you think I am missing them growing up?" I asked, sadly.

"Not yet," he murmured. "Let Carlisle or someone help you with everything. Please?"

"It's my job," I whispered, turning and laying my head on his bare chest.

"It doesn't make you weak to ask for help."

"Doesn't it?" I muttered, feeling my old insecurity creping up on me.

"No, it makes you strong to admit that raising four wonderful kid, having three spouses, and still running a company is hard work," he sighed. "Bella, when we first got married you told all of us here at the company that we were a family. Let your family here help you. There is no reason why you can't let Carlisle help you with the mountain of paper work that you have or with going over the stack of plans that need to be approved."

"I know," I whispered. "I just don't like needing help."

"I know," he murmured. "Let's go home. Your work can wait until tomorrow."

"Ok," I sighed.

Edward and I quickly pulled on the rest of our clothes. His t-shirt had a huge tear in it from when I ripped it off of him and my blouse and bra were completely ruined but it was ok. I had a sweater in my office. I locked everything up and we headed down to the elevator. I left my car in the garage and climbed in with Edward. As we drive home, neither of us seemed to notice the black car following us.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know.**


	13. Chapter 13

Early Friday morning, I slipped out of bed before my lovers did and got ready for work. I had a long day ahead of me, another long day in a series of long days. The last couple of evenings had found me at the dining room table, drowning in a sea of papers and a large pot of coffee next to me. I could hear the girls in the living room squealing as Jasper and Edward tickled them, and the harmonious giggles as Alice played with the boys. Jealousy surged through me because Edward was right; I was missing my children growing up.

Smoothing out my charcoal grey pencil skirts, I walked out of our bedroom and out into the hallway. I stopped in front of the doorway to the boys' room first and checked on them. They were snug as they could be in their cribs, breathing softly. They were so handsome. Jackson's dark black hair was already sticking up, much like Edward's always seemed to do. Edison's brown hair was matted down onto his forehead. Why did it seem like they had grown a foot over the last couple of weeks?

Sighing to myself, I pushed away from their room and walked down the hallway to the girls' room. Whitley and Mackenzie were sound asleep but they were both in Mackenzie's bed. Whitley must have had another nightmare and crawled into bed with her sister. She had been having more nightmares than ever. Was she projecting her feelings of my abandonment into her dreams? Had I abandoned my children for my job?

Guilt ate away at me as I turned away from the door and headed down the stairs, leaving all my loved ones laying peacefully in their beds. Gathering my briefcase and my arms full of paperwork, I headed out to my car and down to the office, preparing for yet another long day at work.

The building was dark as I came in, flipping on lights as I made my way down the hallway to my office. I always got an uneasy feeling about this place when I here by myself, especially after the accident. It was like I could feel someone watching me, all the time. My skin crawled at the idea of someone watching, hiding in the shadows, biding their sweet time. I pushed those feelings away as I headed down to the staff lounge and started the coffee. As I waited for the coffee to brew, I went through my day in my head.

The first item on my agenda was to get the last of the budget reports done so that I could submit them all down to accounting. After that, we had a staff meeting and I was going to announce Tia's promotion and Seth's departure from our firm. I wasn't entirely sure how everyone was going to take him leaving, since he had been a huge part of our family here at the firm for the last eight years, but I also understood that he and Tanya needed to do this. Not only for them but for Caleb, who was ready for this change in his life. Personally, I was thrilled for my friends. They had finally admitted what the rest of us had been seeing for the last few years.

After the staff meeting, I needed to go out and check on a few sites that have been lacking in progress over the last few weeks. Sometimes, they just needed to know that I wasn't going to put up with all that bullshit, just so they could make a few extra bucks. They were going to do it my way, on my schedule unless they had a damn good reason to be more than three weeks behind. I poured myself a cup of coffee and headed back down to my office and started working on the last twenty or so budget reports that were left.

I had been at my desk for about an hour when I heard the elevator ding and the doors slide open. The clock in my office said that it was just after seven in the morning, way too early for anyone to be here yet. For a moment, I sat at my desk, holding my breath, and listening for anything. Just as I was sure that nobody was here, I heard a whistle. Fear crept up in side of me as I pushed away from my desk, once again reaching for the first thing my hand touched. My body was shaking as I moved back against the wall, sure that someone was just outside of my office but nobody came in. I let out the breath I was holding and started to relax but then I heard a low cackling laughter.

Gripping my stapler tighter in my hand, I moved over to the door, peering around the corner. My mind was screaming at me to stay in my office, that I was just asking for trouble, but my body was telling my mind to fuck off. If this was one of my goddamn employees, I was going to have their asses for scaring the shit out of me. As I looked down the hallway, I didn't see anyone. Taking a deep breath, I walked out of my office and started down, checking office doors on my way. All of them were locked. I made it down to the main area of the floor but didn't see anyone.

"I'm going fucking crazy," I muttered, closing my eyes and letting the breath I had been holding out. Just then a hand reached out, grabbing my shoulder. "AAAHHHH!" I screamed, whipping around. Carlisle dropped his hand and stepped back. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

"I was just coming in for work," said Carlisle, putting his hands up. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Yeah," I snapped, pushing past him. "Next time, don't whistle or laugh, you motherfucker."

I stormed my way back down to my office, slamming the door shut behind me and dropping to the floor as my knees gave out on me. It was like all the sudden, I was back inside that elevator with Alex, him with his knife and his hand around my throat. Closing my eyes, I let out a soft sob, feeling all that fear bubbling back to the surface.

"Bella, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I…" Carlisle trailed off as he pushed open my office door and found me in the middle of the floor. Rushing to my side, he wrapped his arms around me. "Shh, Sweetheart, it's ok."

"Get off me," I begged, pushing him away. "Please, get off of me!"

"Ok, ok," he murmured, moving away just a bit. "Do I need to call Jane?"

"No," I whispered, taking a deep breath. "I'm ok. Just…Why were you laughing and whistling?"

"I wasn't," said Carlisle. I looked up at him, seeing only truth in his eyes.

"Don't lie to me," I barely whispered.

"I'm not," he said, sincerely. "I had just come up the stairs when I saw you standing there with your stapler in your hand."

"The stairs?" I asked, standing up. "Why would you take the stairs?"

"Because the elevator was taking too long," he said, scrambling to his feet. "Are you sure you heard someone?"

"Yes," I muttered, closing my eyes and thinking back to the last several minutes.

"There is nobody else here yet," said Carlisle. I snap my eyes open and look at him. "Just your car and mine in the parking garage."

"There was someone here," I insisted. Carlisle was just staring at me, like I was one crayon short of a full box. "I am not making this up."

"I didn't say you were," he said, quickly.

"But?" I asked, harshly.

"But maybe you need to take a break from work," he suggested. "You know, get some sleep."

"I'm fine," I muttered, turning back to my desk.

"No, you're not," he sighed, plopping down in the chair in front of my desk, while I sat behind it. "Bella, why won't you let me help?"

"Why do you think I need your help?" I countered, asking much sharper than I intended to.

"Oh, let me see," he said, sardonically. "You've been here late every night for the last week, here early every fucking day for the last week. You take large amounts of work home during the week and on the weekends. Sound like to me, that you need some help."

I ran my hands though my hair as I stood up and moved over to the window inside of my office. Like I had no clue how hard I had been working, trying to keep this company going. It was my job and I took a lot of pride in what I did. Carlisle should understand that. He spent thirty years running this place on his own, while balancing a family. Maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.

"Bella," said Carlisle. I turned and looked back at him. "Talk to me."

"I don't know what you want me to tell you," I sighed. "I know that I work too much, Carlisle. I know that I am missing out on so much but I have people here who are depending on me."

"You have people at home who are depending on you, too," he argued.

"I know that," I spat. "I see their gorgeous little faces every night and it breaks me that I can't do all the things that Edward, Alice, and Jasper do for them."

"Why can't you?" he asked, leaning forward. He motioned to my office. "This place isn't going to fall apart if you let me help you."

"You've done your time," I said, quietly.

"Bella," sighed Carlisle, leaning back in his seat. "Listen, you can't do it all alone."

"You did," I pointed out, moving back over and sat down behind my desk.

"Please," he snorted. "This place wasn't half of what it is now when I was running the joint. You have taken this company to a new height, and you can't do it alone. Not anymore."

"Yes, I can," I murmured.

"No, you can't," he said, shortly.

"Yes, I can," I insisted.

"No, you cannot," he snapped. "You are falling apart and, honestly, you look like shit."

"Gee, Carlisle," I sneered, "don't hold back. Tell me how you really feel."

"Fine, you are being a stubborn, little bitch who is going to wake up one day and find that you've missed out on the important parts of life," he said, menacingly. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked away. Carlisle sighed. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me to say."

"You're right, though," I whispered, shaking my head.

"Bella, I just don't want you making the same mistakes I did," he said, quietly. I looked up at him. "I worked too much when Edward and Kate were little. Esme and I did the best we could but it was hard to find the balance between our work and our family. By the time, we did, Kate had married that asshole." I took a deep breath, thinking about whoever was in the office earlier. "Sorry, didn't mean to mention him."

"It's fine," I lied.

"Learn from my mistakes, Bella," he said, pleadingly. "Don't repeat them."

"You really don't mind helping?" I asked, quietly.

"I wouldn't have offered a hundred time, if I minded," he smiled. I nodded my head.

"Fine, I'll let you help," I whispered, feeling like an ass for giving in so easily. "But if at anytime, it comes between you, Esme, William, and Catherine, you have to swear to me that you will let me do it all."

"I swear," smirked Carlisle, holding up three fingers. "Scouts honor."

"You were never a scout," I scoffed. Carlisle laughed as he stood up, pulling the stack of budget reports off my desk.

"No, I wasn't," he said, winking at me.

Carlisle walked out of my office, pulling the door shut behind him, and taking a huge portion of my workload with him. I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes, letting the quiet wash over me. Had I just been hearing things earlier? The more I thought about it, the surer I was that I had heard the elevator open. I was positive that I had heard someone whistle and laugh but was it just my imagination? Was I really so tired that I was hearing things that weren't there?

"Bella," whispered Alice, shaking my shoulder. I jumped, having not heard her come into my office. "Whoa, are you ok?"

"What?" I asked, breathlessly, looking around. Alice is leaning against my desk, concern etched onto her face. "When did you get here?"

"Um, two hours ago," she said, frowning.

"What?" I asked, leaning forward and looking at the clock. It was just after ten. "Holy shit, I fell sleep."

"You are making me worry," murmured Alice. I shifted my eyes up to her. She brought her hand up, cupping my cheek. "You need to get more rest."

"I know," I whispered, leaning my head down on her lap. "Did Edward get the girls off to school?"

"Of course he did," said Alice, running her fingers through my hair. "They were sad that you weren't there this morning, though."

"Me too," I frowned. "Do you think they are going to forget me?"

"No," she gasped, I looked up at her. "Baby, they could never forget you. They just miss you. We all do. Even when you are home, you aren't there."

"I'm trying," I said, sadly. "I agreed to let Carlisle help me more with running this place."

"It's about fucking time," sighed Alice, clearly relieved. I rolled my eyes and leaned back. "Don't be like that. We've been telling you the same thing for how long?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I muttered, standing up. "I'm a stubborn bitch. Carlisle already covered it for you."

"Hey," she said, grabbing my hand before I could walk past her. "You are not a bitch. Stubborn as all fucking hell, yes, but not a bitch."

"I don't like needing help," I whispered.

"I know you don't," she said, placing her hands on my hips and pulling my body flush with hers. "But we all need a little help sometimes. It doesn't make you weak to ask for it."

"Makes me feel weak," I muttered. "And I haven't felt like this in a long time. I don't like it."

"Have you called Jane?" asked Alice. I shook my head at the mention of my old therapist. "Maybe you should."

"Maybe," I admitted, looking up at her. "But I can't right now because we have a staff meeting."

"Ok," she sighed, leaning up and kissing me. "Let's go."

Alice slipped her hand into mine as we made our way out of my office and down to the conference room. Carlisle was sitting next to Jasper, leaning in and whispering to him. The moment Alice and I stepped into the room, they both looked up, confirming what I thought. They were talking about me. I let go of Alice's hand and moved over to my usual spot at the table, doing my best to completely ignore my husband and father-in-law. Seth and Tia were sitting at the far end of the table, both looking rather nervous about the announcement I was going to be making. I cleared my throat calling the meeting to order.

"Let's get started, seeing as we have a lot to cover today," I said, seriously. "But before we get down to business, I have a couple of announcements to make."

Everyone turned their attention to me, with the exception of Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Tia, and Seth. They knew what was coming. "First, and this is very hard, but Seth has made the decision to leave us," I said. Everyone turned and looked over at him. "He and his wife are moving to Forks, Washington, where he will be running our branch there. I hope that you will all join me in wishing him and Tanya all the success in the world there," I said, sincerely.

"Yeah, good luck," said John, reaching across the table and shaking his hand. "I can't say I'm not surprised. I figured you would be here until the end, Man."

"We'll really miss it here but it's the right move for us," smiled Seth, standing up. "I just want to say that I have enjoyed spending my last eight years here with you all. I've learned so much and I value my friendships with all of you. I hope you keep in touch."

"Definitely," said Carlisle, nodding at him. "Thank you for all your hard work and loyal service to the company."

"Thank you for giving me a job when I needed one," laughed Seth, sitting back down. We all laughed with him. Tia looked scared to death as I looked over at her.

"This brings me to my second announcement," I smiled. "With Seth leaving, we've had to figure out who was going to take over his department. It wasn't an easy decision for him or me, because you are all excellent at your jobs, but when it came down to it, Seth and I decided that Tia would be perfect."

Tia inhaled deeply as everyone turned and looked at her. I could tell she was scared to death about how John and Corbin would take her promotion but as I knew they would, they both leaned back in their chairs, and let out a deep breath.

"Thank God it wasn't me," they said in unison. Everyone laughed with them.

"Seriously, I could not have handled that job," chuckled John.

"Way too much pressure for me," added Corbin, nodding his head. He looked over at Tia, who looked shocked. "You'll be good, though."

"Um, thanks?" she asked. I laughed as I took my seat.

"Yes, Tia will be a great division head," I smiled, drawing everyone's attention back over to me. "But I want to make something very clear. You are to treat her just as you did me, when it was my job, or Seth. I will not tolerate any of you trying to take advantage of her, just because she is younger than you. Am I understood?" I asked.

"Yes," everyone muttered, shifting in their seats.

"Excellent," I cheered, turning to Jasper. "Let's get started."

Our staff meeting lasted almost two full hours. Each division had at least five different presentations to present for us and they were all almost ten minutes long. My head was killing me as I walked out of the staff room and headed back down to my office. Instead of settling behind my desk, though, I grabbed all my stuff and headed down to the elevator. Where I found Carlisle waiting for me with a huge smile on his face.

"Are you ready?" he asked, enthusiastically.

"Something tells me that I am going to regret allowing you to help me be the boss," I commented, stepping onto the elevator with him.

"Nonsense," he laughed. The doors closed behind us and he turned to face me, looking as serious as he ever had. "I just want to take some of the pressure off of you."

"I know," I said, quietly. "I appreciate it, Carlisle. It's just difficult for me to let go of the control I've spent years building up."

"I'm not asking for all of it, just a smidge," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

The doors opened to the parking garage. He and I stepped out and headed over to my car. As we came up to my beautiful mustang, I felt all the air leave my body. All four tires had been slashed and the windows all broken out. It looked like someone had taken a knife and cut all of my leather seats apart. Scratched into the shiny black paint, was a message:** I SEE YOU**.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I truly love reading each and everyone of them.**


	14. Chapter 14

EPOV

"One more bite," I said, scooping out the last of the strained peas for Jackson. He opened his mouth wide, taking in the spoon and giggling merrily. I smiled at my son. "Good boy."

I left him and Edison in their highchairs as I went over to the sink and rinsed off their spoon, tossing the empty jar into the recycling, and grabbed a wet paper towel. The boys giggled as I washed their faces off, scrubbing the left over peas off of their faces. As hard as I tried, I couldn't seem to feed them without getting it all over their faces.

I had just lifted them both out of their chairs when the phone rang. Grumbling to myself, I shifted Edison over into my left arm with Jackson and picked up the phone off the kitchen table. The ID read that it was my father's cell phone. Carlisle never called me in the middle of the afternoon, knowing that the kids always kept me busy, so I knew it had to be important. Flicking the talk button, I cradled the phone between my jaw and my neck and shifted Edison back into my other arm.

"Hey, Dad," I said, walking into the living room.

"Edward, you need to get down to the office," he said, seriously. "Now."

"Why?" I asked. "What's going on?"

"Bella needs you," he said, before hanging up.

"Dad," I said, forcefully but he never replied.

I tossed the phone back down onto the couch, rushing over to the front door and picking up our diaper bag. The boys were getting fussy as I rushed out of the house and out to the van. All I could think about was my father's voice in my ear, 'Bella needs you.' What the hell had happened to her? I got the boys loaded into the car and climbed in behind wheel, revved the engine as I shifted into drive, and took off toward the office.

It took me just over ten minutes to drive from our house down to the office building that housed my wife's company. The company that had been the second most important part of her life. Second only after me, Alice, Jasper, and our kids. Even though lately it would seem like Bella wasn't putting us first, she was. She worked so hard to provide everything we could ever want or need. Not just for our small family but for the people who worked for her. They would never truly understand how much Bella really did for them.

When I pulled up to the building, the parking garage had been closed off and there was a police car blocking the entrance. Dread filled me as I stopped the van and climbed out. The boys were nearly asleep as I lifted them out of their seats, causing them both to start fussing. I cradled them both up to my chest, trying to get them to calm down as I rushed down the street and into the parking garage. There were several police officers swarming all over the place, snapping pictures. Just past them, I could see Bella's car, smashed to pieces and gutted. Bile rose in my throat as I looked around. Bella was sitting over by the elevator, face buried in her hands. Jasper and Alice were kneeling down next to her, each with a hand on her shoulder. Carlisle was standing a few feet away, talking to detective.

"Bella," I half yelled, rushing over to her. She snapped her head up, fear oozing off of her.

"Edward," she cried, jumping up and throwing her arms around me and the boys.

"Shh, Baby, it's ok," I murmured, trying to sooth her.

"Give us the boys," whispered Renee as she and Charlotte pulled my sons out of my arms.

I hadn't even realized that either of them were even here. I smiled weakly and let them take the boys from me before turning back to Bella, who was holding on to me as tightly as she could. She was shaking violently and all I could think of doing was holding her as tightly as I could. From over the top of her head, I looked over at Jasper and Alice. She was wrapped around him, head laying on his chest, and watching us together. They both had looks of helplessness spread all over their faces.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked.

"All we know is that she and Carlisle came down here and found the car like that," muttered Jasper, thickly. Alice let out a small squeak and Jasper held her tighter.

"He was there this morning," cried Bella, fisting the back of my t-shirt and burying her face into my chest. "I knew I wasn't going crazy. I knew it!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked. Bella pulled back, bringing her hand up and laying it on my chest, clenching my t-shirt in her small hand. It was almost as if she was afraid that I was suddenly going to leave her here all alone.

"There was someone upstairs this morning," she mumbled, eyes darting around everywhere. "I heard him."

"Who?" I asked.

"I don't know," she muttered. "I didn't see anyone but I heard him. I know I heard him. A whistle and a laugh. Now, he is watching me."

"Love, you aren't making any sense," I said, bringing my hand up to her cheek.

"I'm not crazy," she snapped, pushing me away. She started pacing back and forth, grabbing a fistful of her hair. "I AM NOT CRAZY!"

"I know you're not," I said, quickly reaching out as she passed by and pulling her back into my arms.

Her knees buckled under her as she started sobbing. "I am not crazy," she cried.

I swept her up into my arms, holding her as close as I could in this moment. It had been almost six years since I last saw Bella this vulnerable. The night that that bitch Kelly Novak held me, her, and Ben at gunpoint. Bella had worked so hard to put everything behind her, to push through all her anger and live a normal life. Was it possible that the stress of running a company and trying to help raise four kids was too much for her?

Bella ducked her head into my neck, sobbing violently as I held her. Alice was crying with her, and Jasper was doing his best to hold on to her, as I was with Bella. When one of us hurt, we all bleed. Right now, we were bleeding profusely. Carlisle walked over to us, placing his hand on my shoulder and taking a deep breath.

"The tapes from security show someone wearing a ski mask destroying her car," he muttered, quietly. "However, Gus and Fred were on break and didn't notice until we reported it."

"I want them gone," snapped Bella, lifting her head and looking directly at my father.

"Bella, Sweetheart-"

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME, CARLISLE," screamed Bella, scrambling out of my arms. "I WANT THEM GONE!"

"Baby, calm down," I said, trying to wrap my arms around her.

"I will not calm down," seethed Bella. "Either you fire them, Carlisle, or I will."

"Bella, they don't deserve to lose their jobs," argued Carlisle. "I have reprimanded both Gus and Fred."

"That's not good enough," snapped Bella, pushing me away as I tried to grab her arm. "Where are they?"

"I sent them home and had Randy and Gerald come in to take their shifts," explained Carlisle. "You should go home and calm down."

"Maybe you should fuck off," growled Bella. "This is my company, remember?"

"Oh, I remember," snapped Carlisle, stepping up to her. He leaned down and whispered something into her ear. Whatever he told her, caused her eyes to flutter to a close and her jaw to tighten. He leaned back, cocking an eyebrow at her as he said. "Am I clear?"

"Crystal," she muttered. "I'm trusting you, Carlisle."

"I know," he whispered. My father looked up at me. "Take her home."

I nodded my head and looked back at Renee and Charlotte. "We'll take the boys home with us and go pick the girls up at school," said Renee, eyes flittering over to Bella. "You just take care of her."

"Ok," I muttered.

I reached for Bella but she pulled away and headed out of the parking garage, letting her eyes fall on her car. Bella loved that car and she had worked so hard to be able to drive it after she had Mackenzie. It wasn't easy for her to get her body back into shape and deal with the added stress of her injured hip. What kind of sick son of a bitch would take that from her? Who in the hell was watching her, following her like this?

Alice, Jasper, and I followed Bella out to the van, climbing in without saying a word. Bella turned her body away from me as she stared out the window. I shared a look with Alice and Jasper as I started the van, shifted it into drive and started the journey home. The road felt like it had grown twice as long as it was when I was rushing down to the office. The van was eerily silent as I pulled up into the driveway.

Without a word to me, Alice, or Jasper, Bella climbed out of the van and headed into the house. I climbed out from behind the wheel and walked into the house after Alice and Jasper. The three of us followed her through the house to her art studio in the back of the garage. It had been months since Bella had been in here. Months since she had last held her paint brush in her hand and took the time to let herself go in her art.

Alice slipped her arm around my waist as she, Jasper, and I stood in the doorway, watching Bella. She was standing in front of one of her paintings of a large meadow with hundreds of spring flowers. Bella had spent weeks trying to get it just right. She wanted to hang it in the girls room but work and school had gotten in the way of her finishing the painting.

"I am not crazy," said Bella, wrapping her arms around her body as she looked back at us. "Someone was there this morning."

"We believe you," insisted Alice. Bella turned back to her painting.

"Whoever he is, he's been watching me," she whispered, voice cracking. "Watching us. Our children."

Without warning, Bella reached over and grabbed her canvas, throwing it against the wall. "MY CHILDREN!" she screamed, picking up some of her paint and throwing them. They hit the wall, shattering and spraying the wall in blue, yellow, and green. "MY BABIES! HE DOESN'T GET TO WATCH MY BABIES!"

"Bella," cried Alice, rushing over to her. Jasper and I followed and wrapped our arms around the two of them. The four of us dropped to the floor, holding onto each other as we all cried.

"Our babies," she sobbed.

"Nobody is getting near our children, Bella," said Jasper, quietly. Bella looked up at him. "I will kill them before they get close to any of them."

"Jas," she whimpered.

"I won't let any motherfucker near our children, Isabella," repeated Jasper. "EVER!"

Bella collapsed into Alice's arms as she was overcome once again by her tears. The four us sat on the floor together until Bella cried herself to sleep. I lifted her in my arms and carried her through the house, up the stairs to our bedroom, and laid her down on the bed, pulling off her heels and letting them fall to the floor. After tucking the blanket up over her, I crossed to the room to where Alice and Jasper were waiting, motioning for them to follow me. I led them downstairs and over to the couches in the living room.

"Ok, what the fuck is going on?" I asked, looking between them. They both sighed as they sat down.

"We really don't know," said Jasper.

"She was on the edge all morning," explained Alice. "I had to wake her up before the staff meeting. She was passed out on her desk." She paused as she brought her hands up, running them over her face. I sat next to her, taking her hand into mine. "I'm really worried about her."

"Me too," I murmured, quietly. "What's this about someone being there this morning?"

"Carlisle told me that when he came into the office this morning that Bella was standing in the middle of the floor with her stapler in her hand. He said she screamed when he put his hand on her shoulder and yelled at him to stop messing with her. When he followed her down to her office, he found her on the floor, crying. She insisted that someone had been there but he didn't believe her," explained Jasper. "Clearly, she was right."

"Clearly," I muttered, closing my eyes. "Ok, so what do we do?"

"Run away and hide on a private island," said Bella. I snapped my head around and saw her standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Just an idea."

"We thought you were sleeping," I frowned as she came over and squeezed in between us.

"I don't want to sleep," she muttered, darkly, turning her body so that she was nestled up against me. I slipped my arm around her, pulling her as close as I could. "I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what?" asked Jasper, placing his hand on her hip.

"Deal with crazy people," cried Bella, fisting my shirt in her hands again. "I've had enough experience with them and it's someone else's turn."

"You're right, it is," murmured Alice.

"Why me?" whispered Bella. "What did I do this time that made this asshole target me?"

"Nothing," I said, quietly. "Baby, you've done nothing."

"Where are the boys?" she asked.

"With Renee and Charlotte," said Alice. "They are going to pick up the girls, too."

"Oh," murmured Bella.

Silence fell upon us as the four of us cuddled on the couch. We all knew just how serious this problem was and how dangerous whoever was behind this could be but I wasn't sure how we would ever be able to deal with this. There were so many people involved and so many of our loved ones could get hurt in this psychos' attempt to get into our lives. Our parents, our friends, and, most importantly, our children. Would we be able to protect everyone we loved from whoever was out there?

"She's asleep," murmured Alice. I looked down and sure enough, Bella was asleep. "Should we call Jane?"

"No," I said, quietly. "Not until she wants us to call her."

"Edward," said Jasper, warily.

"I know, babe," I said, weakly. "But we all know that she needs time to absorb everything. It has to be Bella's decision."

"You're right," he muttered, closing his eyes. "I just don't like it."

"Me either, babe," I sighed, looking down at Bella. "I really don't like it, either."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Short chapter, I know, but it was intense. **


	15. Chapter 15

BPOV

_Darkness surrounded me, enveloping me quickly. All I knew was that I was standing in the middle of my office. I could hear people outside of the small room, going on with their day but I couldn't see the door. The windows were covered or completely gone. I stumbled around, trying find the door, trying to find anyway out of the darkness. _

_Stumbling over one of the chairs in my office, I fell to the ground. I stifled my cry as I heard the most sinister voice whisper, "Bella." _

_I froze, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck rise. "Who's there?" I asked, hearing my voice tremble. Silence. "WHO IS THERE?" I screamed._

_Cackling laughter came from all sides, mocking me, testing me. "Come and find us, Bella," taunted the voice. _

"_Us?" I gasped, spinning around. Of course, it was too dark for me to see anything. "Who are you?"_

"_Mommy," cried Mackenzie. All the air left my lungs. "Mommy, help us."_

"_Mac?" I whispered, feeling my knees give out. "Baby, where are you?"_

"_You have to help us, Mommy," sobbed Whitley. "The bad people have us, Mommy. You can't let them take us."_

"_Tell Mommy where you are," I cried, through my tears as I crawled around, trying desperately to find my girls. "TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE!" _

_I crawled across the room, in search of the way out. It took me a minute to find the door but I finally did. When I pulled the door open, I found that the hallways leading out of my office were completely dark, as well. I scrambled to my feet and stumbled out, looking around for any sign of my girls. Down at the other end of the hallway, stood my girls, hands clasped together and tears pouring down their faces. _

"_I'm coming!" I cried, taking a step toward them. _

_However, the ground in front of me was made up of quick sand and I found myself drowning. The more I moved, the faster I sank. The girls were crying, begging me to help them, to keep them safe but I couldn't move. From behind them, someone stepped out of the shadow, shielding their face completely from me. The person grabbed the girls by the arm, yanking them away. _

"_NO, BRING THEM BACK!" I screamed, clawing at the surface and trying to find my way out. The person didn't say anything as he dragged my girls away._

"_MOMMY!" they screamed._

I sprang up, stifling the scream that slipped out onto the tip of my tongue. Scrambling out of the bed, I rushed out of our bedroom, leaving my lovers laying there sound asleep. I pushed open the door to Whitley and Mackenzie's room. I expected to see them curled up in their beds, dreaming of unicorns and daffodils, but they weren't there. Fear filled me. Rushing down the hallway to the boys' room, I threw open their door, hoping to find our daughters curled up on the floor of their brothers' room but they weren't there, either. My babies were gone, all of them.

Falling to my knees, I screamed.

"BELLA!" screamed Alice. I looked around as she, Jasper, and Edward came running out of our bedroom, apprehension all over their faces. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Gone," I sobbed, falling into her arms. "The kids are gone."

"What? Bella, the kids are over with Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte," said Alice, bringing her hands up to my face, wiping the tears off as they fell. "They are perfectly fine."

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

"Yes," she murmured. "They stayed over there so that we could have some time to deal with everything. We didn't want the kids to get scared."

"I woke up and they weren't there," I muttered, closing my eyes as I pulled away from Alice. "I thought…I don't know what I thought….they weren't there…and I could hear…"

"They're safe," murmured Edward, lifting me off the floor.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him, holding onto him as tightly as I could as he carried me into our bedroom. His lips were pressed into the side of my neck, his breath coming out in short, airy pants. My body shivered and I wasn't sure if it was from the fear I could still feel radiating through me or the feeling of being in Edward's arms. Either way, I tightened my arms around him, holding on to him as tightly as I could.

"Baby, let me lay you down," murmured Edward, trying to pull my arms from around him.

"No," I cried, digging my fingers into his skin. "Don't let me go. Please, don't let me go!"

"Never," he whispered, laying down with me still attached to him.

I buried my face in his chest, trying to get as close as I could to him. The bed dipped as Jasper and Alice joined us, wrapping their arms around the two of us. They were holding us together. Not just physically, but emotionally, as well. I had so much more to lose this time; my lovers, my children. Without them, I wouldn't be able to move on. I would be lost and alone, unable to live without my family.

The feeling of Edward's body on one side of me and Alice and Jasper on the other side was both calming and electrifying. I brought my hand down, slowly feeling Edward's body. He shuddered, breathing my name heavily. The feel of his bare skin under my hand spurred my desire. I needed him. I needed all three of them. To know that they loved me, wanted me, wouldn't let me for putting them through all of this again.

I moved my hand down past his bare abs to the top of Edward's pajama pants, feeling him inhale deeply as my fingers slipped into the waist band. I moved from my position between my lovers, so that I was straddling Edward's legs. Reaching down, I ripped open my shirt, letting the buttons fly around us. Edward's eyes dropped down to my breasts. The bed shifted as Jasper moved behind me, slipping the shirt off my shoulders and tossing it onto the floor.

Jasper brought his hands up my arm, slowly, until he reached the straps of my beige bra. Slipping his fingers under, he pulled them down my arms, releasing my breasts. Once he had the clasp undone, he tossed it onto the floor, next to my shirt. Alice pulled off her nightgown and panties and moved over Edward, letting him lick her slowly. I brought my hands down to Edward's pants again, slipping them inside and pulling them down his legs. His cock sprang out, flopping up around his stomach.

Gripping him tightly in my hand, I leaned down and licked the tip, savoring the taste of him. Edward moaned into Alice, pulling her down onto his face. Placing my hands down onto Edward's legs, I took him into my mouth, letting him slide into my throat. Behind me, I could feel Jasper pulling on the skirt I was wearing, trying to get it down over my hips. He finally managed and tossed it onto the floor with the rest of our clothing.

Jasper pulled my hips back, moving so that he was laying under me, and started licking me. As I took Edward into my mouth, I could feel Jasper's tongue probing me. The only noise in the room was the sounds of our mouths working on each other, the sounds of our moans around the others, and the shifting of our bed as we let our mouths and hands do the talking.

Jasper pulled back, slipping me off of Edward's cock. Looking back at him, I saw that he was rock hard, throbbing. He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to him. I laid back on the bed, spreading my legs for him. Alice moved over and lowered her pussy over me, silently begging me to taste her. I was only too eager to comply. Wrapping my arms around her creamy thighs, I pulled her down, breathe in her musky scent. There was no better scent than Alice; sweet and sensational.

Jasper lifted my hips, scooting his legs under me and pushed his cock into me, causing me to moan into Alice. The bed shifted as Edward moved behind Jasper, pushing him forward. With a loud moan, Edward thrust himself into Jasper, pushing him even further into me. My hands tightened on Alice, pulling her further onto me and the four if us moaned. Fan-fucking-tastic.

As Edward thrust into Jasper, he pushed deeper into me, and I worked my tongue further into Alice. Edward had his hands resting on my hips, laying the full weight of his body on me and Jasper. Instead of feeling pinned down, I felt safe and secure. Each thrust of his hips, spoke of the faith he had that he and Jasper would keep us safe. Each grunt Jasper made, spoke of his determination to keep our children safe. Each whimper coming from Alice, spoke of her confidence that as long as we stuck together, we could face anything.

The cry as the four of us came together, spoke of our bond. The bond we were all counting on to keep our family safe from whatever loser had found some kind of obsession with me; with our family. We fell onto the bed together, sweaty and panting, but content that for just this moment we would be ok, that we would be able to face anything. As I drifted off to sleep, I heard Edward and Jasper vow to keep us safe.

When I woke up again, I found myself in the middle of the bed, tangled in the arms of my lovers and their naked bodies. I detangled myself from them and padded my way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I started the shower and looked back in the mirror, looking for any signs that I was different than I was all those years ago when I was facing my first stalker. Now, here I was on number three.

I didn't look much different, I thought. A little older, more broken in than I did when Jacob Black first started after me. Two babies, the accident, and over ten years had made me a different woman. Back then, I was stronger. I had faith that the police would stop him and my life would go on as usual. They stopped him and my life moved forward, but the fear never really left. Then Alex attacked me, Kelly Novak used Angela and Ben to get me to come to her. When was it going to stop? Who the fuck was coming after me now? Why were they coming after me?

Shaking my head, I turned from the mirror and climbed into the shower, letting the hot water slide down my arms and back. There were babies involved now. Whoever was after me, was risking my children, too. My body shuddered as I stopped the sob that nearly came out. I couldn't lose my children.

"Baby, are you ok?" asked Alice, slipping into the shower with me.

"No," I whimpered, facing her. She frowned, bringing her hand up to my face. "Ali…"

"I know," she whispered, "I'm scared, too."

"It's like he is right here again," I muttered, closing my eyes as Alice brought me into her arms. I laid my head down on her shoulder. "I don't know if I can handle this. Not after everything else."

"You can," she said, reassuringly. "Baby, you are so strong. Much stronger than you think you are."

"But the kids…" I wept softly. "If something happens to one of them…"

"Nobody is going to come near our children, Bella," Alice said, forcefully. I lifted my head and looked her in the eye. "I can promise you that."

"How can you promise me that?" I asked.

"Because whoever this motherfucker is, he will have to get through me, Edward, Jasper, and a hell of a lot of other people to get to them. We will not let that happen."

"I really hope so, Ali," I muttered.

Alice and I finished our shower and dried off. When we got back into our bedroom, the boys were gone. We pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a couple of their t-shirts before heading downstairs. As we joined them in the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. Edward and Jasper were sitting at the table, hands woven together and foreheads pressed against each others. It was always amazing to me to see how much they loved each other, how they weren't afraid to show it. They both looked up as Alice and I slid into our seats. Edward placed his arm on the back of my seat as he slid me a cup of coffee. I pulled my knees up, bringing the warm cup up to my lips and taking a small sip. I could feel everyone watching me, waiting for me to breakdown again.

"Stop staring at me," I muttered, closing my eyes.

"Are you going to tell us about this morning?" asked Jasper.

I shook my head, trying to push the nightmare out of my head. "They were gone," I whispered, feeling the tears building. "I got scared."

"Ok," he said, reaching across Edward and placing his hand on my knee. "You were asleep and we didn't want to wake you to tell you that the kids were staying with our parents."

"But they were gone," I cried. "I thought… I don't know, I guess I thought that someone had…"

"Nobody is going to take them," murmured Edward, turning and pressing his lips down onto the side of my head.

"You should call Jane," muttered Alice. I shifted my eyes over to her. "Bella, you need to talk this out with her."

"I know," I sighed. "I don't like feeling weak like this."

"You are not weak," insisted Jasper. "Beautiful, you are the strongest person I have ever met but you can't do everything on your own. You've been busting your fine ass trying to be super-mom, super-boss, and super-wife. You can't do it all."

"I know that," I said, shifting my eyes down to the table. "I thought I was going crazy. I knew there was someone there yesterday morning. I heard them but Carlisle didn't believe me…I thought maybe he was right. That I was just overworked and tired," I cried, laying my head on my knees. "Whoever this person is, they destroyed my car. They're watching me, watching us." I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I don't think I can go through all of this again."

A couple of hours later, the four of us were laying on the couch together. Not sure how we all fit but we somehow managed. Edward was lying on his side with me in front of him. Jasper was laying on the other end, feet propped up on Edward and Alice snuggled up in front of him. Mine and Alice's legs were twisted together, partially to keep each other up but mostly to just feel each other. We hadn't talked much over the last couple of hours, unsure of what to say anymore. There was a dark cloud looming over us.

In the seven years that we'd been together, we'd faced plenty of diversity. There were the people who told us our love was wrong, that it was unnatural for the four of us to be together like we were. When we took our kids out, we didn't hide the face that we were all mommy and daddy to them. It didn't matter to us that Mackenzie and Edison had been born from me. We were a family and we stuck together but losing one of the children would tear us apart. It would be the end of us, that much I knew for sure.

"Who could it be?" asked Jasper, placing his hand on my calf. None of us had to ask what he was talking about. It had been on all of our minds since we laid down. Who was this crazy fucker who was after me again?

"James," muttered Edward, pressing his face into my hair. "He wasn't happy about us dropping his account."

"I don't know," disagreed Alice. "James may be a lot of things, but I don't think he would pull something like this. He's not very smart."

"He's clearly off his nut," said Jasper. "He-"

"You are assuming this person is a man," I muttered, interrupting Jasper. "Kelly Novak."

"What?" asked Alice, sitting up. I sighed. "She's not stupid enough to mess with you again. The last time got her ass thrown in jail."

"She's out now, isn't she?" I asked, standing up. Running my hands through my hair, I started pacing back and forth. "Ali, you didn't see the look in her eyes when I talked her that day. She's bat shit crazy."

"Yeah but she's in Washington," said Edward, shifting around on the couch. He reached out and pulled me down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist. "What makes you think it's her, Baby?"

"Nothing," I murmured. "I just don't think we can count her out. She's fallen off the deep end once already, Edward. There's no reason to think she's not the one doing this."

"Bella, love, we haven't heard from her in almost six years," said Edward, rubbing my back.

"True, but once you're a fucking lunatic, you always are one," I whispered, nestling my head into Edward's neck. "Besides, does it matter who this person is? There are a lot of people it could be. Mrs. White, Phil Dwyer, some random fucker who thought that I smiled at him or her some way that spoke to them. Whoever they are, they are dangerous."

"I think I should come back to work." I pulled back as Jasper and Alice looked Edward. He was watching me closely. "I can help you run the company."

**Thank you for all the reviews and for being patient on the lack of updates. I am working on them but they've just taken more time to write lately. **


	16. Chapter 16

I couldn't wrap my head around what Edward had just said. How could he want to come back to the company? He loved being at home with the kids. He thrived on it. Why would he give that up just to come baby-sit me? Did he have that little faith in me that he thought I was going to damage the company? I couldn't help but feel a little hurt in the lack of confidence in me.

Before Edward could say anything else, the door to the house opened and we all jumped to our feet. A moment later the most incredible sound came floating through the house; the sound of my daughters' laughter. As they came running into the living room, I scooped them up into my arms, letting my tears fall once again. They really were ok.

"Mommy, you're squishing us," grumbled Mackenzie. I laughed through my tears as I set them both back on the ground, kneeling in front of them. Bringing a hand up to each of their faces, I gave them a quick look over, trying to make sure that they really were ok., which they seemed to be.

"Why are you crying, Mommy?" asked Whitley, reaching up and brushing the tears off my face.

"I just missed you," I murmured.

"Oh, cause you've been working so much?" she asked.

I nodded my head. "Yeah," I murmured. She was right, my babies had been right in front of me but I was too busy working to really see them. I would have to make sure I did better. Our children deserved more from me. "Who wants some ice cream?"

"ME!" they both squealed, jumping up and down.

"Me too," I smiled.

I stood up and walked over to Charlotte and Renee, taking the boys from them. The two of them, Charlie, Peter, William, Catherine, Carlisle, and Esme were all watching me closely, like they were expecting me to take off out the door with them. Part of me wanted to, so that I could take them somewhere safe, somewhere where this monster couldn't find them, but I wasn't sure where that place was.

Instead, I kept my eyes off of them and followed my girls into the kitchen, leaving them there to talk with my lovers about how I was losing it. It wasn't anything new for me. What's one more stalker trying to take everything I loved from me? Alex tried to take my life, Jacob nearly did, Kelly pushed me to the point that I was ready to take her life. Now, there was someone new, or someone old, coming after me.

The girls settled at the table while I got the boys into their highchairs. I fixed us each a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream with chocolate syrup on top. The smiles on my daughters' faces was worth the extra sugar.

"Did you have fun with your grandparents?" I asked, taking a bite of my ice cream.

"Yeah, they let us put up the tent in the living room. Nene and Lottie slept with us, Edison, and Jackson," explained Whitley.

"Papa and Gramps said they had to sleep outside of the tent so that no bears could get us," laughed Mackenzie. "They slept on the couches but I don't think they really slept."

"Why do you think that?" I asked.

"Cause I heard them talking and walking around all night," she sighed, dramatically. "They weren't very quiet."

"Oh," I murmured, looking down at my bowl. "I guess those bears could be tricky."

"There weren't really any bears, Mommy," giggled Whitley. "They were just being silly."

"Yeah," agreed Mackenzie.

"What was I thinking," I laughed, smiling at them. "Guess Mommy is just being silly, too."

"I'm done with my ice cream," said Mackenzie. "Can we go play outside?"

"Sure, let me just get the boys cleaned up and we'll all go," I said, quietly.

The girls, boys, and I spent most of the afternoon playing in the backyard. I sat in the sandbox with the boys, trying to stop Edison from stuffing sand into his mouth and keeping Jackson from tackling his brother every three minutes. The girls mostly played on the swing set that our parents had gotten them. They would come over and sit in the sand with the boys, burying their feet and causing them to laugh. It was sweet to see them play with their little brothers. Every once in a while the backdoor would open and I would see Edward, Jasper, or Alice stick their heads out, checking that I hadn't taken off with the kids, I'm sure. It's not like I wasn't tempted, I just had no clue where I could take them.

By late afternoon, the boys were getting tired. They had missed their normal nap time and they needed it. I lugged them back inside with the girls following me. We got cleaned up and I set the boys in their highchairs while I tried to figure out what to make for dinner. The girls ran into the living room, laughing about how much time we spent outside. I loved hearing them laugh.

The door to the kitchen was pushed open and I looked back as Carlisle came in. Turning back to the fridge, I listened as he moved over and took a seat next to the boys. "How long are you going to do this?" asked Carlisle. I ignored him as I pulled some fresh vegetables out of the fridge.

"Isn't this what I am supposed to be doing?" I asked, laying every out on the counter. "Taking the time to enjoy my family."

"You know that's not what I am talking about," he said. Closing my eyes, I shook my head.

"No matter what I do, it's not going to be right, is it Carlisle?" I asked, firmly. "If I go to work, then I'm neglecting my family. If I don't, then I'm letting my employees down. If I spend time with my children, then I am not facing my problems, but if I don't spend time with them, then I am missing out on them growing up."

"You can't just pretend that this person isn't after you," he said, heatedly. I snapped my eyes up to his.

"What person, Carlisle?" I snapped. "The one I told you was in the building yesterday morning? The one that you implied that I had just made up?"

"I did not," he scoffed.

"YES, YOU DID!" I screamed. Startled by my outburst, the boys started fussing. I moved over and picked them both up as Edward, Jasper, and Alice came rushing into the kitchen. "You told me that I was just tired, that I was working too hard and that I must have just imagined it, Carlisle. You told me that I was missing out on my family growing up. You begged me to let you help with the company and I agreed. What else do you want from me?"

"I want you to be ok," he yelled. "I don't want anyone to hurt you. Goddamn it, Bella, we've already lost you too many times as it is!"

"Right now, you are the one hurting me," I snapped.

Carlisle gasped, stumbling back a few steps. I should have apologized but I didn't. Right now, I didn't feel sorry for him or what I said. Instead, I turned and pushed my way past my lovers, who stood there looking just as shocked as Carlisle did, through the living room, and up the stairs with my sons in my arms. I carried them into their bedroom and sat down on the floor with them. Jackson turned and pulled himself up against me, standing on shaky legs. He had a big smile on his face as he reached up, patting my face.

"You don't think Mommy's going crazy, do you?" I asked, taking his hand in mine.

"Mamamamama," he babbled.

"Before I know it you are going to be as big as your sisters," I murmured, leaning into his tiny hand. Jackson giggled and leaned his head over in the same direction. Edison had turned and was facing me, clapping his tiny hands together. "My beautiful baby boys."

Jackson flopped down on his bottom and crawled over to their little toy box, dragging out one of the small rubber balls they had in there. He threw it and Edison turned, crawling over to get it. I laid down on the floor, arms tucked up under my head and watched my sons play together. Every few times the ball would come my direction and I would roll it back to them, causing them both to giggle. Such a beautiful sound.

I'm not sure how long we had been in their room when the boys crawled over to me, laying down next to me. I draped my arms across them, smiling as they yawned simultaneously. Edison reached down, grasping my finger in his little hand as his eyes drifted to a close. Jackson turned so that he was facing me and grabbed onto my shirt. As they drifted off to sleep, I silently let my tears fall. I couldn't let anything happen to my babies.

"Bella," whispered Edward. I looked over my shoulder and saw him standing in the door way. "Seth and Tanya are here. They want to talk to you."

"Ok," I murmured.

I somehow managed to pull my finger out of Edison's hand, mostly because I wasn't ready to let him go, and Jackson's fist off the front of my shirt. Carefully, I lifted the boys up off the floor, stopping Edward as he tried to help, and laid them in their cribs. Edward sighed as he turned and walked out, leaving me alone with them. I just needed to be the one to get them settled. I needed to know that they were ok.

Leaving there door open just a little bit, I made my way downstairs. Everyone was still there, joined by Garrett, Kate, Emmett, and Rose. The girls were playing on the floor with Jonah and Jocelyn. Seth and Tanya were sitting next to Jasper and Alice and everyone, but the kids, were staring at me. That didn't make me feel like a freak or anything. I adverted my eyes from all of theirs and looked over at Seth and Tanya.

"Come to say goodbye?" I asked, smiling, or tried to at least.

"No," said Seth, standing up. He looked back down at Tanya, who nodded her head. As Seth looked back up at me, I got a bad feeling. "We've decided not to move. Yet, at least."

"So are Ang and Ben bringing Caleb up here?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of me.

I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear it from him. Seth shook his head, shifting his eyes over to Carlisle. I looked from Seth over to my father-in-law. He had his eyes trained on the ground, and I knew he was deliberately not looking at me. Closing my eyes, I tried to calm down but it wasn't happening.

"Bella," said Seth, but I stopped him by putting my hand up.

"Kids, do me a favor and go play up in the girls room," I said as calmly as I could. They all murmured an ok as they stood up, gathering their toys and headed up the stairs. As soon as they were gone, Seth looked back at me.

"Bella-"

"No," I said, firmly. "You two are not doing this, not because of me."

"Bella," said Tanya, standing up.

"NO," I yelled, clenching my fists. "I will not let you and Seth throw away what you have with Ang and Ben because of me. I won't do it!"

"We aren't, Bella," insisted Seth. "We are just waiting until the police stop this asshole."

"No," I said, again. "It's not fair to Ben or Angela or Caleb. They are risking everything for you two. Please, for me, don't stay here."

"How can you ask us to leave when you need us here?" asked Seth, sadly. "Bella, if we leave and something happens to you…" Seth trailed off as he shook his head.

"No," I whispered. "I will not let you do this."

"You can't stop us," said Seth. I closed my eyes.

"You're fired," I muttered.

"What?" snapped Carlisle. I opened my eyes and looked over at him. "You can't do that!"

"I can and I did," I hissed at him. "It's my company, Carlisle. I will not stand here and let them change their lives for me. I won't do it. I can't believe that you, of all people, would let him!"

"So you fire him?" he asked, angrily.

"What would you suggest I do?" I retorted. "Let him and Tanya ruin their lives. Not to mention what this will do to Angela, Ben, and most of all Caleb."

"Caleb?" asked Tanya. I looked from Carlisle over to her. "What do you mean?"

"Tanya, Caleb loves you and Seth. All he wants is for you and Seth to be with them," I said, quietly. Seth and Tanya shifted their eyes to the ground. "Please, don't stay here just because of some crazy person. Go to Forks for Ben and Ang. Go for Caleb. Go because in your hearts, you know that is where you are supposed to be."

"Fine, but you have to promise us something," said Tanya, thickly.

"Anything," I replied, sincerely.

"You promise us that you aren't going to do something stupid and get yourself hurt," she continued. "I've put a lot of my time into getting you back to normal, Bella, and if I find out that you do something reckless and get hurt, I'm kicking your ass."

"I promise," I agreed. "Just be happy, please."

"We will be," she murmured, crossing the room and hugging me. "If you need anything, ever, you call me."

"Same for you, ok?" I cried, hugging her as tightly as I could.

"Yeah, ok," she whimpered, pulling back. Tanya stepped out of the way as Seth hugged me.

"Bella, please," was all he said. It was enough. I knew he was asking me to be careful and he knew that I was listening.

"Love you, Seth," I whispered, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "Take care of them."

"Love you, too," he murmured, kissing the top of my head.

After making their rounds and hugging everyone else, I walked them to the door. I stood on the front porch and watched as their car drove off, letting the sun chase them. Wrapping my arms around my chest, I made my way back into the house. Everyone was still just sitting on the couches, silently waiting for the next big discussion to happen. I knew that I should sit down and try to talk all of this out with them, explain my feelings, but I just didn't have the energy right now. So instead, I turned and walked up the stairs, leaving them there to talk about how I was messing everything up. I knew I was.

I checked on the boys first. They were both still fast asleep, tuckered from a long afternoon of playing out in the warm sun. Next I went and checked on the girls, Jocelyn, and Jonah. They were sitting on Mackenzie's bed, watching a movie surrounded by more than a dozen of Whitley and Mackenzie's stuffed animals. Jonah looked less than thrilled with it, too, but I also knew that he put up with it because he loved his sisters and his cousins.

I made my way down the hallway to our bedroom and shut the door behind me. Even though I had showered that morning, my skin felt like it was crawling. I stripped off my clothes and climbed into the shower, letting the hot water fall over my shoulders and down my back. My head was killing me. As the water started to run cold, I turned it off and wrapped a towel around me, walking from the bathroom back into the bedroom. Of course, Edward, Alice, and Jasper were sitting on the bed, waiting for me.

"Where are the kids?" I asked.

"Downstairs with our parents," replied Alice. "They made some chicken nuggets and a salad for dinner. We need to talk."

"I know," I murmured, dropping my towel into the hamper.

They tried not to, I know they tried, but all three of them inhaled when they saw me naked. I smiled to myself that at least not everything had changed. I didn't say anything as I slipped on my white panties and matching bra. Moving over to the closest, I grabbed a pair of dark grey yoga pants and a white, tank top. Slipping them on, I turned and looked back at my lovers.

"Edward is not coming back to the company," I said.

"Yes, I am," he said, standing up.

"Why?" I asked. "You love being home with the kids."

"I do, but I need to be there with you," he said, pleading with me. I shook my head. "Baby, please, just listen to me."

"I am listening," I muttered. "But the kids need you here."

"Bella, the girls are in school all day and the boys can go over to our parents," said Jasper.

"We agreed that we didn't want our parents to raise our children." I was getting frustrated.

"They won't be," sighed Alice, standing up. She moved over and took my hands in hers. "Baby, with Edward helping you and Carlisle, you will be able to get twice as much work done and be home more. I mean, really home, not stuck behind a mountain of paperwork."

"I've done the best I could," I muttered, guiltily.

"No one is saying that you haven't," she murmured, bringing her hand up to my cheek. "But Baby, it's okay to let Edward and Carlisle help."

"But the kids need him," I whispered.

"The kids will have at the minimum of four grandparents around them at all time," said Edward, slipping his arm around me and Alice. "There is going to be someone at the girls school all day, making sure that nobody gets close to them. The boys will be with their grandparents, and I will be with you. Jas and I will not let anyone hurt you, Alice, the kids, or anyone else."

As Edward leaned down and kissing the top of my head, Jasper joined our hug. "Please let us help you, Beautiful," he whispered. "Please, don't push us away."

"You have to promise me that if at anytime the kids need you that you will go to them, even if that means leaving me," I murmured.

"Ok," whispered Alice.

"Agreed," agreed Jasper. I looked up at Edward.

"Anything to keep them safe," he said. I leaned my head on his chest.

"Ok," I barely whispered. "You can come back."

"Thank you," he murmured. "Now, are you hungry?"

I shook my head. "I'm kind of tired actually."

"Are you sure?" asked Alice. "You didn't eat much today."

"Yeah, I think I am just going to lay down," I murmured.

All three of them kissed me before heading back downstairs. I climbed onto our bed, pulled a pillow up to my chest and cried. I cried because, even though I wanted them to move, I was going to miss Seth and Tanya. I cried because I needed to talk to Carlisle, apologize for being rude to him, but I was too tired to do it tonight. I cried because I spent the day with my children and realized just how much I had been missing. I cried because I did need Edward at the company with me. I was selfish.

**Thank you for all the reviews. **


	17. Chapter 17

Early Monday morning, I climbed out bed before my lovers did and took a shower alone. The clock read just after five in the morning and I had been up most of the night, listening for any and every little noise that might indicate that someone was inside of our house. More than once, I climbed out of bed and wandered down the hall, checking on our kids. Of course, they were fine but I was so scared for them.

As I let the warm water wash over my head and shoulders, I thought about the weekend. I stayed in our room for the rest of the night until I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up again in the wee hours of the morning, Edward, Alice, and Jasper were all holding me, touching me, loving me. I drifted back to sleep and when I woke again, I was alone. I made my way downstairs and found the girls in the kitchen helping Edward make breakfast for all of us. Alice and Jasper were feeling the boys, and I stood back and watched my family.

I still wasn't convinced that Edward was making the right decision by coming back to work but I knew that this was important to him, and I did want him to be with me. I just couldn't help but worry about the boys. Would they be ok with Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte? Why did it feel like he was picking me over them? He, of course, reassured all of us that he had everything under control and that Carlisle knew a guy, who knew a guy, that would help us keep the girls safe at school. However, I wasn't convinced.

I tried not to think about the crazy stalker who was trying their hardest to take everything from me as I spent the day with my lovers and my children. But it was hard not to. It was hard not to think about everything he or she could take away from me, from us. Several times, I found myself getting emotional and having to stifle all the tear that sprang up in my eyes. It wasn't going to help for my children to see me fall apart.

Climbing out of the shower, I dried off and pulled on one of Edward's t-shirts and a pair of Jasper's boxers. I slipped out of our bedroom and headed downstairs, after checking on the kids again. They were snug in their beds, sleeping peacefully. The way they should be. At least they could sleep, I thought.

I left them in their beds and went downstairs and out to my studio. When I had been brought home on Friday, all I could think of was that I needed do something, anything. I came out to my studio and trashed it, letting all my anger out here. The anger I felt for having my life toyed with. The anger I felt for feeling out of control, lost, and scared. But it didn't help. All it did was make a mess and make me madder. I walked over and ran my fingers over the red, blue, and yellow paints that had dried on the wall.

"BELLA!" yelled Edward. I turned as he ran into my studio, looking frantically around. His eyes met mine and he relaxed. "You weren't there…and I thought…" he trailed off, bending over and taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, quietly. "I couldn't sleep." Edward looked up at me, pity filling his eyes. "I made quite the mess, didn't I?"

"Yes."

I turned to the wall, letting my hand fall to my side. "I should leave it like this. A reminder of how weak I am."

"You're not weak."

I laughed dryly as I faced Edward again. "I am weak," I muttered.

"You're not," he insisted.

I shook my head, silently disagreeing with him. Edward didn't say anything as I picked up the broken canvas I had thrown while I was raging. The wooden back had cracked when it hit the wall, tearing the canvas down the middle, right between where my girls were supposed to be. I had started this painting over the summer, but never finished it. Work became more demanding. Then the girls started school. Days turned into weeks, into months, and I never came back to it. Not that I had much time to paint before that. Life took off and my work stood still.

"I didn't mean for it to turn out like this," I murmured, looking back at Edward. He was leaning against the wall, just watching me. "I didn't want to be the mom who worked all the time and missed out on her kids growing up."

"You don't have to be." He made it sound so simple.

"Tell that to the hundred or so people who work for me." I dropped the canvas into the trash.

"You think they wouldn't help more if you would let them," said Edward. "You have division heads for a reason. They can approve the projects of junior members. You don't have to do it."

"They have enough work to do." It was the truth.

"That's an excuse," he said. I shook my head. "Don't shake your head, Bella. You can trust them to do their jobs but you are a control freak."

"It's my company."

"We're your family and you are missing everything!" he said, harshly. I cringed, knowing he was right. "I'm sorry, that came off much harsher than I intended."

Closing my eyes, I slid to the floor, pulling my knees up. "I don't want to miss anymore," I cried. "I don't want to be scared that our children are going to get hurt. I don't want you having to pick me over them."

"Baby, I'm not," said Edward, moving over and sitting next to me. "I'm asking you to pick us over your company."

"It's not that easy," I whispered. "People have mortgages, car payments, tuition to pay."

"I'm not saying you can't work, Baby, but you can't do all of it," said Edward.

"I'm letting you come back, aren't I?" I asked. "I'm letting Carlisle take on some of the work, too. What else do you want from me?"

"I just want you," he murmured, pulling me into his lap. "Baby, I want you to be safe. I want you to be happy and laugh and smile. Is that too much to ask?"

Tears spilled down my face. "I don't know how to laugh or smile right now. I don't feel safe. I'm scared that whoever this motherfucker is, that they are going to stop at nothing to get to me. What if that means our babies?" I was hysterical.

"Nobody will come near our children, Isabella." I looked up at him as he called me Isabella. Edward never called me Isabella. He brought his hand up to my face, caressing my cheek. "I swear to you, Love, I will not let anyone hurt you, Jasper, Alice, or our children."

"Edward, do you believe me about someone being after me?" I asked.

"Yes, of course, I do," he said, quickly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you told me that someone was," he murmured.

I leaned my head on his chest, feeling it rise and fall as he breathed. "What if I am going crazy?" I barely whispered.

"You're not," he whispered. "And even if you were, I'd still be in love with you."

Edward and I sat on the floor of my studio, wrapped in each other's arms, until we heard Alice and Jasper moving around in the kitchen. Somewhat reluctantly, Edward and I stood up and headed into the kitchen. Jasper was standing in front of the stove, flipping pancakes while Alice fed the boys. Each time he flipped one, she and the girls would cheer him on. Edward leaned down and kissed the shell of my ear.

"It's the little moment like this that they will remember when they grow up," whispered Edward. "Don't let it pass you by."

I brought my hands up, stroking his cheek before heading over and joining the girls at the table. Whitley climbed into my lap, giggling once again as Jasper flipped a pancake into the air, catching it with his pan. Tears burned in my eyes as I turned and buried my face into her hair.

"Mommy," whispered Whitley, drawing attention to me as she turned, taking my face in her tiny hands. "You're crying again."

I nodded, unsure of what to tell her.

"Are you sad?" Whitley spoke softly, but I was sure that everyone could hear her.

"A little," I murmured, quietly.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I've missed you," I cried.

"I'm right here, Mommy," whispered Whitley.

"Will you always be right here?" I asked, leaning my forehead against hers.

"Yep," smiled Whitley. "Forever, Mommy."

"You'd better eat," I whispered, kissing her cheek.

Whitley turned back as Jasper set a plate of pancakes in front of her, giving me a sad smile. I was being pathetic, I knew this. I kept Whitley in my lap and cut up her pancakes for her, pouring on a generous amount of syrup. Mackenzie had scooted her chair over and was sitting as close to me as she possible could. I slipped my arm around her and held her as they ate. Every once in awhile a stray tear would trickle down my face and I would wipe it away as discreetly as I could but my lovers saw, even if they didn't say anything.

Once the girls were done eating, I went upstairs with them and helped them get ready for school. They were both big enough to dress themselves, but I needed to be in there with them. Whitley had choosen to wear a pair of black jeans and a purple and black striped top along with her black flip flops.

"Mommy, will you put my hair up?" she asked.

"Of course, I will," I said, smiling softly at her. "Doggy ears or ponytail?"

"Doggy ears," she giggled. I set her in front of me on her bed and began brushing through her hair. She had the softest hair, Edward's hair. "Mommy, when you were little did Nene brush your hair like this?"

"Yes," I said, parting her hair down the middle. "Everynight after I took a bath, Nene and I would climb on her bed and she would brush my hair a hundred times. She said it was so that my hair would always be soft and beautiful."

"Oh."

Mackenzie had just pulled on a bright pink shirt with 'Daddy's little princess' writtin in large purple letters and a purple skirt, a pair of knee high pink socks, and her black dress shoes. She turned and looked at me, placing her hands on her hips, much like Alice did when she was done dressing herself.

"How do I look, Mommy?" she asked.

"Beautiful," I said, smiling. "Do you want me to put your hair up?"

"Just with these barrettes," She said, bringing me over the rainbow barrettes in her hands. "Won't they look perfect with my outfit?"

"Perfect," I echoed.

Once I was done with Whitley's hair, I put the barrettes up in Mackenzie's hair, pulling the sides back. She honey blond hair shined, curling around her face. They grabbed their backpacks and headed downstairs while I went into our bedroom to get ready for work. I didn't pay much attention to what I put on, grabbing the first thing my hands touched when I reached into the closet. Slipping on my shoes, I headed downstairs to where Alice, Edward, and Jasper were waiting for me with the kids.

"Um, Bella," said Alice, clearing her throat.

"What?" I asked.

"You're wearing two different shoes," she said, gesturing to my feet. Sure enough, when I looked down, I saw that I had on a black heel and a brown one. Sighing, I kicked them off, letting them slide across the floor.

"I'll be right back," I muttered.

Turning, I headed back upstairs in search of the right shoes, or at least shoes that matched. I didn't really care what I wore so I grabbed the first matching pair I could, a pair of black flip flops. Hurrying back downstairs, I grabbed my briefcase and keys, looking over at the others.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Um, sure," murmured Jasper.

I followed them out to the van. We got the kids loaded up inside and I settled into the backseat in between Edison and Jackson. Taking one of their tiny hands in mine, I looked out the window as we drive the girls to their school. Edward parked in the parking lot across from the school and we headed inside. I had the boys in each of my arms and the girls with a hand on my arms. As we made our way down the hallway to their classroom, I saw Rose, Emmett, Kate, and Garrett talking to Mrs. White. Unease spread through me as she looked over at us. How did we know that she wasn't this crazy stalker? Maybe this was her way of trying to destroy my family. We all knew she hated us for the love we shared. I stopped and looked back at Edward, Jasper, and Alice.

"How can we just leave them here?" I whispered-yelled. "With her?"

"Baby, they will be fine," murmured Edward. Jasper and Alice pulled the boys out of my arms, ignoring my feeble objections. Edward leaned down so that his lips were just outside of my ear. "I promise that everything is going to be ok."

"How can you know that?" I whispered.

"Because I have someone watching every move that goes on around our daughters." Edward shifted his eyes over to the classroom, where a large man stood. "That's Demetri, he's here to protect the girls. Just trust me to take care of our children. Please."

"Edward," I whispered.

"Please," he said again.

I couldn't speak so I simply nodded my head. Edward kissed my cheek before taking the girls hands in his and leading them over to their classroom. Jasper slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me along after them. Mrs. White shifted nervously as she looked back at Demetri and back to us. Her eyes lingered on me for a second too long, or maybe I was just imagining it.

"Girls, this is Mr. Demetri," said Mrs. White, kneeling down in front of them. "He's going to help out in our classroom for awhile."

Mackenzie and Whitley looked up at him, eyes wide and full of anticipation. Jasper's tight grip around my waist was all that was keeping me from grabbing my girls and running out of this place. Demetri smiled and squatted down in front of them, offering them one of his meaty hands. I wanted to rip his arm off and shove it up his ass, telling him not to even think about touching my girls.

"It's nice to meet you both," he said, sincerity dripping off of each word. Before I could stop them, the girls reached out and placed their tiny hands in his. I stifled my protest and turned away. How could I let them stay here like this?

"You're big," said Mackenzie. Demetri laughed as he stood up.

"I'm just big ole softy, little lady," he chuckled. I snapped my head around.

"I certainly hope not," I hissed. "Not with my daughters' lives in your hands."

"No worries, Mrs. Cullen," said Demetri, ignoring my lovers as they shushed me. He looked me right in the eye. "Nobody will stop me from protecting your girls."

"You had better hope not," I muttered.

The bell rang and the girls scurried into their classrooms with quick hugs and kisses. Edward literally had to drag me away from their classroom. When we got outside, I pulled away from him, leaning against the side of the van, screaming as loud as I could. Everything was all fucked up and I couldn't do anything about it.

"What can we do?" asked Rose as Edward pulled me into his arms, holding me.

"Nothing," I muttered. "We can't so anything until we find out who this motherfucker is. Until then, all we can is pray that nothing happens to any of them."

"Sounds like you are quitting to me," said Garrett, giving me a look. I turned and faced him. "Weren't you the same one who told me that we couldn't let them win? That we had to be strong?"

"I'm trying but-"

"There are no buts, B," he said, sharply. "You are acting like a crybaby, moaning and groaning about how you've lost everything. You haven't lost shit!"

"I'm trying to keep it that way but all you all doing is making me leave my babies unprotected!" I was getting angry, very angry.

"Nobody is leaving them unprotected," said Garrett, placing his hand on my shoulder. "You once told me that the only way to stop them was to fight. This is your chance to fight. You've worked too fucking hard to get your life back. Don't fucking blow it now."

Garrett slipped his hands into Emmett's and pulled him over toward their car. Rose and Kate followed, leaving us just standing there. I turned and climbed into the van without saying a word.

_Who the fuck asked Garrett what he thought anyway? _

Once we had the boys loaded into the van, and Alice, Jasper, and Edward were in their seats, we headed off to mine and Jasper's parents place. As Edward drove through the city, he would look back at me through the rearview mirror. He was only concerned and I knew that but it made me feel like a freak. Something I never thought I would feel with him.

When Edward pulled up in front of my parents house, they were already out on the porch waiting for us. We climbed out and I, once again, insisted on carrying the boys up to the front porch. Alice handed my father their diaper bags, nervously looking back at me. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to the heads, taking the time to memorize their sweet baby scent.

"Promise me that you will take care of them," I said, quietly.

"You sound like you won't be back for months, Bella," scoffed Charlie.

"Promise me, Daddy," I cried, urgently. He sobered up immediately.

"I promise, Honey. You have my word," he said, sincerely.

I believed him because he was my daddy and he would give his life for my children, I knew this, but it was incredibly hard to shift my boys into his arms. Turning, I ran back to the van and climbed into the backseat, feeling like I was leaving them for the vultures. Alice, Jasper, and Edward climbed in after me but didn't say anything. Edward started the van and headed into work and I looked out the window, watching the sun float in the sky.

"Remember the day we went to the beach together, just before we went to Forks about the houses," I murmured. "We were laying there, just enjoying ourselves and that old bitch came up to us, yelling at us that we were sinners."

"Yeah, I kind of wanted to beat her ass," said Alice, taking my hand in hers. I looked over at her. "Is that why you think this person is doing this?"

"I don't," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I just know that I am scared, terrified of losing one of you."

"You aren't going to," she insisted. "How many times do we have to tell you that?"

"A million more," I said, frowning. "I know what hell can feel like, I've been there. I know how in an instant these people snap and before you know it, you are fighting for your life. Only this time, it's not just me or you. There are babies in jeopardy."

"Don't you think we know that?" asked Jasper, turning in his seat. "Beautiful, we are all scared but letting that fear control you is not going to help anybody."

"I know that," I sighed, shaking my head. "You don't understand."

"We understand better than you think we do," murmured Jasper.

Ten awkwardly silent minutes later, we pulled up into the parking garage at the office. As we climbed out, I looked around, making sure that nobody was hiding, waiting for us put ourselves in the open for them. Edward slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him, trying to shield me from anyone who could be watching as we walked over to the elevator.

The ride up felt like it took forever. The doors finally opened and we stepped out, everyone in the office, stopped and stared at me. It made me feel very uncomfortable, like they could see right through me as we crossed the floor and headed down the hallway to my office. When we walked into my office, we found Carlisle sitting in front of my desk, manila folder in his hands an nervously tapping his foot on the ground.

"Carlisle, what-"

"You need to see this," he said, standing up. He held out the folder in his hands to me and I took it, gingerly. I opened the folder and the air left my lungs. "These were emailed to everyone who works here, and everyone we have ever worked with."

"No," I whimpered, dropping the folder as my knees buckled. Edward tried to keep me up but I fell to the ground, right in the middle of a dozen pictures of me completely naked.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I truly appreciate all of them. **


	18. Chapter 18

Bile rose in my throat as I looked at the naked pictures of me. They weren't in any particular order but they were all fairly recent, taken within the last few months or so at least. Pictures of me taking a shower, hands roaming freely over my body. Standing in the bathroom while I applied lotion to my skin; hands on my breasts, tummy, legs, and ass. In our bedroom while getting ready for work; thigh high stockings on, thongs, and sexy lace bras. In each and every picture I was alone, but that didn't mean that whoever took these, didn't have other of me with my lovers. All I knew for certain was based on the camera angles, whoever took these pictures of me had somehow gotten into the house and installed cameras. That meant, they could be watching our children, as well.

"Oh god," I cried, scrambling over and emptying the contents of my stomach into the waste basket. Edward was by my side in an instant, pulling my hair back and holding me up as I wretched over and over. I looked up at him, tears slipping down my face. "They…were…in…the…house."

"I know," he whispered.

"I don't care how much it costs," hissed Jasper. Looking past Edward, I saw him clutching his phone in his hand, enraged with whomever he was speaking with. "I want every inch of our house searched until you find every goddamn camera. Do you hear me? EVERY FUCKING INCH! THIS IS MY FAMILY WE ARE TALKIING ABOUT AND I WANT SOMETHING DONE YESTERDAY!"

Alice was sitting on the sofa, hands covering her face as she tried to be strong, but failing miserably. She knew, just as I did, that whoever took these, had gotten close to our children. Too close. Carlisle had flopped back in his chair, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. Anger soared through me as I scrambled to my feet, snatching the pictures off the floor.

"Is this proof enough for you?" I snarled, throwing them at him. Carlisle snapped his eyes to mine, shocked at the sheer venom lacing each word. "Or are these pictures just a part of my imagination, too?"

"I never thought you were making it up," he said, feebly defending himself.

"YES, YOU DID!" I screamed. Edward gripped my waist, pulling me backwards. "Maybe I need to take a break from work, or get some sleep. Isn't that what you said, Carlisle? That I was over worked and neglecting my family! That I was going to lose them because I was working too much!"

"I didn't mean that I didn't believe you." Carlisle stood up, reaching out for me but I stepped back. "Bella, I'm sorry."

"Just get out," I muttered. He stood there. "GET OUT OF MY FUCKING OFFICE!"

"Baby, calm down," murmured Edward, turning me in his arms and holding me.

"Bella-"

"Dad, just go," said Edward, arms tightening around me. "She needs some time."

Carlisle didn't say anything as he crossed my office, walking out and shutting the door behind him. My knees gave out as I started sobbing, fisting Edward's shirt in my hands, holding on to him as tightly as I could. Edward had me in his arms before I could blink, carrying me over to the couch. Alice automatically had the two of us wrapped up in her arms, holding us as much as she could while trying to keep herself together. Jasper finished his phone call and sat down next to Edward, reaching out and touching any part of my body he could, covering my hand with his. Needing to touch me, to touch us, as we sat trying to absorb just how fucked up everything had gotten.

Just the thought that someone had been watching me, watching us, as we lived day to day made me sick. They had watched us make love. They had watched our children playing, living, laughing, and smiling. Who gave this person the right to take my children's laughter and smiles? They weren't theirs to take. They were ours, only ours. This person had violated me. Violated us by invading our home. But it was more than that, too. They had taken that piece of me and shared it with everyone I worked with, everyone who had brought their business to us. How could this monster do this to me? To my family? A soft sob slipped out of my lips, causing my lovers to hold me tighter.

It wasn't until I heard a gentle knock on my office door that reality came crashing down onto me. I was at work, in my office. Only four walls and a door kept everyone who had seen me, all of me, away. How was I going to ever be able to look anyone in the eye again? Had I lost all the respect that I had earned from them over the last seven years? Shifting off of my lovers' laps, I settled down next to Jasper, wrapping my arms around my chest. The person on the other side of the door knocked again.

"Is it ok if I answer it?" asked Jasper, placing his hand on the lower part of my back. I simply nodded my head. He leaned over and kissed my temple before standing up and walking over the door. He pulled the door open and sighed. "Come on in."

He stepped out of the way as Jane Crenshaw stepped into my office. The five foot five, hazel eyed, blond looked over at me, offering me a small, pitiful smile. I didn't return it. There was nothing for me to smile about and she knew it. She reached down and pulled one of the chairs over, sitting down right in front of me, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap.

"So, I hear you've had a tough few days," she said.

"That's putting it mildly," I muttered, shifting my eyes to the floor.

"Give the two of us a few minutes alone, please," she requested. I snapped my eyes over, not wanting my lovers to leave me.

"We'll be right here," promised Alice, taking my hand and pulling it to her lips. "I promise."

"Ok," I breathed.

Edward and Jasper followed Alice out of my office, closing the door behind them, but not before looking back at me, clearly having a hard time with the distances, as well. I shifted my gaze back over to Jane, who sat watching us. When I first started seeing her, after nearly killing Kelly Novak, I had worried that she would judge me because of my marriage to Edward, Alice, and Jasper, but she never did. In fact, she encouraged me to lean on them more, especially when I was pregnant with Mackenzie and found myself struggling.

"Why didn't you call me Friday?" she asked.

"I didn't think I needed to," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Bella." Jane raised her eyebrow.

"Fine, I didn't want to need you," I huffed, standing up. I walked over and picked up the pictures I had tossed at Carlisle. "I thought I was going crazy."

"Why did you think that?" she asked. I turned and looked at her. Jane had turned in her seat and was watching me.

"Because I've been working too much, and I was tired. It felt like with every project that I wrapped up, I had ten more starting. Edward, Alice, and Jasper kept telling me to let Carlisle help but I couldn't."

"Why not?"

I sighed as I looked down at the pictures. "I didn't want to seem weak in front of him," I murmured. "He entrusted me with his company. After the accident, he gave up his retirement for me. I didn't want to have him doing more than he has to do."

"Did he offer to help?" she asked.

I looked away. "Yes."

"So if he offered, why don't you let him?" she pressed.

I shook my head as I dropped the pictures onto my desk and walked over to my window. "I can't."

"You can. You chose not to," she said.

"How can I ask him to take time away from his family?" I asked.

"You're his family, too."

"I am," I admitted. "But he needs them to breathe."

"Like you need Edward, Jasper, and Alice," she commented.

Turning back to Jane, I nodded. "I can't lose them." I frowned. "It would kill me to lose them or our children."

"And how are you dealing with it?" she asked.

"I don't know," I sighed, leaning against the window. "I'm freaking out, I guess. All I want to do is wrap my arms around everyone and keep them tucked away but I can't do that."

"No, you can't," she said, shaking her head. She looked over at the pictures. "Tell me how you feel about those."

I inhaled sharply. "I feel sick, physically. And I'm scared."

"Is that all?" asked Jane.

"Isn't that enough?" I snarled. However, Jane just sat there.

"It would be if you were being honest with yourself and me, Bella."

"What do you want me say?" I asked, harshly.

"I want you to tell me how you feel instead of bottling it up, like you always do," she said, standing up. "That's what put you on my couch the first time, Bella. You keep so much inside, until one day, you find yourself losing it."

"I have to keep it together," I muttered, clenching my teeth together. "My family needs me to be strong."

"They do," she agreed, "but they also need you to let them take care of you."

"That's all they've ever done." Turning back to the window, I told her, "They are always having to carry me through one mess after another. First, Ali did it with Jake. Then they all helped me get through Alex, the accident, losing myself, and, finally, with Kelly." Pausing, I looked back at Jane. "When are they going to get tired of dealing with the all the shit that happens to me?"

Jane stood there, considering me for a moment before she walked over to my office door, pulling it open. "Let's ask them, shall we?"

Before I could stop her, she took off out the door. Without thinking twice, I rushed after her. She walked down the hallway, ignoring the whispers as I followed after her. My hands were clenched tightly and I could feel the panic begin to rise as everyone stared at me. Turning, I stopped and looked back at everyone who worked on my floor.

"Get your asses back to work," I snapped.

They must have heard the underlying threat in each word because as soon as the words were out of my mouth, everyone scattered like mice. I turned back as Jane threw open the door to Jasper, Carlisle, and Embry's office, not bothering to knock. Feeling my heart ache, I followed her inside. Edward, Alice, and Jasper were standing in the middle of the office, looking like someone had just slapped them. Clearly, I was too late to stop Jane.

"Bella?" asked Alice, sadly. "What does she mean?"

"What did she say?" I worried, looking around.

"She asked us if we were getting tired of you." I could hear the hurt in each word Jasper spoke. I shifted my eyes to the floor, not sure what to say to them. "Look at us, Bella," he hissed. I snapped my eyes up to his. "Is that what you think? That we would just get tired of you?"

"I've got work to do," I muttered, turning and walking out of the office.

Before I could take more than a step, Edward grabbed my arm, spinning me back around while Alice pushed past us, and slammed the door shut. Carlisle and Embry sat at their desks, holding their breathes and clearly unsure of what they should do, or say.

"Answer the question, Bella," said Edward. I shook my head, refusing to meet his eyes. "Answer the fucking question, Isabella."

"Why would you stay?" I asked, pulling my arm out of his hand. He stepped back, like I had I just slapped him. "All I've done is make life harder for you."

"All you've done?" he asked. "You've fought against the odds by taking control of you life after the accident. You gave us children and work your ass off so that none of us ever want for anything, and that's all you've done?"

"I've put the kids at risk," I choked out, trying to stop the tears from falling again. He reached out for me but I stepped back.

"You didn't do anything," insisted Jasper. I shook my head. "Don't shake your fucking head at me, Bella."

"I had to have done something," I seethed, causing him to gasp. "First Jacob, then Alex and Kelly. Some stupid drunk driver nearly kills me, and now some other fucking crazy lunatic is out there, watching me, watching us, watching them. HE'S WATCHING OUR BABIES!" I screamed.

"Don't you think we know that, Bella? We saw your car and the pictures. We are doing everything we can to keep them safe, to keep you safe because, Baby, I can't lose you. You've been my girl for more than half my life," objected Alice.

"Ali," I wept, bringing my hand up, covering my mouth. "I can't go through this again. You know the hell I went through with Jacob."

"Which is exactly how I know that you can do anything," she murmured, slipping her arms around me. "Baby, you are not blame for anything that this person is doing."

I hugged her back, letting my tears go. After Jacob nearly killed me, Alice had been my life savior. She knew better than anyone just how much he took from me. Not that Edward and Jasper didn't know, they did but they didn't see it. Even after Alex and Kelly both tried to kill me, I kept so much inside, locked away. Alice had lived it with me.

"I'm going to head out," murmured Jane, from somewhere behind me. "Let me know if she needs me again."

"Jane, thank you," said Carlisle. I lifted my head and looked over at him. He shook her hand, and closed the door behind her. Looking back at me, he frowned. "I'm sorry if I over stepped my bounds, Bella, by calling her," he said, chin trembling. "I've just been so worried about you."

He reached up and wiped a tear from his face. Before he could say anything else, I pulled away from Alice and hugged him, wrapping my arms around his midsection. Carlisle wrapped his arms around me, bringing his hand up to rest on the back of my head. My fingers curled up, gripping the back of his pale blue dress shirt, clinging onto my father-in-law.

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch, Carlisle," I sobbed. "It's all just been too much."

"I know, Sweetheart," he soothed, holding me snuggling against his chest. "I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I worry so much about you, Bella. Don't let yourself get lost."

"Maybe it's too late," I whispered.

"Oh, Bella, it's not too late," he gasped, leaning back. I looked up at him, vaguely aware of everyone watching us. "Sweetheart, you can't give this asshole power over you."

"He or she already has it," I muttered. "Carlisle, they were in our house. They could get our children."

"That won't happen," said Jasper. I turned and looked at him. "Emmett and Garrett are both at the house as I speak, making sure that all the locks are changed, and that every single camera is found."

"I won't go back there," I told him.

"Bella-"

"I won't go back there," I exclaimed, clenching my fists. "I can't go back there, not where they can see me."

"Beautiful, I promise that they are going to get every camera out," insisted Jasper. I shook my head as I stepped backward.

"I can't go in there," I cried. "I can't."

"You'll stay with us, until you feel safe to back into that house," said Embry. We all looked over at him, having forgotten that he was still in the room. He stood up, placing his hands on his hips, taking a deep breath, ragged breath. "Let us be there for you," he said, thickly. "Like you were there for us when we needed you." He paused, running his hands over his eyes. Looking over at my lovers, he said, "Please?"

All I could do was nod my head, moved by the sincerity in each word he spoke. Edward, Alice, and Jasper all agreed, as well, even if they were more reluctant than I was. I just knew that if I stepped back into that house right now, I was going to lose it. My home had been violated, too. Trying to regain some of my self-composure, I turned to Carlisle.

"Any word on how this person hacked into our system and got access to our client and employee email list?" I asked.

"Not yet," he said, brusquely "I have a guy on it, though."

"Who?" I worried, thinking about the pictures that would still be there. Carlisle smiled and blushed.

"William," he chuckled. However, this didn't make me any happier. He was one of my in-laws and I didn't want him seeing those pictures anymore than I wanted anyone else to. Carlisle seemed to realize that, too, and said, "Bella's he's the best person for the job."

"I'll do it," I disagreed, shaking my head. "I can do it."

"No," he said. Before I could say anything, he held up his hand. "I don't mean that you can't actually do it, because we know you can, but you do not need to do this."

"Carlisle, those were pictures of me," I muttered, dropping my eyes to the floor. "I need to do this."

Carlisle sighed, bringing his hand up and running it through his hair, much like Edward did when he was frustrated. Shaking his head again, he finally gave in. "Fine, but if you need help, I want you to swear that you will ask."

"I promise," I said, nodding my head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I, um…" I let my words go as I fidgeted. "We should call a company meeting. We need to address this… issue."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" asked Carlisle. I shook my head, because I was scared to death to do that but I knew I needed to.

"I have to," I murmured, uncomfortably. "After lunch, ok?"

"Ok," he said, quickly.

I turned and walked out of their office, knowing that Edward, Jasper, and Alice would be right behind me. Even though they tried, everyone still stared, gawking, gaping at me like I standing in front of them completely naked. Wrapping my arms around myself, I realized they probably were imagining me naked. Walking into my office, I left the door open only to hear it close as my lovers came in behind me. I picked up the pictures off my desk.

"Bella," said Alice. I turned and looked at her.

I shook my head, letting my tears fill my eyes. "They got too close," I whispered.

"They did," admitted Jasper, moving over and taking the pictures from my hands. Taking a deep breath, he dropped them back onto my desk. "They won't again."

"You can't promise that," I muttered, sadly.

"I want to," he whispered, leaning his forehead down onto mine. "I really want to promise you that."

"Jas," I wept, slipping my arms around him.

"I know, Beautiful." Pressing his lips down onto mine, he whispered, "I'm scared, too."

With that little omission, we broke down together, letting Alice and Edward hold us. Our family was being attacked, and we had no idea who was doing this or why they had targeted me.

**Thank you for all the reviews. This chapter was a bit of bitch to write today… I don't know why but finding the right words were hard. I know Bella seems like a whiny, bitch right now, but putting myself in her shoes, I probably would be as well. Anyway, if you are interested, there is a group over on face book that my girl, lvtwilight09, made for me. You can request to join by following the link on my profile. In case you haven't been reading it, go check out Breach by Catastrophia, which can be found under my favs. Let me just say this, lots of dirty talking Edward and rough sex…**


	19. Chapter 19

You know that dream where you go to school or work and it's not until you are standing in the middle of the hallway or office that you realize you are completely naked? I fucking wish this was a dream. As Edward, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, Embry, and I made our way from our floor down to the first floor of Cullen Architecture, everyone waiting for the elevator or gathering everything they needed for the meeting, kept looking at me. Never in my life had I felt like a bigger freak.

My lovers stood around me,trying to protect me from the vulture's beady eyes. But it was useless. Even if they couldn't actually see me, they had the pictures and could look at me all they wanted. Wrapping my arms around my body, I shuddered. The doors to the elevator opened and the six of us stepped on while everyone else stood there, leering at me until the doors slid closed. I shuddered again.

"That's just fucking lovely," I muttered, looking anywhere other than at them.

"Don't let them bother you," whispered Alice, taking my hand in hers.

"Sure, no problem," I murmured. "That's pretty easy to do, right? Just pretend like everyone hasn't seen me completely naked."

"I know it's not, but-"

As the doors slid open, I let go of her hand. "There are no buts, Ali. I will never be looked at the same after this, no matter what."

Walking out of the elevator, I left them all standing there, sadness and sorrow pouring off of each of them. They followed me out, not saying anything. I was being a bitch, I knew this, but after the shit filled morning I had, I deserved to be a bitch. At least, I needed to be one for a few more minutes if I was going to get through this meeting without having a complete breakdown.

We walked into the largest conference room we had in the building and made our way to the front of the room, all while people gawked openly at me and whispered about my tight ass, perky tits, and pretty pussy. My hands were clenched so tight, I was sure my fingers would break, and bile filled my throat. I had one hundred and twenty-seven employees and I had tried to get to know all of them. Hearing them talk about me like this, was nothing short of insulting.

I stood back for a few more minutes letting the last minute dawdlers make their way inside. Jasper, Edward, and Alice kept a hand on me, trying to keep me together. Trying to keep themselves together. Taking a deep breath, and trying to stop the bile and tears, I stepped up to the podium, drawing the attention of everyone, not that it had been hard to do. All of them had been gawking at me since I came into the room. My hands shook violently and my mouth was dry, and it took every ounce of my very limited self-control to not to scream at them all to stop looking at me.

"Thank you all for coming," I started, hearing the tremble in my voice. Taking another deep breath, I went on. "By now I'm sure that all of you have either seen the pictures of me that were emailed to everyone or have heard about them. I can't begin to express to you how mortified I am that someone could be so callous as to violate not only me, but everyone in my family. Now, I would love to believe that the moment you saw what those pictures showed, you closed them and deleted the email." I paused, looking around, seeing people shifting in their seats. "But I know you didn't. With the way you're all looking at me, staring at me, I know you've probably opened them more than a dozen times."

Stepping around the front of the podium, I looked around, noticing that everyone was trying not to look me over, imaging me without my clothes on. "Did you like what you saw?" I asked, harshly. Everyone snapped their eyes up to mine. "Did you enjoy seeing me as naked as I was the day I was born? Did you get a good view of everything?"

Silence.

"I had always thought of this building, an extension of my home," I went on. "I have never treated a one of you like anything less than my family and this is how I am treated?"

Silence.

"I will find out who did this, how they got access to our mainframe and when I do, I will make sure they pay. If you have any information, it would be better for you to come and talk to me now, before I find you. Let's not forget, people, that we have a business to run here, and people counting on us. I expect everyone to stay professional. If it's becomes a problem, I will handle it swiftly. Am I clear?"

Everyone murmured a soft yes, shifting their eyes away from me. Without another word, I walked out of the room, leaving them all to sit and stew. Shutting the door behind me, I leaned against the wall and took a deep, shaky breath. How I managed to get up there and say anything was beyond me, but I did, and maybe, just maybe, they would understand. The doors to the conference room opened and I looked over to see Alice, Jasper, and Edward come out.

"Hey, Baby," murmured Edward, reaching out and grabbing my hips, pulling me to him. "You did really good."

I shook my head. "They stared at me," I whispered. "I could feel them imagining me naked."

"Want us to kick all their asses?" asked Jasper, slipping his arms around me and Edward. "Because we totally will, right, Edward?"

"Totally," he chuckled.

"Yeah, I'll hit all the woman in the boobs and pull their hair," giggled Alice, slipping in with us. I smiled weakly.

"You would really do that for me?" I asked.

"We'd do anything for you, Baby." Alice brought her hand up to my cheek. "Anything and everything. When are you going to understand that?"

"Never," I murmured. "I will never understand why you love me the way you do. Especially after everything I've put you through."

"Bella, it's not you," said Edward, frowning. "You haven't put us through anything but a fuck load of pleasure and happiness."

The doors to the conference room opened again and people started pouring out, stopping and looking at me. As each person walked past me, it became harder and harder to stand there. Edward and Jasper both glared at everyone while Alice tried to step in front of me and shield my body with hers but it was pointless. They already had the images in their heads. Carlisle and Embry were the last two to come out, glaring at the last of the stragglers, who were staring at me.

"You might as well give up," I told both of them. "They can't help but look."

"I want to gauge their eyes out," muttered Carlisle, walking past us. "Nobody fucking messes with my daughter."

Carlisle's word touched me. I always knew he cared about me but I guess I never really thought that he saw me as his daughter. Edward slipped his hand into mine as we followed everyone back up to our offices. Alice and Jasper kissed us both before heading down to their separate offices. Edward and I went into mine and tried to work but it wasn't going any better than our morning had gone.

We had spent the morning answering questions from the dozen or so clients that had called in, asking about the pictures. It was mortifying and embarrassing to have to explain to them that someone had broken into our mainframe and gained access to everything. All respect that we had worked so hard to build with them had been thrown out the window and it would be a miracle if any of them ever brought their business back to us again. This could quite possibly be the end to my company.

As if spending the day trying to keep my company from collapsing entirely wasn't enough, Edward got a call from Emmett just before we were getting ready to leave for the day. Based on the one-sided conversation that I had overheard, it appeared that whoever got into our house and planted those camera's, placed at least five in every room, making sure they could capture every angle of our house. I threw up in the wastebasket again.

Once he was done on the phone, we gathered all our belongings and headed down to the elevator to meet Jasper and Alice, who were glaring at everyone as they stared at us. I appreciated the effort they were making but it didn't really make a difference. Trying my hardest not to let them all effect me, I climbed into the elevator and tried to be brave. Tried but failed miserably.

Edward pulled the van up in front of the school twenty minutes later and the four us climbed out, nearly sprinting for the front door. My nerves had just about had enough for one day and I needed to see my girls. See for myself that they really were ok. We got to their classroom door just as Mrs. White opened it. Demetri was the first one out, looking around. His eyes met mine and softened. Nodding his head slowly, he stepped out of the way and let the kids out.

Whitley and Mackenzie came running out, jumping in Edward and Jasper's waiting arms. They were giggling, and talking a mile a minute about everything they had done at school that day. My eyes were still on Demetri, who was watching me just as closely. Pulling away from my family, I walked over to him.

"You kept them safe today," I said.

He nodded his head. "Yes, ma'am."

"You'll keep them safe everyday," I added.

"Every single day, ma'am," he promised. I nodded my head, looking back at my girls.

"You have to understand what I went through for them," I murmured, feeling emotional.

"I do," he said, quietly. I turned back to him.

"You don't," I disagreed. "I battled through hell."

"You're a mom. It's what you do."

"Have you protected a lot of kids?" I asked.

"Yes, ma'am," said Demetri.

"Ever lost one?" My voice shook.

"No, and I don't plan on losing any either." Demetri ran his hand through his dark hair. "I'll protect them with my life."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," I murmured.

Leaving him standing there, I went back over to Edward, Jasper, Alice, and the girls, taking their little hands in mine as we walked out of the school. They talked and talked about how Demetri played on the playground with them and how he chased all the gross boys away, except for Clayton and Jonah, of course. I tried to smile but all I could think about was that whoever was after me, could have been watching them all day. How could I trust anyone with my girls?

Edward stopped over at my parents' house so we could pick up the boys. Whitley and Mackenzie ran inside, jumping in Charlie and Peter's waiting arms while Edward, Alice, Jasper, and I followed. Watching my father and Peter with their grandchildren was sweet. Our children had been lucky to have grandparents who were involved with everything they did. Renee and Charlotte were in the living with Jackson and Edison. Bringing my hand up to my chest, I thought about how lucky we were to have the support of family.

"How was work?" asked Charlie, cryptically. I rolled my eyes as I looked over at him. I knew Carlisle well enough to have warned everyone about what had happened. We learned long ago that secrets were deadly.

"Just wonderful," I said, sarcastically. "Nothing like having your life ruined."

"It's not ruined," he sighed, pulling me into his arms and hugging me.

"Feels like it is," I muttered. "They watched me, Daddy. They watched our kids."

"I know, Sweetheart," he murmured, rubbing my back. "But it's going to be ok."

Pulling away from my father, I sighed. "I'm really getting tired of hearing that." Everyone turned and looked at me. "None of you can promise that everything is going to be ok. You don't know what people like this are capable of doing. I do, I've been there."

"We know that, Bella, but-"

"There are no buts, Peter," I argued. "The police, Alice, everyone told me that Jacob Black couldn't hurt me, and he nearly killed me. We had to leave everything we had in San Francisco and run for our lives, hoping and praying that he wouldn't find us. You have no idea what it was like to have to run and hide!"

"Maybe not but just because he found you doesn't mean that this person will," said Peter.

"He's already found us!" I yelled. "He knows where we live, where we work. He probably knows everything about us and is just waiting until the right moment before taking everything away."

"Mommy," cried Mackenzie, running over and jumping in my arms. She wrapped her arms and legs around me, holding on as tightly as she could. "Please don't cry, Mommy."

I slid to the floor with my daughter wrapped around me, crying into my neck. Whitley came over, placing her arms around the two if us, trying to make everything better. Slipping my arm around her and pulling her into our embrace, I looked over Mackenzie's shoulder and right at my father. Charlie stood there, tears swimming in his eyes and anguish on his face. Peter had his arms around my father, trying to comfort him as much as he could.

"Promise me that everything is going to be ok, Daddy," I begged. "Make it all better, please, Daddy!"

"I..." Charlie trailed off, bringing his hand up to his mouth. "I want to, Sweetheart."

"You can't," I cried, standing up with my girls in my arms. "You couldn't keep me safe from Jacob Black, or Alex, Kelly Novak, or that fucking drunk driver!"

"Mommy, you said a bad word," gasped Whitley, leaning back.

"I'm sorry, Honey," I murmured. Looking back over my shoulder to my father, I said, "I am trying, Daddy. Tell me how to make everything right again."

Silence

Setting the girls on their feet, I took their hands in mine and led them out of the house. I heard Edward, Alice, and Jasper tell them that they would talk to me, make me understand that they were just trying to help. I knew that, I wasn't stupid but all everyone ever said was how everything was going to be ok, nobody would get hurt, they would stop this son of a bitch. Whoever was doing this had destroyed my car, and invaded our home. How could anyone guarantee that everything was going to be ok?

I got the girls loaded into the van while Edward and Alice got the boys into their car seats. The drive to Embry and Jared's house was made in silence. Even the kids seemed to understand that everything was all fucked up right now. Whitley and Mackenzie kept their hands in mine and I kept my eyes behind us, making sure we weren't being followed. _Like I would be able to tell. _Edward pulled up into Embry and Jared's large circle driveway and cut the engine, looking back at all of us.

"Daddy, why are we here?" asked Mackenzie, unbuckling her seat belt.

"Um, we are going to stay with Uncle Embry and Uncle Jared for a while," he replied, looking right at me. "We are having some things down at home and can't stay there so they offered to let us stay here."

"Oh, ok," she giggled, climbing out after Whitley.

The girls ran up into the house while Jasper and Alice took the boys in. Edward and I stayed where we were, him in the driver's seat and me all the way in the back. He turned in his seat, facing me and frowning. I hated that he was sad and hurting. Guilt ate at me, because I knew I wasn't helping the situation at all.

"We love you," he said, quietly.

"I love you, too," I murmured.

"You're scared, we get that."

"I'm terrified," I whispered, feeling the tears pricking at the sides of my eyes. "I haven't felt like this in a long time."

"Since that day in Forks?" he asked.

Looking away, I muttered, "Yeah."

"Me too," he whispered. I turned back to him. "This fucker got too close, Baby." I nodded my head. Jasper and Alice came back out, settling into the middle seats of the van. "You're pulling away from us again."

"I don't know how else to handle this," I cried. Silence filled the van. "It's been almost eight years since we met," I murmured.

"Eight amazing years," smiled Jasper.

I nodded my head, agreeing with him. "There is nothing I want more than to believe that everything is going to be ok," I said, frowning. "I want to be able to go back to our home and not feel like I'm being watched every fucking second that I'm in there, or when I'm not. I want to hold the kids and not to be afraid that I will never get to hold them again because this fucker will get to them. I don't know how to feel safe anymore. Please, tell me how to feel safe!"

"You start by not pushing us away." Jasper reached back and grabbed my hand, lifting it up to his lips. "You keep going by telling us how you feel."

"You'll get tired of hearing it," I murmured.

"You don't fucking know what we get tried of, Bella," he grumbled. "We will never get tired of you, ever."

"How can you say that?" I asked. "After everything-"

"That's exactly how we can say that," interrupted Edward. "Baby, we stuck by you when your parents called you a whore and treated us like scum. We stayed by you while you saved my sister's life, even though it nearly cost you yours."

"We stayed by you even though you didn't know who we were for weeks," said Jasper.

"I left everything behind for you, Bella," Alice wept, moving into the backseat with me. Taking my face in her hands, she leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. "I've loved you for half my life, Baby. You and me, we've been through hell and back. I will go to hell and back with you again."

"If I get lost on the way?" I whispered.

"I'll find you," she murmured. "I'll always find you."

"Promise?" I cried.

"I promise."

Alice may have been the one to murmured the words, but it was a promise given by all three of them. They loved me, I never doubted that they loved me, but how much was going to be too much? If this crazy person actually got to the kids, would they still be willing to stick next to me? Or would they throw me away?

**Thank you for all the reviews. So, yeah, this chapter sucks ass. I know it but I can't figure out how to make it better so I am just going to give it to you. Bella's being overly dramatic, and whiny, I know, but I think she has every reason to be acting like this. Next chapter, I think it's time to hear from Jasper.**


	20. Chapter 20

**JPOV**

"Yes, sir, I know that, but...if you would just let me explain," said Bella, talking into the phone. "I can assure you that I am doing everything possible to keep your account as secure as I can...I know, but...Mr. Marks, please, just give us another chance...no, I understand...of course, no hard feelings at all...No, thank you."

Bella sighed as she hung up the phone, dropping her head down onto the desk. "Lose another one?" I asked.

"Yeah," she muttered, not bothering to lift her head. "That's five today alone."

"Beautiful-"

"I swear to fucking god, Jas, if you say everything is going to be ok, I will jump over this desk and beat the shit out of you," threatened Bella, looking up at me. Edward and Alice bit back their laughter, but I smiled. She was like a little kitten, pretending to be a tiger. "I'm serious," she insisted.

"I believe you," I smiled. "But it's going to be ok."

Bella let out a menacing little growl as she stood up and came running around her desk, jumping into my lap, straddling me. My hands automatically slid to her ass, grabbing a handful. "Told you," she smirked, leaning down and licking my lips.

"But you didn't jump over you desk," I moaned, sucking her tongue into my mouth.

Bella brought her hands up, weaving them through my hair as she ground herself onto my lap, causing my cock to stand at attention. Her ivory skirt had ridden up her thighs, and I could feel the top of her stockings. My cock twitched. Gasping, Bella pulled her lips from mine, but brought them down to my jaw.

"Fuck, Bella," I growled.

Before she could say anything, her phone rang. Muttering under her breath, she climbed off my lap and headed back over, picking it up. "Hello...yes, hello, Mr. Sanders...oh, you did...well, I can explain...no, sir, this is not how I run my company," said Bella, closing her eyes.

I shared a look with Edward and Alice. This was the tenth phone call Bella had received this afternoon alone, and based on the way this call was going, Mr. Sanders would be the sixth client to pull their account from Bella's company today and at least the fifteenth this week. It had been a long, long week.

While Bella put a brave face on during the day, we knew her better than anyone and all three of us saw just how much pain she was in. Rage filled me when I thought about all this fucker was doing to her, to all of us, but mostly to her. Sighing, she slammed the phone down. Cursing under her breath, she stood up and walked out of her office, slamming the door shut behind her.

"I'm just going to guess that she didn't get good news," said Alice.

"Pretty safe bet there, Baby," sighed Edward, running his hand through his hair.

"I'm going to go talk to her," I murmured, standing up.

Neither Edward or Alice said anything as I walked out of Bella's office. We had all been so worried about her. Every night in her sleep, she would whimper and cry, begging this person to leave her alone, to leave us and the kids alone. When she woke up, she would put on a brave face and blow us off or tell us it's nothing, but that was a lie, and we all knew it. On the inside, Bella was losing control.

I found her in the break room, making a new pot of coffee and tapping her nails on the counter. Walking up behind her, I slipped my arms around her, but she shrugged me off. I couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt.

"Not here," she said, quietly, looking back at me. "Everyone can see."

"Um, Beautiful, everyone already knows that you and I are married," I pointed out.

"I know that, but it doesn't mean we have to shove it all into their faces," she muttered, darkly.

Sighing, I reached out and placed my hands on her hips and pulling her into my arms. "Baby, I will not let some assholes stop me from holding my wife when she needs me."

"I don't like it when they stare," she whispered, turning in my arms and laying her head on my chest.

"Assholes," I grumbled, thinking about the way nearly everyone in this company had been treating her. Everyone but Jessica, Eric, Embry, Tia, Corbin, and John, had gawked at her, ogled her as she came in every morning or went home every evening. "Ignore them."

"Not that easy," she sighed.

"No, it's not," I agreed, leaning my forehead down onto her. Bella's eyes fluttered to a close as she laid her hands on my chest.

"I'm going to lose this company," she whispered. "We've already lost fifteen clients this week alone and...I've just fucked everything up."

"You haven't done anything," I reminded her.

"Jas."

"I love you," I said, smiling.

A slow, sensual smile spread across her lips and pink filled her cheeks. "I love you, too."

"Let's go out tonight," I suggested. Bella started to protest. "Just me and you, Edward and Alice. Just the four of us. Dinner, dancing, a movie, whatever you want, but we need a night to just be together."

"And the kids?" she asked, nervously. "Embry and Jared can't take all the kids."

"Sure, we can," snorted Embry. I looked over my shoulder as he walked into the break room, coffee cup in his hands. "What can't we do?"

"I was thinking it would be nice if Bella, Edward, Alice, and I went out tonight." I explained. Embry nodded his head as he poured himself a fresh cup of coffee and took a sip.

"Damn, that's good coffee," he sighed, dreamily. I chuckled at him. He and Bella had an unhealthy love for coffee. "And we can take the kids, Bella. Don't even think about arguing with me, either."

"You can't-"

"No, I said don't argue with me," interrupted Embry. I kissed the top of Bella's head, hiding my smile. The man had balls. "You and your lovers need a night off, just enjoy being together. Jared and I can handle the kids."

"No-"

"Isabella, I told you not to argue with me," he scolded her. "I've made my decision. Now, shut that pretty little mouth."

"I'm still your boss, Embry," gritted Bella, teeth clenched together.

"Oh, I know," he laughed, walking out of the break room. Bella shook her head and looked back at me.

"Why did I hire him?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Because the others were all wankers," I snorted, kissing her.

"They were," she agreed. Biting on her bottom lip, she hesitated. "You really think Embry and Jared can handle five kids all on their own?"

"I do."

Closing her eyes as she took a deep breath, she said, "Ok, we can go out tonight."

"Excellent," I murmured, a plan already forming inside my mind. This was going to be perfect.

oOoOoOoO

"What is taking them so long?" groaned Edward, pacing back and forth in front of the elevator.

"Maybe we should check on them," I suggested, cocking an eyebrow at him. "You know how those two get when they are alone. Alice probably has Bella spread over her desk, tongue buried deep in her pussy."

"I did but I don't now," laughed Alice.

Turning, Edward and I found the two most incredibly beautiful and sexy women standing in front of us. Alice wore a short red strapless dress that made her legs look twice as long, especially with the black heels she was wearing. Her long dark hair had been pulled up into a messy twist and her eyes sparkled with excitement. Bella stood nervously at her side, fiddling with the hem of her short black dress. Two thin spaghetti straps were all that held the dress on her slender shoulders. Her feet were tucked into a pair of black heels, too, but they were shorter than Alice's, knowing that even though her hip was better, she still had to be careful. Bella's hair had been left down in the back but pulled up one side. I heard Edward groan again, and I knew exactly why. They looked fucking amazing.

Alice had taken off this afternoon and gone back home, picking up clothes for her and Bella to wear tonight. Bella still wasn't ready to go back into our house, and I didn't blame her. I had been in there a couple of times, but always felt uncomfortable. Just knowing that someone had gone into our home and planted cameras, violating all of us and taking away the only place we had where we didn't have to wonder what people thought about our relationship, was mortifying.

"Are you just going to stare at us?" asked Alice, slipping her arm around Bella, placing her hand just under Bella's breast.

"Um," I mumbled, taking a deep breath. "Fuck, you both look amazing."

"Thanks," murmured Bella, blushing. Always blushing for us.

"Fuck," was all Edward could get out.

He moved over and pulled Bella into his arms, leaning down and suckling on the side of her neck, causing Bella's eyes to flutter to a close. Alice smiled as she moved over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Watching Bella and Edward like this, when their connection to each other was so evident it could only be called beautiful. Tightening my arms around Alice, I leaned down and kissed her.

"You look incredible, Baby," I murmured.

"So do you," whispered Alice, leaning up to my ear. "She's terrified. I hope you have a plan for tonight."

"I do," I said, hoping this wasn't going to backfire on me.

We rode the elevator down to the parking garage and climbed into my truck, which Alice was nice enough to bring back instead of the van. For one night, we needed to be free, and that van didn't make us feel free at all. I drove with Alice in the front seat, sitting with her body turned to me and a smile on her face. Through the rear view mirror, I saw Bella leaning against Edward, head on his shoulder and eyes closed. Every once in a while agony would spread across her face and she would open her eyes, looking around wildly. This ass had done a real number on her, that's for sure.

I pulled the truck up down at the dock at the beach half an hour later, and cut the engine. Bella sat up and looked around, cocking her eyebrow. "Where are we?" she asked.

"At the beach," I laughed. She rolled her eyes as I opened my door and climbed out. Pulling her door open, I held her hand as she climbed out of the truck. "Baby, trust me."

"I do," she murmured, leaning up and kissing me. "With my life."

Those few words spoke volumes. Edward and Alice came around the truck, holding hands and smiling. Slipping my arm around Bella, I led all of them down to the end of the dock. Bella gasped, bringing her hand up to her mouth. In front of us was a largish boat, or small yacht, depending on your view on the matter. The entire deck of the boat had been strung out in white lights. She turned and looked at me and Edward.

"How did you do this?" she asked.

"Don't look at me, Love," chuckled Edward, looking over at me. "He's the man with the plan."

"Jas?" asked Bella, shifting her eyes to me.

"What? I just wanted to do something special for you, all three of you."

"But how?"

"The Volturi Brothers might have helped," I admitted. Bella smiled and looked back at the boat, nodding her head in understanding. The Volturi Brothers had been one of the only companies not to turn their backs on us this week and we valued their friendship. Slipping my arm firmer around her waist, I turned her to face me. Lowering my lips down to hers, I whispered. "Try to enjoy yourself, for me, for us."

"I am," she whispered, bringing her hand up to my cheek, kissing me deeper.

Reluctantly, I pulled my lips away from hers and led her over to the boat, climbing on and helping her on board. Alice squealed as Edward swept her into his arms, and climbed in. They took their seats, while I headed up into the bridge and started the boat, taking us out onto the water. We had just started when I felt a pair of strong arms, wrap around my midsection. Edward leaned his head down, kissing the small patch of skin behind my ear.

"You know, you're pretty fucking amazing," he murmured, nipping at my ear.

"I'm not, just trying to get all our minds off the craziness," I replied.

"No, you are." Edward smiled, moving so that he was standing next to me. "You've been the strongest of us all."

"I don't know about that," I sighed, shaking my head. "I just don't know how to make it better."

I shut the engine, letting us drift in the water for a bit and turned to Edward. "I'm worried about her."

"Me too," he admitted, looking back to where Alice and Bella were sitting, foreheads leaning together and fingers grazing each other's skin. Their lips were moving as they whispered to each other, sharing an intimate moment. Laughing softly, Edward grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his lips. "Let's join them."

Wish a simple nod of my head, I let Edward pull me back out onto the deck of the boat, to where our wives sat. They shifted their eyes over to us, giggling quietly together. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Nothing," murmured Alice, tucking a strand of hair behind Bella's ear.

Bella smiled, and it almost reached her eyes, as she looked out over the water. "It's nice out here," she said, quietly. "Almost perfect."

Silence drifted over us as we listened to the water hitting the side of the boat. Bella pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, darkness filling her eyes. Alice brought her hand up to her lips, trying to say what we've already said a hundred times; everything was going to be ok. And while I believed each word with all of my heart and soul, I knew I couldn't guarantee that everything would work out, that this monster wouldn't get to her, or us, or our children. No matter how much I wanted to.

"I'm starving," I muttered, standing up.

"We're heading back in already?" asked Bella, shifting her eyes back over to me.

"No," I smirked.

I headed down below and pulled out dinner out of the small refrigerator. Just one more favor the Volturi Brothers had done for me. Making my way back up to the deck, I set the food down on the small table Edward had pulled out for us. Bella saw the label on the bag and smiled, a real smile. One that stretched across her face and reminded me of the night Edward and I met her and Alice.

Pulling out the square Chinese containers, I smirked and said, "I thought it would be nice, seeing as it is our place."

"We haven't been there in months," sighed Alice, grabbing her favorite, chicken cashew. "Why don't we eat there more?"

"The girls don't like it," replied Bella, opening her chicken broccoli but didn't start eating. Looking back at the city, she murmured, "Do you think they are ok?"

Edward reached over, taking her hand and trying to reassure her. "I'm sure they are fine, Baby. Jared and Embry will take good care of them."

Bella turned back and smiled, sheepishly. "I know."

While we ate dinner, Bella kept looking back at the city lights. Clearing the table, I turned on the radio and pulled her up from her seat. She smiled, cheeks flushing a soft pink as she placed her hands in mine. I slipped my arm around her waist, holding her against my body and keeping her hand wrapped snugly in mine.

"Dance with me." Not really asking, seeing as she was already in my arms.

Nodding her head, she murmured, "I'd love to."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward sweep Alice into his arms, holding her much like I held Bella. Till The End Of Time by Timothy Bloom came on and Bella sighed, laying her head on my chest. Holding onto her as tightly as I could, I let my body lead hers. I wanted this moment to last forever, when everything was peaceful and calm, nothing trying to come in between us, all of us. Bella looked up at me, tears swimming in her eyes and, even though, she hadn't spoken a word, I knew what she felt. Scared, confused, lost. The same feelings all of us were feeling.

"Jas," was all she murmured.

And I said the only thing I could. "I love you. We love you."

Because she knew, just as we did, that nothing I said would make it better. "I love you. All of you." Bella brought her hand up to my face. "Show me," she pleaded, breathing heavily. "Show me how you love me."

Before I could answer her, or show her how much I loved her, Bella was unbuttoning my shirt and sliding it down my arms. Her fingers grazed over my skin, causing me to shiver under her touch. I reached behind her and unzipped her dress, slowly pulling the thin straps down her arms, letting it pool at her feet. Bella looked up at me, wearing only her heels, black lace thong and matching strapless bra.

"Beautiful," I murmured, lifting her in my arms.

I set her on the bench seat, where she and Alice had been sitting early, and dropped down to my knees in front of her. Carefully, I slipped off her heels, keeping my eyes locked on hers. She watched me with wide eyes, yearning for my tongue. Almost as much as I yearned to touch her, to feel her, to taste her. Edward dropped onto the seat next to us, shirt unbuttoned and pants down around his ankles. Bella and I shifted our eyes over, seeing the bulge in his black boxers. Alice knelt in front of him, sliding her hands up his leg and brushing over his erection.

"Ali," hissed Edward, thrusting his hips toward her.

A wicked smile spread across our wife's face, and she hooked her fingers into his boxers, motioning for Edward to lift. He did as requested and she slid his boxers off, dropping them onto the deck next to her and freeing his perfect dick. My mouth watered,wanting to taste him. His eyes met mine and he winked, before looking back at Bella. Turning my gaze back to her, I saw her with her hands on her breasts, pulling at her nipples.

Smirking, I slide my hands up and gripped her thong in between my fingers. Bella's eyes traveled down to my hands just as I pulled, ripping them at the sides. A low, gritty moan escaped her lips and she spread her legs, allowing me to remove the thong completely.

"Please," she begged.

"What?" I asked. "What do you want?"

"Please," she whimpered, begging again. "Taste me."

Inhaling deeply, I leaned forward and kissing the inside of her thigh. Edward moaned, muttering under his breath. Even though I didn't look over there, I knew the sounds he made and only Alice's mouth wrapped around him, sucking him into her throat, made him moan like that. Hooking my arms under Bella's thighs, I pulled her so that she sat on the edge of her seat, spread open and ready for me. Looking back up at her, I pulled her legs over my shoulders and licked her slowly.

"Oh, sweet holy fuck," she gasped, heading falling back.

"Watch me," I ordered.

Bella's head snapped back up, locking her eyes onto mine. I ran my tongue along her once again, lapping up as much of her as I could. Bella always tasted so good, sweet and tangy. Panting heavily, Bella brought her hand down onto the back of my head, grinding her hips against my mouth. Pulling my lips off of her, I stood up.

"Stand," I requested before she could complain.

Biting on her bottom lip, she did as I asked, standing up. I reached over and pulled her bra off, dropping onto the deck. Undoing my pants, slipping both those and my boxers off, I laid down on the bench, reaching out of her. A sexy smile spread across her face as she knelt over my face, lowering her self down onto me.

Gripping her thighs in my hands again, I buried my face in her. A moment later, I felt her lean over, taking my hard cock into her mouth. Warm, wet, amazing. Moaning into her, I fucked her with my tongue, feeling her juices travel down my chin and onto my shoulders. Bella placed her hands on my thighs, relaxing her throat and taking me deeper into her throat. It took all my control not to thrust up, but I didn't want to hurt her. I needed to show her that I loved her, wanted her, needed her. That we all did.

"Oh, fuck, Alice," groaned Edward. "You're mouth...so fucking good, Baby. So fucking good."

Hearing Edward cursing, groaning about Alice's mouth, caused my cock to twitch, and Bella to giggle around me. Which, of course, only caused my cock to twitch again. Bella withered on me, grinding her hips down. She was close, I could tell, and I wanted her to come for me. Adjusting my chin, I rubbed against her clit while slipping two fingers into her, curving them up and hitting her spot. Bella cried out around my cock, walls clenching down onto me and pulling my fingers into her even more. I lapped up as much as I could but pulled her off my cock, needing to be inside of someone.

She nearly collapsed onto the deck, a content sensual smile resting on her face. Alice was on me before I could blink, licking at the juices that were on my cheeks and chin. She straightened up, sliding down onto me, taking my cock into her body. Alice hadn't put on any panties under her little red dress.

"You fucking minx," I growled, gripping her hips and slamming myself up into her. Alice's head fell backwards, a loud cry leaving her mouth.

"More," she cried. "More, Jas!"

Sitting up, I wrapped Alice's legs around my waist and moved so that she was laid out under me. Gripping the front of her dress, I ripped it down, letting her breasts out. I took her nipple between my lips, while I pounded into her, taking her deeper and harder than I had in so long. Alice grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling and tugging, causing the most delicious pleasurable pain to soar through me. Looking up at my wife, I saw the smirk playing on her lips.

"You like this, don't you, Baby?" I asked, releasing her nipple. Gripping her hips tighter, I lifted the lower half of her body off of the bench and slammed my hips flush with her pelvis, stilling myself inside of her.

"Yes," she moaned, arching her back and shifting on me. It took all my control not to come right then and there. "Don't stop," she wailed.

"What do you want?" I asked, rotating my hips but not pulling back. "Hmm, Baby, what do you want?"

"Fuck me, Jas! Take me hard and fast, slow and tortuous, I don't give a fuck. Just take me!"

Pulling back so that only the tip of my cock was in her, I tightened my grip on Alice's hips and slammed back into her, filling her fully. She opened her mouth and silently screamed, nearly tearing my hair out. The sensation that spread through me from the pain in my head and the pleasure in my dick only spurred me on, and I began thrusting into her with wild abandonment, not caring about how rough I was being. Alice wanted me to fuck her, and I would do as she demanded.

So I did, pounding into harder and faster with each thrust of my hips, filling her deeper, hitting different spots each time I took my wife's pussy. The sound of our skin slapping against each others and our heavy breathing filled the air. My cock swelled, and my balls burned as I felt my orgasm building. I needed Alice to come for me. Sliding my hand between us, I rubbed at her swollen clit, letting my own fingers graze my cock as I slammed into her.

"JAS!" screamed Alice, clenching around my cock as she came.

I couldn't hold back the roaring growl that bubbled to my lips as she milked me. "Holy fuck, Alice," I panted, collapsing on top of her.

"Yeah."

Shifting off of her, I laid down behind her, slipping my arm around Alice. We looked over and saw Edward and Bella, making love slowly. She had her legs wrapped around his waist, head buried into the side of his neck as they moved slowly together. Edward's arms wrapped tightly around her; one resting on the top of her back, hand laying over her shoulder, and the other hand gripping Bella's ass, slowly shifting her on him.

Lowering my lips down to Alice's ear, I smiled and whispered, "Watch them."

"He's loving her," she murmured, bringing her hand up to my face.

"He is," I agreed. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Jas."

Moments later, Bella and Edward came together, both crying out the others names. Bella's body shook as she cried, feeling overwhelmed and out of control. But at least for this one night, we could just be us, and we would figure out how to deal with everything else later.

**Thank you for all the reviews:)**


	21. Chapter 21

**APOV**

"Ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down!"

Smiling to myself, I watched as Bella, Mackenzie, and Whitley all fell onto the grass, giggling and squealing. Standing back up, they joined hands, making a circle and started singing all over again. It's been a month since we moved in with Jared and Embry. A month since Bella had stepped into our house and, while I couldn't blame her for being resistant, I missed our home.

The last month had, in a word, sucked. The company lost nearly fifty clients, all due to one email and a series of photos. Not only had we lost so many clients, but more than thirty people quit, using bullshit excuses. We all knew better. They quit because, suddenly, things got hard and they didn't like the attention being affiliated with our company brought them. Bunch of motherfuckers. Bella was still trying to figure out who this person was, and how they managed to hack through our security system on our network to access our email databank. As if my girl wasn't going through enough stress.

"Sounds like she's having fun," commented Jared, coming up behind me and placing his hand on the door frame above my head, and one on my hip. If it was anyone other than Jared or Embry, I would have turned and kneed them in the nuts, but Jared was deeply in love with his man, just as I was in love with my men, and my woman.

"You would think, wouldn't you?" I murmured, mostly to myself.

Bella had a particularly bad night last night. She woke up screaming into my shoulder about someone killing the kids. No matter how many times Edward, Jasper, and I reassured her that they were ok, she just couldn't seem to believe us. It took us checking on them, proving that they were ok, to get her to calm down enough to at least stop crying. But after that, she refused to try to go back to sleep at all. So, we stayed up, holding her, loving her.

"You know how much we love you, all of you, don't you?" asked Jared, leaning his head down onto mine.

"ASHES, ASHES, WE ALL FALL DOWN!" screamed Bella, and the girls, falling to the ground again and laughing.

"I do." And I did know. "But we've worn out our welcome, haven't we?" I asked, looking up at him.

"It's not that," he sighed, shaking his head.

"It is," I smiled. "I know."

"She's gotta face this, and she can't do it here," he said, pleading with me to understand. And, again, I did.

"We'll talk to her," I murmured, dredging that conversation already, "And be out of here tonight."

"We're not giving you a deadline," he cringed.

"No, but if we are going to do this, then we have to just do it," I sighed, placing my hand on his chest. "You and Embry have been great, Jared, but we need to work on this together."

Leaving him standing in the doorway, I headed back into the house to talk to Edward and Jasper. I found them in the living room, sitting on the floor with the boys. Edison was standing in front of Jasper, holding onto his hands and babbling a mile a minute. Jackson scrunched up his forehead, like he was confused about what Edison was telling him. I sat down on the floor between Jasper and Edward.

"We need to talk," I started. Sharing a look, they both sighed and nodded their heads.

"Jared talked to you, too?" asked Jasper.

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Yes."

"He's right, you know," muttered Edward. "She's hiding and we can't keep letting her."

"But how do we convince her that it's ok to go home?" I asked. "She's barely holding on here, how can we expect her to handle going back there?"

"I don't know." Jasper shrugged his shoulders, letting go of Edison's hand and letting him plop back down on his butt.

"You don't know what?" asked Bella.

The three of us turned back, finding her standing there with Mackenzie and Whitley in front of her. She must have seen something on our faces because her smile dropped and she stepped backwards. However, Jared and Embry were behind her, stopping her from running. Turning, she looked up at them.

"No," she whispered.

"Sit down with them and talk," urged Embry, bringing his hand up to her face, wiping away a tear. Whitley and Mackenzie looked terrified. Bella had been doing such a good job hiding all of this from them, but when she cried, they noticed.

"Mommy," whimpered Whitley, lips trembling. Bella turned and knelt down in front of them, bringing her hand up to their faces.

"Go with Jared and Embry, so I can talk to Mommy and Daddies."

Tears stung my eyes as I watched my daughters nod their heads. Jared took their hands and led them back out into the backward with Clay. Embry came over and picked up the boys, balancing one on each hip. Without saying anything, he walked past Bella, leaving the four of us there. She turned and looked at us, tears already streaming down her face. My heart broke.

Bella was my rock, my heart, my soul. The last time I saw her so broken, really broken like this, was after Jacob beat her, nearly killing her. It took months for her to stop having nightmares, even after he died. I begged her to tell our families, let them in and let them her, help us, but she worried that they would think she did something to deserve it. Maybe they would have. Our parents weren't the same people they are now.

"We have to leave, don't we?" cried Bella, wrapping her arms around her body. She stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room.

"It's time," I said, nodding my head. Bella let out a sob and I couldn't hold back my tears as I stood up. Walking over, I grabbed her hands, pulling her over to where Edward and Jasper sat. Nearly falling into a heap in the floor, Bella and I sat letting our husbands hold us.

"I'm scared to go back in there," murmured Bella, laying her head on Edward's chest. "They'll see me."

"They won't," promised Edward. "We've made sure that every fucking inch of the house is clear. Emmett and Garrett installed a new security system in the house. We've changes all the locks. There is no way that this fucker will be able to get into the house."

"And if he does?" asked Bella, looking at up him through her tears.

"He won't," insisted Jasper.

"AND IF HE DOES?" snapped Bella.

"Then I will fucking kill him!" yelled Jasper. Bella flinched into Edward's arms and Jasper took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, but, Beautiful, I will not let this motherfucker anywhere near you, Ali, or our babies." Jasper paused, blinking back the tears that filled his eyes. I reached up, wiping them away and trying to comfort him. "I will give my life to protect you. You know that I love you all more than anything."

Bella nodded, chin wobbling. "I know, Jas," she wept. "But I can't lose you either."

"Baby, you won't," I assured her, bringing her hand up to my lips. "Remember what I told you the night of the party."

"That you would always take care of me," she cried.

"And?" I asked.

"That I was your girl," she whispered. "Ali."

"We have to fight through this, too. I didn't leave you then, and I will not leave you now."

"None of us are leaving you, but the kids, they need to go home," said Edward, kissing the top of her head. "Baby, they need to be at home."

Turning and burying her head into Edward's chest, Bella agreed to let us go back home. As hard as this was going to be for her, we all knew it was time. Once she managed to calm down, we went upstairs and started packing some of our stuff up. We had brought over a lot over the last month and a half, there was no way we would be able to get everything at one time. However, we managed to get what was important to us.

Jared and Embry sat on a couple of lawn chairs, Edison and Jackson perched on their laps while the girls and Clay played on the trampoline. Looked back as we came out, they smiled. Standing up, they walked over and handed me and Bella the boys.

"Everything ok?" Jared asked slowly.

"Um, hopefully," frowned Bella, leaning down and kissing Edison's head. He giggled, ducking his head into her chest. At almost a year old, he was the cuddliest little boy. "We're going to head back...to the house," she explained, nodding her head. "Guess it's time and all."

"We're not trying to kick you out, you know that, right?" Embry questioned, pulling Bella into his arms. She pulled on her bottom lip as she nodded her head. "You can't let this person win and if you don't go back, then that's what you are doing."

"I know," muttered Bella, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "You're still a pain in my butt."

"I always will be," laughed Embry.

Gathering the girls, and hugging Jared and Clay goodbye, we headed out to the van and loaded up to head back home. Bella and I sat in the backseat with the boys, hands blended as one while Jasper and Edward sat in the front, holding hands as well. The boys babbled back and forth while the girls whispered and giggled. I wanted to keep us wrapped in this small protective bubble for as long as I could.

Twenty minutes later, we pulled back up in front of the house. Physically, it looked the same, but emotionally if felt off, and different. As we unloaded out of the van, I slipped my hand into Bella's, trying to give her as much strength as I could. Her hand shook in mine, nails digging into the back of mine. Edward and Jasper, each with one of our boys in their arms, led the way up to the front door with the girls following closely.

Bella and I slowly walked behind them, taking our time. One step, then another, then another. Bella hesitated at the door, willing herself to take the step over the threshold Turning and facing her, I stepped over the line and pulled on her hand. Bella's eyes fluttered to a close as she lifted her foot and stepped into the house for the first time in almost six weeks.

Keeping her hand wrapped tightly around mine, she brought her other arm up, wrapping it around her body protectively. I kicked the door shut and looked back at Edward and Jasper, who were watching with cautious smiles. Taking a shallow breath, Bella looked around, scrutinizing everything.

"Are you sure that they found all of them?" she barely whispered.

"Yes," replied Edward. "Em and Gar swept the place five times in the last month."

Bella nodded her head, taking a hesitant step forward. "They checked in the kids rooms, too?"

"Yes," repeated Edward. Jasper slipped his arm around our husband's waist.

"Beautiful, we've checked every room in the house."

Again, Bella nodded her head, but this time she didn't say anything. She let go of my hand, walking into the living room, leaving the three of us standing in the entry room of the house. Edward muttered under his breath about killing this mother fucker as he followed her. Jasper sighed, coming over and kissing me.

"I'm with him, you know. About killing them, I mean."

"Me too." And I was. This motherfucker had broken her, torn her from the only safe place that we had to just be us, and, as I looked back around our house, I realized that this place wasn't home anymore. I didn't know where home was.

**BPOV**

Bringing my hand up, I rubbed the back of my neck, shifting uneasily in my office chair. My eyes ached from staring at the computer screen all day, and through most of the night. Stifling a yawn, I reached over and picked up my coffee cup, sipping the black liquid slowly. Shifting in my seat again, I turned back to the screen of code.

I was sitting in my office, trying to figure out who got into our system and how they managed to break through the security program that I had set up for us when I took over six years ago. Not to brag, but the system was as top of the line as you could go. I just couldn't find how they got in and it was pissing me off.

"Bella, you're going to go blind staring at the thing," said Carlisle.

I smiled, looking over the screen at him. He was sitting on the couch in my office, working on some budget reports that were due next week. I tried to tell him I would handle them, but he told me to back the fuck off and let him earn his keep. Reluctantly, I let him. He should be home with William, Catherine, and Esme, not stuck in the office with me.

Normally, Edward or Jasper would be the ones staying late with me, but they couldn't tonight. Alice had a meeting across town with a new studio who was looking for someone to design their new office complex, and we needed the business. Jasper insisted on going with her, and I was glad. If anything happened to her, I just couldn't think about how I would handle it.

Because they had to be gone for the evening, Edward needed to be at home with the kids. Embry and Jared both had plans. Charlie had a book signing on his new book, Peter was doing an interview for an article he wrote for Time Magazine. Esme was working, Catherine had court in the morning and was trying to prepare. Charlotte had a huge photo shoot and Renee was helping her. William was helping Emmett and Garrett with a project for Rose and Kate, who had two children of their own to handle. That left Carlisle.

"Maybe," I smiled, shrugging my shoulders.

Carlisle didn't push me anymore. He knew that this was something I needed to do, even if I wasn't getting anywhere. The last week and a half had been the hardest of my life, even harder than when I had no clue who I was. Being back in our house, knowing that this person had gotten in there once and could get in there again if they wanted had me on edge. Sleep was non-existent, and all I could do to keep from freaking out was to spend every night in between the kids rooms, making sure they were ok. Irrational, yes, but I didn't know how to handle this.

Even Jane was at a loss for how to help me, help us. The kids knew something was wrong, they could feel it, and I hated that I was scaring them but they were my world. Until we knew who was after me, and why, I couldn't relax.

"Bella, it's late, we need to head home," sighed Carlisle, tossing his pen onto the table in front of him. I shifted my eyes up to his, he looked exhausted.

"Ok," I agreed.

Closing down my computer, and locking my office, I followed Carlisle down to the elevator. We rode in silence and climbed into his car. He started it and looked back over at me. "You hungry?"

"Not really."

He nodded his head, and shifted into reverse. Before he could back up, though, a large, black SUV slammed into the back of his car, shoving up into the wall in front of us. I flew forward, slamming my head against the front windshield. Falling back in my seat, my eyesight became blurry and out of focused.

"No, let her go," cried Carlisle.

I felt two arms hook under mine and start dragging my limp body out of the car. Feeling myself being tossed into the back of the SUV, I rolled onto my side as the darkness came over me completely.

**Thank you for all the reviews. This chapter was a real bitch. Add that in with my over all writing block on all of my stories, other than my book, and I'll admit to having dropped the ball. I apologize, but I have to write what I feel and right now, this wasn't it. However, I am not giving up on any of my fics. **


	22. Chapter 22

APOV

I stood in front of our large picture window, watching at the sun slowly rose in the sky and all I could think about was my Bella out there, somewhere. Where ever she was, Carlisle was with her, or at least we were hoping he was. At the sound of the girls, trotting their way down the stairs, I turned, unsure of what to say to them.

They'd been asleep when the police showed up, telling us Bella and Carlisle were missing. The moment Jasper and I got home from my meeting, we knew something was terribly wrong. Edward sat on the couch, drumming the phone against the palm of his hand. When he looked at me, my heart dropped from my chest. Bella hadn't made it home yet, and neither had Carlisle. After confirming with Esme, William, and Catherine, we called the office for the twentieth time, but there was no answer. Edward and Jasper were fixing to go look for them when the police showed up, explaining that Carlisle's car had been struck by another vehicle, but both of them were gone. They went on to explain how our security cameras caught everything on tape, but they wouldn't tell us what it held. Just that two people hit them, carried both of them off. Nothing else, but false promises that they'd do everything they could to find my wife.

Edward and Jasper stood on either side of me, each with an arm around me, holding onto me as much as they were to each other. Behind us sat William, Catherine, and Esme, who had their arms wrapped around each other, trying to keep as calm as could be. How you do that, I didn't know, because I was on the verge of losing it. Smiling the girls rushed over, leaping into William and Catherine's laps. They, along with Esme, started crying even harder.

"What's wrong?" worried Whitley, bringing her little hand up to Catherine's face.  
She opened her mouth several times to speak, but couldn't seem to get a single word out. Frantically, the girls looked from them, to Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte, who were huddled together, trying not to lose it, over to Emmett, Rose, Kate, and Garrett, who sat with Jonah and Jocelyn in their laps, arms wrapped tightly around each other, and finally over to me, Edward, and Jasper.

"Daddy," whimpered Mackenzie, looking between her two fathers. "Where's Mommy?"

Jasper placed his hand on the window, choking back the sob that slipped to the tip of his tongue. Edward turned back to the girls, shaking his head as his tears fell freely, "I don't know, sweetie." Pausing for a moment, his lips trembled. "She's missing, along with Papa."

"Is she coming home soon?" cried Whitley, climbing off my mother's lap, running into my waiting arms.

"We hope so," I sobbed, burying my face in her auburn hair. Mackenzie came over, wrapping her arms around my legs, letting her tears seep into the soft cotton of my pajama pants. Turning back to the window, I prayed that we would find Bella and Carlisle soon.

BPOV

My body ached, head pounding like a drum, and my mouth tasted like ass. I tried to lift my arms, but I couldn't, they were tied down. Snapping my eyes open, I found myself tied to a chair in the middle of a dark, barely lit room. Based on the musky smell of mildew, I knew I was in a basement. There weren't any windows, just a small light hanging from the ceiling, glowing a dull orange. Panicking, I pulled against the ropes holding my wrists to the metal office chair.

"You won't get free," came a gravely voice from my left. Looking over, I saw Carlisle leaning against the wall, dried blood on his forehead, and covering his shirt. There were scratch marks on his face, and neck. His knees were pulled up in front of him, arms tucked in between his body. "I tried to free you, but..." He trailed off with a shake of his head.

"Where are we?" I winced, my throat burned.

He shrugged. "They blindfolded me. I don't know where we are, or who they were. It all happened so fast."

"Are you okay?" I struggled to keep myself from crying, but I needed to be strong.

Again, he shrugged his shoulders. "My head hurts. How about you?"

"My head hurts, too," I murmured, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

Carlisle shifted onto his hands and knees, crawling across the floor to where I sat. Taking my hand in his, he laid his forehead on my knee, body shaking as we cried together. For whatever reason, he and I had been taken to hell.

Time slowed down, Carlisle and I sat waiting for someone to come save us, but nobody came. He never let go of my hand, leaving his head on my lap. For whatever reason, he had been pulled into this hell with me. Although, the selfish part of me felt relieved that at least I wasn't alone. I didn't know how, when, or if we'd ever see the light of day again, and all I could think about was how at least I wouldn't die alone.

With no way to tell time, I wondered how long we had been in here. Closing my eyes, I blinked back the tears wanting to fall again. "Do you think they've even noticed we're gone?" I wondered. He looked up at me, sorrow swimming in his eyes.

"I hope so," he muttered, shifting in his seat. The concrete floor couldn't have been comfortable. Not that my metal chair felt any better. "Who even knows how long we've been here? Wherever we are."

I didn't know how to respond. All I wanted was to be back home, with my family. My babies needed me, I needed them. Edward, Jasper, and Alice, my heart ached for them, wanting to feel their arms holding me, soothing me. To feel their bodies as we made love. My lips trembled as I let my tears fall freely. Would I ever see them again?

"You can't think like that," Carlisle spoke solemnly. I shifted my eyes down to his, seeing the same lost, angry look in his eyes. "I want my lovers, too, Bella, but you can't give up."

"What if they never find us?" The thought alone hurt, causing my heart to ache. "My babies, Carlisle."

"They'll find us," he tried, but I could hear the doubt in his voice, too. "They have to."

Neither of us said anything else, falling into an uneasy silence. The last few months had been nothing but stressful for all of us. All thanks to whoever held us in this basement. My relationship with everyone had suffered because I had broken down, dreading something just like this happening. They all promised that I'd never get hurt, yet, here I was, in my own personal hell with Carlisle. So much for protecting me from the boogie man.

I flinched when I heard the door to the basement open, creaking loudly against it's hinges. Carlisle and I shared a look before we turned to the wooden stairs, waiting for our captor to descend. The shadows kept their face hidden as they stepped off the bottom stair, moving around the edges of the room. We watched, waiting for them to show us who they were, tell us why they brought us here.

Stepping out of the shadows, both Carlisle and I gasped, clutching at each other's hands. "You?" I muttered, glaring at the woman standing in front of us. "It was you?"

"I'm not surprised you didn't figure it out," scoffed Kayla, the waitress from the diner close to the company. Tall, heavy set woman, with dyed red hair, and small, glassy grey eyes, she smirked, one arm tucked behind her back. "You always were such a snobby little bitch."

"Why are you doing this?" demanded Carlisle, shifting up in front of me. She snapped her eyes over to him, softening.

"For you," she breathed. "Everything's for you. So we could finally be together."

"Together?" he choked. "We'll never be together. I'm married."

Her eyes hardened. "Not for long."

Carlisle paled, a look of pure horror on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. I'm taking care of all of it," she smiled, a creepy smile. Shifting her eyes over to me, "Starting with this one."

"Don't hurt her," growled Carlisle, scrambling to his feet. Kayla sighed, pulling her arm from around her back, pointing a gun at his chest. He stumbled back, eyes trained on the weapon.

"It's always been about her, hasn't it?" she sneered, pulling back the hammer. She turned, pressing the gun to the side of my head. "I should just kill her now."

A strangled sob escaped my lips. "Please, don't," pleaded Carlisle, putting his hands up.

An eerie smile slipped up on Kayla's face. "Move to the bed."

"What?" he gasped, eyes shifting over to the filthy mattress. "No!"

Eyes hardening again, she pressed the gun further onto my head. "OKAY!" He all but yelled.

Shooting me one more look, he moved over to the bed, standing next to to it. "Strip," ordered Kayla. He started protesting, but looked down at me.

I shifted my eyes away while he began removing his clothes, and climbed into the bed. Bile rose in my throat, knowing that nothing good would to come out of this. Kayla walked over to the bed, keeping the gun pointed at him, and began restraining his legs and arms to the bed. With both of us restrained, she set the gun down, moving back over to me, pulling my chair across the room so that all I could see the bed. Carlisle laid there, silently let his tears fall from his eyes. I looked anywhere but at him, not wanting to violate him anymore than this crazy bitch already had.

Climbing on to the bed next to him, she ran her hands over his chest. He choked back a sob. So did I. He was my father in every sense of the way. "Look at us," hissed Kayla.

I refused until a pair of strong hands grabbed the side of my face, forcing me to look over at them. Leaning down, the person gripping my face, whispered, "Aren't they hot together?"

I clamped my lips together before the bile could fall from my lips. "Demetri?" I cried. Fisting my hair in his hands, he moved so that he was kneeling beside me. Forcing my head in his direction, he brought his other hand up, caressing my cheek. "I trusted you."

"I know," he sighed. "You were stupid."

He dropped his hand down to my leg, at the edge of the dark skirt I was wearing. Keeping his eyes locked with mine, he slid his hand under my skirt, moving up my leg. I whimpered, but he didn't care. Digging his fingers into my tender flesh, he forced his hand between my legs.

"STOP!" I screamed, fighting against my binds. He laughed, looking over his shoulder at Kayla and Carlisle.

"She's feisty," he snickered, rubbing outside of my panties. Turning up to me, he had a wild look in his eyes. "I like feisty."

"That's why I didn't kill her, baby. I knew you'd like her. She's quite the whore, too. Fucks more than you do," laughed Kayla, moving so she straddled Carlisle. Looking back at him, she pulled off her shirt, tossing it onto the floor. On her back, she had a tattoo of Carlisle, his named stenciled in underneath it. She was certifiably crazy. "Why don't you take her to the other room, baby? Give us some privacy."

"Sure thing, honey," smirked Demetri, turning back to me.

I screamed again as he pulled his hand out from between my legs, reaching around to undo the ropes holding my hands down onto the chair. He reached up, backhanding me hard.  
"DON'T TOUCH HER!" raged Carlisle, pulling at his restraints.

Kayla reared back, bringing her hand across his face, spinning his head to the side. Our eyes met, both letting our tears fall freely, and knowing that right this moment, everything was going to change. Demetri undid the rest of my restraints, ignoring my feeble attempts to fight him off of me. He outweighed me by nearly two hundred pounds, and my fists did nothing to phase him. Tossing me over his shoulders like I was a rag doll, he carried me up the stairs, leaving Carlisle alone with Kayla. Bile once again rose in my throat.

He carried me up the stairs, and through the house. I tried to memorize as many details as I could, but the house was almost as dark as the basement had been. It smelled of rot and decay, mildew and garbage. Carrying me up another set of stairs, he took me into a room, throwing me down on the bed. I scrambled up to the headboard, wrapping my body up as tightly as I could. He slammed the door shut behind him, flicking the deadbolt, before turning back to me.

"We can be alone now." Moving to the end of the bed, Demetri pulled off his t-shirt, dropping it on the floor. He had a large tattoo on his chest, right over his heart. A cross with a snake wrapped around it, and an apple in it's mouth. "Do you like it?" he wondered, drawing my attention up to his eyes.

"No," I muttered. "I hate tattoos."

"I know you're scared," he chuckled, climbing on the bed. I pushed myself up against the headboard. "You don't have to be scared of me, Bella. I love you."

Gasping, I screeched, "Love? You don't love me. You're a vile disgusting piece of shit!"

Reacting faster than I thought possible, he grabbed my by my hair, slamming my head back onto the metal bed frame. Bringing his other hand up to my throat, he squeezed, cutting off my air supply. My hand flew up to his, clawing at his skin, but he didn't loosen his grip at all. Dragging me down, he forced me on my back, releasing my hair, and ripping my blouse open. Reaching in the back pocked of his pants, he pulled out a knife, opening it. My eyes flew open as he brought it down, cutting through the center of my bra, leaving me on display for him.

Pocketing his knife, he reached up, grabbing my breast in his hand. I cried out, but no sound could come from my throat. Shifting his eyes from my breasts up to my face, he loosened his grip. "You shouldn't make me so angry, Bella. I only want to love you." I couldn't speak, all I could do was cry. "Shh, angel, it's okay," he soothed, releasing my throat altogether. "I'll show you how much I love you."

I turned my head away, letting my tears fall silently as he brought his lips down onto my skin. Blocking out as much as I could, I let my mind go blank, and ignored the assault to my body. I forced my mind to go to my children, their smiled and laughs. The sparkles in their eyes, and the small ways they showed each other that they loved each other. My beautiful girls whispering secrets to each other, my big boys jabbering to one another. My lovers and how they knew how to calm me down, to make me smile when all felt lost. The way they could read me without me having to say a word, and loved me no matter how much I fought against them.

My tears didn't fall because of the things Demetri did to my body. They fell because of the things he did to my heart and soul. Each time he touched me, letting his hands and lips move over my body, he tore a piece me, throwing it away like trash. My tears were for each part of me that he stole from my family.

When he'd gotten what he wanted, Demetri threw me over his shoulder, carrying me back downstairs to hell. The door creaked open, he stomped his way down. Carlisle still laid on the bed, but his arms and legs had been freed. He rolled onto his side, clothes back on and his head tucked into his arms. Demetri threw me on the bed next to him, leaving us alone. Rolling onto my side, I turned my back on Carlisle, trying to ignore the ache radiating through my body.

"Did he?" came his voice, low and fearful.

Closing my eyes, I cried, "Yes. Her?"

Reaching over, he took my hand, leaving our backs together. "Yes," he admitted. "I'm going to kill them both."

"Promise," I wept.

"Yes," he muttered. "I don't know how, or when, but I will kill them both."

Even though I didn't know how he would do it, I believed him. Either he would kill them, or we'd die trying. Right now, it didn't really matter which way it happened.

**So...yeah. Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate you all sticking with me. Have faith in me and everything I'm about to do. **


	23. Chapter 23

EPOV

Two days. Two long, fucking days, and we still had no word on where Bella or my father were. The police kept telling us that they were looking, but I didn't believe them. They interviewed James Altman, declaring that he had nothing to do with any of this, but, again, I didn't believe them. They claimed he had an airtight alibi and none of the evidence pointed to him. We didn't have any evidence. All we had was a security tape that showed two people dragging Bella and Carlisle out of my father's car and loading them into the back of a black suburban. Not exactly much to go on.

They talked to Mrs. White, Phil Dwyer, and every single employee we had at the company, including Seth and Tanya, since they had just moved. Of course, we knew neither Seth nor Tanya had anything to do with their disappearances. They loved Bella and Carlisle, they wouldn't do anything to hurt them. In fact, they, Ben, and Angela, offered to fly up and help us with the search, but Alice insisted that they stay, saying Bella would be pissed at them for coming back because of her. Of course, she was right, but it still pissed me the fuck off. Right now, everything pissed me off. I wanted Bella.

"Edward," called Jasper. I turned from the window I was keeping vigilance at and looked back at him, "The police are here again."

I nodded, following him downstairs to the living room, where the rest of our family and friends sat. My mother resting between William and Catherine, all three of them struggling to hold on to the same thin shred of hope that Jasper, Alice, and I were. We tried not to think about what they were going through, but our imaginations got the better of us.

Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte stood behind the couch, tucked in each other's arms, not caring about the disgusted looks coming from the two detectives sitting across from them. Let them make a big deal about our love, we didn't give a fuck right now. All we cared about was getting Bella and Carlisle back. They'd made their opinions on our relationship clear when they accused me or Jasper of taking them. Bastards.

Emmett, Rose, Garrett, and Kate sat on the chairs they'd pulled in from the dining room. Whitley and Mackenzie snuggled tightly in Rose's arms, while Emmett held my sons. Jonah and Jocelyn sat with Garrett and Kate, neither of them making a sound. I could hear Mike and Tyler in the kitchen with Embry and Jared. They'd been here non-stop, trying to do what they could to help. Nothing they did helped, but we appreciated the effort. The only help we needed was whatever led us to finding my wife and father.

I moved over and sat on the couch with to Alice and Jasper, slipping my arm around her. She sobbed, turning into my chest. I held her, while trying to hold myself together. Jasper caught my eye, frowning. Reaching over, I grabbed his hand, agreeing with every unspoken emotion he felt.

Before the detectives could speak, Mike and Tyler came in and grabbed the kids, taking them into the kitchen. We appreciated it, they didn't need to hear whatever we were about to. They already knew too much. The girls had refused to sleep in their room, wanting to stay as close to me, Alice, and Jasper as they could. We didn't mind, we wanted them close, too. Nightmares tortured them both, causing them to scream in their sleep. Damn the bastard who did this to us. They needed their mommy.

"What can you tell us about Demetri Romanov?" Detective Jones questioned, looking over at me and Jasper.

"We hired him to watch over our daughters at school," Jasper answered him before I could even process the question. "Why?"

"We believe he's one of the two people responsible for their disappearance." Clenching my eyes shut, I tried to stop my tears. We'd lead him right to her. "How'd you find him?"

"Through Cartwright Security, they replaced the cameras down at Cullen Architecture. He's the person we dealt with, and insisted that he would come on to help us keep our kids safe," I deadpanned. "Why do you think he has anything to with..." I trailed off, fighting the urge to scream.

"Mr. Romanov was fired from the Cartwright Security six months ago for tampering with their system and gaining access to their mainframe. At the time, they had no clue whose account he was after, but we believe he stole information on your companies in order to get closer to Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh my god," wept Alice, clenching my shirt in her hand.

I ran my hand over my face, trying to keep the limited amount of control I had right now. "Where is he now?"

"We don't know," replied Detective Davis. "His landlord saw him leave the night Mrs. Cullen, and Mr. Cullen were taken, but he never came back. We have a unit sitting on the place, but he's appears to have left. He has a sister, but we can't locate her, either."

"Taking my husband with them," muttered Esme, lifting her head up, "and my daughter-in-law. I suggest you get off your asses, and find them."

"We're trying..."

"Try harder," snarled Renee. "You could be out looking right now, but you're sitting on your ass."

"It's not like we aren't trying. We're doing everything we can."

Shaking my head, I stood up, bringing Alice and Jasper up with me. "I'm tired of hearing excuses. Just find them."

The three of us headed upstairs to our bedroom, shutting the door behind us. Laying down on our bed, I rolled over, burying my face in Bella's pillow, inhaling her scent. My body shook, my tears fell, but I didn't care. Alice and Jasper climbed on next to me, wrapping their arms around me. Together, the three of us cried for the millionth time over the last two days. We'd die without Bella.

BPOV

"How long do you think we've been in here?" I looked over at Carlisle, sitting next to me on the bed, knees pulled up in front of him. I mirrored his position, leaning against the filthy cement wall behind us.

"Too long," he muttered, looking at me. "Feels like forever."

"Yeah," I agreed, laying my head on my knees. "Do you think they're okay?"

Taking a deep breath, he looked away. "I hope so, but who knows. These bastards are clearly insane."

"No shit," I grumbled.

Neither Carlisle nor I offered any details about what Kayla and Demetri had done to us when they separated us. We didn't need to, we both knew the other had been treated the same. We did what we could to comfort the other, small gestures and reassuring words, but never admitted to the violation we'd both been subject to. Saying the words would make it real, and right now, we could keep the pain down by pretending that it never happened.

"We were going to take the kids on a trip for Christmas," I sighed. He looked over at me. "With everything, we wanted to get away, and thought that maybe taking a trip would help."

"Where were you planning on going?" he wondered.

"Maybe Disney," I murmured, eyes filling up with tears. "Whitley and Mackenzie would love it, I think."

"They would." He nodded, bringing his hand up, rubbing his eyes. "We took Edward and Kate when they were about the same age. Kate..." he trailed off, voice cracking. "She loved it." I reached over, taking his hand, soothing him while he cried. "Edward claimed to hate it, but I think he really loved it."

"He did," I whispered, scooting over and laying my head on his shoulder. "He'd never admit it, but he loves mickey mouse."

"I want to go home," cried Carlisle, turning and burying his face in my hair. "I need Esme, William, and Catherine, Bella. It hurts to much."

I moved him so he was laying his head in my lap, keeping my arms wrapped around him. Nothing I said would make him feel better, I felt the same way. All I wanted was to be back home with Edward, Alice, and Jasper, to hold my babies in my arms, and never let any of them go. But we weren't able to be, we were stuck in hell until they got tired of us and killed us, or someone found us. Hoping for the last, we leaned toward the former happening.

It wasn't until we heard the now familiar click that came when the door at the top of the stairs was unlocked, that we both tensed up, shifting our bodies so that we were protecting ourselves and each other. Nothing good ever came when the door opened. Only more pain, more anger, more hurt. More hell.

"Hope you're hungry," sang Kayla, voice dripping with sweetness. She wore her mask well, hiding the heinous wrench she really was. "I made your favorite, Sweetie."

Carlisle flinched against me, the term of endearment he once used for me, no longer held the same feeling as it once did. They'd ruined it for the both of us. Kayla fluttered down the stairs, wearing a sheer black negligee, not hiding her nude body underneath. Bile rose in my throat, I reached over, clutching onto Carlisle. Of course, she noticed, eyes narrowing at me, before she set the tray on the card table. He followed her down, wearing nothing but a pair of loose knit shorts. I dug my nails into Carlisle's shoulder.

"Well, why don't you both come join us at the table," suggested Kayla, but we all knew she wasn't asking, she'd ordered us.

Carlisle and I shared a look before we slipped off the bed, letting our feet touch the dirty floor. They'd taken our shoes away, perhaps fearing we'd use them to bash our heads in, and then they couldn't torment us anymore. Walking around the bed, we slid into two of the four chairs, holding our breaths, and waiting for what was about to come. It would be bad, we both knew.

Smiling Kayla slid into the seat next to Carlisle, reaching over and grabbing his hand. He flinched again. I flexed my fingers wanting to reach over and rip her hand off, but she caught my eye, placing her other hand on the table. The hand holding the silver gun she'd been flashing for who knows how long. I kept my hand to myself, shifting my eyes away from hers. Demetri threw his leg over his seat, plopping down and placing both his hands on the table. He didn't need to carry a gun to get our attention. The bruise on my face served as his proof that he'd hurt either one of us.

"This is nice," he smiled, looking over at me. "Isn't this nice, baby?"

I nodded, but couldn't speak. His friendly smile dropped and he clinched his fist. "This ...is...great," I stammered. He smiled, shaking his head.

"I knew you'd like this," he chuckled, looking over at Kayla. "I told you."

"So you did, but like it matters what she likes," she scoffed. "She's a whore."

Faster than I thought possible, Demetri reached across the table, backhanding her. She cried out, dropping to the floor, pulling Carlisle's hand with her. This time, I flinched, turning into my father-in-law.

"You'd do good to keep your mouth shut, Kay," warned Demetri, reaching over and grabbing my shoulder, pulling me into his arms roughly. I flinched again. "She's not anymore of a whore than he is."

"You're right, D, I won't say it again," muttered Kayla, getting back up in her seat.

Even with the dull lighting, I could see the blazing red hand print on her face. She brought Carlisle's hand up to her lips, slopping a wet kiss over his knuckles. He tried to stifle his whimper, but I heard him. Whether they did or not, I couldn't tell. She pulled his hand down, keeping on top of the table, smiling at all of us.

"Let's eat, shall we?" she wondered. "We've got so much to do, and you'll need your strength."

"Yes, let's eat," laughed Demetri, pushing me back into my seat.

Taking the covers off the dishes in front of us, we found two turkey sandwiches that looked just like the ones we'd order from the diner. Both were loaded with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and pickles. There were also two bowls of soup, and two slices of pumpkin pie, along with two bottles of water. Releasing his hand, Kayla picked up one of the sandwiches, holding it up to Carlisle's mouth. Without much choice, he took a bit, chewing it thoroughly before swallowing.

"Good, right?" she pressed, eyes wild. "I made it just like I always do."

"It's good," Carlisle grunted. I knew he didn't mean it.

"Here, baby," offered Demetri, holding up a plastic, white spoon full of the soup. "It's Minestrone, your favorite. We followed your mom's recipe to the letter."

"My mom's?" I choked, trying to blink back my tears.

He smiled, "Yes, I wanted it to be perfect."

My stomach rolled, my lips trembling, I leaned up, sipping the soup into my mouth. It was nothing like Renee's, but the thought of them being that close to her, Charlie, Peter, and Charlotte pushed me to keep eating. I didn't want to think about what they'd do to the rest of our family if we didn't. Carlisle knew they'd stop at nothing to make sure we complied to their wishes.

Finally, the food was gone. Demetri stood up, clearing the tray and taking it back upstairs, while Kayla stroked the inside of Carlisle's leg. I could feel the tension rolling off of him, and nothing I did would help. Demetri came back down stairs, whistling under his breath. The tune one that I knew too well; the days of the week that my girls sung at school. It took all my control to keep my food down. This bastard had been too close to my girls.

Clearing his throat, Demetri looked over at Kayla. She giggled, standing up and picking up the bag that sat under the table. Plopping it down with a bang, she started pulling out the contents, and every fear I had of things getting worse escalated. Whips, handcuffs, and vibrators, had me reaching for Carlisle's hand before I could even think. Her hand flew over the bag, landing on the side of my face, spinning my head to the side, stunned me.

"Don't you fucking touch him, cunt," she hissed. "He's mine."

Sobbing, I turned back to her, "You fucking bitch," I screaming, lunging over the table for her. Before I could get to her, Carlisle was on his feet, pulling me back away from the table, shielding me with his body. She had the gun pointed right at us.

"Move," she ordered, speaking to Carlisle. "I'll take her ass out now."

"Kay-"

"Fuck off, D. She doesn't touch him!" screeched Kayla, ignoring Demetri. He shook his head, moving behind her, placing his hands on hers shoulders.

"Babe, she's mine," he murmured, grazing her neck with his lips. "Now, lower the fucking gun, so we can have some fun."

Glaring at me, she dropped the gun to her side, huffing. Demetri laughed, slipping his tongue into her mouth as he kissed her. Sliding his hands up her arms to the side of her head, he looking past Carlisle at me, and twisted her head, breaking her neck. She barely knew what was happening before the life left her body. Releasing her head, he let her body crumble to the ground, before reaching down and pulling the gun out of her hand.

"She's very possessive over her new toys," he laughed. Based on the way his eyes shifted to Carlisle, I knew what his fate would be if they didn't find us first. Tossing the handcuffs to Carlisle, he gestured with the gun at me, "Let's get her settled before we talk."

Carlisle turned and looked at me, catching my eye as he grabbed my hands, attaching the metal handcuff to one wrist. A tear slid down his face when he attached the other one, binding my hands in front of me. Grabbing his shoulder, Demetri pushed him out of the way, tugging on the metal bindings and dragging me across the room, pulling my hands up over my head toward a large hook that hung from the ceiling. However, before he could attach them, Carlisle flew at us, gripping him around the neck, and pulling him back. I fell with them, falling to the floor. Demetri cursed, releasing my hands, clawing at Carlisle's arm that squeezed his neck.

Catching my eye again, Carlisle yelled, "Run! Get out now!"

"Not without you," I all but screamed, stumbling back against the wall.

Wrestling against Demetri, he snarled, "Get the fuck out of here, Bella. GO! NOW!"

However, before I could move, Demetri lifted his hand with the gun, turning toward the man fighting to save our lives. Without giving it a second thought, I flew off the wall, and into the fray, landing on Demetri's arm, pushing it down. Time slowed down as he screamed, trying to push me off, while fighting against Carlisle, too. With a resounding bang, the gun fired. I screamed, not knowing who'd gotten hit by the bullet.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Yeah, I'm evil, I know this by now. If you're nice and leave me a few words, I'll do whatever I can to get you a new chapter out in a day or so...deal? **


	24. Chapter 24

**BPOV**

Demetri rolled back, falling right on me, and covering me with his body. Screaming, I tried to push him off of me, but he was too heavy. I couldn't budge him at all. I could feel the warmth of his blood, oozing from the exit wound on his back, covering my body and making the food I had barely been able to keep down, come roaring back up. I turned my head, screaming again.

"BELLA!" yelled Carlisle, moving around next to me, but I couldn't see him.

"Carlisle," I cried, pleading with him. "Help me!"

With a loud grunt, he somehow managed to push the larger man off of me, pulling me several feet away. Wrapping his arms around my trembling body, we looked over at Demetri. He laid on his back, eyes wide open, chest covered in crimson blood. Dead. Shifting my eyes up to Carlisle, I noticed he had blood covering his chest and face, his eyes were trained on the dead body in front of us.

"Carlisle," I whispered, placing my bound hands on his chest. He shifted his eyes down at me. "They're dead."

"We have to find the keys," he muttered, closing his eyes. "He had them, I think."

Nodding my head, the two of us scooted across the floor, and went searching for the keys that would take us away from hell. Both our hands shook as we slipped our hands into his pockets, finding them in his left one. Carlisle grabbed my hands, yanking them to him roughly so he could take the metal handcuffs off of me. I didn't cry out, not wanting him to know he'd hurt me. He hurt, too.

Once my hands were freed, we stood up and scrambled over to the stairs, clutching at each other's hand, neither of us ready to be apart from the other. Carlisle's hand shook when he tried to unlock the door. Cursing, he dropped the keys. Instead of bending over to get them, he started screaming, banging on the door.

"STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!" he raged, beating his fists against the steal door. "FUCKING HATE YOU!"

"CARLISLE," I screamed, scrambling a few steps down as his fist came back and hit me.

"Bella," he sobbed, crumbling down on the step. I wrapped my arms around him, picking up the keys, and unlocking the door.

"Come on," I whispered, not caring that my tears fell, or that I'd have another bruise on my face. We were getting out of here, that's all I cared about. I just wanted to go home.

Somehow, I managed to get him to his feet, and through the door leading out of the basement. We searched through the house, looking for a phone to call the police, but we couldn't find one. The front door had several deadbolts on it, all locked by a key. Together, we managed to get them unlocked, and walked out of the house that had been our prison for too long.

My body shook with sobs as we stepped onto the porch, shifting my eyes away from the blinding sun, and looked around for anything that would tell us where we were. The old farmhouse was surrounded by nothing, but rolling pastures.

"Which way?" he wondered, not bothering to look down at me.

Sighing, I looked around, noticing that the sun rested low in sky, a dull orange, and the feeling of twilight hung in the air. I could only assume that it was late in the evening. "I think that's west," I scratched out, throat hurting. Looking toward the east, I shrugged my shoulders. "Guessing, that's the way to go, but I...I don't know."

"Do you think the car's still here?" he laughed, humorlessly.

Turning to him, and unsure what to say, I grabbed his hand, "Let's look."

We didn't find the car. We found two freshly dug graves, instead. Neither of us said anything, we knew that they were meant for us. There was no point in us talking about them. Returning to the front of the house, we took off toward the east, hoping that eventually, we'd find a house or someone willing to help us, but mostly needing to get as far away from the house as we could get. All we had right now was hope that we'd somehow be able to find our way back home.

Neither of us spoke while we walked, holding onto each other's hands, leaving our hell behind us. We didn't even seem to feel the coarse terrain under our bare feet. Felt like we'd been walking for hours when we spotted a light off in the distance. Nearly pulling my arm out of the socket, Carlisle took off, dragging me behind him. I hoped and prayed that whoever lived there wouldn't be dangerous, that we'd be able to get to a phone and find help. I wanted to go home.

Pushing open the gate, we ran up to the front porch, but before either of us could knock, the door swung open and we found ourselves face to face with the double barrel of a shotgun. Whimpering, Carlisle pulled my trembling body behind his, placing his free hand up in the air.

"We need help," his voice cracked. Dropping the gun down toward our chests, we found a little old woman, easily in her late seventies. She gave him the once over, before shifting her eyes over his shoulder at me.

"Oscar," she hollered, not taking her eyes off of us.

"What?" groused an even older man, coming up behind her. He took in our appearance, mouth falling open. "What in the world happened to you?"

"We need to borrow your phone," Carlisle words were strangled, thick with emotions.

"We don't have a phone, son, but we can run you two into town," he explained, placing his hand on the barrel of the gun his wife pointed at us, and pushing it down. "Mabel, these people need us."

Her eyes softened, she nodded her head, turning and heading back into their small farm house. Compared to the one we'd just escaped from, this one seemed to be a palace. Oscar led us over to an old pickup truck. It would only hold two people, so Carlisle and I climbed into the bed of the truck, leaning against the cab, knees pulled up and hands still clutched together. Mabel came out a few moments later with a blanket, which she tossed to us, before she climbed into the front of the truck with her husband. Carlisle tucked the blanket around the two of us, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. Oscar started the truck and headed into town. My tears fell freely.

I had no idea how long he'd been driving when he pulled his truck up in front of a small police station. He and Mabel climbed out of the truck, but neither Carlisle nor I seemed to be able to get our bodies to move. Smiling a sad, pitiful smile, Oscar left Mabel with us while he walked into the station, coming back out a few minutes later with two police officers.

"Oscar, here, tells us you two need some help," cautioned one of the officers, climbing onto the tail end of the truck, but froze when Carlisle and I flinched backward. "It's okay, we're not going to hurt you."

"They're dead," I muttered, dropping my eyes. "In the house, they're dead."

"Who's dead?" he pressed, looking back at his partner.

"Oh, shit," gasped the second officer, pulling all of our attention over to him. "They're the missing people from LA. The ones who've been all over the news."

Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I stifled my sobs, turning my face into Carlisle's shoulder. His body shook, but he didn't make a sound. "Call the LAPD, tell them we've found them," ordered the first police officer, before turning back to us. "I'm Chris. We're going to help you, okay?"

"We need a phone," Carlisle finally managed to speak.

"Sir, we're calling the police in LA for you," insisted Chris, reaching out for us, but pulled back when we both flinched.

"We need to call home," he muttered. "They'll be worried."

"Sir-"

"Chris, give the man your phone," scolded Mabel, reaching up and popping him in the back of the head. "Can't you see they need to call."

"Yes, Ms. Mabel," he grumbled, pulling his cell phone out and handing it to Carlisle. With his hands shaking, he tried to call, but his tears were falling too hard for him to do it. Reaching over, I tugged the phone away, dialing the house. Leaning my head back on his shoulder, I listened as the phone barely rang.

"Hello," grumbled Jasper. At the sound of his voice, my sobs came in full force. "Hello. Who's this?"

"Jas," I wept.

A breathless gasp met me on the other end, "Bella?"

JPOV

After crying for at least an hour together, Alice and Edward headed back downstairs to check on the kids. I climbed off the bed, and headed into the bathroom, intending to take a shower, but I couldn't find the will to actually take one. The bathroom seemed empty without Bella here with us. Everything was empty without her. We'd already come so close to losing her after the accident, and now, she was gone without a trace. Hadn't she suffered enough for one lifetime?

Walking back into our bedroom, I'd just sat down on the side of the bed when the phone rang. I picked it up before I'd even thought about what I was doing. "Hello," I deadpanned. The only noise coming through was the sound of someone crying. Feeling irritated, I groused, "Hello! Who's this?"

"Jas," came the sweetest voice I'd ever heard.

I gasped, feeling all the air leave my body. "Bella? Where are you?"

"I don't know," she sobbed. "A police station somewhere...I don't know. I...just don't know."

Sprinting out of our room, and downstairs, everyone looked up at me. My lips trembled, "Bella," everyone gasped, "honey, is Carlisle with you?"

"Yes," she breathed. "He's here."

I looked over at Esme, William, and Catherine, nodding my head, trying to let them know he was there with her. "Baby-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" she screamed.

"Calm down, Bella," I heard Carlisle soothing her. I crumbled to my knees, Alice and Edward were next to me in an heartbeat. Alice pulled the phone from my hand, turning on the speaker phone. "Jasper?"

"Yeah," I managed to get out.

"Don't call her that," he groused, "ever again."

"Where are you?" I begged.

"We don't know," he mumbled. From the background, we could hear someone talking. "Corona, we're in Corona."

"Carlisle," squeaked Esme, standing up from her position on the couch, "we're coming for you both, okay?"

"Hurry," he muttered, hanging up the phone. I let it fall out of my hands, hitting the floor as Alice and Edward wrapped their arms around me. They were safe, or at least as safe as they could be for now.

Somehow, we managed to get on our feet and leave the house. Mike, Tyler, Embry, and Jared insisted on keeping the kids, and while none of us liked the idea of being away from them, the last thing they needed would be to see Bella and Carlisle broken. Climbing into our various cars, we headed out of Los Angeles and down the highway toward Corona. The anticipation was stifling. Alice sat in the back seat of my truck, arms wrapped around herself, looking out the window. Edward was in the passenger seat, looking out his window, and I struggled to keep myself together enough to follow William, Peter, and Garrett as they led the way to our lost loved ones.

Forty-five long, excruciating minutes later, I parked my truck in front of the police station. Climbing out, I noticed a small crowd gathered around an older pick-up parked a few spaces down. Sharing a look with Edward and Alice, we headed over, and found Carlisle and Bella, sitting against the back of the truck bed, blankets covering them. They were leaning their heads against each others, ignoring the pleas from the officers asking them to get off the truck and head inside.

"Bella," breathed Alice.

She snapped her head up, looking right at us. Scrambling to her feet, she leaped out of the back, landing in mine and Edward's arms, holding onto us as tightly as her little arms could. Alice wrapped her arms around us, the four of us dropped to our knees, weeping. We were vaguely aware of Carlisle climbing out of the truck and finding his own place in the arms of his lovers, or the police throwing out question after question at all of us. Right now, all we could focus on was being back together.

Pulling away, she brought her hands up to our faces, trying to make sure that we were really here with her. I smiled, leaning into her hand, "We're here."

"The girls?" she choked out. "Did he get the girls?"

"No, Bella, they're fine, just scared," promised Alice, leaning her forehead against Bella's. "We were so scared."

"Me too," she cried. "So scared."

"Ma'am," called one of the officer's, Bella tensed up. "We need to take you to the hospital."

Shaking her her head, she turned in our arms, holding onto us anyway she should, "No hospitals."

He reached for her, Bella screamed, digging her nails into my arms. I bit back my cry. "Leave her alone," hissed Edward, pulling her into his arms, shielding her from the officers. "She said no."

"I can't go," she sobbed. "I can't. CARLISLE!"

"BELLA!" he roared, breaking through the crowd, finding her. She jumped into his arms, holding on to him.

"Don't let them touch me, please, don't let them touch me anymore." She was hysterical. My heart broke.

"Never again," he cried, burying his face in her hair.

"Sir," started one of the officers, reaching out and placing his hand on Carlisle's shoulder.

In a heartbeat, he had Bella behind him, snarling at the man before him, "NO! WE SAID NO! WHY ISN'T THAT ENOUGH!"

William and Catherine were holding Esme, who sobbed. It was then that we saw the dried blood covering both of them. Not only their clothing, but their arms and necks, too. Bile crept up my throat. "Bella," I spoke calmly, drawing her attention over to me. "Who's blood is that?"

She looked down at her blouse, lips trembling. "He would have killed us."

"Who?" questioned the officer. She shook her head, clutching onto Carlisle's shoulders. Reaching around, he shifted her back into his arms, cradling her to his chest.

"Demetri Romanov's," replied Carlisle, speaking just over a whisper. "He..." His words died in his throat.

The officer stepped up, holding his hands in front of him. "Where's he at?"

They both shook their heads, unable to say more.

"They came in front the west," answered an older man, stepping through the crowd. "Not much out there, but the old Burk place."

The officer nodded his head, ordering the officers behind him to let the LAPD know they were headed that way. Turning back to Bella and Carlisle, he sighed, "We need to take you both to the hospital, make sure you're okay."

"No, please, no," pleaded Bella, burying her face in our father-in-laws chest.

"Only if she does the exam," croaked Carlisle, pointing to Esme. "Nobody else touches us, but her."

The officer sighed again, looking at Esme, who looked terrified, but agreed with a quick nod of her head. The police tried to get them into the back of a squad car, but they both refused, climbing into the backseat of my truck. Climbing in behind the wheel, I drove them to the hospital, listening to them cry in the backseat, and feeling my heart break.

**See, I told ya I'd be quick! If you're extra nice, I might try to get another one banged out! Thank you for all the reviews. They really do make me smile!**


	25. Chapter 25

**BPOV**

Anxious, relieved, nervous, tired, there were so many feeling pulsating through me right now, I didn't know how to really explain what I felt. Carlisle tightened his arm around my shoulder, but I didn't look up at him. I didn't need to in order to know that everything I felt, he felt, too. The only relief had come when I saw Edward, Jasper, and Alice standing at the end of the truck. They'd come to save us.

Shifting my eyes from the floorboard, I looked up and caught Jasper's eye in the rear view mirror. I wanted to smile, but it wouldn't come. I wanted to hold him, but I couldn't. Shifting my gaze away, I bit back a strangled sob. It hurt so much.

He pulled his truck up in front of the emergency room of Corona Medical Center, cutting the engine, and climbing out from behind the wheel. He opened the door for Carlisle, but stepped away, giving him a chance to step out without making him feel nervous. Squeezing my hand tighter, he climbed out, sliding me across the seat with him. I took a deep breath, darting my eyes around as I slipped out of the truck, letting my bare foot touch the road. The two police officer's, Chris and whatever his name was, had led us over with Esme, William, and Catherine right behind us. Ducking my head, I scooted closer to Carlisle, feeling everyone watching us, waiting for us to do something. Hadn't we done enough?

Carlisle tugged on my hand, dragging me into the emergency room with everyone following us. I slipped my hand up, holding onto his arm, trying to hide behind him when we walked in. The handful of people sitting in the waiting room, the nurses sitting behind the triage desk, and everyone else, turned and stared at us. We tried to ignore them.

The officers led us through the double doors, straight back to one of the exam rooms. "You can use this one," grunted Chris, trying like hell not to look back at us.

"Okay," muttered Esme, pushing open the door. She turned, looking back at me and Carlisle, eyes filled with tears. Without saying anything, I let him pull me into the room, looking back at Edward, Alice, and Jasper.

"If you need anything..."

Shutting the door in his face, Esme cut his words off, turning to me and Carlisle. "I, um..." She trailed off, looking between the two of us. Bringing her hand up to her mouth, she stifled her sob the best she should, but we heard. Carlisle reached out with his free hand, pulling her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, I looked away.

"What do you need us to do?" muttered Carlisle, dropping his head onto her shoulder. "Just tell us so can go home."

"I, um, need to do a physical exam, and..." Esme looked over at me, "a rape kit?"

Ducking my head, I simply nodded my head, confirming her worst fear. "Oh, Sweet..." But stopped when we flinched.

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" seethed Carlisle, pulling me back several feet. Esme stood frozen by the door, a look of shock etched all over her face. "EVER!"

"I'm sorry," she muttered, quickly. Someone knocked on the door.

"Mom," called Edward, "everything okay?"

My knees crumbled, I started sobbing again. Carlisle turned, holding me up before I hit the ground. Esme cracked open the door, reassuring him that we were okay, each word a fucking lie. Nothing was okay. Shutting the door again, she turned, looking back at us.

"Can we just get this over with?" spat Carlisle, shaking his head.

"Of course," she replied. "I need you both to change into a gown, and then we can get started. One of you can use the bathroom, and I'll wait in the hall."

Before we could say anything, she left. I pulled away from Carlisle, grabbing one of the gowns on the bed, holding it up to my chest. Biting my lip, I looked up at him. "You won't leave me, right?" My voice shook.

"No," he whispered. "I..." Taking a deep, he shook his head.

I'm not sure how I manged to get my feet to move, or willed my hand to release his, but I did. I walked into the small bathroom, pulling the door shut just enough that he wouldn't see me, but not enough that I couldn't escape if I needed to. I'd learned to always be prepared for anything. Stripping off my clothes, I dropped them onto the floor, feeling my body ache. I pulled on my gown, making sure the back was done up and nobody would see anything. Not that they'd want to now.

Slipping out of the room, I found Carlisle sitting on the side of the bed, wearing his own gown, blood splattered up his neck, and onto his face. His hair stuck up, looked grimy and dirty. I slid onto the bed next to him, automatically taking his hand in mine, holding on as tight as I could. Looking down, I noticed the blood caked on our arms. I shivered.

"Are you cold?" he worried.

"A little," I admitted. He pulled the blanket off the top of the bed, slipping it over our legs. "It's weird, isn't it? Like we're dreaming?"

He nodded, looking down at his hands. "Are we dreaming?"

"I hope not," I breathed, the door opening. Shifting my eyes away, Esme came in, closing the door behind her and carrying two large kits. She set them on the counter, and turned back to us, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves.

"We'll start with the physical exam, if that's okay?" She made it sound like we had a choice, we didn't. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Just do it, already," snarked Carlisle.

She came to him first, starting with his face, and ignoring his flinch, or the way he whimpered when she stroked his cheek. I held onto his hand, trying to give him the strength to hold on, but I barely had enough strength for myself. She moved from his face, down to his arms, sniffling when she saw the scraps on his knuckles from where he fought for our freedom.

Sitting on a stool, she checked out his feet, wincing at the blisters that had formed from our journey to safety, but the hard part came when she needed to check his chest. I tried to climb off the bed, give him some privacy, but he held onto my hand, biting out, "Stay." So I stayed.

He nearly hyperventilated when touched his ribs, noting the bruises along his side. Leaning away, she scribbled in his chart before looking up at him. "Do..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "Do I need to perform a...a rape kit on you, too?"

Dropping his eyes away from hers, he nodded his head, letting his tears fall freely. Esme managed to stifle her cry, but it had been difficult. Standing up, she stripped off her gloves, pulling some new ones on. She didn't say much, just asking him to lay back on the bed so she could do her exam. I moved so that I was sitting on the side of the bed, facing him, holding his hand to my chest. Carlisle tried to be strong, knowing that I needed him to show me that it wasn't the end of the world, but I saw through him. I knew better than anyone, just how much respect he was losing.

Esme finished with him, placing his rape kit into a plastic bag and sealing it, before pulling on some fresh gloves. Carlisle sat up, refusing to make eye contract with her. Things would never be the same for them again, we all knew it. Turning, I slid back across the bed, letting her began examining me. Like she did with Carlisle, she started at my head, paying extra attention to the bruises on my cheeks. Making her way down, she checked my arms, my hands, my legs, wincing again when she saw my feet.

Shifting her eyes up, she sighed, "I need you to lie back."

I nodded, knowing that if I dared open my mouth, I'd vomit. Scooting over, I laid on the bed, letting her pull my feet up into the stirrups. Like I had done for him, Carlisle turned and faced me, offering me the same support I'd given him. Esme began her exam, I winced, letting a tear travel down my face. He reached up, wiping it away for me.

"Still thinking about going on that trip?" He tried to distracted me, I appreciated the effort, even if it didn't help.

"Don't know that I really feel like it now," I muttered.

"Yeah," he snorted. "The girls are okay, right? He didn't..."

I shook my head, "They said the girls were fine," I explained, wincing again.

"Can't you be gentle?" snarled Carlisle, turning to Esme. She looked over the blanket at him, eyes swimming with tears. He took a deep breath, eyes softening. "Please, be gentle with her."

"I'm trying," she wept. "I'm sorry."

Carlisle turned his back on her, looking back down at me. Esme finished her exam, sealing my kit up just as she had done Carlisle's, and muttering about there being some clean scrubs in the box on the counter. Gathering the two kits, she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

"I know how to clear a room, don't I?" he scoffed, climbing off the bed. I sat up. He tossed me some scrubs.

"You were being kind of rude," I pointed out.

"I know," he sighed, slipping the pants on under his gown. "I didn't mean to be. I just...I don't know how to be."

I slipped off the bed, heading toward the bathroom. Stopping, I looked back at him. "Do you think they've found them yet?"

Carlisle shrugged his shoulders, "I really don't care," he muttered. "They're going to burn in hell."

"Will we?" I wondered.

He looked up at me. "Maybe."

Nodding my head, I turned and walked into the bathroom, pulling the door closed again. Slipping off the hospital gown, I dropped it onto the floor, pulling on the green scrubs Esme had managed to find for us. They were too big, but they'd do. Walking out, I found Carlisle washing his arms and hands, scrubbing as hard as he could. Walking over, I placed my hands over his, helping him wash away the blood.

We'd just managed to wash away the last bit of it when someone knocked on the door. Grabbing at each other, we scooted across the room, flatting ourselves against the wall, both of us trembling with fear. The door pushed open and Edward, Alice, Jasper, William, Catherine, and Esme came with two detectives following them. Letting the door close behind them, they shifted their gazes to us, frowning by our protective stances.

"Ba...Bella, it's ok," insisted Alice, walking toward me and Carlisle, holding her hand out. Looking up at him, I waited for him to tell me if he thought it'd be okay. He nodded his head, releasing my hand. I turned, gripping Alice's hand, letting her pull me into her arms. "I've got you."

"Ali," I murmured, tightening my grip in her hand, tears falling for the millionth time.

"Bell," she wept, laying her head on my chest. Shifting my gaze over, I saw Edward and Jasper standing off to the side. Reaching for them, they scurried across the room, wrapping their arms around the two of us.

"Don't leave me," I sobbed, holding onto them. "Please, don't leave me!"

"Never," all three of them assured me.

From behind us, one of the detectives cleared his throat, I felt every nerve in my body tense up. Shifting our eyes over, he stood, leaning against the wall. "We have some questions."

"And?" gritted Carlisle, standing in the middle of his own loves.

"And you need to supply us with some answers," he replied. "I'm Detective Jones, this is my partner-"

"We don't need your names," I muttered. "We want to go home."

"Ma'am-"

"Don't ma'am me," I sneered. "WE WANT TO GO HOME!"

"We're just trying to get this case wrapped up," he groused.

"Fuck you, and your case," snarled Carlisle, shifting out of the arms of the people holding onto him, and taking my hand. Tugging me to his chest, he leaned his head down onto mine. "We came in, letting you do your fucking exam, and kits. We're going home."

"Sir," started Detective Jones, placing his hands on his hips.

"Don't fucking patronize me," he growled. "I am going home, and I'm taking her with me. All of you can go straight to fucking hell if you don't like it."

The two detectives stared at the two of us for a long moment, before finally giving up and leaving. Placing my hand on his chest, I sighed in relief. I wasn't ready to discuss details. Knowing that Esme knew part of what had gone down in that house hurt enough, but to lay everything out like that, well, we weren't ready for that.

William cleared his throat, pulling everyone's attention over to him, "Well, we should head home," he muttered. Looking up at Carlisle, he held out his hand. "Ready?"

Taking deep breath, Carlisle looked down at me, silently asking me if it's okay. I didn't know if it would be or not. While all I wanted to do was go home, the idea of being apart from him terrified me. What if he needed me and I wasn't there to help him? My chest clenched, cutting off the air from leaving, or coming, into my lungs. They'd find us, and take us back. Crying out, I gripped his shirt, burying my face in his chest.

Carlisle brought his hand up to the back of my head, holding me as he leaned down and whispered, "They're dead."

"Are you sure?" I cried.

"I kept my promise," he murmured. "Remember?"

"And it's okay?" I wondered, lifting my eyes to his. "They won't hurt us, right?"

"I don't think so," he darted his eyes around the room at all of them. "They love us, don't they?"

I nodded, shifting my eyes over to Edward, Jasper, and Alice, who looked broken. "Okay," I breathed. "We can go...wherever."

With another deep breath, Carlisle let me go, taking William's hand. I bit my lip, shuffled over to Jasper, Edward, and Alice, unsure why I felt so unsafe right now. Looking over my shoulder at Carlisle, I caught his eye, offering him a tragic smile. He returned it, before turning back to his loved ones.

I'm not sure how we managed to get out of the emergency room and back out to the cars without anymore trouble. Of course, people stared, because they are vultures, preying on the weak and helpless. My parents, Peter, Charlotte, Emmett, Kate, Garrett, and Rose were sitting in the waiting room when we came out. They jumped to their feet, rushing toward us, but stopped when both Carlisle and I shuffled back, reaching out for the other. My mother started to speak, but I turned away, cutting the words off in her throat. The pity on her face was painful enough, I didn't need to hear it in each word she spoke, either.

"Can we go?" I looked at Alice. "Please?"

She nodded, bringing our joined hands up to her chest. "Let's go."

Jasper and Edward led us outside to the truck, where hundreds of photographers stood, snapping pictures that were sure to cover the first page of all the newspapers. They tried to shield us, but they couldn't really. Jasper yanked open the back door to his truck, offering me his hand. I placed my hand in his, looked over at Carlisle just when he was about to slid into the backseat of William's car. He met my gaze, frowning before he climbed into the car. I turned back, sliding into backseat of the truck. Alice climbed in next to me, still holding my hand. Once Jasper and Edward were inside, we headed back to the city, back home where we were supposed to be safe, but I didn't think such a place actually existed. Not anymore.

Even though I never let go of Alice's hand, I spent the entire drive looking out the window with my knees pulled up in front of me. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I couldn't. The words wouldn't come, only the fear that this was all just a dream, and we were still in that basement. Bringing my hand up to my chest, I clawed at my skin, trying to stifle the urge to throw open the door to the truck and jump.

Finally, Jasper pulled up into the garage of our house. I throw the door to the truck open, jumping out and running as hard as I could into the house, ignoring everything else around me. Throwing the front door open, I slid to stop when I saw Mike, Tyler, Embry, and Jared sitting on the couches in the living room. Slowly standing up, they all stepped toward me, but I shuffled back, hitting a hard body behind me. Screaming, I spun, finding Edward standing there.

"It's okay, love," he soother, reaching for me.

I shook my head, stepping away. "The kids?" I panicked. "Where are the kids?"

"In the boys' rooms, sleeping," answered Tyler.

Without another word, I shuffled over to the stairs and headed up. Pushing open their door, I brought my hand up to my chest. There were my babies, safe and sound. Dropping to my knees, I crawled across the floor, laying down behind Whitley, draping my arm across my girls. Trying to be quiet, I cried myself to sleep, holding on to the thin shred of hope I had left.

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews! They both have a long road a head of them, and it won't be easy for any of them. **


	26. Chapter 26

_"Baby, you feel so good," moaned Demetri, kneading my tender flesh. Bile rose in my throat, and I looked away."LOOK AT ME, YOU FUCKING WHORE!" _

_I snapped my eyes back to his, not wanting to give him another excuse to hit me. Like he needed another excuse. He enjoyed inflicting pain, I could see it in his eyes. He smiled, shifting his eyes back to my body, splayed out in front of him. It took all my control not to scream out when his fingers touched me. _

_"You know, I can't help but wonder, if your girls feel like you," he smirked, lifting his eyes up to mine, searching for any reaction. There wasn't one. I couldn't let him know that my girls were my weakness, not that he didn't already know. He'd used them to get to me in the first place. "Oh, baby, you're so quiet," he sighed, shaking his head. "Maybe I need to see what I can do to get you to scream for me."_

_Bringing his hand down around my throat, he cut off my air supply, while assaulting my body, and soul. Bringing my hands up, I clawed at his hand, trying to get him off of me, but I wasn't strong enough. With my vision fading slowly, my scream echoed._

Springing up, I expected to find the cold, musky darkness surrounding me, but instead, I was met with bright, warming sunshine. It took me a long moment to realize that I was back in my bedroom, the same room I shared with Edward, Jasper, and Alice. In a rush, the events of the day rushed back to me. With my heart racing, I scrambled out of bed, and downstairs to the living room. Edward, Jasper, and Alice sat on the floor with Whitley, Mackenzie, Edison, and Jackson. Dropping to my knees, I couldn't contain the strangled sob that escaped my lips. I was home.

"MOMMY!" screeched Whitley, scrambling to her feet and running over to me. I tried not to flinch, but I did when she jumped on me, wrapping her arms and legs around me, pushing me backward.

"Mommy," cried Mackenzie, joining our reunion. I wrapped my arms around both my girls, not caring that I was sobbing uncontrollably. They were safe, and maybe I was, too.

"Mamamama," babbled Edison. I looked around the girls, watching as my son wobbled over to me, hands in the air. A new round of tears spilled down my face. The girls moved, sitting next to me on the floor, as he and Jackson, who crawled over to me, climbed into my lap, laying their head against my chest. My heart broke at how many small moments I'd missed.

"How long?" I breathed, looking up at Edward. "How long did they..." My words died in the air.

"Two days," he mumbled, thick with emotions.

Leaning down, I kissed their little round heads, letting my tears drip into their hair. "I need..." I closed my eyes. "Take them, please. I need..."

Jasper and Alice rushed over, pulling the boys out of my lap. I scrambled to my feet, rushing back up the stairs, barely making it to our bedroom before my knees gave out. Screaming into the carpet, I didn't hear the door open behind me. It wasn't until I felt Edward's arms around me that I realized he'd followed me.

"Promise me that it's going to be okay," I begged.

"I promise," he lied, we both knew he couldn't make that guarantee, but I needed to hear those two little words anyway.

Pulling away from him, I stood up, turning toward the bathroom. "I need to shower, so..."

"Do you want me to wait here?" He stood up.

I shrugged my shoulders, not sure of what I wanted right now. "Whatever."

I shuffled into the bathroom, closing the door behind me, and locking it. We never locked the door before, and I'm not sure why I felt the need to lock it, but I did. Reaching into the shower, I turned on the water, barely turning the cold on. Stripping the scrubs off, I let them fall to the floor, not bothering to look in the mirror. I didn't need to see how pathetic I looked right now. I could feel it in my soul, if I had a soul left.

Stepping into the water, I let the scorching hot water roll over my head, dripping down onto my shoulders and back. It should have felt hotter, but it didn't feel nearly hot enough to wash everything away from me. Reaching down, I turned the cold down even more. The water warmed up, but still didn't feel hot enough for me. I turned the cold water off completely and grabbed my shampoo of the shelf, pouring too much into my hand. The coconut scent flooded my nostrils, bringing tears back to my eyes. I just wasn't sure why.

I took my time to thoroughly wash my hair, moving on to my body. No matter how much I scrubbed my body, every inch of me felt like it was crawling with grime. When the water turned icy cold, I forced myself to turn it off, pulling a towel into the shower with me, and drying off, wrapping it around my body, adding another to my hair. Biting on my lip, I stepped out of the shower, realizing that I had nothing clean to put back on. How could I be so stupid?

Flicking the lock, I opened the door to the bathroom, peeking out enough to see Edward sitting on the end of the bed. He looked up when the door opened. "Ba...Bella, are you okay?"

"I need some clothes," I muttered. "Please."

He stood up, moving over to our dresser. "Anything in particular?"

"No," I breathed. "Comfortable, I guess."

Edward nodded, pulling out a pair of my panties, and one of my bras, white cotton. His favorite on me. Pulling open the second drawer, he pulled out one of grey painting shirts. My favorite. Tugging open the third drawer, he took out a pair of black sweatpants. He brought the items over, pushing through the small crack in the door. I took them, muttering thank you before I shut the door.

Leaning against the door, I realized I'd been holding my breath. Letting it out, I pulled on the clothes Edward had brought me, tossing my towels into the hamper, and pulling the door open again. This time, he'd leaned against the wall, hands behind him, and feet crossed in front of him. Looking up at me, he smiled, but I couldn't return it, no matter how much I wanted to, and I really wanted to smile back at him.

"Feel better?" He pushed off the wall, reaching out of my hand.

Lifting my arm, placed it in his, shrugging my shoulders. "I guess. What time is it?"

"Almost noon," he replied. "You were tired." I nodded, unsure of what to say. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," I muttered, looking around the room. "Have you talked to Carlisle?"

"No, not yet," he admitted. "Do want to call him?"

I did, but something in the way he asked, caused me to shake my head. "I'm..."

I trailed off, before letting go of his hand, and walking out of our bedroom. There were so many words running through my head, so much I wanted to say to him, Jasper, and Alice, but I couldn't seem to get them out. They were stuck in my throat, and I hated it. Heading downstairs, I heard Alice and Jasper in the kitchen with the kids, laughing about carrots sticks. My heart ached.

Walking into the kitchen, they all turned, looking at me. Smiles beamed on my babies faces, while Alice and Jasper tried. I knew they tried. I slid into the seat between the boys and the girls, keeping my back to the wall and making sure I could see everyone's movements. Reaching over and brushing the hair of out Mackenzie's face.

Smile dropping, she reached over, running her fingers over my bruised cheek, "Where did you get this bruise?" Dropping my hand from her tiny face, I looked away. I couldn't tell her the truth. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words were stuck.

"Mack, sit down," Alice sighed, looking over at me. "Are you hungry, ba...Bella?"

I shook my head, knowing that if I ate, I'd throw up. Pulling my knees up, I tucked my arms in between them and my chest, watching and listening to my family try to act like today was a normal day. The girls turned their attention back to their food, giggling everything they made a new, funny shape with their food. The boys babbled, lapping up the food Alice fed them. Jasper and Edward sitting on the other end of the table, watching them, but sneaking glances over at me.

"Today's Monday?" I wondered, looking around.

"Yes," Jasper smiled.

Looking over at the girls, "Why aren't they at school?" They all looked at me with blank stares.

"We thought with everything going on," Edward paused, "it would be easier if they had a few days."

Shifting my gaze from his, I nodded, understanding that I'd ruined everything. No need to explain anything to me. Standing, I opened my mouth to speak, but clamped it shut, walking out of the kitchen without saying anything. I headed out into my studio, closing the door behind me, and sliding to the floor. Through the door, I heard the girls asking what was wrong with me, and them saying everything would be okay. Nothing would be okay.

I'm not sure how long I'd been sitting on the floor in my studio, staring at the blank canvas' leaning against the work table across from me, when someone knocked on the other side of the door. Scrambling to my feet, I hesitated before reaching over and opening the door. Relief flooded over me when I saw Carlisle standing there. He stepped in without saying a word, and I shut the door, sitting back on the floor. He followed.

"What are you doing in here?" He looked over at me.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Kind of loud in there."

"Yeah," he sighed, leaning against the door. I leaned over, laying my head on his shoulder, weaving my fingers in with his. "Last night, when we got back home, I took a shower. Spent an hour in there, but I still feel the grime on me."

"Me too," I admitted. "Did you tell them anything?"

Carlisle shook his head, "What do I say? Just thinking about what they did to us..."

"I don't know what to say to them. When we were gone, all I wanted was for them to hold me, take the pain away, but every time I look at them, I get scared. I shouldn't be scared of them, Carlisle. I love them, and I know they loved me."

"They still do." I looked up at him. "You said loved, but I know what you mean. They ask me over and over if I'm okay, if I'm hungry, or if I need anything. Don't they understand that all I need is them?"

"Maybe they don't need us now," I muttered. "I feel...broken."

"Destroyed," he added.

Turning my head, I sighed, "I feel them watching me all the time, like they are waiting for me to just...I don't know, do something?"

He nodded, leaning his head down on mine. "I wanted to check on the girls. See for myself that he didn't..." Trailing off, he took a deep breath. "They came running to me, like they'd done since they were able to walk, and I got scared, Bella. My beautiful granddaughters scared me. That's not right."

"I'm kind of scared of them, too," I admitted, looking up at him. "I don't want them to ever know that..." My eyes filled up with tears, and I barely managed to bite back my sob. "I don't want them to know that we put their lives in danger."

"Me either," he muttered. "They're innocent."

"Like we used to be," I whispered. "Did they find them?"

"I don't know," he replied.

Carlisle and I sat on the floor in my studio for at least another hour, before heading back into the house. When we walked into the living room, me clutching onto him, and him squeezing my fingers, we found everyone sitting in the living room. I do mean everyone. They looked back at us, shifting their eyes away before it could be called gawking, but that's what they did. No point in pretending.

Moving over, Carlisle and I sat in front of the large picture window, both of us pulling our knees up in front of us protectively. Shifting my eyes over to Esme, I noticed the tears swimming in her eyes. Still crying over how pathetic we were.

"Did you tell them?" My words came out much harsher than I'd intended, but I couldn't find it in myself to care.

"No," she sighed, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Why not?" I pressed. "Don't you think they deserve to know?"

Looking up at me, she huffed. "Maybe I do, but I wouldn't tell them unless you both told me I could. I would never do anything to hurt either of you, Sweet-" She stopped in mid-sentence when both of us tensed up.

"Are you just stupid?" hissed Carlisle, squeezing my hand so tight, I cried out. He snapped his head over to me, fear oozing out. "Bella, I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I sniffled, holding my hand up to my chest. "It's fine, you didn't do anything."

"I'm so fucking stupid," he spat, clenching his fists in his hair, yanking hard. I reached over, covering his hands with mine.

"Don't," I begged, "please don't."

Nodding his head, he lifted his eyes back up to mine, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," I murmured, holding my hand up in front of him. "See? Perfect."

Inhaling, he shifted his eyes over to Esme, hardening in a heartbeat. "Don't call either of that. It's not that hard to remember."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

Rolling my eyes, I scoffed, "You're all sorry, aren't you?"

"Bella," gasped Renee.

I snapped my head over to her. "What, Mother?" I sneered, she flinched. "I'm just stating a fact. All of you are just sitting there, feeling sorry for us, gaping at us. Or maybe you're just waiting to hear all the fucking details? Is that it? You just want to know what they did to us? Well, you can go to hell with them, because I will never tell you. EVER!" I screamed the last word, everyone winced.

"A bunch of motherfucking vultures, digging for information," muttered Carlisle.

I stood up, pulling him to his feet along with me. Shifting my eyes back over to my parents, William, and Catherine, I said the words that I knew would cut deeper than any knife, "Guess you were right about me being whore then, weren't you?"

Tugging on Carlisle's hand, I pulled him over to the stairs, leading him up to my bedroom. Climbing on my bed, I pulled him on with me, crying over each word I'd spoken out of hatred, and every lashing I'd never be able to take back.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I am officially emotionally spent, so don't be looking for an update for at least a few days. My other babies need some love, too!**


	27. Chapter 27

I didn't recognize the woman looking back at me through the mirror. Once upon a time she smiled and laughed, enjoying the pleasures that life produced, but not anymore. Physically, she still looked the same. The same long, dark brown hair, deep chocolate brown eyes Edward claimed he could see his soul in. Skin the color of porcelain, and lips the color of roses, everything on the outside seemed perfect.

The adorning bruises that had been covering her face and neck were nearly faded. If one looked close, they'd be able to see dull greenish/yellow coloring wrapping around her neck, creeping up to her cheeks and eyes. If they looked really close, they'd be able to see the fear running rampant in her eyes, feel the anxiety pouring off of her. They'd know she was worthless now.

"Bella, honey, are you about ready?" Lifting my eyes up, I looked at Alice through the mirror. Leaning against the threshold to our bedroom, she had her arms folded in front of her. Her eyes were locked on mine, I fought the urge to cover up, feeling naked in front of her. Never in all my life had I felt embarrassed about my body with her, until now.

"I need to change," I muttered, looking to the pile of clothes on the bed. None of them were right. They were whore's clothes, skimpy and revealing. They were suggestive and provocative, the kind of clothes that make people want to hurt you. Moving to the closet, I began searching for something, anything I could wear.

"Bella, stop," whispered Alice, placing her hand on my shoulder. I tensed, both wanting, but fearing her hand on me. "Look at me." Turning, I let my eyes fall to the floor. Tilting my head up, she smiled. "You don't have to go back today. You can wait until you're ready."

"I am ready," I lied, shrugging her hands off of me. I saw the hurt spring up in her eyes. "I have to go back, the company needs me."

"But..."

"I'll be down in a minute." My words had come out harsher than I intended.

Sighing, she left, closing the door behind her. Turning back to the closet, I grabbed one of Edward's work shirts, tossing it onto the bed. Pulling the sweater up over my head, I dropped it with the rest my discarded clothes, and pulled on his shirt, buttoning it to the top. It was too big for me, but at least I felt covered in it. Pulling my jacket on, I rushed out of the room before I changed my mind once again.

When I got downstairs, I found Edward, Jasper, and Alice waiting next to the door with kids. Mackenzie and Whitley both scrambled over to me, slipping their hands in with mine. I fought the urge to flinch. My daughters shouldn't scare me, but after everything I had done to them, they deserved better than me. Slipping my hands out of theirs, I hurried over and picked up my briefcase.

"Are we ready?" I looked around, waiting for someone to say something.

"Yeah," sighed Edward, shifting Edison up on his hip.

Sharing a look with Jasper and Alice, he lead everyone out to the car. Everyone, but me. I stood inside the house, unable to take that one step. Just one step, that's all I needed to take, but my feet were glued to the floor. My heart raced, beating wildly against my ribs. Nestled inside my throat, rested a scream, begging to be released.

"Bella, are you coming?" Jasper came rushing into the house.

Lifting my eyes to his, I nodded, swallowing the against the lump in my throat. Tightening my grip on my briefcase, I managed to get my feet to move, sliding against the floor like I had deadweights hanging off of them. Pausing in the doorway, I reached out, placing my hand on Jasper's chest, gripping his shirt beneath my fingers.

"Help me outside." I whispered, ashamed of my weakness.

Without uttering a word, his arm slid around my waist, giving me the strength to step out onto the porch. My insides were screaming, cursing me for leaving the house knowing that everyone would see my shame, see the dirt and grime covering my body, but I knew if I stayed home, locked away inside those walls, I'd go insane. Somehow, I had to figure out how to get my life back.

The drive to the girls school was made in complete silence. They were chattering about the new Halloween project Mrs. White had them working on. They'd been reluctant to return to school last week, and I had been reluctant to allow them to leave, but they had to go back. I just kept having to remind myself that he wasn't there anymore, that he couldn't get to me or my girls. I kept telling myself that as I looked down at my hands, expecting to see the red tint of his blood covering them.

"Mommy," called Whitley, covering my hands with her own. I looked up at her. "Are you coming?"

Looking around, I notice we were parked outside of their school. Wordlessly, I nodded my head, moving one of my hands to cover hers. She smiled, before climbing out of the van, and I follow, squinting as the sun hit my eye. Alice held out a part of dark, oversized sunglasses, tossing me a coy smile.

"Thanks, Ali," I whispered, pulling them on.

"I'll always take care of you, Bella," she promised, bringing her hand up to my face, brushing away a stranded tear. And I believed her.

Slipping her hand into mine, we followed Edward and Jasper as they took the girls into school, each with one of our sons propped up on their hips. The hallways were filled with children, chirping happily about the movies they had seen over the weekend, the games they had played at their neighbor parks, and who they thought were the cutest boys in school. But the adults, parents and teachers alike, stopped in their doorways in mid-sentence, in order to stare and gawk at me. Even with my sunglasses on, I knew they could see the disgust rolling off of me.

Letting go of my hand, Alice wrapped her arm around my waist, trying her hardest to keep me together. We passed Jocelyn's classroom as Rose and Kate stepped out, freezing when they saw me. Little, sweet Jocelyn looked around them both, spotting me for the first time.

"Aunt Bella," she squealed jumping on me. I stumbled back, grabbing her in my arms so she wouldn't fall. A fragile whimper dribbled out of my lips. Tearing my sunglasses off my face, I looked to Rose for help.

"Jocelyn, ba...sweetie, it's time to go to your desk," muttered Rose, pulling the little girl off of me. My chest was heaving, tears were swimming in my eyes as I looked from Rose to Kate, and back.

"I'm sorry," I gasp, covering my mouth. "I..."

"Don't worry about it," insisted Kate, while Rose walked past her with Jocelyn. "She misses you, Bella. We all miss you."

"Okay," I muttered, unsure of how to respond. I missed them, too.

The carefree, easy way we could joke around, teasing each other, and being able to be open with how we felt, but now, now everything had changed. Now, I had to keep my feelings locked away inside of me, if wanted to keep my family. If they knew, I mean really knew, how I felt, they'd leave me, taking my children with them. I couldn't have that, not after I fought to find my way back to them. I'd just have to figure out a way to hide it better.

"We'd better get the girls to their classroom," piped up Edward, pulling their attention off of me.

"Of course, we'll see you later." Kate smiled, shifting her eyes over to me before heading into the classroom and joining Rose at Jocelyn's desk.

Squeezing my waist, Alice motioned for me to follow them. As I took my first step, Rose looked up, sadness easing into her eyes, pitiful smile on her lips. Even my sister found me to be worthless once again. Shifting my eyes away from her, I pushed my sunglasses back on top of my head, letting Alice pulled me behind everyone.

When we got to the girls' classroom, we found Emmett, Garrett, and Jared standing with Mrs. White. All of them looked over at me, dropping off in mid-sentence, just like everyone else had. A self-satisfied look crept over her face, almost as if my kidnapping and tortured had somehow proved her point about the way we were raising our children. Looking away, maybe she was right.

"Girls, you'd better hurry and get settled before the bell rings," advised Mrs. White.

With worrying looks back at me, the girls started whimpering, flinging themselves against me. "No, we want to stay with you, Mommy," cried Whitley.

"Please, Mommy, don't go," begged Mackenzie.

My heart broke as I held them. I wanted to take them home, keep them tucked up to me, and keep them safe forever, but at the same time, I found it hard to be around them without thinking about all the what if's that could have happened. Panic rose inside of me as I looked around for any sign that he was here. Catching Garrett's eye, I dropped mine to my girls.

"Come on, girls," I whispered. "I'll take you to your seats."

"Mrs. Cullen, I don't-"

Placing his hand up, Jasper interrupted Mrs. White, "That's a good idea, Beautiful."

However, Mrs. White didn't seem to think I should escort my daughters into their classroom, but, after deciding I didn't care, I placed my hands on their backs and lead them over to their desks. Behind me, I could hear Jasper, Edward, and Alice speaking in quiet whispers about what the girls needed, and giving us time to adjust. Blah, blah, blah. I was tired of hearing how it would take time for me to feel comfortable with everyone again.

Kneeling down next to the girls, I tried to smiled. "There you go, ready for school."

"Mommy, are you going to be home tonight?" wept Mackenzie.

Bringing my hand up to her face, I brushed away her tears. "I have to work today, but as soon as I'm done, I'm coming home. I promise."

"You're not gonna go away again, right?" whimpered Whitley, laying her head over on my shoulder.

"No, sweetheart," I whispered. "I'm never going away again."

Hoping and praying I'd be able to keep my word to my girls, I leaned in, kissing both of their cheeks, before standing up and nearly running out of the room. Edward caught me in his arms, pulling me into his chest, just holding me without the expectations of any kind of explanation. Mrs. White muttered something under her breath as she pulled her door shut behind her, starting her work day.

The boys started fussing so we made our way outside, where I once again pulled the sunglasses over my eyes, shielding myself away from everything, but at the same time, nothing. Alice and Jasper got the boys loaded into the car, handing their favorite toys, while Edward talked to Jared, Emmett, Rose, and Kate about who would be picking the girls up and taking them to Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte's after school. Meanwhile, I stood nervously by the door, feeling my skin crawling.

"So, how are you really doing?" muttered Garrett, leaning against the car behind me.

"Oh, you know." I waved my hand in the air.

"No, why don't you tell me?" he pushed, placing his hand on my shoulder.

Shrugging away his touch, I turned toward him. "I don't know."

"Are you going to call Jane?" He eyed me closely, scowling when I shifted my eyes away from his. "Bella, she'd help you though this."

"Yeah?" I mumbled. "Maybe, but, Gar, this isn't just someone smacking me around. You know that, right?" I looked him in the eye. "Right?"

He nodded. "Gives you even more reason to call her."

"Or more reason to never talk about it." Bringing my hand up to my chest, I took a deep breath, pushing back the anxiety raging under the surface.

"Bottling it all up isn't gonna help," he murmured, pressing his lips to the side of my head. "Just think about it, okay? Because you're hurting more than yourself if you keep this all inside of you."

With tears swimming in my eyes, I watched him and Emmett head over to where Kate and Rose were waiting for them. Leaning in, Garrett pressed his lips against Emmett's, I felt jealous. I wanted to be able to feel my lovers again, to feel their hands on my body and not want to scream for them to stop. Shaking my head, I turned and climbed into the very backseat of the van, pulling my knees up to my chest. I wanted my life back.

The drive to my parents house felt like it took forever. Edward drove with Alice in the passenger seat. Jasper did his best to keep the boys entertained so they wouldn't cry the entire time. Each of them spent more time looking back at me than anything else. I started to feel like a true freak.

When Edward pulled up to their house, he and Alice climbed out, each taking one of the boys from Jasper. I stayed in the van, not sure I could see my parents again. They had called everyday, asking whoever happened to pick up the phone if I was better. Edward, Jasper, and Alice tried to hide it, but they weren't very cryptic with their "She's dealing" or "Hanging in there today." Or my favorite "Everything's fine." Nothing's fine, far from it, but why bother correcting them?

Jasper reached back, slipping his fingers in with mine. "You know, I've been thinking."

"Did it hurt?" I smiled, almost feeling it.

"Ha ha," he muttered, dryly. "I'm being serious."

"I'm sorry. What were you thinking?"

"I'm thinking it's been awhile sense you and I went on a date, just the two of us," he cooed. "What do you say, Beautiful? Want go on a date with me?"

Inhaling a deep breath, I looked out the window, unsure what to say. I wanted to, but at the same time, the thought of going out with him, just him, scared the shit out of me. Would I ever get to the point where I'd be able to spend time with them without it feeling like my chest would explode?

"Bella, just dinner and a movie, nothing you can't handle," he assured me.

Nibbling on my lip, I looked back at him. "Can I think about it? I'm just... I need to think about it, Jas."

"Of course, we can go when you are ready, Bella, and not before." He smiled, bringing my hand up to his lips. Before I could stop it, a tear strolled down my face. "Oh, Beautiful."

He wiped the tear away when Edward and Alice climbed in, both noticing, but neither of them saying anything about it. Maybe they understood what I needed more than I realized. Shifting the van back into drive, Edward headed into downtown LA, toward the company. Suddenly, I didn't know if I should be going back there at all.

**Thank you all for the reviews. After the last handful of chapters, I had to take a much needed break from this story. The events Bella went through brought up a lot of bad memories for me, and I needed time to gain a bit of control over my emotions. Honestly, I struggled to get the nerves to come back and I'm praying I'll be able to keep my sanity through this journey. **


	28. Chapter 28

Instead of parking inside the parking garage, Edward pulled up in front of the company, cutting the engine and looking at me through the rear view mirror. Even though he tried to smile, I could see the worry in his piercing, green eyes. Shifting my eyes away, I looked out the window, watching everyone on their way to work, not a single care in the world. I envied them.

"Remember when we first met," I murmured. "How easy it was to just be?"

"Yes," admitted Jasper, placing his hand on my knee.

My body tensed, he pulled away, but I reached out, grabbing his hand. "I don't want to be afraid to let you touch me."

"You don't have to be." Speaking softly, he placed his hand back on my knee. I could feel every inch of me shaking. "Beautiful, look at me."

I shifted my eyes up to his, finding nothing, but truth in them. "I miss us," I mumbled. "I'm scared all the time. It hurts to think or breath." Pausing, I took a deep breath. "I think I'm broken for good this time."

"You're not," disagreed Alice. "You just need time. We're willing to give you time, but you have to talk to us."

Shaking my head, I pulled my hand from Jasper. "You don't want to hear what's inside my head."

"We do," insisted Edward, shifting in his seats so that he was facing me. "We want you to scream at us, to rage and rant to us. We want to help you, Bella, but you aren't letting us."

Closing my eyes, I crawled up to the middle seat of the van and threw open the door, stepping out onto the sidewalk. Looking back at him, Jasper, and Alice, I frowned. "You should want better than me. All I've ever done is cause one problem or another for us. It would have been better if they'd just killed me."

Hearing them gasp, I turned toward the building, trying to get the courage to walk the ten feet to the door. Stepping out behind me, Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist. I looked up at him, eyes wide with fear, to be met once again with nothing less than love and kindness. I didn't deserve him, or Alice and Edward, but I would hold onto them as long as I could, hoping and praying they didn't get tired of me along the way.

"It's okay, beautiful," he assured me. "We've got you."

Sliding up next to me, Alice grabbed my hand, giving me a gentle squeeze. Edward walked ahead of us, opening the door for me. The gesture wouldn't have meant much to anyone else, but to me it meant everything. For at least one more day, my lovers were surrounding me with love and support, holding me up when my shame threatened to tear me down, dragging me into hell.

Letting them guide me, we walked into the building. Edward let the door close, placing his hands on my hips when he stepped up behind me. Everyone in the lobby stopped and stared at me. Shifting my eyes away from them, I turned and faced Edward, feeling my heart hammering against my ribs.

"Make them stop," I hissed, clenching my teeth together.

"Bella, bab-" Feeling me tense against him, he stopped speaking in mid-word. "I'm sorry."

Pushing him away, I stumbled back several feet. "You're always sorry, aren't you?"

Turning, I wrapped my arms around my body, and ran for the stairs, bypassing the elevators completely. The last thing I needed was to be locked inside there with people breathing down my neck. Just the thought if it made me shudder. Taking the stairs up to the fifth floor, I went slow, taking my time to get there. I wasn't in a hurry, knowing that the stares and gawking would only be worse up there.

Those were the people who saw me every day, who knew me better than almost anyone. The same ones who leered at my naked body when the emails came out. Dropping onto one of the stairs between the third and fourth floors, I wrapped my arms around my knees, letting my body succumb to my silent pain.

"Bella." Sighing, I looked over my shoulder at Embry, who had stopped on the landing between the two flights. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" I snarked, standing up. "What are you doing here?"

"The truth?" he wondered.

"No, lie to me," I muttered.

"I came looking for you." He leaned against the wall. "Edward, Alice, and Jasper said you took the stairs."

"Great, well, you found me, so why don't you go back to work," I grumbled, pushing past him. He reached out and grabbed my arm. Spinning, I felt my other arm raise up and my hand fly forward, hitting him on his cheek.

"GODDAMN IT!" he yelled, letting go of my arm and grabbing his face. Scrambling back against the wall, I began to whimper, frantically looking around for the closest escape. Sliding against the wall, I took off up the stairs. "BELLA, WAIT!"

Ignoring him, I ran faster, dropping my briefcase on the stairs. It tumbled down the stairs behind me, but I couldn't look back, I had to run away and hide. I needed Carlisle.

Throwing open the door to the fifth floor, I ran out, just in time to run into someone. Screaming, I stumbled back, hitting someone else. Dropping to the floor, I crawled into the closest corner, wrapping my arms about myself, trying to disappear.

"Oh my God, Bella," wailed Carlisle. Snapping my head up, I saw him pushing his way through the crowd, dropping to his knees in front of me. He reached out, pulling me to him. I could feel him shaking, and I knew he felt just like I did; scared of his mind. "It's okay, Bella, I've got you."

"Help...me," I gasped, struggling to breathe. "Please...help...me."

Tucking me closer to him, Carlisle managed to stand up with me in his arms. When he turned around, I saw everyone staring at us, leering at us. Probably imagining me naked, deciding a dirty whore like me got exactly what I deserved. Maybe they were right. Ducking my head into his chest, I whimpered again.

"Stop fucking staring," groused Carlisle, heading down the hallway toward my office. "Motherfucking vultures."

"Dad, wait," called Edward. Halting, he looked over his shoulder at one of my husbands. "I'll take her."

"No!" I screamed, holding tighter onto Carlisle. "Don't let him hurt me again, Carlisle. Not again!"

"I won't," he mumbled, ignoring Edward and walking into my office.

Kicking the door shut behind him, he reached down, flicking the lock on the door, before setting me down on my couch. Staying so that I could lean against him, I tried to stop my tears from falling, but every time I tried, I smelled Demetri. I felt every strike from his heavy hand, the cruel words he spoke to me, the violent way he treated my body, heart, and soul. I felt him break me a thousand more times.

Carlisle didn't say anything as he held me against his body, once again taking care of me. He'd been there to hold me in the darkness, doing what little he could to stop them from taking apart our souls. Snuggling deeper into him. I slid my hand up, wrapping it around his neck, letting my fingers find his hair.

"I'm losing it," I confessed.

"Me too," he whispered. "It took me twenty minutes to get the balls to step out of the house. William and Catherine kept telling me that I didn't have to come back, I could stay home, but..."

"Ali did, too, but if I stayed home..."

"They want to help me, but I don't know how to let them in." Shaking his head, he sighed. I looked up at him, seeing the anguish pouring out of his eyes. "I want them back, Bella. I want to feel them next to me without feeling her."

"I know." I frowned, sliding onto the couch next to him. "Jasper wants to take me on a date. Just us."

"Are you going to go?" His question was filled with doubt and uncertainty.

"I don't know," I muttered. "I trust Jasper, but I'm terrified to be alone with him, or Edward and Alice, for that matter. But at the same time, I'm scared not to be with them."

He nodded his head, but didn't offer his opinion. I knew he wouldn't. He understood the fear I felt every moment of the day. "Esme hates me," he murmured. My eyes popped open, startled at his words. "She refuses to talk to me, or even look at me." Carlisle lifted his eyes to mine. "I think it's because she did the exams."

Unsure of what to say, I reached over and grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry."

"Did I lead her on?" he choked out. I knew we weren't talking about Esme anymore. With his lips trembling, he held onto my hand tighter. "Maybe I smiled at her, or laughed at something she said."

"I don't know," I replied. "I don't think you did, but maybe I did, too."

"We're being punished," he spat, looking up at me. "For being sinners. For loving those we shouldn't love."

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes when I nodded my head, agreeing with him. "Does this mean we're going to hell?"

"Look around you, Bella. We're already in hell."

Carlisle and I sat in my office for the next few hours, trying to hide away from everyone. After a few minutes, I went over to my desk and booted my computer, checking my emails. After deleting more than three dozen pieces of junk mail, I went through the hundreds of others from clients, both past and present, offering to do what they could for us during our time of need. Bile rose in my throat when I deleted them.

"You know what's ironic, Carlisle," I chuckled, looking over my computer at him. He looked up from the stack of budget reports he was working on. The feeling of deja vu hit me. The last time we sat in my office like this was the night we were taken. My heart ached.

"What's ironic?" he pressed, sounding testy.

I shifted my eyes away from him. "Nothing. Just forget about it."

"No, Bella, I'm sorry. You just got a weird look on your face for a..." Carlisle's words died in his throat, understanding washing over him. "Oh."

"Yeah." I shook my head. "I got emails from Ronald Marks, Aaron Sanders, and Phoebe Watts, all wanting to set up meetings to discuss our business relationships."

Carlisle snorted. "Gee, how generous of them, seeing as they branded us incompetent just a few weeks ago."

"Not us, Carlisle, just me," I muttered, replying to each email with the same response; Thanks, but no thanks. They didn't to come crawling back to us, just because they felt guilt or were intrigued in finding out the true stories.

Every once in a while I'd feel someone stop outside of my office door. When I looked up, I'd see their feet under the crack at the bottom of the door. Not sure how I knew it was Jasper, Edward, or Alice, but I did. Almost as if I could feel them on the other side of the door, pleading with me to let them in. Lord knows, I wanted to.

Lifting my eyes over to Carlisle, I noticed him standing in front of the window, overlooking the city. Standing up, I walked over and laid my head against his shoulder. Sighing, he reached out, slipping his arm around my waist.

"Look at them," he muttered, placing his free hand on the window. "Walking around without a care in the world."

"They're lucky," I whispered. "It used to be like that for us, too."

"Yeah, maybe." Turning away from the window, he moved over to the couch, plopping down. Letting his head back back, he closed his eyes. "Or maybe we were fooling ourselves into believing that we could live our lives anyway we wanted without facing the consequences."

"Are you saying it would have been better if I'd never gotten involved with Edward, Jasper, and Alice?" I could barely get the words out. The pain in my chest just from thinking them crushed me.

Opening his eyes, he looked back at me. "Maybe. I don't know. Or maybe, it would have been better if I'd never brought you into this company in the first place. Then you'd never be in this mess."

With tears swimming in my eyes, I shifted my gaze out the window. "Or, just maybe, I would have been better if Jacob Black had managed to kill me all those years ago."

Carlisle didn't disagree with me. I should be hurt that he thought it would be better if I had died, but I couldn't. Of all the people in my life, he's the only one who knew, who really knew, how I felt. Wiping my tears off my face, I settled back down behind my desk. But instead of going back to the pile of paperwork that had built up in the last two weeks, I found myself looking through pictures of my family.

Mackenzie and Whitley celebrating their fifth birthdays, getting piggyback rides from Edward and Jasper. Pictures of me and Alice late in our pregnancies with the boys, feet propped up on our fathers' laps, hands wrapped around each other's. Our mothers pampering us, while my sister, Kate, Garrett, and Emmett all teased us for being lazy. Carlisle and Esme both told them to stop, insisting that we deserved a little pampering.

Embry and Jared had Jonah, Clayton, and Jocelyn, who couldn't bear to be apart from her big brother, on the swing set, pushing them higher and higher. Their screams and squeals to go higher, faster echoed across the yard. Life seemed so much easier just a year ago; calmer, simpler somehow.

Had I been misleading myself in thinking we could be a regular family, raising our children together? We weren't like conventional families with one mother and one father. Was our lifestyle, the way we loved each other, the root to all of this? Had the way we lived our lives somehow given them the idea that we'd be open to their sick and twisted mind games?

I'd just clicked on one of the pictures from Edison's birth when someone knocked on the door. Shifting my eyes over to Carlisle, I closed out my pictures, pushing away from my desk until my chair hit the wall. Whoever was on the other side knocked again. Standing up, I quickly crossed the room, grabbing onto his outstretched hand.

"Do we open it?" I muttered, when they knocked for a third time.

Carlisle hesitated, "I don't know. It could be a trap."

"So what do we do?" I whispered, squeezing his fingers as tight. "There's no way out of here."

"I don't know," he griped, shifting so that he was in front of me. Sighing, he looked over his shoulder at me. "Okay, you stand behind the door. I'll open it and-"

Another knock on the door. "Bella, open the door. I know you and Carlisle are in there."

"Is that..." I trailed off when Carlisle pushed me back against the wall, walking over to the door. Placing his hand on the knob, he took a deep breath, before flicking the lock and pulling the door open.

"It's about time," groused Jane, pushing her way past him. She looked between the two of us. "You're both quite the mess, aren't you?"

**Thank you for all the reviews, but mostly for all the support. Knowing that you're behind me while I deal with...everything, means a lot to me. And, yes, Jane is there, but the question is, will Carlisle and Bella talk to her? Or will they push her away like they are doing everyone else who cares about them? Remember, the trick with getting help, is wanting it. It's not easy to bare your heart and soul to the people you love, much less someone you don't really know. Big hugs to Kyla and Steph for talking through this chapter, giving me the strength to fight through the doubts. **


	29. Chapter 29

Jane stood with her hands on her hips, judgement etched all over her face. I could see the disgust flashing in her eyes, feel the pity flowing off of her. Tightening my grip on Carlisle's hand, I dug my nails into his flesh, hiding further behind him. Hissing from the pain, Carlisle stepped backward pushing me against the windows, pressing his body against mine defensively.

"I won't let you near her," he growled, bringing his hands back, making a cage around me.

"I'm not here to hurt her, or you," she replied, placing her hands up. "You two need to calm down."

She took a step toward us. I whimpered, "No, please, no, don't hurt us."

Keeping me behind him, Carlisle shushed me, moving against the window until we were in the corner. "It's okay, Bella," he muttered, his eyes never leaving her.

"Why do you think I'm going to hurt you?" wondered Jane, settling down in one of the chairs in front of my desk. She crossed her legs, watching us closely. I wanted to scream at her to leave. I wanted to beg her to stay. I wanted to stop being scared. Her eyes traveled from Carlisle, over his shoulder to where I was peeking. "Bella, you know I'm not going to hurt you."

"I don't know that," I muttered, not entirely sure I was really lying. "Please leave. I want you to leave."

"I can't do that." She frowned. "Your families called me because they're worried about you."

"If they cared at all, they'd just leave us alone," groused Carlisle, shuffling us against the wall until we reached the end of the sofa. Tightening his arms around me, he pulled me off the wall, keeping me tucked against his back, and his eyes on Jane.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" she wondered, gawking at us. My entire body was shaking, and all I wanted was to hide. I began to cry.

"If they cared so fucking much, they would have found us before..." Letting his words die out, Carlisle moved us around the room until we were almost at the door.

"Before?" pushed Jane, standing up and taking a step toward us.

"NO!" I screamed, pushing off of Carlisle and turning to the door. I'd barely taken two steps into the hallway when I ran into Edward, falling to the ground. "NO!"

"Bella!" he exclaimed, reaching for me.

Before he could touch me, Carlisle bustled out of my office, slamming him into the wall. "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HER!" he roared, wrapping his hand around Edward's throat. "You'll never hurt her again, you son of a bitch."

"Carlisle!' cried Alice, grabbing his arm and pulling. Enraged, he jerked his hand back, hitting her across the face. She stumbled back into the wall.

"DAD!" yelled Edward, pushing him away. Jasper had Alice in his arms, examining her face while everyone stared at us. I scrambled to my feet, grabbing Carlisle's hand. Edward looked from me to him, sorrow and grief pouring off of him. "Dad?"

"I..." He shook his head, tears pouring down his face. "I'm sorry."

Tugging on my hand, he dragged me down the hallway, past the people gawking at us. I looked back as we turned the corner, watching Edward holding Alice and Jasper, while talking to Jane. I'd lost them now. There's now way they'd ever want me now, I truly was alone in the world.

)8(

Crushing my fingers in his hand, Carlisle dragged me down the stairs, ignoring the way I was crying out for him to slow down. He threw the door to the lobby open, yanking me through. My shoulder clipped the door frame, and once again, I cried out. Again, Carlisle ignored me.

Stumbling over my own two feet, and trying to sooth the ache in my shoulder, I followed him through the lobby, and outside of the building. Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, Carlisle looked up and down the street, trying to decide the best way for us to go.

"This way," he urged, yanking on my arm.

"You're hurting me," I wailed, but he didn't slow down.

A left, then a right, left again, up two blocks, before turning right. We kept moving, paying no real attention to where we were going, just knowing that we had to find someplace safe. If such a place actually existed, I wasn't so sure. The world seemed to be closing in, suffocating us. Creeping down my spin, a trickle of sweat slipped down my back,

Pulling me down an alley, Carlisle leaned against one of the buildings, gasping for air. Trying to keep my tears silent, I tore my hand out of his, wrapping my arms around my body. Sliding against the wall, I landed on the ground, pulling my knees up in front of me. I wanted to go home. The only problem, I didn't know where my home was anymore.

Kicking off the wall, Carlisle stepped into the middle of the alley, looking around. I could see the frustration written all over his face. Never in all the years I'd known him, had I seen him raise hand against anyone, much less his family. But in a heartbeat, he'd pinned Edward to the wall, and struck Alice. My Alice. I wanted to hate him for touching her, for hurting her, but I couldn't. He was trying to protect me, and I needed him.

"We've gotta go," he muttered, looking down at me. His eyes were hard, cold, and calculating. Reaching down, he gripped my wrist, yanking my arm roughly.

"AH!" I screamed, feeling my shoulder jerk out of the socket. Letting go, I fell back to the ground, cradling my arm against me.

"Oh, Bella," he wailed, falling to his knees in front of me. Placing his hands on my arms, being gentle, he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I keep hurting you."

"I'm okay," I lied, sniffing back my tears, and trying to stifle the throbbing pain in my shoulder. The same shoulder I had injured in the accident that nearly took my life from me. Looking away from him, I shuddered. I should have died then and saved us both.

"Can you move?" He urged, standing back up. "We need to keep moving, or they're going to find us."

"Where are we going?" I let him help me to my feet. His hands shook, however, I pretended not to notice.

"I don't know," he grumbled, looking back at me. "Somewhere that I can keep you safe."

Nodding my head, I kept my injured arm close to my body, while allowing him to lead me down the alleyway. Trash littered the ground, broken liquor bottles, and empty lunch containers. The sun hid behind the high-rises around us, keeping us in the shadows. They wrapped around us. I scooted closer to Carlisle, needing to feel the warmth of his body next to mine.

My shoulder throbbed, the pain radiating down into my forearm, but I never said anything to Carlisle. First, I knew he'd worry and fret about hurting me. Second, I was already slowing us down enough without drawing attention to the fact that my arm hurt. Third, as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, if he thought of me as dead weight, he'd leave me for the wolves. The thought of being alone right now scared me more than anything. All I had in this moment was Carlisle, and the ghosts haunting my mind.

A loud bang echoed down the alley. I clamped my mouth shut, stopping the scream sitting on the tip of my tongue. Reaching up and gripping my upper arm in his hand, Carlisle pulled me behind a dumpster, crouching down to the ground. My entire body trembled, tears welled up in my eyes.

"Are you sure you heard someone down here?" I heard someone ask, a man with a deep baritone voice.

"I thought I did," replied a second man. His voice wasn't as deep as the first, but still sent a tremor of fear through me. "Maybe it was my imagination."

"Probably," snorted the first man. "Let's get back to the search. It's gonna get dark soon."

"Poor fuckers, going ape shit like that," muttered the second man.

"From what I hear, they are both a little fucked up," laughed the first man.

The sounds of their boots hitting the ground while they walked back down the alley, hung in the air. Somehow, I knew they spoke of me and Carlisle. Keeping my eyes trained on the ground, I bit back the hurt, knowing they were right. We were freaks. We'd made decisions in our lives to love people we shouldn't have loved, to go against what society told us was right and we paid the price for our disobedience. My heart ached in my chest, I really was a whore.

"I think it's safe," whispered Carlisle. I looked up at him, tears filling my eyes and my lips trembling. "Bella, I'll take care of you."

"We deserved everything we got," I wept, blinking quickly. The tears sprinkled down my face, but I couldn't find it inside myself to care. "You know that, don't you?"

He shook his head, but looked away. I knew he agreed with me, even if he'd never admit it to me. While Carlisle and Esme had made the choice to pursue their relationship with William and Catherine, the truth was clear as day. If I hadn't pushed for them to follow their hearts, if I hadn't insisted that Alice and I could make a go with it with Edward and Jasper, none of this would have happened. I damned Carlisle to hell because I was a selfish whore.

"We should go," he mumbled, refusing to meet my eyes.

Allowing him to help me back up to my feet, I followed him down the alley, but paid no real attention to where we went, or how we got there. My feet hurt and my shoulder throbbed, I welcomed the pain as my payment for causing everyone so much grief and trouble. I only made a small dent in the debt I owed for everything I've done, to both my lovers and the rest of my family. I would burn.

The sun dropped lower into the sky, until it disappeared completely, leaving us walking in the dark. The barely lit streets were abandoned, with the exception of the homeless people who came out at night, trying to find a safe spot to dwell. Inwardly, I laughed, nowhere was safe. Outwardly, I stayed next to Carlisle, one hand wrapped tight around his fingers, my injured arm tucked into my body.

My legs burned, my head hurt, and my heart broke knowing I couldn't go back home, not now. Too late for me to make amends to the people who once loved me. I couldn't doubt that they once loved me, their touches proved as much, but too many times, I'd torn a hole in the delicate fabric of our lives, there would be no way I could repair the damage we'd caused. A fresh round of silent sobs rocked through my chest.

"It's okay, Bella," soothed Carlisle, squeezing my hand, but never looking at me. "I'll figure out what to do."

"Leave me," I whispered, slipping my hand out of his and stopping in the middle of the street. Spinning around, he gaped at me, anguish pouring off of him.

"No," he exclaimed, reaching for me again. I stepped away. "Bella, no, I am not leaving you. I promised I would kill them, and I will."

"Leave me," I begged, hopelessness echoing around me. "Let me die."

"NO!" he yelled, grabbing my arms.

"AHHHHHH!" I screamed, when he jerked my injured arm again. My knees buckled and I hit the ground hard. "LEAVE ME!"

Dropping to his knees in front of me, he released my arms. "No, Bella, no!"

"Please, leave me," I cried, curling up on the ground.

"I'll never leave you," he insisted, laying down next to me, draping his arm across my waist.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, grabbing his shirt with my good hand. "So sorry for everything I ever did."

"Me too," he whispered, holding me closely.

I'm not sure how long Carlisle and I had been laying in the middle of the street when we heard it; sirens. Springing up to his feet, Carlisle crouched down in front of me, eying the two police cars parked twenty-yards away. As the officers climbed out of their cars, I scrambled to my feet, hiding behind him. Bile rose in my throat.

"Mr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen, we're not going to hurt you," cautioned one of the officers.

I peeked over Carlisle's shoulder, watching at the four uniformed men approached with their hands up. Darting my eyes around, I looked for an escape route, but with the attention of the two cop cars, we'd drawn a crowd around us. Unsure of what to do next, I began to weep harder, terror running rampant through me.

"We've been looking for you two for hours," explained one of the other officers. "Your families are worried about you."

I flinched at the mention of our families. I wanted them to love me again, to hold me, and make the pain stop, but I didn't deserve for it to end. Turning, I ran away from them. However, I'd barely taken a handful of steps when one of the officers threw his arms around me, holding me against his body. Screaming, I tried to break his grip from around me, but he was too strong for me.

"Let her go, you son of a bitch," raged Carlisle, fighting his own battle with two of the officers.

"Sir, calm down before we have to restrain you," bellowed one of the officer's.

His threat caused Carlisle to fight harder. "LET ME GO!" he shouted, throwing his head back and hitting the guy in the nose.

Cursing, he released Carlisle. Scrambling away from him, he managed to make half the distance to me before the other two officers had him on the ground and handcuffs slapped around his wrist. Sobbing uncontrollably, Carlisle stopped fighting, preparing to take whatever abuse they were going to give him.

Without Carlisle's help, I knew I couldn't fight off all four men. Letting my body go limp, I wept while the officer dragged me to his police car, placing me in the backseat. Curling up in a ball, I watched through my tangled hair as they dragged Carlisle back, placing him in the seat next to me. I scooted over, wrapping my one good arm around his body, and laying my head on his shoulder. Together, we grieved.

We sat in the back of the squad car for several minutes before two of the officers climbed into the front and drove off, including the one Carlisle had headbutted. While neither men spoke, they both looked back at us several times, pity oozing off of them. Bile rose in my throat once again. They were going to hurt us, too. I could see it in their eyes.

After what felt like hours, they pulled up in front of the emergency room at the hospital where Esme worked. Silently, they climbed out of the car, pulling open the back doors. One of the officers grabbed me, while the other dragged Carlisle out. I wanted to wrap myself in his embrace, but I couldn't. Tears ran rampant down my cheeks while they pulled our limb bodies into the ER.

"Oh, my God." Snapping my head up, I saw Esme standing at the nurse's desk with William, Catherine, Edward, Jasper, and Alice. She took a step toward us, but stopped when we both cringed away from her. She shouldn't have to see us like this, none of them should. "Take them to twelve," she ordered, thickly.

Peeking through my lashes when we walked by, I saw the bruise forming on Alice's cheek, darkening under her eye. I wanted to hold her, to love her, to kiss her, but I couldn't. I'd hurt her enough for one lifetime. The officers removed the handcuffs from around Carlisle's wrists, before leaving us alone in exam room twelve. The click of the lock reverberated throughout the small room. Carlisle leaned against the wall, sliding to the floor with his legs bent up in front of him. Watching his shoulders shake, I dropped to my knees and crawled over to him, laying my head on his knees, wishing he'd just left me to die back in that room.

**Thank you for all the reviews. My heart is broken now, these two just keep twisting that knife. I know it's hard, but they have to work this out and forcing Jane upon them didn't help, no matter how much I wanted her to make everything okay for these two.**


	30. Chapter 30

Carlisle and I sat on the floor for what felt like hours, sitting as close as we could, neither of us speaking a single word. There wasn't anything for us to say, our actions had spoken louder than any words we'd ever be able to express. We'd drawn a line in the sand, but instead of allowing them to pick a side, we built a brick wall between us and them, making it impossible for them to stand next to us and fight. We didn't deserve them.

The click of the lock being turned echoed throughout the room. While we both tensed, neither of us made an effort to move, knowing it wouldn't matter who was on the other side of the door. They'd hurt us, abuse us, leave us for dead, it wouldn't matter. Not anymore, not since we'd already lost everyone we loved.

The door swung open and Esme came in with Jane and a woman with long, blond hair and bright blue eyes. The three of them spotted Carlisle and I on the floor, sharing a look between each other before closing the door behind them. Shifting my eyes away, I tightened my arm around myself, trying to stifle my wince as pain soared through my body. I deserved the pain.

"Why don't you get off the floor and have a seat on the bed?" suggested Jane, gesturing to the small, white bed.

Neither Carlisle nor I moved. Jane sighed, grabbing a chair and pulled it over in front of us, crossing her legs as she sat down. Esme and the other doctor leaned against the wall, waiting for Jane to provide us with some miracle cure.

"Tell me what happened today." She wasn't asking, she was demanding. Still neither of us said anything. Crossing her arms in front of her, she waited. "I can do this all night long."

I tore my eyes away from hers, looking outside the window. The night was full of bright stars, sparkling like diamonds in the sky. Outside of the small bubble that wrapped around us, the world moved on, forgetting about those of us who cried out in the dark. Those of us who sought refuge from the horrors that haunted us.

They'd go to bed tonight without having to worry about the monsters creeping up around them. They'd get to make love to their partners, or tuck their children into bed without being scared to hug them. I wanted my life back, but I didn't deserve to be happy. I'd brought all of this onto me and Carlisle. One day, he'd leave me, too.

"Bella," called Jane. I shifted my eyes over to her. "Where did you go just now?"

I shrugged my shoulders. She sighed, looking back at Esme and the other woman, before facing us again. I could tell she was frustrated with us, or mainly me. Jane had been instrumental in pulling me out of the depression that nearly caused me to spiral out of control after I got my memory back. Shaking my head slightly, I blinked back a fresh round of tears. Hadn't I paid enough for my sins?

Of course, I hadn't, not even close. I'd lived in the illusion that I could have everything, or everyone, that I wanted, but I'd been selfish. People like me didn't deserve happiness. I'd been a greedy whore to want Alice, Edward, and Jasper. All my life I'd been told how you couldn't love more than one person. Maybe, and my chest hurt to even think this, but just maybe, they were right.

"Why did you run this afternoon?" Jane asked, calmly. Shifting my eyes back up to hers, I noticed her staring down at Carlisle. He had his knees pulled up to his chest, arms tucked inside, and his head down. Leaning over, I laid my head on his shoulder. "Carlisle, Bella, one of you needs to answer my question."

"We don't want talk to you," came the words tumbling out of his mouth. Each word was laced with hurt and anger. Pulling one arm out, he reached down, taking my hand in his, weaving our fingers together.

"Then who do you want to talk with?" she wondered. Again we didn't say anything. "Are you going to talk to Edward, Alice, and Jasper, Bella?"

I flinched. I wanted to talk to them, but I couldn't. The moment they heard what I had done, they'd throw me away for good. "Bella, I asked you a question," she pushed. I stared her. Sighing, she shifted her attention over to him. "Carlisle, are you going to talk to Esme, William, or Catherine?"

Lifting his head, he caught Esme's eyes. With a subtle shake of his head, he answered her. Esme brought her hand up to her mouth, trying to stop the strangle sob that slipped out anyways. The woman next to her, reaching up, placing her hand on Esme's shoulder. Growling, Carlisle was on his feet, yelling, "Get your fucking hand off of her," and leaping across the room before we could blink.

However, in his moment of hastiness, he forgot he had my hand in his and when he moved, he jerked on my injured arm, causing me to scream, "AHHH!"

Time slowed down when I jerked my hand from his, crumbling over on my side. Freezing in the middle of the room, Carlisle stopped, looking down at me with nothing, but pure terror covering his face. "Oh, fuck, Bella, I'm sorry," he cried, dropping to his knees and crawling over to me. "Please, be okay."

"Carlisle," I wailed, reaching for him. "Make the pain stop. You promised to keep me safe."

"I'm trying," he wept, wrapping his body around mine. "Everything I do just makes it worse."

"Bella, honey," started Esme. Looking around Carlisle, I watched as she stepped away from the wall, taking two steps toward us. "Can I look at your arm?"

"It's fine," I lied, pulling it tighter against my body.

She frowned, and I felt guilty for hurting her. "I can tell that it's not okay, honey. May I please examine your arm? It's the same one you hurt in the accident, isn't it?"

I shifted my eyes from Esme, to the woman behind her, over to Jane, and finally onto Carlisle. "Should I trust her?" I whispered, directing my question to him.

"She won't hurt you," he muttered. "It's not you she hates anymore."

"Carlisle, I don't hate you," she insisted, reaching for him, but dropping her hand when he flinched.

Ignoring her, he stood up and lifted me to my feet, keeping his body snuggled up to mine. "I won't leave you until you want me to," he muttered, ignoring Esme's pleas.

"Never," I breathed, just loud enough for him to hear.

Knowing I had to let her examine my arm, I allowed Carlisle to help me on the bed. Esme stepped over to us, reaching out to pat his arm, but when he flinched again, she let her arm fall to her side. His behavior and attitude were hurting her. While I understood why she felt hurt, I knew how Carlisle felt. She, like everyone else, hated us for being weak. We were just too selfish to let them go.

Without a word, Esme reached out and took hold of my arm. She must have felt me quivering, even if she chose not to mention it. Carlisle moved behind me, sitting on the other side of the bed and placed his hand on my hip. Reaching down with my good arm, I gripped his hand and pulled it around, wrapping him around my waist. For a brief moment, I almost felt safe.

Esme lifted my arm just a few degrees, stopping when my lips parted and an ear-shattering scream echoed throughout the room. "I'm sorry," she whispered, each word coming out thick. "I need to take an x-ray to make sure you didn't tear your growth plate."

"I didn't," I whimpered, knowing an x-ray meant I'd be all by myself. I couldn't be alone, he'd find me and take me back into hell. Clenching my fists, I shifted my eyes around the room, looking for anywhere to hide, only to stop when I got to the woman. "Who are you?"

"Irina," she replied, like I should have known.

Turning my eyes back to Esme, I murmured, "I want her to leave."

"She can't," gritted Esme, pressing on the top of my shoulder. "She has to make sure you're not a danger to yourself, or your family," explained Esme.

My eyes flew open, I looked back over at her. "You're a goddamn shrink, aren't you?"

"No, I'm a social worker, assigned to you and Mr. Cullen by the police department after your...episode." Carlisle snorted, burying his face in my hair. "Mr. Cullen, you're lucky you aren't sitting in a jail cell right now after you attacked that officer."

"I didn't attack anybody," he grumbled.

"You broke his nose when you hit him with your head," she retorted.

"Last time I checked, I hadn't broken any laws and there was no justifiable reason to place those...things on me." He shuddered, I tightened my grip on his hand.

"The last time I checked, striking another person was against the law," she spat, glaring at us.

"I didn't hit anyone," hissed Carlisle, digging his fingers into my stomach. I clamped my lips together, stopping myself from crying out. She would see, and if she did, she'd take him away from me. I couldn't let her get to him, not again.

"The bruise you left on Alice Cullen's face would suggest otherwise," exclaimed Irina. We both shuddered this time, him from this guilt from striking her, and mine from not protecting her.

"Get out," ordered Esme, turning to her. "Alice refused to press charges, making it clear that Carlisle didn't hurt her on purpose. I've indulged you enough, Irina, but they've been through quite enough for one night."

"Hmm, perhaps," she snipped, pulling open the door. "Or perhaps, they've milked their situation enough. After all, people like you get what you deserve for the choices you make."

Slamming the door shut behind her, the room became silent. Allowing my tears to travel down my face, and onto my soot covered blouse, I knew she was right. We were nothing more than dirty whores, deserving every ounce of pain inflicted onto us. If only Jacob had killed me on the steps of that library all those years ago, I would have saved everyone the heartache I brought into our lives.

"I'm gonna go deal with her," sneered Jane. "You take care of them, Esme."

Jane walked out before Esme could reply to her, letting the door close with an echoing click. Releasing my arm, she stepped away from the bed, bringing her hand up to her chest. She shifted her gaze between the two of us, letting them rest on his arm that still was wrapped tightly around my waist. Facing the sink, I noticed her shoulders sag when she reached up and pulled down a paper towel, wetting it under the cool water.

"Here." Esme's words were garbled when she held the wet towel out to me. I took it from her, but didn't bother using it. "I'll just go get your x-ray ordered."

Watching her walk over to the door, I heard the words tumble out between my lips before they registered in my mind, "So that's it." She stopped, but didn't turn around. "Giving up on us when we need you the most."

"Do you?" she whimpered, facing us with tears sliding down her cheeks. "Do you really need us? Any of us?" Letting her eyes rest on his arm around me, she shook her head. "You slept with her, didn't you?"

"What?" I gasped, while Carlisle cringed against me. I didn't take it personal, I knew I was disgusting.

"Did you?" she pleaded, desperation flowing off of her. My eyes fluttered shut at the realization that even Esme thought I was a whore.

"You're absurd," snapped Carlisle, though he removed his arm from my waist. "Why don't you go make yourself useful, and fix her arm."

Hurt sprang up in Esme's eyes, and I found myself feeling sorry for her. She never deserved for us to be so hateful and rude. But instead of scolding Carlisle, I found myself just sitting there, watching as she turned and left our room, locking the door behind her. Sighing, he stood up and walked over to the window, resting both his hands on the glass. His knuckles were covered with scrapes, and dirt.

"Can you believe she asked us that?" he groused.

"No," I answered, placing the wet paper towel on the bed next to me. "Why didn't you tell her we hadn't done anything like that?"

"I shouldn't have to," he muttered, looking over his shoulder at me. "We've been married for thirty-five years, Bella. She should know that I'd never fuck around on her." He turned back to the window. "Not willingly at least."

"You're right," I whispered, cradling my arm against me. The pain had dulled, but the throbbing had increased.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." Sighing, Carlisle walked around the bed, standing in front of me. He picked up the paper towel off the bed and began cleaning my face. "But I keep doing it."

"It was an accident," I lied, wanting to believe my own words.

He snorted. "You lie for shit, Bella."

"You didn't do it on purpose, Carlisle, I know that," I insisted, fisting the front of his shirt with my good hand.

Covering my hand with his, he leaned his forehead down onto mine. "I just got so scared." His words were raw and vulnerable. "All I could think was that we had to keep running."

"Me too." I heard the same fears lacing my words, as well.

Carlisle stepped away from me when we heard the door being unlocked. I let my hand drop onto my lap, feeling like the world was closing in around me. The door opened and Esme stepped in with a wheelchair and Edward behind her. He looked from me to his father, before dropping his eyes to the floor. I wanted to scream at him to look at me, beg him to still want me, but I didn't. Instead, I sat on the side of the bed and let my tears fall silently.

"Bella," gritted Esme, "Edward will take you down to x-ray with one of the nurses so we can get your shoulder checked, if that's okay."

I shifted my eyes up to Carlisle, needing his approval to go with him. With a small nod, he gave me the answer I needed so I tightened my arm next to my body and climbed off the bed. I tried to stifle the whimper, but it slipped out between my lips anyway. Limping over to the chair, I sat down, pulling my feet up. Edward turned the chair around, pushing me out of the room. Looking over my shoulder, the door closed with Carlisle and Esme staring each other down.

The nurse, whose name tag read Carla, stood out in the hallway, arms folded in front of her. With a quick glance down at me, she turned and led the way down the hall. Edward never said a word while he followed her, taking a left then a right. She stopped in front a set of double doors, looking down at me. I saw the pity and disgust she felt for me.

"Mr. Cullen, you can wait out here," she expressed, with a tight smile. "Patients only inside."

Before I had the chance to protest, Edward beat me to it. "Bullshit," he spat. "Dr. Cullen told you that I was allowed to be in there with her as long as I stayed in the booth."

Sighing in defeat, Carla threw me a dirty look and opened the door, gesturing for us to go inside. Edward stepped in front of me, offering me a single hand. My lips trembled as I placed my good hand in his, allowing him to help me to my feet. His fingers tightened around my hand when we walked into the room. Carla muttered something about waiting in the hallway and shut the door behind us.

I tried to be still while the tech took my x-rays, but all I could think of was how alone I felt in the large, dark room. In the booth, the tech, who told me her name was Kathy, assured me that I was doing great, and to relax. When she was done, Edward rushed back out to my side, taking my hand in his once again. He helped me back into the chair, informing Carla that he'd get me back to my room on his own, but never once said a word to me.

When we got back to the room, I expected to see Carlisle waiting for me, but the room was empty. Scrambling out of the chair, I looked around, feeling my tears begin to build again. Had she gotten to him again? Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I stifled my scream the best I could.

"He went home," explained Edward. I looked back at him. He's followed me into the room, shutting the door behind him.

"Home?" I whispered.

"Yes, Bella, home with William and Catherine," seethed Edward, his annoyance evident. "They'll take care of him."

I nodded, turning from him. He was right, they would take care of him, but my heart still pounded in my chest. Moving over to the window overlooking the street, I watched the cars zoom past without a care in the world. I wanted that freedom again. To be able to just enjoy life without being scared all the time.

"Where are Jasper and Alice?" I asked, softly.

"In the waiting room," replied Edward. "Alice wasn't sure you'd want her in here."

"Why wouldn't I?" I wondered, facing him. "I love her."

"Do you?" he scoffed.

I flinched. "Yes," I cried. "I love you, Jasper, and Alice more than anything. You know this, Edward."

"I thought I did," he muttered, falling into the black plastic chair. "But the Bella we love would never have ran away from us after he hit her." I flinched again, turning back to the window. "Did you sleep with him?"

Closing my eyes, I leaned against the glass. "I can't believe you're asking me that."

"What else am I supposed to think, Bella?" he quipped. "You and Carlisle can't seem to spend more than a few hours away from each other, you're always holding hands or touching somehow. Did they force you have sex with my father when they took you?"

"No," I yelled, clenching my fist. "No, Edward, No!"

Before he could say anything else, the door opened and Esme came back in, carrying a small stack of films. Looking between us, she put up the first of the films, flicking a switch and lighting them up. "The good news is that you didn't tear your growth plate, with means no surgery," she began, ignoring the growing tension between me and Edward. "But you dislocated your shoulder and pulled several ligaments, so I'm going to put your arm in a brace. I want to see you in a week to redo the x-rays."

"Okay, Mom," answered Edward, finally tearing his eyes away from mine. "Anything else we need to do?"

"Ibuprofen for the pain and swelling, but if it gets to hurting too much, I can prescribe something a little stronger. Alternate heat and cold, limit the use of that arm for the next few days," she rambled on, avoiding looking at me at all cost.

"Esme," I whispered. I noticed her shoulders tense, but she didn't look over at me. "I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Me either," she mumbled, walking out of my room.

Esme came back a few minutes later with a black brace and my discharge papers. Wordlessly, she fitted the brace on my shoulder, trying to be gentle and keeping the tears from falling. I wanted to take her hand, but I didn't. I wanted to promise her that nothing happened between me and Carlisle, but I couldn't. Every time I opened my mouth to speak to her, the words would die out in my throat. When she was done, she handed Edward my papers and left. The one person who had accepted us from the moment Alice and I moved to Los Angeles had turned her back on me.

Edward held my hand while I climbed off the bed, but let go the moment my feet hit the ground. I followed him through the hallway, past the stares and whispers, straight to the waiting room. Jasper and Alice sat in the back corner, bodies leaning toward each other, hands gripping each others in quiet desperation. Feeling us standing there, they snapped their eyes up to mine, pain pouring off of them both. My heart cracked a little more.

"Let's go home," muttered Edward when they reached us.

The ride home was quiet and awkward. The only exception being when Jasper called Charlotte to check in on the kids, explaining that everything was okay. He sat in the back seat with me while Alice sat in the front next to Edward. Pulling my knees up, I allowed my tears to fall down my face, wishing I'd been strong enough to keep my family together. Regardless of the sins I'd committed, I couldn't let them go.

Edward pulled up in the driveway, cutting the engine and climbing out. He rushed around, helping Alice out of the van before sliding open the door to the back. Holding his hand out to me, he allowed a single tear to travel down his face. Reaching out, I took his hand, letting him help me out. Laying my head on his chest, I cried, wrapping my arm around his body, and grabbing the back of his shirt.

"I'm sorry I'm not stronger," I sobbed.

"You are strong, beautiful," whispered Jasper, wrapping his arms around me and Edward. "We just want you to let us in, to give us the chance to help you."

"You'll leave me if I tell you everything," I wept. "You'll hate me."

"We'll never hate you, or leave you, my sweet Bella," murmured Alice, slipping into our embrace and laying her head on Edward's chest. Releasing Edward's shirt, I brought my hand up, brushing the bruise forming on her face. "This is nothing, don't worry about it," she insisted.

"I let him hurt you," I croaked, pulling my hand away. Alice snapped her hand up, catching mine and placing it back on her face. "Ali."

"You didn't let anyone hurt me, and he didn't mean to," she murmured, pressing her lips against my palm. "You both were scared, we know."

"Doesn't excuse what I've done," I groused, trying to wiggle out of their embraces, but they tightened their arms around me.

"Bella, you've done nothing," Jasper tried reassuring me. "We need you to talk to us."

"I can't," I begged them to understand. "I need more time, please, just a little more time."

"Okay, love," whispered Edward, pressing his forehead down on the top of mine. "We'll give you what you need, but you have to promise us that you're not going to run like that again. Bella, we need you."

"I promise." As the words left my mouth, I prayed I'd be able to be true to them.

"Okay, let's get to bed, it's been a long day," suggested Jasper.

Keeping his arm around me, Edward lead us into the house, and up to our bedroom. Alice ran into the bathroom coming back a few minutes later with a warm washcloth. I sat on the edge of the bed while she washed my face, arms, and legs, being tender and loving. More than I deserved. Once I was somewhat clean, Jasper and Edward helped me removed my clothes, grimacing at the sores covering my feet from running in my heels all day, and helping me put in one of Edward's t-shirts and a pair of Jasper's sweatpants.

Crawling into bed, I rolled over onto my side to keep the pressure off my injured arm. Alice climbed next to me, laying so that she was facing me, while Edward and Jasper snuggled up behind us. Draping their arms over me, they held me, pretending not to notice the tears sliding down my face, or the way my body flinched from their touches. With a whispered, "I love you," coming from all of them, they drifted off into a peaceful sleep, while I, once again, fought for my life.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I started this chapter three days ago, and fought against letting myself dive headfirst into the pit of darkness I needed to truly do this chapter the justice it needed. **

**So I have another huge favor to ask. The last round of voting has opened over on TWCS for their Romance Original Series Contest, and my second story, What Should Have Been, is up. If you'd take a few minutes and go vote for me, I'd appreciate it so much. **

**Looking for a new book to read, check out Mocked by Faith by Michele Richard available through TWCS publishing house, which also sells ebooks for Nook and the Kindle, and should be up on Amazon soon. It's an amazing story or love, faith, and heartbreak. I was lucky enough to read it early and write a review for it, which can be found inside the front cover. **

**Also, nominations for The Tomato Stand Soup Awards, presented by The Tomato Stand, are still open for a few days more. If you haven't gotten your noms in yet, better hurry! www(.)thetomatosoupaward(.)blogspot(.)com. **


	31. Chapter 31

_"Baby, dance with me," cooed Edward, slipping his arms around my waist. Around us the sounds of the kids laughing, squealing over the fireworks that were lighting up the night. _

_I blushed, turning and placing my hands on his chest. "Okay," I breathed._

_Sliding my hands up, I locked them around his neck, shivering when he tightened his arms around me. "Cold, love?"_

_Shaking my head, I whispered, "I'm perfect."_

_Resting my head on his chest, I looked over and saw Alice sitting in Jasper's lap, face pressed into the side of his neck, his hands resting on her ass. It always brought a smile to my face, seeing the two of them together, feeling the love they shared with us. She turned to look at me, but instead of Alice siting on Jasper's lap, it was Kayla on Carlisle's legs._

_"NO!" I screamed, pulling away from Edward. However, he grabbed my arms, yanking me back. Snapping my head over to him, I saw Demetri holding me. "NO! GET OFF OF ME!"_

_"Come on, baby," he sneered, dragging me through the yard toward the house. "Let's go dance."_

_"No, stop it," I cried, trying to free myself. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Kayla grinding herself down on Carlisle's lap. His arms were stretched out and he sobbed, trying to break his arms free. "Carlisle, help me, please!"_

_"You're my whore now," seethed Demetri, pulling me further away. _

"NO!" I screamed, moving to scramble off the bed.

Before I could get away, Edward reached out, wrapping his arms around me. "Shh, Bella, it's okay, I've got you."

"Don't let me go," I cried, digging my nails into his arm. "Please, don't let me go!"

"Never," he vowed.

Spinning in his arms, I crushed my lips to his, feeling my teeth press into his flesh. I needed to feel him love me. For him to take the ugly touches away and replace them with good touches. Moving, I straddled his hips, grinding myself against him. Tearing my mouth from his, I moved down to his neck, kissing and sucking my way down to his collarbone.

Edward went to wrap his arms around me, but I grabbed them, pinning them above his head with one hand. Separating my lips, I bit down on his skin. "FUCK, BELLA!" he yelped, fighting against me.

While he could have easily pushed me off of him, he didn't. Moving my mouth lower, I tasted his skin under my tongue. Ripping his shirt off, I threw it on the floor, before attacking his chest. Reaching for the waistband of his pants, I froze when he grabbed my hand. Looking up at him, I tugged my hand out of his, dipping it inside the soft flannel.

"Bella, don't," he muttered, trying to stop me from releasing him from his pants.

Ignoring him, I pulled him out, stroking him roughly. Before he could protest, I engulfed his semi-hard cock in my mouth. He groaned, pushing my head away, but I continued sucking him to full hardness. Without thinking, I released him, shrugging off the pants and panties I was wearing. Straddling his lap, I lowered myself down on him, clenching my eyes shut when he filled me. Whimpering, I placed my hand on his chest. Cradling my hurt arm to my chest, I felt my tears sliding down my face as I took Edward back into my body.

"Bella, stop," groaned Edward, placing his hands on my hips. Curving my fingers down, I dug my nails into his chest. "FUCK, BELLA!"

Ignoring his protests, I quickened my pace on him, pushing my nails in even more. Jasper crawled across the bed, trying to pull me off of Edward. Throwing my hand up, I grabbed the back of his head, threading my fingers into his honey blond hair. Yanking hard, I pulled his head back, panting heavily. A new round of tears fell down my face when I slammed my mouth against his, biting his lips.

Letting go of his hair, I snaked my hand into his pants, gripping his hardening cock while thrusting my tongue into his mouth. Ripping his lips from mine, he dropped his head onto my shoulder, tensing up. "Bella," he moaned, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. "Stop, please, stop."

"Love me, Jas," I whimpered, tightening my grip around him.

"I do love you," he insisted, looking up at me. I stroked him harder. "Beautiful, you need to stop."

"Love me, Jas," I begged.

Alice moved across the bed, wrapping her arms around me. "Baby, stop."

_"Oh, baby, I knew your pussy would feel so good," grunted Demetri. Clenching my eyes shut, I tried not to scream, feeling him forcing himself on me again. "Look at me, you fucking whore."_

Snapping my eyes open, I struggled to break free of the arms wrapped around me. "No, no, no," I cried, tugging my hand out of Jasper's pants and throwing my elbow back.

Alice groaned and let go of me. I scrambled off the bed, falling onto the floor. Looking back at them, my eyes widened and bile crept up my throat. Edward laid on his back, pants and underwear around his thighs, while Alice rubbed her ribs, and Jasper stared at me with horror and disgust. Slamming my hand over my mouth, I sprang up and ran into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time. Sobbing, I gripped the side of the seat in my free hand and tried to push the guilt away. How could I have done that to Edward? To Jasper or Alice?

"Bella?" whispered Edward, pushing open the door to the bathroom. Turning away from him, I pulled my knees up. "Look at me."

"I can't," I muttered, closing my eyes.

Feeling his hand slide onto mine, I looked over, finding him sitting next to me. He reached over, wiping my tears away. I flinched away from him. He shouldn't want to touch me after what I had just done to him. Slipping into the bathroom behind him, Jasper kept one arm around Alice, both of them watching me with disgust. Just one more way that I was fucked up.

"Tell us what happened," he murmured, and I knew he wasn't talking about what had just transpired in our bedroom. He..., no, they wanted to know everything.

Shaking my head, I buried my face in my knees, but before I realized it, my lips parted and the words tumbled out, "They had me tied to a chair." Sliding my hand up, I tugged at my hair, remembering every detail. "I tried to get free, but the ropes were too tight. We were too weak to do anything, I guess."

I closed my eyes. "I tried to fight him, but he was stronger than me," shuddering, "so I stopped."

"You stopped fighting?" Alice pulled away from Jasper, joining us on the floor. I nodded, clenching my fists. "You did what you had to do, Bella."

"No, I should have been stronger," I cried. "I gave up and let him...let him..." I shook my head, unable to continue.

"Rape you," breathed Jasper. I lifted my eyes to him, watching him slide to the floor next to the door. "Demetri raped you."

It wasn't a question, but I nodded my reply to him anyway. Jasper took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. I shifted my eyes away from him, away from Edward and Alice. "He broke me."

"We're trying to fix you." Reaching out, Alice covered my clenched fist. I flinched again. "But you have to let us."

"You shouldn't try to fix me," I whispered, "or want me."

"Bella, we love you," she insisted, tightening her hold on me. "We always have, that will never change."

I shook my head, knowing the words were a lie. There was no way they'd still want me, not like they had before. I'd ruined any chance of that when I allowed Demetri to take my body for his pleasure. Tugging my knees closer to my chest, I closed my eyes. "I want to shower."

"Bella-"

"Please, I need to shower," I gritted, clenching my jaw tight.

"Guys, go," murmured Alice. I opened my eyes, finding hers full of pity. "I've got her. Go make us some breakfast."

Though reluctant, Edward and Jasper left us alone in the bathroom. She didn't say anything when she stood up and started the water. Offering me her hand, I let her help me to my feet, sucking my bottom lip in between my teeth. I wanted nothing more than to hold her, beg her to always love me, but I didn't deserve her. I never had.

Unclasping my shoulder brace, she helped me remove it, ignoring the whimper that slipped out. Reaching for the bottom of my t-shirt, she lifted her eyes to mine, pulling the hem up slowly. Tearing my gaze from hers, I allowed her to remove my shirt, leaving me naked in front of her. Stepping back from me, Alice removed her nightgown and panties.

Reaching back out, she took my hand again, opening the door to the shower. My body trembled when I stepped in behind her. Pulling the door closed behind me, Alice moved her hand to the back of my head, tilting it under the water.

"I know what you're doing." She grabbed my favorite bottle of shampoo, Japanese Cherry Blossom, and squirted some into the palm of her hand. Working the lather through my hair, she continued, "You did the same thing to me after Jacob," I flinched, "attacked you."

Titling my head back once more, she rinsed the shampoo from my hair. "You pushed me away, always talking about how you didn't deserve me."

"I didn't," I whispered, closing my eyes. "I still don't."

"You're lying to yourself," she sang, picking up my conditioner and adding it to my hair. "Well, maybe your screwed up mind believes that you've done something to make us not love you anymore, but you'd be wrong."

I didn't know what to say to her. Rinsing the conditioner from my hair, she grabbed my poof, pouring on my body soap. Starting at my shoulders, she gently washed my arms, before moving to the rest of my body. Tears slipped down my face when she moved over my breasts.

"Do you want me to stop?" Placing her fingers under my chin, she lifted my head so she could look in my eyes. "I'll stop if you want me to."

"Don't," I whimpered. "Don't stop loving me."

"Never," she breathed, stepping closer. "We'll never stop loving you, Bella."

Once she had rinsed the soap off of me, she turned off the water and grabbed me a towel, wrapping it around my body for me. Drying off her own body, she pushed open the door to the shower, leading me out into out bedroom. Tossing me a pair of panties, she began rummaging through the closest.

Turning back to me with one of Jasper's work shirts, she smiled. "Do you need help putting those on?"

Looking at the white cotton panties in my hand, I frowned. "No."

"Are you sure?" she purred, crossing the room and laying the shirt on the bed. Reaching up and stroking my cheek, she added, "I'd more than happy to help."

Shaking my head, I stepped away from her. "I can do it."

"Okay," she sighed, dropping her hand. "Would you like to wear one of Jasper's shirts?"

"Do you think he'll mind?" I murmured.

"Of course he won't," she giggled. "You know how much he loves it when we wear his clothes."

Nodding, I sat down on the side of the bed, trying to get my panties on with my one good arm. My injured shoulder throbbed. After a minute of struggling, I managed to get both my feet into the panties and shimmied them up. I'd never felt so helpless before, but even though Alice had offered to help, I'd already relied on them too much. I couldn't keep being so weak.

Standing up, I reached for Jasper's shirt, but Alice beat me to it. She stepped up behind me, helping me put it on. With a smile, she moved so that she was standing in front of me and starting buttoning the shirt.

"Why are you doing this?" I found myself asking before I realized the words were out of my mouth.

"Because you can't do it by yourself," she replied, moving onto the next button. I covered her hands with mine, feeling her wedding rings under my fingers.

"But why are you doing this?" I repeated. "I've hurt you."

"No, the fear hurt me." Sighing, she twisted her hand up to cover mine. "Are you still in love with me, Bella? In love with Jasper and Edward?"

"Yes," I cried. "I love all of you so much, but-"

Placing her finger over my lips, she interrupted me, "Then that's all that matters. It won't be easy, or fun, but we're going to get through this together, like a family."

"How can you be so sure?" I whispered against her finger.

Alice smiled. "Because I know how strong you are, Bella. I've seen you fight for your life more times that I should have to, and each time you came back to us stronger."

"I don't want to hurt." I closed my eyes, allowing a tear to fall down my face. "Tell me how to make it stop hurting."

"I wish I could," her smile faded, "but I can't. You have to figure out how to get the pain to stop, and you do that by talking to us, to Jane. Fuck, talk to anyone!"

"I do," I argued. "I talk to Carlisle." Shifting her eyes away from mine, she took a deep breath. Clearly, her sympathy didn't reach all the way to him. "He's not the bad guy."

"I know he's not," she muttered, dropping her hands from my shirt.

"But," I pushed, knowing she was holding back. Shaking her head, she turned and walked into the bathroom, coming back out with my shoulder brace. "Alice, but?"

"Bella, he can't help you," she replied, lifting her eyes to mine.

"And you can," I snarled, causing her to flinch. "He understands."

Her eyes hardened. "Does he? I mean, does he really? Or are you picking him over us?"

"Do I have to pick?" I gasped.

"We don't want you to have to, honey," she grumbled. "I don't blame Carlisle for anything that's happened. He's hurting, too, but he's not in any position to do anything for you. He needs to help himself first."

"You don't understand," I groused.

"Then make me understand," she pleaded with me.

Shaking my head, I turned from her, unable to find the words explain what he'd done for me, but I knew I had to try. I couldn't let Carlisle take the fall for anything we'd done, not when he was the only person who really understood what had happened in that house. Sighing, I sat down on the side of the bed.

"He tried to fight against her, but she threatened to kill me," I cried. "So he let her tie him to the bed. He let her..." I trailed off, unable to get the word out. "He didn't deserve to go through any of that."

"No, he didn't," Alice agreed, sitting next to me. "But neither did you."

"Didn't I?" I wept.

"No, Bella, you did nothing to deserve what that monster did to you," she exclaimed. Reaching over, she took my hand in hers. "All you've ever done is love with your whole heart."

"Maybe that's my sin, loving more than I'm allowed," I grumbled.

"Love is never a sin, baby," she whispered. I flinched at the term of endearment she used. "Sorry, I forgot. It's just what we always called you."

"He called me that," I whispered.

"I'll try to remember," Alice murmured, leaning in and kissing my cheek. "Now, we'd better get downstairs before those men of ours get worried."

Even though I was terrified to face them, knowing they had to be furious with me, I found myself agreeing with her. Alice helped me put my brace back on and we headed downstairs. Slipping her hand into mine, she led me into the kitchen, where we found Edward and Jasper standing in front of the stove, frying bacon. Looking back at us, their eyes traveled from me to Alice, and back to me, before they turned back to the food.

"Just in time," chuckled Jasper, but it came out strangled and thick.

Edward dropped the last two slices of bacon onto the plate, before carrying it over to the table. Never looking up at me, he poured us all a cup of coffee and sat down. Tugging on my hand, Alice encouraged me to sit down. I slid into the seat across from him while Jasper sat in the chair next to him and Alice sat next to me.

Jasper pushed some eggs, bacon, and toast onto a plate, passing it across to me. "Here you go, beautiful."

"Thanks," I whispered, picking up my fork.

Making plates for him, Alice, and Edward, they began eating in silence. I merely pushed my food around my plate, unable to lift the fork up to my mouth. Knowing that I'd abused my husbands weighed heavily on me. How could I have done that to them?

"Are you going to eat?" I lifted my eyes to Edward. I wasn't sure what to say to him. His tone made it clear that he hated me. I couldn't blame him, not after what I'd done. "It's going to get cold."

Dropping my eyes to my plate, I swallowed thickly. "I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat something," said Jasper, reaching across the table and picking up a slice of bacon off my plate. "Here," he murmured, offering it to me.

I shook my head, sighing, "My stomach hurts."

"Because you haven't eaten," he chirped, pushing the bacon toward me. I turned away. "Beautiful, please, eat for me." Huffing, I reached for the bacon, but he smiled and pulled it away. "Open."

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I did as he requested. Popping the bacon into my mouth, he smiled and leaned back. "Good, right?"

I tried to smile, but knew it didn't come off right. "Yes," I lied. It wasn't that it tasted bad, but right now, nothing tasted good.

"Eat more," he encouraged, nudging my plate closer.

Sighing, I picked up my fork and scooped up some eggs, trying hard to swallow them. Pushing his chair back from the table, Edward picked up his plate and walked out of the kitchen, clearly upset with me. Closing my eyes, I laid my fork back down. Alice pushed her chair back, but Jasper stopped her, "Bella, go to him."

"He doesn't want me," I muttered.

"Yes, he does, now get your ass out there and talk to him," he ordered. "And take your food with you. You need to eat."

Knowing better than to argue with him, I pushed my chair away from the table and picked up my plate. Heading out into the living room, I found Edward sitting at this piano. His plate was sitting on top, and he was staring at the ivory keys. Setting my plate next to his, I sat on the bench next to him. However, I had no idea what to say. Apparently, seeing as he starting playing, neither did he. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I listened to him play, watched his fingers moving gracefully. I'd always enjoyed watching him at his piano. He was amazing.

"Do you still love me?" Dropping his hands in his lap, he looked over at me. "Do you love Alice and Jasper? The kids?"

"Yes," I whispered.

He rain his hand over his face, through his hair. "Are you leaving us?"

I inhaled, sharply. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," he exclaimed, turning toward me. "Bella, God, I love you so much. I always have, but it feels like you've already got one foot out the door!"

I flinched. "I don't know what to do to make everything okay," I gritted. "Every fucking moment of every fucking day hurts. Tell me how to make it better, Edward. Please, tell me!"

"Talk to me," he pleaded, leaning his forehead against mine. A tear slipped down his face, falling onto my shoulder. "I miss you so much."

"I'm right here," I whispered, sliding my hand up and over his.

"No, you're still back there with them." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry we couldn't keep you safe," he cried.

"Me too," I sobbed, tightening my grip on his hand.

"You have to start seeing Jane again." Bringing his free hand up to my cheek, he brushed my tears away, ignoring his own. "You can't do this on your own, and my dad can't help you, either. He has to get his own help, Bella."

"I need him," I whimpered. "He promised to kill them."

"What?" gasped Edward, leaning back.

"After..." I took a deep breath. "He said he'd kill them. He promised me. That's all he's been doing."

"They're already dead, Bella," Edward muttered.

I shook my head. "No, they're not." I shivered. "They're inside our heads. Always there."

"Was he in your dream this morning?" he asked, cryptically. I tensed and shuddered. "Bella, was he?"

"Yes," I breathed. "He took me away from you."

"We're right here," he insisted. "He can't take us away from you, only you can push us away."

"How can you still want me after what I did?" I groused, turning from him.

Placing his hand on my chin, he turned my face back to his. "Because I love you," he murmured. "I know you were scared this morning, but you have to talk to us. We need to help you."

"I'm so sorry," I cried, throwing my good arm around him and holding onto him. "Please, I am so fucking sorry!"

"Shhh," he soothed, pulling me into his lap. Burying my face in the side of his neck, I held on as tight as I could, silently begging him to never let me go. Fisting my shirt in his hands, he pressed his lips to the side of my head.

"Everything okay out here?" asked Jasper. Sniffing back my tears, I looked back toward the kitchen, finding him and Alice standing in the doorway. With his arms wrapped around her waist, he shifted his eyes from Edward to me. "You didn't eat, did you?"

Smiling, I shook my head. "Sorry."

"Bella," he groaned, leaning his forehead against the top of Alice's head. "What are we going to do with you?"

"Just love me," I whispered.

Lifting his eyes to mine, he replied. "We do. We always will."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry for the delay, but this chapter started off on a very difficult path. Once I got about a third through the chapter, I had to put it away for a few days. So thank you for being patient with me. Bella made some steps this chapter, even if they are tiny.**


	32. Chapter 32

Closing my eyes, I turned my face up, begging the fervid water to wash away my fears. Today, after days of fretting, I was going to go see Jane. Just the thought of sitting in front of her scared me, add in trying to actually talk and I had to fight to keep the bile from slipping between my lips. I needed help, that I couldn't deny, but I wasn't sure I could go through it all again. Wasn't it bad enough I'd spent everyday locked away inside my nightmares?

"Bella, honey, did you drown?" At the sound of Alice's voice, I leaned away from the water.

"No," I replied, not sure if the simple word was the truth or a lie. Maybe I hadn't literally drowned, but my soul felt submerged from the fear weighing over me.

"Rose and Kate will be here soon to pick up the kids."

"I'm almost done," I murmured, taking a deep breath.

"Okay, hurry, the girls have already asked at least a dozen times when you will be down." Alice shut the door to the bathroom, leaving me alone once again. Turning my face back to the water, I struggled to hold my tears inside. If I didn't take this step, I'd lose them all for good. I couldn't let that happen, not now, not again.

Shutting the water off, I reached out and grabbed a towel, wrapping it snugly around my body. Pulling the curtain back, I stepped out of the shower, wiping away the condensation from the mirror over the sink. Inwardly, I cringed from the person looking back at me. That wasn't the Bella I'd once known. I didn't recognize her at all.

It went beyond the dull, brown eyes, or the bags that hung under them from lack of sleep; even though, those eyes once shined brightly, sparkling with self-confidence No, the person reflecting back at me was one full of anger and hate, both at the people who dragged her away from everything she knew, and at the person who was too weak to stop them. The old me should have been stronger, tougher. I shouldn't have let them break me, but they did.

Closing my eyes, I turned away from the mirror, picking up my toothbrush and moving on with my morning routine, the only part of my life that I could control right now. Heading into our bedroom, I looked over to make sure the door had been shut. Alice knew how important my privacy was to me, especially now.

Pulling a pair of panties and bra out of my underwear drawer, I tossed them onto the bed, before moving to the closet. My eyes automatically shifted over to my work clothes; dark power suits, sexy yet professional. I'd once felt comfortable wearing them, knowing that the people who worked for me respected me, but now, I don't have their respect. Maybe I never did.

Reaching out, I pulled one of Edward's work shirts off the plastic hanger, knowing I'd need to feel him. Grabbing a pair of jeans, I placed them both on the bed, slipping the towel from around me. Catching my reflection in the mirror, I was horrified to see my hip bones poking out, my ribs pressing into my pale skin. I'd lost too much weight. I'd have to do better, for my family I'd have to try and do better.

Tossing the towel in the wicker hamper, I stepped into the simple white cotton panties, pulling them up over my hips. Adding a matching bra, I sat on the edge of the bed while putting Edward's shirt on. Lifting the collar to my nose, I felt my tears pricking the corners of my eyes. I could smell Alice and Jasper mixed in with Edward. While they held me every night, often having to hold me down and stopping me from hurting myself, I hadn't felt the comfort of their love in days. I missed us, who we were.

The doorknob to our room creaked, causing me to look up as the door swung open. Stepping into the room, Edward smiled. "Hey."

"Hi," I murmured, letting my eyes drift down to my fingers. I fumbled over the buttons, while reminding myself to breath.

Crossing the room, he knelt in front of me, gently pushing my hands out of the way. "Let me do that." My words were stuck in my throat, struggling to fight against the overwhelming feelings welling inside my heart. Moving to the next button, Edward looked up at me. "I know you're scared."

I nodded, releasing a shaky breath. "More like terrified." I brought my hands up to cover his. "I don't think I can do this."

"You can," he whispered, bringing our hands up to my face. "You are so much stronger than you think you are. We're with you every step of the way, Bella."

"Do you promise?" I begged, having asked him this same question at least a dozen times over the passing days.

"We promise," he responded. "Jasper, Alice, and I are right here with you. Forever, remember?"

Turning my mouth into his hand, I began to weep, hoping and praying they'd always be here. Edward let me cry, slipping his arm around my waist and cradling me against his chest. Even though I'd hurt him days ago, he never pushed me away, always welcoming me back in his arms. Just one more example of how I didn't deserve him.

"Come on," he murmured, brushing the tears off my face. "The girls are waiting."

Nodding, I allowed him to finish buttoning my shirt, or his shirt actually, before I grabbed my jeans and put them on. Slipping my feet into a pair of black flip flops, I took the hand he offered me, trying to calm my breathing and let him lead me downstairs. I hated that the fear I felt being around my children. I loved them more than anything, but I'd risked their lives, their innocence. They shouldn't want to be around me.

Sitting on the edge of the sofa, Whitley and Mackenzie had their backpacks in their laps. As I stepped off the bottom step, they turned to me, beautiful smiles curving upwards on their faces. Dumping their backpacks onto the floor, they ran over to me, jumping into my arms. I didn't remember making the decision to open them. Perhaps, my body knew what I needed more than my heart did.

"Mommy, you took forever," grumbled Whitley, laying her head on my shoulder. "Rosie and Kate said we had to leave soon."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, shifting my eyes over to my sister and Kate. "I didn't realize how late it was getting."

"It's okay, Mommy." Mackenzie shrugged her tiny shoulders. "Are you going to be home tonight?"

"Um..." I shifted my eyes to Edward.

"Of course, Mommy will be home tonight," he chuckled, though it sounded tight. "But you're going to go home after school with Jared, okay? So, I want you to be extra good for him."

"Okay, Daddy, we'll be good." sighed Mackenzie. I almost smiled. She made it out to seem like he was asking the impossible. My girls were good girls, they didn't need to be reminded.

"Come on, girls, we've got to hustle if we're going to get to school on time." Rose shifted Edison from one hip to the other. Catching my eye, she smiled. "We'll take good care of them."

I nodded, unable to get the words out of my mouth. I trusted Rose and Kate to take care of my children, I just didn't want them to have to. They were mine, or ours rather. Instead of us working together to make sure they always had someone here, my lovers had to depend on everyone else and all because of me. Shifting my eyes away, I tried to stifle the guilt I felt for ruining everything.

Leaning up, the girls both kissed my cheeks before jumping out of my arms and running back over to the sofa for their backpacks. Following them to the door, I watched while Rose and Kate got everyone loaded into our van, making sure everyone's seat belts were fastened. They climbed into the front seats and took off, taking a huge part of my heart with them. I wanted cry.

"Beautiful, come eat before we need to go." Jasper slipped his hand under the shirt I was wearing, resting it on my hip. I started to protest, but he stopped me with a look. "I'm not asking."

Closing my eyes, I sighed, "Fine."

Sliding his arm around my back, he turned us and lead me into the kitchen, with Alice and Edward following. I sat down, resisting the urge to pull my knees up and protect myself. It was a reflex I'd have to work not doing. They'd never hurt me, I knew this. Alice sat in the seat next to mine, reaching over and grabbing my hand while Edward helped Jasper make me some breakfast.

Placing his hand on Jasper's back, Edward leaned around him, grabbing the pomegranate jam I loved. Smiling, Jasper leaned into him, brushing his lips across Edward's. Catching my eye, Jasper blushed, turning back to the grapefruit he was cutting up. It always amazed me how far they'd come since the first time we met them. Shifting my gaze over to Alice, I knew they'd always have to same bond we had, our first loves.

"Here we go," Jasper murmured, sliding a plate with two pieces of toast and half a grapefruit in front of me. "Want some coffee?"

I shook my head, knowing my stomach was already on the verge of purging anything I attempted to swallow. Choosing to sit in the chair next to me, he smiled and picked up a piece of toast, holding up to my mouth. "Come on, Beautiful, it's really good."

"I can feed myself," I said, trying to take the toast from him. Shaking his head, he pulled his hand back. I couldn't help, but smile. "Jas!"

"Nope, open," he ordered, winking at me. Rolling my eyes, I opened my mouth, taking a small bite. "See, good, right?"

"Yeah, it's delicious," I murmured, taking it out of his hand.

I took a small nibble, ignoring the way his eyes narrowed at me. Edward had cleaned the kitchen, before taking the seat on the other side of Alice. With his arm around the back of her chair, she snuggled into him. Shifting my eyes down to my plate, I set my toast down, before picking up a piece of grapefruit. I could feel them watching me, and even though it made me uncomfortable, I didn't say anything. One false move and I'd lose them forever.

"Did you get those reports submitted for me?" I asked, thinking about the budget reports they'd brought home for me to work on. I hadn't been able to get myself to back to the office. Going back there would mean everyone would stare, I couldn't have them staring at me. Jasper and Edward had taken over the day to day running of the company while bringing me home the majority of the paper work. At least that way I didn't feel completely worthless.

"Yes, just in time," replied Edward. "But we aren't talking about work right now, Bella. Today's about you."

"I know," I whispered, dropping my hands in my lap. "Have you talked to Carlisle?"

Jasper leaned away from me, and just like that the tension in the room increased. I shouldn't have asked about him, knowing how sensitive they were about he and I being anywhere close to each other. I hadn't seen or spoken to him since that night at the hospital, not for a lack of trying, either. A part of me knew they didn't believe that we hadn't had sex when we were gone. Bringing my hand up to my lips, I blinked back my tears. They didn't understand that Carlisle was the only person who understood what I felt.

"No," answered Alice, a few moments later. "Esme promised that he would be okay, though, honey."

"Yeah, I know," I whimpered, titling my my head to the side and wiping a tear off on the collar of my shirt. Pushing my chair back, I stood up. "I've gotta go to the bathroom."

Rushing out of the room before they could respond, I struggled to keep the tears at bay until I was locked safely inside the small guest bathroom. Leaning against the door, I slide to the floor. Reaching up, I grabbed the coral hand towel and brought it to my lips, trying to muffle my scream as much as I could. They didn't understand anything.

"Bella," called Alice, knocking on the bathroom door. "Bella, let me in."

"I'll be out in a minute," I choked out, gripping the towel tighter.

"Isabella, open the fucking door and let me in," she demanded, messing with the doorknob. Closing my eyes, I scrambled to my feet and unlocked the door, moving back so she could come in. She shut the door behind her and sighed when she noticed the tears falling down my face. "Bella."

"I'm fine," I lied, sitting on the toilet.

"You're not fine." Moving over, she tugged the towel from my hands, wetting it some cool water. Washing away the tears, she knelt down in front of me. "We talked about why you and Carlisle can't see each other right now."

"I know," I muttered.

"He needs help, too, and he can't get it if he's worried about taking care of you."

"I know, Alice," I groused, turning my face away from her.

Gently, she reached up, pulling my face back toward her. "You miss him."

"I worry about him," I mumbled, biting on my bottom lip.

"I talked to Esme this morning. She said he had a rough night, but he's doing okay."

"If could just talk to him, I could..." My words died out when Alice stood up. "Alice-"

"No," she grumbled, taking a deep breath.

"But-"

"No, Bella," she said, firmly.

Clinching my jaw together, I pushed past her, throwing the door open. Jasper and Edward leaned against the wall, waiting for Alice to make everything all better. "Fine, Alice, whatever you say. Just one more person ignoring what I want."

Wrapping my arms around my body, I walked past them, leaving them to stare after me. Throwing open the front door, I slipped out of the house, rushing down to Alice's car and climbing into the backseat. Pulling my knees up, I curled up in the seat, facing the door. A few moments later, I heard them climb in.

"We understand that you're worried about him, Bella," started Jasper, placing his hand on my lower back, "but right now, you need to focus on yourself."

"It doesn't matter," I whispered, closing my eyes. "You don't trust us to make our own decisions."

"The last time we left you and Carlisle to make your own decisions, you two took off together," snipped Edward. I flinched. "We're just asking that you give each other some time and space to heal before you see each other again."

Shaking my head, my tears swelled up in my eyes. "No, you're asking us to give up on each other. You'll never understand what he did for me, what he gave up. Never."

Starting the car, Edward muttered something under his breath, but I couldn't make it out. Keeping my back toward Jasper, I watched the scenery fly past us. Inside those houses, the people living there went on with their lives like nothing ever happened a month ago. Newspapers sat on their front porches, their trash had been set on the curb for pick-up, everyday normal things. I envied their ability to be carefree. Turning my head toward the seat of the car, I sighed. Once upon a time, I'd also been carefree.

Twenty minutes later, Edward parked Alice's car in front of Jane's office. I'd become all too familiar with her small, brick building after my accident. At the time, I thought the hardest thing I'd ever have to do was let go of my anger toward the man who nearly killed me, robbing me of months of my life. Now, that seemed like a piece of cake compared to what I had to do now. And, whether I wanted to or not, I had to take this step in order to keep my family together, or so I was telling myself.

Cutting the engine, Edward and Alice turned and looked back at me. Biting my bottom lip, I reached out, tracing the outline of the door handle. My chest heaved, the air becoming thicker and harder to pull into my lungs. Closing my eyes, I wrapped my fingers around the handle and pulled, swinging the door open. Nearly falling out, I pressed my body against the side of the car, letting the door close beside me.

Jasper, Alice, and Edward scrambled out after me, rushing around to me. Edward reached for me, I shuffled away from him. If I was going to do this, I had to do it alone. Balling my hands into fists, I pushed away from the car and started for the front of the building, each step harder the one before. Behind me, I could hear Alice, Edward, and Jasper following, trying to support me even though I constantly pushed them away.

Stopping outside the large door, I took a shaky breath, trying to will my fingers to uncoil and wrap around the iron handle. Slipping one arm around my waist, Edward reached around me, opening the door for me. "It's okay to ask for help."

"Then why won't you let me talk to Carlisle?" I muttered, pulling out of his embrace. "He could help me, but you won't let him."

"He can't help you, until he helps himself," groused Edward, pain swimming in his eyes. "I love my father, Bella, but right now, he can't help you."

"And you can?" I hissed. "Remember how you promised to keep me safe? That they'd never get to me?" Jasper, Alice, and Edward flinched. "Yeah, so much for helping."

Wrapping my arms back around my body, I stepped through the open door, regretting the words the moment they slipped out between my lips. I didn't blame them for any of this, the only person to blame here was me. I'd caused more trouble for those I loved the most, chalking up one more in the sins I'd committed.

Settling down in one of the arm chairs, I tucked my knees up in front of me, wrapping my arms around them. Edward, Jasper, and Alice came in, choosing to sit around me. Before we could more than take a breath, the door to Jane's office opened, and she stepped out, giving me a tentative smile.

"Bella," she said.

Sliding my feet off the edge of the chair, I stood up, walking past her. Exhaling a sharp breath, I looked around her office, noting that not a damn thing had changed in the four years since I'd been here. With brightly colored paintings hanging on the wall, her office was supposed to put one at ease, make it easier for them to relax and let all their inner demons out. Shaking my head, I settled on her dark brown leather sofa. Nothing would make this any easier, not even scented candles.

"Well, I can't say I'm not surprised when I saw your name in my appointment book," she chirped, settling into the wing-back chair across from me.

Leaning back, I folded my arms in front of me, once against resisting the urge to tuck myself into a ball. Crossing her legs, she rested her yellow memo pad on her leg, drumming her nails on the arm of her chair. "You remember how I run our sessions, don't you, Bella?"

"I do," I whispered, sliding one of my hands up my arm, grabbing onto the collar of Edward's shirt.

"Good." She smiled. "So, tell me why you decided to come in." I shrugged my shoulders. "You must have had a reason."

"I..." I shook my head. "I don't know. I guess, I just got tired."

"Tired of what?"

"Of everything," I mumbled. "Tired of crying, tired of trying."

"Why do you cry?" she asked.

Unable to stop myself, I kicked off my flip flops and pulled my legs up in front of me. "I'm hurting them," I murmured. "All I wanted when..." I paused, taking a deep breath. "All I wanted when I was gone was for them to hold me."

"But." She lifted her eyebrow at me.

"They shouldn't want to hold me," I barely whispered. "Not after what I did."

"What did you do?" I shifted nervously on the sofa. "Bella, what did you do?"

I huffed. "I didn't fight."

"So?"

"So, I didn't fight for them." I could feel myself getting angry. "I let him hurt me."

"You didn't let anything happen," she said, shaking her head. "Bella, you didn't do anything, but survive."

"Did I?" I quipped, dropping my eyes to my toes.

"You're here, aren't you?" she pointed out.

"I guess," I muttered.

"Bella, crying is a natural emotion. It's how we express ourselves. You shouldn't be ashamed to feel."

"You don't understand." Sighing, I brought my nail to my lips, chewing on the tip. "It's more than crying." I closed my eyes. "I need to be with them, to feel them against me, but at the same time, I can barely breathe when they are holding me."

"Do you think they are going to hurt you?" she asked, making a note on her pad.

"No, I know they won't hurt me," I replied. "I think if they knew, I mean really knew what happened, that they'd leave me."

"Did Alice leave you when Jacob Black attacked you?"

"No," I said.

"Did Edward and Jasper leave you when Alex attacked you and nearly killed you?"  
"No," I admitted. "But that was different."

"How?" she challenged.

"Because Alex didn't..." I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "I stopped him."

"You mean, he didn't rape you like Demetri Romanov did?" Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "Bella, look at me." Brushing the tears off my cheek, I opened my eyes. "You did nothing wrong. Just because you weren't able to stop him, doesn't make anything that happened your fault."

"Why did he come after me?" I sobbed. "Why me?"

"I don't know, Bella. I wish I had that answer for you," she murmured, moving over to sofa and taking my hand.

"I want my life back," I wept. "To be the Bella everyone loved and respected again. I don't who I am now."

"There is nothing wrong with who you are," she soothed, handing me a tissue. "They haven't stopped loving you, or respecting you. They're scared, too. They need you to tell them how to help you. When you're scared, you have to tell talk to them, tell them what scares you."

"What if they get tired of listening?" I whispered. "I need them so much."

Jane smiled. "Then I'll kick their ass." I chuckled. "Bella, they've proved more than once that they aren't going to give up on you. They wouldn't have called me if they didn't love you."

Just like that any sense of peace vanished. I frowned, dropping my eyes from hers. "They won't let me talk to Carlisle."

"I know," she replied. Snapping my gaze back to hers, my mouth fell open. "Don't look at me like that."

"It was you, wasn't it?" I snapped. "You told them to keep him away from me!"

"I did," she admitted. "Do you know why?"

"Apparently, I rely on him too much," I groused, shaking my head.

"No," she said. "Well, yes, but it's more than that. Carlisle's had a major mental breakdown, Bella. He needs more than you can give him right now." Blinking back my tears, I tried to disagree with her, but she held a hand up to stop me. "He saw his role in your life to be like a father, to nurture and protect you. Even before you and Alice got involved with Edward and Jasper, he saw himself like a father to you. He couldn't save you from Demetri, no matter how hard he tried."

"That's not his fault," I spat.

"I know it's not, but he doesn't see that, Bella. He sees that he allowed Demetri to hurt you, to rape you. Now, you add on his attack on Alice, the way he treated Edward in your office that day, and he doesn't know who he is anymore. Can you honestly sit there and tell me that he can be any help to you?"

"He killed them for me," I whimpered. "He told me to leave him there, to save myself. He would have let them kill him if that meant saving me."

"I know," she murmured. "He loves you, Bella. Let him heal, just like you're trying to do."

Bringing my hand up to my forehead, I brushed my hair out of my face, knowing she was right. "Okay."

"I know it's hard, Bella, but you're stronger than you think you are, and so is Carlisle."

"I hope you're right," I muttered.

"Have some faith in yourself and those who love you."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Bella opened up a lot more than I expected her to. **


	33. Chapter 33

Wrapping my arms around my body, I followed Jane over to the door. Alice sat between Jasper and Edward, both of them holding onto her. They looked up at me, smiles spreading over their faces. I wanted to throw myself in their embraces, and beg them to forgive me for being a bitch, but I didn't. Instead, I just stood there, listening to Jane schedule my next handful of appointments for me.

"Okay, Bella," she said, pulling my attention over to her. "I'll see you in a few days. If you need anything, call me. Promise?"

"I promise," I murmured, hoping the vow sounded truthful.

Turning toward Edward, she smiled. "Take care of her."

"We always do," he responded, his eyes locked on me. My cheeks heated under his gaze. He was right; they always took care of me, even when I didn't deserve them. "Come on, love."

Lifting my eyes, I noticed he stood with his hand stretched out to me. My own trembled as I reached out to take his offering. His fingers wrapped around mine, gently tugging me toward him. Tears filled eyes as I stepped toward him, but I fought them off. Laying my palm on his chest, I nestled myself against him. It felt normal to be with him.

Slipping his arm around my waist, we followed Jasper and Alice out of the office and to the parking lot. Jasper opened the door for Alice, who leaned up on her toes to kiss him. He smiled against her lips, his arm holding her against him.

"I could watch them like this all day," whispered Edward, brushing his lips across my ear. "The way they say so much with just their eyes."

Nodding, I whispered, "They're beautiful."

"You're beautiful." Biting on my lip, I smiled. Edward moaned. "That gets me every time."

"Are you two coming?" Jasper laughed, pulling our attention to him.

"Yep." Edward dug into his pocket and pulled out the keys, tossing them to Jasper. "You drive. I'll sit in the back with Bella."

Jasper shifted his eyes down to me, his smile growing before nodding his agreement. Taking a deep breath, I climbed into the backseat with Edward shadowing me. Jasper ran around to the driver's seat and slid in. Looking back at me in the rear view mirror, he winked. I blushed. My silly boys.

I didn't notice where Jasper took us. Edward had his hand covering mine, his eyes peering down on me. It took all I had not to fidget in my seat, or scream at him to stop. I didn't want him to, but at the same time, I felt uncomfortable with his attention. After what felt like forever, Jasper pulled the car up into a parking lot. Looking around, I was shocked to find that he'd brought us to our Chinese Restaurant.

Shifting my eyes up to him, I asked, "What are we doing here?"

"Lunch," was all he said before climbing out.

Alice and Edward followed, leaving me sitting there. Pushing open my door, I climbed out of the car. We hadn't been here in so long. Edward slipped his hand into mine. When we walked inside, the hostess looked over at us, a wide smile spreading over her face. Grabbing us some menus, she led us toward the back, but Jasper stopped her.

"We'd like that booth, please." He gestured toward our usual booth.

Nodding her head, she motioned for us to take it. Edward and I sat on one side, while he and Alice slid into the other side. Knowing what we wanted, we ordered our lunch, thanking her when she came back with our drinks. When she left again, an awkward silence fell over us. I could tell they were curious about how my session with Jane went. I couldn't tell them. I didn't even know myself.

"You're being quiet," Jasper said.

Lifting my eyes up to him, I frowned. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize, beautiful, you've done nothing wrong." I wanted to disagree with him, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. They'd convinced themselves that I'd done nothing to deserve any of this. I knew the truth.

"Sorry," I repeated, ignoring his aggravated sigh.

"One day, beautiful, you're going to actually believe me," he murmured so soft, I barely heard him. Clearing his throat, he spoke louder, "Today is a nice day, don't you think." I looked up at Jasper, finding him staring at me. "The sun is shining, the birds are singing. It's almost perfect."

"It's too bright," I muttered, dropping my gaze from his. Picking up my forks, I twirled it through my fingers. "It hurts my eyes."

"Maybe we should go buy you some new shades," giggled Alice. I shifted my attention up to her. "Some white ones the size of your face."

"Oh, fuck, I'd forgotten about those," I grumbled, shaking my head. "I can't believe I let you talk me into buying them."

"They were very stylish at the time," she chirped, reaching across the table and brushing a strand of hair out of my face. "But I much prefer to see your beautiful face without anything distracting from it."

I took a deep breath, feeling my skin warm under her touch. "They were hideous and Renee made me get rid of them. She told me they made me look like a tramp."

"They didn't," Alice disagreed. "But that was the old Renee. The new one would love you in them."

"Yeah, maybe," I sighed, looking around. "This place isn't very busy."

"It's early," replied Edward, weaving his fingers in with mine. I turned to him. "We thought it might be easier. Less people and everything."

I nodded, completely understanding. If I was going to freak out, at least there wouldn't be as many people for me to make a fool of myself in front of, or embarrass them. Lifting my thumb to my mouth, I nibbled on my finger nail. I'd already embarrassed them enough.

Edward reached over, tugging my nail out of my mouth. "You don't have much of a nail left."

"Oh, sorry," I murmured.

"Don't be sorry. I just don't want you to hurt yourself." Leaning in, he brushed his lips across my cheek, laying my hand in my lap. "Relax and smile. We're not expecting anything from you."

"I know," I huffed.

Before Edward could respond, our waitress brought our food over, setting each plate in front of us. Picking up my fork, I stared down at the heaping piles of Chicken Cashew and fried rice. I knew I needed to try to eat, but just the thought of trying made my stomach hurt. Feeling them watching me, I speared a piece of chicken on my fork and brought it to my mouth, chewing it thoroughly before swallowing.

"You know, Halloween is coming up soon," Jasper said, popping some broccoli into his mouth. "The girls said something the other day about wanting to be fairies."

"Oh, they'll look so sweet," cooed Alice. "Don't you think so, Bella?"

I nodded, before reaching for my glass of water. "Adorable."

"What do you think the boys should dress up like?" Edward asked, turning toward me.

"Um," I shook my head, "I don't know. Maybe puppy dogs or something."

"We could paint little whiskers on their faces," Alice giggled, nodding with enthusiasm. "They could be different color puppies, too. Like Edison could be like a Dalmatian; you know white with big black spots, and Jackson could be his opposite. So many people already think they are twins, might as well give them what they want, right?"

"Sure," I replied when she looked at me expectantly.

Her smile faded and she looked down at her food. "We don't have to. It was just an idea." "It's fine, Alice," I muttered, feeling guilty for not being more excited about Halloween. "They'll be adorable. Everyone will love it."

"Well, we still have a couple of weeks before we have to decide on anything," she mumbled, pushing a mushroom around her plate. "It was just a thought."

"Yeah," I whispered.

We continued to eat in silence. Well, I did at least. Edward, Jasper, and Alice made idle conversation about the kids, doctor's appointments, school parties, and our families, minus Carlisle of course. Dropping my fork on the table, I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to stifle the panic soaring through my chest. I abandoned him. After everything he'd done for me, I'd thrown him away like he was trash.

"Bella, love, take a deep breath," urged Edward, wrapping his fingers around my wrist and tugging my hands down. It wasn't until then that I realized that I'd been pulling on my hair.

"Move," I gritted, trying to free myself of him.

"Bella—" He started, but clamped his mouth shut when I pushed him out of the booth. Scrambling out of the confined space, I ran toward the restroom. Throwing open the door, it slammed against the wall. I dropped to my knees in front of the first toilet I came to and fought against the bile rising in my throat. My tears sprinkled down my cheeks, dripping into the water like rain drops.

"Oh, honey," sighed Alice, squatting down next to me. Pulling my hair behind me, she brought her a cool rag up to my forehead. "You have to calm down."

I shook my head, trying to tell her to leave me alone, but my hand reached up and grabbed onto her, completely betraying me. "Alice," I wept, leaning against her. "Make it all stop."

"I'm trying," she whispered, leaning her head against mine. "We all are."

After a few deep breaths, I managed to not embarrass myself any further. Allowing Alice to help me to my feet, I kept my eyes ducked away from hers. I washed my hands, going the extra step to splash some cool water on my face.

"Here," she said, offering me a few paper towels.

"Thanks," I muttered, drying my hands and face. "Are they mad?"

"Why do you think they'd be mad?" she asked, placing her fingers under my chin and tilting my head back. "Sweetheart, we're not asking you to give us anything you aren't ready for."

"I know," I whimpered, closing my eyes.

"But." She waited.

I sighed. "But, I don't know what I'm able to give you, and what I'm not. How will I know?"

"You'll listen to your heart, and not that beautiful head of yours." Alice smiled. "Now, are you ready to go back out there?"

"Would it matter if I wasn't?" I regretted the words the moment they trickled out of my mouth.

"Of course it would," insisted Alice, slipping her hands into mine. "All we want is for you to be happy again."

"I want that, too," I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers. "But I don't know how to be happy again."

Alice brought her hand to my face. "You start by smiling." My lips curved upward and my cheeks heated. "See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?"

"It's easy with you," I cooed.

"It's easy with Edward and Jasper, too, remember?" she murmured, stroking my cheek.

"I remember," I whispered.

"Come on, honey." Alice pulled on my hands. "Let us love you. That's all we want to do."

"I'm trying," I groused.

Alice released one of my hands, but kept the other firmly in hers as we made our way out of the restrooms and across the restaurant. Edward and Jasper stood up near the front, a Styrofoam to go box in Jasper's hand. I knew it was my uneaten lunch. He wouldn't give up on trying to get me to eat. Where Alice was our nurturer, Jasper was our caregiver. It was just one of the reasons why I always loved him.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward stepped toward me, slipping his arm around my waist. Alice let go of my hand, leaving me in his arms. Placing my hand on his chest, I leaned into him. Edward was the glue that held us all together.

"Yeah," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he said, kissing my forehead. "Seriously, Bella, you've done nothing wrong."

"You keep saying that, but..." I let my words die out and shook my head. "Can we go home?"

"Sure, let's go." Turning to Alice and Jasper, Edward cleared his throat. "We should go."

We followed them out to the car. Edward and I once again climbed into the backseat. This time, I scooted over, laying my head on his shoulder. My eyes fluttered to a close and I nearly drifted off to sleep. Almost. I didn't trust myself enough to let sleep take me under, knowing that if I did, I might do something I regret.

Broken out of my dazed state, I opened my eyes and noticed we were back at the house. We climbed out of the car and headed inside. I took a step toward the stairs, but stopped when Edward placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Do me a favor," he murmured. "Go to the kitchen and eat your lunch." I started to argue with him that I wasn't hungry, but he placed his finger over my lips, stopping me. "Please eat."

"I'll try," I heard myself whispering.

"Thank you." He sighed, his relief evident. He shifted his eyes over to Alice. "Give us an hour."

"Okay," she replied, avoiding my eyes.

Jasper took Edward's hand, leading him up the stairs. I followed Alice into the kitchen and tried to eat my lunch. She pretended not to be watching me, but I felt her eyes on me. An hour later, Alice took my hand and we headed upstairs. She paused outside of our bedroom, looking back at me. There was a look in her eye that I didn't understand; a mixture of longing and fear.

Before I could question her, she pushed open the door, pulling me into the room. My eyes popped open and my mouth nearly bounced off the floor. Edward and Jasper had transformed our bedroom into a romantic little getaway. On every available surface were lit candles that shimmered. A soft melody played in the background; loud enough to create the mood, but not loud enough to be a distraction.

Panic rose inside of me. They'd planned to seduce us. Alice gripped my hand tighter, stopping me from bolting from the room. "Watch them," she ordered.

"I can't," I huffed, but made no effort to shake off her grip on my hand. I needed her, yearned for her touch.

Angling her body toward mine, she brought her other hand up to my cheek, her fingertips leaving a trail of tingles in their wake. "Trust us."

"I do," I whimpered, covering her hand with mine. "But I don't trust myself. Not anymore."

"Trust us," she repeated, turning my face toward the bed.

Edward stood behind Jasper, peppering his neck with opened mouth kisses. While he was manipulating Jasper's body, both their eyes were locked on me. Sliding his hands in front, he reached for the bottom of Jasper's black t-shirt, slipping it off. Dropping it on the floor, he let his hands roam over Jasper's body, playing with his nipples before moving his hands toward the top of his jeans. My breath hitched when Edward popped the button, dipping his hand inside.

"Oh, fuck," Jasper groaned, letting his head fall back on Edward's shoulder. _Oh, fuck indeed._

Bringing his other hand around, Edward lowered the zipper, pushing Jasper's pants down around his feet. I bit my lip, stifling a moan. Jasper was going commando. Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I watched as he kicked off his pants, covering Edward's hand with his.

"I love the way your hand feels on me." Jasper panted, moving their hands faster. "But you know what I love even more?"

"What's that, love?" Edward turned his lips against his throat, sucking on his tender flesh.

"Watching you suck my cock."

Jasper released Edward's hand, turning so that he stood sideways to us. His long, thick, hard cock hung down between his legs. Placing his hand on Edward's shoulder, he pushed him down on his knees, threading his fingers in his hair. Edward placed his hands on Jasper's hips, wrapping his mouth around the head. Looking at me from the corner of his eye, he took Jasper's cock into his mouth.

"Aren't they beautiful?" Alice released my hand, but slid her arm around my waist.

"Uh huh," I hummed, trying not to focus on how her fingers slipped with ease under my shirt, or rather Edward's shirt.

Moving slowly, she started trailing her fingers up my abdomen. I tried not to think about how she was touching me, how she shouldn't want to be touching me like this, but my mind screamed in protest for me to stop thinking like this. I didn't want her to stop. I needed her to keep touching me, to make me feel wanted again.

"Watch how Edward feasts on Jasper's cock." I shifted my attention to them. Jasper's head had fallen backward, his lips parted, and pleasure etched all over his face. Edward worked him over with his mouth, using his hands to play with his sac.

"I'm close, babe." Jasper fisted the back of Edward's hair, thrusting his cock further down his throat with each roll of his hips. "Are you ready?"

Edward responded with a throaty moan. Alice's fingers slipped into the cup of my bra at the same moment that Jasper let go, filling Edward's mouth. I shivered. The sensation of her touch and watching them sent me reeling. I wanted to be with them, to know that when they touched me it was because they loved me.

I hadn't realized that had Alice unbuttoned my shirt until I felt her slipping it off my shoulders. My instincts told me to cover myself, hide my shame. Alice caught my arms before I could lift them, threading her fingers in with mine. "Nobody is going to hurt you, Bella," she whispered, kissing my shoulder. "I promise."

Letting go of my hands, she brought hers up behind me, unclasping my bra. A whimpered trickled out of my lips. Wrapping her arms around me, she held me up, her palms covering my breasts. "Trust me, Bella," she murmured.

"Ali," I cried.

"Trust me," she nearly pleaded.

"I'm trusting you with my life," I wept.

Letting her arms fall, she reached for the button on my jeans. The air was thick with anticipation. Jasper and Edward had moved to the bed, both of them completely naked now. Edward was on his back, Jasper hovering over him. He trailed kisses down his chest, swirling his tongue around Edward's nipple.

Alice pushed my jeans down my legs. Without realizing what I was doing, I stepped out of them. Placing her hand in mine, she stepped in front of me. Keeping her back to our men, she walked backward, leading me to the bed. I felt my heart start racing, the frantic beat matching each step.

Stopping next to the bed, she let go of my hands, reaching down for the hem of her blouse. Tugging it over her head, she let it drop to the floor before moving down to the top of her jeans. I sucked my bottom lip in, watching as she stripped her clothes off until all she had on was a pair of pale pink, satin panties.

Climbing on the bed, she reached out for me, beckoning me with her eyes. I shifted my gaze behind her to Edward and Jasper, both of whom were watching what I'd do next.

"Look at me," Alice ordered, placing her fingers on my chin and turning my face to her. "It's just you and me. They're doing their thing, and we're doing ours." My lips parted, but the words died out in my throat. Dropping her hand from my face, she reached down and took my hand, giving it a gentle tug. "Me and you."

My legs shook as I climbed onto the bed, laying between her and Edward. Jasper turned his attention back to Edward, causing him to moan when he licked along the underside of Edward's cock. Alice settled between my legs, gripping the sides of my panties. My hips lifted off of the bed on their own, seeking her touch. A tear slid down the side of my face.

"Do you know what I see when I look at you?" she asked. I shook my head, unable to speak through the tears threatening to fall. "You're beautiful."

I whimpered.

"And strong."

I wanted to disagree with her.

"And so sexy."

"Alice," I wept. "Why?"

"Because that's who you are," she whispered, hovering over me. Brushing away my tears with her thumb, she smiled. "You've owned my heart from the moment I met you."

"Why?" I brought my hands to her face, needing to feel for myself that she was really saying those things to me, seeking any hint of dishonesty in her words. I found none.

"You saw the real me," she replied, sliding her hand own my chest, covering my heart. "You never made me feel dirty for craving your touch, for loving you even when I didn't understand that I'd never be able to be happy without you."

"Alice," I gasped when her fingers brushed over my hardened nipple.

"You're my girl." She smiled, allowing her fingers to move lower down my body. "You'll always be my only girl."

"Forever?" My breath hitched when she found my folds.

"You're never getting rid of me," she vowed, pushing a single finger inside of me. My eyes clenched shut, waiting for the panic to fill me. "Look at me, baby." I snapped my eyes open, finding hers full of passion and love. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I panted, arching my hips toward her. She smiled and started thrusting her fingers inside me. Adding one more, she leaned down, capturing my nipple between her lips. I moaned, my fingers seeking her dark hair.

Beside me, Jasper was working his fingers in Edward, preparing to make love to him. Drizzling some more lube on his cock, he placed this tip at Edward's entrance, pushing his legs back. Moving slow, he inched his way in until his hips were flush with the back of Edward's legs.

"Oh, Jesus fuck," groaned Edward, slapping his hand on the bed and searching out mine. Without even thinking, I took hold of his, lifting it up to my lips. He snapped his eyes to mine, desire burning in his green orbs. Shifting my attention away, I clutched onto him, but watched Alice nipping and kissing her way down the front of my body. Jasper started moving inside of Edward; the sound of their bodies slapping against each other echoing through the room.

Lifting her eyes to mine, Alice snaked her tongue out, tasting me for what felt like the first time. Moaning, she closed her eyes and licked her lips. "Mmm, you taste fantastic."

The words tumbled between my lips before I understood what I was saying, "More, please more."

Smirking, she lowered her mouth back down, licking and sucking on every inch of me she could get to. I writhed under her, tangling my hands in the sheets, doing anything I could not to grab the back of her head. While she worked her tongue one me, her fingers sped up, matching the same pace that Jasper was using with Edward. His fingers were wrapped tightly around mine. My body screamed for more, begging for her to never stop.

"Jas!" Edward panted, pulling my attention over to him. He had his other hand wrapped around his cock; his hips were bucking up to meet Jasper's thrusts. "God, baby, I'm so fucking close."

Jasper groaned, digging his fingers into Edward's thighs. "Give it to me."

With a feral growl, Edward pushed his head into his pillow and came all over his hand and chest. Jasper's head fall back, his eyes fluttering as he stilled his hips against Edward's, finding his release inside of him. Jasper slowly pulled out of Edward, leaning down to lick his release off his stomach. Pushing upward, he captured Edward's lips. They were beautiful and exquisite. I envied the carefree way they could be together.

Turning my eyes from them, I looked down at Alice, who watched me while she fucked me with her tongue and fingers. My legs were tingling, shaking from the effort to hold off my orgasm. I was close—very close.

"Alice," I whined, pushing into her.

"Let go, Bella," she pleaded, sucking my clit into her mouth.

I shook my head, struggling to against the urge to give her what she begged me for. "I—I can't."

"You can," murmured Edward, rolling onto his side and bringing his hand up to my face. Jasper snuggled up behind him, draping his arm across his waist. "Can't you see how much she loves you? How much we all love you?"

"Yes," I gasped, digging my feel into the mattress.

"Let go," he whispered. "Let us love you."

My back arched off the bed, the thin stand of control I had snapped. Crying out Alice's name, my body shook under her. She devoured everything I gave her, before leaning up and kissing me. Unlike the few kisses we've shared in the past weeks, this one was full of passion and love, the kiss of lovers.

Breaking her lips from mine, she laid on the bed next to me. Rolling on my side, I ducked my face into her neck, allowing the tears to fall freely. My lovers wrapped their arms around me, holding me, loving me.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the delay in updates, but I had to finish my manuscript for my new book before I could work on any more fics. Deadline came faster than I'd expected. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!**


	34. Chapter 34

Awake before the sun began to rise the next morning, I quietly made my way downstairs. I hadn't really slept, instead finding myself watching my lovers wrapped in each other's arms and enjoying their deep slumber. They'd made me feel beautiful and loved. I didn't deserve them; not their touch nor their love, yet they for whatever reason they still wanted me.

Not bothering with the lights, I bypassed the living room, walked through the kitchen, and into my studio. I hadn't been in there since the morning I'd been brought back home. The paint I'd thrown at the far wall had been cleaned and new cans had been placed where the old ones once sat. More than two dozen blank canvases had been leaned against the wall. Bringing my hand up to cover my lips, I took a shaky breath. Just one more way they'd been trying to show me how much they loved me.

I crossed the room and picked up one of the canvases, placing it on my easel. Sitting on my stool, I propped my feet up on the highest bar and wrapped my arms around my knees. My fingers twitched, the urge to pick up one of my brushes surged through me, but I was scared. Painting had always been a way for me to relax and just let everything go. After the accident that tore my life apart, I'd thrown myself into my art, often spending hours if not days pouring everything I felt into my work. Now, however, the idea of pulling any of it out and displaying it for everyone to see scared the shit out of me.

"Mommy," Whitley called. Looking over my shoulder, I saw her standing in the doorway. She cuddled a brown teddy bear against her chest. It'd been her favorite since I gave it to her on her first birthday. "Sorry, I know I'm not supposed to come in here, but I saw the light on."

"It's okay, sweetie," I murmured, reaching out for her. She scrambled over and climbed into my lap, her body trembling against mine. "What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," she whimpered, resting her head just above my heart. "There was a monster under my bed and he was trying to steal me away. You saved me, but he hurt you."

"Oh, sweetie," I whispered, pressing my lips on the top of her head. "You're safe now."

"So are you," she echoed, playing with my hair. Before I could reply, she looked over at my blank canvas. "What are you going to paint?"

"I don't know," I said, tightening my arms around her. "What do you suggest?"

"Um." She paused to think, sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth. "A beautiful field with lots of pretty flowers. In the middle, there should be two little girls playing and the sun should be shining down on us. I mean, them."

I laughed. "Will you help me?"

Her eyes grew wide and a smile slipped over her lips. "I get paint with you?"

"It was your idea." I smiled and reached around her, picking up a small brush. "Let's start with the flowers. Then we can add the other details."

Whitley nodded her head with excitement.

I handed her the brush, covered her fingers with mine, and dipped the tip into some green paint. Together, we painted on our field, outlining the horizon and adding in the assortment of wildflowers.

Once we had them perfect, we started on the sun, starting with the outline before filling in the middle and rays. While we worked together, Whitley focused all her attention on doing perfect. Next, we moved onto the little girls. Whitley described her and Mackenzie, from their hair color to their favorite outfits.

"Oh, they're so pretty, Mommy," she giggled, looking over her shoulder at me. "They're magical."

"I think you're right." Smiling, I dabbled my brush into some red paint. "Let's add a rainbow."

"Uh huh," she murmured, nodding. Holding her against my body, I lifted our joined hands and started on the first band. "Mommy, do you believe that wishes come true?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I like to think they do, you know if you wish hard enough."

She slipped her hand out from under mine and turned on my lap. "I wish you didn't cry all the time. It makes me sad."

Letting my arm fall to my side, I tried to figure out how to respond to her. However, before I could, someone cleared their throat behind us. We both turned and found Jasper leaning against the door frame, a wry smile on his lips. "Breakfast is ready, Whit. Better hurry before Daddy eats your pancakes."

"Oh no," she panicked, scrambling off my lap and busting past him.

Jasper laughed before turning his eyes back to me. My skin heated under his penetrating gaze. Turning back to our painting, I dipped the tip of my paint brush into the red paint and retouched a small area.

"It's beautiful," he commented. My body tensed when he stepped up behind me, slipping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. "You haven't been in here for a while."

"I know," I whispered, leaning into him.

"Are you okay? After yesterday?"

"I..." My eyes fluttered to a close. "I don't know. There—there are all these feelings inside me. They scare me."

"Tell me about them," he urged, moving so that he stood in front of me. I started to shake my head, but Jasper brought his hands up, cupping my cheeks. "You can trust us."

"It's not about trust, Jas," I said, covering his hands with mine. "You shouldn't have to listen to me blabber on about all this bullshit."

"It's not bullshit, beautiful," he insisted. "We want you to talk to us, to let us help you."

"You are," I cried. "By just being here, you're making me feel safe again."

"You really feel safe with us?"

I nodded. "Safer than I have in weeks."

"That's a start, I guess." He smiled and pulled our hands down between us. "Come eat and don't even think about arguing with me. You're too skinny, beautiful."

"Okay," I agreed, even though my stomach didn't agree with him. "I'll try."

"Do more than try," he murmured, releasing my hands and lifting me off the stool. I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck. "Don't worry, I've got you."

Nuzzling my neck with his lips first, Jasper carried me into the kitchen. Edward and Alice were sitting in front of Jackson and Edison, feeding them small bits of pancakes while the Mackenzie and Whitley were in the chairs on the backside of the table. The girls were stuffing as much food as they could into their mouths. Setting me back on my feet, Jasper kissed me before gently pushing me into an empty chair. I pulled my knees to my chest and looked over to at the boys, smiling when they banged their tiny fists on their trays.

"Here you go," Jasper said, placing a plate in front of me and taking the seat beside mine. Picking up a piece of bacon, he brought it to my lips.

Stifling the urge to roll my eyes, I bit off a piece. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He smirked. "I made it all by myself."

"Um, babe?" Edward pulled his attention away from me. "How can you sit there and lie like that?"

Jasper smiled. "Okay, so maybe you helped."

"Or did it all," he scoffed, winking at me. I smiled, knowing that Edward would never let Jasper near the stove unsupervised. "So, I've been thinking-"

"Uh oh," gasped Mackenzie, letting her fork drop onto her plate. "Somebody save us."

Bringing my hand up to my lips, I covered my smile. Edward's mouth fell open as he looked over at her, pretending to be hurt. "Mack, you wound me."

"Sorry, Daddy," she giggled, pointing to me. "Mommy says that you'll hurt yourself if you think too hard."

Edward looked over at me, cocking an eyebrow. "Oh, does she?"

My eyes flew open and I shook my head frantically. "No, I—I don't."

"Somehow, love, I don't think I believe you." Edward smiled, telling me in his own way that he wasn't mad at me. "Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted." He pretended to glare at Mackenzie, who just laughed at him. "I was thinking that we should go to the beach today."

"YAY!" cheered the girls, jumping out of their seats and putting their plates in the sink before rushing out of the room. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I started nibbling on my nail. The beach would mean a crowd and just the thought of being around that many people scared the shit out of me.

Laughing, Edward shook his head and turned back to me, his smile dropping immediately. "Bella, it's okay." I shook my head, trying to get the words out, but they stuck in my throat. He pushed away from the table, kneeling in front of me. "Love, take a deep breath for me."

I did as he asked. "I—I can't."

"Yes, you can," he insisted, cupping my face in between his hands. "You're beautiful and amazing."

I started to disagree, but he leaned up, pressing his lips against mine. Leaning into him, I moaned, threading my fingers into his hair. It wasn't until I heard the boys babbling that reality came rushing back to me. Tearing my lips his, I pressed my forehead against his, taking a deep breath.

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" I whispered.

"Because one night we were laying in bed with our bodies wrapped around each other and you told me that you were in love with us," he murmured, stroking my cheek.

"Edward," I wept.

"We need you," he said.

My body shook as I cried and I gripped the front of his shirt. "I need you, too. So much more than you'll ever know."

"We know," Jasper replied, wrapping his arms around the two of us. "Let's take the kids to the beach. It'll be fun."

"And you won't leave me?" My words trembled with fear.

"No, we won't," Alice promised, moving so that she sat behind Jasper, draping her arms around him.

Before I could say anything the door to the kitchen opened and my girls came running in, pulling their bathing suits on, or trying to at least. Stopping, they looked from my lovers to me, sadness filling their tiny eyes.

"We're not going to the beach, are we?" Mackenzie asked, disappointment dripping from each word. Guilt soared through me. My babies needed me to do this for them, to show them that we were still a family. Even if I was screwed up.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and let the words tumble out, "Of course we are." Their faces lit up. I pulled myself out of my lovers' embraces and took their hands. "Come on, let's go get ready."

An hour later, we were sitting on the beach. The girls had talked Alice and Jasper into taking them to the edge of the water. Edward was laying on the blanket next to me, entertaining the boys. With my sunglasses pulled over my eyes, I sat next to them, knees pulled up in front of me and searching for any sign of danger.

"Mama," babbled Edison, placing his hands on my knees and pulling himself up. I smiled, taking his hands in mine.

"Hey, big boy," I cooed, earning me a toothless grin. Where the girls had both sprouted their first tooth before their first birthdays, neither of the boys had gotten one yet. "Can you believe he's almost a year old?"

"No, time has gone by too fast," Edward murmured, rolling onto his side so that he faced me. Jackson climbed over him, giggling as he crawled over to me and Edison. "Hey, where you going, buddy?"

"Mama," he garbled, laughing when Edward pulled him away.

Edison left go of my hands, falling back on his bottom and crawling over to Edward, climbing onto his stomach. I wrapped my arms around my legs and watched my boys wrestling with their father. My heart ached over how much of their lives I'd missed. As much as I wanted it blame it all on the monsters that stole my life from me, I knew most of it was my fault. I'd put everything before them; my company, my career, my selfishness.

All they'd asked was for to share my feelings, to tell them why it hurt to breath every morning. Instead of trusting them, I'd locked myself away, grasping onto the hope that they'd love me anyway. They would, but it wasn't fair to them, and I knew this. Bringing my fingers up to my lips, I took a shaky breath.

"They were going to kill us," I whispered. Even though I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward, I knew he'd heard me. I could feel his eyes on me. "When we finally found a way out of that house, we went looking for a car, anything that would take us away from there, but instead of finding one, we..." I took a deep breath. "We found...empty graves."

Edward inhaled sharply, but I still couldn't look at him.

"All we wanted was to come home, to be safe again," I muttered, scrambling to my feet. "There's not a moment that goes by that I don't feel his hands on me, or smell his breath in my face. Everyday I live in hell and I don't know how to get out."

Wrapping my arms around my body, I walked down to the edge of the water, sliding into the wet sand. I pulled my knees to my chest and let my tears fall freely, not caring about anyone seeing me anymore. It took too much strength to be strong and I just didn't have it in me anymore.

The girls came running over to me, splashing through the water and giggling like today was the best day in the world. Rushing over to me, they grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet.

"Mommy, come play," Whitley squealed.

"Yeah, Mommy, come into the water with us," Mackenzie giggled.

Laughing, I followed them out, wrapping my arms around them when a wave swept us of our feet. The sounds of their giggling burned into my heart. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

After playing in the water for an hour, the girls decided they were hungry and ran backup to the blanket to grab a snack. Instead of following them, I settled back into the sand, pulling my knees up to my chest. A few minutes later, Alice settled down next to me, sliding her arm in with mine and curling her body around me. Closing my eyes, I pressed my forehead down on hers.

"I've loved you for more than half my life," I whispered. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't yearn for your touch."

"Then why won't you let me?" she whimpered, bringing her hand up to my cheek. "Baby—" I tensed and tried to move away from her, but she held onto me. "Don't let him take you from us."

"He already has," I cried. "Don't you get it? He's inside my head all the time, Ali. I can't get away from him because no matter where I go, he's there."

"He's not there. He's dead."

"I know that, Alice," I groused, shaking my head.

"Do you?" she asked, letting her hand drop down onto mine. "You're letting him control everything you do, baby."

"Don't call me that," I begged. "Please, don't call me that."

"He doesn't get to take that from us, too," she murmured, shifting so that she straddled my legs. Her sundress crept up her thighs. Alice brought her hands to my face, tilting my head back. "You're not his, you never were. You belong to me, to Jasper and Edward. Baby, don't let him take you away from us."

"How can you still want me now?" My hands moved to her thighs and I pulled her closer to me. "After everything I've done..."

"You haven't done anything, but survive, my love," she whispered, brushing her lips across mine once. "We want you because you make us perfect."

"Ali," I mumbled. "I don't deserve your love. I never did."

"Bullshit, baby." She smiled. "One day, you're going to believe us when we tell you that you're worth fighting for."

"Promise?" I asked, rolling so that she laid under me. "Can you make it all go away? Make it better?"

"No," she said, "but we'll do everything we can to make you smile again." My lips curved upward. "We'll hold you when you're scared and wipe away the tears when you cry."

"And you're never going to stop loving me, right?"

"No, baby, never," she murmured. "We've loved you for a lifetime and we're not going to stop loving you just because it gets hard."

I pressed my lips against hers again. "I love you."

"Mommy," Whitley yelled, jumping on my back and wrapping her arms around my neck. "Daddy said to stop playing kissy face because it's time to go home."

"Okay," I laughed, standing up with her hanging on to me. Holding my hand out to Alice, I smiled. "Come on."

Alice let me help her to her feet before the three of us made our way back to our family. Edward and Jasper were balancing the boys in their arms while trying to pack up our bags. Setting Whitley back on her feet, I relieved them of our boys, letting them snuggled into my arms. Once we had everything packed up, we headed back to the van and headed home. The boys fell asleep on the way while the girls talked incessantly about every detail of our time at the beach. I found myself hanging on every word out of their mouths. They saw the world with innocent eyes. I envied them.

Edward parked in the driveway and cut the engine. The girls jumped out and ran up the porch while Alice and I lifted the boys out of their carseats. With Edward and Jasper behind us, we headed up the front porch, finding the girls standing with a white envelope in their hands.

"Mommy, this has your name on it," Whitley said, holding it out to me.

I took it from her, gasping at the messy scrawl on the envelope. I'd recognize it anywhere. Shifting my eyes up to Edward, I muttered, "It's from Carlisle."

His jaw tightened and he dropped the bag and blanket he was holding. "Give it to me."

I shook my head and held it away from him. Instead, I shifted Edison into his arms and ripped it open, pulling out the letter before they could stop me.

_**Bella,**_

_**You probably won't be allowed to read this,  
**__**but I have to take the chance. I failed you.  
**__**You counted on me to save you, to protect  
**__**you, and all I've done is hurt you.**_

_**Tell Jasper and Alice that I'm sorry for  
**__**everything. I never wanted to hurt them,  
**__**especially Alice. She's an amazing woman  
**__**who loves you so much. Give the kids a hug  
**__**from me and make sure they know that I'll  
**__**always love them.  
**__**  
Tell Edward I'm sorry for hurting him, for not  
**__**being able to be the father he deserves. I'm  
**__**proud of the man he is, the father he's become.  
**__**I just wish I could be more like him.**_

_**You're strong than I ever was. One day, I hope  
**__**you can forgive me for being weak. **_

_**I love you, Bella, and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.**_

_**Carlisle**_

"No!" I screamed, rushing down the porch and running toward the garage.

"Bella, stop!" Jasper yelled, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I have to stop him," I cried, tearing my arm out of his grip.

"Stop him from what?" Edward asked, stumbling down the front steps.

I shifted my eyes to him. "From killing himself."

**Thank you for all the reviews. **


	35. Chapter 35

Shifting my eyes between my lovers, I swallowed against the bile rising in my throat. They were just standing there. Didn't they hear what I said? Carlisle was going to end his life, all because I'd failed him. He tried to protect me, but instead of being there for him, I had been selfish, worrying about my own pathetic life. I would never forgive myself for letting him down, not after he'd saved my life. If they couldn't understand, well, then they could go to hell.

I shook my head, tears burning at the corners of my eyes. "Look, I don't give a fuck if you like or not, but I'm going to him. He sacrificed everything for me and I will not let him down now."

I spun on my heel, but stopped when I heard Edward speak, "Alice, call Mike and Tyler. Have them come and stay with the kids. Jasper, I need you to call Esme, William, and Catherine. Let them know about the letter. Bella and I are going to go see if we can find him."

"He'll be at the office," I muttered, causing them to look at me. "It's the only other place he feels safe. Or he did, at least."

Edward nodded. "Just tell them to hurry."

"Be careful," Alice cried, taking Edison from his arms. She shifted her eyes to mine. "Please, be careful."

"I will," I whispered.

Edward and I ran over and climbed back into the van, heading down to the office. Pulling my knees up in front of me, I turned toward the door. Carlisle's letter was still clenched tightly in my fist. I'd abandoned him when he needed me the most. He'd done so much to try to protect me, but I wasn't there for him. Part of me wanted to lash out at Edward, blame him for keeping me away from the man who sacrificed everything for me, but I knew it wasn't his fault. I was the one who'd dragged Carlisle into hell. No, the only person at fault for any of this was me.

"Do you think we'll be able to get to him in time?" Edward asked, a tremor of fear lacing his words.

I looked over at him. "I hope so."

He nodded his head, but pressed down on the accelerator. Edward didn't understand why I needed his father. Deep inside, he'd convinced himself that Carlisle and I had slept together during our time in captivity. A part of him even considered the idea that we hadn't been forced, that we'd clung on to each other and, in the moment, willingly gave ourselves to each other. Of course, it didn't happen—forcefully or willingly—but Edward didn't believe me. Maybe he never would.

Twenty minutes later, Edward stopped in front of our office, slamming on the breaks. I threw my hand out, bracing myself against the windshield. Weeks had passed since I'd last been able to come back here, not since the day Carlisle and I had run away in a vain effort to escape from our demons. Just another mistake we could add to our list.

Pushing open the car door, I jumped out and ran toward the entrance with him behind me. Henry, one of the security guys who works the weekend shift, scrambled to his feet when he saw us rushing in. I bypassed him, vaguely hearing Edward ask if he'd seen Carlisle. Of course, he wouldn't have. Carlisle knew this building too well to let someone see him. Ignoring the elevators, I turned to the stairs, running up them as fast as I could. With each step, my heart ached. I couldn't lose him, not after going through hell together. He was the only person who understood how I felt, why it was hard to breathe every morning.

Carlisle invited me and Alice into, not only his company, but his family. He and Esme treated us like daughters, and when we needed him to support our unconventional relationship with Edward and Jasper, he told us he was father now and no matter what we could count on him—and I had every day.

Throwing open the door to our floor, I rushed down the hallway to my office, knowing in my soul that was where he'd be. My hand flew out and I grabbed the knob and stepped inside. However, before Edward could follow me into my office, I shut the door, turning the lock. "Bella," he yelled, banging his fists against the dark wood. "Open the fucking door."

Edward couldn't help his father right now. I probably couldn't, either, seeing how I'm just as fucked up as him, but I had to at least try. The only difference between the two of us was that I knew I'd never have the courage to end everything. I'd ruined my life and the life of my family, but I was selfish because I held on to them. So, instead of letting my husband in, I turned and faced Carlisle.

He sat in the far corner of my office. His knees were pulled up in front of him and he had a silver handgun in his hand. His eyes were locked on me, purple bags and dark circles confirming that he hadn't been sleeping. I couldn't blame him. Sleep was just another level of hell, one we'd never truly overcome. Carlisle brought his free hand up, twisting his fingers into his untidy hair.

Nobody else could understand just how guilty we felt over everything; him for not being able to save me, and me for not being strong enough to fight for both of us. He'd put himself on the line, giving up more than just control over his body to that horrible woman. Carlisle had killed a man. Even though it was in self-defense, he'd forever bear the weight of his actions. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about the night I killed Alex.

"What are you doing here?" he muttered. "Leave."

"No." I moved over and sat on the floor in front of him. His fingers tightened around his gun, but he didn't stop me. "I'm not leaving you."

He cringed, pulling his hair harder. "Please, just leave me alone. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Then give me the gun," I said, even though I knew he'd never give it to me. In his mind, he'd committed the ultimate betrayal—he hadn't saved me from hell.

"Everything I touch gets fucked over." Looking out the window, he brought the gun up, tucking it under his chin. "I should have done more to protect you. It was my job, my responsibility."

"You did everything you could," I replied.

Carlisle scoffed and looked over at me. "Don't fucking lie to me, Bella."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not."

"I was supposed to keep you safe that night," he muttered. "E—Edward made me promise before he headed home that I'd take care of you. He said even though you tried to put on a good show that you were barely hanging on." I frowned, the memories of my mental breakdown slamming into me. "He—he trusted me with you and I failed him."

"You did what you could," I lied. There was no point in denying the facts. Until we found ourselves locked in hell he didn't understand how scared I was, how much I hurt every fucking day. None of them did.

"God, you're such a fucking liar," he snarked, turning his glare on me. "Don't fucking sit there and excuse what I did to you."

"You saved me." I reached out, placing my hand on his knee. His eyes dropped to my fingers. "Don't leave me there. I need you, Carlisle."

His chest began to shake and sobs tumbled out from between his lips. "I just want it to stop."

"Me too," I cried, curling my fingers around his pants. "But I can't do it without you. Please don't leave me now."

Carlisle's hand fell from his hair, gripping mine tightly. Even though he still held the gun against his chest, he pulled me to him, dropping his head on my shoulder. "Bella, I've lost them all."

"I'm sure that's not true," I whispered, knowing that his fears were real.

"They talk about me when they think I can't hear, going on about how they can't do this anymore and I'm too far gone to help. I love them." His tears burned into my skin like acid.

"I know you do," I said. Nothing I told him would help. While I knew the only reason my lovers were still with me was because of our children, he didn't have that with them. Well, at least not with William and Catherine. "Carlisle, please don't leave me like this. I need you to keep me safe, to make sure they can't me again. You promised."

"I can't, Bella," he yelled, pushing me away. He brought the gun up to his head. "Don't you fucking get it? Without William, Catherine, and Esme, I have nothing left."

Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I tried to stifle my cry. "You have me."

"You don't need me," he gritted out. Tears poured from his blue eyes, but he didn't wipe them away.

Before I could reply, the door to my office got thrown open, the wood splintering from the frame. Spinning around, I saw Edward, Jasper, and Alice rush in with William, Catherine, and Esme following. In a heartbeat, two things happened. First, everyone looked between us, focusing on the gun clutched in his hand. Second, I heard the hammer on the gun being pulled back. Snapping my head around, I lunged for him, pulling his hand down just seconds before it went off.

Though the sound was deafening, I could hear the strained screams of "Bella" and "Carlisle" echoing around the room. Pinning his arm to the floor, I straddled his body, ignoring those behind us. Carlisle looked at me with pain radiating off of him. Before I could say anything to reassure him that I was okay, an arm snaked around my waist, pulling me off of him.

"Let me go," I screamed, fighting against Edward. The moment he touched me, I knew it was him, but, right now, Carlisle needed me.

"Bella, stop," he growled, dragging me a few feet away. Closing my eyes, I threw my elbow back, hitting him in the gut. His arm fell away and he groaned. I started toward Carlisle again, but he reached out and grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him. "Bella, goddamn it, don't do this. Choose us over him."

"He needs me," I cried, struggling to break free of his grip.

Edward let go, a wounded look on his face. Shifting my attention to everyone else, I saw the same looks, ones of pity and disgust. I took a deep breath and turned back to Carlisle, who had slid back up the wall staring at his hands. While the gun lay next to him, I knew his reflection had nothing to do with what had just happened. No, he still saw blood on his hands. Dropping to my knees, I crawled over to him, wrapping my hands around his.

He shifted his eyes to mine and whispered, "I killed him."

"I know." Shifting my body, I kept his hands in mine, curling around him in an effort to make him feel safer. "You had to because he was going to kill us."

"But I killed him." Carlisle pressed his forehead against my cheek. "His blood was warm and sticky. It poured over my fingers and…"

"He was going to hurt me." Even though I knew everyone could hear me, I tried to pretend they weren't right there. "He had my hands bound. He was going to put me on that hook."

"I couldn't let him." He shook his head, his tongue moistening his bottom lip. "We had to come home."

"That's right," I wept. "We're safe now because you saved us, Carlisle."

"I tried, I fucking tried," he keened.

Behind us, I could hear everyone crying with us, their tears over how broken we'd become. As much as I hated what I was about to say, I knew it had to be done, if not for our sakes then for theirs.

"They used you against us." Carlisle shifted his eyes to me, fear radiating from him. I released his hand and brought mine to his face. "She…put a gun to my head and threatened to kill me if he didn't do what she said. So he took off his clothes and he let her tie him to the bed." Carlisle's body convulsed as the memories attacked him, but I kept going. "I looked away because I couldn't violate his privacy like that, but then someone grabbed my head and made me watch while she straddled him, touching his chest, claiming him as hers."

I paused, bile creeping up my throat. It was bad enough that I relived every moment in hell inside my own head, but to have to put a voice to them tore my soul apart.

"He took her away," Carlisle stammered, keeping his eyes away from them. "I fought against her, trying to get away so I could stop him, but no matter how hard I fought…" He shuddered. "Oh God, I—I couldn't do anything to save her."

Behind us, our family, the people we were so desperate to come back to, sniffled and cried, but didn't utter a word.

"They tortured us, each using us for their own pleasures. When we fought against them, they'd threatened to kill us….or you." I shifted my attention to them, my eyes settling on Alice's. "He threatened to bring the girls down there, to see how they'd feel as he put it." Alice gasped, throwing her hand over her mouth. "I had to protect them, to make sure he didn't go after them, so I stopped fighting. I let him r—rape me."

She shook her head, her tears sprinkling down her face. "Oh, my God."

"He was going to kill us," I whispered, mostly talking to myself. A sharp inhale of air echoed around us. "There was a look in his eye. He'd take everything he could from our bodies before discarding us like we were nothing."

"I knew that if I didn't take the chance that Bella would never get to go home, to never see hers babies again. I couldn't let that happen," Carlisle mumbled, his hand reaching up to cover mine. "But she's a stubborn little bitch who wouldn't leave me there."

"I couldn't leave you there to die," I cried.

"I wish you had," he whispered, ignoring the gasp coming from the people sitting around us. "Death would be better than living like this."

While everyone gasped again, I brushed my fingers across his cheeks, wiping his tears away. "Death might be an easier road, I won't argue with you there, but, Carlisle, you can't give up. There are too many people who care about you. You leaving us would destroy us."

He began to shake his head in disagreement, but I stood up and walked between Edward and Jasper, grabbing the picture of our children that I kept on my desk. Clutching it to my chest, I took my place by him again. My hands shook as I placed the picture frame in his hands. My beautiful children stared up at him, wide smiles on the girls' faces while the boys were barely a few months old.

"They need their grandfather," I whimpered. "Mack and Whit need you take them for ice cream again, to call them your little doodlebugs." A strangled sob slipped from between his lips. "Edison and Jackson need to be given the chance to know the amazing man that you are."

"I'm not that man anymore," he murmured, tracing his finger over their reflection.

"No, you're not," I agreed. "Just like I'll never be the same mother to them that I was before we were taken." I shifted my attention to Jasper, Edward, and Alice. The three of them were cuddled together, arms holding each other together. I smiled, trying to make it real. "But now I have to move on. I don't know how I will let go of everything, but I know I have to try." I turned back to Carlisle. "And so do you."

Leaning over, he bent his knees up in front of him, bracing his elbows against them, and running his fingers through his hair. "It's too late for me."

"It's not," I whispered, slipping my arm through his. "They're here. If they didn't want you, they wouldn't be here right now."

"Is that what you think?" Esme asked, pulling our attention to her. Carlisle ducked his eyes from hers, but nodded. She brought her fingers up, covering her lips. "Oh, my love, there is not a moment that goes by that we don't yearn for you." Carlisle shook his head, yet before he could speak, she crawled across the room, taking his hands in hers. He struggled to hide his flinch, but I saw it. "All we want is for you to smile and laugh again. Fuck, at this point I'd take you yelling and screaming. At least it would be better than getting nothing."

"Don't you think I want to smile," he grumbled. "Just when I think I might be okay, something happens and it all comes rushing back at me. I want to love you, to be able to make love to you, but every time I close my eyes all I feel are her hands on me." Carlisle paused, taking a shaky breath. "I want my life back."

"Babe, you can't keep pushing us away." William pushed up onto his knees, crawling over to Carlisle and Esme. With Catherine following, I knew that for at least right now, they'd be okay.

Even though it was hard, I pulled my arm out from his. Carlisle snapped his eyes to mine, panic filling them. Bringing my hand to his face, I smiled. "It's okay. You need them."

He frowned. "But I need you, too."

"And I am here anytime, but right now, you need to work some things out with them," I said, before shifting my attention to my lovers. "And it's time for us to get some things right between us, too, I think."

He shook his head. "I never meant to hurt you."

"You didn't," I whispered, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "Carlisle, you're hero and you always will be. I love you."

"I love you, too," he cried.

Even though it tore my heart out, I scrambled to my feet and walked out of my office. I didn't need to look back to know that Edward, Jasper, and Alice were following me. Wrapping my arms around my torso, I allowed my tears to fall freely. Moving on wasn't the hard part, the hard part was letting it go.

**Thank you for all the reviews. This chapter can only be described as being a royal pain in my ass. Bella and Carlisle refused to talk, then when they finally started babbling, they didn't want to stop. **


	36. Chapter 36

**It's with a heavy heart that I announce that I am taking a break from Fan Fiction. I love writing, it's who I am and what I do, but lately I've struggled to balance both my professional work and my fanfiction stories. With looming deadlines on the horizon, I feel it would be best for me to take some time off and focus on getting my books done. **

**I have two books due in the next few months, a second installment to our just released publication The Candy Collection and an independent novel that I've been writing for months, if not close to a year now. In order for me to give them the attention and hard work they deserve, I have to take a step back and focus on what I have to do. Therefore, I am officially taking a vacation until May 1****st****. **

**However, I am not leaving the fandom altogether. You can still PM me here, or find me on Facebook. All of my stories will be completed as I've made a commitment to them and you, my readers, to give you the best I can. I appreciate all your support and I hope that you will understand why I need to take this break. **

—EA—

Somehow, and I wasn't entirely sure how, we made our way from the office back to the house in complete silence. There were things we needed to deal with, but the car wasn't the place to have this conversation. Though, I never wanted them to know everything that had happened when Carlisle and I had been kidnapped, the time for keeping secrets was over. If we wanted to get our lives back, we'd have to fight for it. Though, even I knew nothing would ever be the same for us again.

Edward parked the van in front of our house, but none of us moved. The sun had started to set, leaving a sheer orange glow on the horizon. Bringing my hand up to my chest, I looked up at the front door. This morning we'd set off for the beach with the hopes of spending the day together, a family looking to make things right. In the blink of an eye everything had shifted and I found myself revealing more than I ever intended to share. They shouldn't have to know the hell I went through, or the way Carlisle gave up his soul for my wellbeing.

Knowing they were waiting for me to take the first step, I slid my hand down to the silver door handle and pulled. A release of air from the backseat drew my attention. Jasper smiled sheepishly, but didn't explain his reaction—not that he needed to. Jasper's greatest fear was losing us, any of us. Our family was everything to him. Sliding out of the van, I pushed the door shut, wrapping my arms around my torso. Alice and Jasper climbed out next to me, while Edward rushed around from the other side.

"The kids?" I whispered, knowing the conversation we needed to have wasn't for their ears. They'd suffered enough, struggled to understand why I was broken. How do you tell the light of your lives that someone hurt you?

"With Mike and Tyler over at Embry and Jared's," Alice replied. "They thought it might be easier if they were distracted. The girls were pretty upset about, well, you leaving and everything."

I nodded. "Okay."

Unsure of what else to say, I started up the stone path way. Edward and Jasper spent three weekends tearing out the old, cracked concrete and laying each stone by hand, making sure they were perfect. Every time they worked on it, Alice and I would end up dragging them into our bedroom, fucking them till they were exhausted. A shiver ran through me. Would we ever get back to not being able to keep our hands off of each other? Or to yearn for the feel of our bodies trembling with ecstasy from a simple touch? I missed them.

Alice stepped in front of me, unlocking the front door and walking inside. I followed, looking around. Our bags from the beach had been tossed carelessly to the side. Instead of picking them up, I crossed the room and headed upstairs to our bedroom. I needed the comfort of our bed, the serenity of our room, and the hope that when we left it again that we'd be better. Not perfect, but better.

Kicking off my shoes, I walked over to our dresser, grabbing a pair of pajama pants and a clean t-shirt. Laying them on the bed, I closed my eyes and reached down to pull my shirt. However, someone stepped up behind me, slipping their arms around me and taking hold of the hem.

"Let me," Jasper murmured, sending a shiver through me.

I raised my arms, letting him help me slip out of my shirt. He placed a kiss on my shoulder before tossing it into the hamper. Turning to face him, I placed my hand on his chest, lifting my gaze up to his. There was so much I needed to tell him, Alice, and Edward. So much that I wanted to keep inside, locked away where it couldn't hurt them, but of course, I knew my silence hurt them even more. Opening my mouth once, I promptly shut it, the words dying out in my throat. My lips trembled, my eyes filled with tears, but still I just stood there. Shaking my head, I let my hand fall to my side and turned from him. This was going to be harder than I thought.

Grabbing my clean shirt, I pulled it on, slipping my shorts off and replacing them with a pair of black and red plaid pajama pants. They were my favorites, an old pair that I'd stolen from Edward. At first, he pouted, muttering under his breath about me stealing his clothes, but I knew him well enough to know that he loved the way Alice and I looked in his stuff. So did Jasper for that matter.

Once I was dressed, I climbed up on the bed, leaning against the headboard with my pillow hugged against my chest. Alice, Edward, and Jasper changed into their own pajamas and joined me. Their faces were filled with anticipation and need—a yearning to understand something they'd never be able to. At least, I hoped and prayed every day that they'd never know I felt.

"I don't know how to start this," I admitted, shifting my eyes between them. Edward sat directly in front of me with Alice next to him and Jasper on her other side.

"Why didn't you tell us about him threatening the girls when you came home?" Though Jasper asked the question, Alice whimpered, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. He wrapped his arm around her, nestling her against his chest.

Before I answered him, I shifted my eyes to Edward. Though he looked calm, his hands were clenched into tight fists. I hated that I had to tell them. "I—I . . ." I trailed off, taking a deep breath. "Because I didn't want you to know how much danger I put them in."

"Baby, you—you didn't put them in any danger," Alice cried.

"I did though." Running my fingers through my hair, I tucked my knees up to my chest. "He used our daughters to get close to me. I tried to keep them safe, to keep all of you safe, but I failed."

"You did, beautiful," Jasper insisted.

"But I didn't," I gritted out. "He could have taken you from me in a fucking heartbeat and all because he wanted to hurt me."

"You did the best you could in a horrible situation," Jasper said, reaching for my hand. His fingers covered mine as a tear slipped down my cheek. "You can trust us."

"I know and I do trust you." Using my shoulder, I brushed my tear away. "I do, but it's hard when I see the pain in yours eyes, feel the hesitation in your touches. I know that's my fault because I am so fucked in the head right now."

"Did you have sex with my father?" Edward asked.

My eyes fluttered to a close and my heart began to race. "I can't believe you're asking me that."

"It's not like I don't have reason to ask," he groused. I opened my eyes, looking right at him. He had his knees bent up in front of him, his arms resting on them. His eyes were filled with tears, my heart broke again. "You need him more than you need us."

"Not more, just different," I muttered.

"It feels like more," Jasper said.

I looked from Edward to him then to Alice. I could see the doubt, the fear I'd betrayed them in their eyes. "Carlisle saved my life." I wiped a tear away. "He's never been anything, but a father to me." I shifted my attention to Edward, making sure to look him straight in the eye. "I didn't have sex with your father." He relaxed. "And the fact that you had to even ask me that hurts."

"Can you really blame me?" he snarked. "Are you still in love with us?" His voice was low and bristly. I shifted my eyes to his, a sob rippling through me. "Are you?"

"Yes," I cried. "I love you so much that it hurts."

"Then let us in," he pleaded, shifting up on his knees and crawling over to me. "We need you so much, Bella, so goddamn much!"

"You shouldn't," I wept, gripping the front of his shirt. "I let him hurt me. I was weak and stupid. I deserved it all."

"No, baby, no," he murmured, lifting me into his lap. Leaning his forehead against the top of my head, he whispered, "You're strong, and beautiful. We're just so afraid of losing you. Don't you know how much we need you?"

"No." And I didn't, not anymore.

A shaky sigh slipped out between his lips. "We don't work without you. We never have and we never will."

"Why?" I breathed, bringing my hand up to his cheek.

"How after seven years together can you ask how we need you?" Jasper scooted over, wrapping his arms around the two of us. "Beautiful, never once since the night we found each other have we regretted being with you. You and Ali, me and Edward, we don't function right when we're not together. Each of us brings something into our marriage that the others don't have. Can't you see that?"

I wanted to believe them, but I didn't. Over the years, they'd been the ones to hold my hand when my parents disowned me, to help when Alex attacked me, and lost my identity. Even when I found myself again, they were the ones who helped me deal with my anger and the struggle to deal with the lasting effects of the accident. While in my heart I knew they loved me, there was only so much they would put up with. Shaking my head, I struggled with getting the words out. I loved them more I'd ever be able to explain.

Alice, knowing me better than myself, climbed up behind Jasper, draping her arms over his shoulders. "Baby, you're a part of us. We've fought hard to hold on to you, to hold on to us, and we're not going to stop now."

"That was before," I grumbled.

"Before what?" Edward whispered nuzzling my cheek with his lips.

"Be—before he touched me," I stammered, my breath coming out in heavy pants. "Before he took what was yours."

"Oh, baby," he murmured, laying me back on the bed. Moving so that he was nestled between my legs, he brought his hand up to my face. "You're ours no matter what that bastard did to you."

Lowering his lips to mine, he kissed me. Slow and sensual, he moved his mouth, making sure not to move faster than I was ready for. My hands slid up his arms, my fingers tangling themselves in his hair. Edward pressed himself against me, and I waited for the panic to set in or the urge to push him away, but it never came. Instead, I felt my body tingle, the need for his touch soaring through me.

"Edward, please!" I whimpered, tearing my lips from his.

He didn't say anything as he sat up on his knees, his hands sliding down my sides to the hem of my t-shirt. His eyes were locked on mine. I sat up, lifting my arms. Without a word, he slipped my shirt off, tossing it onto the floor. Edward's gaze traveled down the length of my body, a throaty moan reverberating from his chest. He grabbed the top of my pajama pants. I lay back, and lifted my hips for him to pull them off. Along with my panties, he let them drop to the floor, leaving me bare in front of him.

"How can you doubt how much we need you?" he whispered, lifting my leg up and peppering kissing along my calf. I mewled, unable to make a coherent thought. "Answer me, Bella," he growled, shifting on the bed as he made his way up to my thigh. "Tell us how we can't need to touch you, to feel you, to taste you."

"I—I don't know why you'd want to touch me after he did those things to me. You're all I've known for seven years, but, now, I'm ruined." Edward clicked his tongue, before snaking it out and licking just outside of my pussy. I moaned, throwing my hand out and grabbing at the blankets. "Jesus fuck, Edward!"

Wrapping his arms around my thighs, Edward lifted my bottom half off the bed, burying his face in me. I arched off the bed, gasping from the feel of him between my legs like this. Beside me, Alice and Jasper stripped off their clothes. Alice moved so that she was under Edward, pulling his hard cock out of his pants and quickly engulfing him in her mouth.

Tentatively, Jasper moved up to my head, one hand stroking himself slowly while the other found its way into Edward's hair. His eyes bore into me, pleading with me to tell him if he was going too far. I knew that this moment would change everything for us. Our passion for each other had always been what pushed us through the hard times, the struggles, and the disappointments. Peeling my fingers from around the blanket I'd been gripping, I reached out and slipped my fingers around him. Jasper's head fell back, a moan slipping out from between his lips. Leaning up on my elbow, I licked the slit on the tip of his cock.

"Oh, fuck, Bella!" he growled, dropping his eyes down to me. I opened my mouth, letting him slide in until he hit the back of my throat. While he still gripped Edward's hair with one hand, he brought his other to the back of my head, slowly guiding me. "So fucking good, beautiful."

I hummed around him, the mixture of him in my mouth and Edward's mouth on me overwhelming me. My body trembled, the fear and anxiety sending me over the edge. I cried out around Jasper's cock, my orgasm washing over me. His fingers tightened on my hair, his hips bucking eagerly toward my mouth.

Edward lifted his mouth from me, looking between us to where Alice was sucking him. "Goddamn, Ali, your mouth if so fucking good, baby."

Alice released him, crawling out from under him. She captured his mouth with hers before he could complain. "Lover, she needs you," Alice whispered, barely pulling her lips from hers. "Both of you. Show her how much you need her, love her, and yearn for her to be between you." Letting Jasper's cock fall out of my mouth, I looked at her with wide eyes. Alice smiled, brushing her fingers over my cheek. "You're ready."

I wasn't as sure as her, but I knew I could trust her. She'd never let me get hurt. Nodding, I waited for them to get ready. Edward's hands shook as he reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube we kept in the nightstand. Seven years together had taught us to always be prepared. Jasper lay on his back, grabbing my hips when I moved to straddle him.

A whimper slipped out between my lips when I slid down on him, taking him inside my body for the first time in weeks. Alice moved over, cupping my face and wiping away my tears. Placing his hand on my back, Edward pressed gently, telling me to lean forward. I did as he asked, resting my head on Jasper's shoulders. Edward moved slowly, starting with one finger then adding another. My heart raced as the fear slipped away to be replaced by pleasure. This was how we were always meant to be, together. A solid unit—perfection.

Slipping his fingers out of me, I tensed the moment I felt his cock at my entrance. Alice grabbed my hand, bringing it to my lips. Grabbing my hips, Edward slowly began to push inside of me. "Oh, fuck, oh my God," I cried, tightening my fingers on Alice's hand.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay," Edward murmured, trying to sooth me.

He went slow, easing himself inside of me at a slow pace. My eyes fluttered to a close, the feeling of both my husbands inside of me was almost too much. Starting slow, Edward and Jasper began moving, alternating strokes. Alice's hold on my hands tightened as she brought them to her lips. Leaning back a millimeter, I turned my gaze onto her. She watched us with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

I pulled my hand out of hers, bringing it to the back of her head. Bringing her lips down to mine, I kissed her like it was the first time I'd ever tasted her lips on mine, like we were those fifteen year old girls getting caught up in the moment. While this wasn't the first time I'd felt her mouth on mine, or felt my husbands making love to my body, we were starting fresh, letting go of everything we'd been holding onto for weeks and finally finding our way back together—where we belonged.

Tightening my hold on Alice, I broke my lips from hers, dropping my head back on Jasper's shoulders. My orgasm was tittering on the edge. "Please," I whimpered. "I—I can't hold off."

"Come for us, beautiful," Jasper grunted, his hands finding Edward's.

"I—I . . ."

"Now, baby," Edward groaned. "Please!"

Unable to resist, I cried out as my orgasm washed over me, taking my lovers over the edge with me. Slowly our bodies stopped moving together, our breath coming out in heavy pants. Pulling out of me slowly, Edward laid down on the bed next to me and Jasper. Pushing up, I climbed off of Jasper, snuggling into Edward's waiting embrace. Alice wrapped her arms around Jasper, the two of them turning toward me and Edward.

"We're going to be okay," she said, quietly. "It might not always be easy, but we're going to be okay."

"You really think so?" I murmured, covering Edward's hand with mine.

"How can we not?" She smiled. "We've dealt with hard times before and got through them. This is nothing more than a bump in the road."

"I hope so," I whispered, unsure if they heard me or not. "I really hope so."

**Thank you for the reviews. Please remember that with my A/N the next update won't be here until May, but I am not giving up on my little family here. It will just take me some time.**


	37. Chapter 37

The weeks that followed my admission to my lovers were the both the most relaxing and nerve-racking in my life. I worried about Carlisle, even though Alice swore that he was okay. She talked to Esme, Catherine, or William on a daily bases, getting status updates on his wellbeing as well as letting them know that I hadn't had anymore self-destructive episodes. I didn't blame her for talking behind my back. Alice tried to be covert, but I'd known my girl for more than half of my life.

At the mention of his father's name, Edward would tense. It was still a struggle for him to understand the need I had for Carlisle, but I couldn't blame him. His father had been through hell, giving up so much of himself in an effort to spare me the torment I had to endure anyway. Edward was trying, that's all I could ask of him. Just as I was trying to be the woman he, Jasper, and Alice needed me to be. One day at a time, that was all I could offer.

"Beautiful, what are you doing out here so early?" Looking over my shoulder, I let my hand drop down onto my leg. I'd been up since before the sun had begun to rise. Jasper was leaning against the doorframe, his blond hair sticking out in every direction despite his effort to tame it when he crawled out of bed and his pajama pants hanging loosely on his hips. "Nightmare."

Nodding, he pushed off the frame and walked up behind me, his hands finding my hips. A tickle shot through me, one I was trying not to let scare me. Jasper wasn't going to hurt me, he loved me. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really, but I guess it'd be better than keeping it locked away inside, right?" I asked, blinking against the tears burning my eyes. Jasper didn't reply, giving me the go ahead to continue. "He came after the girls again. They blamed me."

Jasper tensed against me. "You know he can't do that, right? He's dead."

"I know." Sighing, I turned on my stool, lifting my eyes up to his. "How do we protect them from the dangers out in the world?"

"I don't know," he replied, honestly. "Right now, we do what we can to shelter them from the horrors out there. When they are ready, we do what we can to prepare them for what the world is really like. I don't know, I guess I'm just naïve, but I don't want Mack and Whit to know that there are men out there that would take like that."

"I don't either, but it's a fact of life, isn't it?" I asked, placing my hands on his hips. "Jacob, Alex, Demetri, they wore my defensives down, each one making me more of a victim than the one before."

"See that's where you are wrong, beautiful." Jasper cupped my face, brushing away the tears that sprinkled my cheeks. "Those bastards made you a survivor, not a victim." I started to disagree with him, but before my head had moved an inch, Jasper add, "You were strong enough to protect the girls, you were brave enough to leave, and you're talking to us. That makes you a survivor in my book, and I know that Edward and Alice would feel the same."

"Yeah, but you're all a little biased," I murmured, chewing on the inside of my bottom lip.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Maybe, but that doesn't make it any less true. Now, I am starving and I think you should make me some of your famous bacon. You know, since I am not allowed to use the stove and all."

I laughed; almost feeling like it came out real. "Hmm, maybe I should amend that rule just this once."

"Oh, no, beautiful," Jasper scoffed, pulling me off of the stool. "Rules are rules. We can't go breaking them now."

I smirked. "Never stopped us before."

Jasper groaned as I brushed past him, allowing my hand to drift along his chest, and walked into the kitchen. Swallowing against the fears crawling its way up my throat, I pulled out everything I'd need to make a proper breakfast for everyone. Jasper grabbed the morning paper off the front porch before settling at the table while I cooked. When I placed a cup of coffee in front of him, he wrapped his arm around my hips and pulled me down for a quick kiss. To many it wouldn't mean much, but for me it felt like another step toward who we used to be. It gave me hope.

"Something smells good in here." Edward laughed, pushing open the kitchen door. Pulling the last strip of bacon off the griddle, I looked over my shoulder, finding him and Alice standing in the doorway with the boys in their arms. Edward turned his attention to me, his smile deepening. "Is that the Swan's famous bacon?"

"Of course," I murmured, turning away. My cheeks warmed, knowing he and Alice were still staring at me. "Where are the girls?"

"Being slow." Alice sighed and put Edison in his highchair. She reached out and took Jackson from Edward, placing him in the chair next to his brother. "Whitley is having a hard time deciding what to wear and Mackenzie is fretting over shoes."

I carried the platter over to the table, setting it in front of Alice. "I'll go help."

"Hey, what about the rest of my breakfast?" Jasper crossed his arms in front of him and began to pout.

I smiled. "Sorry, but the girls come first."

Before Jasper could complain further, Edward said, "Go to the girls, baby, I'll make sure Jas gets his food."

I left them in the kitchen, hearing Edward promise Jasper to make him some pancakes if he stopped pouting. Sometimes he was a bigger kid than the girls were, but it's what we loved the most about him. He kept us from letting life get too serious, too out of control. Or at least he tried. No matter how hard we tried, life sucked ass. The last few weeks were proof of that.

Climbing the stairs slowly, I stopped outside of their rooms, smiling at the sounds of my darling girls inside.

"Should I wear the pink shirt with the orange leggings? Or the purple sweater with my sweetheart jeans?" Whitley asked.

"Hmm, how about your purple sweater with your orange leggings," Mackenzie suggested.

Whitley made a scoffing noise. "Purple and orange don't go together."

"Well, orange and pink don't go together, either," Mackenzie countered. "Anyway, who cares? Mommy says we should be ourselves and not care what everyone else thinks."

"Is that what I said?" I asked, stepping into the room. Mackenzie and Whitley looked back at me, both of them smiling. However, instead of running into my arms and hugging me like they used to, they just stood there. My heart broke. I'd pushed them away because I was ashamed. "You're missing an awfully good breakfast downstairs."

"I don't know what to wear," Whitley muttered, dropping her eyes to the floor.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, I reached out and took hold of her hand, bringing closer to me. "What do you want to wear?"

She shrugged her shoulders, leaning against me. "I just want to look pretty."

"Sweetheart, you are pretty, no matter what you wear," I whispered, pressing my lips against the side of her head. Lifting my eyes to Mackenzie, I saw her watching us with longing. I held my hand out to her, which she took eagerly. "Both of my girls are beautiful just how you are."

"Mommy, are you better yet?" Mackenzie asked, a quiver filling her voice.

My eyes filled with tears. I wanted nothing more than to tell her yes, that everything in my life was perfect and I was happy, but I couldn't. Truth to be told, I was still scared shitless. I didn't know how to be their mom without feeling guilty for putting their safety in the hands of a man who used them to manipulate me into following his sick and twisted desires. Logically, I knew it wasn't my fault, but one look in their faces and the shame I'd been battling against for the last two months came back with a vengeance.

"I don't know," I whimpered. "You both know that I love you, don't you? That you and your brothers are my entire world?"

"Yeah, Daddy told us." Whitley shrugged her shoulders. "Mommy, you have a booboo, right? Maybe we should kiss it and make you feel better. You always say that nothing is so bad that a kiss and a hug can't fix."

Taking a deep breath, I leaned my forehead against hers. "My darling, I wish more than anything that all it would take for me to be better was a hug and kiss, especially from my beautiful girls, but it's not that easy. Just remember that I'm trying, okay? And that I love you both so much."

"We love you, too, Mommy," they chimed together.

I smiled. "Okay, now let's get you ready before Daddy eats all the bacon."

Whitley decided to go with the pink and orange combination, adding a pair of pink rain boots. Mackenzie slipped on her purple rain boots, finishing off what she referred to as "the look" of the season. She was so much like Alice, it scared me sometimes. The black denim miniskirt, cream tights with purple hearts, purple tank with white mesh cover up made her out to be the biggest fashion diva in Kindergarten and I loved every inch of her.

Once they were ready, we headed down to the kitchen. Edward and Jasper were feeding the boys some applesauce while Alice was nibbling on a piece of bacon. They all looked up at us when we came in, Edward and Jasper whistling at the girls. They giggled as they jumped into their seats. Alice placed a pancake and some bacon on each of their plates, brushing her fingers across their cheeks before leaning back in her chair. With tears filling my eyes, I walked over to the coffee pot and poured myself a cup. It was silly for me to be so emotional at just the sight of my family being normal, but I couldn't stop the moisture from sprinkling down my cheeks.

Alice slipped her arms around me. "Have I kissed you good morning yet?"

"No," I whispered, trying to keep the tremor from giving me away.

However, as she always had been with me, Alice wasn't fooled. Placing her hand on my hips, she spun me around so that faced her. I ducked my head, keeping my eyes hidden away from the girls. They were already too worried about me.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She kept her voice low, making sure not to pull their attention to me. They were laughing over something Edward said. The sound of their sweet innocence seeped into my soul.

"Nothing," I murmured, trying to be discreet when I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"Don't do that." She sighed. "You can tell me."

"It's really nothing, just watching all of you at the table, well it's sweet." Alice shook her head, skeptic of my reasoning. "I promise that's all it was."

"Hmm, okay, if you're sure," she muttered, sliding her hands around my waist. "Now can I have that kiss?"

Blushing, I nodded. Alice sighed as she leaned up on her toes, pressing her lips against mine. I moaned, wrapping my arms around her and deepening the kiss. It wasn't until the chorus of giggles behind Alice interrupted us that I realized Alice had slipped her hand down onto my bottom. Taking a deep breath, I tore my lips from hers, finding Edward and Jasper covering their mouths with their hands while Whitley and Mackenzie had their fingers over their eyes. My skin warmed, heating under their penetrating gazes.

"Um, you'd better hurry," I mumbled, stalking across the kitchen and pushing open the door. "You'll be late."

Wrapping my arms around my torso, I practically ran up the stairs to our bedroom and threw myself on the bed. I turned my face into my pillow and screamed. I was tired of getting overwhelmed every time things started to get too relaxed with us. Two months ago, the girls seeing Alice and I kissing wouldn't have been a big deal, or even her hand roaming down to my ass, but now I felt like they were judging me. It was ridiculous and stupid, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of those feelings. Would there ever be a day when I didn't feel out of place in my own life?

"You're gonna suffocate yourself if you keep that up." The bed shifted as Edward sat on the side. I looked over at him. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "The girls asked if they could kiss my booboo and make everything better. I wish they could."

"Me too," he replied, placing his hand on my hip. "But you are doing better, even if you don't see it. You don't even flinch anymore when we touch you."

"I shouldn't have ever felt the need to," I groused.

"No, you shouldn't have, baby, but you did," he said, leaning down and kissing me. "I'm proud of you, Bella."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're still here, still breathing, still trying."

I brought my hand up to his cheek. "What did I do to deserve you?"

Edward shrugged. "You loved us."

"Loving you three was the easiest decision I ever made," I murmured.

"We're heading out now." Edward tightened his grip on my hip when I tensed. "You can a get dressed and come into the office with us."

Pulling my lip between my teeth, I shook my head. "I have plenty of work here to do." Edward sighed, which only made me feel guilty for leaving all the responsibility on their shoulders. "I'm not ready to face them, to have them watching me all the time."

"You can't hide out forever, baby. Sooner or later, you have to go back to work, face your life."

"I know, but I can't today."

Pushing himself off of the bed, Edward nodded and stood up. "Fine, just promise to call if you need us?"

"I promise," I whispered.

Though I could tell he didn't want to leave, Edward kissed me once more before he walked out of our bedroom. A few minutes later, I heard the front door shut. Scrambling to the window, I watched as he, Jasper, and Alice loaded the kids in the van. They'd drop the girls off at school first before taking the boys over to Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte's. They didn't trust me enough to take care of the boys during the day. Not that I blamed them. I was fucked up.

Stepping away from the window, I decided that I might as well get some work done. So once I had a cup of coffee and what was left of the bacon, I settled down at the dining table and began to work on the last month's budget reports. Out of the almost twenty people who had pulled their accounts from my company after the emails of me went live, over half of them had come crawling back on their hands and knees, begging for us to take them back. Of course that wasn't until the news of mine and Carlisle's kidnapping had made front page of the every newspaper in the state. Seems they realized that I'd been the victim of some son of a bitch. Pity it took my wellbeing for them to understand.

While I waited for my laptop to boot up, I opened my planner, searching for due dates. It wasn't until I noticed a small heart in the upper corner on page that I felt my heart leap in my chest. I started counting backward, trying to quell the panic raising inside of me. My breath caught in my chest when I realized I was late. Like really late. Over a week late.

**HELLO! Have you missed me? Yes, I am back, but I will warn you now that while I have the books written and submitted to my editor, I still have a lot of work to do before they can be released in June/July respectively. So, if updates still aren't as quick as you'd like, please understand that I am working very hard. If you're interested, our publishing house has created a new website. There might be some info on me and my upcoming books ;) Just go to www dot renaissanceromancepublishing dot com**


	38. Chapter 38

Once again my world had been shaken and everything felt out of control. All I could do was look at the dates taunting me. One day, then two, three, four, until the count reached closer to fourteen days. The only good news came with the little fact that if I was indeed pregnant, there was no way Demetri could be the father. I wouldn't have been able to survive one moment with the thought of his child growing in my womb.

I wasn't sure what to do. For the first time in two months, I'd begun to feel hope for the future, to believe that just maybe I'd survive the hell I'd been thrust into. The last thing we'd planned on was having another child, especially with the fact that our lives had been turned upside down. I was barely hanging on, fighting every moment for the next breath I drew into my lungs. Pushing away from the table, I ran my fingers through my hair, allowing my tears to fall carelessly. Would this be the end of us for good?

"Bella, are you here?" Rose hollered. Stumbling out of the dining room, I reached the living room at the same time she did. She started to smile, but stopped when I slid to the floor, a strangled scream tumbling from between my lips. "BELLA!"

"Rosie," I gasped, reaching for her. She crossed the room faster than I'd ever imagined, falling to her knees and wrapping her arms around me. I grabbed her arm, trying to hold on as tightly as I could. Everything was crashing down around me. My chest tightened and suddenly everything in the room started to spin around me. I looked up at my sister. Her face was contorted in fear. I wanted to beg her to help me, but before I could utter a sound, darkness swept me away.

-EA-

"Bella, baby, wake up." The sound of Alice's voice broke through the darkness that surrounded me. Out of instinct, I lifted my hand, searching for her. Alice took hold of my hand, her fingers slipping in with mine. She brought them to her lips, peppering my skin with kisses. "Baby, please, wake up."

My eyes felt like I had lead weights laying on them as I pried them open. Alice was sitting on the edge of the couch next to me. Behind her was Jasper, his arm wrapped around her waist and the other draped across my legs. Edward knelt in front of Alice, raking his fingers through my hair. All three of them wore similar looks of fear. I immediately felt guilty for adding to their pain. Too many times in the last two months — hell the last seven years — I'd caused them to worry. When was my selfishness going to end?

"Are you okay?" Alice asked, a tear dropping from her cheek onto my hand.

"I — I . . ." The words died off in my throat when I saw movement from the corner of my eye. Rose, Emmett, Garrett, and Kate stood by the front window along with Renee, Charlie, Peter, and Charlotte. However, they weren't the people who caught my attention. Carlisle was sitting on the other sofa with Esme and William on either side of him. Catherine sat next to Esme, all of them were watching me with guarded expressions—everyone, but Carlisle at least.

Shifting, I sat up, ignoring Alice, Jasper, and Edward when they tried to push me back into a laying position. My focus was on Carlisle, the helpless need on his face. He lifted his eyes up to mine, the hurt and anger causing my heart to ache. Crying out, I scrambled off the couch and up the stairs without saying a word to any of them. I threw the door to our bedroom shut before I scrambled onto our bed, buried my face in my pillow once again, and screamed.

They'd never believe that I didn't sleep with him now. They already doubted my word. With a child growing inside my belly, they'd believe I'd fucked him. Bile rose in my throat. There'd be no recovering from this.

"Bella," Edward said, placing his hand on my back. I turned my head enough so that I could peek at him. He was sitting on the side of our bed with Alice and Jasper behind him. "Baby, you're kind of scaring the shit out of us. Rose called and said that you were freaking out just before you passed out. What the hell is going on?"

I opened my mouth a dozen times, but the words were stuck in my throat. Rolling onto my back, I sat up, pulling the pillow in front of me and hugging it to my chest. My tears feel freely. There was no point in trying to hold them in. Alice climbed on to the bed, crawling up to my side and bringing her hand to my face. Brushing the tears off, she leaned in and kissed me.

"Bella, talk to us," she whispered.

"I — I'm late," I mumbled, barely able to get the words out. The pressure in my chest began to build once more.

"Late for what?" Jasper asked just before Alice released a sharp breath.

"Oh, baby," she murmured, resting her forehead against mine.

While it was clear she'd figured out what I was trying to express, Jasper and Edward looked even more confused. Alice let her hand fall down on to mine; squeezing my fingers that were digging into the beige pillowcase I was holding onto. She looked at them, her eyes heavy with pain. "Bella's period is late."

As the realization of Alice's words sank in, Edward stumbled back a few steps while Jasper sank to his knees, his hands coming to rest on the side of the bed. I didn't need to look at them to know what they were thinking. They were disgusted with me.

"How late?" Edward groused, his jaw was clenched so tight that I was afraid he'd crack his teeth. He turned his gaze to me. "Bella, how late are you?"

"At least two weeks, maybe more," I muttered. "I'm not really for sure. My last period was just after . . ." Shaking my head, I took a deep breath. "Right after I was taken and . . ." I couldn't continue, now knowing that everything was about to blow up.

"But you don't know anything for sure, do you?" he asked, the harshness in his words slamming into me. I shook my head. "Okay, then we'll take you to Esme's office and . . ."

"No!" I screamed, climbing off the bed. "She hates me, blames me for what happened."

"Bella, she doesn't hate you or blame you," Jasper insisted, standing up. He reached for me, sliding his hands up my arms until they cupped my face. "None of this is your fault. Until we know for sure if you're pregnant, then we just deal with the now. Besides, you could be late because you're stressed, right?"

"I suppose," I mumbled. "I don't know."

"Okay, so we're all going to calm down and take a minute to figure this out," he said, leaning in and brushing his lips across mine. Letting his hands drop to his sides, he turned back to Edward and Alice, both of whom were frozen. "Alice, why don't you and I go down to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test? Edward, you stay here with Bella, okay?"

"Sure," they mumbled.

Alice climbed off the bed and took Jasper's hand as they walked out of our bedroom, leaving just me and Edward. He leaned against the wall behind him, looking like someone had just sucker punched him. Tears filled my eyes as I moved back over to the bed, sliding back up against the headboard and pulling the pillow back in front of me. I wasn't sure what to say to him. I loved Edward, the connection the two of us had always had mesmerized me, but it was different now. Maybe he had stopped loving me.

"Is that what you think?" he asked. It was then that I realized I'd been rambling my thoughts and feelings out loud. "Do you really think I don't love you anymore, Bella?"

My lips trembled. "I don't know what to think. Everything is fucked up again."

"No, it's a little crazy, baby, but it's not fucked up." Edward sighed before pushing off the dresser and climbing on to the bed. He lay down, letting his head rest on my knee. "I don't like being afraid that every word I say is going to sound like I am accusing you of something."

"I don't either," I admitted. "Edward, I don't know how to make you believe me when I tell you that nothing happened between me and Carlisle."

Sitting up, he lifted his eyes to mine. "I know nothing happened, Bella. It's just hard to hear that you need him more than us."

"Not more," I insisted, shaking my head.

"It is more, for now at least." Edward released a shaky breath as he reached over and took hold of my hand. "He's my father, Bella. Things like this weren't supposed to happen to him, or you, but they did and I don't know how to make it all better. He's dying inside and I don't know how to help him. Esme, William, and Catherine are trying, but they feel just as lost as we do." Edward sighed, closing his eyes. "I hate feeling like you're just out of reach." Lifting his shoulder, he wiped a tear off his cheek. "I should have been the one there with you that night, not him."

"I'm glad you weren't," I admitted. Edward's eyes snapped open as he frowned. "For whatever reason, they were fixated on me and Carlisle. If you'd been there, they would have killed you." I flinched at the thought of a world without him in it. "I need you, Edward. You, Jasper, and Alice — you're everything to me. Without you and the kids, I'd be lost."

"Do you really mean that?" he asked, bringing our hands up to his lips.

"Of course I do. I know that I've really made things difficult for all of us, but I am trying," I murmured. I dropped my free hand to my stomach. "I just wasn't prepared for this, though. The boys are not even a year old. The girls are scared enough that I'm going lose it or whatever."

"Yeah, me either," he admitted, "but we'll figure it out. The girls are okay, they're scared because they don't understand why it's so hard sometimes, but they're trying to be strong. That's really all we can ask of them, don't you think?"

"Of course I do, but you make it sound easy," I whimpered, feeling the tears stinging the corners of my eyes again. "I am so fucking tired of crying."

Edward chuckled before leaning forward and kissing the tears away. "I never said it would be easy, love, but a child — even one born when things aren't perfect — brings hope that there is something worth fighting for."

"You really believe there are things worth fighting for?" I cried. "That I'm one of them?"

"I believe you, Jasper and Alice, our beautiful daughters, and our handsome sons are worth fighting tooth and nail for, Bella." Sliding his arms around me, he shifted me into his lap, discarding the pillow I was clutching. Burying his face in the crook of my neck, he inhaled a deep breath. "My life would be nothing without you, Bella. The four of us made a vow to love and cherish each other forever, and, baby, we're not even close to forever yet."

"No shit," Jasper scoffed. Edward and I looked back to find him and Alice standing in the doorway to our room. A brown paper bag was clenched inside his hand. "Everyone is getting a little restless downstairs. Do you want to take this now or wait?"

"Um, I don't know," I replied, the words trembling from my mouth. "I guess now."

"Okay," he said, crossing the room with Alice at his side. He held the bag out to me. My fingers were shaking when I took it from him. "Bella, no matter what the stick says, remember that we love you, okay? That's never going to change."

I nodded. "I love you, too. So much."

Time felt like it slowed down as I climbed off the bed again. My legs felt heavy, weighted down by the undeniable pressure being placed on my shoulders. I was barely hanging on to my sanity as it was; how was I going to be able to handle dealing with pregnancy and the birth of another child? I closed the door to the bathroom, and laid the brown paper back on the vanity. My fingers shook as I reached inside and pulled out the test or tests rather that Jasper and Alice had bought me: a Clear Blue Easy and a First Response.

Tearing them open, I placed them next to each other. I took a deep breath and pulled my pants and panties down, sitting on the toilet. It took a moment for me to be able to pee, but I managed to use both tests. Putting the caps back on the ends, I laid them on the counter and set the digital timer. Everything was going to change in three minutes.

Instead of standing there and watching the clock slowly tick away, I climbed into the bathtub. With my knees pulled up to my chest, I tried to stifle the way my body trembled, the nauseas that was already building inside my stomach. Was it morning sickness or just my nerves? Shaking my head, I let out a heavy breath.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked, knowing on the door. Though I opened my mouth to respond, the words wouldn't come out. A moment later, she pushed the door open, a frown slipping over her lips when she saw me sitting in the bathtub. She came over and climbed in next to me, wrapping her arms around my torso and holding me as tight as she could. "It's going to be okay, honey."

"How can you say that?" I sniffled.

"Because I look in your eyes and see love pouring out of them," she replied, brushing her thumb across my cheek. "Bella, no matter what those tests tell us, or what happens afterward, we're going to love you. If they come back saying you aren't pregnant, we'll figure out why you're late. If you are, then we'll prepare for a new baby."

"You mean that?" I asked.

However, before Alice could respond, the timer went off. Releasing her hold on me, she climbed out of the tub and picked up both tests. Closing her eyes, she huffed out a heavy breath. Alice looked over at me and I knew. "Positive," I whispered.

**Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate them all. Now, don't hate me for leaving it here. I may have the next chapter already started and might be willing to update it really fast.**


	39. Chapter 39

"Yeah, both tests are positive," she confirmed. Bringing my hands up to my face, I muffled the cry as it tumbled out of my mouth. Alice was at my side in a heartbeat, nestling me back into her arms. Not more than three seconds later, Edward and Jasper were standing in the bathroom with us. They looked from us down to the pregnancy tests still clutched in her hands. "She's pregnant."

"Oh," Edward murmured, leaning against the vanity. "Well, that's good, right? I mean we're having a new baby. That's good news."

"Yeah, definitely good news," Jasper added, sliding his arm around Edward's waist.

"I — I . . ." I shook my head, trying to get the words out. "I don't know what to think right now. I wasn't expecting this. Shit, I was just starting to feel like everything wasn't crashing down on me and now I don't know what to feel."

"None of us were, but we'll deal with it together," Alice said. "We love you, Bella, and adding a new baby to our family is a blessing."

"I hope you're right," I whispered. "I really do."

Edward and Jasper offered us each a hand, helping us out of the bathtub. Alice kept my tests in her grip while Edward kept his arm wrapped around my waist. Jasper led the way back downstairs. My legs shook, each step feeling steeper than the previous one. When we walked into the living room, everyone stopped talking and turned to stare at me. Clenching my fists together, I fought against the urge to turn and run away, but Edward tightened his arm around me, doing his best to keep me from falling apart. He, Jasper, and Alice had looked at the bright side of our situation, or were trying to at least. We hadn't planned on the baby that grew inside my womb, but maybe this was the universes way of trying to make amends for the hell it had put me — no us — through.

"Is someone going to tell us what in the hell is going on?" Renee demanded. Charlotte had her arms around her. Peter and Charlie stood behind their wives, watching us with expectation.

I opened my mouth half a dozen times, but the words were stuck in my throat once again. Shifting my attention up to Edward, I silently begged him to tell them, to save me from the humiliation of having to explain my latest freak out.

"Bella's pregnant," he muttered. Just like that, eleven pairs eyes were locked on me — everyone, but Carlisle's.

"How far along?" Esme asked, her tone avoid of any type of emotion.

"We're not sure," he replied. "She just realized she was late."

Esme nodded and looked over at me. For a moment, I saw the softened, loving Esme that used to tell me that everything was okay looking back at me, but just as quickly as it was there, the hardened, angry Esme was back. "When was your late cycle?"

"J — just a — after . . ." I swallowed against the lump in my throat.

"How soon after? A week, two weeks? Was it a normal cycle?" She was bombarding me with questions faster than I was able to respond.

A whimper slipped out of my mouth. "I don't know. I guess it was around a week or so. It was lighter than normal. Why? What does that mean?"

"Maybe nothing, but we need to do an ultrasound and a blood test to confirm if you really are pregnant." Folding her arms in front of her, she stalked over to the front door. "Meet me at my office."

Before we could utter a sound, she was gone. I looked up at Edward, who was frowning. "So much for her not hating me, right?" I untangled myself from his arms, and took a step back from everyone. My eyes were filled with tears. Everyone was staring at me, disgust pouring off all of them. "So much for all of you not hating me."

Turning, I left them standing there and made my way outside. Esme was standing on the porch, her shoulders slumped forward, and a hand covering her mouth in an effort to stifle her sobs. She looked back as the door closed behind me. Her eyes were full of pain and longing. Before I could speak, she turned to face me.

"Did you have sex with Carlisle? Is that his baby?" Her questions cut deep into my soul.

"No," I replied. "For the last time, I didn't fuck Carlisle. I don't understand why you and everyone else won't believe us. Do you really think that I'm that big of a whore? That I'd fuck just any dick that came near me?" Shaking my head, I tried to hide the hurt. "Of course you do. Suppose you think I deserved for Demetri to rape me, too. That Carlisle deserved it." Esme gasped. I brushed the tears off my face. "You know what? Just forget that I even exist, Esme. It will make your life so much easier."

Esme stood there with her mouth hanging open as I stumbled past her, and down the front steps. "Bella, wait!" she called, but I ignored her. I made it to my car before she grabbed my arm and spun me around. "Goddamn it, stop!"

"No!" I screamed, ripping my arm out of her grasp. "You never treated me like a whore before now, not when you found out that I was fucking Edward, Jasper, and Alice. You always told us to be true to who we were and let our love shine through, but that was bullshit, wasn't it?"

"No, sweetheart, it wasn't," she replied. "And I don't think you're a . . . whore. But I need my husband, and all he does is ask about you, worry over you. I need Carlisle, Bella. I need him so goddamn much."

"I need you, too." We looked over and saw Carlisle standing in front of everyone. Behind him, William and Catherine had a hand on his shoulder, but it was the devastation in his eyes that had us holding our breath. "Esme, I love you. I love William and Catherine. Damn it, I'm trying to be the man that deserves you, but it's so hard."

"You're already that man," Esme insisted, reaching for him. He took her hand, pulling Esme into his arms. "It feels like you're miles away."

"I'm sorry," he cried. "All I've done is hurt you, all of you."

"No, babe, you're not to blame for anything that has happened," William said, wrapping his arms around both Carlisle and Esme. He lifted his eyes to me. "And neither are you, Bella. You've both done the best you can and, now, you've got to move on."

"That easy, huh?" I scoffed. "Do you not see the way you look at me? At Carlisle? You won't even trust us to be alone because you think we're going to do something stupid. Fuck, everyday one of you comes over to 'ask my opinion' about something or you were just 'in the neighborhood.'" I dropped my hands to my abdomen. "I'm terrified that this baby is going to suffer because of me, that my children will never feel like I really love them again. I — I miss my life and I don't know how to get it back."

"Your life is right here," Alice said, gesturing to her, Edward, and Jasper. With their arms wrapped around her, they smiled. "We're not going anywhere."

"That's right, you're stuck with us." Jasper smirked before walking over to me. His hand dropped down to cover mine that were resting on my abdomen. "This baby will be loved and cherished by all of us, just like Whit and Mack are, just like Edison and Jackson are. Have some faith in us, beautiful."

"I'm trying," I whispered, leaning toward him.

"Bella," Esme said, pulling my attention to hers. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry if I made you think that any of this was your fault. I feel so helpless and I hate it. You and Carlisle were hurting and I couldn't make it better — not this time anyway."

"All we wanted was for you to love us," I murmured.

"To still want us after . . . everything," Carlisle muttered. "I don't know how to be the husband, lover, father that I was before."

"None of us are asking you to be the same people you were before," Rose chirped. "Look, we don't have to solve all of this today. Just remember that we're here for both of you. Okay?" Laughing softly, we agreed. "Good. Now, get down to Esme's office and we'll deal with the rest of this on another day."

—EA—

The ride to the hospital was made in complete silence. I sat in the backseat with Alice. She kept my hand sniggled into hers. Part of me was scared that the tests would show that indeed I was pregnant, while the other part of me feared that the two little white sticks had been wrong. The problem was I couldn't decide which outcome I was hoping for. We'd never decided not to have any more children, but we already had four, and the youngest two weren't even a year old yet. Were we ready for another baby?

Sighing, I looked out the window. Apparently, we'd have a matter of months to get ready. Of course, I couldn't help but worry about how I'd be able to handle carrying another child while dealing with the terror that still haunted me. Too many nights I found myself struggling to find the morning, too many meals I had to force the food down my throat, only to pray that I'd be able to keep it from coming back up.

"Here we are," Jasper announced as Edward parked in the visitor lot.

Edward shut off the engine and turned in his seat, shifting his gaze from Alice to me. "No matter what happens, the four of us are in this together, right?"

"Yep." Alice giggled when Edward placed his hand between us. Jasper followed by laying his on top of Edward's. Alice let her fall on Jasper, before the three of them looked over at me. "Right, Bella?"

I nodded, feeling the tears fill my eyes for the umpteenth time today. My hand shook as I lifted it from my lap and covered theirs. "I love you. No matter what happens, never forget that I love you — all three of you."

"We love you, too, baby," Edward replied.

My heart was racing as we climbed out of the car. Edward and Jasper walked next to me, taking hold of my hands while Alice led the way into the hospital. Esme was standing in front of the help desk with Carlisle, William, and Catherine. The four of them seemed more relaxed than they had just an hour ago, which I was happy about. The love they shared was too good to let fear cause them to let it go. As Alice squeezed my hand, I knew the same could be said for ours. We'd already managed to survive more than we should have had to face. Somehow, we'd have to find the strength to face this, too — whatever this was.

"Are we ready?" Esme asked, turning to us. Though her eyes were still guarded, I could almost see the woman who'd tucked me under her arm and insisted that we travel back to Forks to confront my parents on Thanksgiving. The same woman who told me to suck it up when I didn't know who I was after my life was forever altered in the accident. "Bella?"

"Yeah, we're ready," I murmured, unsure if I was telling the truth or not.

Esme led us to the elevator. The eight of us rode up in silence. I was surprised when Renee insisted that she, Charlie, Peter, Charlotte, Rose, Emmett, Kate, and Garrett stay behind, saying that we were already stressed enough without making things harder for us. I wanted to tell her that it was okay, that I needed my mom to hold my hand and reassure me that everything was going to be all right, but I didn't. Instead, I nodded my head and climbed into the car without a word.

The elevator stopped, jarring me from my thoughts. Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I followed everyone down the hallway toward one of the examination rooms. My imagination had me on edge. It seemed like everyone we passed were stopping and staring at us, or mainly me. Of course they weren't, but it made me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Esme pushed the door to one of the rooms open, motioning for us to go inside. With a look back at Carlisle, I headed inside knowing that nothing would be the same again.

"Um, you know where the gowns are. I'll give you a minute to change," Esme said, shifting nervously.

"Okay," I replied. Nodding, she left us alone. I tried to smile as I turned back to my lovers. "It's all right to be nervous, right?"

"Well, seeing as we are, I'd say yes." Edward laughed, winking at me. "Now get naked."

I rolled my eyes, but stepped behind the curtain. As I began to strip off my clothes, I let my hands roam over my body. My breast seemed fuller than normal. Sliding my hand down to the waist band of my pants, I thought back to when I was pregnant with both Mackenzie and Edison. Both experiences were so different. With Mackenzie I struggled with the physical demands that carrying her put on my body. I was still healing from the aftermath of the accident. My pregnancy with Edison couldn't have been more different. Though in the later months I still had some tightness and pain in my hip, the physical aspect of my pregnancy with him was much easier.

"Um, Bella, honey, are you okay?" Jasper asked, poking his head through the curtain. His eyes traveled down the length of my nearly nude body, a smirk playing over his lips. "You certainly look okay."

"Jas!" I laughed, trying to cover myself up. "Get out of here!"

"Beautiful, I think you need me to help," he growled.

I shook my head, swiping his hand away. "Stop it, you silly goofball!"

"Fine, but hurry. Edward's giving me that look. You know which one I am talking about, where he's undressing me with his eyes. You'd best come out here and save me."

"Don't listen to him, baby," Edward teased, slipping his arms around Jasper's waist and pulling him back.

I laughed again. "You two are incorrigible."

"Would you have us any other way?" Edward asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Biting on my bottom lip, I shook my head. "No, I want you just like this: perverted and everything."

"Good, cause, baby, they ain't gonna change," Alice snickered. "Now, hurry. I want to see our baby."

Just like that the playfulness of the moment was gone. I pulled on the cotton gown, holding the front together as I went over and sat on the edge of the table. We didn't have to wait very long before Esme came back in. She carried a small tray that had several crystal vials on it and a long needle. My stomach churned at the thought of giving blood, which was different. I'd never had an issue with it before.

"Um, just as a formality, I'd like to take some blood and do a full work up." Esme paused and looked up at me. "If that's okay with you, Bella."

"Sure, why not," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Esme took four vials of blood before she took them out, mentioning to the nurse standing outside of the door to put a rush on it. I appreciated that she understood that having anyone else in the room with us would be too much. There was only so much I could handle and I was already on the edge. Adding to it wasn't going to help.

"Okay, so, um, I guess we'll do an exam," she mumbled. I could tell this was awkward for her. The last time I had to sit in front of her like this was the night she performed a rape kit on me and Carlisle. "Um, so why don't you lay back on the table?"

"Esme," I said, causing her to look up at me. "I'm nervous, too."

Sighing, she frowned. "I just don't want to hurt you again."

"You won't," I murmured, trying to convince myself as much as her. "Let's just get this over with."

Taking a deep breath, I laid back on the table, closing my eyes. Edward and Jasper grabbed my hands, while Alice stood up by my head, running her fingers through my hair. Esme bent my legs up, pushing my knees apart. I tried to stop the whimper as she began her examination, but I failed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Just hurry," I cried, turning my face into Edward's arm as her fingers pushed inside of me.

I knew Esme didn't want to hurt me, or even scare me, but the thought of anyone else touching me had me trembling. Bile was resting at the top of my throat, threatening to make a fool of me at any moment. After what felt like forever, Esme moved away from the bottom of my bed, tossing her latex gloves into the garbage.

"Your cervix is high and closed," she murmured. "Let's do an ultrasound."

Once again, I heard myself barely able to whisper, "Okay."

Esme pulled the machine over to us, sitting on the rolling stool and allowing it to warm up. Picking up the wand, she looked over at me. "You're doing amazing, Bella."

Her words might have been addressing the situation I found myself in, but somehow I knew she was talking about everything. Nodding, I tried to thank her, but the words came out garbled. The ultrasound machine hummed to life. Esme squirted some gel over my stomach, before placing the wand on top and smearing it everywhere. She made some notes before she paused, a smile twitching at the corner of her lips. Shifting her eyes to me, she turned the monitor and said, "Meet your baby."

My breath caught in my chest at the sight of our newest child. He or she was squirming, little limbs waving around. In the middle of their chest, I could see their heart beating. "Is the baby healthy?"

"Yes, he or she seems to be perfect," Esme murmured. "But . . ."

I shifted my eyes over to her. "But what?"

"Well, y — you're farther a — along than I expected, sweetheart," she stammered. "If your period was only two weeks late, that would put you around six weeks, eight at the very most, but . . ."

"Mom, how far along is she?" Edward asked.

And with two little words my world began to crumble. "Ten weeks."

**Thank you for all the reviews! I know, I know, I am a horrible person for leaving you all like this and for those of you who haven't figured it out, Bella and Carlisle were taken around two months ago, like around ten weeks …so… you can do the math. See you next time!**


	40. Chapter 40

I don't remember what happened in the minutes that followed Esme's crushing statement. There were tears, both mine and my lovers. Screaming, cursing, begging God to stop punishing us for sins that we'd committed. We'd doomed ourselves into believing that our love would carry us through anything. We were wrong, fools for putting our faith on the line.

Somehow, and I wasn't sure how, I managed to pull it together long enough to get dressed, to follow everyone out into the hallway and down to the elevator. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't look them in the eyes. The shame and disappointment would have too much to handle. Never in a million years did I imagine that one day I'd be pregnant and have three men as the possible father.

I was a whore.

Maybe not in the literal sense where I had sold my body for money, but in the sense that I'd always been so free with my feelings, that was until it cost me my soul. First with Jacob, then I let my guard down long enough for Alex to attack me, and now with Demetri. Of course, he used my children against me, knowing that I'd withstand hell if that meant keeping them safe and away from harm's way. It was one step forward, a hundred tumbles backward. When was all of this going to end?

Upon arriving back at our house, I wrapped my arms around my torso and bypassed my family, locking myself in my studio and sliding to the floor. My hands automatically dropped to my abdomen. I wanted to curse this baby, to blame him or her for the pain and anger that welled up inside of heart, but I didn't. Even though the baby I carried in my womb could be Demetri's, I couldn't bring myself to hate them. He or she was innocent and I was already in love with them. My greatest fear, however, would be whether or not this would be the end of my family. My lovers held me, reassuring me that we were okay, that it didn't matter. I didn't believe them. Would Edward and Jasper really be able to accept the baby if it came out that they weren't his or her father?

A knock on the other side of the door startled me. Cautiously, I stood up; unsure I wanted to face whoever was waiting for me. "Bella," Carlisle called. "Open the door."

I couldn't get to the door fast enough. Throwing it open, I stumbled into his arms. My tears fell, carrying everything I'd been holding inside since we left Esme's office. Carlisle shuffled me back inside my studio, reaching back with his foot and kicking the door shut. A moment later, he sunk to the floor, keeping his arms wrapped around me, but otherwise not uttering a word.

For several minutes we sat there, both of us crying. We'd carried the weight of the world on our shoulders, and while we'd been able to air a lot of grievances to Esme, William, Catherine, Edward, Jasper, and Alice, they'd never really understand anything that we went through when we were locked away in that basement. They'd never truly see why Carlisle and I needed each other, not in a sexual way, but as two people who lived in hell and somehow found their way out. Metaphorically, at least — right now, it felt like we were in hell again.

"Did they tell you?" I whispered.

"Yep," he said. I tightened my arms around him. "I hate that motherfucker even more now."

"Me too," I whimpered. "I've missed you."

Carlisle sighed. "I missed you, too. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you. They wouldn't let me call or anything."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered. "They don't trust us."

"Or believe us," he added, running his fingers down the outside of my arm. "How are you really doing?"

"Until a few hours ago, I thought I was okay, but now it feels like I'm back inside that basement," I replied, honestly. I shifted my eyes up to his. "How about you?"

Carlisle shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know. The nights are the hardest, even with Esme, William, and Catherine holding me." He shuddered, once again tightening his arm around me. "They've tried to be patient, but as you can tell from before, they're quickly getting tired of me."

"Have you talked to them? Told them everything?" I asked. Carlisle shook his head. "You should, they'd, well they wouldn't understand, but it would give them an idea of what you're thinking at least."

"I don't want them to know what I am thinking," he muttered. "They shouldn't have to listen to my ramblings anymore." Carlisle huffed. "You know what I was thinking about the other day?"

"What?"

"The first time I meet you and Alice." He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "You were so young, naïve and innocent, yet there was something about you, Bella. The way you looked at the world with hope and yearning." He paused for a moment, seeming to get lost in his thoughts. "When you showed up at the company and asked if the job offer was still on the table, I should have told you no, that you'd already had your chance."

"Why didn't you?" I asked, trying to stifle the hurt.

Carlisle sighed. "Because then I wouldn't have killed you."

"You didn't kill me, you saved me," I whispered. "It's selfish — I know this — but if you hadn't been there with me, I would have succumbed to madness already."

"Gee, glad I could help," he groused.

"Told you it was selfish," I quipped. "I just don't feel so . . . alone now. Probably makes me a bitch, but that's really nothing new, is it?"

"Not really," he chuckled. I rolled my eyes, elbowing him in the gut. "You're not a bitch, Bella. You never have been one. You're strong, usually self-assured and confident. I've always admired your ability to let go and move on when things got hard. I wish I was more like you."

"Don't," I murmured. "Don't be like me. I've fucked up so much, Carlisle."

"You haven't done anything of the sort," he scoffed.

"Haven't I?" I groused, standing up. I began to pace in front of him. "Mack and Whit are growing up and I'm too scared to hold them. Edison and Jackson are almost a year old. Instead of celebrating this milestone, I'm freaking out because I don't know how I am going to handle the party — if we even have one. Edward, Jasper, and Alice — they talk about me behind my back, hushed whispers about my sanity. I can't really blame them, of course." Stopping, I looked over at Carlisle. "How do I hold on to them now?"

"I — I don't know," he stammered. "I've been asking myself the same thing for two months. Every night, I think tomorrow I am going to start fresh. I'll force myself to smile and laugh, do everything I can to make them want me again, but I can't seem to do it."

"Carlisle, do you still love them?" I asked. "I mean, really love them?"

He blinked several times before speaking. "Bella, I can't live without them — any of them. I'm so in love with them."

"Then why are you sitting here with me?" He frowned. "Carlisle, I love you. More than I probably should. You're not just my father-in-law, anymore. Not that you ever were, I guess. Don't waste your time here with me. Go out there; tell them that you need them. Let them love you."

"I'm scared," he admitted. "I want — no need— them so much, but I'm scared that I won't ever be the man they deserve."

"You might not be, but you can give them the man you are now and let them take care of you." I held my hand out to him, which he took, and pulled him to his feet. "Carlisle, you gave me hope once. Go out there and take your lovers home. Let them prove how much they need you."

He shook his head, before leaning his forehead down onto mine. "I love you, too, you know. You're a pretty amazing woman, Bella. Don't let this one thing hold you down."

"I'll try not to," I murmured, brushing my lips across his cheek. "Go."

Carlisle turned and walked out of my studio, shutting the door behind him. Sitting back down on the cement step that led into the house, I buried my face in my hands and cried. Telling him to hold on to the ones he loved was much easier than following my own advice.

—EA—

The sound of the girls laughing pulled my attention away from the self-wallowing that I'd been hanging onto for the last few hours. Brushing the tears off my cheeks, and praying they wouldn't be able to tell that I'd been crying once again, I steeled my nerves and headed back into the living room. It didn't surprise me at all that Garrett, Kate, Rose, and Emmett was still here, or that everyone else had left. I'd hidden from them all day, unable to take the pity pouring off of them. Why should they stick around?

"Mommy, are you done painting?" Whitley asked, rushing up to me. I managed to stifle the flinch that stirred up inside of me when she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Um, yep, all done," I muttered. "How was school?"

She shrugged her shoulders, slipped her hand into mine, and dragged me over to the couch, nearly pushing me down before sitting next to me. "Mark Gregory kept pulling my hair and calling me a dork. Mrs. White made him sit out for ten minutes. He's so mean."

"Maybe he likes you," I murmured, smiling when Mackenzie climbed into my lap, laying her head on my shoulder. "Boys are really weird at that age. Come to think of it, boys are a little weird at every age."

"Are our daddies weird?" Mackenzie asked, looking up at me with her baby blue eyes shining.

I shifted my attention to where Edward and Jasper were sitting, their hands clamped together. "No, they're pretty amazing." Both of them smiled, their ears turning red. Taking a deep breath, I looked back down at Mackenzie. "Now your Uncle Emmett is another story."

"Hey," he whined, when the girls giggled. "I am not weird. I'm eccentric."

"Oh, Em, please," Alice scoffed. She was sitting on the floor with Jocelyn in her lap. "You are the model definition of weird."

"What?" he chuckled.

"Dude, I grew up with you," Alice explained. "There are stories I can tell your children, ones that you don't want them to know about."

Emmett's eyes widen, the thought of the dirt Alice had on him finally sinking in. However, before he could say anything Jocelyn, Jonah, Mackenzie, and Whitley were on their knees in front of Alice begging her to tell them everything. My heart ached, the simple moment overwhelming me. Taking a deep breath, I muttered that I'd be right back and nearly ran back into the kitchen, falling onto the kitchen cabinet with a whimper.

"You don't know how many times I've wanted you bent over the cabinet like that," Jasper teased. I shook my head and looked back at him. "You need to relax, beautiful."

"Is that what I need?" I groused, running my hands through my hair. Jasper stepped up in front of me, curving his fingers around my hips. "Jas."

"I know," he whispered, leaning in and pressing his lips to the side of my neck. "You smell delicious."

"Jas," I moaned.

Jasper nipped and sucked his way up to my ear. "Don't hide from us anymore," he whispered, causing me to shiver. "We need you."

"I don't know how to handle this," I whimpered, slipping my arms around him and hugging him.

"We don't either, but you won't do it alone, that's one thing we do know."

Jasper's lips found mine, swallowing any retort that I could come up with. Effortlessly, he lifted me, setting me on the edge of the counter. He nestled himself between my knees, his fingers digging into my hips. I moaned, unable to keep the sound from reverberating from my mouth. His kiss varied from being soft and gentle one moment to hard and demanding the next. He had me reeling, tittering on the edge between madness and perfection.

"Jas, Bella . . ." At the sound of Alice's voice, he pulled back from me, releasing a heavy breath before looking back at her. She stood in the doorway, a teasing smile twitching at the corner of her mouth. "We're ordering in for dinner. Chinese sound okay?"

"Sounds good to me, baby," Jasper said, turning back to me. "Bella?" I nodded, unable to speak. "We'll take our usual's."

"Okay," she chirped before leaving us alone.

My shoulders slumped forward and I rested my head on Jasper's shoulder. "Why do I feel ashamed about what just happened?" I asked without realizing the words were actually coming out of my mouth. "It was just a kiss. We've shared thousands of them over the years."

"Because you're afraid," he murmured, tilting my head back so he could look me directly in the eyes. "You don't have to be afraid of us, any of us, Bella."

"I know that logically," I whispered. "I need you, Jas. You know that, don't you?"

"I do, and Alice and Edward know it, too. Now, we'd better get out there before I act out one of my greatest fantasies and ravish you right here. You really have no idea how sexy you are, beautiful."

My cheeks warmed from his attention. "I love you, Jas."

"I love you, too."

—EA—

The rest of the evening went by in peaceful bliss, or as peaceful as it could with an elephant in the room. None of us mentioned the fact that I was pregnant, or the possibility that neither Edward nor Jasper were the father. They didn't need to; it was all I could think about. Emmett and Alice kept the kids entertained with stories from their childhood, mostly from their days in Chicago. When they ran out of stories, Kate piped up with some of Edward. However, Rose didn't utter one word about me. Perhaps, she was afraid that I'd lose it again, or our childhood memories didn't compare to theirs. Either way, I didn't mind. I was tired of being the center of attention.

Just before ten, Edison and Jackson started fussing. They were tired, having been shuffled from the arms of their grandparents into Jared's care when my world came crashing down on me. He and Embry had dropped the boys off, but insisted that they couldn't stay for dinner. I tried not to take it personally, but I knew it was. Neither of them wanted to make things harder for me, both trying to give me the time to heal and come to terms with everything.

"I'm gonna get these two to bed," I murmured, standing up with them in my arms.

"Want some help?" Alice asked.

Shaking my head, I whispered, "No, I want to do it, but thanks."

With my sons nestled in my arms, I started up the stairs, being extra careful not to drop them. They were heavy, their combined weight coming in at just over forty pounds. Once I was in their room, I set them on their changing table, keeping one hand on them while I reached over and grabbed two fresh diapers and two pairs of pajamas. Edward had insisted when we began setting up their room that the changing tables be close to their dresser, making it easier for him to dress both boys every morning.

The boys rubbed their eyes while I got them ready for bed. Picking Jackson up first, then Edison, I carried him over to his bed, kissing his forehead and laying him on the mattress. Jackson's eyes opened and closed a few times before sliding to a shut for good. Tucking the blanket up around him, I turned and stepped over to Edison's crib. He whimpered as I laid him inside, his hands reaching up for me. Tears filled my eyes as I grabbed them, placing a kiss on his tiny fingers. Just like I did his brother, I tucked the blanket up around him. Before I left their room, I turned on their nightlight, whispering, "Sweet dreams, my beautiful boys."

Closing their door quietly, I turned and gasped, not expecting to find Jasper standing across the hallway from me. Without a word, he reached out and grabbed my hips, pulling me into his embrace once again. His lips found mine immediately. Before I knew what was happening, I felt myself being laid on our bed. Jasper had lifted me and carried me into our bedroom, but I was too wrapped up in him to even notice.

He leaned away from me just long enough to pull his tee shirt over his head and drop it onto the floor. My breath caught in my chest when his fingers grazed over the hem of mine. "Do you trust me, Bella?"

"With everything," I murmured, sitting up. Lifting my arms in the air, I allowed him to take my shirt off. He tossed it over his shoulder, letting it fall with his. In a matter of minutes we were both naked, lying side by side under the covers. Slowly, methodically, his lips found mine once again. This kiss differed from the one we'd shared in the kitchen. Jasper allowed me to set the pace, giving me the control I struggled so much to regain.

The sound of the door opening and closing drew our attention. Alice and Edward were standing just inside our bedroom, watching us with smiles. Jasper slid an arm out from under the blankets, reaching for them. They shucked off their clothes, climbing into the bed behind us.

Our hands moved over each other's bodies without much care of who we were touching, just that we were touching someone. From the need rolling off of them, I knew they were just as frantic as I was to reconfirm our relationship, to make each other believe that no matter what happened in seven months, we were a family.

So we made love, alternating partners, each of us tasting, feeling, and loving on each other. Our bodies trembled with need, longing, and desperation. As we settled into our bed, still covered with sweat, three hands came down to rest on my abdomen. The simple gesture was enough — for now.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I giggled and cackled while reading them. Does that make me evil? To the girls in my Facebook group, you're welcome for all the teasing! If you haven't joined us over there, what are you waiting for? Just do a search for Fans of Butterfly Betty. In case you haven't noticed, FF is cracking down on a lot of stories, so if any of mine disappear, you can find me over on TWCS under the same penname. Let's hope I am able to stay under the radar.**


	41. Chapter 41

I stood in front of the oak chervil mirror in the corner of our bedroom, smoothing down the front of my grey T-shirt. It'd been two weeks since I found out I was pregnant, two weeks since my world had once again erupted into mass ciaos. Turning to the side, I lifted the hem of my shirt, noticing the small bump between my hips. At twelve weeks, I'd already begun to show. Having already been pregnant twice, and all the weight I'd lost over the last few months, I wasn't really surprised to see the slight protrusion of my belly. Though, the only people who would notice were me, Edward, Jasper, and Alice. Everyone else tried as hard as they could not to stare at me.

They failed.

"Baby, are you ready?" Edward asked. I looked over my shoulder, finding him, Jasper, and Alice standing in the doorway to our bedroom.

"I'm not sure I can do this," I muttered, clenching my hands into tight fists. Alice, Jasper, and Edward all sighed, moving in around me. "It's too soon."

"It's not," Alice disagreed. "And you can do this. We're going to be with you the entire time."

Shaking my head, I swallowed against the bile rising in my throat. Jasper reached up and cupped my face, turning me so that I was looking at him. "Beautiful, we're not leaving you. You can't hide inside this house anymore. It's time."

"People will stare at me," I whispered, struggling to keep the tears from falling once again.

"Baby, we can't promise you that nobody will look at you. What we can promise is that we're not going to leave you," Edward said. "The girls need you to do this."

"That's not fair," I grumbled. "Using the girls against me like that."

"No, it's not, but it's the truth," he replied. "You can't hide from life."

I knew they were right, so I nodded my head and whispered, "Okay, I'll go,"

Edward, Jasper, and Alice let out a relieved sigh. Alice slipped her hand into mine and dragged me out of our bedroom, down the stairs, and into the living room. Mackenzie and Whitley were sitting on the couch, watching cartoons while the boys were in the playpen. They looked over at me, smiling but not saying anything about my latest freak out. They didn't need to. I already knew I was a major disappointment to my children.

Today, we were celebrating the boys' first birthdays. Edison had just turned one, while Jackson still had a couple months to go. Though I wasn't sure I could handle it, we were meeting everyone at the beach, and then afterwards, Embry and Jared were taking all the kids to their house for a slumber party, as the girls referred to it. While they kept our children, the rest of us were planning on heading to Mike's for a late dinner. I loved my boys, but I wasn't sure I was ready to be around everyone for such a long time, and I felt guilty for Embry and Jared keeping them all the time.

"Are we ready?" Edward asked, pulling the girls' attention away from the television. They both looked from him to me, their smiles growing.

"Yep," Whitley chirped, standing up. She walked over and turned off the set.

Jasper and Alice grabbed the boys and carried them out to the van while I followed Edward and the girls. Whitley grabbed my hand and pulled me into the backseat with her and Mackenzie. The suddenness of the movement had me tensing, but I tried to hide it from them. I don't think it worked. Sliding my hand out of her grip, I folded mine in my lap and tried to calm the panic racing toward the surface. She was my daughter, I shouldn't be afraid of her.

"Everyone ready?" Jasper asked, turning in the passenger seat and looking right at me.

I nodded, a low whisper slipping out of my mouth, "Yes."

"YES!" the girls cheered, causing the boys to giggle.

Edward adjusted the rear view mirror, probably trying to make sure that I wasn't suddenly going to go nuts and toss one of the girls out of the car, before he stared the van and pulled out of the driveway. The ride to the beach was spent with the girls gabbing about how they wanted to swim in the ocean, build a sandcastle, bury Charlie in the sand. I tried to listen to them, give them all of my attention, but with each mile that we drove, all I could think about was being around so many people and how wide open the beach was. It was taking every bit of my control not to let the bile tumble from my mouth.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Edward parked next to Charlie's black SUV. The girls were out of their seats and the van before he'd been able to shift into park. Jasper managed to wrap an arm around them both, stopping them from taking off down the beach without anyone with them. Climbing out first, Alice unbuckled the boys from their car seats, handing Jackson to Edward before heaving Edison up on her hip.

"Girls, you know better than to run off without one of us with you," Alice said, frowning. "Now, we know you're excited, so are we, but you can't do that, okay?"

"Yes, Mommy," they muttered.

"Sorry," Mackenzie added.

"It's okay. Just let us get everything from the van and then we will head down to where everyone is waiting," Edward said, the calm, pleasing tone in his voice bringing a final word to the issue. It was just one of the reasons I loved him. He never lost his cool with them, always able to defuse a situation before it escalated into madness. Looking over at me, he smiled. He was amazing, and he was ours.

Edward clapped his hands together and said, "Everyone grab something."

The girls grabbed the basket of beach toys, while Jasper and I lugged our bags onto our shoulders and followed Edward, Alice, and the girls up the beach. As soon as they spotted their grandparents, the girls took off running, dragging the basket through the sand. They reached Carlisle first, who was sitting on the edge of the blanket with his knees pulled up in front of him. He barely had time to react when Mackenzie and Whitley threw themselves in his arms.

"Papa, we've missed you," Mackenzie exclaimed, curling up in his lap with Whitley sitting on her legs. Both girls had their arms around his neck, though his were still down around his side. He looked up, tears filling his eye, meeting my gaze. Slowly, he brought his arms up, hugging them back.

"I've missed you, too," he choked out. I had to turn away, watching him hold my daughters pulled at my heart. "Tell me what you've been doing lately."

While the girls filled Carlisle in on every move they'd made over the last three months, Alice and Edward set the boys down in the middle of the patch-work of blankets that covered the ground. Esme and Charlotte kissed and hugged them both before turning toward me. Esme held her hand out to me, but I shook my head and took off down toward the water. I needed a moment to myself, a moment to regain some sense of control over my raging emotions. I wasn't sure if it was the fear from the attack, or the hormones surging through my body, but I was struggling more today than I had been. Just one more step backward.

"Let's go for a walk," Embry said, slipping his hand into mine and pulling me further down the beach before I could protest. Tugging my hand out of his, I folded my arms in front of me, but kept walking with him. "It's nice here, isn't it?" He stopped, letting the water wash over his feet. "Kind of peaceful?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I suppose."

"You okay?" he asked, his tone softening. "Been really worried about you."

"Yeah, I know. Everyone has been so worried about me," I muttered, looking at him. "No, I'm not okay. Everything is fucked up again, Embry."

"Not everything," he said, looking back to where everyone was sitting. I followed his gaze. Carlisle had the Edison and Jackson in his lap, while Mackenzie, Whitley, Jonah, Jocelyn, and Clayton were sitting in a semi-circle in front of him. I wasn't sure what he was telling them, but even from the distance I could tell they were laughing. "He almost looks happy."

"Almost," I murmured.

"Look, Bella, I know I'm talking out of line here, but you need to come back to work." I shifted my attention to Embry. "We miss you."

"Who? Who misses me? The same people who gawked at me and tried to imagine me naked? Or the ones who talked about me when I came back the first time?" Embry's grimace grew with each question I asked. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"I miss you," he murmured, almost looking embarrassed. "You took a chance on me, Bella, when not a lot of companies would have. I was struggling artist with no real experience, and from what I've been told, quite the smart mouth."

"No shit," I snickered. "Why do you think I hired you?"

"Then, don't leave us," he replied. "I can't even begin to understand how much you must be hurting. The beating I took the night Jared came to my rescue doesn't compare to the violation you and Carlisle went though, I know that, but it's really easy to let the anger take control of you."

"Don't you think I know that?" I groused. "This isn't the first time some asshat has hurt me, Embry. For some reason, these . . . bastards feel that it's okay to swipe at my soul. Only, this time, instead of just using his fists, he . . ." I took a deep breath. "I want to be the same Bella that I was three months ago, but I can't. They killed her."

"No, they merely tried, but you're the only one who can allow yourself to die, Bella." Embry leaned over and kissed the side of my head. "I miss my friend and I look forward to when she's back."

Embry left me standing at the shoreline and ran back over to join the rest of the party. I stood there, trying to stop the tears from pouring down my face. The last thing everyone needed to see was me sobbing like a baby. They already thought I was losing my mind. Perhaps they were right.

"Bella!" Alice yelled. I looked back at her. She was holding two plastic pales, one red and the other yellow. "Come on."

Dragging my hands through my hair, I took a calming breath and walked over to where she and the girls were sitting. Sliding into the sand next to Whitley, I tucked my knees up to my chest and watched while she and Mackenzie attempted to build a sandcastle.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Alice asked, shifting her gaze up to mine. "It's not too hot, too cool. Almost perfect."

I nodded. "It's great."

Alice smirked, rolling up onto her knees and crawling through the sand. She had to gather her skirt, showing off her legs. I bit back a moan. Alice had great legs. Settling down next to me, she leaned up to my ear. "Have I told you that you look good enough to eat today?"

"Alice," I gasped, looking at the girls before turning back to her.

"They didn't hear me," she snickered. "Just saying, I've entertained the thought of dragging you back into the van and having my wicked way with you."

My mouth opened and closed several times, my cheeks turning bright red. "Oh."

"Hmm, I love that shade of red on you, baby." Alice leaned up, sucking on my earlobe. "Makes me wet."

"Alice!" I squeaked louder than I thought.

"What's going on over there?" Edward asked, cocking an eyebrow at me and Alice.

Jasper looked over, too, as did everyone else. Charlie and Peter were sitting next to each other, their fingers intertwined and a look of happiness on their faces. Maybe it was the love they felt for each other, or having everyone together. I wasn't sure which, and I didn't really care. My father had found love in Peter's arms, just as Renee had with Charlotte.

Rose and Kate were unpacking the cooler of food they'd brought, while Emmett and Garrett were trying to get Clay and Jonah to go in the water with them. Embry had settled down next to Jared, his head was resting on his lover's shoulder. Renee and Charlotte had Edison and Jackson in their laps, while Esme and Catherine were sitting with Jocelyn. Carlisle sat next to William, looking more relaxed than I'd seen him in months.

With all their attention on me and Alice, my blush deepened. "Um, nothing."

"Yeah, just a little girl talk," Alice said, giggling.

"Mommy, I need to go potty," Mackenzie whined, standing up and grabbing at herself.

"I'll take you," I blurted out, grabbing her hand and dragging her toward the public bathrooms.

"Me too, Mommy!" Whitley shrieked, chasing after us. She grabbed onto my other hand and we trekked off, leaving them sitting there staring at me.

The public bathrooms weren't too far. We'd learned when the girls were little that when we came to the beach, we always picked a spot close to the building. Luckily, the line was short and I had them in a stall within two minutes. I waited outside, listening to them giggling together. The door to the bathroom opened and Alice came in, her smirk still resting on her lips. My breath caught in my chest.

"Everything okay in here?" she purred, sliding her hand down my arm, lifting my hand up to her lips. She pressed her lips against the palm of my hand, before lowering it down under her skirt. She was wearing a pair of silky panties, which of course caused me to moan. She was teasing me. "Hmm, baby, everything okay?"

"Yeah," I moaned. Before I could do more than feel the outside of her panties the sound of the girls flushing echoed inside the room. Alice dropped my hand, taking a huge step back. I brought my hand up to my lips, licking against the flavor of her still there. Her panties had been soaked.

"Come on, girls. Papa's buying ice cream," Alice giggled.

In a flash the girls were out of the stall, had washed their hands, and had taken off back up the beach with Alice following them. I stood there with my mouth gaping open. My wife had left me wanting more of her. She was being extraordinarily mean.

By the time I caught up to them, they'd already gotten their frozen treats. The girls had chosen fudge bars and had it all over their faces. Edward and Jasper tried to feed the boys their popsicles, but neither Edison nor Jackson were having that. They were too busy grabbing the cherry and grape flavored sticks. With a sigh, they both gave up and let the boys go at it. I think they got more sand in their mouths than popsicles. I settled on the edge of the blanket and watched my family celebrating together.

—EA—

By the time Embry and Jared loaded all the kids into our van, the boys were exhausted, Mackenzie and Whitley sand in their hair, Jonah had a scrape on his knee, Jocelyn had a kool-aide mustache, and Clayton had ketchup stain on his white T-shirt.

"Are you sure you two can handle all the kids on your own?" I asked. Embry huffed and glared at me. "I'm just asking!"

"No, you're worrying," he scoffed. "Now, look here, Bella. We'll be fine. We're gonna get them home and cleaned up. We've already got the living room set up so that all of them but Edison and Jackson can sleep on the floor. I bet we'll get through half a movie before all of them are asleep. Besides, it's not the first time Jared and I have kept them all."

Shifting my eyes to the ground, I sighed. "Yeah, I know, but you shouldn't have to."

"Hey, look at me," he ordered. When I refused, he placed two fingers under my chin and tilted my head back. "We love those kids — all of them, Bella. Clayton likes having them around, and so do we. Now, please, just go out with the others and enjoy yourself. Have some fun, and, for fuck sake, smile."

"Embry," I whispered, reaching up and fisting his T-shirt. "Jared's a lucky man to have you."

"Nah, honey, I'm the lucky one." He smiled and for the second time that day, he leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. "Love you, Bella. Even if you are a little messed up right now."

"Love you, too, you ass," I muttered, pushing him away.

"Hey, don't be talking about my ass," Embry snickered.

Jared wrapped his arms around him from behind. "Yeah, Bella, his ass is mine."

"Ugh, you two," I laughed. "If you need us, please call. Promise?"

Embry and Jared both sighed. "We promise, Bella," Jared quipped. "Now get out of here and have some fun."

"I'll try," I grumbled. I stood at the edge of the parking lot and watched while they drove off with our children. A pair of arms wrapped around me from behind. The familiar tingle had me smiling. "They'll be okay, right?"

"Of course they will," Edward murmured, pressing his lips against my ear. "And so will you."

"Will I?"

"Yes, baby. You had fun today, didn't you?"

I nodded. "It was nice."

"Just nice?" Edward smiled against the side of my neck. I shivered. "Cold?"

"No, not cold, and it was more than nice," I moaned. Edward sucked and nibbled on my skin. "Gah, what are you doing to me!"

Edward chuckled and pulled his lips from my skin. "Just loving you. Now, I'm fucking starving. Let's go eat."

"Okay," I agreed.

Edward held my hand as he led me over to Jared's car. Since he and Embry had taken all the kids, they took our van and we'd drive their Impala. Jasper and Alice were already in the backseat so Edward opened the passenger side door for me, winking at me as I slid in. Turning in the seat, I smiled when I saw Alice and Jasper wrapped in each other's arms. For the last few months, I'd been so wrapped up in myself that I'd forgotten just how much they loved each other.

Alice caught me staring, and her smirk returned. "See something you like?"

"Mmhmm," I hummed, feeling my cheeks warm. Jasper brought his lips down on the side of her neck, while his hand slowly traveled up her leg. He pushed her skirt up, revealing her red, silky panties. She knew how much I fucking loved her in those panties. His fingers dipped inside of her, causing me to gasp and Alice to moan. Without taking his lips off of her, he held his fingers up to me. "Jas."

"Do it, baby," Edward groaned. I looked at him, noticing that he had one hand stroking his hard cock. "Fucking do it for me."

Licking my lips, I turned back to Jasper's fingers. I leaned forward, letting them slide into my mouth.

"Oh, damn, baby, that's hot." Edward moaned again.

Once I had Jasper's fingers clean, I let them fall from my mouth. He finally pulled away from Alice's neck, and smiled. "Taste good?"

I closed my eyes. "Like heaven."

Ten minutes later, Edward pulled up in front of Mike's. We'd come here so much that we didn't even bother with the valet service, choosing to park ourselves. Edward cut the engine and climbed out, adjusting himself. He rushed around to my side, opening the door and offering me his hand. Edward nestled me against him the minute I climbed out of the car. He crushed his lips down against mine, dominating my mouth. It wasn't until Alice and Jasper cleared their throats that Edward pulled away.

"You're so fucking sexy, baby," he murmured, his breath coming out husky.

"Oh, um, thank you?" I don't know why I made it sound like a question.

Brushing his lips across mine again, Edward laughed. "Let's go eat."

Edward held my hand while we followed Alice and Jasper into Mike's. The hostess smiled at us, motioning for us to head on back to one of the private rooms. However, before we made it halfway across the restaurant, Alice twirled out of Jasper's arm and grabbed my hand, dragging me toward the ladies room.

The minute the door was closed, she had me pressed against it. She pushed my shirt up, pulling the cup on my white, lace bra off and exposing my breast to her. Before I could say anything, she had her lips wrapped around my nipple.

"Ali," I moaned.

"Gah, I need you so fucking much, baby."

In a move that even surprised me, I shifted us so that I had Alice against the wall, the weight of my body against hers. My hand drifted down below her skirt and into her red silky panties. The ones she'd been teasing me with all day. The moment my fingers touched her soaking lips, she cried out. I covered her mouth with mine, not wanting to bring any attention to what I was doing to my girl. My tongue invaded her mouth, exploring like it was the first time I'd ever kissed her and not the millionth.

Pulling back just slightly, I whispered, "Shh, can't be loud, baby."

"Please," she whimpered. I smirked and dropped to my knees in front of her. Keeping my eyes on hers, I slid my hands up her legs until I gripped the sides of her panties. "Hurry, Bella, please!"

"So impatient," I tittered, slowly slipping her panties down her legs. Alice stepped out of them, bunching her skirt up at her waist. Her bald pussy was glimmering with her arousal, her sweet aroma wafting toward me. In all my self-wallowing, I'd forgotten just how amazing my girl smelled. Lifting my eyes once again to hers, I leaned in and licked her once, tasting her juice on my tongue for the first time in months. A throaty moan slipped out of my mouth. My girl tasted fantastic; sweet and sensual.

Alice brought her hand down to the back of my head, weaving her fingers in my hair and guiding me as I slipped my tongue in between her wet folds. It'd been too long since I've feasted on her, letting my fear of not being enough for her get the better of me. I was hers, the only woman who'd ever been between her legs. The only one who ever would be, too. Alice was mine, and I was hers.

I lifted her left leg, pulling it onto my shoulder and diving into her. Alice was panting, grinding herself against my mouth and tongue. Sliding my other hand up, I shoved two fingers deep into her pussy, curving them and hitting her sweet spot.

"Oh fuck, Bella!" she gasped. "I'm so close, please don't stop."

"Never, baby," I moaned, lapping at her clit as I pumped my fingers in and out of her. "God, I love your pussy so fucking much."

"I can tell," she groaned. "I've missed you like this. Your tongue is fucking magical."

"Oh, yeah?" I purred, suckling on her clit. "Baby, cum for me, just for me."

"Fuck!" she called out. Her body began to tremble as she let go and found her release. I sucked and licked everything she gave me, savoring the taste of her on my tongue. Once she'd ridden out her orgasm, I pulled her leg off my shoulder and stood up. Alice shimmied her panties back on. "Damn, baby, you made me cum so hard."

"Good," I murmured, feeling my face warm up. I shoved my breast back into my bra and smoothed out my shirt. Suddenly, the awkwardness of the situation dawned on me. "We, um, we'd better get back out there."

"Hey, look at me," Alice said, sliding her fingers under my chin. I shifted my eyes to her. "That was wonderful, Bella. Thank you."

"I liked it," I whispered. "A lot."

"Me too." Alice smirked, before pushing up on her toes and kissing me chastely. "I love you, Bella."

My blush deepened. "I love you, too, Ali."

Once Alice had her skirt back on correctly, she slipped her hand into mine and led me out of the bathroom. As we approached our table, nobody seemed to have noticed our disappearance — nobody but Edward and Jasper, of course. Jasper stood up and had me in his arms the moment we got in arm's length. He crushed his mouth down against mine, moaning at the taste of Alice still lingering on my lips.

"You two have been playing without us," he groaned just loud enough for me to hear. My breath caught in my chest. "Tell me, beautiful, did you get her off?"

"Yes," I murmured.

Jasper moaned, pressing his body against mine. "When we get home, I am going to do such naughty things to you." I gasped, causing him to laugh. "Wonderfully, naughty things."

"Oh," I squeaked, unsure of what else to day. "Um, okay."

A deep rumble erupted from his chest as he kissed me one more time. Sliding my chair out, he ushered me into the chair, keeping his arm draped over the back. On the other side of him, Edward sat with a smirk on his lips and his arm around Alice, who looked quite pleased with herself. My face heated up even more. My lovers were enjoying this a little too much, and for the first time in almost three months, so was I.

"Hello, everyone!" Mike sang, busting into the room with a huge smile on his face. His eyes fell on me, the grin growing wider. "Based on the golden hues to your faces, I take it you had a good time at the beach."

"It was nice," Renee said. "The kids were worn out."

"We were sorry you and Tyler couldn't come," Catherine added, dropping her hand on Carlisle's knee. He tensed up, though I think I was the only one who noticed. Either that, or they just ignored it.

"Yes, we were, too, but unfortunately with Marco leaving, I had to help cover in the kitchen. My poor Ty has been working so hard at the record company." Mike sighed and shook his head. "Anyway, he sends his love to all of you. Now, order anything you want, and it's all on the house." He shifted his eyes to me again. "And no arguing, Bella. I insist."

I rolled my eyes as everyone laughed. "Fine, whatever."

Mike was still chuckling as he left is alone. A few minutes later, our waiter came back; looking overwhelmed at the number of us, and took our orders. Every time he looked at me, Jasper would brush his fingers across the back of my arm, his gentle way of reminding me that he was there and it was okay. I almost believed him.

"This is nice," Charlie said, breaking the silence around us. Shifting in his seat, he turned to face Charlotte, winking at her. "Been a while since we've all been out like this."

"Yeah, too long," Peter chuckled. Carlisle ran his hand through nervously through his hair. I knew what he was thinking. We hadn't been out like this because of us, because we'd gone crazy and nobody knew how to help us. "Work has been a real bitch lately."

"Yeah, Dad," Jasper scoffed. "You have such a hard life as a writer."

"No shit," I muttered, feeling every pair of eyes turning to look at me. "I mean, you and Charlie probably spend more time in bed than you do working."

"That is . . . probably true," Charlie snickered. "But, hey, it's for research purposes."

"Ew," Rose and Jasper muttered.

I smiled. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Dad."

Charlie rolled his eyes, but the sparkle in his eyes gave him away. He'd enjoyed our little banter. So had I.

"Can you believe that it's already Halloween?" William asked. "Before we know it, Thanksgiving will be here."

"Yeah, crazy," Carlisle murmured. "Seems like just yesterday that we were sitting here discussing the kids first day of school."

"Has Mrs. White been giving them any more trouble?" Renee wondered, looking between me and Rose.

"Not that we've noticed." Rose shrugged her shoulders. "It seems like ever since . . ." She trailed off and looked at me. "Well, lately, she's been more considerate of the kids."

"That's, um, well, that's great," Renee stammered. Bringing my hand up to the collar of my shirt, I dropped my gaze to the table. I'd been so wrapped up in myself that I hadn't considered how this had effect the girls at school. Just one more way that I'd fucked everything up in their lives.

"I miss Ilha Grande," I murmured, letting my hand fall into my lap. I could feel their eyes on me, but I couldn't look up at them. "It was so peaceful there. Nothing to worry about, but the wedding and looking forward to the future. We were able to just . . . I don't know, mellow out. It's like the moment we left, fate decided to punish us for being greedy little whores."

"Is that what you think?" At the sounds of Garrett's voice, I looked up. "That what happened to you is because you deserved to be punished?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I was greedy. First, the accident nearly killed me, stole almost a year of my life from me. Then, just as I thought everything was going to be okay, that crazy bitch, Kelly came after me. Why? Because I was happy, because I gave into my desire."

"No, she did what she did because she was envious of you," Garrett argued. I snorted. "It's the truth, Bella. You don't see how beautiful your life is!"

"Beautiful?" I yelled, slamming my hand on the table. Everyone but Garrett flinched back. "My life is a clusterfuck, Gar. Jacob beat me because I dared to talk to another man, and I had to leave everything I knew behind. Then, just when I was able to fully open my heart to Edward, Jasper, and Alice — Alex tried to kill me for helping Kate!" She flinched again. "I'm sorry, Kate, I don't mean to be a bitch, but it's the truth. I put myself on the line for you and it nearly cost me everything."

"I know, Bella," she said, nodding. "Every morning when I wake up in my lovers' arms, I am thankful for you."

"Don't be," I snarked. Taking a deep breath, I pushed away from the table and stood up. "Even before Carlisle and I were taken, before we knew anyone was after me, my life was falling apart. The company was wearing me down, the girls needed me but every night I had a stack of work to do. My sons giggled and played, where was I? Working as usual. Every one of you told me how I was going to miss out, and you were right. They're growing up and I'm missing it all."

"You don't have to," Emmett replied. I looked at him. "Sorry, I'm not going to sugar coat any of this. You're the one who is pushing everyone way. We've all tried to be there for you and Carlisle, but neither of you is letting us."

"You're such an ass," Carlisle muttered, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Tell me, Emmett, the last time you found yourself locked away in hell how'd it feel? Hmm? How'd it feel to have to sit there and watch them . . ." Carlisle let his words hang in the air as he stood up. "I was scared to let my grandchildren hug me," he said. Esme grabbed his hand. "They're so beautiful and innocent. I didn't want to corrupt them, but the moment they were in my arms this morning . . ." He shook his head. "I don't want to push you away, but I don't know how to trust myself anymore, either."

"You trust Bella," Kate chirped.

Carlisle nodded. "I do, because she fought for me."

"We're trying to," Kate whimpered. "Daddy." Carlisle snapped his head up, looking at her. "After Alex, you told me that no matter what, you'd always be my daddy, that you loved me, and were here anytime I needed you. Now, I am telling you the same thing. I love you, Daddy. Anytime you need me, I am here."

Carlisle fell back into his seat, covering his mouth with his hand. "Honey, I love you, too. I just don't want to be a disappointment to you anymore."

"Oh, Daddy," Kate cried, rushing around the table and throwing herself into Carlisle's waiting embrace. "You've never been a disappointment to me. You're the bravest, strongest man I've ever known. Watching you and Mom letting go of what society has told you and loving William and Catherine," she shook her head, "I would never have been able to let Rose, Emmett, and Garrett love me if you hadn't told me it was okay."

"Can you forgive me for pushing you away?" Carlisle asked.

"There's nothing to forgive." Kate kissed his cheek. "And it's okay to be scared, but you have to let us help you."

"Dad," Edward said, his voice low and gruff. Kate moved away from Carlisle, leaving nobody between the two. Swallowing thickly, Carlisle turned to Edward and I could see the tears swimming in his eyes. "Dad, I . . ."

"I know," Carlisle muttered. "I let you down. You trusted me to keep her safe, to protect her, and I failed. Believe me, I know, Edward."

"No, you don't know." Edward ran a hand over his face. "I was angry because Bella needed you more than me, than us. It wasn't fair of me to be angry, but I was. Bella, Alice, and Jasper — they're my life. Our family is everything to me and those bastards took a part of us away. When you called us, when we finally got to you again, it wasn't us that she needed." Edward looked up at Carlisle. "It was you and I hated you for it."

"Edward," I whispered.

"No, Bella, I did." Edward's voice cracked. "It was easier to think that you'd slept together than to believe that we weren't enough."

"Edward, you know that's not true, though, don't you?" Carlisle asked. "Bella and I, we never—"

"No, I know that now," Edward replied, holding his hand up. "But she still needs you in ways that we can't understand."

"I don't know how to respond to that." Sighing, Carlisle stood up. His hands were clenched tightly by his side. "You make me feel guilty for needing to protect her."

"Protect her from who? Us?" Jasper asked. Carlisle stopped and looked at him. "That day at the office, you hit Alice, you pushed Edward. Why? Did you think they were going to hurt her?"

"I — I don't know." Carlisle frowned. "She needed me. I saw it in her eyes."

"I did," I admitted. It wasn't until they looked at me that I realized I'd pressed myself against the wall. "But not because I thought that you'd hurt me."

"Then why?" Alice stood up and walked over to me. "Baby, why?"

"Because I let Demetri rape me," I told her, speaking his name for the first time in three months. "And a part of me blamed you."

"What?" Edward asked, standing up. "Why?"

I shook my head, regretting my admission. But I knew that it was too late to take it back. "Because you promised to keep me safe, and you didn't. I kept telling you that he was out there, that he'd find me, but you kept telling me that you wouldn't let anything happen to me. You didn't keep your promise."

"It's not like we didn't want to," Jasper said, his lips trembling. "Beautiful, we didn't know."

"No, I know that, Jas, but there were all these feelings and . . ." I took a deep breath. "I didn't trust myself. The only reason I could handle Carlisle holding me was because he gave himself to her so that she wouldn't kill me. He fought Demetri for me, knowing that if he didn't kill him first, then we'd be next. Carlisle was prepared to give up everything for me. You're right, I do need him, but I need you more."

"You do?" Edward cried. "Do you really?"

Nodding, I felt my tears sprinkle down my cheeks. "I love you — all three of you. From the moment we met, the four of us have had this passionate love that, honestly, overwhelms me sometimes. I want that again." Shaking my head, I laughed. "I need to be able to kiss you without feeling like the next breath I take is going to be the last one I have with you."

"Oh, baby." Edward crossed the room, caging me against the wall by placing his arms on either side of me. Before I could utter a sound, he crushed his mouth down on mine, thrusting his tongue in between my lips. My hands automatically came up, tangling themselves in his hair. "Oh, fuck, Bella. How can you not see how much we need you to be here with us?"

I smiled. "Most of the time, I do. Sometimes, I get scared. Overwhelmed with everything and I tend to be a little dramatic."

"A little?" Jasper smirked, resting his chin on Edward's shoulder. He reached around him, placing his hands on my hips. "Baby, you've never been just a little dramatic, but that's just one of the many things we love about you."

"No shit," Alice giggled, joining our group hug. She brought her hand up to my face. "Baby, you and I have been through so much together. Did I leave you when Jacob tried to come between us?"

"No."

"Or when James hit on you?" she cocked an eyebrow. I shook my head, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth. "You've had more than your fair share of hurt, I'll admit that, but never once have I left you when things got hard and I sure as hell am not going to start now. Bella, I love you. Jasper and Edward, they love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered.

A cleared throat broke through our tender moment. We looked over to find our waiter, plus three more, standing in the doorway of the small banquet room. "Sorry to interrupt," he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"It's okay," I said, trying to sound more confident than I was.

Nodding, he began to place our food in front of us. None of us moved until he and the three behind him had our food on the table and had left. Edward brushed his lips across mine once more before slipping his hand into mine and pulled me toward the table.

"Edward," Carlisle said, reaching out of his son. "I . . ."

"It's okay, Dad," Edward murmured, grabbing Carlisle's hand.

"No, it's not," he sighed. "You're my son and I hurt you."

"You did," Edward admitted. "But you were scared, I get that."

"That's no excuse," Carlisle grumbled.

"Maybe not, but we can't change it." Edward released my hand and pulled his father into a one-armed hug. Carlisle's muffled sob echoed throughout the room. "But, Dad, I love you, and we're going to be okay."

"I love you, too," Carlisle wept, hugging Edward back. "I'm really proud of the man you are."

"Thanks," Edward mumbled, pulling back. "We don't have to settle everything right now. Next week, maybe we can have lunch or something."

Carlisle smiled, and brushed the tears off his cheeks. "I'd like that. A lot."

"Me too."

—EA—

By the time we got home, we were exhausted; yet, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Too much had been said at dinner and my nerves were on the edge. I felt a great sense of relief, like the pressure to be perfect had been lifted off my shoulders. We may not be where we were before I was swept away into hell, but we were going to work through it together — like we have everything.

Edward unlocked the front door, motioning for us to go in first. I turned on the entry room light, setting my bag down, kicking it under the table next to the door, and turned toward Alice, Edward, and Jasper. Edward had his arms around Alice, his chin resting on the top of her head.

"It's been a long day," I said.

"Yeah, it has." Jasper smiled and walked over to me, sliding his arm around my waist. "I'm proud of you, beautiful."

"Why?" I wondered. "I didn't do anything."

"See, that's where you are wrong," he grumbled. "You left the house; you took care of the girls when they needed you. Damn, Bella, you're just amazing." My cheeks warmed, causing him to groan. "And you've been killing me all day with that blush."

"You know I can't help it," I mumbled. "You three do everything you can to redden my face, too."

"Would we do that?" Alice asked, innocently.

"Um, yeah," I scoffed. "You, my love, teased me all day."

Alice feigned a gasp, placing her hand on the top of her breast. "Me? I would never do anything of the sort. You, however, have me yearning to taste you."

A shiver ran through me. "Ali," I breathed.

She smirked as she walked over to me, taking my hand and pulling me out of Jasper's arms. "Come on, baby."

"Where are we going?" I whispered. Instead of replying with her words, she turned and pressed her lips against mine, her free hand sliding around and grabbing my ass. I moaned, pressing my body against hers.

Alice giggled as she leaned away. "Do you trust me, Bella?"

"With everything," I replied.

"Then come with me." Alice kissed me once more before turning and pulling me toward the stairs.

Edward and Jasper followed closely, all of us waiting for what Alice was planning. She led us into our bedroom, pushing me down on the bed. I leaned up on my elbows and watched her strip off her skirt and tank top, leaving her in just those red, silky panties and nothing else. She was sensational.

Alice crawled up on the bed, straddling my legs. I fell back against the blankets, my hands sliding up to her hips. Keeping her eyes locked on mine, she slid her hands up my shirt, managing to get it off of me without much effort. "Do you know why I fell in love with you, Bella?"

"My tongue?" I giggled.

"No," she laughed, shaking her head. Her hair fell down around her face. "Though, you do have a fantastic tongue, baby. It was your eyes."

"My eyes?" I questioned.

Alice nodded, motioning for me to lean up so she could remove my bra. "They're so . . . deep, and they tell me so much."

"Like what?" I asked. The bed shifted behind us as Edward and Jasper settled, both of them having stripped down to just their boxers.

"That you see the best in almost everyone." Alice leaned down and kissed me. "That you're kind." Another kiss. "And generous." A deeper kiss. "And ours."

"Just ours," Jasper added, lying with his head next to mine. I looked over at him. "We refuse to share you with anyone else, Bella. Your heart, soul, and body — they belong to me, Edward, and Alice."

"But . . ."

"No, baby," Edward said, interrupting me. "There are no buts, unless you're talking about these sweet asses right here." He reached over and palmed Alice and Jasper's asses, causing them both to moan. "See, just like we own you — you own us."

"Prove it," I murmured, bringing my hand up to his face. "Make love to me."

Edward smiled before he leaned down and pressed his mouth against mine. As his tongue pushed through my lips, I felt Alice pulling at the top of my jeans. I moaned and lifted my hips, allowing her to strip off the last of my clothing. Naked and trembling, I felt Alice slid her hands up my legs, until her warm breath hit against my pussy. Tearing my lips from Edward, I looked down, gasping at the sight of Alice between my legs.

"God, Ali," I groaned, feeling the tip of her tongue slip in between my wet folds.

"You taste so good, baby," she purred, licking me hard and fast.

Suddenly, Alice pulled back from me. "Get on your hands and knees."

I did as she instructed. Edward was kneeling on the bed, naked and stroking his hard cock. Without needing to be told, I leaned forward, wrapping my lips around the head before sliding him into my mouth.

"Oh, fuck," Edward cried out, his fingers tangling into my hair. "I love when you suck my cock, baby. So fucking incredible."

All I could do was moan, loving the feeling of him sliding between my lips. Alice grabbed my hips, moving so that she was lying under me. She pulled me down onto her eager mouth, thrusting her tongue into me. Jasper stood up on the bed, pulling Edward's head back and filling his mouth with his cock. Between him fucking Edward's mouth, Alice eating my pussy like she'd never tasted one before, and Edward taking my mouth, I was on sensory overload.

A full day of teasing had me on the verge of an orgasm already. Alice pushed two fingers into me, sending me flying off the edge. I cried out around Edward, who shuddered and came in my mouth. Jasper let out a strangled curse before falling onto the bed. Letting Edward's cock out of my mouth, I leaned up; crushing my mouth onto his, tasting Jasper's release on his lips and knowing that he could taste his own.

In a flash Edward had me on my back, hovering over me. His cock was hardening against me, causing me to ache for him to be inside of me. Leaning away, but leaving his forehead pressed against mine, he shifted his hips, filling me to the brink. My mouth fell open; the feeling of him filling me had me reeling. He was perfect. We were perfect.

"Gah, Bella, I love you so much," he murmured, setting a slow and steady pace. "You're my world, baby. Everything that matters to me."

"I love you, too," I gasped. "So much."

Beside us, Jasper was laying on his back with Alice riding him. She'd thrown her head back, her hands resting on his thighs as they made love. Jasper's fingers were gripping her hips, meeting each of her thrusts with fortitude. Edward grabbed my thigh, pulling my leg up over his hip. He buried his face in my neck, nipping and sucking on my skin. My fingers twisted into his hair, pulling at him to move harder and faster. I needed him, yearned for more from him. It wasn't just about sex, either. I needed all of him, all of Alice, all of Jasper. They were my rock, my salvation—the only people in this world that I knew would love me no matter what happened. And, finally, after weeks of fighting to understand why, I could admit that they truly did love me.

"Fuck, Jas," Alice cried, her body shuddering from her orgasm.

"Ali!" Jasper groaned, coming with her.

Edward turned, capturing my lips in a searing kiss. His thrusts became more erratic; the angle of his thrust had me tiptoeing on the edge of another release. Edward snaked his arm under me, lifting me off the bed. The feeling of his hips slamming into mine had me crying out, his name tumbling from between my lips. Edward thrust once more before stilling his hips and letting go inside of me.

Once we'd ridden out our orgasms, he fell onto the bed next to me, panting for each breath. I rolled onto my side, snuggling up against him. Alice curved her body around mine with Jasper behind her, his hand coming to rest on my hip.

"We're gonna be okay, aren't we?" I whispered. "I mean, we really will be."

Alice's lips curved upward against my skin. "You almost sound like you believe it."

"I'm starting to," I murmured. "Just don't give up on me, okay?"

"Baby, we're never giving up on you," Jasper said.

"That's right, because we love you," Edward added, rolling so that he faced me.

"I love you, too," I mumbled, yawning.

With my lovers holding me, I drifted off to sleep. For the first time in weeks, I didn't have a single nightmare.

**Whew, now that was a long one! I didn't intend for this to be such a long chapter, but they just didn't want to shut up. Just when I thought they were going to, they decided now would be a good time to start communicating! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this extra-long chapter. Might be a few weeks before the next update. I have edits to do and another book to write. **

**Oh, and Stupidlambtanya, you owe me like four chapters now!**


	42. Chapter 42

I could do this. Or at least that's what I kept telling myself. Today, for the first time in weeks, I was going back to the office. Embry was right: I couldn't keep hiding. The time had come for me to reclaim my life and get the old Bella back. Of course, that was much easier said than done. Just the thought of going back to that place, where everyone would be staring at me, filled me with panic.

"Come on, Bella, do it for the kids," I muttered, pushing myself away from the bathroom vanity.

Releasing the breath I'd been holding, I walked into our bedroom, unsurprised to see Edward sitting on the bed. He hadn't wandered too far away from me in days, not since our night at Mike's when Carlisle and I had bared our souls to them. Perhaps a part of him worried that the moment he did, that I'd need him and he wouldn't be there to catch me. He was a silly man — I'd always needed him, Alice, and Jasper.

"Hey." My heart was racing.

Edward looked up at me and smiled. "Hey. You okay?"

"No," I laughed, though I knew it sounded off. "But I'm trying."

"You are, and that's all we ask." Standing up, he crossed the room and slipped his arms around my waist.

Edward's arms always made me feel safe, even if there were times when I couldn't share that with him. If I did, he'd just reassure me that he'd always love me, that I was safe with him, and I didn't doubt him. It was just hard to let my walls down and let my weaknesses show. For too long, they'd called me the glue that held us together, but that wasn't accurate. No, it was them — all of them. From the moment we'd first met, they made me feel safe and loved.

"It's time to go," he murmured. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, feeling the tension building in my shoulders. "I — I think so."

Edward kept my hands in his as he turned and led me downstairs, and out to Jasper's truck. Alice and Jasper had volunteered to drive the girls to school and then drop the boys off at Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte's house. I wanted to be strong enough to do all of that with them, but I was already struggling with the idea of going back to work. I wasn't sure I could handle taking them to school, too. Baby steps — that's all I could promise right now.

The twenty minute drive to the office felt like it took an eternity. I kept my eyes locked on the window, amazed at how the world could have moved on while it seemed like my life had been standing still. Of course, that wasn't true. Dragging my fingers across my abdomen was proof enough to remind me just how much everything in my world had changed in the last few months.

Edward parked across the street from our building, rather than pulling into the garage. One day I'd have to go back in there, but that day was not today. Cutting the engine, he turned in his seat and smiled. "You look like you're about to puke."

I laughed. "Thinking about it."

"You know I'm not going to leave you, right?"

I huffed, and looked out the window. Jasper and Alice were waiting for us next to the front door. "And they aren't going to leave me either." It wasn't a question, but a realization.

"No, baby, none of us are leaving. We love you."

Smiling, I looked back at him. "I love you, too. I do, but I'm scared."

"So are we," he replied, taking hold of my hand. "But we're stronger together than we are apart. I think we've proven that more than enough times."

"I know," I whispered. "Let's just get this over with before I really do throw up. I shouldn't have eaten this morning."

"You should have had more," he muttered, but I chose to ignore him. My stomach was in knots, trying to force food into it would just add to my humiliation.

Edward climbed out of the car and ran around to help me out. I gripped his hand as tightly as I could while we crossed the street. Jasper had his arm wrapped snuggly around Alice's waist, almost as if he was trying to hold her back. He probably was. Alice, like Edward, had been hovering over me for the last few days. Once again, I found myself not minding. At least they cared.

"Hey," I whispered, fidgeting with the hem on my white, silk blouse. As people walked past us, it felt like they were staring at me. I could almost hear their whispers being carried away in the wind — none of which actually happened. I wasn't even a blimp on their radar. "Kids get settled okay?"

"Yes," Jasper replied. "Peter and Charlie were going to take the boys to the zoo. Rose and Kate are picking the girls up from school. We told them that we'll stop by after work and pick them up."

I nodded, shifting my eyes away from him. My heart was racing, every breath I took felt strained. Resting on my side, my free hand was clenched into a tight fist, my nails dug into my skin.

Alice pulled herself out of Jasper's arms, sliding her hand down my arm and wrapping her fingers around my clenched fist. I lifted my eyes to hers; expecting to see aggravation or irritation there, but found neither. All I found was the same look she'd been giving me since we were fifteen and she first kissed me — love and need.

"Ali," I whispered.

"Come on, my beautiful girl," she cooed, giving my hand a tug.

I followed her inside, Jasper and Edward falling on either side of us. Together, the four of us walked over to the elevator. My entire body was shaking, and more than once I contemplated my ability to make a run for it, but the feel of Alice's fingers wrapped around mine, and Edward's hand on the small of my back kept me from acting on the urge.

The doors slid open, startling me. Releasing a huff, I stepped in and leaned against the back wall. Alice stood next to me, still holding my hand. It was odd to me that the first time we stepped in here, so many years ago, Alice and I were hiding the extent of our relationship, and now we were proud of our bond. Just wish I had the confidence that she, Jasper, and Edward had that I'd be strong enough to reclaim my life.

Slowly, the elevator lifted us up to the fifth floor. With each passing second, I could feel the tension in my shoulders and neck building. The last time I stepped foot here I had a breakdown and it nearly cost me my lovers. When the car jarred to a stop, I released a hiss. Jasper reached over and stopped the doors from opening.

He turned to face me. "Beautiful, take a deep breath for me."

I did as he told me, but all that it did was make me choke. He grabbed my shoulders, pulling me against his chest. I gripped the back of his shirt, holding on to him like my life depended on him — which it did. He, Alice, and Edward were my life.

"Calm down," he whispered, dragging his fingers through my hair.

"Jas," I whimpered.

"Shh, it's okay," he murmured.

I shook my head. "No, it's not. I know that I need to do all of this — for kids, for myself, but it scares me."

"What scares you?" Jasper asked

My lips trembled as I whispered. "The unknown. How do I go through each day not knowing what's gonna happen next?"

"You have faith and hope." Alice smiled, leaning her head against Jasper's shoulder.

Shifting my eyes to hers, I thought about our girls. Whitley and Mackenzie were our faith and hope, hence their middle names, but I couldn't help wonder what our new baby would bring us. From the way I saw it, he or she would either be our salvation, or our downfall. I was betting on the latter.

"And you have us," Edward added, wrapping his arms around the three of us. "But we have to get out of here before they think the elevator is stuck again. Are you ready?"

For the second time, I shook my head. "I don't think I will ever be ready, so let's just get this done."

"We love you," he whispered, before brushing his lips across mine. Tilting his head back, he kissed Jasper and then Alice. "I love all of you."

"And we love you," Alice chirped.

Jasper turned and pressed the button to allow the doors to slide open. Just as I expected, a crowd had begun to gather around the doors, clearly wondering what had held the elevator up. When we stepped out everyone shifted their eyes from Jasper, who still had his arm wrapped around me, over to me. I could feel the panic beginning to rise. I'd tried to tell them that they'd stare at me. Nobody ever listened to me.

Placing his hand on my back, Edward cleared his throat, causing them to snap their attention to him. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I've got a busy schedule today."

Shuffling their attention between him and me, they began to scatter. As Corbin and John scrambled back into their office, I felt a smile slip over my lips. Standing on the other side of the floor was the last person I'd expected to see.

"Seth?" I gasped.

With his arms folded in front of him, he titled his head back, meeting my eyes. "Hey, Bella."

I stepped away from Jasper, Edward, and Alice, shifting my attention between them and Seth. It was clear by the looks on my lovers' faces that they knew he would be here. What I didn't understand was why they hadn't told me? Did they think I'd be so happy to see him that suddenly my life would make sense and everything would be roses?

"What's going on?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as even as I could.

"I flew in for a meeting with the Volturi brothers. I have a client in Port Angeles who is looking to build a strip mall. The project is too big for Ben to handle on his own, so we thought we could work with the brothers, you know since they've done a few," Seth explained, closing the distance between him and us. He reached out to hug me, but let his arms fall to his side when I whimpered and leapt backward. "Sorry, I figured they'd tell you."

"No, they didn't," I mumbled, dropping my attention to the ground. Seth wouldn't hurt me — I knew this — but I was barely able to handle anyone other than Edward, Jasper, Alice, and Carlisle being close to me. Clearing my throat, I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth. "Um, I'd better . . . go to my office, or whatever."

Wrapping my arms up around myself, I turned and left them standing there. The walk to my office felt like it stretched miles and not mere yards. Pushing open the door to my office, I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I don't know what I expected, but my office looked the same, like I'd just been gone for the weekend and not the last three months. Walking over to my desk, I pulled my chair back and slowly sat down. The last time I'd stood in here, I'd been on the verge of a nervous breakdown — one that I'd succumb to.

"You almost look comfortable sitting there." At the sound of Seth's voice, I felt my shoulders tightened. "Can I come in?"

Shifting my eyes to him, I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "Sure, but do me a favor and leave the door open."

Seth nodded before crossing my office and sliding into one of the chairs on the other side of my desk. "You look like shit."

My lips twitched as a smile tugged on my lips. "I know. You look good, though. Forks must agree with you." Seth's responding smile told me everything I needed to know: he was happy. "I should say I told you so."

"But you won't," he snickered. I rolled my eyes. "I've never been happier than I am right now. Tanya, Ben, Angela, and Caleb — they're my everything."

"Yeah, I get that," I murmured, dragging my fingers across the silver picture frame sitting on the corner of my desk.

Edward and Jasper were sitting on the porch; Alice had squeezed in the middle. The girls were perched in their laps, while Alice was holding both Edison and Jackson. It was the day Alice had come home from the hospital, and I demanded that I needed a picture of all of them. The smiles on their faces could only be described as pure.

I turned to Seth. "They called you, didn't they? Told you to come up here."

"They might have suggested that it'd be a good idea," Seth said. Sighing, he leaned up and placed his elbows on his knees. "We've all been worried about you."

I frowned, dropping my eyes to my desk. "Join the club." Seth didn't reply. "I'm fine."

"You've never been a good liar, Bella," he muttered.

I looked up at him. "What do you expect me to say, Seth? That I'm barely hanging on? Or how my life is a clusterfuck and I don't know how to make it better?"

"That's a start," he said, leaning back. "We shouldn't have left."

"Don't," I snarled. "I really can't handle your guilt on top of the guilt that I already feel."

"I'm not trying to add to your guilt, I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. We love you, Bella. T and Ang wanted to come, but Ben and I thought it might be easier if it was just me. You've done so much for us; we just want to be able to help you."

I sighed and shook my head. "I didn't do anything for you guys."

"That's bullshit and we both know it." Seth stood up and walked over to the window, placing his hand on the frame. "You gave me a job when there were others who were more qualified. You introduced me to Tanya, then Ben and Ang. I know about Kelly, and how you and Edward went to Ben in an effort to save his marriage to Angela." Seth looked back at me. "Tanya and I never would have been able to admit that we were in love with them if it hadn't been for you."

"God, I am so tired of hearing shit like that," I grumbled, dragging my fingers through my hair.

"It's the truth." Seth shrugged his shoulders. "You don't see the effect that you have on people."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm a real saint, that's why people feel the need to rip my soul apart."

Seth moved over and sat down across from me again. "I'm sorry if my being here is adding to your discomfort. That wasn't my intention."

"It's not you, Seth, it's me." Leaning back, I dropped my hand down to my stomach. "I'm pregnant." Seth's eyes flew open. "Thirteen weeks as of yesterday. I'm sure the math isn't hard to figure."

"Oh, fuck, Bella, I had no idea," he muttered.

"We haven't really announced it to anyone. I've been working from home for the last couple of months. Today is my first day back."

Closing his eyes, Seth sighed again. "Guess that explains why they wanted me here so quick."

"Suppose so," I mumbled.

"Look, I know this is overwhelming for you, but just remember that I'm always here for you. And so are T, Ang, and Ben. We really do love you."

My lips were trembling when I murmured, "I love you, too. We'll catch up later, okay?"

"Sound good. Now, I really do have to run before the brothers come looking for me." Seth laughed. "Take care, Bella."

The moment Seth walked out of my office, I slumped back in my chair. A mirage of emotions flooded over me: fear, doubt, anger, happiness. I wanted to cry, to scream, to do something that would make my feeling known. A knock on my office door drew my attention. Alice stood in front of Jasper and Edward, all three of them wearing looks of uncertainty on their faces. A part of me was furious with them for calling Seth and not telling me; however, the other half knew that everything they did was because they loved me. I couldn't be angry with them for caring.

"Come on in," I said with a wave of my hand.

The three of them walked in, Jasper reaching back to shut the door behind him. I stood up and walked around my desk, taking his hand and pulling him to the couch. Dragging my fingers across his chest, I pushed him down and settled in his lap. Edward and Alice followed our lead, settling down next us.

"I should be upset," I whispered. "You basically lied to me, tricked me into feeling safe before springing Seth on me."

"We're sorry," Edward said, reaching around Alice and grabbing my hand. "We just thought it would make it easier for you to have a familiar face here."

"Plus, he, Tanya, Angela, and Ben had been calling non-stop about you. I've lost count on how many times they've threatened to come down," Alice added.

I wasn't surprised. "You should have told me."

"Would you have come in today if we did?" Jasper asked.

"No," I admitted. "I would have stayed home and hidden away. I'm not angry, a little hurt maybe, but not angry. Just — just don't treat me with kid gloves anymore, okay? If I'm gonna get my life back, then I need you to trust me."

"Okay, but you have to promise that you'll tell us when things get hard. You can't shut down on us again. Please promise us."

The sound of Jasper's pleas etched into my heart, and I found myself nodding. "I can do that. Now, I suppose I should actually do some work."

"You could," Jasper chuckled, before pressing his lips to the outside of my ear. "Or, we could welcome you back to work the old fashion way."

Leaning away from him, I shook my head. "People would hear."

"We'll be quiet." Alice smirked as she moved off of Edward's lap and knelt next to me on the couch. Bringing her hand up to the back of my head, she kissed me. She swiped her tongue along my bottom lips, I moaned allowing her to explore freely. While she took control of my mouth, Jasper's hands had slipped under my blouse and pulling at my nipples through my white, lace bra.

"Jas!" I cried, tearing my lips away from Alice's.

Edward was kneeling behind her, his hand down the front of her skirt. Based on the way she was grinding her hips, I knew that Edward his fingers inside of her. Before I could say anything, Jasper turned my face toward him, capturing my mouth with his. Any resolve that I had for not re-christening my office dissipated in that moment. I needed to feel them: their hands, their mouths, their love.

Jasper peeled my blouse off, letting it fall to the floor next to me. I brought my arms up to cover myself, but he grabbed my wrists, pulling them back down. "You're beautiful."

Undoing my bra, he let it slide down my arms. Jasper leaned forward and took my nipple in his mouth. I snapped my lips together, stifling the cry that wanted to be heard. Next to me, Edward had Alice's blouse open, her skirt pushed up over her hips. Reaching between then, he unbuttoned his pants, shoving them down to the middle of his thighs. His long, hard cock bounced up. I wanted to lean over and take him in my mouth, but I didn't. Instead, I watched as he lined himself up at Alice's pussy. Shifting his eyes to mine, he smirked and thrust, filling her in one, quick move.

"Jesus fuck," Alice hissed, slamming her hand down on the back of the couch. Edward didn't show her any mercy as he set a fast and furious pace.

"Aren't they fucking incredible together?" Jasper growled.

"Yes," I breathed. Looking back down at him, I brought my hand up to his face, stroking my fingers across his cheek. "Make love to me, Jas. Please!"

Jasper stood up with me in his arms. Keeping his eyes locked on mine, he stripped off the rest of our clothes. Taking my hands in his, Jasper sat back down, pulling me onto his lap. His hands moved to my hips and he slowly lowered me down on him. My breath caught in my chest at the feeling of him inside of me.

"Fuck, baby, you're made for me," he murmured. The pace he set was gentle and steady. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I braced myself. Where Alice and Edward's movements were fast and hard, mine and Jasper's were slow, and sensual; just one more way that we loved each other, one more way that we showed the depth of our love.

"Jas," I whimpered, unable to keep the tremor of out of my voice.

"I know, beautiful, I know," he groaned, wrapping his arms around my waist. I leaned my forehead against his, staring deep into his eyes. "I'm not going to make it much longer. You feel too fucking good around me."

Threading my fingers in his hair, I pulled his head back and smashed my mouth down on his. Jasper's grip on me tightened, sending me flying over the edge. He thrust his hips up a handful of times more before finding his own release. Slowly, our bodies began to calm down. Lost in our own little bubble, we hadn't been aware of Alice and Edward finding their climaxes, redressing, and settling on the sofa next to us.

My cheeks warmed under their watchful gazes. Pulling out of Jasper's arms, I began gathering my clothes and putting them on. I managed to get my pants on when I felt Alice's arms slip around my waist. Her lips came down on my bare shoulder. "We love you."

I smiled. "I love you, too — all three of you. I really do."

"Good, now we'd better get to work before the boss has our asses," Edward teased, leaning around Alice to kiss me. "Even if her taking my ass is a tempting offer."

I giggled. "Maybe later — if you're a good boy."

Jasper and Alice laughed when Edward growled at me. Once we were all dressed, they kissed me and headed off to their offices, each of them reminding me that they were just down the hall from me. I appreciated they were willing to give me space without being too far away. Leaving my office door open, I settled down at my desk and fired up my computer. Taking a deep breath, I tried to focus on my work and — in the process — get my life back. I just hoped that I wouldn't find stumble along the way.

**Thank you for all the reviews. First, I want to apologize for the delay on this update. I've sat here day after day and stared at it, wrote 1K just to delete it, stare at it some more, and repeat as necessary. I really had a hard time finding my voice on this chapter, but overall, I'm happy with how it turned out. **

**Now, as you all know, I've been in the process of releasing yet another new book. TODAY is that day. Angel's Heart went live on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Joseph-Beth Booksellers, and Smashwords! If you're interested in it, or any of my books, you can find me at ( / ) LisaBilbrey ( / ) com **

**I don't know when the next update will come; I am heading to Virginia Beach next week, where I will be doing a book signing at Prince Books in Norfolk with Michele Richard and Laura Braley. If you're in the area, I'd love for you to come out and see me!**


	43. Chapter 43

Leaning back in my chair, I dragged my fingers through my hair, and willed my headache to go away. I'd just spent the last four hours working on the pile of paperwork that had amassed over the last two months. Even with what Edward, Jasper, and Alice had been bringing home for me, there was still way too much to do. Part of me welcomed the work, but the other part felt like I was drowning in it.

I needed help; I needed Carlisle.

Sighing, I spun my chair around so that I could look out the window. I needed Carlisle, but I wouldn't be able to have him here. Jasper, Alice, and Edward were still too leery of him to allow him back to the company. I suppose I could understand their fears, even now that they had more insight into what Carlisle and I were feeling. But I missed him — more than I probably should.

"Hey." Spinning my chair back around, I smiled when I saw Edward leaning in the doorway. "You look like you're thinking pretty hard."

"Trying not to," I murmured.

Edward laughed and walked into my office, placing an additional five files on my desk, causing me to sigh. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I said, waving him off. "It's my job, right?"

"It is," Edward confirmed, "but you still can't do it alone, can you?"

"Of course I can," I lied. "I mean, I'll have to, right?"

"No, you don't." Edward reached over and pushed my phone toward me. "You could call him, see if he wants to come in, or maybe we could drop some work off for him."

"Him?" I whimpered, not wanting to get my hopes up.

"I can't promise that I won't worry, baby, but . . ." Edward paused and took a deep breath. "But I know that you need Carlisle, and even though it's hard to know that you need him, I won't stand in your way."

"Edward," I whispered, tearing up.

"Call him, Bella. You need him here to help, and something tells me that he needs to be here, too."

I shook my head, though my fingers twitched toward the phone. "What about Jas and Ali? Will they understand?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Edward said, "I don't know, Bella. They love you, too. And no matter what happens, we are never giving up on you, or going to stop loving you. Don't you know that by now?"

I smiled. "I'm starting to," I replied. "You know that I love you, don't you? You, Jas, and Ali — you keep me from falling apart."

"We know," he said, standing up and leaning across my desk. "Now, kiss me and then call my father."

Smiling wider, I stood up and leaned toward him, brushing my lips across his. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I waited until Edward left, shutting the door behind him, before I picked up the phone and attempted to call Carlisle. Attempted because every time my fingers touched the buttons on my phone, I found myself unable to actually press them. I wanted to — God, did I want to — but I was afraid. What if he told me no? What if Esme, Catherine, and William told him no? Just the thought of him turning me away had me feeling anxious.

"Stop being a little bitch and just do it," I scolded myself, cradling the phone in my other hand.

Taking a deep, much needed breath; I dialed his number and prayed that he'd be the one who answered. Of course, that was a prayer wasted. After three rings, Catherine said, "Hello."

I opened my mouth several times to speak, but couldn't seem to get the words to come out.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" she asked.

"C — Catherine," I choked out, unable to keep my voice from cracking.

"Bella? Sweetheart, is that you?" Her tone softened and I imagined her on the other end of the phone with a smile. "Sweetheart?"

"Yeah, it's me," I murmured. "Sorry to bother you. I — I was calling . . ."

"Carlisle. You were calling Carlisle," she said.

"Yeah, I . . ." I trailed off unsure of what to say. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just hang on a moment and I will get him, okay? Don't hang up."

"I won't," I told her, trying to sound more confident than I really was. Through the phone, I heard her call out to Carlisle and tell him I was on the phone.

Just when I was about to hang up, he said, "Bella?"

"Hey," I cried, bringing my free hand up to my forehead, leaning against my palm.

"Hey," he mumbled. "God, it's nice to hear your voice. Are you okay? They said you were going back to work today? Are you sure you're ready?"

"Um, yeah, yeah, and hell no," I replied, trying to keep the tears from being heard through the phone. "I thought I would puke just walking into the building, and then Seth was here —"

"What's Seth doing in LA?" Carlisle interrupted. "Never mind. Let me guess: an urgent meeting that he just had to rush up here for, which just happened to coincide with your return to the company?"

"Yeah — Edward, Jasper, and Alice called him, told him to get his ass here. They thought they were helping."

"Of course they did," he grumbled. "D — did he hurt you?"

"No, of course not," I said. "He's Seth; he couldn't hurt a fly."

"But?" he asked. "There is a but, isn't there?"

"The but has nothing to do with Seth," I stated.

"Okay. Are you going to tell me what the but has to do with?"

"I would if you'd stop being an ass and interrupting me." I laughed.

Carlisle joined me by laughing and said, "Sorry."

"Fuck, I don't know how to ask this." I huffed. "Look, there really isn't a good way so I am just going to say it. I need help."

"Um, okay," he said. "With what exactly?"

"I need help with work." The moment the words were out of my mouth I heard Carlisle inhale sharply and I knew that I'd made a mistake by calling him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called."

Before he could reply, I hung up, pushed my chair away from my desk, and stood up. Less than thirty seconds later, my phone rang again. I ignored it, knowing that it was Carlisle. After letting it ring a half dozen times, it stopped. Right on cue, my cell phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my purse, unsurprised to see Carlisle's name and number come up. Closing my eyes, I hit the ignore button and dropped it back on my desk. I shouldn't have called him, and instead of hearing him yell at me for being a selfish bitch, I choose to avoid him. _A coward through and through_, I thought.

A few seconds after my cell stopped ringing, my office phone started. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I stepped back, moving around my desk until I reached the door. Throwing it open, I walked as quickly as I could down to Alice's office. Her door was open and she was bent over her work table when I walked in. She must have felt me standing there, but she looked back and smiled. God, I loved her smile.

"Hey, baby," she cooed. "What's up?"

"Oh, um, I was thinking that maybe you and I could get lunch," I stammered. "I mean if you're not busy or anything."

"I'd love to have lunch with you," Alice said, walking over to me. She placed her hands on my hips, pulling me closer to her. "Baby, you're shaking. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I whimpered. "I just need some fresh air."

Alice nodded. "Okay. Do you want me to get Edward and Jasper?"

"No," I whispered. "Just me and you, okay? Please?"

"Okay, baby, if you're sure." Alice slid her hand down into mine. "Let's go."

I couldn't explain why in this moment I felt the need to be alone with Alice, but I was thankful that she understood. It didn't mean I didn't need Edward and Jasper still — I always would — but Alice was my girl, my beautiful girl. Sometimes, I just needed to be with her.

We took the elevator down to the lobby and walked out of the building. It was warm, but not too hot. Pulling on my hand, Alice led me down the block toward the park. I smiled, thinking about all the times that we'd spent here together. Before we met Edward and Jasper, we were afraid to admit who we were and what we meant to each other. However, there wasn't a day that went by that we didn't touch each other, kiss or hug. Edward and Jasper gave us the courage to allow ourselves to be true to them and each other.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Alice asked, sitting on a bench and pulling me down next to her.

I sighed. "I don't know. I just feel so . . . overwhelmed."

"Okay," she said. "Overwhelmed about what?"

"Everything," I mumbled. "The kids, you guys, work."

"Okay, let's start with kids." Alice shifted toward me. "What is it about the kids are overwhelming you?"

I smiled. "I love them so much, Alice. Every day I watch them growing and maturing, but I feel like I'm on the sidelines, just watching." I dropped my hand down to my stomach. "How can I bring another baby into this world when I'm not able to be a mom to our other children?"

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself, baby. Besides, you're a wonderful mother. You're scared; we get that, but you don't see the amazing momma that we do. When Mack gets scared, who is it that she runs to?"

"Me, but —"

"And when Jackson sees you, he smiles and laughs. Edison watches you with wide, beautiful eyes, and Whit? Baby, Whit idolizes you."

"Why? I've missed months of their lives. Even before . . . everything happened, I was too busy with work to be there." Pausing, I struggled to keep the tears from falling. Alice tightened her grip on my hand. "Baby, I almost lost them — all of them. And you, Edward, and Jasper. Losing y'all would be the end of me."

"I know, but you didn't. Instead of living in the past, worrying about all that shit, you have to look toward the future. We're having another baby, and we're going to love that little boy or girl so much."

My lips trembled. "Even — even if . . ." The words died out in my throat.

"Even if Edward and Jasper isn't biologically the baby's father," Alice said. "I promise."

I nodded and released a shaky breath. "I hope you're right."

"Aren't I always," she teased. I laughed with her. "Now, we've covered the kids, and I think me, Jas, and Edward, too. What's overwhelming you with work?"

I shifted my eyes away from hers. "I can't do it."

"What do you mean? You've been doing it for years," Alice said.

Shaking my head, I sighed. "I can't do it alone. Not anymore." I looked up at Alice. "I can't run this company by myself; I never could. I need Carlisle." Alice smiled, but didn't reply. "I used to love my job, I thrived when the pressure was on my shoulders and I found myself racing against the clock, but now, I find myself cringing at just the thought of all of it. I don't want to spend every night drowning in paperwork; I want to be with you, and Edward and Jasper. And in order to do that, I need Carlisle to help me."

"Okay, so call him." When I shifted my attention away from her, Alice asked, "Baby, what's going on?"

"I — I did call him, but . . ." I released a heavy breath. "But I shouldn't need him, should I? I'm being selfish by asking him to come back. He's already given up so much for me; it's selfish of me to ask him to come back for me."

"God, Bella, you couldn't be selfish if you tried." Alice stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "Needing help doesn't make you selfish or weak; it makes you human." Alice knelt down in front of me and took my hands in hers. "Baby, we're a family and all of us — including Carlisle — love you. And we love him, which will never change. If you need him here, to help run the company, then you need to ask him to come back."

"That's what Edward said," I muttered, and then filled her in on my conversation with him. While I spoke, she nodded and smiled, never letting her eyes leave mine. "I don't know. I just feel guilty for calling him."

"You are such a silly girl," she murmured. "You need to go back to the office and call him again. Tell him what you told me. I can't promise that he will want to come back to the office, but I can assure you that he's gonna want to help with the work load."

"What I'd ever do to deserve you?" I mused, completely in awe of her.

Alice smiled. "You loved you."

"You loved me, too." I could feel my cheeks warming up.

"I always will," she whispered before leaning up and kissing me passionately. "We'd better get back before Edward and Jasper thinks we've run away together."

I giggled. "Like we could go anywhere without them."

"No, we couldn't, could we?" Alice stood up, pulling on my hand. "Come on, baby."

—EA—

Alice and I took our time getting back to the office. We didn't speak; instead we just enjoyed the feeling of being together. Having talked to her helped me feel better, but I still felt guilty for calling Carlisle. First, he'd already come back to save my ass once. Of course at the time I was in a coma and had no clue that what he was doing, but he'd stepped in and saved my company. He'd given up his retirement for me and now, he'd given up his innocence because of me. And now, I was asking him to come back. I really was selfish.

"If you need me, you know where I will be," Alice said, when we stepped off the elevator.

"Thank you," I whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Alice kissed me chastely, and headed to her office. I ducked my eyes to the floor as I headed toward mine; feeling like everyone was watching me. They weren't of course, but paranoia had me questioning every shifting eye, raised brow, and whispered breath. Gah, I was tired of feeling like a freak all the time. My office door was open, and I couldn't remember if I'd shut it or not.

Cautiously, I walked into my office, stopping when I saw Carlisle standing in front of the window. He had one hand pressed against the glass and the other one resting on his hip. Based on the jeans, T-shirt, and Nike running shoes he was wearing, I gathered that he'd sped here without second thought.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

Carlisle turned around, sighing. "Well, since you wouldn't answer your fucking phone, I figured I'd come down here and kick your ass."

I tried not to smile, but I couldn't seem to help it. "Like you could. You're an old man."

"Damn it, Bella, don't do that!" he yelled. I rolled my eyes and shut the door, trying to keep this from becoming the next round of office gossip. "You don't get to be like this. Not with me."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called, and I know that now, but I —"

"You think that's what I am pissed about?" Carlisle scoffed, interrupting me.

"Um, yeah."

Carlisle ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "I thought you knew me better than that, Bella."

"I did, too," I admitted.

Shifting his eyes up to mine, Carlisle said, "I'm pissed because you won't talk to me, because you pushed me away. Goddamn it, Bella, don't you understand that I would do anything for you?"

"I — I thought you didn't want to do anything for me," I mumbled.

"Why would you think that?"

"You took a breath." The moment the words left my mouth, I realized just how stupid I sounded. "Look, it's fine, okay. Don't feel like you have to do me any favors or anything."

"God, would you shut up!" Carlisle threw his hands in the air. "I don't feel like I have to do anything." He paused and took a deep breath. "I hate being at home. I feel . . . useless there. Esme, Catherine, and William — they hover over me. Fuck, I know they are just trying to help, but I need to work so please don't tell me that you don't need my help."

"You came here for me." It was a statement, not a question, but Carlisle nodded anyway. "Because I need help running this company."

"Yes," he said. "Because you need help running this goddamn company, and I need to be the one to help you. I promised you that . . ."

"That what?" I asked.

"I promised that I would help you and I didn't mean to break my word." Carlisle walked over to me, slowly bringing his hands up to rest on my shoulders. "Please let me come back. I can't stay home any longer. I'll do something stupid — like gardening or golf."

"Well, we can't have that. You might really turn into an old man." I smirked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," he replied, smiling. "Just like you, Bella, I need to get my life back, and this company is a part of me."

"That's so . . . sappy," I snickered.

"Shut the fuck up," he laughed, nudging me with his shoulder.

"You're so rude," I teased, walking around and sitting down at my desk. Carlisle just stood there, watching me. "Well, are you just going to stand there? You said you'd help. Can't very well do that all the way over there, can you?"

"Yes, boss lady." Carlisle came over and picked up one of the stacks of files. "Mind if I work from in here, though? I don't know that I'm ready to face them yet."

I smiled. "Yeah, sure. Pull up a chair and get comfortable because we have a lot of work to do."

"Thanks." Carlisle reached back and grabbed one of the chairs behind him, settling on the other side of my desk. Opening the first file, he grabbed one of my pens and began to work on the budget reports for a project that Corbin had been working on. Feeling my body relax, I opened my own file and went to work.

—EA—

"Knock, knock." Startled by the sudden intrusion of Edward's voice, Carlisle and I both looked up, finding him, Jasper, and Alice standing in the doorway of my office. Neither of us had heard the door open. Quickly, I shifted my eyes from them to Carlisle and back. He seemed tense, unsure of how to react.

"Hey, guys," I replied. "Um, what's up?"

"Work day is over, time to go home," Jasper said, smiling.

"Oh, um, okay," I muttered, looking at the clock. Indeed, it was five. Carlisle and I had been so wrapped up in our work that we hadn't realized nearly five hours had passed. "Yeah, sorry, guess we lost track of time."

"It's okay," Jasper replied, shifting his attention to Carlisle. "Nice to have you back, Carlisle."

"T — thanks," Carlisle stammered. "I — I'm glad to be here."

"You know," Alice started, pushing away from the door frame and walking into my office, "the room next door is empty. And it's big." She paused in front of the wall between my office and the one next to mine, looking over her shoulder at me. "We could put a door in this wall. You know, so that you'd be close, but still have some privacy."

"What?" I asked.

Alice laughed. "You know for an architect, I really thought you'd understand." She turned to Carlisle. "We understand that you're a little nervous about being around everybody. So, I was thinking that you could take the office next door. Maybe we could put in a door connecting that office to Bella's so that you're still close, but not . . ."

"Not too close," Carlisle mumbled finishing her sentence for her. "Yeah, I get it. Do whatever you want, I don't really care." Looking at me, he said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Car," I whispered.

"Tomorrow." Before I could say anything else, he shoved his hands into his pockets and rushed out.

Sighing, I looked over at Alice. "Let's go home."

"Baby, I didn't mean anything by that. I was just thinking that it would give you both privacy, but keep you close," Alice rambled.

"I know, and I'll talk to him, okay? Let's just go get the kids and go home. I'm exhausted," I said.

Though, I could tell that Alice wasn't sure, she nodded and came over to me, taking ahold of my hand. Once I locked my office, we followed Jasper and Edward down to the elevator, then into the lobby, and out to where our van and Jasper's truck were parked. Nobody said a word, though it didn't feel uncomfortable. For the first time in three months, I felt at total peace with them.

"What sounds good for dinner?" Edward asked as we stopped next to Jasper's truck. He brought his arm up and wrapped it around Jasper's shoulder, leaning toward him. The way they loved each other always moved me.

"Tacos?" Jasper suggested.

"No, Mack doesn't like them," I murmured. "Says the shells hurt her teeth."

"Spaghetti," Alice said.

"Whit won't touch it if there is sauce," I replied. "Says it feels slimey."

"Hmm, okay, chicken strips?" Edward said.

"We don't have any. Plus, the girls don't like chicken right now." I sighed, and looked over at Edward, finding him staring at me with a smirk on his face. Shifting around, I saw that Alice and Jasper had the same look on their faces. "What?"

"You know, for someone who claims that they've missed their children's lives, you sure do know a lot about them," Alice teased.

Turning my eyes from theirs, I frowned. "Just because I know a few things about them doesn't mean that I haven't missed things."

"You're right, it doesn't," Edward said, reaching over and holding my hand. "Maybe you have missed some stuff, but that doesn't mean you don't know them, baby."

"But do they know me?" I asked.

"Of course they do," Edward insisted.

I shook my head. "If you say so." None of them uttered another word, and I let it go for now. I wanted to enjoy our evening, the way we used to. "How about pizza?" I suggested. "Everyone likes pizza."

"Pizza it is then," Alice chirped leaning over and kissing my cheek.

Alice and Edward volunteered to go get the kids while Jasper and I stopped by Vinny's Pizza and picked up our dinner. With two extra-large pizzas, one pepperoni and the other cheese, we headed to the house. Edward and Alice had the kids in the kitchen. Mackenzie and Whitley were pulling down paper plates and napkins while Edward and Jasper were trying to get the boys situated in their chairs. When Edison and Jackson saw Jasper and I standing in the doorway, they both smiled, making everything perfect for me.

"Mommy!" Mackenzie cheered, running over and throwing her arms around my waist. I wanted to cry; not because I was scared — quite the opposite. I was happy. For the first time in three months, I was happy. "I'm hungry."

"Me too, honey, me too," I said, balancing the pizzas in one hand and rubbing her back with my other. "Come on, let's eat."

Mackenzie laughed and ran over, jumping into her seat. Whitley climbed into the chair next to her sister, trying her hardest to wait patiently. Setting the pizza in the middle of the table, I knelt down next to her chair and wrapped my arms around her, silently telling her that I loved her just as she was. Where Mackenzie was outgoing, Whitley was more reserved. Just like me and Alice.

While we ate dinner, the girls filled us in on their day. From the sounds of it, they'd had a good one. A fire truck from one of the local stations had come to the school, and taught them about fire safety. They had a fire drill and got to climb onto the truck. It'd been a long time since I'd heard my girls jabbering so carefree. I enjoyed it — a lot.

Once we'd finished dinner, Edward and Jasper helped the girls with their homework, which was really just tracing over their letters and reading a small book. Alice and I gathered the boys up and took them upstairs for a bath. Edison and Jackson took turns dumping water over each other's heads, giggling harder each time. By the time we dragged them out of the tub, I think Alice and I were soaked to the bone. We took them into their rooms and got them ready for bed. Once they were nearly asleep, Alice and I put them in bed, closing the door quietly behind us.

"I can see right through your shirt," Alice purred, leaning up and sucking my earlobe into her mouth. "I want to taste your nipples."

"Alice," I moaned, resisting the urge to press her against the wall and take her.

"Come on," she murmured, pulling me toward out bedroom. "Edward and Jasper are putting the girls to bed. Since we're already wet, how about if we take a shower together?"

"Um, okay." Smiling, I felt my body begin to tingle just from the idea of being in the shower with Alice.

"You just kill me with that blush," she muttered under her breath. I couldn't help but smirk, knowing the power I held over her right now.

Slipping my hand out of hers, I brought it up to Alice's face, cupping her cheek. I leaned in and kissed her. "Come on, lover," I whispered. "I'm feeling very dirty."

Alice moaned, and tried to deepen the kiss, but I shook my head and stepped away from her. Bringing my hand up to the top of my blouse, I undid the first button, then the next one. Alice's chest heaved as she began to untuck hers from her skirt. Spinning on my heel, I walked into our bedroom, hoping that she would follow me. A moment later, I heard our bedroom door close and knew that she had, causing me to smile.

Alice and I walked into the bathroom. I leaned into the shower, turning on the water and making sure the temperature was just right. Looking back, I saw that Alice had already removed her skirt and top, leaving only her bra and panties on.

"Someone is eager," I teased and finished unbuttoning my blouse.

"What can I say?" Alice smirked as she reached behind her and unhooked her bra, letting it slid down her arms and drop to the floor. "I'm starving."

"But we just ate dinner," I cooed.

Alice giggled and slid her panties off, leaving her completely naked. "I want dessert."

A shiver ran through me and I quickly stripped off my clothes, grabbing Alice's hand and dragging her into the shower with me. I slipped my hands onto her hips, grinding my body against hers. However, Alice giggled, pinning me against the wall.

"Oh, no, baby, I told you that I want dessert."

"Ali," I whimpered.

"Can I taste you, baby?" she whispered. "Hmm, can I savor you on my tongue?"

"Like I could ever tell you no," I murmured.

Weaving my fingers into her hair, I pulled her head back, crushing my lips against hers. Alice moaned, her hands came to rest on my hips. She tore her lips from mine, lowering them down to side of my neck. Sucking and nipping on my skin, Alice made her way down my chest, finding my nipples. She took one in between her lips, groaning at the taste. I whimpered, unable to get more than that out. Alice smirked, alternating to my other breast. She always knew how to manipulate my body, pushing me to the edge but keeping me from falling until she wanted me to.

Releasing my nipple, Alice dropped to her knees in front of me. She placed her hands on my thighs, pushing my legs apart. I didn't fight against her; I couldn't even if I wanted to. Alice owned me — she always had and she always would.

"You're amazing," she purred, leaning in and brushing her tongue against my pussy. "Fuck, I hope I will never get tired of tasting you."

"M — me, too," I gasped, trying to keep myself from melting into a pile of goo. "Ali, more. Please, give me more."

Alice smirked and attacked my pussy, thrusting her tongue between my wet slit. I cried out, throwing my hand out and slamming it against the wall. The sound echoed throughout the bathroom. I heard myself begging her for more, grinding myself against her tongue. Alice didn't slow down; she increased her pace, adding two fingers to the mix. I was already dancing on the edge, and Alice knew it, she was relishing in it. My sexy, beautiful vixen; God I loved her.

"Ali," I panted, trying to hold back my orgasm. "Stop . . . I — I can't take it."

"Let go, baby," she demanded, shifting her eyes up to mine. "Now. Give it to me, now."

"I — I . . ." I gasped, shaking as a wave of pleasure soared through me.

Alice kept licking me until I'd ridden out my orgasm. She leaned back and I slid to the floor of the shower, overwhelmed by everything. It wasn't until Alice wrapped her arms around me that I realized I'd been weeping to myself. She really did love me, want me, and need me, even after everything I'd put her through.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Alice asked.

"Nothing." I sniffed back my tears. "I — I just love you so much, Ali. You always know what to do or say that makes me feel better. I never want to lose you."

"You won't," she promised. "You've been my girl for more than half my life, I can't live without you."

"Or Jas and Edward," I amended. "We can't forget them."

"No," she laughed, shaking her head. "Y'all are my life."

"Everything is gonna be okay," I said, and for the first time, I believed it.

"Yeah, it is," she agreed. "Now, let's finish our shower before we run out of hot water."

Laughing, I let Alice drag me to my feet. We took our time washing each other, just enjoying the few minutes when it was just me and her. Once the water started losing its steam, I shut off the shower and grabbed a towel, patting Alice's dry. She returned the favor and we headed into our bedroom, stopping when we saw Edward and Jasper lying on the bed.

Jasper was on his back, his shirt wide open while Edward peppered his chest with kisses, slowly making his way down to the top of Jasper's pants. Alice and I stood there and watched while Edward began to unbutton and unzip his black, dress pants and shimmy them down Jasper's legs. Tossing them over his shoulder, Edward grabbed Jasper's boxers and slid them off, letting them drop to the floor, as well.

"Are you two gonna just stand there? Or are you going to join us?" Edward asked. He looked over his shoulder. "Did you use all the hot water?"

"Yep," Alice chirped, grabbing my hand and pulling me over to the bed. We climbed on and she laid down next to Jasper, while I knelt on the edge. "But it didn't help. We're both very naughty girls."

"Naughty, huh?" Edward looked from her to me, the corners of his lips twitching. "Good thing we love naughty girls, right, Jas?"

"The naughtier the better," Jasper groaned, thrusting his hips toward Edward. His cock was rock hard. "Someone put their mouth on me right the fuck now."

Edward smiled and turned back before taking Jasper's cock in his mouth. I bit my lip, trying to stifle my moan. Watching the way Jasper's cock disappeared into Edward's mouth had me squeezing my legs together. The urge to touch myself was intense, but it felt wrong somehow.

"Oh, God, Edward!" Jasper cried out, fisting Edward's hair. "Don't stop, baby."

"You two are so fucking hot," Alice moaned, crawling over and straddled Jasper's face.

Grabbing the headboard, she lowered herself down on his mouth. Once again, I found myself fighting the urge to slide my fingers into my pussy. Instead, I moved over and knelt behind Edward, reaching around and undoing his pants. Pulling them down over his hips, along with his boxers, I let them drop to the floor. I ran my hand over his ass. Edward pushed against me, moaning around Jasper's cock. Dragging my fingers down, I pressed the tip of my index finger inside of him.

"Oh, goddamn, baby," Edward moaned, letting Jasper's cock out of his mouth. "Don't tease me like that."

"Tease you?" I giggled. "Of all the things I plan to do to you tonight, teasing isn't one of them."

To illustrate my point, I pressed my finger down a little harder. "Bella!"

Climbing off the bed, and causing Edward to whimper, I walked into our closet and pulled the box off the top shelf. I carried it out and placed it on the dresser, pulling off the lid and letting it drop to the floor. Over the last seven years of our relationship, we'd done our fair share of playing with our strap-on. At one point or another, I've used it on all three of them, and them on me. Toys had always been a way for us to keep our sex life new and fresh, but could I use it on Edward now? After everything that we've been through in the last three months, could I be that Bella again?

Looking over my shoulder, I bit my lip at what I was seeing. Jasper had shifted it so that Alice was lying on the bed, his face buried in her pussy while Edward was still sucking his cock while stroking himself.

_Yeah_, I thought, _I could do this. For them, and for me_.

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm my nerves, I slipped the strap-on up my legs and over my hips. A moan reverberated from my chest as the sensation of having it on; I'd always enjoyed the power that came with using it. I grabbed the bottle of lube from our nightstand before climbing back on the bed and settling behind Edward.

I placed my hand on his hip, causing him to release Jasper for the second time and look back at me. His eyes traveled down my nude body to the silicon dildo resting between my pelvic bones. A smile curved upward on his lips, causing me to blush.

"I told you this morning that I'd see about taking your ass tonight." I smirked and drizzled some lube on my fingers. Shifting my eyes up to Edward's, I pushed one finger inside of him. Edward groaned, his hand coming up to grip Jasper's cock. "Oh, you like that, huh?"

"Yes," he hissed. "Oh, God, yes!"

"Then, you'll really like this," I purred, adding another finger. Edward grunted, fueling on the desire I had to claim his body. Slowly, I pushed another finger into him, causing him to writhe under me.

"Baby, please," Edward begged.

"Please what?" I asked, aware that Jasper and Alice had changed their position. He now had her bent over the side of the bed, fucking her hard and fast from behind — just the way Alice loved it. They watched us with lustful eyes, waiting for me to fuck our husband. "Tell me what you want, baby."

"I — I, fuck, I — I want you," he pleaded, looking over his shoulder at me. "I need you. Please."

Smiling, I slipped my fingers out from him, adding more lube to my silicon appendage, and said, "You've got me already. You always have."

In one solid move, I thrust my hips, filled Edward until I was flush against him. Edward cried out, curling his fingers around the blanket. I set a slow, but steady pace, not wanting to rush our night together. Jasper suddenly pulled himself out of Alice, causing her to whine.

"Baby, slide under him," Jasper ordered, gesturing to Edward.

A wicked smirk spread over Alice's face as she did what he said. Edward groaned, telling me that Alice had taken his cock into her talented and sexy mouth. Jasper crawled up onto the bed, kneeling between her legs. With one hand on her thigh and the other one nestled in Edward's hair, Jasper pushed himself back in Alice's pussy. After a few thrusts, he pulled out and shoved his cock into Edward's eager mouth.

"That's so fucking hot," I moaned, quickening my pace. There was something about watching Jasper alternating between Alice's pussy and Edward's mouth that had me on the edge. But, as much as I wanted to let my release go, I needed Edward to find his first. "What's it feel like?"

"To have them both like this?" Jasper asked, panting heavily.

"Yes," I whimpered, fighting the sensation soaring through me.

"Amazing," he grunted, sliding back into Alice. "Fucking amazing."

"Bella, Alice, I'm close," Edward moaned. "Please, don't stop. I'm so close."

Tightening my grip on my hips, I thrust harder, faster, needing for him to come so I could. Alice brought her hands up to cover mine. The room was filled with the sound of our bed springs, our moans and groans, and the heaviness of our breathing.

"Oh fuck, I — I'm gonna come," Jasper gasped. Balls deep inside of Alice; he stilled his hips, letting his head fall back as he found his release. Pulling out, Edward attacked his cock, licking and sucking every last drop from Jasper. Once he had, he released him and leaned down to Alice's pussy, attacking her with gusto. A few moments later, Alice's body shuddered as Edward brought her to climax.

Edward leaned up, reaching back and grabbing my hand. Looking over his shoulder, he pushed back against me. "I love you," he murmured. "We love you."

"I—I love you, too," I breathed.

Keeping his grip on my hand, Edward's head fell forward and he nearly yelled, "Fuck." Coming in Alice's mouth, Edward found his release, freeing me to be able to take mine. Once we'd ridden out our orgasms, I slipped myself out of Edward, shimming the strap-on off and dropping it onto the floor. Alice, Jasper, and Edward lay back on the bed, panting and smiling. My cheeks turned pink as I moved up and settled between Edward and Alice.

"That was fun," I snickered.

"Fuck yeah it was," Jasper laughed. "Definitely need to do it like that again."

"Only next time," Edward said, bringing Jasper's hand up to his lips, "you get to be the one fucked in the ass."

The look of fear and lust that filled Jasper's eyes had peals of laughter pouring out from between my lips. Jasper, Alice, and Edward looked over at me and smiled. "Sorry," I giggled, "but I can't wait to fuck your ass again, Jas."

"Me either, beautiful," he replied. "Me either."

And in that moment, I wasn't afraid of having another baby, or what the future would hold for us.

**A/N: First, let me thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it more than you know. Now, I know it's been awhile between updates, and I have a million reasons why. First, I had major writer's block, then I had another short novella due on October 1****st****. Broken Hearts & Dusty Dreams will be released in December as part of Book Four of the Candy Collection, Sugarplum Dreams.**

**Then, I had two pieces due for two different compilations. First was the Fandom for Suicide Awareness. It's a cause that means a ton to me and I had to write for it. I will be posting it on FF starting on Nov 15. It will be a 29 chapter drabble-like fic that will be updated daily. The title is Shadow of a Shattered Life. **

**The other piece was an outtake of Cullen Ballet Academy for the StandUp4Katalina compilation. I will be posting that one on Jan 1.**

**Now, I can't promise that the next update will be soon, but I am going to try. I am doing NaNoWriMo this November and have to get 50K written in 30 days. Since I have another book due on December 1, I figured this would be great motivation.**


	44. Chapter 44

Everything was different. I couldn't explain why, or when, but I knew that everything had changed and I was different. I'd awoken early and settled out on the front porch with a cup of tea and a blanket. For the first time in months, when I woke up I wasn't afraid of what today would bring. The paralyzing fear that had nearly crippled me every morning for the last few months wasn't there, instead I found myself feeling hope. Tears filled my eyes; finally, I felt hope.

"Beautiful, what are you doing out here?" Looking over my shoulder, I smiled at Jasper. He was leaning against the door, a pair of plaid pajama pants hung lowly on his hips and looking sexier than ever. "It's barely six. And it's freezing. You're gonna end up with pneumonia"

"I couldn't sleep," I murmured.

Jasper nodded and came over to sit next to me. He reached out and took hold of my hand, bringing it up to his lips. "Another nightmare?"

My lips trembled as I shook my head. "No. For the first time in weeks, no."

"That's good, right?" he asked. I nodded, unable to keep my tears from falling. "Then why are you crying?"

"Because I'm okay," I whimpered. "I mean, like really okay. I went through hell and I survived."

Jasper slid his arm around my waist and shifted me so that I was sitting on his lap. Nuzzling the side of my neck, he whispered, "You're amazing; simply amazing. Every day you get just a little bit stronger."

"Because of you," I cried. "You, Edward, and Alice; you never gave up on me. Not even when I pushed you away."

"And we never will," Alice said. Looking over at the door, I wasn't surprised to see her and Edward standing there. He had his arms wrapped around her, and they were both smiling. Somehow they always knew when I needed them the most. "We've been through a hell-of-a-lot, baby, and we haven't run yet."

"I know," I wept. "I've always known that." Dropping my hand to my stomach, I smiled. "We're having a baby."

"I wonder if we'll be having another gorgeous little girl," Edward said as he and Alice came over to me and Jasper. He sat with Alice on his lap. "Or a handsome little boy."

"Girl," Jasper said at the same time Alice said, "Boy."

We all laughed.

Jasper smirked. "Want to bet on it?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at Alice.

"On what terms?" she challenged.

"Winner gets to control the other, have them do whatever beautifully, naughty things they want," Jasper said while Edward and I watched. "Are you up for it, baby?"

"Oh, yeah," she purred before looking at me and Edward. "Are you two in?"

"Oh, no," Edward laughed. "The last time we made this bet, I ended up spending the night on my hands and knees with a ball gag in my mouth and a dildo up my ass."

"I didn't hear you complaining," I teased. "In fact, if I remember correctly, you rather enjoyed the way I fucked your tight ass, just like I did last night."

Edward moaned. "Oh, I did, baby, but I would rather be the one fucking your ass this time." I blushed, causing him, Jasper, and Alice to moan. "You're blushing again!"

"Sorry, I can't help it!" I giggled.

"Oh, we know." Alice smirked as she leaned over and kissed me. "And we love that we can manipulate you like that."

I sighed, dreamily. "Yeah, I know. Anyway, you can count me out of the bet, too. I don't care what we have. I just want a healthy baby."

"She will be," Jasper said, smirking. "And when she is, I will make sure that you have your fun with Alice, too."

"You mean when our son is born healthy," Alice snickered. She stood up and headed inside the house. "Think I'd better do some shopping." She stopped and looked back at Jasper. "Think we need some new toys."

Jasper and Edward groaned. Alice stretched her hand out of me. I laughed and stood up, taking her offering. "Hmm, new toys? Maybe I should reconsider."

Alice spun me into her arms, slipping her hand inside of Edward's dress shirt that I'd slipped on this morning. I moaned as she cupped my breast, rolling my nipple between her fingers. Edward and Jasper reached for each other, their eyes locked on the way Alice's hand was moving beneath my shirt.

"Maybe you should," Alice purred, licking the side of my neck. Sucking on my earlobe, Alice released her hold on me and walked into the house, leaving the three of us panting for more.

"She's a goddamn tease," I muttered.

"Yeah, she is," Jasper groaned as he stood up. Reaching his hand into his pants, he adjusted his hard cock. "And she knows it."

"That she does, babe," Edward growled, standing up and sliding his hand into Jasper's pants, too. "Need some help with this?"

"Fuck, yeah, I do," Jasper moaned. However, the sound of the girls laughing radiated from inside and Jasper sighed. "But, it will have to wait."

Edward removed his hand from Jasper's pants and walked past me, muttering something about being cock-blocked by our daughters. Giggling, I shifted my eyes up to Jasper's and smiled. "Hmm, seems like a waste to allow a perfectly good hard-on to go away."

"It does, doesn't it?" Jasper groaned, stroking himself faster. Good thing our house was set far enough away from the street that nobody could see him with his hand inside of his pants.

Bringing my hand up to the top of my shirt, I undid the first button and said, "It really is."

Turning on my heel, I started into the house, but had only managed to take three steps when Jasper grabbed me from behind, sweeping me into his arms and carrying me upstairs to our bedroom. In a haste, he had me on the bed and was slipping his shorts off. Grabbing my panties, he slid them down my legs, and positioned himself between my legs. Lifting his eyes up to mine, he smirked and shifted his hips forward, filling me in a one, quick movement.

"Oh, fuck!" I cried, searching for anything to grab onto. "Jas!"

"You make me so hard," he gritted out, articulating his point with each thrust of his hips. "God, I can't get enough of you."

"Me — me either," I gasped. Jasper had barely been inside of me for more than a couple of minutes and I was already fighting the urge to let my release take over.

"Do you know what I love the most about you, beautiful?" Jasper asked, slowing his movements, almost torturing me with the way he handled my body.

"No," I groaned.

"Your spirit," he moaned. "Your heart, your soul. When we first met you, you told us that it was okay for us to love each other, that we could be a family together. No matter what happens, you're the one that keeps us together. You're the heart of our family."

"Jas," I wept, overcome by the mixture of his words and the way he was making love to me.

"It's true." Jasper's thrusts became erratic and I knew he was having a hard time putting his release off.

"I love you, Jas," I whimpered, covering his hand with mine. He shifted his eyes up to mine. "So much."

"I love you, too," he growled, stilling his hips and letting his release take over. The look of euphoria on his face was enough to send me over the edge, and together, we consummated our love once again.

The sound of the girls running upstairs broke through our peaceful moment and we'd just managed to slip our clothes back on when the door to our room was thrown open and they came rushing in.

"Mommy said to tell you that breakfast is ready," Mackenzie said, giggling as she flopped back on the bed.

"And that you two should hurry your buttons up, but she didn't say buttons. She said another word," Whitley added, lying next to her sister.

"I'm sure she didn't, Whit," I snickered, grabbing her bare feet and tickling them. She started laughing and twisting her body in an effort to get away from me.

"Mommy, stop!" she wailed through her peals of laughter.

In a heartbeat, Mackenzie was on her feet and climbing on my back, trying to stop me. I pulled her onto the bed under me and attacked her feet, too. With both girls laughing so hard they had tears pouring down their faces, I didn't hear Edward and Alice come in with the boys in their arms. They set the boys on the bed and they came crawling over to help their sisters. I let them pull me onto the bed, where they began crawling on me, peppering my face with kisses. It was the best moment of my life.

"Okay, enough!" Alice laughed and pulled Edison off of me while Jasper grabbed Jackson. "We're gonna be late. Downstairs and eat, now."

"Yes, Mommy," the girls said, giggling and climbing off the bed. Alice and Jasper followed them out of the room, both of them with smiles on their faces. Rolling onto my side, I brought my hand up to my chest and released a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, climbing up behind me. His hand came to rest on my hip. "Did the kids scare you?"

"No," I whispered through my tears. "For the first time since I was kidnapped, I wasn't terrified for them to touch me, Edward. I missed them so much."

"They missed you, too," he murmured, kissing my shoulder. "We all did."

"I love you," I said, looking over my shoulder at him. "I know I say it all the time, but I love you."

"Good thing I like hearing it," he chuckled. "And I love you, too. Now, let's get ready for work."

"Okay."

—EA—

Half an hour later, Edward and I joined everyone in the kitchen. While Alice and Jasper went to get ready for work, Edward and I ate and cleaned up. The girls were already dressed and the boys would wear their pajamas until they got to Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte's.

Once everyone was ready, we raced outside and into the van to take the girls to school. Our morning tickle session had caused us to be late, but I didn't care. Sometimes, we had to let ourselves go and just enjoy the moments as they came. Edward and Jasper rushed the girls inside while Alice and I kept the boys occuplied in the van. A few minutes later, they came back out and we headed toward our next destination.

Charlie and Peter scooped the boys out of our arms the minute they opened the door. I smiled at the sight of the two men awing over their grandchildren. Before I even realized what I was doing I leaned over, and wrapped my arms around Charlie and Jackson. Charlie seemed shocked and tensed up, but I wouldn't release him — I couldn't. He was my father, my daddy.

"Thank you for taking care of my sons," I whispered. "I needed you and you were there. That means so much to me, to all of us."

"It's what dads do," Charlie said, tentatively sliding his arm around my waist. "I'm always here if or when you need me, Bella. Never forget that."

"I won't," I cried. "Love you."

"I love you, too," he whimpered.

Pulling away from my father, I saw tears in his eyes. Leaning up, I kissed his cheek and then Jackson's before turning and hurrying to the van. I climbed into the backseat next to Jasper, laying my head on his shoulder and letting him comfort me.

"Amazing, you're amazing," he whispered just loud enough for me to hear him. Alice climbed into the front seat and looked back at me, but Jasper assured her that I was fine. And I was. Better than fine, actually. I couldn't explain why, but for the first time in weeks I wasn't afraid of what the future held for me, for us.

Twenty minutes later, Edward parked the van in front of the office and we climbed out. However, instead of walking in through the front door, I looked over to the parking garage. I couldn't keep letting fear hold me down. Taking a deep breath, I slipped my hands into Alice and Edward's and pulled them toward the parking garage.

"Bella, no, you don't have to do this," Edward said, trying to stop me.

"I do," I said, swallowing thickly. "I do and I need you to do it with me."

"Honey, there's no rush," Alice replied. I looked back at her. "You've taken some amazing steps today, but we aren't asking you to do everything right now."

"I know, but I need to do this." Sighing, I tried to organize my thoughts. "This isn't gonna make sense, I understand that, but I can't — no I refuse — to allow Demetri, or Alex, or the accident, or anyone else to stop me from living my life. This is just one more step toward becoming the woman I used to be."

Jasper shook his head as he stepped up to me and cupped my face between his hands, brushing my tears off with his thumbs. "You'll never be the same woman you were before and we're not expecting you to be her. You'll stronger, more beautiful than ever. If you really feel you can do this, then of course we're here for you, but only if you're sure."

I nodded. "I am."

"Okay, then let's do this." Jasper looked at Alice and then Edward. "She can do it."

Though I could tell Alice and Edward weren't sure if I was ready, they tightened their hold on my hands. With Jasper behind me, I started walking to the entrance of the garage again. My legs felt like I had weights wrapped around them, but I kept going. Pausing in the doorway, I took another deep breath and stepped over the threshold. Inside, I was weeping with each step I took. Once we reached the elevator, Edward nearly broke his finger pushing the bottom. I released my hold on Alice's hand and turned into Edward, allowing him to hold me. My entire body was trembling, but I'd done it: I'd made it across.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. I couldn't reply, every time I tried, I could feel the sobs trying to break through the surface. Edward didn't seem to care; he held me against him, doing everything he could to keep me on my feet. The elevator doors slid open and the four of us practically jumped inside. Looking at one another, we all started laughing at how silly we had to have looked.

"How about we have lunch together today?" Jasper asked while we rode the elevator to our floor. "I'm in the mood for Chinese."

"Sounds good," I said, knowing that Alice and Edward were waiting for me to give the okay. The doors slid open and we stepped out. Just like the day before, everyone on our floor had stopped and stared at me. Shaking my head, I sighed and looked at my lovers. "We'll meet here at noon, okay?"

"Okay," they murmured.

I ignored the people staring at me and headed to my office. I couldn't change the way they were behaving. My breakdown had planted a seed of doubt inside of them that I wasn't going to be okay. I'd have to prove to them that I could still run this company and I was up for the challenge.

Carlisle was already in my office when I walked in. Sitting on his side of my desk, he was already hard at work. I closed the door behind me and took my seat. But when I reached out and slipped the file out from under him, he sighed and looked up at me.

"I was working on that," he grumbled.

"I know, but we need to talk . . ." Hesitating for a moment, I added, "about yesterday."

Carlisle tensed up. "I don't want to talk about it. The message was received loud and clear, however, you need me here so I won't be leaving. They will just have to deal with it, because I will not abandon you again."

Sighing, I moved around to the other side of my desk and took the seat next to his. Reaching out, I grabbed his hand. "Alice didn't mean that she didn't trust us together. She was offering a way to give us a bigger office, so that we can work closer together without having to be in each other's faces all the time."

"Yeah?" he asked. I nodded. "If felt like she was saying that she doesn't want us to be working too closely together because they don't trust us, or mainly me."

"If that was the case, I never would have called you yesterday," I replied. Carlisle looked up at me, frowning. "Carlisle, I love you and you've done so much for me, but I love them more. If they had told me that they couldn't handle you being here, I would have been upset, but I would have respected their opinion. Each one of them saw how much I needed you and encouraged me to call you. They want you here, just as much as I do."

"They do?" he asked, thickly.

"Of course they do." I smiled. "We're a family, a screwed up one right now, but still a family."

"You're different today," he commented.

"I feel different today," I said, quietly. "I can't really explain it, but I woke up this morning and just knew that everything was okay. At least for today."

"I miss feeling like that," Carlisle muttered. "Last night, I went home and Catherine and Esme had cooked dinner so William and I were setting the table, just like we've done a hundred times before. We took our normal seats, and ate like we do every night, but I found myself sitting there wondering if this was going to be how we lived the rest of our live. Sitting around the table, making idle chit-chat, and pretending that everything wasn't different." Carlisle sighed. "I miss them, Bella. I know you don't want to hear this, but I miss the feel of their hands on me. I want to make love to them without being afraid that I'm gonna freak out and hurt them."

"Have you told them what you want?" I asked. Carlisle shook his head. "Why not?"

"Because they'll say that I'm not ready, when in reality they just don't want me anymore."

"You're wrong," I said, causing Carlisle to look up at me. "If you want them back, then seduce them. Woo them, and show them that you need them."

"You think that would work?" he asked.

"Of course I do," I giggled. "Carlisle, you were the one who told me that I could have Edward, Jasper, and Alice. You told us that our love was normal. You accepted us for who we are. Don't let fear cost you the people who make you happy."

Carlisle nodded. "I'll try. It's all I can do, right?"

"That's right." I smiled. "Now, let's get to work."

"Maybe making the adjustments to the office wouldn't be a horrible idea," Carlisle mumbled.

"We don't have to decide today," I said, moving back around my desk and taking me seat. "For now, let's just focus on work, okay?"

"Okay."

Handing him back the file I'd pulled away from him, he went back to work while I started on the next one in the pile. Yeah, today I felt different; I felt almost normal and I'd take that over feeling like my life was soaring out of control any day.

**Thank you for all the reviews. So, what are we thinking? Boy or Girl? It may be awhile before the next update, but I promise not to give up on this story. NaNoWriMo starts on Thursday!**


	45. Chapter 45

Early Friday morning, I rolled onto my side and reached for Edward, but found the bed empty. Frowning, I looked over at the clock and saw that we still had almost half an hour before the alarm was set to go off. Jasper and Alice were still fast asleep behind me, so I climbed out of bed and went searching for Edward.

I found him in the kitchen, standing in front of the stove and frying bacon. Smiling, I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, feeling him sigh at the contact.

"What are you doing up so early?" I asked.

"Making breakfast," he replied with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and mentally smacked myself for asking the obvious question. "That much I can see, but why are you making breakfast so early?"

"Mack and Whit have a field trip today, and they're eating lunch half an hour later than normal. So I figured I'd make sure they have an extra big breakfast to hold them over," he explained.

"Oh," I murmured, pulling back and leaning against the counter. Just one more part of their lives that I'd knew nothing about. "I didn't know they had a field trip today. Where are they going?"

"To a pumpkin patch to learn about Thanksgiving," he replied, before leaning over and kissing me. "And don't do that."

"Do what?" I asked.

"Feel guilty for not knowing," he said, knowing me all too well. "Mrs. White sent home a calendar of events on the first day of school. I'd forgotten about it myself until I was going through their folders last night and found the reminder note."

"Oh." I pulled my lip between my teeth before asking, "Are you going with them?"

Edward inhaled and I knew the answer before he said it. "No. Renee and Peter are, though, so it's okay."

Closing my eyes, I pushed back the guilt that was eating away at my soul. Edward wouldn't have forgotten about the trip if it hadn't been for me. He had only returned to work because I needed him, because I'd had a breakdown, and now our daughters were suffering for it. Before I could question him further, the door to the kitchen opened and Alice and Jasper came in with two very sleepy looking boys in their arms.

"Morning," Alice said, yawning and placed Edison in his highchair. Jasper put Jackson in his and sat down, leaning against the palm of his hand. "I hope there is coffee."

"It's brewing," Edward replied, grabbing cups from the cabinet and placing them in front of the pot. He leaned over and kissed Alice. "And good morning to you, too, baby."

Alice giggled, before looking over at me. Her smile turned into a frown. "Hey, are you okay? Bad night?"

"Um, no, the usual, but I'm fine," I told her, trying to put on my best smile. "Are the girls up yet?"

"No, they are pretending to be asleep until Edward comes to wake them up." Jasper laughed. "Apparently, my tickles don't compare to yours, babe."

"It's all in the fingers," Edward snickered, wiggling his fingers at Jasper, who moaned. He turned and handed me the fork he'd been using on the bacon. "I pass this over to you, baby. Do not let Jasper near the bacon."

"Ha-ha, so funny," Jasper grumbled having grabbed the boys some oatmeal and was trying to get Jackson to take a bit. "Start a fire once and suddenly you're not allowed to cook anymore."

"Once?" Edward lifted an eyebrow in Jasper's direction.

"Okay, twice, but the second one wasn't my fault," Jasper whined, pulling Alice into his lap. She squealed. "This little vixen distracted me with her talented mouth."

"Oh, baby, would I do that?" Alice purred.

"Yes," Jasper, Edward, and I answered together.

Alice pretended to pout, but it didn't work on us. Edward turned back to me. "I'm trusting you, Bella, with my bacon."

"I'll make you proud," I giggled.

Edward smiled, leaned down and kissed me again, before turning and hurrying upstairs. A few minutes later, we heard the sound of the girls laughing. _Music to my ears_, I thought with a sigh. Turning to the stove, I pulled off a couple strips of bacon and placed them on the plate. Edward was missing the girls' field trip because of me and my selfishness.

—EA—

A couple of hours later, Edward pulled the van up in front of the girls' school. Their school was still a hard place for me to be. Every time I found myself in the hallways, I found myself searching for Demetri. He'd used the guise of protecting my daughters as a way to get closer to me, something that I'd never be fully able to deal with, though I was trying.

Taking a deep breath, I gripped Mackenzie and Whitley's hands in mine and led them after Edward, Jasper, and Alice, who carried the boys into the building. Rose and Kate were standing outside of Jocelyn's classroom and looked up when they spotted us. Jocelyn ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist before I had time to even prepare.

"Look, Auntie Bella," she exclaimed, opening her mouth. "I lost a tooth!"

"I see that," I said, smiling. "Did the tooth fairy come?"

"No, I lost it this morning while eating some toast that Daddy made me. He burnt both sides, but I didn't tell him that I didn't like it," she rambled, sounding more and more like Emmett every day.

"Why not?" I laughed.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

"Oh, okay," I murmured.

"Jocelyn, come on. Mack and Whit need to get to class," Rose called out, waving their daughter back over. Jocelyn skipped over to Rose, who looked over at me. "Sorry, she's very excited about her tooth."

"She should be. It's a huge milestone," I murmured.

Kate placed her hand on Rose's back. "Just don't tell Garrett that he burned her toast. You know how he gets."

"I won't," I giggled. "We'd better go."

They nodded before ushering Jocelyn into her classroom. As we walked by, I saw them talking to her teacher, who looked completely at ease with their relationship. I envied them. Shaking my head, I followed everyone down to Mackenzie and Whitley's classroom, finding Jared and Garrett standing just outside the door with Mrs. White.

"Okay, so we'll be here at nine-fifty," Jared said. "Other than lunch, is there anything else we need to bring?"

"No, we're going to be taking a short tour of the patch, then listening to a story, before we have lunch and head back to school." Mrs. White turned and looked at me, tensing up. "Hello, Mrs. Cullen."

"Mrs. White," I muttered before turning and kneeling down in front of the girls. I brought a hand up to each of their faces. "Have fun today and be good. I want to hear every detail of what you do, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy," Mackenzie whispered before hugging me.

Whitley wrapped her arms around us. "Love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too," I whimpered, blinking back my tears. Letting them go was hard, but I managed to pry my arms from around them. The girls walked past me and into the classroom before I stood up and looked over at Mrs. White, who had a frown on her face. "Be careful with my girls today. Please."

"I will," she replied. "They worry about you a lot, Mrs. Cullen. Sometimes . . ." She trailed off and looked back at them.

"Sometimes what?" I asked.

Mrs. White turned back to me. "Sometimes they get this look in their eyes and I know that they are thinking about you. I'm very sorry for my behavior when school started. I was wrong for not seeing you for the way you really are."

"And how are we?" Alice asked, slipping her hand into mine.

Mrs. White smiled. "A family. Untraditional, but a family nonetheless."

The bell rang before I could reply and Mrs. White turned and walking into her classroom, calling her class to order. Sharing a look with Edward, Jasper, and Alice first, I followed them, Jared, and Garrett down the hallway. Just before we reached the office, the door opened and I gasped when James walked out of Phil Dwyer's office.

Alice looked back at me before she called out to him. "James?"

Though his back was to us, I saw James sigh and shake his head before he turned around. His eyes flittered from Alice, to Jasper and Edison, to Edward and Jackson, before landing on me. He turned back to her and said, "Hey, Alice."

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, looking around to make sure there weren't any children around. "I swear to God, James, if this is some kind of stunt to get back at us for dropping your account, I swear I will rip your —"

"It's not," James insisted, interrupting Alice. He looked over at me. "I promise."

Phil cleared throat, drawing all of our attention to him. It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn that James blushed from Phil's attention. "You might want to explain, babe,"

"Babe?" I blurted out. James sighed and lobbed his head in my direction. The red tint to his cheeks and the sparkle in his eyes told me everything. "Oh, wow, really?"

"Yeah," James admitted. I clamped my lips together to stop the laughter that desperately wanted to escape. "Go ahead and laugh, Bella. I know you want to."

"Oh, yeah, I do," I snickered, looking over at Alice, Edward, and Jasper. All three of them looked confused. "Guys, he and Phil are . . . together."

"What?" Alice gasped, looking from me to James. "No shit?"

Phil cleared his throat again. "Maybe we should take this into my office," he suggested. "You know, where there aren't little ears."

"Oh, right," Alice muttered.

"Here, Edward, I'll take the boys over to Charlie and Charlotte," Garrett offered, lifting the boys out of Edward and Jasper's arms. "Pretty sure you're gonna want to be here for this one."

"Yeah, thanks," Edward replied, swapping keys with Garrett so that he could take our van and we could take his car.

Garrett and Jared laughed as they walked out of the building. Rose and Kate were standing just outside and when Rose saw James, she opened her mouth to question why he was here, but Garrett simply said, "Bella will tell you later."

I followed Alice, Edward, Jasper, Phil, and James into Phil's office. Once the door was shut, we all shifted our attention to James, who sighed. "Yes, Phil and I are together. We've been seeing each other for the last year. When I decided to settle back in LA, he suggested that now would be a good time to reach out to you and Bella, Alice."

"Wait," Alice said, putting her hand up. "Let's deal with the fact that you're gay."

James huffed. "I really didn't think it would a big deal. Not to you and Bella, anyway."

"I don't give a fuck if you're gay," Alice scoffed. She shifted her eyes to Phil. "Sorry about my language. When I get pissed, I curse like a sailor."

"It's okay," he replied.

Alice turned to James. "You gave me so much shit about me and Bella. Now, you're gay?"

"I gave you crap about Bella, Alice, because you were supposed to be with me," James said, placing his hands on his hips. "It's not easy knowing that you're not enough for the person you're supposed to be in a relationship with, okay? I didn't handle very well."

"No kidding," I muttered.

James sighed and looked over at me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I cared about Alice, but it was clear to me that she would always pick you over me. I don't know. I guess I figured that if I drove a wedge between the two of you that she'd love me as much as I loved her, or as much as I thought I loved her."

Phil reached over and placed his hand on James' back. James' body relaxed at the contact. In all the time I'd spent around James, I'd never seen him so content.

I smiled. "So you're gay now?"

"No," he scoffed, but when I gestured to Phil, James grinned. "Okay, yeah. I can't really explain it. I mean, you know I've never been shy sexually."

"No shit," I mumbled, thinking of all the times I had to sit by and watch as he practically fucked Alice in front of me. "But I thought you were only into chicks. When'd you start taking dick?"

Phil laughed. "Wow, you were right about her, babe. She holds nothing back."

"What did he say about me?" I demanded to know. James began to laugh, but I didn't find any of it funny anymore. "Shut up, you son of a bitch!"

"Baby, calm down," Edward murmured, wrapping his arms around me.

I took a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I reached up and pulled Edward's arms tighter around me. Who knows what all dirty little tidbits he'd told Phil about? A shudder ran through me and I swallowed against the bile rising in my throat. "Tell me what he said about me."

"He just told me about his relationship with Alice, and how he'd hurt you," Phil explained. "It wasn't bad, I promise."

"Bella," James said, and I looked over to him. "It took a long time for me to accept that I wasn't the man for Alice, and once I did, it took even longer for me to admit that I was more attracted to men than women. When I met Phil in San Francisco last year, I fell hard for him and it scared the crap out of me."

Phil smiled and slid his arm around James' waist. "Kind of scared the shit out of me, too."

"This is so bizarre," Alice muttered, looking over at me. She brought her hand up to my cheek. "Are you okay? You're trembling."

I nodded, knowing that if I opened my mouth that I would lose what little breakfast I'd eaten. Alice turned back to James. "Why'd you come to us about your store? You knew we wouldn't be eager to work with you."

"I know, but I thought maybe I could make up for what I did," he said, shifting his eyes over to me. "And get the best architect I knew on the project. I'm selfish enough to admit that."

"Are you happy?" I asked him. "With Phil? Are you happy?"

James looked at the man holding him and smiled. "I've never been happier. He makes me feel . . ."

"Complete," Jasper, Alice, Edward, and I said together.

James and Phil laughed. "Yeah, complete," James agreed. He turned in Phil's arm and faced me. "Bella, I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. If I could go back, I would, but I can't."

"No, you can't," I muttered. "Did you find another firm to take on your project?"

James shook his head. "I killed the project. I didn't want just anybody on it."

Nodding, I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth. "You understand why I can't work with you, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do." James dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Maybe I can find someone at my company to do it," I murmured, feeling Edward, Jasper, and Alice look over at me. James shifted his eyes up to mine. "After everything from the last few months, I can't deal with you, but I don't want to see you give up on your dream. So, give me a few day and —"

"I'll do it," Jasper said. I shifted my attention to him. "I'll take the account."

"Are you sure?" I mumbled. "You're already swamped as it is."

Jasper smiled and brought his hand up to my face. "I'm sure. Embry can assist me. We'll be fine."

Nodding, I looked back at James. "Don't make me regret this."

"I won't," he assured me before looking at Jasper. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me." Jasper reached down and grabbed my hand. "If it was up to me, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but I know Bella well enough to know that she'll take it herself if I don't. She's been through enough shit, and I refuse to let you tear her down again."

"Fair enough," James said. He looked over at me and Alice. "Again, I'm sorry."

"So you say," Alice muttered, turning back to me. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Edward tightened his arm around me and led me out of the office with Jasper and Alice behind us. None of us spoke as we crossed the street and climbed into Garrett's Kai Sorento. I was in the backseat with Jasper, while Edward drove and Alice took the passenger seat. Edward started the car just as James and Phil walked out. James turned to Phil, saying something before he leaned in and kissed him.

"That's just . . ." Alice trailed off and shook her head. She looked back at me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I promised. "Just finding all of that to be extremely odd."

"Y'all didn't have any idea that James was gay?" Jasper asked.

"Well, I knew he enjoyed the occasional blow job from a dude, but who doesn't." Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Though, now, I'm starting to wonder if I do something that turns my ex's gay. First Mike and now James."

"Don't forget Jasper," I snickered, laying my hand on his knee. He inhaled as I slid my hand higher. "Hmm, I guess we are a bad influence, Ali. Mike, Tyler, Edward, Jasper, and James? We must be doing something to make them crave cock."

She smiled. "Apparently, though I can't imagine what?"

"It's watching you suck cock," Edward said. I looked over at him; find him staring at me through the rear view mirror. "It's sexy as fuck."

My cheeks warmed under his attention. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, baby," he assured me, smiling. "Total turn on."

"I'll have to remember that," I murmured, turning away from him.

I heard him and Jasper moan and call me tease under their breaths. I was many things, but a tease wasn't one of them.

—EA—

By the time we'd made it to the office, I'd made a decision that I wasn't sure Edward, Jasper, or Alice would agree with it, but in my heart, I knew it was right. We rode the elevator up to the floor and started toward our offices. As they had done since I came back at the beginning of the week, everyone stopped and stared at me. I was getting used to it, even if it did make me feel uncomfortable. Alice had a meeting so she rushed down to her office, and Jasper went to find Embry so he could update him on their newest project.

"Um, Edward, can you come to my office for a minute?" I asked.

He smiled, allowing his eyes to rake over my body. "Sure."

My skin warmed once again as I turned and led him down the narrow hallway, knowing full well that he was staring at my ass the entire time. Carlisle was sitting on the couch with a pile of paperwork on his lap when we walked in. He looked from me to Edward and started to stand up, but I held my hand up.

"Don't leave," I murmured.

Edward looked confused as he shifted his attention from me to his father, and back to me. "Bella, what's going on?"

"I, um, I'm sorry to have to do this, but . . ." I paused and closed my eyes. "You're fired."

**Thank you for all the reviews. I know this is confusing, but I will explain in the next update, I promise! Oh, and for those who are wondering, I totally won NaNoWriMo! **


	46. Chapter 46

Edward stood there with a look of pure and utter rage on his face, though before he could yell and scream at me, I heard myself telling him, "You need to leave the building now, or I — I'll have to call security."

"Leave," Edward hissed and I knew he wasn't talking to me. I shifted my eyes over his shoulder to Carlisle, shaking my head. "Don't listen to her, Dad. I said to leave."

"You — you don't get to tell him what to do," I muttered. "I — I'm the boss here and I'm telling you to leave, Edward."

Edward slammed his hands on my desk, causing me and Carlisle to both whimper and flinch away from him. He didn't seem to care as he turned his glare onto me. "No," he snarled. "I am not leaving, I am not fired. You're gonna tell me what the hell is going on right the fuck now!"

"Maybe I should go," Carlisle mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself and rocking on the balls of his feet. The tension in the room was thick and palpable, while I knew it was hard for Carlisle to be in here, I needed him to stay.

"Ya think?" Edward groused, looking back at him. "I'd like to speak to my wife in private."

Though Edward's words were full of malice, Carlisle didn't move. Instead, he shifted his eyes up to mine and waited for the go ahead from me. I couldn't give it to him. For the first time in the eight years that I'd been with Edward, I was terrified.

"Edward, just go home," I murmured.

"NO!" he screamed.

In a heartbeat, Carlisle crossed the room and had my body pinned against the wall, standing so that he was between me and Edward. The door to my office flew open as Jasper and Alice came rushing in. They shifted their attention from Carlisle and me over to Edward.

"What the hell is going on?" Jasper demanded.

Before I could explain, Edward lifted his hand and pointed at me. "She fired me."

"What?" Jasper gasped, turning to me. "Bella?"

"I — I . . ." I trailed off, feeling my lungs tighten and the air struggling to escape. "I . . ."

"Everyone needs to calm down," Alice said, before walking over to where Carlisle had me up against the wall. She reached out for me, but pulled her hand back when Carlisle growled. Alice shifted her eyes up to his. "I'm not gonna hurt her, Carlisle. You can trust me."

"Yeah?" he snarked, shifting his attention over to Edward. Jasper had pulled him away from my desk and had his arm around him, but the deathly glare was still on his face. "Bella?"

"It's fine," I mumbled, pressing my lips on the top of his shoulder. Carlisle nodded and stepped out from in front of me, but stayed within arm's reach of me. "Yes, I fired him, but I didn't have a choice. It was time."

"You had a choice," Edward sneered and I looked away from him. "Look at me, damn it!"

"What choice did I have?" I yelled, snapping my attention back to him. "Was I supposed to sit here and watch our children suffer more because of my selfishness?"

"What?" he asked, though this time his tone was calmer.

"They need you at home, Edward," I cried. "You promised me that when the time came that they needed you more than I did that you would go back home, but you're not. You're allowing my mom to go on the girls' field trip today and the boys are being dragged all over the city on a daily bases."

I paused and wiped the tears off my cheeks before dropping my hand to my stomach. I was almost fifteen weeks along and already had started to show, though we hadn't announced my pregnancy to anyone other than family. "We're having another baby and he or she is gonna need you there. I'm sorry, but if you won't make the choice to go back home, I — I'll do it for you. Leave my building, and go home to our children."

"Bella," Edward sighed.

"No," I wept. "They need you, and I need you to be there with them. Please, just go."

"You're such a stubborn bitch," he muttered before he pulled himself out of Jasper's arms and walked around my desk. I flinched when he brought his hand up toward my face, causing him to drop his hand to his side. "I won't hurt you."

"I know," I lied, because right now I didn't know that. The rage on his face had my entire body trembling.

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for how I reacted. I just wasn't expecting you to fire me."

"They need you," I whispered.

"You need me," he murmured, sliding his hands along my face and tilting my head back. "Are you sure you'll be okay? I don't want to leave you when you need me."

"Yes."

Edward closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss me. "Fine, but I swear to God, baby, if you need me here and you don't tell me, I will be so fucking angry."

"I know," I mumbled.

"We'll talk about it later," Edward groused. "Looks like I have a field trip to get to." Edward shifted his eyes over to Carlisle. "Dad —"

"Don't," Carlisle grumbled. "I know."

"No, you don't," Edward said, walking over and hugging Carlisle. "Take care of her, please. I am begging you to keep her safe for me."

"I — I will," Carlisle replied, returning his son's hug.

Edward released him and walked out of my office without another word. I fell into my chair and cried, feeling my entire body shaking. The last thing I'd wanted was to hurt Edward, but the kids had to come first. For once, I was determined to put our children before my own selfish needs.

—EA—

I'm not sure how long I sat at my desk with my arms wrapped around myself and my tears dripping down my face. Alice and Jasper had moved so that they were kneeling next to me, even though I didn't deserve their comforting hand. Edward had given up everything for me when he came back to work and here I was, throwing it in his face and hurting him. Though I knew he understood why I needed him to be at home with our children, I'd still hurt him. In his eyes, I was choosing work over him — again.

"Are you okay now?" Jasper asked, once my tears had dried up. I nodded, unsure of what to say to him. He reached over and lifted my chin, tilting my head back. "Why didn't you tell us you going to do this?"

"You would have stopped me," I admitted.

"Yeah, we would have," Alice said and I looked over at her. "I've got to get back to work, but we're gonna talk about this later, Bella."

"Okay," I whispered.

Sighing, Alice leaned in and kissed me. "You're so damn stubborn."

Alice stood up and headed back to her office, taking Jasper with her. I leaned back in my seat and looked over at Carlisle. He was standing in front of the window, a palm resting on the glass and the other on his hip.

"Suppose you think I'm wrong, too," I groused.

Carlisle looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. "No, I don't actually."

"No?" I lifted an eyebrow.

Carlisle laughed, turned and walked over to my door, shutting it. "No. I think you're kind of a bitch with the way you handled it, but I get it. You're doing what you need to."

"I'm getting tired of people calling me a bitch," I muttered.

"Sorry," he mumbled, taking his usual seat across from me.

"No, you're not." I sighed. "The girls needed him today and instead of being able to be there for him, he had to rely on Renee and Peter. Charlie and Charlotte have to work around the boys every day. It's not right when Edward would rather be there with them. He thrives on being super dad."

"You don't have to explain your decision to me, Bella," Carlisle replied.

"No, I know that," I groused. "For a moment there, I thought he was going to hurt me."

"Me too," Carlisle admitted. "But he won't because he loves you."

"Will he still now?" I asked, shifting my eyes over to the picture of him, Alice, Jasper, and I on our honeymoon.

"I may not know a lot right now, Bella, but the one thing I do know is that my son will never stop loving you," Carlisle said. "Ever."

"I hope you're right," I whispered. "I really do."

—EA—

By the time I packed up my work and headed to the elevator, word had spread about me firing Edward. The glares and hardened stares that followed each step I took told me everything about how the people of Cullen Architecture felt about me and my decision. I wanted to scream at them to understand, plead with them to see that I did what I felt I needed to in order to protect my family. But I didn't. Instead, I stood there and listened to the whispered accusations and felt their penetrating stares boring into my back like white, hot daggers. No less than I deserved.

"I don't know about you but I'm ready for the weekend," Embry said as he, Alice, and Jasper joined Carlisle and I at the elevator.

"Big plans?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from breaking. I failed.

"Jared and I are taking Clay to the zoo," Embry explained. "Been a while since we've been and the weather is supposed to be nice."

"Sounds like fun," I murmured.

"You should bring the kids," Embry suggested.

"Sorry, we can't," Jasper said before I could utter a sound. "The girls have a birthday party to go to, and Alice and I are taking the boys get haircuts."

"Oh, well, that sounds nice," Embry said, though his eyes were still on me. "Right, Bella?"

"Yeah." Of course I didn't tell him how I had no idea about the birthday party or Alice and Jasper's plans to cut our sons' hair. Just one more example of how much of their lives I was missing because I was too wrapped up in myself. Huffing, I reached over and pressed the down button for the elevator again. "Why is this fucking taking so long?"

When the doors didn't open, I growled. "Fuck this shit, I'll take the stairs."

Spinning on my heel, I started toward the stairwell, but stopped when Alice grabbed my hand. I looked over my shoulder.

"I'll go with you," she said. Nodding, I allowed her to slip her fingers in between mine. Together, we took the stairs toward the lobby. "Do you remember our first Christmas here?"

"Yes," I murmured. "It was right after Emmett and Rose got engaged, before the retreat."

"You and I had come to the company Christmas party together. Eric Yorkie caught you under the mistletoe and tried to demand a kiss from you. Do you remember what I said?"

I smiled, feeling my cheeks turn red. "You told him I'd just come down with Mono and that if he wanted to catch it he should kiss me. Then, you slipped your hand into mine, led me out here into the stairs, and proceeded to eat my pussy until I was nearly screaming your name."

"Good times," she giggled, stopping on the landing between the second and third floor. Placing her hands on my hips, Alice pressed her body against mine. "Tell me that you honestly feel that Edward staying home is the right decision."

"I do," I whispered. "The kids need him."

"You need him. I need him. Jasper needs him. We all need him."

I sighed. "Did you know the girls had a field trip this morning?" When she didn't reply, I knew she had. "That's what I thought, but I didn't. Instead of Edward being there with them — where he was supposed to be — he had to come to the office, leaving Renee and Peter to go. We said after Whitley was born that we didn't them raising our children for us, yet that's what they've been doing."

"They're just helping," Alice insisted.

"I know that, and I'm thankful for their help, but it's time for our lives to get back to normal. And that includes Edward going back home."

Alice sighed and brought her hand up to my cheek. "You get stronger every day."

"I'm trying to," I said, quietly.

"Let's go home. I think we need to sit down and talk about this together — like a family."

Nodding, I followed Alice down to the lobby. Jasper was waiting out front of the building with a cab. Alice slide in first with me in the middle and Jasper on the other side of me. Giving the driver our address, Jasper covered my hand with his, but didn't say anything to me. He'd struggled the most with Edward's decision to stay at home with Whitley when she was born. Much like Alice and I, he and Edward had been best friends turned lovers. Sighing, I shifted over and leaned my head on his shoulder, hoping that he'd understand eventually.

Once the cab pulled up in front of the house, Jasper dug out of his wallet and paid the driver before we climbed out and headed inside. The moment I walked in, I knew I'd made the right decision. Edward was sitting on the couch in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The girls were snuggled up next to him while the boys were in his lap. At the sound of us coming in, Edward looked over, his eyes sliding from Alice to Jasper and then finally to me.

"Hey," he said, quietly. The girls diverted their attention to us, smiling as they jumped to their feet and rushed into mine and Alice's open arms.

"Hey," I whimpered, holding Whitley as close as I could and sliding to the floor. "Did my girls have a good day?"

Whitley and Mackenzie started rambling on and on about every detail of their day, from when they loaded onto the buses to when they looked back and saw Edward pull up behind the bus with the boys. While they spoke, I kept my eyes locked on Edward's, who watched me sitting in the middle of the floor with our daughters. This right here was why Edward needed to be at home.

"Okay, girls, let Mommy breathe," Edward said when they finished their story. He stood up. "I'd better go finish dinner."

The girls settled back on the couches with the boys, making funny faces and getting them to laugh. Slowly, I stood up and walked upstairs to our bedroom and changed out of my work clothes, choosing to put on a pair of Edward's pajama pants and one of Jasper's T-shirts.

"You know he loves it when you wear his clothes," Jasper said from the doorway. I smiled and looked back at him. He smirked before he pushed off the doorway and walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my torso. "So do I actually."

"I know," I whispered, letting my head back on his shoulder as his fingers grazed over my nipples. "Jas."

"What?" Jasper turned and pressed his lips to the side of my neck. "I've had this imagine of you on your knees all day, beautiful. Do you know what you were doing?"

"Na uh," I moaned, reaching back and grabbing onto his hips. I could feel his erection pressing into me.

"You were sucking Edward's cock while fucking yourself with your fingers." Jasper groaned, pushing against me so hard that I stumbled face-first into the wall. Jasper's arms unwound from my body and he gripped my hips, grinding himself against my ass. "It was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen."

"Jas," I breathed, trying not to beg for him to pull my pants down and fuck me.

"Yeah, baby?" Jasper had just started pulling at the waist band of my pants when someone cleared their throat. We snapped our heads over, finding Alice standing in the doorway with Mackenzie and Whitley in front of her, a hand covering their eyes. "Oh, shit."

"Daddy!" Whitley gasped, trying to look around Alice's hand. "You said a bad word."

"I know, honey, I'm sorry," he muttered, releasing his hold on me and stepping away.

Alice was biting her lip and trying not to laugh. "Um, dinner's ready."

"Okay," Jasper mumbled.

I was embarrassed. My daughters had caught Jasper trying to pull my pants down while pressing me against the wall. What kind of mother did that make me? Wrapping my arms around my torso, I stumbled past Alice and the girls toward the stairs. However, I missed the first step and screamed as I fell, hitting each step hard before finally rolling onto the floor in the entry way.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I shall go into hiding while I work on the next chapter, lol.**


	47. Chapter 47

"Oh, my God, Bella!" Jasper yelled, rushing down the stairs, and dropping to his knees next to me. "Baby, are you okay?"

"My hip hurts," I cried, wincing as I rolled from my side onto my back. A sharp pain shot down my leg and up my side, a pain I hadn't felt since the accident that nearly took my life from me. Alice had the girls on the bottom step, trying to console them as they cried into her shirt.

"What the fuck?" Edward bit out when he walked out of the kitchen. He looked from Jasper down to me, and his eyes flew open. Rushing to my side, he propped me up on his knees. "Bella, baby, what happened?"

"She fell down the stairs, says her hip hurts" Jasper explained, standing up and pulling his cell-phone from his pocket. "I'm calling for an ambulance."

"No," I screamed, trying to scramble to my feet, but he and Edward reached down and pinned me to the floor.

"Bella, honey, we have to make sure that you and the baby are okay," Edward explained.

"No ambulance," I begged, clutching onto Edward's hand. "Take me to Esme, but don't leave me alone in an ambulance, please! Please!"

"Okay, calm down," Edward insisted. He looked over at Jasper. "Call Esme and tell her to meet us at the hospital." Jasper nodded and began calling Esme. Edward turned to Alice. "Call Peter and Renee and see if they can stay with the kids."

Alice, however, shook her head. "I'll stay here with the kids."

"Are you sure?" Edward asked, but when Alice tilted her head in my direction he saw the look of desperation on my face and said, "Okay."

"Esme said she will be there in ten minutes," Jasper muttered, shoving his phone into his pocket.

"Stay here with Alice," Edward ordered before lifting me off the ground. I cried out, wrapping my arms around him. Jasper looked like he was going to argue with him, but then nodded his head and opened the front door. "I'll call as soon as I know something."

"Love you," Jasper said, leaning up and kissing Edward. Looking down at me, he smiled. "I'm so sorry, beautiful."

"Not your fault I'm clumsy," I mumbled.

"I love you," he whispered, brushing his lips across mine.

"Love you, too," I echoed.

Edward tightened his arms around me and carried me out to Jasper's truck, loading me in the front seat before helping me with my seatbelt. I could feel his hands shaking, or maybe it was the way my body was trembling. Once he had the belt on, he rushed around to the driver's seat and climbed in. Starting the truck, he hurried down the road and headed toward the hospital.

"Fuck," I cringed when I tried to shift my position that didn't feel like someone was stabbing me with white, hot pokers.

"Don't fucking move," he hissed, looking over at me. He must have seen the look of fear in my eyes because he took a deep breath and said. "Please, don't move. You might have a broken bone, or internal bleeding or I don't know."

"Sorry," I whispered, looking out the window.

Edward pulled up in front of the emergency room a few minutes later. Esme and Carlisle were waiting for us. I wasn't surprised to see him there; the minute he heard that I was hurt, he would have moved Heaven and Hell for me — just as I would do for him.

Jumping out of the truck, Edward raced around to my side, gently lifted me out, and placed me in the wheelchair that Esme had waiting for me. "She fell down the stairs and says that her hip hurts," he told Esme before she could utter a sound. "What the hell are you just standing around for? Help her!"

"Edward," I cried out and grabbed his hand. "Stop. She's gonna help, but you have to give her a chance."

Edward's fingers tightened around mine and he exhaled. "I'm sorry. Please, just help her."

"I will," Esme said. "Let's take her inside and see what we're dealing with."

Edward insisted on pushing my chair inside. Esme led us through the back to a private examination room, but waited until Edward lifted me out of the chair and placed me on the bed before she started questioning me on what happened.

"I was upset, and missed the top step," I muttered, feeling like an idiot.

"What were you upset about?" Edward asked before Esme could. From the corner of my eye, I saw her give him a dirty look.

A warm blush crept up over my cheeks. "Jasper and I were . . . messing around, and Alice and the girls came in to tell us dinner was ready," I mumbled. "But they didn't see anything. I mean, I wasn't . . . he didn't . . ." Huffing, I shook my head. "He was talking . . . dirty to me and I don't know. I guess I got embarrassed and wasn't paying attention. I'm so fucking stupid sometimes," I groused.

"You're not stupid," Edward insisted causing me to look up at him. "This isn't your fault."

"I should have been paying more attention." I frowned, thinking of so many things I'd been missing because I was so busy wallowing away. The kids, my lovers, my family — all of them had suffered because of me. Turning toward Esme, I released a heavy breath. "My hip hurts, like really bad."

"Okay," she replied, moving over to me. I tried to stop the way my body tensed when she reached for the top of my pants — I really did — but I failed. "Do you want him to hold your hand?"

I shifted my eyes up to hers before looking past her at Carlisle, who'd been standing next to the door. "Are you gonna hate me if I say yes?"

"No," she whimpered. "I'll never hate you, Bella."

Tears filled my eyes as I looked back at Edward. Taking hold of my hand, he brought it up to his lips and simply nodded. Though I tried to stop them from falling, my tears sprinkled down my face as I reached my other hand out to Carlisle. He quickly crossed the room and grabbed it, bringing it up to his chest.

"Tell me to stop if it gets to be too much," Esme whispered.

"Okay," I breathed, trying to keep myself from hyperventilating as she tugged on my pants.

Slowly, she lowered them down my hip, along with my panties. I hissed when she pressed down and pain shot up through me once again. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I need to take an x-ray to make sure that you haven't damaged your hip again."

"What about the baby?" I cried. "It's too dangerous."

"Are you having any cramping? Pain in your back or abdomen?" Esme asked.

"No, just my hip," I said. "Is that bad?"

"No, it's not bad." Esme smiled. "I'd like to do an ultrasound first, make sure the baby is okay, but I think we need to do an x-ray."

"Okay, if you're sure," I agreed.

"I'll be right back," Esme said.

She came back a few minutes later with an ultrasound machine and sat down on the side of my bed. Carlisle and Edward helped me roll onto my back, both of them cringing when I cried out from the pain in my hip. All I could think about was the months I spent on crutches and my wheelchair after I woke up from my coma. The last thing I wanted was to have to rely on either of those again, but something told me with the pain in my hip that I wouldn't have a choice.

"Carlisle, will you dim the lights, please?" Esme asked.

Though I could tell it was difficult for him, Carlisle released my hand and walked over and turned off the lights. Only the dull glow from the machine provided us with much of anything. A moment later, I felt his hand slip back into mine. Esme kept her eyes on mine as she lifted my shirt, keeping my breasts covered but exposing my expanding abdomen.

"This will be cold," she murmured before squirting the gel onto my skin.

I yelped, causing Carlisle to laugh. I glared at him, but he shrugged it off. "She warned you."

"Whatever," I muttered. The sound of Esme laughing filled my ears for the first time in weeks. I shifted my attention to her and grabbed her hand. "I've missed you, Esme. You were the first person to tell me it was okay to love Edward, Alice, and Jasper. You held me when I cried, helped me get my life back after the accident. I miss you every day, Esme."

Esme frowned. "I miss you, too, Bella. I didn't know how to help you this time. When you and Carlisle were taken, I felt like . . ."

"Your soul had been ripped from you," Edward whispered, drawing all of our attention to him. He leaned his forehead against my hand. "Every moment that passed felt like a hundred years. Not knowing where you were, or if we'd ever get to look upon faces again."

"Or tell you that we loved you," Esme added, and when I looked over at her, I saw her staring at Carlisle. "Will always love you."

"Always?" he asked.

"Forever," she vowed.

Feeling like I was interrupting their private moment, I shifted my attention over to Edward. He was watching me with tears in his eyes. I slipped my hand out of his and brushed the moisture off his cheeks. Edward leaned into my hand.

After a moment, Esme cleared her throat and pulled us all out of our super-heavy, emotional moment. "Let's, um, get this over with."

"Okay," I murmured.

Esme turned to the ultrasound machine and placed the wand on my stomach. I released a heavy breath when I saw our baby's heartbeat flashing on the monitor. All I could think was thank God.

"Is he or she okay?" I asked.

"Seems to be," Esme replied looking over her shoulder. "Do you want to know if you're having a boy or a girl?"

"Um, I don't know." I turned to Edward, "Do we?"

"We hadn't really discussed it yet," he chuckled, clearly relieved that our baby was okay. "Maybe we should wait until Alice and Jasper are with us?"

"You're right. Ali would kick our asses if we found out without her being here," I giggled and looked back at Esme. "Guess we're waiting."

"Probably a good idea." Standing up, she pushed the machine away and cleared off my stomach while Carlisle turned on the lights. "I'm gonna order the x-ray so we can check your hip. Now, did you hit your head?"

"I don't think so, but honestly, it happened so fast," I replied.

Esme nodded and took a few minutes to do a full exam, checking to make sure I didn't have a concussion. Sighing, she placed her hands on her hips. "Well, you seem okay, with the exception of your hip."

"My lovely hip," I snarked, shaking my head.

"It's sucks, sweetheart, but you know it's always gonna be an issue for you. I'm going to check to see how long the wait for x-ray is."

"Okay," I mumbled. Esme turned and walked out of my room. Carlisle watched her like he wasn't sure he should follow her or be here for me. Though it was hard, I slipped my hand out of his, drawing his attention down to me. "Go to her."

"Nah, she doesn't need me following her," he groused reaching for my hand, but I pulled it away.

"But you need to be with her, so go," I insisted. Carlisle frowned. "It's okay, I understand."

"She's gonna be right back, not like she's left for good or anything," Carlisle grumbled, and when the door opened and Esme came in, he gestured back to her as if to prove his point. I rolled my eyes and looked at Esme.

"How much longer?" I winced again.

"About an hour. Busy night," she sighed and settled on the side of the bed. "I can get you some Tylenol, but I don't really want you to have anything stronger than that right now."

"I'm fine," I lied, and Edward snorted. I turned to him. "I'm okay."

Edward smirked. "You've never been a good liar, baby; you really shouldn't start trying to be one now."

"Fine, it hurts like a son of a bitch. Better?" I jibed.

"No," Edward muttered with a frown. "I don't like it when you hurt."

"Me either," I whispered, trying to find a position that didn't cause my body to feel like it was on fire. "But it doesn't seem to matter. Pain is just a part of my life."

—EA—

Three hours later, Esme released me from the emergency room. Thankfully, my x-rays showed that I hadn't broken or torn anything in my hip. She thought that I'd might have just pulled a tendon and ordered me on bed rest through the weekend, to put heat on my hip, take Tylenol if needed, and told me to be in her office bright and early Monday morning for another checkup.

By the time we got home, Alice and Jasper had the kids in bed and were sitting on the bottom step of the stairs. They looked up when Edward carried me inside the house.

"Oh, Bella," Alice cried, rushing over to me. "Baby, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I muttered, grabbing her hand. "Just tired and hurting. Are the kids okay?"

"They're fine, beautiful, just worried about you," Jasper insisted. "Took a while to calm the girls down and get them to eat dinner. They finally fell asleep about an hour ago."

"Bella's on bed rest for the weekend," Edward explained. "Jas, will you get her some water? Ali, find the heating pad, please? She's gonna need it. I'm taking her upstairs so she can lie down."

"On it," Jasper said, rushing off to the kitchen while Alice simply nodded her head.

Edward tightened his arms around me and carefully carried me upstairs and into our bedroom. Laying me on our bed, he tried to be gentle but any jarring motion had me crying out.

"Oh, fuck, I'm sorry, baby," he fretted.

"It's okay," I gritted, shifting myself up so that I was leaning against my pillows.

Jasper and Alice came in a moment later. Edward walked into the bathroom and came back out with a bottle of Tylenol. I didn't argue with him as I swallowed a couple with one of the bottles of water Jasper had brought me. Alice plugged my heating pad in and Jasper and Edward helped me roll onto my side so that I could place it on my hip. Both Jasper and Alice hissed when they saw the swelling and bruising that had already started to show.

Once they changed into their pajamas, they climbed into bed around me. Edward curled his body up behind me, placing his hand on top of the heating pad and making sure it didn't move. Alice faced me with Jasper behind her, though he had hold of my hand. For several minutes, we enjoyed the peaceful silence. Every once in a while Edward would kiss my shoulder, or Alice would lean in and press her lips against mine, but mostly, we just laid there.

"How can ask me to leave you there?" Edward whispered, breaking through the silence. "After what happened tonight, how can you ask me not to be with you all the time?"

"They need you here," I murmured, grabbing his hand and bringing it up around my body to my lips.

"You need me," he pleaded.

"I do, but not like they do," I whispered.

"Bella, you're doing amazing, none of us are arguing that with you, but it's too soon for Edward to leave the office," Jasper stated.

I shook my head. "They need him here. It's not fair to ask the kids to give up on what's normal for them any longer. They deserve better than to be shuffled around between their grandparents' houses. I won't sit around and let my selfish needs take that away from them any longer."

"Bella, it's not selfish to want Edward at work with us," Alice insisted. I rolled my eyes. "It's not!"

"It is!" I groused and moved to sit up, but all three of them pushed me back down. Huffing, I looked over my shoulder at Edward. "Can you honestly tell me that you'd rather be working than here with the kids?"

Edward shifted his eyes away from mine. "No, I can't."

"You shouldn't have to be, not because of me." I sighed and brought my hand down to my stomach. "When the new baby comes, I don't want him or her being shuffled off to one of their grandparents. If you won't stay home with them, Edward, then I guess I will do it."

Edward growled into my shoulder, which turned me on. "That's not fair."

"None of this is fair," I grumbled.

"Are you sure? Because I don't want to let you down." Edward's grip on my hand tightened.

"I'm sure," I whimpered. "I'll miss the fuck out of you, lover, but it's time for me to deal with my shit and get our lives back to normal, or as normal as we can be."

I felt Edward shake his head against my shoulder, but he whispered, "Okay, for them. But you have to swear to me that if you need me that you will call. Promise."

"I promise," I sobbed, turning my face into my pillow. "I promise."

"God, this really sucks," Jasper muttered. "I was just getting used to all those lunchtime blowjobs."

I laughed through my tears and looked over at him. "Getting or giving?"

Jasper smirked. "A little of both."

"Oh, poor, Jas," Edward teased. "I guess you're gonna have to let Ali and Bell take care of your needs."

"Oh, and we will." Alice smirked and looked over to me. "Right, baby?"

Pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth, I felt my skin warm under their lustful gazes. "Once I'm able to get on my knees, Jas, your cock is mine."

Jasper rolled onto his back and groaned, causing me, Edward, and Alice to laugh. I almost felt normal again — almost.

**Thank you for all the reviews. See, I didn't make you wait too long, lol. I think we're getting close to the end, kiddos. Maybe 5, 6, 7 more chapters to go.**


	48. Chapter 48

"So, I'm thinking that you should just wear something loose," Alice murmured, flipping through my clothes. "Skirt or pants?"

"Pants," I replied, from my position on the bed.

With the exception of when I needed to pee and when I finally took a shower this morning, I hadn't left our bed in two days. Even then, Edward or Jasper carried me back and forth. Needless to say I was sick and damn tired of my bed. The girls had been in and out, trying to take care of me in whatever way they could, but not really knowing what they could do. With my hip swelling to nearly twice the size it should be and the bruises on my arms and legs, they seemed to be afraid to get too close to me. Not that I could blame them, I looked horrible.

"Pants it is." Alice smiled as she pulled out a pair of my black yoga pants and laid them on the bed. Grabbing a white T-shirt, a lace bra, and matching pair of panties, she came back over to me. She held the panties up and looked down at my hip. "Are these gonna hurt too much? Maybe you should wear a thong, or just go without."

"Um, no," I snarked, grabbing the satin boy-cut panties from her hand. "I will not be going to Esme's office without panties on, Ali. Even if it would make you happy."

She gasped. "Me? Why would I want you to go without panties?"

I smirked, seeing right through her. "So you can fuck me with your fingers."

Alice smiled. "You know me too well."

"Oh, I know," I giggled. "These panties will be fine. Now, do you need to get Edward or Jasper to help me get dressed or can you manage without burying your tongue inside of me?"

"Well, as hard as it will be to keep my hands and tongue to myself, I think I can manage by myself. Unless you'd rather one of them come in and help." Alice lifted an eyebrow in my direction. "Now, that could be fun."

"Alice," I laughed, shaking my head. "Is sex all you think about?"

"It is when you're in the room."

"You're incorrigible," I murmured.

"Would you have me any other way?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"No," I admitted. "I love you just the way you are."

"Good, because I love you naked like this," she teased, running her fingers over my nipples.

"Alice!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, okay; I'll stop." She laughed as she leaned down and slipped my panties on over my feet and tugged them up to my knees. "Can you stand up long enough for me to pull them up?"

"I think so," I whispered.

Having been in bed for two days, my body was sore and tense. I managed to stand up, but the pain in my hip shot up through my side and down my leg. I was barely able to stay on my feet long enough for her to slid my panties up. Falling back onto the bed, I rolled onto my side and tried to hide my tears, but when Alice climbed up next to me and wrapped her body around mine, I knew I failed.

"Shh, baby, it's okay," she soothed.

"God, it hurts!" I wept.

"I know," she murmured. "I'm gonna go get Edward or Jasper so they can help, okay?"

I nodded and she left me alone. I felt weak and useless. I couldn't even dress myself without help and I hated it. All I could think about where the months that I relied on them to help me into the bathroom, the months of carrying me up and down the stairs. The last thing I wanted was to have to go back and be that Bella again.

Trying to shake off those thoughts, I pushed myself up and put on my bra and shirt. At least I'd be able to keep some of my dignity. Alice came back a few minutes later with Jasper behind her. Though he wouldn't admit it, I knew he felt responsible for my trip down the stairs. It wasn't his fault that I freaked out over nothing.

"Alice!" he whined. "You said she was naked!"

"She was," Alice giggled.

"Yeah, yeah," Jasper grumbled, but winked at me. "Now, beautiful, I know I'm usually trying to get you out of your pants, but this time, I am going to attempt to help you in them."

"Ha-ha." I rolled my eyes.

Jasper managed to slip my pants up without causing me too much pain, though it was hard to lift my hips high enough for him to pull them up. Alice pushed a pair of flip flops on my feet before Jasper lifted me off the bed and carried me downstairs, being extra careful.

Edward had the girls ready and they were standing by the door when we came down. Alice rushed over and took the Edison from him, while Jasper carried me out to his truck, placing me in the front seat. He climbed into the driver's seat and we waited until Edward and Alice had the kids loaded up into the van before we set off. I knew there was no way that Esme was clearing me for work today, and I tried to insist that Jasper and Alice go on in while Edward took me in to see Esme, but they flat out refused. I knew what battles to fight and this wasn't one of them.

Our first stop was the girls' school. Jasper left me in the truck while he and Edward ran the girls inside, not wanting them to be late. A few minutes later, they came back out with Garrett, Jared, and Rose. Sighing, I watched as the three of them made a beeline for the truck with Jasper following with an amused look on his face.

I rolled down the window just in time to hear Jared start yelling, "Isabella Cullen, I can't believe you didn't call us immediately when you fell. Embry and I would have come and stayed with the kids. Gah, when are you going to learn to let us help you?"

I waited until he was done to calmly reply. "Call me Isabella again, Jared, and I will beat you to death with a spoon."

He scoffed, though the corners of his mouth did twitch up. "Seriously, why didn't you call us?"

"Um, well, because I didn't think about it." I shrugged my shoulders. "I was kind of in a lot of pain."

Jared sighed. "I suppose I understand that. Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I still hurt a lot," I admitted.

"Oh, Bella," Rose whimpered, reaching through the window for my hand. "We already told Jasper and Edward, but if you need anything, please call. And we're bringing dinner over tonight, so do not let Edward cook."

Jasper laughed as he climbed into the truck. "They threatened us good, Bella."

"Why am I not surprised," I muttered before looking back at Rose. "That's between you and Edward, Rose."

"I think I can take him." She smirked, looking over her shoulder to where he was standing next to the van.

"Oh, I'm sure you can, honey," Garrett laughed, wrapping his arm around my sister and kissing the side of her neck.

"Ew, Gar, stop!" I groused, though I honestly didn't mind it. He loved her, Kate, and Emmett.

"Suck it up, B," he teased. Sighing, he turned serious. "I'm glad you're okay. Just take it easy."

"I am, I promise."

"K, guys, we've gotta get the boys over to the parent's house so we'd better get going," Jasper said, starting the truck.

"Let us know what Esme says," Rose hollered before allowing Garrett to sweep her over to their car.

—EA—

The minute we pulled up in front of Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte's house, the front door was thrown open and the four of them came rushing out to Jasper's truck. I barely had time to stifle my groan before the door was opened and Renee was patting me down, trying to make sure that I really was okay.

"Mom, stop!" I yelled, feeling uncomfortable with her touching me. When she didn't, I shifted my eyes over to Charlie and Peter, begging one of them to get her off of me.

Charlie's eyes flew open and he reached out and grabbed Renee, pulling her back. "Honey, stop. She's okay."

"No, she's not!" Renee cried, melting in his arms. "She could have died, and I never would have gotten to tell her how much I loved her."

"Mom," I whispered, unable to keep my tears from falling. Renee had tried to be strong for me over the last few months, but I'd pushed her away. I told myself it was because she blamed me for being a whore, but that wasn't true. No, Renee blamed herself for not being able to protect me. It was irrational, but it seemed to be a trait that she and I shared. "Mom."

Renee shifted her attention over to me. "I'm sorry. For everything I've ever done to hurt you, I'm sorry."

"I forgave you a long time ago," I mumbled. "I'm sorry for pushing you away after . . ." I shook my head. "I was so angry and scared. Instead of holding onto my family, I pushed you away. Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive," she whimpered. "Now are you sure you're okay after your fall? With you and the baby?"

"I'm still in a lot of pain," I admitted. "The baby seems to be fine, at least according to the ultrasound I had at the hospital."

"Speaking of which, we really need to get to Esme's office before she gets pissed," Jasper said from the driver's seat.

"Okay, we'll just grab the boys." Peter cleared his throat and looked over at me. "Bella, what are we gonna do with you, darlin."

"Love me anyway you can, Peter." I smiled. "That's all I ask."

"We do love you, honey. Now make sure my boy drives safely." He laughed when Jasper scowled and muttered under his breath.

"I will," I giggled.

Once Charlotte and Charlie had the boys out of the van, Jasper and I followed Edward and Alice down to the hospital. Jasper lifted me out of the truck while Edward ran inside to get me a wheelchair. I tried not to scowl when Jasper set me down, but the last place I wanted to be was stuck in a chair again. None of them understood just how humiliating it was, and I didn't know how to tell them.

Esme's office door was wide open and she was standing in front of the window. When Edward knocked on the door, she looked back at us and smiled. For the first time in three months, her shoulders weren't slumped forward and she didn't seem to be struggling to look at me. It was nice, something I'd missed.

"I was starting to get worried," she scolded, shifting her attention from me to Edward. "I said first thing in the morning."

"I know, Mom, but we had to get the kids settled," Edward replied, placing his hand on my shoulder. "They come first, remember?"

"I know," she sighed, before walking over to me. "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap," I admitted. "My hip still hurts, though it's more of a throb than a fiery pain now."

"Well, that's progress, I guess," she said. "Let's get you into an exam room and we'll see where we should go from here."

Jasper pushed my chair down the hallway and into the exam room — the same one I'd been in just a handful of weeks ago when Esme confirmed my pregnancy. At the time, I thought that my life was over. While I was still terrified that Demetri would end up being the biological father of my baby, I knew that Jasper and Edward would love this baby just as they did our other children. He or she would be our saving grace.

Jasper lifted me out of the chair, muttering an apology when I winced. He didn't mean to hurt me, this I knew. Placing me on the table, Jasper brought his hands up to my face and kissed me. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," I echoed back, knowing that he needed to hear it as much as I did. Esme cleared her throat, reminding us that she was in the room. Blushing, I ducked my head down. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she laughed. "I should be used to it. Now, lay back and let me check your hip."

I did as she said. Esme carefully lowered the side of my yoga pants and panties, displaying the black/blue bruise covering my hip and creeping onto my stomach and back. Esme pressed down and I hissed.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"It's fine," I gritted. "Just very sensitive."

"The swelling is down, which is good. I'm afraid the bruising will take a while to go away." Esme sighed and slipped my pants back up. "I'd like for you to keep off your hip for the rest of the week at least." I scowled. "I'm not saying you can't go back to work tomorrow, just not today. But I'd like you to use your wheelchair. Just to give that tendon some time to heal. Please?"

"Fine," I muttered. Shifting my eyes up to hers, I asked, "Is this something that I am going to have to deal with throughout my pregnancy?"

"Most likely," she said. "Even if you hadn't fallen, the stress of the pregnancy would have caused you some discomfort, like with Edison. But with the fall, I'm afraid that we're going to have to be very careful."

Shrugging my shoulders, I frowned. "I figured as much."

"How about we take another look at your baby?" Esme suggested.

"Oh, yes, please!" Alice chirped, grabbing my hand. "Jas and I didn't get to see him or her on Friday. It's not fair."

I rolled my eyes at my beautiful wife. "Tell you what, Ali; next time I fall down the stairs, you can take me to the hospital and see our baby."

"Um, how about we strive for you not to fall down the stairs?" Esme suggested, pulling the ultrasound machine over and taking a seat on her stool.

"Works for me," I agreed.

"No kidding," Edward murmured, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"Agreed," Jasper echoed. "Now, I want to see my son or daughter."

Esme smiled and turned on the machine, asking Jasper to dim the lights. Once again, she lifted my shirt and squirted the gel on my stomach, causing me to yelp from the cold temperature. Jasper, Alice, and Edward laughed, but I ignored them. Yes, I should have known it would be cold, but it always took me by surprise.

Placing the wand on my stomach, Esme began to move it. A delicate smile slipped over her lips as she looked over at us and turned the monitor in our direction. "Take a look."

No matter how many times I saw our baby, I felt myself in complete awe. He or she was moving around, rolling around inside of me. I could make out a few of their features. He or she stretched out his or her arm, almost as if they were reaching out to me.

"Is the baby still okay?" Alice asked and I shifted my attention to Esme.

"Yes, everything looks perfect." She grinned. "Have you decided if you want to know the sex of the baby?"

I looked over at Alice and Jasper, both of whom nodded immediately. Shifting my eyes over to Edward, I waited for him to answer. "Not that it matters, but I'm dying to know if we're having a handsome little boy or a beautiful little girl," he admitted.

Turning back to Esme, I smiled. "Guess we're finding out."

"Thank God because I don't know if I could have handled keeping this a secret," she laughed. "Congratulations. You're having a girl."

"Oh, wow," I cried.

"Yes!" Jasper boasted, causing all of us to look at him. He smirked and looked over at Alice. "Looks like I won the bet."

"Oh, shit, I'd forgotten about that," Alice grumbled.

"Do I want to know about this bet?" Esme asked.

"No," we said together.

"Let's just say that things are gonna be interesting at our house," Edward snickered.

"Ugh," Esme shivered. "A simple no would have sufficed, Edward."

"Sorry, Mom," he laughed, winking at me. Yeah, he wasn't sorry at all. "Can we go home now?"

"Um, yes." Esme looked down at me. "Bed rest for the rest of the day. You can go back to work tomorrow, but only if you promise me that you will stay off your hip. I want you in your chair. I will be telling Carlisle so don't think you can disobey my order."

"Yes, Dr. Cullen," I mumbled. I reached out and grabbed her hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she chimed.

—EA—

Jasper and Alice reluctantly went to work while Edward and I headed home, after picking the boys up from my parents' house first. I knew it was hard for Jasper and Alice to leave us, but I needed them to go to the office and make sure Carlisle was okay. He wouldn't ask for help, he was stubborn and hardheaded just like I was, but with me having to take the day off to rest, I needed them to take care of him.

Once we got back home, the boys were tired and cranky. Edward carried me up to our room and laid me on the bed before he went downstairs to get them some lunch and lay them down for a much needed nap. They needed the comfort of home, they needed Edward.

I lay on my side with the heating pad on my hip. A twenty minutes later, I felt the bed dip as Edward climbed on behind me. Placing his hand on my hip, Edward pressed his body against mine and lowered his lips to the side of my neck. I moaned.

"Are the boys asleep?" I murmured.

"Yep. Barely made it through lunch before they were out." Edward smiled against my skin. "How are you feeling? A lot of pain?"

"No," I lied, pressing myself against him. I could feel his erection through his jeans, and even though my hip did hurt, I wanted him — bad.

"Liar," he laughed, sliding his hand around to my stomach. Slipping his fingers inside my pants and panties, Edward cupped my pussy, moaning. "You're so fucking wet."

"Edward," I groaned, wanting more.

"I don't want to hurt you, but I need to be inside of you." His plea didn't fall upon deaf ears. The yearning he felt for me was the same I had for him.

"Take me, lover," I gasped, grinding myself against his fingers. "Please, take me."

Carefully, Edward rolled me onto my back and began to strip off my clothes, leaving me naked. His eyes raked over my body, causing me to blush. Tearing his clothes off, he shifted me onto my side, moved so that he was behind me, and lifted my good leg, pulling it up and over his hip.

"If it starts to hurt, tell me and I will stop," he murmured.

"I promise," I whispered, feeling the tip of his cock teasing my wet slit. Pressing his hips forward, Edward filled me to the brink. It hurt — I won't lie — but the pleasure at him being inside of me outweighed the discomfort. "Gah, Edward, more!"

"I'll give you more," he growled, causing me to shiver.

Pulling back, he pushed back into me, tightening his hold on me so that he didn't jostle me too much. Over and over and over, Edward thrust into me. The only sound in the room was that of our skin hitting, our heavy breathing, and moans for more. Edward was claiming my body, making me his lover again — reminding me that no matter who hurt me that he, Jasper, and Alice owned my body and soul.

"Edward, I — I'm so close!" I wailed.

"Come for me, baby," he demanded. "Now — come for me now!"

I couldn't have stopped my orgasm from washing over me if I'd tried, not that I wanted to. Arching into him, I cried out as the wave of pleasure filled my body. Edward managed a dozen more thrusts before he stilled his hips and found his own release, dropping my name. Slipping out of me, he rolled onto his back and laughed. I looked back at him, smiling at the joy and contentment on his face.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"I was just thinking about the bet between Jasper and Alice." Lobbing his head in my direction, he lifted an eyebrow. "What do you think he's gonna have her do?"

I smiled. "I don't know, but I sure as hell can't wait to find out."

**Thank you for all the reviews. So, now we know it's a girl, but the question still remains on who the baby's daddy is.**


	49. Chapter 49

In the weeks that followed, my hip slowly got better — very slowly. I spent a week in my wheelchair, dealing with the awkward stares and whispers at the office about what had happened. Most people seemed to be satisfied with the truth — that I'd tumbled down the stairs. Others, however, speculated on a variety of theories, the most popular being that Edward had pushed me down the stairs in a jealous rage over my improper relationship with his father. That was hard. To know that they thought me capable of such a betrayal hurt, but I tried not to dwell on it. These were people who didn't know me — the real me. If they did, they'd know that Edward, Jasper, and Alice were my life, the only reason I could get up every morning.

After I got out of the chair, I had to use my crutches, which weren't any better than the chair, but at least I could pee without needing someone to carry me into the bathroom. With my stomach growing larger with each passing day, my need for the restroom increased dramatically. And with the growth of my stomach, the news of my pregnancy spread throughout the office like wildfire, which just added to the speculation that Carlisle and I had an affair.

Early one Friday morning, I slipped out of my lovers' arms and limped into the bathroom. While my hip didn't hurt anymore, I often had a lot of tightness and a dull ache in the morning. Once I'd peed, I stood up and washed my hands, looking at myself in the mirror. Due to my pregnancy, my face had started to fill back out. For the first time in six months, I looked healthy again. Dropping my hand down to my stomach, I smiled when my daughter pushed against me. I'd just passed the twenty-five week mark and was desperate to meet her. With a C-section scheduled at thirty-eight weeks, I'd already begun counting down.

"Drop that hand any lower and I'm gonna have to fuck you." I laughed and looked over my shoulder at Jasper, who was leaning against the doorframe with a smirk on his lips.

"Promise?" I asked, letting my hand slide lower.

Jasper growled and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him. "What do you think?"

"I think you'd better whip your dick out and fuck me now," I moaned, bringing my hand up and threading my fingers through his hair.

"With pleasure," he groaned.

Releasing my good hip, Jasper pushed my nightgown up and ripped my panties down to my knees. The ferociousness in his movements turned me on. Tugging his pajama pants and boxers down, Jasper lined himself up and pushed himself into me, filling me in one thrust. I cried out, not because he hurt me, but because he felt so damn good inside of me.

"Oh, fuck, how are you always so damn tight." Jasper's grip on my hips tightened as he started pounding into me, holding nothing back.

Unable to get a single word out, I threw my hand up against the mirror and braced myself as Jasper let go and fucked me hard and fast. The coil inside of me was already starting to burn, but I struggled not to let my orgasm wash over me so fast. I wanted to enjoy the feel of my husband inside of me.

Jasper reached up and grabbed my hair, pulling my head up. "Look at us, baby," he moaned. "Watch me fuck you."

"Jas!" I cried. The sight of him slamming himself inside of me from behind was enough to send me spiraling out of control, my body trembled as my climax hit me. My knees buckled, but Jasper slid his arm around my waist, holding me up while he thrust inside of me once, twice, three more times. Stilling his movements, he let his head fall back and he filled me with his release.

"Damn, that's hot." Looking back, Jasper and I found Edward and Alice standing in the doorway watching us. Without a word, they came at us.

Alice grabbed Jasper's shoulders and pushed him against the wall before falling to her knees and sucking his cock into her mouth. Edward dropped to his knees behind me and gently spun me around, lifting my legs over his shoulders, diving into my pussy. Watching them, knowing that they tasted both of us had Jasper and I moaning.

"So fucking good," Edward murmured, sucking my clit in between his teeth. It'd had already been sensitive, but after Jasper fucked me and now with Edward eating my pussy like it was the last time he'd ever get a taste, I was panting through another orgasm. They were trying to kill me with pleasure, I was sure of it.

"Not as good as his cock," Alice moaned, taking Jasper's cock out of her mouth and moving down to suck on his balls.

"Fuck!" Jasper hissed, slamming his hand on the wall. "Ali, I'm gonna fucking come, baby."

Alice quickly took him back into her mouth, sucking him deep into her throat. Jasper let out several curse words as he came down her throat. The minute she released him, Edward had her in his arms and was shoving his tongue into her mouth.

"Oh, God," Alice gasped, tearing her lips from Edward's. "That was fun."

"It was, wasn't it?" Edward smiled and looked up at me. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Huh?" I asked, shaking myself out of my lustful daze. "Sorry, I think you and Jasper fucked me silly."

"That was the plan." Jasper smirked as he helped Alice and Edward to their feet. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he looked over his shoulder at Alice. "Just wait until I collect on the bet."

Alice whimpered, causing us all to laugh. Ten weeks had passed since we found out that we were having a girl and Alice had been on the edge ever since, waiting for Jasper to claim his reward for winning. However, he seemed to enjoy teasing her and hadn't claimed his prize yet.

"Come on, lovers. We'd better shower before we're late," Jasper laughed.

—EA—

Two hours later, I was sitting behind my desk and working on the budget reports for James' new porn store when the sound of Carlisle's laughter trickled through the open door that separated our offices, causing me to look up. He'd been so resistant to the change before I fell down the stairs, but after holding my hand in the emergency room, he agreed to the changes. So, the following week, we sat down with the Volturi brothers and explained to them that we wanted a set of double doors that would connect our offices and asked them to quote us a price. Aro, Caius, and Marcus scoffed and told us that as long as we paid for supplies, they'd do the work for free.

I started to argue with them, but Aro quickly shushed me and said, "Isabella, darling, you've brought us so much happiness over the years. It's our turn to repay the favor."

At the time, I assumed that he was simply referring to the business that my company had done with his, but when I watched them work — not one of their crews, but Aro, Caius, and Marcus themselves — I understood what he meant. The years had turned them into a part of our family, too.

Standing up, I grabbed my crutches and crossed my office and stood in the doorway to Carlisle's office. In the month since the doors had been put in, we'd never once shut them. I guess we never felt the need. Carlisle was leaning forward with his elbow on his desk and his eyes glued to his computer.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

Jumping, Carlisle quickly closed out his email and looked over at me. "Nothing."

"Somehow, I don't believe you," I jibed.

"It's nothing. Just a funny email that William forwarded to me," he muttered, shifting his eyes away from mine and I knew he was lying.

"Oh, yeah? Let me see?" I walked over and stood in front of his desk.

"Can't, got a meeting," he lied, standing up. "Um, actually, I could use your input on my project, so . . ." Carlisle paused and looked over his shoulder at the clock. "If you don't mind, maybe you could sit in or whatever."

"What project?" I asked.

"Huh?" Pursing his lips together, he thought for a minute, just adding to the oddness of his behavior. "oh, well, it's new and different and, well, you should come with me."

"Carlisle, have you been drinking?"

"What?" he exclaimed. "It's nine in the morning."

"So?" I scoffed. "You're acting weird. Have you been drinking?"

"No," he laughed. "I — I just . . ." Trailing off, he shook his head. "Fuck it. Look, I just need you to come with me, okay?"

"Okay," I giggled. "That's all you had to say."

Carlisle muttered something under his breath about being saddled with the hardest job as he led me over to the door to his office. He motioned for me to go first. Upon stepping out into the hallway, I noticed two things. First: the office was eerily quiet for a Friday morning, and secondly: both Alice and Jasper's office doors were wide open.

"Come on," Carlisle groused, leading me down to the conference room. He paused outside of the door and smiled as he looked back at me. "Just remember this wasn't my idea, okay?"

"What wasn't your idea?" I asked, but instead of answering me, Carlisle opened the door.

The room was jammed pack with what looked like every person I'd ever met. Jasper, Alice, and Embry stood next to Jared and Edward, who was holding Edison and Jackson. Rose, Kate, Emmett, and Garrett were on the other side of the room with William, Catherine, and Esme. Mike and Tyler were in the back next to the Volturi Brothers. Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte were standing next to Alice. And in the middle of them all were Seth, Tanya, Ben, and Angela.

"Surprise!" they yelled.

I looked from them over to Carlisle before shaking my head and taking a step backward. I'd made huge strides over the last six months, but there was no way I could handle being inside that room with all of them. I loved each and every one of them, but there was only so much I could handle.

"I'm sorry," I muttered before turning and walking away.

"Bella, wait!" Alice called, but I ignored her. Turning the corner toward the elevator, I slid to a stop when I saw two tables set up on the floor: one with a pile of gifts and the other with a ton of breakfast foods. "Baby, calm down."

"What the hell is this?" I asked, turning around looking at her.

"It's a Bella shower," she replied, waving her hand around at the decorations.

"A Bella shower? Don't you mean baby shower?"

"No, I mean a Bella shower." Sighing, she stepped up to me and placed her hands on my face. "We wanted to do something special — for you. Besides, we already have a everything we're gonna need for her because we saved everything after we had Mack and Whit."

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "You should have told me."

"You would have fought us," she said and I knew she was right. "Look at me." I tilted my head up. "You deserve to be pampered. Let us do this for you. Please?"

"Okay," I whispered. "Just stay close to me."

"Baby, I'm not leaving your side all day," Alice purred before turning around and yelling, "Come on out, guys!"

Slowly, everyone trickled out of the conference room and started milling around me. I could tell they were nervous that I'd lash out at them. Shaking my head, I took a deep breath and walked over to the table of food. "I don't know about y'all, but I'm starving."

"I know I am." Carlisle walked over and stood next to me, grabbing two plates. "Whatcha want, preggo?"

I laughed. "A little of everything, asshole. I am eating for two."

Laughing with me, Carlisle started filling both our plates before leading Alice and I over to one of the desks. Slowly, everyone around us started eating and chatting. Edward and Jasper came over a few minutes later with their own plates and one for Alice, who thanked them with a kiss.

"Are you pissed?" Edward asked, popping a grape into his mouth before offering one to Jackson.

"A little," I admitted. "You know I don't like surprises."

"We know." He smirked. "But we so enjoy surprising you, baby."

I rolled my eyes and scooped up a spoonful of some kind of egg casserole. After we all ate, everyone gathered around me while I opened the gifts they'd brought for me, which I thought was completely ridiculous. Most of them had gotten me bottles of scented body soaps and candles; though Rose, Kate, Emmett, and Garrett presented me with a gift card to mine and Alice's favorite sex toy shop. Edward and Jasper tried to bite back their moans when Alice and I started cackling, causing all of our parents to cringe. Yeah, Alice and I were going to enjoy using it.

After I opened all of the gifts off the table, Edward and Jasper looked over to Alice and nodded. She smiled before standing up and walking down to her office. Before I could question them too much on where she went, Alice was back with a box in her hands. It had been wrapped in a shimmering pink paper and had a white silk ribbon wrapped around it. Sitting back next to me, she slid the package into my hands.

"This is from us," she said, simply.

I shook my head and sighed. "You gave me a party. That's enough."

"Just open it," she giggled, pulling Edison from Jasper's arms and placing him on her lap.

Slowly, I unwrapped the gift and placed the paper and ribbon on the desk next to me before pulling the lid off. Gasping, I brought one hand up to my mouth, while the other one lifted the soft, pink blanket out of the box — the one what almost identical to the one they gave me with Mackenzie. Stitched in one of the corners were the initials: SGC.

"We figured that since Mack and Whit both have pink blankets like this, that the new baby should, too," Edward explained. "I have a feeling she's gonna be a snuggly like her sisters."

I nodded and sniffed back my tears. "She's gonna love this, I just know it."

"Name," Charlie coughed. "We need a name."

I laughed and looked over at my father. "Not gonna tell you, Dad, so ya might as well stop asking."

"Look here, little girl," he grumbled, "I had patience with Mack, Whit, Jack, and Edison, but I need to know my new granddaughters name."

"No," I sang. Everyone but Carlisle scowled. He found it just as amusing as Edward, Jasper, Alice, and I did. "Oh, y'all are a bunch of babies."

"Yeah, yeah; whatever," Charlie muttered.

Jackson and Edison started fussing. Edward sighed and stood up. "That's my cue that it's time to go home. These little boys need a nap." He leaned down and kissed me. "I love you."

"I love you, too, and thank you for this," I whispered.

"You're welcome." Jasper insisted on helping Edward take the boys down to his car.

Charlie, Peter, William, and Carlisle began totting my gifts down to Alice's car, so that when we were ready to go home, Alice and Jasper wouldn't get stuck trying to carry everything. While they did that, Rose, Emmett, Garrett, and Kate began packing up the leftover food. Needing to stretch out a little, I grabbed my crutches and headed down to my office, lying on my couch. A few minutes later, someone knocked on my office door and I looked over to see Ben, Angela, Seth, and Tanya standing there nervously.

"Come on in," I said, waving to the chairs in front of my desks. Ben and Seth sat down with Tanya and Angela on their laps. For a moment, we just looked at each other. "Say something!"

"I'm pissed with you for hurting your hip," Tanya said.

I rolled my eyes. "Not like I did it on purpose or anything."

"I know," she sighed, draping her arm around Ben. He smiled and leaned his head on her shoulder.

"Y'all are disgustingly happy," I groaned. "It's almost like someone knew all along that you were destined to be together, isn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah; just say it," Ben muttered.

"Say what?" I smirked.

"You were right," Angela giggled. "Ben and I wasted a lot of time fighting our feelings for Seth and Tanya."

"No shit," I scoffed. "Are you happy? Is Caleb happy?"

"Yes to both," Angela replied. "It wasn't easy to deal with the looks and whispers, but we were determined to make it work. Caleb is so amazing. He just accepted that Tanya and Seth were a part of our lives now. Maybe he always knew, too."

"Of course he did," I said. "He's a smart kid."

"Are you happy, Bella?" Seth asked. "The last time I was here you weren't doing great."

I took a deep breath. "I'm mostly happy. Some days are easy and others I have to force myself to smile and laugh. Those are the days when I lean a little more on Jasper, Edward, and Alice."

"And we hold her as tight as we can." Shifting my eyes over to the door, I smiled at Alice. She crossed the room and gently sat with my head on her lap. "Don't let her fool you; she's doing fabulous."

"Except for the hip," Tanya chirped.

"I didn't mean to hurt it," I whined.

"I know," she grumbled. "But I put a lot of time into your rehab, Bella, and I don't like seeing relapses like this."

"Tanya, I didn't let some crazy son of a bitch keep me down," I said, seriously. "And I'm certainly not gonna let my fucking hip take me down, either. I'm a survivor for a reason."

She smiled. "Because you want to be one."

—EA—

By the time Edward, Alice, and Jasper came into our bedroom that night, we'd had a full and busy day. I decided to close the office down early and let everyone have the afternoon off. Jasper, Alice, and I came home and spent the day playing with the boys. Once the girls got home from school, we headed out for an early dinner. My hip was starting to ache so I headed upstairs to our bedroom early so that I could place my heating pad on it. Just after ten, Edward, Alice, and Jasper joined me, declaring that all the kids were asleep.

Alice started to pull her pajamas out of the dresser, but Jasper grabbed her arms, pulling her against him. "I believe I have a bet to collect on, baby."

Gasping, Alice said, "What do you want?"

"Oh, what do I want?" Jasper chuckled as he licked the side of her neck, causing Alice to shudder. "I think we'll start with you naked."

"Jas," Alice moaned.

"Now, baby." He nipped at her ear, causing her to squeal and jump away from him.

Bringing her hands up, she began to unbutton her black, silk blouse. Once she did, Alice slipped it over her shoulders and let it flop onto the floor. I bit my lip. She'd worn her black, power bra today, the one that made her tits look amazingly beautiful. Alice reached behind her and lowered the zipper on her skirt, giving her hips a shake and letting it slide down her legs. She reached her bra, but Jasper grabbed her hand.

"I think we'll stay like that for a while," he said, leading her over to the bed, where Edward and I were laying and watching. It wasn't until Jasper's eyes shifted to me and he smirked that I realized I'd plunged my hand into my panties and was touching myself. "Oh, no, beautiful, I think we can find a better way for you to get off."

Jasper swept Alice up and laid her on the bed, before coming over to me. Slowly, he stripped my clothes off, leaving me completely naked. Alice and Edward moaned when Jasper dropped his hand down between my legs and plunged two fingers inside of me. Laughing, he pulled them out and offered them to Edward, who attacked his hand with gusto.

"Jas," Alice whined, "I want some!"

"Oh, baby, you're gonna get some," he promised before walking over to the closet and pulling out a handful of ties. "On your back, legs spread apart."

Alice quickly moved into position, lying between me and Edward. Her nipples were hard and perky, but before I could latch onto one of her peaks, Jasper had me off the bed. He used one tie to bind he hands above her head and two more to tie her feet to the footboard. Edward was standing on the other side of the bed, stripping off his clothes like a man possessed.

"Beautiful, I think Ali wants to taste your sweet pussy." Jasper nodded his head in Alice's direction. I smiled as I climbed onto the bed and straddled her face, lowering my pussy down onto her oh-so-eager lips. "Fuck me, that's hot."

"Yeah, it is, babe," Edward moaned. I grabbed the top of the headboard as I ground myself on Alice's tongue, needing the release that had been building since my fingers first found my clit. Alice cried out and I looked over my shoulder. Jasper and Edward were kneeling next to her. Jasper had his fingers inside her pussy while Edward was stretching her other hole. While they touched her, they were kissing and stroking each other's cocks.

The sight of them touching each other and Alice sent me over the edge. I fell onto the bed next to her. Panting, I smiled when I saw Alice's mouth covered with my juices. Jasper pulled his lips away from Edward's and grabbed the back of his head, shoving him down to Alice's mouth. The moan that came from Edward had me shivering.

Edward leaned back up as his head fell back and he groaned, spraying his release onto Alice's stomach.

"I want to taste him, too," Alice begged, writhing around on the bed. "Please, let me taste him, too!"

"Alice, don't be greedy," Jasper snickered. "I think Bella wants it, don't you, beautiful?"

"Yes," I breathed, before moving over and lapping up every drop off her stomach. Edward moved so that he was behind me, gripped his hips and shoved himself inside of me. The power of the thrust had me lurching forward. Jasper slipped his cock into my mouth, grabbing the back of my head and began meeting Edward's thrusts.

It didn't take long for me to reach another orgasm; the feeling of Jasper in my mouth while Edward fucked me had me spiraling over the edge. After a couple dozen more thrusts, Jasper released my head and said, "Come in Alice's mouth, Edward."

They both moved up and began stroking their cocks. A couple of minutes later, they both threw their heads back and came, filling Alice's mouth with as much as she could swallow. Falling onto the bed next to her, Edward tried to catch his breath, while Jasper released Alice's hands and feet.

"Y'all are not done," she demanded. "I didn't get to come yet!"

"Well, baby, I guess you'd better hope that you win the next bet then." Jasper smirked.

Alice gasped while Edward, Jasper and I laughed. My poor, beautiful girl would get her revenge on us for leaving her on the edge, but what an adventure that would be.

**Thank you for all the reviews. So, poor Alice didn't get her fun. *sighs* I'm thinking that could be one hell of an outtake ;)**


	50. Chapter 50

Sighing, I shifted in my chair and tried to find a position that didn't cause my back and hip to ache. Of course it didn't help, nothing did. At thirty-six weeks, I doubted that anything would help me feel more comfortable. Two more weeks, that's all I had to wait before my daughter would be here and I wouldn't be so uncomfortable anymore.

"You okay?" Looking over, I found Carlisle standing in the doorway between our offices.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess. It would help if I could go more than five minutes without having to pee, or sit without it feeling like this little lady is trying to kick her way out of my uterus."

"Maybe you should go home," he suggested. I rolled my eyes. "Oh, there's the Bella I know and love! Snarky as ever, I see."

"Ha-ha," I muttered, dryly. Letting my head lob backward against my headrest, I sighed. "Damn it, need to pee again!"

Carlisle tried to hide his laughter as he came over and helped me to my feet, grabbing my crutches for me. The bigger I got — and I was huge — the more my hip ached, causing me to need my crutches more and more. "Need help down the hall?"

"No, I'm not a goddamn child, Carlisle," I snarled. Though, I'd barely taken one step when the bottom of my crutch caught on the leg of my desk and I started to fall. Carlisle reached out and grabbed my arms, keeping me steady. "Son of a bitch!"

"Just let me help you," Carlisle insisted. "Damn, Bella, there's no reason to be so fucking stubborn about it."

"Fine," I snapped.

Clamping his lips together, Carlisle helped me out of my office and down the hall to the ladies room. At least he had the decency to wait outside for me. A few minutes later, I had peed, washed my hands, and opened the door. He helped me back down to my office, but instead of letting me go back to my desk, he nearly pushed me into the couch, sliding under my legs so that they rested on his lap.

"Are you going to tell me why you're in such a bad mood?" he asked.

Sighing, I rolled onto my side and placed my hand on my stomach. "I had a bad night."

"Nightmare?" he whispered. I nodded, trying very hard not to think about it. "What to talk about it?"

"Not really," I whimpered. Carlisle sighed and slipped off my shoes — a pair of black flip flops. They were the only ones I could manage to get on my fat feet anymore. Closing my eyes, I heard myself telling him about my nightmare anyway. "We were back in that basement, and Demetri was trying to take the baby from me. She had you in another room, but I could hear you screaming for me. He had me tied down to the bed this time and he pulled out this knife and . . ." I trailed off, swallowing back the bile. "I don't know; I feel so antsy today. Like something is gonna happen, but I just don't know what it is."

"Did you tell them?" he asked. I didn't have to ask who he was talking about. Every time I had a bad day, he asked me if I told Edward, Jasper, and Alice. It was just one way that we kept each other accountable. A lack of communication had almost cost us our lovers once, we'd be damned if we allowed it to happen a second time.

"Yeah," I murmured. "They woke up while I was screaming for help. Jasper held me while I cried; Edward and Alice assured me that there wasn't any way that he could hurt me. I want to believe them, but I don't know. By then I was awake and I had to pee again. Then I couldn't get comfortable. So I'm fucking exhausted, yet I can't get comfortable at all."

"I'll kill that bastard again if he comes near you," Carlisle whispered under his breath.

Logically, we both knew that there wasn't any way for Demetri to come after us or the baby. He was dead, we knew this, but the nightmare had been so real — too real. I could feel his breath on me, smell the sweat glistening on his skin. I shuddered.

"So, last night William and I were watching a movie," Carlisle started in an effort to change the subject. He knew just as I did just how real our demons were and sometimes it was better not to dwell on them. "And we saw this commercial for one of those beach resorts. All I could think about was your wedding. Remember how beautiful it was there?"

I smiled. "Yeah, it was incredible."

"Someday, I want to go back there," Carlisle mused. "Feel the sand between my toes, the breeze off the ocean."

"Fuck on the beach," I snickered.

"That, too," Carlisle laughed.

I looked over at him. "You, William, Esme, and Catherine are doing good, right? You've worked past the worst of it?"

"Most of the time we're good. Like you, I have bad days and nightmares, but I'm learning to talk to them more." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm trying and they seem to understand that."

"That's good, I'm glad." Groaning, I pulled my feet off of his lap and sat up. "I need to pee again."

"You need to tell that daughter of yours to stop tap-dancing on your bladder," Carlisle teased and stood up. He offered me his hand. "Come on, preggo; let's get you to the restroom."

—EA—

Over the next couple of hours, Carlisle helped me to the ladies room no less than a dozen times. He never complained, instead he left that for me to do. He was meeting Esme, William, and Catherine for lunch so he kissed the top of my head and left me in my office. I tried to work, but I was too uncomfortable. Eventually, I ended back on the couch, trying to get the dull ache in my back to go away. It never did.

Just before two in the afternoon, someone knocked on my office door. For a moment, I contemplated trying to get up and opening it myself, but the energy required for that to happen just wasn't worth it. So instead, I yelled, "Come in!"

The door swung open and Jasper, Embry, James, and Phil stepped into my office. Jasper looked for me at my desk before turning to me on the couch. He frowned and rushed over to me. "Baby, are you okay?"

"No, I'm fat," I snarked, causing his eyes to widen. "There's something wrong with my chair. It's broken."

"Um, okay, I'll get you a new one," Jasper said, brushing my hair out of my face. "Did you forget about our meeting with James and Phil?"

"No," I lied. I totally had. "Well, sit down already. Shit, I don't have all day."

Embry, James, and Phil slowly crossed the room. James and Phil took the two chairs in front of my desk, turning them around to face me, while Embry pulled my desk chair around to join us. He made a show of sitting down cautiously. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to flip him off. He could be such a smartass prick sometimes. Jasper moved to the end of the couch and lifted my feet, placing them in his lap. He started massaging my feet, causing me to close my eyes and sigh.

"Um, should we come back later?" James laughed.

Though, I didn't find it particularly funny. Snapping my eyes open, I glared at him. "Shut the fuck up, you stupid mother fucker!"

"Baby, calm down," Jasper said, placing his hand on my back.

"Gees, Bella, I was just joking," James grumbled.

"Yeah, well, whatever," I muttered. "I feel like ass and the last thing I need is to deal with your bullshit today."

"Okay, I'm sorry." James put his hands up. "Seriously, we can come back tomorrow if that would be better."

I sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just having a bad day and every part of my body hurts. Let's just get this done with. No point in dragging this thing out for another day."

"Okay, if you're sure," James murmured. Phil reached over and took hold of his hand and I wanted to throw up. Don't get me wrong, I was glad that James had found Phil and was happy with his new gay lifestyle, but I didn't need to see them being all lovey to each other when I was the size of a house and hadn't had sex since last night.

Though, it had been good sex. Alice started it, as she usually does, by climbing onto the bed and shoving her face in my pussy. Who was I to deny my girl what she wanted the most? When Jasper and Edward came in, they quickly stripped off their clothes and joined us. Jasper feasted on Alice's pussy while Edward sucked his cock. I, in return, attacked Edward's dick like it was the last one I'd ever taste. Just when I was about to come, Edward pulled out of my mouth and demanded that he fuck me. Again, who was I to deny him?

So I moved so that I was on my hands and knees, knowing with my large belly that it was the only position that didn't have me hurting. Edward grabbed my hips and sheathed himself inside of me. I cried out, the feeling of him being so . . . raw was amazing. Alice pushed Jasper on his back and rode him until he filled her with his delicious cum. It was the most amazing night, only to end when I woke up at four in the morning from a nightmare.

Sighing, I looked over at Jasper and said, "Better start before I have to pee again."

Jasper smiled. "As of about two hours ago, the Volturi Brothers have broken ground on the new store. They're estimating about twelve-fifteen weeks to complete it. Alice is working on the interior design, and as we speak, is down at warehouse city, placing her order for shelving directly in order to make sure it's right and on time."

"How are we on budget?" I asked, wincing when I moved. The dull ache in my back and hip had started radiating around to my stomach.

"Looking to be under budget for now," Embry stated, watching me closely. "This is good, because if we face any unforeseen expenses we're covered. Though, all of our investors have agreed to help cover any extra costs that might come up over the next few months."

Nodding, I took a deep breath and turned from my side onto my back. "That's good. Damn it to hell, this couch sucks cock!"

"Bella," Jasper laughed. "Honey, are you sure you're okay?"

"No," I whimpered. "I can't get comfortable, Jas. Will you help me up, please?"

"Of course," he scoffed. Placing my feet on the floor, Jasper stood up and leaned down so that he could wrap his arm around my back. Carefully, he pulled me to my feet. Two things happened in that moment: first, a sharp pain ripped through my abdomen causing me to scream, and secondly, my pants suddenly became very wet when a gush of fluid poured down my legs.

"Oh, fuck," I cried, clutching at my stomach. "Shit, this is not happening!"

"Bella, what the hell?" Jasper asked, tightening his hold around me.

I looked up at him with fear in my eyes. "Either I just pissed myself, therefore embarrassing myself completely, or my water broke, therefore embarrassing myself completely."

Jasper started to smile, but then his eyes flew open when he realized what I said. "No, you're only at thirty-six weeks. You're having a C-section in two weeks. You're water can't have broken."

"Sorry, lover, but it would appear that our little princess has other ideas," I cried. "I think I'm in labor."

"Yeah, we're definitely doing this on another day," James muttered, standing up and pushing his chair back.

"Gee, ya think," I snarled. "Get the fuck out!"

"Bella, calm down," Jasper said, sweeping me off of my feet. He turned to Embry. "Call . . . everyone."

"Might start with Esme and work your way through the list," I said, shakily.

"Yeah, I'm on it," Embry muttered, pulling out his cell phone.

"Can we help at all?" Phil asked.

I looked over at him. "Call the school and make sure my girls are ready to leave the minute Rose gets there to pick them up. Please, just take care of my daughters until she gets there."

"On it." Phil ushered James out of my office while digging his phone out of his pocket.

"What do you mean you're stuck in traffic?" I looked over at Embry, who was gripping his phone so tightly, I was afraid he'd crush it. Meeting my eyes, he gulped. "Esme's stuck in standstill traffic on the 405."

"How long is she gonna be?" Jasper asked, voicing the question I couldn't seem to get out.

"She doesn't know," Embry replied. "Bella, she said that Dr. Morgan is covering for her and that . . ." Embry trailed off the minute I shook my head.

"No," I whimpered. "No, no, no, no. Sorry, no. I'll wait for her. The baby and I will wait for Esme."

"Bella, she might be hours," Jasper whispered. "You know how bad the traffic gets on the 405."

"No," I cried, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I can't, Jas, I just can't. Please!"

"Bella, she wants to talk to you." Embry thrust his phone up against my ear.

"Esme?" I sobbed.

"Sweetheart, I need you to calm down," she said, calmly. "Dr. Morgan won't hurt you. I promise."

"No, I need you," I cried. "Please, I need you!"

"Listen to me, sweetheart, I am going to do everything I can to get to the hospital in time, but I need you to calm down and think about what is best for your daughter, okay? She's needs you."

"Esme, don't let them touch me," I whispered. "Please, don't let them touch me."

"Bella, let me talk to Embry," she demanded. I turned away from the phone.

Embry brought his phone up to his ear, but I couldn't hear what Esme was telling him. He just kept nodding and every once in a while he'd say, "Okay" and "Yes, ma'am." Finally, he snapped his phone shut and looked at Jasper. "Take her straight to the hospital."

"Embry," I whimpered.

"She'll get there," he promised. "Somehow, Esme will get there."

As Jasper carried me out of my office and over to the elevator, I closed my eyes and prayed that he was right.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Only a few more chapters left.**


	51. Chapter 51

It wasn't until we made it to the garage that we remember that we'd ridden with Alice to work and since she'd headed to warehouse city, we didn't have a way to get to the hospital. Getting a cab would be nearly impossible, especially with the late afternoon traffic.

Jasper snarled, "Fuck, what are we gonna do now?"

"What the fuck do you think you're gonna do?" Embry yelled at him and led Jasper over to his car. "Get her in here. We gotta get her to the hospital."

"Just be careful. I've seen you drive," Jasper groused, placing me in the backseat and climbing in after me. He pulled me down so that I was lying on his lap, resting one hand on my stomach while he ran his fingers through my hair. "Hold tight, beautiful, we're gonna get you there."

"Hurry, please," I cried, feeling another contraction rip through me.

Embry pulled out of his parking space and out of the garage, weaving his way in and out of traffic. I was glad I couldn't see how fast he was driving. Just the thought had me trembling, and I cradled my stomach protectively.

"It's okay, baby," Jasper soothed, smiling down at me. "We get to meet our daughter today."

"I know," I replied, weakly. "Do you think she's okay? It's two weeks sooner than we planned. Shit, Jasper, we don't even have a bag packed or anything!"

"We'll worry about that after she's born," he assured me. "And she's fine. She's a fighter, just like you."

I brought my hand up to his cheek. "I love you. So much."

"I love you, too. Just hang in there, okay?" he asked.

"I'm trying," I laughed, nervously.

'"Oh, for the love of fuck!" Embry exclaimed, throwing one hand up before he pulled over onto the side of the road.

"What the hell, man?" Jasper demanded. "We're in a hurry!"

"I'm being stopped by a damn motorcycle cop," Embry muttered, reaching over into his glove box for his insurance card. "Like we have time for this."

The police officer peered in to the back window of Embry's car on his way to the driver's window, his eyes widening when he saw me lying across the back seat. Embry rolled down his window. "I'm sorry, sir, but my friend is in labor and —"

"Don't worry about it; I'll put a call out for them to let you through. Just drive safely," the officer said, waving Embry off.

"Oh, thank you," Embry mumbled, before rolling his window up. "That went better than I expected."

"Great. Now, can you please go?" I inhaled a sharp breath. "Dude, I'm fucking hurting like a son of a bitch."

"Just keep breathing, Bella. I got this," Embry muttered, before pulling back into traffic.

Half an hour later and a lot of screaming from me and Jasper, Embry pulled up in front of the hospital. I hoped to see Esme waiting for me, but she wasn't. Instead, I found Edward, Emmett, and Garrett standing with a tall, thin woman with dark hair and eyes. Jasper climbed out of the car and carefully lifted me out.

"Where is Esme?" I growled, trying to stop from screaming as another contraction wrapped around me.

"She's on her way, baby, but listen this is Dr. Carmen Morgan. Esme swore to me that she'd be gentle with you," Edward explained.

"No, no, no!" I screamed, clenching my hand into a tight fist. "I don't want her, I want Esme. Get me Esme!"

"Baby, she's coming," Edward pleaded. "Please, just let us take you inside, okay? Trust us."

"Edward," I stammered. "I — I . . ."

Edward brought his hands up to the side of my face. "Jas and I are not leaving you alone for even one second. She will not hurt you, but we need to get you into your room and make sure that our daughter is okay."

"You're not gonna leave me?" I whispered.

"No," he and Jasper said together.

"Promise?" I whimpered.

"We promise, beautiful," Jasper whispered.

Nodding, I agreed. Jasper placed me in the wheelchair Garrett was holding for me and pushed me in after Carmen, Embry, Emmett, and Garrett. Edward held my hand while we rode the elevator up to the maternity floor. Carmen waited outside in the hallway with Emmett, Garrett, and Embry while Edward and Jasper helped me change into a hospital gown. Once I was in my bed with a blanket over my legs, Edward went over to the door and told them they could come in.

Carmen approached my bed cautiously. "Bella, it's a pleasure to meet you. Esme has told me so many wonderful things about you and your family."

"Yeah, can't say the same about you," I replied, trying to keep my breathing even.

"I'm not surprised," she laughed. "Now, if it's okay with you, I'd like for Edward or Jasper to hook up a fetal monitor so we can track your little one's heartbeat."

"Edward or Jasper?" I mumbled.

"Yes, Esme told me that you're a little hesitant when it comes to people touching you, but that as long as I supervised, one of them could handle your care until she gets here."

"Okay." I nodded. "Fuck," I cried as another contraction hit me. In a heartbeat, Edward and Jasper had my hands wrapped up in theirs. "It hurts!"

"Breathe, baby," Edward murmured, pressing my hand against his chest. "Come on, in and out."

Once the contraction was over, Edward followed Carmen's instructions and placed a fetal monitor around my stomach so that we could watch the baby's heartbeat and another one so that Carmen could monitor my contractions. He'd just put the second band around my stomach when the door to my room opened and Alice rushed in.

"Bella!" she cried, nearly throwing herself on me. She cupped my face and began peppering every inch of skin she should with kisses. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Just you," I whimpered, rolling onto my side. "Gah, it hurts so bad."

"I know, baby," she soothed. Alice looked over her shoulder at Carmen. "Who are you?"

"I'm Dr. Carmen Morgan," she replied. "I'm filling in for Esme."

"Um, okay," Alice said, looking over at Edward and Jasper.

"She's stuck in traffic, but she trying to get here," Edward explained.

Alice nodded and turned back to me, placing a smile on her lips. "Have I told you that you look beautiful?"

"I don't," I grumbled. "I'm sweaty and gross."

"No, you're amazing and beautiful," Alice disagreed with me. "We're meeting our daughter today."

"I know," I whimpered. "I just need Esme to get here."

—EA—

Hours passed and still Esme didn't show up. Charlie, Renee, Peter, Charlotte came in with the boys in their arms, but when another contraction hit me and I screamed a series of four letter words, they quickly hightailed it out of the room, taking my sons with them. Rose and Kate showed with Jared shortly after but only popped into my room long enough to tell me that they had the girls and everything was fine. My sister would never truly know how thankful I was that she took my girls into her arms like she did. From my spot in my bed, I noticed that Garrett, Emmett, and Embry never moved from in front of my door. In a small way, they were protecting me, keeping me safe while I went through labor.

Carmen taught Alice how to check how far I was dilated. The first time she checked, I was three centimeters and the last time, I'd moved onto six centimeters. I hadn't been prepared to labor with my daughter. I'd had planned C-sections with both Mackenzie and Edison because of my hip. While we'd planned to do another C-section this time around, I couldn't allow it to happen until Esme was here. She'd promised to take care of me and I needed her. It was irrational — this I knew — but it's what I needed.

"Where is she?" I wailed, rolling onto my side and bringing my hand up to my mouth.

Edward, Jasper, and Alice had convinced me to allow Carmen close enough to me to put in an IV, but I'd shook so much it took Edward and Jasper holding my arm down before she could get the needle in. Before Alice could respond, the door to my room was thrown open and I looked over and found Esme and Carlisle rushing in.

"Thank God," I cried, reaching for them both. Esme took hold of one hand while Carlisle grabbed my other.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Esme fretted. "Traffic was such a bitch."

"So I've heard," I groused, squeezing their hands as another contraction hit. "Holy fuck!"

"How far apart are they?" Esme asked Carmen.

"About two minutes. Last we checked, she was six centimeters dilated and nearly completely effaced," Carmen explained. "She's tough a one, that's for sure."

"You have no idea," Esme commented. "Thank you for taking care of her for me."

"You're welcome. I'll just get out of your way." Carmen left us alone.

"I'm gonna check you real quick and then I'll see about getting us an OR." Esme smiled. "You're doing amazing."

"I'm trying," I replied, weakly. "I'm really trying."

I rolled onto my back so that Esme could check me. Carlisle kept my hand in his while Alice moved around to where Edward and Jasper were standing. Once Esme had washed her hands and pulled on a pair of gloves, she pulled up the bottom of my blanket and slipped her fingers inside of me. I tried to hide my wince, I really did, but I knew when Carlisle brought my hand up to his lips I knew that I had failed.

"Well, sweetheart, it doesn't look like we're gonna make it to the OR," Esme said, looking up at me. "You're daughter's head is starting to crown."

"It's too dangerous," I cried. "What about my hip?"

"Sweetheart, we don't have a choice. I need you to push on the next contraction," Esme ordered, hitting the call button for the nurses' station.

"Yes?" called one of the nurses.

"I need some help in here. Mrs. Cullen is ready to push," Esme stated.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen," the nurse said. A moment later, the door to my room was thrown open as two nurses came in; pulling a bassinet and cart loaded down with everything one would need for a delivery.

I shook my head. "Esme, take me to the OR. I can't do this. I can't push her out, it's too dangerous."

"Isabella," Esme snapped, shifting her eyes to mine. "You can do anything. Fight through the fear, fight for your daughter."

"Esme," I cried.

"Fight for her," she said again.

"O — okay," I stammered. Alice climbed up behind me so that she could support my body, while Edward and Jasper moved to either side of my bed. Carlisle released my hand and I looked over at him. "Don't leave."

"I'm not. Just letting them help you now," Carlisle said, smiling. "It's their turn to help."

Before I could reply, another contraction stretched across my abdomen. My back arched off the bed and I screamed as I grabbed Edward and Jasper's hands. They each gripped one of my legs and pulled them back, opening me up to Esme. Alice had her arms wrapped around me as she counted to ten.

Once she got there, I took a deep breath, and pushed again and again and again. On the fourth contraction, I gave birth to my daughter. She came out screaming, her shrill cry filling the air. Falling back against Alice, I cried. Esme placed her on my chest and I brought my arms up to hold her. She was beautiful, covered in goo, but so incredibly beautiful.

"Sweetheart, they need to take her down to the nursery and get her checked over now," Esme murmured.

I nodded, looking at Edward and then Jasper. "Don't let her out of your sight."

"We won't," Edward said.

"We promise." Jasper leaned in and kissed me. "We love you, beautiful."

"I love you too." They followed the nurse out of my room and Alice moved from behind me. Esme got me cleaned up before she went down to check on the baby, too.

Alice brought her hand up to my face, brushing the sweaty mess out of my face. "You are so amazing, Bella."

"Only because you three love me," I cried. "I couldn't have gotten through all of this without you, Alice. I hope you know how much I love you."

"We do, honey," she giggled. Alice looked over her shoulder at Carlisle, who was standing nervously next to the door. "I'm gonna go let everyone know that you and the baby are okay."

"Thank you," I whispered, knowing that she was giving me and Carlisle a chance to talk before everyone bombarded into my room. Alice stopped in front of him and wrapped her arms around him before she left. Carlisle looked over at me with wide eyes. I reached my hand out to him, beckoning him to come closer. He immediately grabbed my hand, pulling it up to his chest. "Bet you never planned on being in here for that, did you?"

"No," he laughed.

"We went through Hell together, Carlisle," I said, softly.

'"Yeah, we did." He sighed and pulled a chair over, sitting down.

"But we're gonna be okay," I added. "After we came home, I didn't think I'd ever feel so . . ."

"Content," he said, smiling. "Not perfect, but content."

"Yeah." I nodded. "You saved my life, our lives. I never thanked you."

"You don't have to," he muttered.

"No, I do," I cried. "Because if you hadn't killed Demetri, and kept me safe when we got home, I might have been the one sitting in the corner of my office with a gun pressed to my forehead."

"God, Bella," he murmured, shaking his head. "Don't you get it? You gave me a reason to live, to try to get my life back. You told me to not to let Esme, William, and Catherine go. I owe everything I have to you!"

"I love you, Carlisle," I sobbed. "Thank you for being here."

"I love you, too, honey," he wept.

The door to my room opened and we looked back to see Esme leading Alice, Edward, and Jasper into my room. Jasper had our newest daughter snuggled up in his arms and a smile on his face. He came over to me and placed her in my arms. She was so beautiful. What little hair she did have was light, but I couldn't tell if it would be blond like Mackenzie's or auburn like Whitley's.

"Is she okay?" I asked, looking up at Esme.

"She's perfect." Esme smiled. "Just over six pounds and doing beautifully. Now, everyone is waiting outside to meet her. Are you ready?"

I looked at Edward, Jasper, and Alice, all of whom nodded. "Yes," I replied.

She went over to the door and told them to come in. Mackenzie and Whitley ran up to the side of my bed, pressing up on their tippy toes so they could see their new sister. Edward and Jasper laughed before they picked them up and set them on the edge of my bed. Renee and Charlie passed Edison and Jackson over to Jasper and Alice.

"Girls, I'd like you to meet your new sister," I said, smiling through tears, "Savannah Grace."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Two more chapters to go!**


	52. Chapter 52

Soft whimpers trickled from the bassinet next to my bed, but before I could even think about getting up to tend to my daughter, Edward, Jasper, and Alice were on their feet and trying to get to her. I lay back on my bed and watched as they argued over whose turn it was to hold Savannah.

"No, you got to hold her last time," Jasper whined, stomping his foot like a three year old who'd just been told no.

"Um, no, Edward had her," Alice muttered. "And you had her before that. It's my turn."

"Pretty sure it's my turn," I snickered, causing them to look back at me. "May I hold Savannah, please?"

"Of course." Edward smiled as he lifted the whimpering bundle up and carried her over to me, gently placing her in my arms. In the forty-eight house since she'd been born, she hadn't really cry. Mostly she just whimpered, almost like she was trying to strong. "Pretty sure she needed her mommy anyway."

I grinned and looked down at her. Savannah opened her eyes, but I couldn't tell if they were a dark green, blue, or even brown like mine. She yawned, her mouth turning into a perfect little 'O' as she wiggled in my embrace.

"She's so beautiful," I whispered, stroking her cheek with my finger. Savannah smacked her little lips together a couple of times. With tears in my eyes, I looked up at Edward, Jasper, and Alice, all of whom had settled on the side of my bed. "We're so lucky. We have five amazing children."

"Yeah, we are," Edward agreed.

"She looks like Whitley, I think," Jasper commented, pressing his lips against Edward's shoulder. "Except her eyes. She has your eyes, Bella."

"You think so?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah," Alice giggled.

"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders, wincing from the soreness in my body.

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked. "That looked like it hurt."

"I'm very sore," I whined. "Like I've been run over by a bus a few thousand times."

"Right?" Alice laughed, and I thought back to when Whitley and Jackson were born. Alice had always compared it to feeling like a bus had slammed into her, but I'd never really understood until now. Of course, I hadn't planned on having Savannah like this, either. No, she was supposed to come into this world like Mackenzie and Edison did, but she had other plans.

"She was worth it, though." And I knew I wasn't just talking about the pain that came with giving birth to her. I'd gone through Hell in an effort to get my life back. There were so many times when I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to smile without it feeling forced or laugh, love, hold my children in my arms and mean it when I told them that I was okay. But I'd made it — somehow, I'd survived.

"Knock, knock." I smiled and looked over to see Esme, Carlisle, William, and Catherine standing in the doorway to my hospital room. The four of them looked happier than I'd ever seen them. Carlisle was standing behind Esme, and in front of William, who had his hands on Carlisle's waist. Catherine was standing in front of Esme. Like my lovers had done with me, they'd had to fight tooth and nail for Carlisle, but with time, they'd proven to him that they still loved and wanted him.

"Can we come in?" Esme asked.

"Sure," I said, waving them forward. In a heartbeat, Carlisle was at my side, one arm resting on top of my pillow and the other hand moving up and under Savannah.

"How's she doing?" he asked.

"She's perfect," I whispered, leaning my head against his chest. "How are you? Did you sleep last night?"

"Best I have in a long time," he murmured. "Felt safe."

"Good," I whispered, shifting Savannah over into his arm. "Here, she needs some snuggle time with her Papa."

"Oh, okay," he said, taking her. Cradling his granddaughter against his chest, Carlisle took a couple steps back and smiled. "Hey, doodlebug, I'm your Papa. I've had kind of a tough year, but I think with you here, that's everything is gonna get better. Now, I'm gonna be the best Papa you have. We're gonna get ice cream and go to the beach. Whenever you need me, I'm gonna be there for you — just like I am with your mommies, daddies, sisters, and brothers."

As Carlisle whispered his promise to Savannah, I rolled onto my side and tried to hide my tears. After months of trying, Carlisle had taken control of his life. No longer could he be called a victim. Just like me, Carlisle was now a survivor.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Esme asked, sitting on the side of my bed and placing her hand on my arm.

Sniffing back my tears, I smiled. "I hurt like a son of a bitch, but it's nothing different. I'm very sore. My hip aches a lot. Are you sure I didn't do any more damage?"

"The x-rays and MRI both say that everything looks okay. When you were pushing, you stretched those muscles and tendons out, but we don't have any tears or breaks. I think it's just gonna take a while for it to heal," Esme explained. "I'd like for you to use your crutches as much as possible, at least for the next couple of week."

"I can do that," I murmured. She cocked an eyebrow when I didn't argue with her. "Yeah, I know; I'm usually such a stubborn bitch."

"Yeah, you are, but being stubborn got your through a lot," she giggled. "Now, I have the DNA results for Savannah."

And just like that the peaceful, carefree moment vanished. I pushed her hand off of me and reached out for Savannah. Carlisle immediately had her in my arms. Edward, Jasper, and Alice swarmed around me, trying to be as close as they could. Stumbling away from my bed, Carlisle brought his hands up to his face. Catherine and William were at his side in a heartbeat, trying to keep him from falling apart.

If Demetri was the biological father of Savannah, he'd blame himself, even if it wasn't logical to do so. It would be one more way that he'd failed me and every bit of progress he'd made over the last nine months would be gone. Closing my eyes in an effort to stop my tears from falling, I took a deep breath.

"I — is h — he the father?" I whispered, feeling my heart race and a panic beginning to set in.

"No," Esme replied and I snapped my eyes open. "Demetri Romanov is not Savannah's biological father."

"Oh, thank God," I cried, leaning into Edward's arms. "I'd love her more than life regardless, but I didn't want that son of a bitch to be connected to her like that. She's too pure and innocent to be linked to that monster."

"We know, baby," Edward whispered, pressing his lips against the top of my head while I cried. "And he's not. This angel — our saving grace — is one-hundred percent ours."

"All ours," Jasper echoed, placing his hand on the back of her head Savannah yawned and leaned into his touch.

"Who knows? Maybe I'm her father," Alice giggled, trying to lighten the mood. It worked. I laughed and looked over at my gorgeous wife. "I needed to hear you laugh."

"I love you," I whispered.

"We love you, too," she murmured, before looking back at Esme. "Now, tell her that I'm Savannah's father."

"Sorry, Alice, but I can't do that," Esme snickered, looking between the four of us. Her eyes landed on Edward. "Edward is her biological father."

I smiled and grabbed his hand, while Jasper leaned down and kissed me. "Guess that means Ali and I will have to give it one more go, doesn't it?"

"What?" Alice gasped and we all looked at him. "My baby making days are over, Jas."

"Oh, come on, honey; don't you want to even up the numbers. Give Savannah a sister to play with?" Jasper smirked.

"Um, no," she laughed, shaking her head. "Besides, she belongs to all of us."

"That she does," Jasper agreed, looking down at our daughter. "Our beautiful Savannah Grace."

—EA—

Later that afternoon, I climbed out of my hospital bed and sat down in the wheelchair that Edward was holding still for me. I tried to hide the wince, but failed miserably. The soreness I could handle, but the pain and swelling in my hip was much worse after taking a shower and walking around for a few minutes. But Esme had insisted that if I wanted to go home, I had to be able to walk to the end of the hallway and back. I did it — it hurt like a bitch, but I did it.

Alice came over and placed Savannah in my arms. "Let's go home."

"I'm ready," I whispered.

With their arms loaded down with flowers, balloons, and teddy bears from our family and friends, Jasper, Alice, Esme, Catherine, William, and Carlisle led the way down to the elevator. Edward was pushing my wheelchair, which pissed off the nurse who'd come in to help, but I was glad. I may have made great progress lately, but I wasn't ready for anyone else to touch me.

Carlisle waited with me and Savannah while the others went out to load up everything in the van and pull it around to the front. I loved that they finally understood why he and I needed each other so much. In different ways, we'd saved each other's lives. Carlisle wasn't only one of my father-in-laws; he was also one of my best friends.

After a few minutes, Edward, Jasper, and Alice came back in to the hospital. Carlisle wheeled us out to the van and held the chair still while I stood up and limped my way over to the van. Being careful, I strapped Savannah into her carseat, tucking her pink blanket around her, and climbed in next to her, placing a hand over her. Alice scrambled in next to me while Jasper and Edward settled into the front. Edward looked back at me and smiled before starting the van and taking us home.

Twenty minutes later, Edward pulled up in the driveway. I wasn't surprised to see the gaggle of cars parked out front. In the last two days, we'd barely had a moment to ourselves. Not that minded, of course. My family was there when I needed them, even when I screamed and pushed them away. They never gave up on me, and in return, I wouldn't complain about them for wanting to be here with us when Savannah came home.

Carefully, Jasper helped me out of the van. He kept his arm wrapped around my waist while Edward pulled my crutches out of the back and slipped them under my arms. Alice tucked Savannah in her arms and led the way up the porch with Edward, Jasper, William, Carlisle, Esme, and Catherine following. Looking back at me, Alice opened the front door and we walked inside.

Crowded together in the living room, the rest of our family waited with baited breaths for us to walk in. Rose, Emmett, Kate, and Garrett stood in the back, while Embry and Jared stood next to Mike and Tyler. In the front, Charlie, Peter, Renee, and Charlotte waited with the girls in front of them and the boys in Renee and Charlotte's arms.

The moment they saw us, the girls screamed, "Mommy!" and took off running toward me.

Charlie and Peter swooped them up before they could run into me. "Whoa, girls," Peter cautioned. "You have to be careful with Mommy."

"It's okay," I said, going over to the couch and sitting down. Charlie and Peter placed Mackenzie and Whitley down and they came over to me, slowly climbing up next to me. I wrapped my arms around them. "I missed you so much."

"We missed you, too, Mommy," Mackenzie whispered, laying her head on my chest. "I was afraid you weren't coming home ever again."

Tears filled my eyes. "I will always come home," I murmured. "I need my babies so much."

"You do?" Whitley asked, bringing her hands up to my face.

"Yes, sweet-girl, I do." I smiled and reached for Savannah. Alice came over and placed her in my arms before settling down next to me with Whitley in her arms. Edward picked Mackenzie up and placed her in his lap while Jasper pulled Jackson and Edison from our mother's arms and sat next to Alice. "You five, you give me hope for the future, faith that everything will be okay, and grace when I don't always feel I deserve it."

"Mommy, are you better now?" Mackenzie asked, knowing she was referring to more than just giving birth.

For the first time in months, I was completely honest when I answered, "I am."

**Thank you for all the reviews. One chapter left…**


	53. Chapter 53

**THREE YEARS LATER**

I stood on the beach, feeling the warm water wash over my bare feet. The sun had just begun to set, casting a dull orange glow over the water. A light breeze wafted over me and I closed my eyes, just enjoying the feel of it on my skin. My pale-pink, silk dress blew around me so that it hugged my curves. Bringing my arms up, I wrapped them around my torso and sighed.

"Hey." At the sound of the calm, serene voice, I looked over my shoulder, smiling at the man behind me. "Sorry I'm late, Alice was insisting on taking about a million pictures."

I laughed. "Sound likes her."

Carlisle stepped up next to me, slipping his arm around my waist and leaning his head against the side of mine. He was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a white, button up shirt. Just like me, he was barefoot. His normal, perfectly styled blond hair looked like he'd run his fingers through it a dozen times — a trait I knew Edward had inherited from him. "It's beautiful out here, just like I remembered."

"Yeah, it is," I giggled, turning and leaning into his embrace. "Are you ready?"

"I've never been more ready," he whispered, though I could hear the nerves lacing each word. "I've waited a long time for this, Bella. Too long, but we're here now and everything's perfect."

Nodding, I nestled myself further into his arms. "I'm happy for you, Carlisle. Truly happy."

"Thank you," he whispered, turning and pressing his lips to the top of my head. "I — I don't feel like everything is gonna fall apart now, you know? I woke up this morning, and it didn't hurt to breathe."

I smiled and looked up at him. "Same here." Pressing up on my toes, I kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He laughed, taking my hand and pulling me up the beach. "Now, let's go, time for a wedding!"

Laughing together, we ran through the sand of Ilha Grande, stopping just outside of a large, white canvas tent. Winking at me, he ducked inside. I took one last look at the sunset before I followed. Standing in the front of the tent were Carlisle and William. They were holding hands, looking happier than ever. Today, they were committing their lives to Esme and Catherine — officially.

Moving over to the right side of the tent, I slipped into the chair between Edward and Jasper, gliding a sleeping Savannah from Jasper's lap into mine. She'd tried so hard to keep up with everyone, but the events of the day had exhausted her.

"Is he ready?" Edward whispered, leaning over so that his lips were just outside of my ear.

I shivered, which was a common reaction whenever he, Jasper, or Alice did that. "Yes," I murmured. "A little nervous, but so ready to do this."

"You look amazing," he murmured, sucking on my ear lobe. I barely managed to stifle my moan. "I can't wait to take that dress off of you tonight and fuck you hard."

"Edward," I breathed, shifting my eyes down to make sure Savannah hadn't woken up.

He laughed under his breath and leaned away from me. However, Jasper slung his arm around my shoulder and when I looked over at him, he was smirking. Yep, he'd heard every word Edward had said. I shivered and leaned toward him. A few minutes later, Alice came in and took the seat on the other side of Jasper. I looked over at her and she smiled, winking at me.

Before I could say anything to her, the music started and we all stood up, me being extra careful not to wake Savannah. Turning our attention to the back of the tent, I smiled when I watched Jackson and Edison walk through the beige flaps with a silk pillow in each hand. They were wearing khaki shorts and white shirts, just like Carlisle and William. Their cheeks were bright red as they scurried down the aisle, taking their positions behind their grandfathers. At four-years-old, they'd both grown so much, but neither of them liked being the center of attention — a trait Edward, Alice, and Jasper said they inherited from me. I couldn't deny that they were right; I still struggled with the attention I received.

Jonah, Caleb, and Clayton came through next, both of them keeping their eyes on the ground as they bypassed everyone and joined their younger cousins. Catching Embry's eye, I laughed. He and Jared were sitting on the bride's side of the, their hands clenched together and smiling. They'd been touched when Carlisle and William asked Clayton to stand with them as one of their grandchildren. Next to them were Mike and Tyler, who'd once again made the trip to Ilha Grande to celebrate with us. I'd often wondered if I should try to push the two of them into a relationship with Embry and Jared, but honestly, they didn't need each other the way I needed Edward, Alice, and Jasper.

Behind Embry, Jared, Mike, and Tyler, Angela was nestled in Seth's arms. Ben and Tanya were next to them, watching their nine-year-old son. When Carlisle asked me if I thought Seth, Angela, Ben, and Tanya would be okay with Caleb being a part of the wedding, I did my best to assure him that they would be fine with it, even if I did have some doubts. The four of them had made a nice life for themselves in Forks, even with the adversity they faced from Angela's parents, Robert and Ann, along with the rest of the town. Though, they held onto each other and came out stronger, making sure that Caleb never doubted for a moment that they were a family. I sat next to Carlisle, holding his hand while he called them, and asked for the right to consider Caleb as a grandson. Seth, Angela, Ben, and Tanya would never really understand how hard that was for Carlisle, but in his eyes, Caleb was one of his and he needed all of his grandchildren with him today.

My attention was drawn to the back of the tent once again as the flaps opened and Jocelyn stepped through. Unlike her brother and cousins, she relished in the attention and was nearly dancing her way down the aisle, tossing a handful of rose pedals with each step. She was the most spirited child I'd ever met — truly her fathers' daughter. Looking over at Emmett, I saw him with his arm around Kate, who was dabbing away her tears. Rose and Garrett were sitting next to them, watching their daughter with pride. Rose caught my eye and smiled. She and I had gone through so much over the years: anger over the choices Alice and I made for our lives; the struggle to rebuild our relationship; and find the right balance as sisters and friends. Now, however, I finally felt like Rose loved me for me, damage and all.

Almost as if she knew they were coming, Savannah began to stir in my arms. Shifting her to my good hip, she wrapped her arms around my neck and we watched as Mackenzie and Whitley came in. They were both wearing soft ivory sundresses and their hair had been pulled out of their faces, allowing the glow from their sun-kissed cheeks to be seen.

Mackenzie was barely taller than her sister, by maybe an inch. Her blond hair now reached down to the top of her bottom, and she loved it. Her dark brown eyes sparkled with excitement and joy. Whitley had just recently chosen to cut her auburn hair up into a bob. The hairstyle suited her, cradling her face and bringing out the deep green of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, they held hands and started walking down the aisle. At eight-years-old, they were still the best of friends. Looking over, they saw Savannah awake. Smiling, they let go of each other's hands and reached for their baby sister.

"Mommy, can I go?" Savannah asked, her sweet, delicate voice whispering in my ear.

"Of course," I murmured, kissing her cheek before putting her down. Saying excuse me to Edward, she ran over to Mackenzie and Whitley, taking their hands and smiling when everyone let out an "Aw." Yeah, she had everyone wrapped around her little finger.

Sliding his arm around my waist, Edward held me as I struggled to keep my tears from falling. Three-year-old Savannah may have been Edward's biological child, but there was so much of Jasper in her. Her long, wavy, honey-blond hair hung down around her shoulder and her cheeks were pink from spending the majority of the day chasing after Mackenzie, Whitley, and Jocelyn, trying to keep up with the big girls. As they walked past us, Savannah giggled and looked over at me, her soft green eyes sparkling with joy.

When they reached the front, Savannah released her grasp on her sisters' hands and jumped into Carlisle's arms. He laughed and hugged her tight. Looking over her shoulder at me, he winked. While Carlisle loved all of his grandchildren equally, he and Savannah had strong bond — one that I knew they'd always have.

"I bet he holds her the entire time," Alice whispered, causing Edward, Jasper, and I to laugh because we knew that if Savannah asked him to, he would.

"No, she'll tell him to focus on Nana and Grams," I murmured.

"Want to bet on it, beautiful?" Jasper asked, lifting an eyebrow at me.

I blushed and turned toward him. "Usual terms?" I whispered.

"Deal." Jasper winked at me, clearly thinking this would be the easiest bet that he ever won.

"Hope your ass is ready for me, lover," I purred, causing him to moan. "I'm feeling the need to fuck you hard and fast."

A cleared throat behind me caused me to look over my shoulder and I bit back my laughter. Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte were seated in the row behind us, and had clearly heard everything, including how I intended to fuck Jasper's ass later. Three years ago, I would have had a panic attack and ran out of the tent and straight down to the water's edge, struggling with the humiliation I felt. But now, I merely shrugged my shoulders, causing Jasper, Alice, and Edward to laugh.

"Bella," Charlie groaned, though I could tell he wasn't all that surprised. After all, he and Peter hadn't exactly been shy about their relationship. Just the day before, I'd walked into their cabana and saw Peter with my father bent over the back of the couch. I ran out before I saw anything, but I wasn't stupid. You'd think they'd learned to lock doors, seeing how many times they'd gotten caught in airport bathrooms. It's not like I didn't knock, but when I heard Peter yell, "Come," I assumed, he was telling me to let myself in. That was a mistake I wouldn't be making again.

"Sorry, Dad," I snickered.

"Liar," he grumbled, but when he winked at me, I knew he wasn't really pissed.

A soft waltz started playing, pulling our attention to the back of the tent once again. Catherine and Esme walked in hand in hand and smiled. They were both wearing simple, strapless, silk ivory dresses and were barefoot like the rest of us. Shifting her eyes around the room, Esme stopped on me and I saw the tears fill her eyes. I brought my hand up to my chest, hoping that she'd understand just how much I loved her. Nodding discretely, she answered my silent prayer.

Taking a deep breath, she and Catherine began walking toward William and Carlisle, who kissed Savannah's cheek and set her down. She happily skipped over and stood in front of her sisters, causing Jasper to mutter under his breath. Taking hold of William's hand, Carlisle watched as two of his lovers came to them. Once they were within arms' reach, William and Carlisle grabbed Esme and Catherine, nestling them into their embraces.

Robert Webber stood up and moved so that he was standing in front of them, smiling as he looked over at his wife of nearly forty years. It had taken him and Ann almost a year to come to terms with their daughter and Ben's relationship with Seth and Tanya, but finally, they'd seen for themselves the love the four of them shared.

"Today, we're blessed to be able to witness the commitment of four hearts," Robert stated, shifting his eyes over everyone and finding mine. "The greatest journeys are often the hardest, but finding the love of a lifetime is worth every bump in the road."

—EA—

Once again, I found myself standing on the beach with the water washing over my feet. The sun had set and the full moon was illuminating the water. Taking a deep breath, I brought my hand up to my chest. After Carlisle, Esme, William, and Catherine had been announced husbands and wives, Sam Uley pulled up the sides of the tent, allowing for more room to dance. He and Emily had graciously welcomed us back onto their island. It had been nearly a decade since we were here for our own wedding, a decade full of love and pain, but mostly love.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" Alice asked, slipping her arms around my waist. "You're missing the party."

I smiled. "Just needed some fresh air. It was getting a little intense in there."

Alice nodded against my shoulder, knowing that there were still times when I became overwhelmed with so many people around me. We'd just spent the last few hours celebrating and dancing. At one point or another, I'd found myself in the arms of every man in my family. It was right after I'd danced with Carlisle for the second time that I excused myself and came out to the beach again, needing a few minutes to calm my racing heart.

"For me, too," she murmured.

"Where are the kids?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm, but I always got nervous when I was away from them.

"Charlie and Peter were dancing with Mack and Whit. Jackson and Edison were running around the tent with Jonah, Caleb, and Clayton, saying something about girls being evil. Of course, that might have been because Jocelyn was chasing after them. And I know that this will surprise you, but Savannah was in Carlisle's arms," Alice explained. I laughed, knowing she'd barely left his side all night. Thank God Esme, William, and Catherine understood their bond. Alice pressed her lips against my shoulder. "Have I told you that you look beautiful?"

"A few hundred times over the years," I giggled, reaching around and pulling her in front of me. Placing my hands on either side of her face, I leaned in and kissed her. "Have I told you that I love you?"

"A few thousand times over the years," she whispered. Without even realizing it, Alice and I had started dancing on the beach. "I never get tired of hearing it, though."

"I never get tired of telling you." Leaning in, I pressed my lips against hers again. Alice's arms tightened around me, her hand sliding down to my ass. "How is it that every time you touch me, I feel like I'm going explode?"

Alice smirked. "Because I have magic fingers."

"Oh, yeah, you do, baby," I moaned, feeling Alice trying to inch my dress up. I covered her hand and looked over my shoulder, seeing the glow from the tweaking lights shimmering through the trees. "Someone will see."

"No, they won't," Alice purred, dragging me down the beach until we could no longer see the lights. Dropping to her knees in front of me, she slid her hands up my legs until she reached my hips. Shifting her eyes up to mine, she gasped. "You're not wearing panties."

"They didn't go with this dress." I smirked and ran my fingers through her hair. "Now, how about you show me just how talented that tongue of yours is?"

"Gladly," Alice purred, pulling me into the sand. In a heartbeat, she had the bottom of my dress pushed up and her face buried in my pussy. Arching my back, I cried out, thankful for the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. Alice attacked me like a woman possessed, gripping my thighs in her hands and nearly lifting the lower half of my body off the ground.

"Fuck, Ali," I moaned, leaning up on my elbows so I could watch. Her tongue was darting in and out of me, sliding as deep as she could get it with each stroke. Shifting her eyes up to mine, she smiled and I was done for. Falling back into the crystal-white sand, I shuddered as my release washed over me. Alice leapt on top of me, crushing her mouth down on mine and thrusting her tongue between my lips.

"Hot damn, that's sexy as fuck." Tearing her mouth off of mine, Alice and I looked over and found Edward and Jasper standing about twenty feet from us. Edward had his arms wrapped around Jasper. "Babe, have you ever seen a sight more incredible than that?"

"Just a few." Turning his lips to the side of Jasper's neck, Edward smiled. "You on your knees with my cock in your mouth being one of them."

Jasper moaned and turned in Edward's arms, kissing him hard before falling to his knees. Alice and I watched while Jasper undid Edward's pants, letting them fall to his feet. I bit back a moan; Edward was going commando, too.

"Fuck," Alice whimpered when Jasper leaned in and took Edward's hard cock in his mouth. _Definitely sexy_, I thought.

Smiling, I rolled us so that Alice was under me. I leaned in and brushed my lips across hers before I kissed my way down her body, sliding her dress up and finding myself face to face with her lace-covered pussy. Shifting my eyes over to Edward and Jasper, I saw Edward watching me with hooded eyes, one hand threaded in Jasper's hair and thrusting his cock in and out of his mouth. I gripped the sides of her panties, and slid them off of her, tossing them at the two of them. Edward growled, tightening his grip on Jasper's hair and thrusting harder.

"You fucking tease," he groaned. "Eat her pussy!"

"Patience, my love," I murmured.

Starting on her right leg, I slowly kissed my way toward the apex between her legs, yearning to taste her sweetness on my tongue again. Once I got there, I snaked my tongue out, licking her once before thrusting my tongue between her lips. Alice cried out, but I didn't stop. I knew what my girl liked and she wanted — no needed — me to fuck her, to take her body as mine, because she was mine. Just like I belonged to her, and we belonged to Edward and Jasper, and they to us.

"Oh, fuck, Jas, I'm gonna come," Edward growled and I looked over at him. He had both his hand on the back of Jasper's head, thrusting erratically. Shifting his eyes over to mine, he stilled his hips and came down our husband's throat.

"Bella, more!" Alice whined.

I laughed and turned back to her. "Sorry, baby, I got distracted by the sexiness over there."

"How can you not?" she snickered before reaching up, grabbing my hair and pulling me back into her pussy. "But I have a need that only you can satisfy."

Slipping my arms under her, I wrapped them around her thighs and started fucking her as hard as I could. Alice screamed, which was drowned out by the sound of the waves crashing onto the shoreline again. Tightening her grip on my hair, she began lifting her hips. Behind me, I felt a pair of hands on my hips. Jasper pulled me off of Alice, laying me in the sand. He motioned for Alice straddle my face, which she did eagerly. Jasper grabbed my hips and sheathed himself inside of me.

"Don't stop eating her pussy, beautiful," Jasper moaned, setting a fast and hard pace. "I want you to come with her."

Edward knelt behind Alice, pushing her forward so that she was lying on top of me. From my position under her, I watched as he pushed two fingers into her ass, stretching her for him. Once she was ready, he filled her and I couldn't stop the shiver that rushed through me. Increasing my pace, I matched Jasper's thrusts inside of me. Alice was close; I could tell by the way she was writhing over me, gasping for air. Bringing my hand around, I slipped three fingers inside of her, hitting her sweet spot just as Jasper changed his angle. Alice and I cried out together, our bodies giving Jasper just what he wanted.

After a handful more thrusts, he stilled his hips and spilled himself inside of me, dragging Edward over the edge with him. The four of us fell into the sand, panting and trying to catch our breaths. It'd been a long time since we'd let go of our inhibitions and just let our sexual nature take over.

Laughing, I rolled onto my side and looked at Jasper. "You cheated. I won the bet, your ass was supposed to be mine!"

He smirked and brought his hand up to my cheek. "Beautiful, you can have any part of me that you want."

"All I want is forever with my lovers," I whispered. Edward and Alice curled up around us, smiling.

"Bella, forever is a given," Edward murmured. "We love you, silly girl."

"We always have," Jasper added.

"And we always will." Alice pressed her lips against my shoulder.

"I love you, too."

Lying in the arms of my lovers, my husbands and my wife, I closed my eyes and let myself be happy. The years hadn't always been kind or easy for us, but we'd stuck together and made it through. Nothing, not even the harsh hand of a madman, could tear us apart. Our love was strong, our love was true, and our love was perfect.

***Takes a deep breath and tries to blink away the tears* Thank you all so much for all the reviews over this story, and the two previous ones. It's not always been an easy ride, and yes, I put Bella, Edward, Jasper, Alice, and everyone through a lot, but overall, they became stronger. I can't tell you how much your support and faith have meant to me. So, again, thank you. **

**Now, I have a Carlisle's POV written and will be donating it to the Toys 4 Tots compilation that a good friend of mine is putting together. If you want to donate and get the comp, let me know and I will get you the link. At the end of January, I will be putting the outtake up, but I am not sure if it will go on here, or if I will put it up as a separate one-shot type thing.**


	54. OuttakePossbile starte to new story

**Title:** Endless Awakenings: An Outtake

**Rated: **MA/NC-17

**Summary: **Bella, Edward, Jasper, and Alice have been to Hell and back — more than once. Now, that their lives on back track, they take a moment to reconnect as lovers. Disclaimer: Includes slash, femslash, and just about everything else you can think of. Pairings: B/E/A/J

—EA—

"You are going to be late," Carlisle chimed.

I smiled and looked at him. He was standing in the doorway between our offices with a playful grin on his lips. Almost a month had passed since we'd found ourselves standing on the warm sand on Ilha Grande for his wedding, and I'd never seen him happier than he was right now.

"We're leaving in a few minutes. I've just gotta finish these reports."

"Or," he said, pushing away from the doorjamb and walking to my desk, "you can let me finish them for you."

Sighing, I placed my hands on my desk and pushed my chair back, standing up. "If you insist."

"You're not gonna fight me?" He laughed.

"Nope," I giggled. "I learned a long time ago, Carlisle, that I need your help too much to fight you."

"I still need you, too. You know that, don't you?" he asked, suddenly becoming serious.

Nodding, I walked around my desk and placed my hand on his chest, leaned up on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. "I do. Keep my company safe while I'm gone, okay?"

"I will," he murmured, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my neck.

There would have a time in my life when having Carlisle that close to me would have seemed odd and awkward, but not anymore. Not after we spent two days in Hell, and every day since trying to put our lives back together. The road hadn't been easy or fun, but we'd come out the other end alive and that's all that mattered to me.

"Go before I change my mind and make you do your own work," he snickered.

"Yes, sir," I scoffed, pulling away from him. "I'm a phone call away."

Carlisle kissed my forehead. "Me, too."

Grabbing my purse from my desk, I gave him another grateful smile before leaving him in my office. I closed the door behind me, leaning against it and taking a deep breath. Irrational, but I was nervous about the trip Edward, Alice, Jasper, and I were going on. Not because of their expectations of me, but because we were going back to Forks, Washington.

"Hey, you about ready?" Jasper asked as he and Edward came out of his office, hands clenched together and a satisfied smile on their faces. I had the sneaking suspicion that they'd made the most out of their time inside.

I nodded. "Yep. Just left Carlisle with the last of my work. Alice ready?"

"I am," she sang, and I looked over to see her walking down the hallway toward me with her purse in her hands and a grin on her face. "Come on. Let's get the fuck out of here!"

I laughed, trying to stifle my nerves. It was irrational to be scared, but I was. I hadn't been back to Forks since the night Kelly Novak held me, Edward, and Ben at gun point in her insane quest to force Ben and Angela to love her. Not only that, but we were leaving our children with Charlie, Renee, Peter, and Charlotte for four days while we made the trip, and I didn't like the idea of leaving Mackenzie, Whitley, Jackson, Edison, or Savannah behind. But, with the exception of Savannah, they all had school. It had been hard enough to get the school to excuse to their absence for their grandparents' wedding. All the kids had to do special reports on something unique to the island. Kids just didn't get to be kids anymore.

"Stop thinking so hard," Edward murmured, sliding his arms around me while we waited for the elevator.

"I'm trying," I whispered.

"We know you're scared, but it's going to be okay. The kids will be safe. Everyone will be working together to make sure that nothing happens to them," Jasper added, wrapping his arms around me and Edward from behind him, resting his chin on Edward's shoulder.

I nodded. "I know."

"And Kelly Novak is not going to come anywhere near you," Alice said, joining our embrace. "I called Jack," She smiled when Edward and Jasper growled, "and he has promised me that she hasn't been back to Forks in over a year. Her parole officer told him that she's in New Jersey, working in some dump off the freeway. She can't hurt you again."

Once again, I nodded. "I know."

"Do you trust us to keep you safe?" Edward asked.

"Of course I do," I replied with a sigh. "It's just hard to go back there. I know we need to, for Seth, but Forks has never been a good place for me. First when Charlie, Renee, William, and Catherine disowned me and Alice for loving each other and you two, then Kelly . . ." I trailed off as I shook my head. "I'll go back there because it's for Seth, and lord knows he's always been there when I needed him. But I'm scared. I — I don't want to get lost again, not after I've worked so hard to get my life back. Going to Ilha Grande last month was hard enough, and that place is magical for me."

A dark look filled Alice's eyes, but she shook it off and smiled. "Like we were on the island, we're going to be holding you tight in Forks, baby. We're not going anywhere, Bella. Not ever."

"I know," I whimpered, feeling my eyes fill up with tears.

The doors to the elevator slid open and the four of us laughed as we stepped inside. The heaviness of our moment long forgotten as the doors closed behind us. In my heart, I knew they were right. I just needed my heart and my head to come to an understanding.

—EA—

Two hours later, Edward, Jasper, Alice, and I were standing in line, getting ready to board our flight from Los Angeles to Forks. Though I'd come very far over the last few years, I still found it hard to be around a lot of people. The fear that one of them would take a smile or look the wrong way and attack me was hard to overcome. Silly? Perhaps but I've been through too much to be complacent now.

"You know," Jasper whispered, pressing his lips against the outer shell of my ear, "we might need to check out the bathroom on the plane."

I shivered, a common reaction when Jasper was close to me. Based on the chuckle that came out of his mouth, he not only knew it, but enjoyed it, too. "Oh, really? Why?"

"You fucking know why," he growled, nipping at my ear.

I moaned.

"I feel this need to touch you," he added, placing his hands on my hips. I darted my eyes around, making sure that nobody was staring at us. They weren't, but the paranoid part of me still worried. "Bella."

"What?" I murmured, leaning into him. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my back through the thick, khaki pants he was wearing and the thin, silk blouse I wore.

"Can I touch you?" he whispered, tightening his grip on my hips.

"Depends," I moaned, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of me right now. But we couldn't, not with the line slowly shifting toward the gate. In front of us, Edward and Alice had their arms wrapped around one another, the two of them smirking at the two of us.

"On what?" he asked, gently grinding himself against me.

"On where you're touching me," I mumbled.

Jasper groaned, but before he could say anything, it was Edward and Alice's turn to hand their tickets over to the flight attendant standing next to the gate. The short, slightly plumpy blond gave Edward a look over before smiling and grabbing his ticket, purposely letting her fingers graze over his. Edward rolled his eyes and tightened his arm around Alice, who glared the ever loving fuck out her as she thrust her ticket at the woman.

"Thank you," Alice snarled, and I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. I had no doubt that if that woman flirted with any of us, Alice would have her on her ass, but she was too cute when she got jealous.

Behind me, Jasper laughed into my hair. "She's sexy as fuck when she gets like that."

"That she is," I agreed as the two of us stepped up to the flight attendant. Her eyes flittered from Edward to Jasper, and once again, she made her ogling clear and intentional. "Here," I snapped, nearly throwing my ticket at her.

"Thanks," she muttered, her cheeks flushing with her embarrassment. And I almost felt sorry for her. Almost because when she looked back at Jasper, she looked straight down at the bulge caused by his hard cock.

My hand twitched at my side and I resisted the urge to grab Jasper's cock and claim it as my own. However, Jasper cleared his throat and gently nudged me after Edward and Alice, who were waiting for us. Glaring at her first, I walked over to them.

"Bitch be trying to ogle what's mine," I mumbled, causing Edward, Jasper, and Alice to laugh.

"She can ogle all she wants, baby, but we're yours," Edward said, leaning around Alice and kissing me.

Behind us, I heard a gasp and turned to find the flight attendant watching the man who was holding Alice but kissing me. I smirked and winked at her, causing my lovers to laugh again. Sliding my arm around Alice's waist, I pulled her out of Edward's arms and led her through the tunnel, knowing full well that the flight attendant was watching.

"Baby, you're horrible," Alice snickered, sliding her arm under mine and nestling herself against mine.

"Not what you said last night." I slid my hand to the top of her ass, smirking when I heard Edward and Jasper moan behind us. "Or this morning."

Alice inhaled a sharp breath before we walked past the flight attendant direction passengers to their seats. Our seats were half way up the plane, but luckily we'd managed to get four seats together, something that hadn't been easy to obtain. The man disbursing our tickets didn't seem to understand that the four of us wanted to sit together. It wasn't until Edward placed one hand on the counter and told him that he'd like to sit next to his lovers, and then pointed to each of us that he seemed to understand. The man, who couldn't have been much older than nineteen or twenty, shifted his attention between the four of us, noticed the way Jasper was nearly groping mine and Alice's tits as he held us against him, and agreed.

Edward and Jasper stowed mine and Alice's carry-on bags in the overhead compartment before dragging us into our seats, sitting with Edward by the window, Alice next to him, me beside her, and Jasper on my left. As we settled in and buckled our seatbelts, the rest of the passengers filled in around us, looking over at us with a mixture of smiles and grimaces on their faces. While I'd stopped caring what people thought of me or my relationships with my husbands and wife, I still didn't like being at the center of attention.

Alice reached over and slipped her hand into mine. When I turned to her, she had a smirk on his lips. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said, but I knew there was something on her mind.

"Ali, tell me," I demanded.

"Nope," she quipped, bringing my hand up to her lips.

"Why not?"

This time when she lifted her focus to mine, there was a gleam in her eyes, the same one that I saw when we were fifteen years old and lying on my bed after catching Emmett and Rose fucking in her pool house. It was a look that had my pussy tingling and my heart racing.

"Because I'd rather show you," she purred.

I opened my mouth one, twice, and a third time, but I couldn't find the words. Before I could, the plane started pulling away from the gate and the flight attendants began to their presentation over flight safety. With a satisfied smile on her face, Alice turned and faced the front, leaving me sitting there with a blush heating my face. The damn woman knew just how to get me riled up. It was just one of the things I loved the most about her.

Twenty minutes later, we were airborne. Alice unbuckled her seatbelt and stood up, stepping past me and Jasper but making sure to shove her ass in our faces. Turning back to us, she reached across Jasper, who moaned, and stroked my cheek. "I'm feeling the need to . . . freshen up. Want to join me?"

"Yes," I breathed, wanting nothing more than to be nestled between her legs and tasting her on my tongue.

Her smile widened. "Two minutes, baby. Don't keep me waiting."

I nodded my head, feeling like a fifteen year old girl sneaking out of my parents' house again. Turning, she walked toward the back of the plane, swaying her hips from side to side with seduction. Barely a minute went by before I was on my feet and chasing after her. In my wake, I heard Jasper and Edward laughing at my eagerness. But I didn't care. Alice was my lover.

—EA—

By the time our flight landed at the Forks Airport, all four of us had rejoined the Mile High Club: first me and Alice and then Edward and Jasper. Needless to say, we'd drawn the attention of almost everyone on the plane, including more than a couple disapproving glares from the flight attendants. I didn't care, though. My lovers knew I was terrified of going back to Forks and were doing everything they could to keep me from losing my sanity.

Grabbing our carry-on bags, we disembarked the plane, ignoring the scowls coming from the flight crew and walked off the place, through the tunnel, and into the terminal. Just as I expected, Seth, Tanya, Ben, and Angela were waiting for us at the baggage claim. With their arms wrapped around each other, the four of them stood proudly in the middle of the Forks Airport, not caring that people were staring at them.

Seth tilted his head back, giving me his signature smirk, and I laughed as I broke away from my lovers, running over and jumping into his arms. Tanya, Ben, Angela, Edward, Jasper, and Alice laughed, but they also knew how important Seth was to me. He'd been one of the truest friends I'd never had, always being there to defend my honor or just let me rant and rave. There had been a time when I struggled to be around anyone and Seth was there for me.

"Look at you!" he howled.

I squealed when Seth picked me up and spun me around. "Stop!"

"Sorry," he laughed, setting me back on my feet. "You look happy."

"I am happy."

"Oh, I can tell," he scoffed, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

My cheeks heated, which caused everyone to snicker under their breath. Yeah, my active sex drive wasn't a secret to anyone — friends or family. But after having my world torn to pieces when Demetri Romanoff and his sister Kayla kidnapped and raped me and Carlisle, I nearly gave up on having a life with the people I'd fallen in love with so passionately. Now, ten years later, and they still had the ability to make me blush.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I mumbled.

"Hey, quit hogging her!" Tanya whined, nearly elbowing her husband out of the way and hugging me.

"Babe!" Seth protested, but allowed his wife to take me into her embrace.

"I've missed you, Bella!" Tanya giggled. She stepped back, placing her hands on my shoulders. "How's the hip?"

I rolled my eyes. "Same as it was a month ago. Perfectly fine."

"Good," she said with a smile.

Turning to Angela and Ben, I laughed as I hugged the two of them. They'd been mine and Alice's oldest friends, really the only two people in Forks that we trusted with almost everything. Everything but the love Alice and I felt for each other. Though, they knew — always knew — but never judged us. Unlike so many people in this town, including our parents, Ben and Angela never made Alice and I feel that our love was wrong.

"Where's Caleb?" I asked, looking around for their son.

"He went camping with his best friend and his family," Angela said, giving me a look. "Matthew isn't allowed at our house, so he goes with them a lot."

"His parents don't approve of your relationship?" I asked as Edward, Alice, and Jasper sighed. We'd run into this problem a few times since the girls started school. Most parents didn't care, but there were a few who made their feelings painfully clear. Now that Edison and Jackson were in Pre-K, we were preparing for even more criticism, but vowed to make sure our children never doubted for a moment that we were in love with each other.

"No," Ben answered, sliding his arm around Angela. "Matthew is new this year. His father is the new preacher at the Baptist church, and well, he's made it clear that he doesn't support our 'alternative' lifestyle, as he refers to it. But he doesn't hold it against Caleb, so he's allowed at their house."

"Caleb doesn't understand why his parents disapprove. I think he goes over there in hopes of educating Matthew's parents, but we all know that won't be easy," Tanya added.

"No, it won't," Edward said, placing his hand on the small of my back. "But if anyone can, it's Caleb."

With a sign and a nod, everyone agreed.

Grabbing our luggage off the carrousel, we followed Seth, Tanya, Ben, and Angela out to their cars. Somehow, the eight of us managed to squeeze into their suburban, though it was a tight fit. Jasper took advantage of just how close I was to him and 'accidently' grabbed my boob. Ten minutes later, Seth pulled up in front of one of two houses that sat on the large river-front property on the outskirts of Forks.

As we climbed out, I wrapped my arms around my torso and studied the large house in front of me. The large, Victorian style house had been the first plans I'd ever drawn at Berkeley. I'd designed it in hopes that one day my parents would live there, but after my accident, they'd moved to L.A. and the house had sat vacant until Seth, Angela, Tanya, and Ben bought it from them. While I was glad for my friends, I hated that my parents couldn't live there. For far too long our relationship had been bumpy. I'd spent the majority of my life feeling like I didn't belong in my family. I didn't think I was as beautiful as Rose, or as perfect or as wanted. It wasn't until after Alice and I met Jasper and Edward that we had the strength to be honest about who we were, how we felt about each other. And even then, Charlie, Renee, William, and Catherine hadn't been supportive. They'd pushed us away, while making it clear they were ashamed of us.

Then, on Thanksgiving, Esme dragged us back to Forks, forced us to sit down and hash things out. While Charlie, William, and Catherine came around, almost begging me and Alice to forgive them, Renee just couldn't seem to get past the fact that I needed Alice. For a month I tried to be patient with her, tried to give her the time she needed to accept that Alice was the woman I was in love with, that Edward and Jasper were the men who made me happy. I was ready to give up when she and Charlie showed up at my office one day.

It felt like we stood there, staring at each other for a lifetime before my mother opened her arms and beckoned me to her. It was the first time I remember ever feeling like my mother really loved me. I pulled her into my office and showed her the plans for this house, shared that part of my life with her. For the first time, Renee told me she was proud of me.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked, sliding her arms around me and laying her head on my shoulder.

I nodded. "Just . . . reminiscing, I guess."

"Over good times?"

"Some of it," I replied, looking over at her. "Like the night our senior prom."

Alice's eyes flew open. "Oh, I'd almost forgotten about that!"

"What happened the night of the prom?" Angela asked, making us aware that everyone was watching us.

"Bella and I had just broken up with Jack and Owen, and had gone to the prom together. But, because it was totally lame, we persuaded Old Man Keller to sell us a bottle of vodka and came out here. We got drunk off our asses, went skinny dipping, and proceeded to fuck each other's brains in the backseat of my car."

Edward and Jasper moaned, a common reaction when they heard stories about how Alice and I ate each other out as young, teenage girls. But it was Seth and Ben's reactions that caused us all to laugh. Their eyes widened and each of them tried to discreetly adjust themselves, but they weren't able to hide it.

"Come on, pervs," Tanya snickered, grabbing Ben's hand and giving it a tug. "We all know that Bella and Alice eating pussy is hot. Can we go inside now?"

Once again laughing and agreeing, we headed inside. A feeling of unease washed over me, but I did my best to push it back.

—EA—

I woke up early the next morning and carefully slipped out of the arms of my lovers. Being quiet, I walked downstairs and into the kitchen to make some coffee, but was surprised to see Seth sitting at the breakfast table with a large set of plans in front of him.

"How many times have you looked at those?" I asked.

He smiled and tilted his head back, looking at me. "A million."

I nodded and picked up a coffee cup from the counter, pouring myself a cup before sitting down across from him. "Are you nervous about tonight?"

"Nah," he lied, shifting his eyes back to the plans.

"I'd be scared shitless," I murmured, causing him to look up at me again. "All those people staring at me? Expecting me to say something witty? Talk about pressure."

"Gee, when you put it like that," he groused. "Honestly, I'm not even sure why they're giving me the damn award."

"How about because you're brilliant? And amazing? And deserving?" I offered. I expected him to laugh or something, but he didn't. Seth frowned. I leaned over and placed my hand on top of his. "What's going on, Seth?"

"Leah called me yesterday," he murmured. "My mom is sick. Liver Cancer."

"Oh, Seth, I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"Leah wasn't supposed to tell me but she didn't want my mom to die without me knowing," he said, trying to sound like it didn't bother him, but I knew it did.

Sue Clearwater hadn't made her disapproval of Tanya, Ben, and Angela a secret. Not only had her son betrayed his 'people' by marrying a white woman, but then he had the audacity to become a well-rounded sinner by engaging in immoral sexual relationships with Ben and Angela. Her words, not mine. Of course it didn't help that Seth kept his relationship with Ben and Angela a secret from his mom for the better part of their first year together. But when Sue and Leah, Seth's older sister, traveled to Forks for Christmas, they discovered there was more to Seth and Tanya's friendship with Ben and Angela than met the eye. Sue gave Seth an ultimatum: her and Leah, or Ben, Angela, and Tanya. Seth chose his lovers, something his mother vowed never to forgive. She and Leah left.

"I hadn't heard from my sister in over two years, Bella, and when she calls, it's just to tell me that my mom is dying. What am I supposed to do with that information? Go back to L.A.? Try to make things right with them?"

"I don't know," I replied honestly. "Is that what you feel you should do?"

Seth sighed, twisting his hand around so that his fingers were wrapped around mine. "No. When I came out, for the lack of a better word, my mom made it clear that she would never accept me, Tanya, Ben, Angela, or Caleb. I love them, Bella. But I've missed my mom. She used to be this amazing woman to me, always so strong and tough. She raised me and Leah on her own, but she can't love my family. Ben, Ang, and T are the loves of my life. And Caleb is my son. I can't give them up, not just because she can't get her head out of her ass and see that they make me happy."

"I wish I knew what to tell you. We're lucky. Our parents understand the love we share," I told him.

"Oh, I know," he laughed. "I think that's what I miss the most about L.A."

"What? Our pervy parents?" I scoffed.

"No. Well, yes. I just mean that I miss the acceptance that y'all have for each other. I know it hasn't always been easy between you and them, Bella, but in the end, you know that your parents, that Edward, Jasper, and Alice's parents love you, support you. I just envy you, I guess."

"You have Robert and Anne."

Seth nodded. "We do, but they don't get it. They've learned to accept it, learned to get past the fact that it goes against what they feel is right, but they don't understand how I can be in love with Tanya, Ben, and Angela."

"They don't have to understand, Seth." I gave his hand a squeeze. "Be thankful for the fact that they're not letting their personal feelings stop them from loving you, Seth."

"I am," he murmured. Taking a deep breath, he slipped his hand out from under mine and grabbed my coffee cup. "Let me get you a refill."

"Thanks." I leaned back in my seat and watched him walk over and refill both our cups.

Placing my cup back in front of me, he sat back in his chair and looked down at the plans spread out on the table. "I know it wasn't easy for you to come back to Forks, Bella, but it means a lot that you're here." Seth looked up at me. "I love you. You know, in a 'you're my boss and best friend' kind of way."

"I love you, too." Standing up, I cradled my cup to my chest and walked around the table. I leaned down and kissed his cheek. "And I'm glad I'm here, too."

Leaving Seth alone in the kitchen, I headed back upstairs to the guest room. When I walked in, I found Edward, Jasper, and Alice letting their hands roaming over each other's bodies. Alice as squeezed in between them, one hand wrapped around Jasper's cock, while her other was nestled in Edward's hair, while he was grinding himself against her. At the sound of the door closing, the three of them looked over at me, a mixture of lust and need on their faces.

"Come here," Alice purred, sliding her hand out of Edward's hair and reaching for me.

Unable to deny her anything, I set my cup on the top of the dresser and began stripping my clothes off. Climbing onto the bed, I found six hands caressing my body, three pairs of lips feasting on my skin, and more love than I'd ever felt before.

—EA—

"Shh," Angela giggled, leaning against Seth as the eight of us stumbled up the front steps of their house. "Don't want to wake the birds."

"The birds are too busy fucking," Tanya slurred, reaching around and grabbing Angela's ass. Angela moaned and crushed her mouth against her lovers. "You taste good, baby."

"Hmm, I do," Angela purred. "Especially on your tongue."

Seth and Ben moaned and opened the door, pushing them inside. Edward, Alice, Jasper, and I followed. For the past five hours we'd been celebrating Seth's achievements. The state of Washington had announced two months ago that they were honoring Seth with an award based on one of his buildings, a reconstruction of a large hotel that had been turned into a historical monument.

"This house is too quiet," Ben exclaimed, walking over to their huge entertainment center and turning on the stereo.

The room was suddenly filled with slow, sensual music. Ben reached up and loosened his tie before slipping from around his neck and tossing it onto the couch. Angela and Tanya were already in each other's arms, their lips barely an inch away from the others as they dance. Behind me, Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing the full length of his body against mine. He'd been touching me all night, just enough to have me aching with need, but not enough to push me over the ledge. He was teasing me, and I loved every minute of it.

"Jas," Alice moaned, and I looked over to find him holding her against him, his hands kneading her ass through her red dress.

Jasper caught me staring and smirked as he squeezed her cheeks harder.

I bit my lip, stopping myself from moaning out loud.

"Baby, you looked so good up there tonight," Ben growled and I turned to find him and Seth with their bodies pressed against each others, hands roaming everywhere.

While they hadn't hidden how much they loved each other, Seth, Tanya, Ben, and Angela weren't usually so grabbing in front of other people. Of course, the large amount of alcohol the eight of us had consumed tonight helped. Well, all of us except Alice. She had voted herself to be our designated driver, saying that someone had to keep their head clear.

"You were fucking me all night with your eyes," Seth accused, sliding his hand down the front of Ben's pants. "You're so fucking hard. Do I make you hard like this?"

"Yes," Ben panted, shifting his hips toward his lover. "I need you."

Seth pressed his forehead against Ben's. "You have me."

Sliding his hand into Ben's, he dragged him toward the stairs with Tanya and Angela right behind him. They had already started undoing their clothes, almost as if they had forgotten that they had guests. Which they probably had, seeing as they were solely focused on each other.

"Let's take our party upstairs, baby," Edward whispered into my ear.

All I could was nod; the overwhelming urge to say fuck it and take them in the middle of the living room was too much. If we'd been at our house, then sure, but we weren't, and the last thing we needed was to get caught defiling the room. Not that I had any doubt that Seth, Tanya, Ben, and Angela hadn't already done that. They loved each other.

Edward pressed his body against mine once more before he lifted me up, tossed me over his shoulder, and took off upstairs. Behind us, I heard Alice and Jasper laughing as they followed. Edward opened the door to the guest room and nearly threw me into the bed. In a heartbeat, he was on top of me, stripping off my dress and exposing my body to him, Jasper, and Alice.

I felt vulnerable yet secure that they loved me despite the hell my body had been through over the last ten years. Between numerous stalkers and an accident that left me with a slight limp, they never stopped loving me, never stopped telling me how beautiful I was to them.

Edward leaned up on his knees and began to undo his shirt, but Jasper climbed onto the bed behind him, pushing his hands away.

"Mine," Jasper growled, gripping the two panels of his shirt and ripping them apart. Buttons when flying and Edward moaned. "Fuck me, you're sexy."

"Jas," Edward groaned, reaching behind him and grabbing his hips. "Touch me. Please, fucking touch me."

"I will," Jasper purred. "When I'm ready. Now shut the fuck up and let me take your clothes off."

Jasper wasn't one to normally be so forceful with anyone. Alice had removed all her clothes and climbed onto the bed next to me. Her hands roamed over my body until her fingers came into contact with my pussy. I moaned, lifting my hips toward her touch, but she pulled away from me.

"Ali, more!" I demanded, sounding like a needy whore. I was. I needed her. I needed Jasper. And I need Edward.

"I want to taste you." She giggled. "Can I taste you? Fuck you with my tongue?"

"Yes, please fuck me!" I begged.

Alice smiled as she rotated her body so that her pussy was hovering over my lips. I grabbed her hips and pulled her down, sliding my tongue into her pussy. "Jesus fuck, Bella!"

"Eat me, Ali," I growled, thrusting my hips toward. "Eat my pussy like it's the last time you'll ever taste it."

Alice didn't say anything as she leaned forward and began to lick my pussy. I could hear Edward and Jasper moaning, but I couldn't see them. Based on the groans coming from Edward, I would guess that Jasper was sucking his cock, bringing him to the edge but refusing to let Edward come. Alice wrapped her arms around my legs, pulling them further apart as she continued to devour me. I lapped at her clit, wanting to make her come for me. Her legs began to shake and I knew she was getting close, so I sucked her clit in between my teeth and gently bit down.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she nearly screamed, grinding her pussy onto my tongue.

I licked and swallowed as much of her as I could before she was pulled off me. I barely had time to look up before Jasper was shoving his cock into my mouth. I moaned around him, causing him to cry out.

"Fuck, Bella!"

"She sucks good cock, doesn't she, baby," Edward purred and I felt him place his hands on my hips, lifting me off the bed.

"Yeah," Jasper breathed, fucking my mouth at a slow pace. "Just like you do."

"She taught me well," Edward laughed, rubbing the head of his cock up and down my pussy.

I slipped Jasper out of my mouth and looked over at him. "Get your cock inside of me now!"

"Now?" he asked, lifting one of his eyebrows. "You want me inside of you now."

"Yes," I snarled. "Fuck me, Edward. Fuck me now!"

"Then you better get to sucking Jasper's cock, baby. I want you to swallow his come for me."

I attacked Jasper's cock like a woman having her last meal. Taking him deep into my throat, I was thankful that years of sucking him and Edward off had caused my body to automatically know when they were inside of me, allowing me the freedom to take all of him in my mouth. Edward tightened his hands on my hips and slammed himself inside of me, causing me to shift upward a bit and take Jasper even further into my throat. I moved my hands to Jasper's ass, begging him with my touch to fuck my mouth.

"Oh, fuck," he moaned, setting his pace so that he was keeping in tune with Edward. It wasn't until he bent down over me that I saw Alice on the bed behind Jasper, strap on nestled between her legs and a bottle of lube in her hands. She winked at me before she lubricated the silicone dick and positioned herself at Jasper's ass. "Now, Alice, now!"

Without needing to be asked again, she pressed forward, filling him. He hardened in my mouth and I knew it wouldn't take much for him to come. I sucked harder, tilting my head back so that he filled my mouth and throat at a different angle. As his thrusts became more erratic, so did Edward's. Thrust after thrust they filled my mouth and pussy, until six, seven, eight more times, they still themselves, crying out as they came inside of me.

I swallowed every drop of Jasper's come, wanting to savor the taste of him on my tongue. Though he had found his release, Alice kept up her pace, panting and heaving as the straps rubbed against her pussy.

Edward pulled his cock out of me and I felt Jasper sucking my taste of him before delving into my pussy for more. My pleasured scream was muffled by the softening cock in my mouth as Jasper attacked my sensitive clit, making me come again. Finally, Alice found her climax and slipped out of Jasper.

The four of us collapsed onto the bed, exhausted, and covered in sweat, but smiling. After ten years as lovers, we could still manipulate each other's bodies.

—EA—

I was awoken the next morning when I heard Alice giggle. When I looked over, I saw her cuddled up next to Edward, their naked limbs wrapped around each others and a look of pure happiness on their faces. They had such an easy love for one another. Throughout our ten year marriage, they were the glue that had kept us from falling apart.

"Keep it down over there, you two," Jasper groaned, tightening his arm around me. "Some of us are hung over."

"Not me," Edward boasted. "I feel great."

"Yeah, you do," Jasper laughed. "Especially wrapped around my cock, but that is beside the point. My head is pounding."

"Mine, too," I whined. "You're smart for not drinking last night, Ali," I groaned, burying my face in Jasper's chest. "My head feels like it's about to explode."

"I couldn't drink last night," she replied, and the three of us looked over at her.

"Why not?" Edward asked.

Alice smiled. "Because I'm pregnant."


End file.
